Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Chaos_Infidel 08-23-06, 10:02 PM	Please keep all the annoyances numbered. And remember to make sure they are all things you can do as your character. 1-Ask for an exact physical description whenever you encounter an unknown species.
AnonymousInternets 08-24-06, 03:01 PM	2. Gave my giant owl exalted campanion have Bill Cosby's voice.
Rickiel 08-24-06, 03:26 PM	3: Save the world yet again for unselfish reasons. This seriously ticks off DM's that have a very fatalistic/emo/etc. view on life in general. And you save the world...with a Disneyesque songs all along the way :)
CedricBrooks 08-24-06, 03:32 PM	4. Crawl down and Ankheg hole wearing nothing but your pants so that you can fit, just cause you want to see what's down there, and end up dragging the whole party down. And ending with being chased out of the hole, ending with the party pulling the fighter who startedt he mess out with a rope cause he can kill an Ankheg on his own, he just can't climb up the hole.
Whisper_Swiftblade 08-24-06, 04:28 PM	the second you get a wish spell wish that all things in existance including yourself would no longer exist and remained noexistant forever, your DM will go nuts trying to corrupt the wish so that it is worce for you, and does not end his game.
DonJuanDemarco 08-24-06, 04:35 PM	6. Instead of going on the mission the wizened old man in the bar suggests/requests, try your damndest to get one of the barmaids to come up to the room with you and your companions. 7. (While playing a bard): Everytime you meet someone new, spend about ten minutes recounting you and your party's amazing deeds. This may also annoy fellow players, though. 8. Poison the food or drink of NPC's for absolutely no reason at all. Or, actually, any NPC killing for no reason.
metamind 08-24-06, 04:54 PM	9: Kill every NPC you see, because you think it is a shapeshifter.
Crimson_Concerto 08-24-06, 05:03 PM	Ways to **** everybody at the table off: 10) Be the one evil character in a party of good characters. 11) Sunder equipment, knowing that was supposed to be important treasure. 12) Keep lying to the other characters. "I didn't see any traps there, I swear." For this to work, you max out bluff and make sure you have good CHA, so that even if players know your character is lying because they saw you make the search roll and heard the DM's response, it would be metagaming not to believe...
Echo_that_Pains 08-24-06, 05:06 PM	6. Instead of going on the mission the wizened old man in the bar suggests/requests, try your damndest to get one of the barmaids to come up to the room with you and your companions. LMFAO!!!! Yup, did this one time. It was so hilarious. The DM finally gave in and ran with it. DM: "FINE! You take the barmaid upstairs and do your thing. You come out a bit later to rejoin the party". ME: "well that was a pretty generic response on the matter! what happened in there? cause ya know when i said "come up to the room" i meant more than just have a glass or water, or share a tale!" DM: "You know what you did in there! lets get back to the game" ME: "We are in the game and YES i know what i did, but i want to make sure that you know what happened because it could be a campaign-direction changing experience!" *15 minutes later after explanation* DM: "What do you all want to do now?" Party: "Lets go see what this old man wants." ME: "I want to take the barmaid back up to the room, a different one this time though. That last room had a bug in it and it was annoying. Not only that, but i have not seen housekeeping up there to take care of the situation since we last left and going back would just be gross!" DM: "......................................." *DM leaves for a smoke break* It was classic! After that last part the entire party was rolling in tears laughing so hard!
Fatalis_902 08-24-06, 05:52 PM	13) For a great way to annoy the DM, be a wizard with an obscene intelligence stat, and put max ranks in every knowledge skill. 14) To annoy the DM further, burn every piece of paper that you come across, be it a notice board in town, a book, or a note handed to you by an NPC. 15) To annoy everyone at the table, play out the sound of your armor as you walk along. See this old Order of the Stick for details: http://giantitp.com/comics/oots0024.html
NeoRaven01 08-24-06, 09:22 PM	16: Completely ignore quests to go sailing/fishing IC. Works best in a desert or the like.
spectralphoenix 08-24-06, 09:42 PM	17. Play a Frenzied Berserker. Kill the BBEG. Kill your party. Watch them roll new characters. Repeat.
