1001 Things in D&D Touched by Modern Pop Culture [Archive] - Wizards Community

1001 Things in D&D Touched by Modern Pop Culture [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
BloodMagician
12-31-05, 03:04 AM Imagine an amalgam world of our own and D&D, where technology remained like that of a D&D world, but our modern concepts, values and outlooks remained. I'll start with a few:

1)Atkins-approved trail rations.

2)Dowtuned lutes for Bards.

3)Your party Barbarian is forced to go to anger management class.

4)Wanna buy a new Longsword? Well, there's a background check and a 30 day waiting period...

5)Diet, caffeine free, vanilla lemon flavored potions.
shadowfox628
12-31-05, 04:06 AM - Stressed out at work? Don't have a life? Do you need some excitement in your life? Well "Quest Employment Inc." has a quest for you! One of our many assisstants will find a quest perfect for you! Warning: We are not responsible for death, accidents, "accidents," cursing, hexing, other magic-related things, or damage during the quest.

- Ugly? Can't get a girlfriend? Old? Still playing "Human Warfare" with your friends, and you're 34 years old? Well get one of our spellcasters to cast Polymorph Other on you, and become the person of your dreams! Warning: Not responcible for magic-related mishaps.
yellowdingo
12-31-05, 07:18 AM 6. Toilet Paper

7. Soap
Jodjod
12-31-05, 07:27 AM 6. Toilet Paper

7. Soap

They had those things in Medieval Europe...Ź_Ź
Copper_Coins
12-31-05, 08:50 AM 08: Is your familiar too hard to take care of? Get yourself a Pet Rock!
09: Forget Spellbooks! Wizards now have Laptops, with wireless internet!
10: Is your mount boring? Give it some cool Mags, NoS, and Neon Lights!
11: With the redundancy of Spellbooks, maybe you could use them for stamp collecting!
12: Male Bards, leave your parties and start Boy Bands!
13: Buy your collectible Regdar and friends action figures!
14: One word... Mullets.
15: Can't decide which animal companion to get? Get Sea Monkeys!
16: New! Trail Rations... In PEZ form!

Beware... There'll be more... maybe...
Herald of Jupiter
12-31-05, 10:02 AM 17. Download the latest spells...today! Click here (http://freewizardspells.com)
howlingwolf
12-31-05, 04:50 PM 18. Fed up with those boring, bland illusions? Send your entire stash of gold to us, at spamriddenadvertising@pleasekillusnow.co m and we'll send only the HOTTEST elven babes to your spellbook!*

*And explosive runes, sepis snake sigils, delayed blast fireballs..

19. Via magic mouth of course.. The royal family of Middleofnowhere have recently passed away and left me 100,000,000,000GP. For only 100,000 GP of YOUR money, I too, can share this windfall with YOU who somehow ended up in a complete stranger's will!

NOT A SCAM OR TRICK DETECT MY ALIGNMENT LOL K THX.

20. You sir look like a intelligent trader! Surely you would like to put 5000GP towards the newest adventuring gear for keeping cool? It's.. COOLING ARMOUR! Just like normal armour, but with holes in to keep you cool! What size are they? Well.. Not big enough for any foe to pierce your flesh that's for sure!*

*Note, holes may allow anything smaller than a gargantuan spear to penetrate.
Elkas Saralonde
12-31-05, 05:34 PM We're behind by 2, so...

22. Tired of taking those full-round actions spent reloading your croosbow cartridges? Buy the new, exciting, 'machine gun'! Pick one up at your local artificer, today!

23. Your party's 10th level bard has the Leadership feat and gets groupies.

24. Your party's wizard is sued after copying Bigby's forceful hand into his new laptop.

25. Your party's rogue suddenly dresses in tight black clothes, wears sunglasses, and gets into a building through the roof by means of a line.

26. Your party's artificer has a Tamagotchi cohort.

27. Your party's wilder constantly gets picked on because he's 'emo'.

28. Your party's druid ties himself to trees to save them. Let's hope he knows his trees from his treants and his dryads...
BloodMagician
01-02-06, 03:15 AM 10: Is your mount boring? Give it some cool Mags, NoS, and Neon Lights!

Haha, I love it. "Pimp My Mount."
Kresalak
01-02-06, 03:20 AM 29. The devils realize that they are no longer the incarnations of Lawful Evil- we have politicians now.

