Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Druidsrule 08-03-06, 09:10 PM	Yeah, so this is the running list of bios that'll put you in a mood for murder. Not much more to say, really, is there? Just list 'em up. 1) Drizzt Do'ordan. The bio that, in fact, is Drizzt Do'urden of the Forgotten Realms with a few of the names changed. 2) OMG ANGST! The bio that has no happy or content or good moments in it. Something happens all the time, and in this sort of bios, the parents are probably killed nine or ten times. 3) Teh typeeos. The bio that is illegible, because half the words fail the prerequisite of being part of the English/Spanish/whatever language. A typical sentence will look like "adn tehn seh kliled temh becuase thye wree ivel". Please, PLEASE, number your instances.
Pandaemoni 08-03-06, 09:17 PM	4. The character who is born into incredible wealth and power by virtue of who his parents are, be they the merchant who holds a nationwide monopoly on sales of grain, a married pair of archmages, or the queen of a major country and the human avatar of Thor (that's a real one).
Shaggy_Shaggs 08-03-06, 09:25 PM	5. Whatever background it is that Druidsrule had, that causes him/her to post an unnecessarily hostile-titled thread to the wrong board. :smirk: 6. The competent Forrest Gump - the character who has been everywhere, seen everything, and been a key participant in every major event in the last generation - and he's 1st level. :rolleye2:
Druidsrule 08-03-06, 09:37 PM	5. Whatever background it is that Druidsrule had, that causes him/her to post an unnecessarily hostile-titled thread to the wrong board. :smirk: : The title thing - Fixed. The wrong board thing - I really suppose that a bad character bio can have an effect on the entire group, meaning also the players. So speaking in VERY broad terms, I'm at the right board. On a serious note, I realise now the error of my ways and apologise.
obrysii 08-03-06, 09:43 PM	7. The character with the, uh, past of, uh, hmm...a cleric! But he's really a rogue. His parents were, um, people of the church, yeah! And, and they were like powerful.
Reversefigure4 08-03-06, 10:10 PM	8: The Multi-Class Nightmare. The character started off in a monastery, then went out into the wild, then became a cleric of a made up deity with the best domain combinations, then was suddenly a Dread Pirate. All without the slightest bit of consistency or character motivation behind it, the Multi-Class Nightmare creates an uber-build with the backstory "OK, then he went and did this, then this, then this" to account for it's classes.
KurenaiYami 08-03-06, 10:19 PM	9. The character who was molested in his childhood and thus has developed an acute case of insanity. Has anybody else dealt with this?
Sphyre 08-03-06, 11:36 PM	10. Amnesia. My character has amnesia, so I don't have to make a character background. (Of course, the first time someone ever does that to me, i'm so going to make them regret it by making their own background, but since they don't remember it... mwhahahahahahaa!
Nived 08-04-06, 02:03 AM	Syphre, that's not always a players fault. I was once asked to come up with a background at 3 am and did that one. It was Ravenloft.... I paid for it. ANYWAY 11: The loner, parents either killed or abandoned him as a child he grew up alone (on the streets or the wild depending on the class), all skills are self taught. He doesn't need ANYBODY. Of course expects YOU to find a reason for his character to work with the party.
TheMeanOne 08-04-06, 02:04 AM	12. The No Background, when all someone can string together is "they wanted to be an adventurer because being a laborer payed really bad" or "they dont like bad things." No history, no family, no friends, no enemies, no hometown, no reason for being where they are at the beginning of the campaign.
Solian 08-04-06, 07:24 AM	13. DM do. These players make the DM write evarything about their characters backgrounds and have no imagination whatsoever! they usually say "Joey Do" in the case of my name being Joey. Don't they know we already ahve enough to write about without having to create their characters aswell.
Pandaemoni 08-04-06, 11:47 AM	10. Amnesia. My character has amnesia, so I don't have to make a character background. (Of course, the first time someone ever does that to me, i'm so going to make them regret it by making their own background, but since they don't remember it... mwhahahahahahaa! Four words for that character: Former Donkey Show Performer. :D
Apollo's Lyre 08-04-06, 11:54 AM	14. The Over-Exotic. Comes from some country no one (including the DM) has ever heard of, and uses that excuse to be some insane race/class combo that clashes horribly with whatever the main setting of the campaign is. 15. The TragiEvil. Her character's background is one long, cliche sob story, much like #2. However, the TragiEvil also believes that her angst-riffic background makes her exempt from traditional morality and that she can maintain a good/neutral alignment while behaving like a CEI (chaotic evil idiot) because "she had such a terrible childhood!" 16a. The Sub-Intelligent Player. Character's Int score: 18. Player's Int score: 6. Tries to make up for playing a character 3x as inteligent as he himself is by inserting random big words into his bio, usually using/spelling said words incorrectly. Often also a #3. 16b. The Sub-Intellingent Character. Believes that a character with an Int penalty is incapable of having any sort of deep backgound. If she's also a #3, she'll claim that it's on purpose because "Urk teh brbarien seplls liek theat!!"