bitswordmaker 08-24-06, 10:04 PM	18) In my DMs world, and in my world, if you say "Oh God." in character, you get a random roll to see if you actually get a god. Best way to use this to annoy the DM is have your character say it several times over and over and over and over and over and over... 19) Get several god grants on one character so it becomes a nigh unstoppable force. 20) Be one of those characters who always manages to find a way into deep trouble, dragging the rest of the party into it. 21) Be one of those characters who always manages to worm their way out of situation.s 22) Use a combination of 20 and 21
Kyant 08-24-06, 10:29 PM	23) Play a paladin and detect evil all the time. Next campaign (or if you die) don't play a paladin, but continue to say "I will detect evil" your DM will be so used to you having that he will tell you if you do or not. This works great and is huge laughs when the DM finally figures it out!
Maythor 08-24-06, 11:00 PM	24) Every time you walk in to an inn, you ask...Who is looking at your armor, and what are thier reactions. Guilty, and it drives my dm nuts.
Starchaserva 08-24-06, 11:24 PM	25) Run for your life...from everything. Be it BBEG, random encounter, or even talking to the bartender. Every encounters results in your entire party executing a tactical retreat, while screaming like girls.
CPAtheFat 08-24-06, 11:24 PM	25) Cast "Stone to Flesh" on every statue you see. 26) Pray a monk character, totarry Olientar, and leprace arr youl R's with L's AND vice versa. *apologies in advance to anyone insulted* 27) Ask for the measurements of every female character encountered DM: A harpy comes flying at you Player: How big are her ..... :eek:
Splendide 08-25-06, 01:55 AM	28) Attempt to negotiate with everything (Bard) 29) Attempt to bribe every guard (Rogue) 30) When you're on watch and the camp is attacked, rush off to defend the horses! (Ranger) 31) Infer that your devotion makes you better than every NPC in the game (Cleric or Rogue) 32) Give up and go home when you run out of obvious doorways. 33) When in dungeons, run everywhere and carry a battering ram.
X-Codes 08-25-06, 03:40 AM	34)Be a male cleric of Eilistrae, just so you can goggle at your holy symbol all day.
DonJuanDemarco 08-25-06, 04:27 AM	35. Eat/drink EVERY bit of food, drink, or potion you find. Do so immediately. 36. Pick a new outfit from a huge selection of clothes every day for the first 15 minutes of the morning. 37. Change your mission from"what the DM wants us to do" to "take over this entire town and make ourselves its kings"
babysamurai 08-25-06, 04:40 AM	If a genie grants you a wish - write down everything you could possibly want on a piece of paper, hand it to the genie and say “Make everything on this piece of paper true.”
CaoSlayer 08-25-06, 05:04 AM	39) Play a kender
katarl 08-25-06, 07:00 AM	40) Play a necromancer-esque character, and keep alluding to every NPC and PC that you're gonna kill them, then raise them as undead. I love this one- done right, it can creep everyone out (as long as you keep undetectable alignment on). Works better if you are neutral and aren't actually going to do it. 41) Insist to use drow/elven/gnomish in every rp, and call the rest of the party nasty-sounding (but actually innocent) names. Laugh when they look at you blankly. 42) Tell the dm that instead of killing the BBEG, you'd rather deal subdual damage to him and put him on trial, and of course attend said event. Since he has to roleplay both barrister and judge, he'll be doing nothing but talking to himself.
Dei 08-25-06, 08:13 AM	43) Sing, loudly and often about anything and everything worthy of note. Disney is a great source of inspiration for this one. 44) Use glue, a lot, on everything, yes, even those things.
Kainsin 08-25-06, 08:26 AM	45. Come up with a phase consisting of at least 10 words that your character says every time before he attacks or casts a spell. 46. Constantly misprounounce the names of places and NPCs. 47. Have your character always speak in 3rd person. 48. Have your character always speak in 2nd person. 49. Try to psycho-analyze the BBEG and find out what his mother and father did to him as a child that would cause him to want to destroy the town/world. Do this in lieu of fighting. 50. Psycho-analyze other PCs and NPCs at random times.