30. Transmuters go into buisness as plastic surgeons.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
BloodMagician 12-31-05, 03:04 AM	Imagine an amalgam world of our own and D&D, where technology remained like that of a D&D world, but our modern concepts, values and outlooks remained. I'll start with a few: 1)Atkins-approved trail rations. 2)Dowtuned lutes for Bards. 3)Your party Barbarian is forced to go to anger management class. 4)Wanna buy a new Longsword? Well, there's a background check and a 30 day waiting period... 5)Diet, caffeine free, vanilla lemon flavored potions.
shadowfox628 12-31-05, 04:06 AM	- Stressed out at work? Don't have a life? Do you need some excitement in your life? Well "Quest Employment Inc." has a quest for you! One of our many assisstants will find a quest perfect for you! Warning: We are not responsible for death, accidents, "accidents," cursing, hexing, other magic-related things, or damage during the quest. - Ugly? Can't get a girlfriend? Old? Still playing "Human Warfare" with your friends, and you're 34 years old? Well get one of our spellcasters to cast Polymorph Other on you, and become the person of your dreams! Warning: Not responcible for magic-related mishaps.
yellowdingo 12-31-05, 07:18 AM	6. Toilet Paper 7. Soap
Jodjod 12-31-05, 07:27 AM	6. Toilet Paper 7. Soap They had those things in Medieval Europe...Ź_Ź
Copper_Coins 12-31-05, 08:50 AM	08: Is your familiar too hard to take care of? Get yourself a Pet Rock! 09: Forget Spellbooks! Wizards now have Laptops, with wireless internet! 10: Is your mount boring? Give it some cool Mags, NoS, and Neon Lights! 11: With the redundancy of Spellbooks, maybe you could use them for stamp collecting! 12: Male Bards, leave your parties and start Boy Bands! 13: Buy your collectible Regdar and friends action figures! 14: One word... Mullets. 15: Can't decide which animal companion to get? Get Sea Monkeys! 16: New! Trail Rations... In PEZ form! Beware... There'll be more... maybe...
Herald of Jupiter 12-31-05, 10:02 AM	17. Download the latest spells...today! Click here (http://freewizardspells.com)
howlingwolf 12-31-05, 04:50 PM	18. Fed up with those boring, bland illusions? Send your entire stash of gold to us, at spamriddenadvertising@pleasekillusnow.co m and we'll send only the HOTTEST elven babes to your spellbook!* And explosive runes, sepis snake sigils, delayed blast fireballs.. 19. Via magic mouth of course.. The royal family of Middleofnowhere have recently passed away and left me 100,000,000,000GP. For only 100,000 GP of YOUR money, I too, can share this windfall with YOU who somehow ended up in a complete stranger's will! NOT A SCAM OR TRICK DETECT MY ALIGNMENT LOL K THX. 20. You sir look like a intelligent trader! Surely you would like to put 5000GP towards the newest adventuring gear for keeping cool? It's.. COOLING ARMOUR! Just like normal armour, but with holes in to keep you cool! What size are they? Well.. Not big enough for any foe to pierce your flesh that's for sure! *Note, holes may allow anything smaller than a gargantuan spear to penetrate.
Elkas Saralonde 12-31-05, 05:34 PM	We're behind by 2, so... 22. Tired of taking those full-round actions spent reloading your croosbow cartridges? Buy the new, exciting, 'machine gun'! Pick one up at your local artificer, today! 23. Your party's 10th level bard has the Leadership feat and gets groupies. 24. Your party's wizard is sued after copying Bigby's forceful hand into his new laptop. 25. Your party's rogue suddenly dresses in tight black clothes, wears sunglasses, and gets into a building through the roof by means of a line. 26. Your party's artificer has a Tamagotchi cohort. 27. Your party's wilder constantly gets picked on because he's 'emo'. 28. Your party's druid ties himself to trees to save them. Let's hope he knows his trees from his treants and his dryads...
BloodMagician 01-02-06, 03:15 AM	10: Is your mount boring? Give it some cool Mags, NoS, and Neon Lights! Haha, I love it. "Pimp My Mount."
Kresalak 01-02-06, 03:20 AM	29. The devils realize that they are no longer the incarnations of Lawful Evil- we have politicians now. 30. Transmuters go into buisness as plastic surgeons.