Shaggy_Shaggs 08-04-06, 11:57 AM	Four words for that character: Former Donkey Show Performer. :DThat's all well and good until the player whips out the Book of Vile Darkness and d20 Book of Erotic Fantasy and starts a psychologically scarring game of 'Can You Top This?'
Callahan 08-04-06, 12:28 PM	17. The orphan. I freaking hate those guys. How the hell does an Orphanage produce that many adventurers any way?
albinomonkeyking 08-04-06, 12:39 PM	18. The almighty and powerful parents. They were epic adventurers in their day and their son will be the same. (boy did I regret THAT one. Not very hard when the lich captures them so someone escapes and gets 'daddy'. I can't believe I was stupid enough to do that.)
Autoschediastician 08-04-06, 12:56 PM	18. (Name of great hero from [insert book series])'s progeny or apprentice who has now surpassed their teacher/parent and/or the teacher/parent is now dead and must be avenged. (I'm guilty of this one, my first character way back in 6th grade, was the apprentice of Drizzt. A Drow Elf Ranger from Menzoberanzen, who followed Mielikki, though he did have his own scimitars, and was missing a hand, which was why he left/was chased out of the underdark. :rolleyes: Ah, those were the days, huh? :) )
Staver 08-04-06, 01:01 PM	17. The orphan. I freaking hate those guys. How the hell does an Orphanage produce that many adventurers any way? I can't believe it took until #17 to get this one! Almost everyone I play with uses this regularly, and it is really sad. My character has both parents, two brothers and a sister just so I could avoid this cliche'. As a side note, I think if I run a campaign, in my world the orphanage will double as an adventurer training center! -Staver :D
green_yawgmoth 08-04-06, 01:59 PM	15. The TragiEvil. Her character's background is one long, cliche sob story, much like #2. However, the TragiEvil also believes that her angst-riffic background makes her exempt from traditional morality and that she can maintain a good/neutral alignment while behaving like a CEI (chaotic evil idiot) because "she had such a terrible childhood!" RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG GGGGGGG!!! I know someone exactly like this in real life. Thinks that because he was almost raped (http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Almost_raped) once, that it excuses him from being a complete and utter assboat to everyone he comes in contact with that doesn't immediately stroke his "ego". He's got a rap sheet (both criminal and social) as long as my arm. The hate I feel for people like that, real or created, cannot be expressed without the Dark Speech feat. 19. The ego. This one takes parts from several of the others and puts them together for maximum irritation. Always wants first pick of the loot, expects everyone to "just deal" with his constant berating, bickering, and otherwise acting like a shithead. Usually has some grand scheme to become a god/ruler of the world/some other nonsense. Usually plays a character much the way you'd expect a 13 year old naruto/inuyasha fan to act. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Moniker 08-04-06, 03:42 PM	20) "I was raised by ninjas, dude!" 21) "My family was killed by dragons, and now I want my revenge..."
Starmage21 08-04-06, 04:29 PM	22.) em0s...oh wait you said PC bios! Meh...theyre usually one in the same.
Always-Late 08-04-06, 05:51 PM	23. My parents were high-level casters. This explains all the permanent spells. And the phat lewt I'm carrying around. Oh, and I've got an item that summons them if I need help.
Bulletproof_Condom 08-04-06, 05:59 PM	24. "Uh, he's a fighter."
geekling 08-04-06, 06:55 PM	17. The orphan. I freaking hate those guys. How the hell does an Orphanage produce that many adventurers any way? In a way I can understand this one. There are certain DMs, and they do not seem to be very rare either, that just can not resist the DM crutch / temptation of killing the PCs family. Well, unless you do it yourself first and just make a **** ********* ** **** **** ** **** ******* **** *** orphan to save him the trouble.
Herald@Large 08-04-06, 07:22 PM	25. Anything that starts with the phrase "I was kidnapped ..." It's almost always an excuse for twinked or munchkin characters. The dwarf kidnapped and raised by drow, the drow kidnapped and raised by kender ... 26. Any bio that's simply an excuse to justify some completely broken half-this half-that.