R99 08-25-06, 09:10 AM	51: Sing a particular song, for lyrics of particular song, check Metamind's sig. do this despite low cha/ranks in perform. insist on hiring people to do the music in the background and replicate the scene as accurately as possible. 52: Use prestignation... LOTS.
LCD2YOU 08-25-06, 11:05 AM	Correct #54: Play as you the player would react if you were in the dark, terrifying dungeon, smelling the rancid air that has the putrid stench of the last band of hapless adventures that died in there a week ago. Probably something like the "run screaming like little girls".
Nyxi 08-25-06, 01:43 PM	LMFAO!!!! Yup, did this one time. It was so hilarious. The DM finally gave in and ran with it. DM: "FINE! You take the barmaid upstairs and do your thing. You come out a bit later to rejoin the party". ME: "well that was a pretty generic response on the matter! what happened in there? cause ya know when i said "come up to the room" i meant more than just have a glass or water, or share a tale!" DM: "You know what you did in there! lets get back to the game" ME: "We are in the game and YES i know what i did, but i want to make sure that you know what happened because it could be a campaign-direction changing experience!" *15 minutes later after explanation* DM: "What do you all want to do now?" Party: "Lets go see what this old man wants." ME: "I want to take the barmaid back up to the room, a different one this time though. That last room had a bug in it and it was annoying. Not only that, but i have not seen housekeeping up there to take care of the situation since we last left and going back would just be gross!" DM: "......................................." *DM leaves for a smoke break* It was classic! After that last part the entire party was rolling in tears laughing so hard! Oddly enough, this kind of thing happens in ALL of our games. It's been accepted that whoring is a viable way of making coin, and if you've got to much money, you ***** yourself for innane sums of money. Like 2 silver. It's even better when both characters involved are PCs, charging, and the CE, female warlock that disguises her evil with a valley girl accent and a monk outfit, gets knocked up on the Wilder's third attempt. Of course, later the kid get's killed by the half dragon Cleric, but whatever. Time travel does NOT Screw with things. not if you do it right. #53 Ignore the plot. Utterly. No matter how many hints the Dm Drops, insist on finding out what's under that random rock, and behind that tree, and behind that door. The longer you keep it up the redder her face will get.
Stormbrand 08-25-06, 01:55 PM	54 or 55, whichever: Be a really good tactician. Always ask 'Flanking' and 'Cover' and check room for a reach weapon. Even worse, since this character was a paladin military thinking was appropriate.
Shaggy_Shaggs 08-25-06, 02:14 PM	#+1: Play a powerful goblin PC as completely unaware of his exceptional abilities, as if he were as fragile and weak as people expect goblins to be. Obsess over keeping your AC high, your cover up, your distance long, and concealment available when possible, retreat the moment things get hairy. (OOC): Downplay it or change the subject when the DM protests that each of the other PCs has taken more damage in a single attack than your character has over the course of his entire life.
draco1119 08-25-06, 02:40 PM	58) Play a dwarf. Drink a lot. Ask if you get bonuses to hit/damage/skill performance, etc. Repeat evry town.
Moon-Lancer 08-25-06, 09:06 PM	(59) any time something new comes up in the game, you tell the dm you put your face in it. wells, slime, ozzes, mold, smull puddles, dark holes, magical portals, bags, open doors, ozzes, your new monster friand, anything glowing or twinkly/sparkely. I played another player that did this. It was a warforged with abismaly low wisdom. I guess he got all cocky with those imunities. He actualy made it all the way to level 5, and then it just wasent fun anymore.
hollow_ghost 08-25-06, 09:46 PM	60) Roll an "Allergy check" while sneaking with your party.