Aterum 08-04-06, 07:23 PM	26. The mishmash - a character bio which is just a mishmash of all of the PCs favorite TV shows, books and movies. Even names aren't original. "His name is Legolas and his mother was an assassin who was shot in the head with an arrow by her boyfriend on her wedding day! She died but Legolas was delivered alive and soon he was wisked away to live with his uncle who farms moisture! Bandits invaded the town and killed his uncle and his cousins and his aunt so he had to go train with the Guild of Heroes to get revenge on his dad and the bandits!" 27. The character from another game - This character was popular in a previous campaign so the DM or PC comes up with some way to bring him over to this new campaign. If the PC didn't start as this character he eventually transform into this character. Doesn't matter how convoluted/stupid the excuse is. Because this character was popular and everyone loves him, he gets to play him again. - I'm playing in a game with a 26 and 25 sounds very annoying. -
Starmage21 08-04-06, 07:42 PM	26. The mishmash - a character bio which is just a mishmash of all of the PCs favorite TV shows, books and movies. Even names aren't original. "His name is Legolas and his mother was an assassin who was shot in the head with an arrow by her boyfriend on her wedding day! She died but Legolas was delivered alive and soon he was wisked away to live with his uncle who farms moisture! Bandits invaded the town and killed his uncle and his cousins and his aunt so he had to go train with the Guild of Heroes to get revenge on his dad and the bandits!" Thats actually kind of funny.
green_yawgmoth 08-04-06, 10:07 PM	30 (real count): The pet character. Usually belongs to an enlish major, aspiring writer, or both. This character undoubtedly has a background 50x more detailed than the DM requested, and is sometimes just a printout of the first chapter of the book he plans on getting published as soon as he finds a publisher that doesn't want to make money. It's always a type of creature that has a large LA or has to be custom made, and has the flurry of a monk, casts spells like a gestalt sorcerer/cleric, gets 14 bonus feats at 1st level, and gets dragon HD instead of his class's HD, among a slew of other things, since "he wrote them into his backstory". Tends to leave after the second session because the game isn't focused entirely around his character. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
cmrscorpio 08-05-06, 12:05 AM	31) "I was exiled from my home and forced to wander far and wide..." But there is no explanation as to why he was exiled and forced to wander.
Apollo's Lyre 08-05-06, 12:54 AM	32. The Jigsaw. If you read one paragraph of his bio, it makes sense. It's only when you try to get through multiple paras that you realize that, unless the character in question is some sort of hyperdimensional being, there's no way he could be born in a secluded monastary in the mountains AND in the back room of a city pub. To two point five different sets of parents of at least six different races.
BadCatMan 08-05-06, 01:32 AM	33. "I'll do it later." Fair enough, characters tend to be different from how they're planned, and I can understand getting a feel for them first, before trying to explain them. But wondering how to introduce someone who is a name, class and vague concept is quite a puzzle.
gurullamen 08-05-06, 01:44 AM	34. The Paladin/Good Incarnate with no Reason for Being Such "I'm here to smite evil. Want proof? I have a halo, stigmata and a sword personally given to me by my god. Also, angels often assist me for no apparent reason and I cry holy water. Paradoxically, though, I often do things that hinder my god's agenda through my own unwillingness to listen, love of slaughtering heathens and generally not having enough wisdom to solve a Chinese finger trap. Despite all of this, it never occurs to my god to stop granting me the powers I use to commit heinous acts in his name."
Kyle_the_wizard 08-05-06, 01:56 AM	35. "When a mommy [insert random monster here] and a daddy [insert different monster here] get drunk and have a good time together..." 36. Anything that has "Rasied by" Okay yeah if you were raised by your parents thats fine and dandy but when the (actually true) half ogre half giant was raised by a racially strict order of human paladins to become a Blackguard 37. Anything that invloves reincarnate. 38.When your dwarf apothecary has 13 brothers and siters in a dwarfven citadel and they were slaughtered by ogres decides to make full plate, go visit a monastery and grab 300 scrolls, some everburning torches, a deck of many things and a +25 artifactual ax...all before first level. 39. An elf lordling who is heir to the greatest elven throne in the multiverse... 40. The Half giant rogue, 'Nuff said 41. The wizard who starts with all spells up to level 5 mastered...at level 2. 42. Some masked Ninja type character who cuts letters into people. 43. Any copy right of any other book, movie tv show or anything else. Copies are no fun! for me or you so stop!
Apollo's Lyre 08-05-06, 10:43 AM	43. Any copy right of any other book, movie tv show or anything else. Copies are no fun! for me or you so stop! I've actually played an entire campaign like this. All the PCs were characters from other sources, and so were all the major villians and important NPCs. It was actually a lot of fun. Weird and sort of unbalanced, but a lot of fun.
green_yawgmoth 08-05-06, 01:55 PM	I've actually played an entire campaign like this. All the PCs were characters from other sources, and so were all the major villians and important NPCs. It was actually a lot of fun. Weird and sort of unbalanced, but a lot of fun. Me and my friends were going to make a campaign with Captain Jack Sparrow (CN rogue/swashbuckler/dread pirate), Pikachu (TN shocker lizard sorcerer/elemental savant), Jesus of Nazareth (NG exalted cleric/risen martyr), and Ghenghis Khan (NE barbarian/ranger). Jesus would constantly be trying to convince them to not kill things/steal/etc., Pikachu would no doubt take summon monster _ to summon more pikachus and make that subdual lightning even more awesome, and so on. Total goof game, but still sounded fun to us. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Falkonesper 08-05-06, 03:32 PM	44) The "Let's find an abandoned warehouse or INN and make it our HQ" guy. Man, he even managed to make the innkeeper the new mayor of the town. 45) The "I'm better than all the other races" elf. He was like a fighter/wizard and his favorite spell was Clean. Every time he touched, fought, talked to someone he used clean on himself so he might not have impure stains on himself. 46) The "I don't care about the story plot, I want to go McDonald's" guy... this guy just forgot about the story and decided he didn't like the king of the place he was and rented a boat to travel to another continent... What I didn't tell him is that there was no other continent and he fell at the end of the world into the abyss of "where the DM has not prepared anything"
silvergamgee 08-05-06, 04:16 PM	47. The character with 12 intelligence who's background has him making mavelous decisions and making tons of money to start. You tell him he can't have 15,000 gp at 1st level and he cries "it's in my background!" 48. The character with 12 intelligence who has a decent backstory but then plays his character like his int is 4. Because hey, 12 intelligence is like a retarded monkey...right? 49. Chaotic stupid people who survive their backstory only to die in the first encounter because of being chaotic stupid.
LCD2YOU 08-05-06, 05:01 PM	50: Any character with the name Druid Acorn. Yes, he is a druid of some indeterminate racial heritage. The reason he is hard to pin down for a race is because he is in the long, arduous process of making himself a mobile, intelligent plant. Has a hatred for all animal life as they feel, "For too long, plants have had to suffer under the oppression of the animals. Animals use plants for food indiscriminately. They use plants to make shelter, heat these shelters and even make weapons of war to smash the shelters of others of their own ilk! Plants must make a stand! WE must use these users of plant life to fertilize the ground for our young!" Hangs out in a moss over grown swamp with radical and blood thirsty moblie plants like Treants and Shambling mounds. Assassin Vines and other more stationary killer plants also line the trails into his lair. Currently PINING away for a Dryad who doesn't hold to his killer ways. Yes, it is true that huge nuts from tiny Acorns grow. :rimshot:
farmboymdp 08-05-06, 05:01 PM	50.) The PC Copycat. The player's too lazy or unoriginal to come up with his own character, so he makes his character just like another PC in the party, or another PC in a previous game. I actually encountered this in a d20 Modern game, the guy created a martial artist who was EXACTLY like one in the game we just finished, except his guy also used a katana (at the same time, my char was a IRA Shadow Ops who used a claymore). His backstory was training in the same monastery as the old monk (he even asked to see the old monk's character sheet to see what feats and skills he would take!). 51.) The Comedian. The character has a few ranks in Perform (stand-up) and tries to roleplay it incessantly. Except the player's not very funny at all. And it's the ONLY roleplaying he does all game. Also, the player insists that the guy owns his own "comedy club"-style inn and keeps trying to bring the other PCs to it. 52.) The Blind Guy. The character's entire backstory is that he's blind, but overcame it over his lifetime. Player convinces the DM to give his char blindight 60 ft. for free (real-life scenario, we were lvl 4, the DM was a pushover). Also plays a wizard so that his talking raven familiar can scout out distances further than 60 feet.
Sphyre 08-06-06, 07:12 PM	37. Anything that invloves reincarnate. Wow... I've never heard of that one before. I think that would be pretty interesting, if it was done correctly. I like the Elan and other such "born again" races for their roleplay potential.
TRCEttin 08-06-06, 07:42 PM	35. "When a mommy [insert random monster here] and a daddy [insert different monster here] get drunk and have a good time together..." I actually got exactly that once as an "explanation" for why a character was a lich with two levels of sorcerer. In case someone posts while I write, I'll edit the numbers in later: 53 - Any backstory that starts by pointing out that the character is of a race or class either specifically banned or totally inappropriate for the setting (kalashtar in non-Eberron campaign, azurins in non-incarnum game, tinker (Warcraft d20 class) in an oriental-themed not-Warcraft game, etc) 54 - Any backstory consisting entirely of one sentence which is clearly only there to allow the character to have some template or feat. 55 - Any backstory with phrases like "Or, I dunno, maybe", "or something" and "Probably something like" sprinkled in it. 56 - Anything using remoteness from a place as an excuse to make the character extremely important to it. (For example a wu jen from a far-away Oriental land who apparently went through an extremely difficult and upper-class wu jen school, graduated with the highest honours and sent on a personal mission from the ruler of the entire continent himself, apparently to sign up with a bunch of other strangers as a mercenary group and wander around poking kobolds) 57 - "So my parents are both epic-level wizards..." 58 - "...It's okay though, I can't ask them for help right now, they're busy schooling some uppity demigods in your campaign setting." 59 - Any character bio which involves the character being declared a saint or god by some higher power for some incredibly trivial act and then soloing Tiamat. 60 - Any backstory where the player declares he has a psychopathic, unexplained and completely over-the-top hatred of one race that will feature a lot in the campaign (elves, dwarves, once I had modrons. Who hates modrons?). 61 - "So I want to play my own homebrew race, and once you approve it I'm going to rewrite the backstory of your campaign setting to suit my character and aggrandize her race, including epic world-spanning events as I please. Also, she hates (common race), because my backstory says they are atrociously evil in this campaign setting."