Xerxal 08-26-06, 05:30 AM	61) Ask to play a hermaphroditic dwarf fighter named "Herm'Aphrodite" 62) (along with 61) Construct a miniature for Herm'Aphrodite using a small box of raisins and drawing the "hermaphroditic distinction" on the raisin lady. (I'll never look at her the same way again) 63) Have Herm'Aphrodite rape the orcs that the party kills 64) Rape the fallen guardsmen defending the town against said orcs 65) Rape the dire weasels from a random encounter 66) Rape any party member that dares to fall asleep or unconscious around Herm'Aphrodite 67) Attempt to rape the 9 hill giants that the DM sends smite you (we were level 1) before being destroyed sooooo utterly that the miniature and character sheet dies with you 68) Justify by saying you were only trying to stay in character (Note: That player didn't join us in the next session)
zvbxrpl 08-26-06, 11:57 AM	69. Make a little sketch of every monster you encounter during your first round of combat 70. Put ranks in profession (cook) and insist on using every monster/new plant you encounter in dishes. 71. (for a dwarf) Insult every beardless NPC. 72. Use anything from the BOVD...ever.
WhiteRaven810 08-26-06, 02:24 PM	3: Save the world yet again for unselfish reasons. This seriously ticks off DM's that have a very fatalistic/emo/etc. view on life in general. And you save the world...with a Disneyesque songs all along the way :) The evil is strong in this one yes. 73. Demand pets. 74. Name your character "Extreme Bucket Man". 75. Name your ship Tugg'r (from South Park) and sing the song every half hour. 76. Demand anime-purple hair for your Painted Elf.
DonJuanDemarco 08-26-06, 05:29 PM	77. Max out in Craft (cheescake) and Profession (cheesecake delivery boy), and every time you get to town, spend all of your time making and delivering cheesecakes instead of tyring to move forward with the campaign. I had a player who did this. definitely annoying.
DonJuanDemarco 08-26-06, 05:30 PM	78. If you're ever in the desert, go on a long, tedious search for "A horse with no name"
Xavon_Wrentaile 08-27-06, 02:02 AM	79. "Bluff, bluff, bluff the stupid ogre!" 80. Play any other character from any comic in Dragon. 81. Get the whole party to do #80, and mix your comics (image OotS if Roy's LG/Rational character were replaced by Yeager from Nodwick). 82. End all of your sentences with "In accordance with prophecy" if talking about something good for you, or "as is the will of the gods" if talking about anything else. 83. Play a warforged sorcerer who specializes in polymoprh. Only ever assumed the form of a self-powered cart. Refer to it as your "vehicle mode".
ShadowDragon8685 08-27-06, 05:24 AM	84. Become attached to and emotionally vested in random NPCs that the DM in passing mentions a character trait your character is attracted to. Make him come up with background and personality to them. (Guilty.) 85. (Playing as a female character, mind.) Refuse to kill the BBEG's female apprentice. Give no further explination why. Insist on trying to redeem her to the side of Good/Light. Succeed, and go to absurd lengths to prevent any relapses on her part. (Also guilty.) 86. (Still playing female character.) Have your character become emotionally involve with the apprentice from 85. Try and get the affections returned. (Guilty - and yes, it worked. :P ) 87. Play as the Captain of the group's ship, by both mutual understanding and the fact that you have the majority financial stake in the ship, and by that I mean majority by a wide margin. (3/4ths or more.) Act as a Captain would, and do not tolerate crew mutiny. (Actually, this one backfired on me when the soldier kept calling for clam when I ordered him to relieve the mutinous crewmember of her firearm (which later turned out to be a LASER PISTOL (Note: Extremely big-bad no-no-no don't-have-this-or-feds-bust-down-your-door-and-don't-ask-questions illeagal) and when I tried to do it myself (at gunpoint) she choose to quickdraw, survived my first attack (which I got off since she did not have the Quickdraw trait) and then killed me with two shots because she burned Plot Points/Action Points to go ahead of me in the initiative roll.) (Guilty.) 88. Complain to every NPC healer, cleric, doctor and quack about terrible hemmeroids that just won't stop coming back. (NOT guilty.) 89. Quote Serenity/Firefly whenever possible, especially when not playing a Serenity game. Do so in Mandarin Chinese if at all possible. Watch everyone go bonkers trying to figure out if you just cussed out the king in a voice that sounded polite, or if you wished him eternal prosperity. (Also not guilty.... Yet.) 90. Use magic to create hard vacuum inside a BoH, and fill it with alchemist's fire in uncontained liquid form. So much so that the contents are under pressure. Give this "present" to anyone you hate as a gift, watch their faces melt when they open it. (Not guilty... Yet.)