Cthulhu3125 08-06-06, 07:45 PM	62: (Actually happened in my game). At the start of the first session, I asked one of the players about his backstory. "Uhm... his father was killed. And... he is very polite." There was a brief moment where he glanced sideways before closing that page of the DMG that has the d% table for randomly-generated character quirks.
Starchaserva 08-07-06, 12:57 AM	Ugh, as if I needed more reasons for my least favorite player to get even worse. I know someone that I've had to rp with three times, and he's used three different things off this list, and a combo of some of them too...First he was an angsty loner who hated authority and did everything on his own, then he was the scion of a military family and thats why he should have top rank in our squad and get all the best material, and finally a cleric personally ordained by Pelor to do good, but he was still turning evil for no reason 63 - The Visitor from another Plane. - This guy writes into his backstory that he comes from another plane/dimenstion/world, and uses that to explain why he gets special powers or equipment. Sometimes, this can be cool, but others, such as when the player wants to have guns, and a tank, or wants to play something out of Vampire, or Rifts in your campaign, and perhaps even exepects the DM to convert it.
Encard 08-07-06, 04:28 AM	64. The Same As All My Other Characters. No real background - the character is just described as having the same abominable personality as the player's previous characters, who everyone hated. Gah. 40. The Half giant rogue, 'Nuff said This could be cool, actually. It's not as though half giants have massive penalties to All Things Rogueish, and they're only half giant - big, beefy, and medium-sized. Nothing preventing them from learning to stab people effectively, use magic items, lie well, sneak, etc.
Staver 08-07-06, 08:25 AM	56 - Anything using remoteness from a place as an excuse to make the character extremely important to it. (For example a wu jen from a far-away Oriental land who apparently went through an extremely difficult and upper-class wu jen school, graduated with the highest honours and sent on a personal mission from the ruler of the entire continent himself, apparently to sign up with a bunch of other strangers as a mercenary group and wander around poking kobolds) 61 - "So I want to play my own homebrew race, and once you approve it I'm going to rewrite the backstory of your campaign setting to suit my character and aggrandize her race, including epic world-spanning events as I please. Also, she hates (common race), because my backstory says they are atrociously evil in this campaign setting." * Raises hand sheepishly * Guilty on two counts, with the same character! :embarrass -Staver 8-)
Morka 08-07-06, 02:04 PM	61 - "So I want to play my own homebrew race, and once you approve it I'm going to rewrite the backstory of your campaign setting to suit my character and aggrandize her race, including epic world-spanning events as I please. Also, she hates (common race), because my backstory says they are atrociously evil in this campaign setting." Guilty here too. Except it was the DM's homebrew race, a human sub-race of barbarian with +2 STR & CON and -2 INT, WIS & CHA. I wanted to play a character based on Tyr, from Gene Rodenbury's Andromeda, some sort of exile that end up being the king of that nation, and the whole barbarian thing seemed to work. I tryed to change the background of the whole barbarian land 2-3 times, before having a consensus with the DM. Not so bad, since there was no real history of this area before... 57 - "So my parents are both epic-level wizards..." If it could happen to me, the first gaming session would involve the death of both epic-level wizards at the hand of a powerful demi-god, and the rest of the game the character being hunted down by cultists of said demi-god... :evillaugh 65. I had a level 2 PC who was an elven wizard who best everyone in his wizard college, and as a flaw, he choose he couldn't refuse a challenge... Unfortunately, the game never really started, so I couldn't challenge him with my 10th level Red Wizard of Thay... 66. Any half-orc background involving his mother being raped by an orc. At least, it could be your grand-mother (making you a 1/4 orc with an half-orc stats), or perhaps your father who was raped by a female orc!
LCD2YOU 08-07-06, 02:27 PM	66. Any half-orc background involving his mother being raped by an orc. At least, it could be your grand-mother (making you a 1/4 orc with an half-orc stats), or perhaps your father who was raped by a female orc! Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Substantial penalty for early withdrawal" Ouch.
kelvinaw273 08-07-06, 05:04 PM	30 (real count): The pet character. Usually belongs to an enlish major, aspiring writer, or both. This character undoubtedly has a background 50x more detailed than the DM requested, and is sometimes just a printout of the first chapter of the book he plans on getting published as soon as he finds a publisher that doesn't want to make money. It's always a type of creature that has a large LA or has to be custom made, and has the flurry of a monk, casts spells like a gestalt sorcerer/cleric, gets 14 bonus feats at 1st level, and gets dragon HD instead of his class's HD, among a slew of other things, since "he wrote them into his backstory". Tends to leave after the second session because the game isn't focused entirely around his character. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif Er ... <hesitantly raises hand in the air and looks guilty>
Asperazin 08-07-06, 05:37 PM	10. Amnesia. My character has amnesia, so I don't have to make a character background. (Of course, the first time someone ever does that to me, i'm so going to make them regret it by making their own background, but since they don't remember it... mwhahahahahahaa! I wrote up a background for a character recently, and although I am not a great writer, I was happy with it, and thought I could draw motivation from it. My dm however, after reading the thing I spent half a day writing, said to me, you know what? Amnesia would work perfectly here! I wanted to rip his f'in head off. 67. The LG cleric in my group from the silver flame, whos purpose in life was to "kill 101 evil things." Guh. 68:I also dislike anything that follows the archetype to the T. Example(same player as the cleric): We are fighting a dwarven pirate, the character is a dwarven barbarian. We kill the pirate, and though he was evil, the player is like, I will bury him out of respect for my kin like it says dwarves do in the PHB. We were like :confused: and just continued without him. As we fought and beat many pirates and the boss, gaining 500xp(1st level) he gets 50 for burying the dwarf, and starts complaining on how that is so unfair...made him reexamine his outlook and bg There are about 30 more, a few players in my group aren't the most creative.
TheMeanOne 08-07-06, 07:34 PM	69. The no-thought half-anything: "Both of my parents were half-orcs" "Really? That's neat, how did they meet?" "Um, just lucky"
myusernameis 08-07-06, 08:07 PM	9. The character who was molested in his childhood and thus has developed an acute case of insanity. Has anybody else dealt with this?Guilty, but if it's any consolation I did work out an actual backstory and the details of the character's family so it wasn't the only trait my character had.
a_psh 08-07-06, 08:28 PM	30 (real count): The pet character. Usually belongs to an enlish major, aspiring writer, or both. This character undoubtedly has a background 50x more detailed than the DM requested, and is sometimes just a printout of the first chapter of the book he plans on getting published as soon as he finds a publisher that doesn't want to make money.Also known as a Mary Sue (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue). Even worse in a D&D game because it's a matter of someone else trying to steal the spotlight or the DM's thunder rather than just writing crappy stories no one will read.
Moon-Lancer 08-07-06, 08:48 PM	im so guilty of alot of the things on here. orphen chosen kidnaped mother killed w/ mysterus abandonded father. read about it under terran (shameless plug) anway alot of the ones on here are not so bad. the really bad ones though, are the ones that think good backstory = swags of loot or power
green_yawgmoth 08-08-06, 03:12 PM	Also known as a Mary Sue (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue). Even worse in a D&D game because it's a matter of someone else trying to steal the spotlight or the DM's thunder rather than just writing crappy stories no one will read. Yeah, he was basically a campaign killer. It was even worse because his Mary Sue was also an inuyasha clone. :rolleyes: Ah, the mistakes of a new DM. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Rapidexit 08-08-06, 03:49 PM	70. The uber I have everything character. My mom was a level 20 drow cleric, she tought me all about undead and their weaknesses, and she tought me about all the planes so I know what tifelings and tanari or such things are.. My dad was a level 20 Dwarf wizard, he used wish on me to raise all my stats by +5, and I can breath underwater, and have wings, and he tought me how to identify spells as they are being cast with out a spellcraft roll. My uncles a mighty warrior who gave me his +5 vorporal flame tongue two handed great sword and tought me how to use it even though my class cant normaly wield it.. And my characters a half drow half dwarf with all the racial bonuses of each, and hes a rogue killer who grew up on the streets knowing all the contacts I need so I wont have to roll gather information. and because I grew up with poisons I can handle them with out accidently poisoning myself. ect..ect.. Thoes are the kind of characters that make me want to smack their players with something heavy.
Tristan 08-08-06, 11:21 PM	Any backstory where the player declares he has a psychopathic, unexplained and completely over-the-top hatred of one race that will feature a lot in the campaign (elves, dwarves, once I had modrons. Who hates modrons?). reminds me of a DM whose campain we couldn't play an elf or half elf in because "I just dont like elves"
TRCEttin 08-09-06, 01:38 AM	* Raises hand sheepishly * Guilty on two counts, with the same character! :embarrass -Staver 8-) :OMG! An emoticon that needs no explanation. reminds me of a DM whose campain we couldn't play an elf or half elf in because "I just dont like elves" I've had a couple people like that. One was the one I was referring to with the campaign-rewrite thing above, another was a fellow player in an old campaign I wasn't DMing. He went so far as to make an orc who wore elf ears around his neck and tended to attack them on sight. I rolled a drow paladin. Damn, that went well.
TRCEttin 08-09-06, 01:49 AM	Actually, while it's on my mind - 71: Just Has To Be Contrary Got a player who plays an elf-hating orc? This guy will roll one. Got a paladin? Hello, NE rogue! Bard who's skilled at talking? Vulgar, chaotic stupid barbarian AWAAAY! Nobody knows what would happen if one of the players decided to play an orc paladin/bard who dislikes elves, but I imagine it would make your DM cry.
Burpcycle 08-09-06, 02:28 AM	Me (DM): So, how can your character be both a half-gold dragon and a half-demon if he's a full human and his backstory consists of his human parents being former adventurers... who were human? Him: Uh..
Voran 08-09-06, 03:56 AM	72. The "I don't actually want to take any LA penalties but my character has more background abilities than a half-celestial". 73. The Pimpmaster. A character that makes the stereotype of DnD players not knowing how to act in real life due to no social skills or abilities to interact with the opposite sex. The character is such a playah and horndog, when the player intends to hump any barmaid or whatever in game, and "RP" their "fly" pickup lines.
razorboy 08-09-06, 08:27 AM	74) True Bio: Ran away from home, joined a circus, learned to juggle with knives, left circus. 75) The player who will write 12-15 pages of well-written background and a fully fleshed-out character, but doesn't play in character and forgets all about the background as soon as the game starts. Can be aggravating to the DM, if the DM had prepared encounters and plot hooks based on players' background. 76) Player: "Yeah, so my character was raised as a librarian and scholar" Me: "So why is she a warmage then and has no ranks in any Knowledge or Profession skills?" Player: "ummm..."
OPECOILER 08-30-06, 05:32 PM	77: The person who assumes that just because he knows something in real life, his character does too. I knew someone who had a lot of knowledge about guns and thus assumed his character would be able to make an M16 in a blacksmiths shop. :banghead:
MadMoly 08-30-06, 09:41 PM	17. The orphan. I freaking hate those guys. How the hell does an Orphanage produce that many adventurers any way? Hey, I take offense at that. My current character is an orphan. An egotisitcal orphan. Who was orphaned because he was ashamed of his peasant parents and murdered/disembowled them in their sleep. He is a core Paladin. No, not really... Anyway, 78. The one whos player apparently threw the bio away too. I played with a guy who was running a LG vampire ranger with favored enemy undead. He justified this that he hunted undead before he was changed and he killed the vampire that made him. (at character level 1) This was until he read a real 'leet' PrC of Vampire Lord or something that required X number of spawn. Suddenly, he wanted to have made spawn! How is that even CLOSE to fitting with the character bio?!?!?! MadMoly
Kassil 08-30-06, 10:56 PM	Actually, while it's on my mind - 71: Just Has To Be Contrary Got a player who plays an elf-hating orc? This guy will roll one. Got a paladin? Hello, NE rogue! Bard who's skilled at talking? Vulgar, chaotic stupid barbarian AWAAAY! Nobody knows what would happen if one of the players decided to play an orc paladin/bard who dislikes elves, but I imagine it would make your DM cry. 57 - "So my parents are both epic-level wizards..." Sounds like someone my friend and I introduced. My friend decided that he'd let us run evil characters - so we have a LE wizard and NE fighter - and then she announces that she's going to be a LG priestess. Or when, pointing out that she'd need to work with the group, she made a bard who was a elitist snob and walked away from the opening encounter with her nose in the air. Or when the only campaign rule was 'Extremely intervensionist gods, pick a patron deity, no atheists'... She insists on making an atheist. She's apparently gotten better, but I wouldn't know first-hand - I've quit hanging around her. :p And on the epic wizards, read the next response... 37. Anything that invloves reincarnate. Hey, now. I had a character who had reincarnation in his backstory. And amnesia. And what amounted to an epic-level spellcaster, out in the Outlands of the Outer Planes. He was actually a fairly low-power psionicist; he'd been 'created' by a quasi-deity (the epic caster) who bonded two souls (the reincarnation) together, incarnated it into a young child, and sent it off to a Prime plane. No intervention since - it was a 'clockmaker' type of entity, who puts something together and lets it run to see how it turns out. 17. The orphan. I freaking hate those guys. How the hell does an Orphanage produce that many adventurers any way? As noted, there is the fondness of kidnapping/killing family members among some of the lazier DMs, so that explains that. Anyhow! 79. The person who plays a crossgender stereotype. Seriously, one guy insisted on playing low-Intelligence females and running them as what amounted to Valley Girls. And another one of that group, female, played hulking peabrained barbarians. 80. Half-vampires. For that matter, any kind of half-undead. I can see having undead parts grafted. This does not make one a half-undead the way being grafted to golem limbs makes one a half-golem. I do not understand how people can claim to've been born half-vampire. I know everyone thinks Blade was an awesome movie. That's not an excuse. I know plenty of people love the Anne Rice angst and the whole daywalker concept. Still not an excuse. Play a half-vampire at my table, the good guys will want you dead for being a creature of negative energy. (If you don't flat-out die, given that lifeforce and negative energy don't tend to coexist well.) The bad guys will want you to experiment on and examine. The neutrals won't want to touch you because everyone else wants you dead or trapped.
lousywithnames 08-31-06, 05:05 AM	I've never played a true orphan before (sometimes unconventional family situations, but always a parental figure, if not the actual parent)... at character creation. Despite my effort in always creating at least one living relative for every character, they almost always end up orphans anyway. And the opposite problem: 81. Incest/Twincest.
demonsinmyhead 09-03-06, 05:36 AM	22.) em0s...oh wait you said PC bios! Meh...theyre usually one in the same. roflmfao x999999999999999999999999999999999999 times damn emo kids
Orpheo 09-03-06, 06:29 AM	82. I'm going to be a Jedi. Like my father.
Artisan 09-03-06, 03:07 PM	As noted, there is the fondness of kidnapping/killing family members among some of the lazier DMs, so that explains that. Hey now, I take offence to that. I've kidnapped a player's loved one before, and I am not lazy! It was a Superhero campaign, and one of my players had a 'plucky reporter girlfriend'. I mean, I couldn't just let that go, could I? One must play ti the genre. 83: The 'Switch-Hitter'; the guy that wants all the best things of two completely opposite concepts. I kid you not, I've seen a 'Half-Fiendish Celestial Human'. The mind boggles.
The Amazing Dancing Bear 09-03-06, 03:56 PM	Your players write bios? Lucky fools. I can count the number of actual, original bios I've gotten on one hand. Actually, though, I've had two unoriginal bios that were complete opposites. Edward Scissorhands - I still have this guy. Amazing character. Fell in love with an herbalist who admired his well-trimmed garden. F'lar (Note arbitrary apostrophy) - He ripped the name off from an Anne McCaffrey novel, and he ripped everything else off of Raistlin (who's awesomeness I debate on the grounds that Blackmage Evilwizardington gets better backstory and dialogue). Total bastard as a character. Inexplicable, rules-bending knowledge. (collected bodak eyes and used them to kill people, used mage hand to paralyze people with pressure-point strikes, etc.) He started the character with another DM, and when I started DMing, I spent several months picking up the pieces of his campaign. LE, acted CE, no roleplaying. Still gives me the jibblies.
green_yawgmoth 09-04-06, 05:41 AM	Your players write bios? Lucky fools. I can count the number of actual, original bios I've gotten on one hand. I make my players write backgrounds before they're allowed to play. Makes it easy on everyone because then they have something to go on when they RP, and I have some way to bring everyone together. Also nice for when I want to have a sidequest or something that deeply affects one or more PCs. 's not like I require a lot; one paragraph each for physical description, personality profile, and backstory. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Moon-Lancer 09-04-06, 11:21 AM	17. The orphan. I freaking hate those guys. How the hell does an Orphanage produce that many adventurers any way? This lets them see the worst in life. They know pestilence and poverty. this also lets them have great significant backgrounds in the campaign if the dm wishes. These hero’s don’t have family baggage to deal with, as adventuring life does not lend itself well to having or keeping in touch with families. They have no family except those that they adventure with, this makes them very much sought after in terms of guilds. Voldomort was an orphan. I guess they make good villains too. Batman was a orphan, in his own way. He had no family To worry about dieing, as he prowls gothem. This is also why he is very reluctant to take robin into the fold. Having loved ones around is a weakness that can be exploited.
Mandarbgrim 09-04-06, 11:57 AM	As noted, there is the fondness of kidnapping/killing family members among some of the lazier DMs, so that explains that. So...you're saying it isn't a good idea to have one of the PC's family killed off by his evil twin in a horror campaign I am running...
R99 09-04-06, 01:49 PM	39. An elf lordling who is heir to the greatest elven throne in the multiverse... If I had that character to DM he would have his kingdom taken over and turn against him at the whim of a chaotic CLEVER warlock who would stop at nothing to kill him. Any one who had epic/deity parents would be kiled to get to the parents by an equally powerful being.