Strudel_Lumpycakes 08-27-06, 06:55 AM	85. Make knowledge checks… about everything. 86. Whenever it appears that an important NPC is about to dispense a plot point, attack him. 87. Be a monk, and refuse to wear clothing. 88. Be a bard, and max out ranks in perform(sheep tossing) 89. If you find a magic item smaller than your fist, attempt to eat it. 90. Try to pickpocket everybody you pass. Ranks in slight of hand are unnecessary. 91. Interrupt NPCs in mid sentence, and ask for sexual favors. 92. Be a bard and demand to sing in real life while your bardic music ability is active. 93. Burn down every building possible. 94. Whenever your Dm snaps and tells you to cut it out, become overemotional and defensive, claiming that you’re “just roleplaying your character”.
HauptSin 08-27-06, 10:46 AM	95. As an Assasin: Play LE, and act as a friendly member of the party on a quest for some item, then murder the entire party in their sleep when it's your watch once the item is obtained. 96. Play a character with ranks in Profession(Coffinmaker), and ask the DM of the height and width of random NPCs, so that you can have your character verbally calculate what size of coffin they would need, and what styles they might prefer.
Illithid_Tentacles 08-27-06, 11:05 AM	83. Play a warforged sorcerer who specializes in polymoprh. Only ever assumed the form of a self-powered cart. Refer to it as your "vehicle mode". This is gold.
HauptSin 08-27-06, 11:15 AM	97. Play a Paladin and, using magic items, make yourself Invulnerable, then teleport yourself to your hometown when in grave trouble, leaving the rest of your party behind.
DonJuanDemarco 08-27-06, 02:45 PM	98. Play a female druid. Talk to the people th DM has put in the inn just as background. Buy them drinks. Hit on them. Get them to invite you to their house. Have your fighter friend and animal companion followm you to said house. After everyone is sitting down, enjoying a nice drink and conversation, have animal companion burst down door. You and your friends kill EVERYONE. (This was pulled of by two player in a game I was DM'ing, and trust me, I was furious).
Optimator 08-27-06, 06:56 PM	97. Play a Paladin and, using magic items, make yourself Invulnerable, then teleport yourself to your hometown when in grave trouble, leaving the rest of your party behind. Heheh, I laughed.
tharivol266 08-27-06, 09:27 PM	99) die and then blame the DM. continuously
TheTaintedRose 08-27-06, 11:42 PM	#100: Play a character who constantly introduces themself by a different name for every group or important person they meet(sometimes it helps to have a high rank in bluff for the characters to believe thats your name). Eventually the DM will begin to forget which NPC's Know the character by which names. Its very amusing.
Hilbs_Rilgins 08-28-06, 02:46 AM	101. Play a character who has an extremely obvious fetish with feces. Censored for your sake.
draco1119 08-28-06, 06:43 AM	102) Have a character with insanely high STR and low INT carry several sacks of flour. Go around tossing flour randomly to "check for invisibility." Speaking of checking for invis: In 2e Skills & Options, Thieves could have that as a class-based ability. Is it still possible in 3.5? I know it isn't in any core books, is it anywhere else?
Jayr 08-28-06, 08:26 AM	103) In a mystery campaign, take one rank in every knowledge skill. Whenever something you don't understand appears, roll all of them.
metamind 08-28-06, 10:24 AM	104: Play a character with maxed-out ranks in Proffesion (organ harvester), and try to sell the organs of slain enemies, In the open-air market and to major NPCs. While playing a paladin. 105: Play a bard named Lil' John, who's vocabulary is limited to "WHAT?", "YEAH!", and "OKAY!".
R99 08-28-06, 11:34 AM	Wrong thread sorry ignore
oxybe 08-28-06, 12:47 PM	106 ) true neutral barbarian! apathetic rage! oh the joys of saying: "i am seething with generic non-specific rage against no particular individual within the vacinity." it's a wordy battle cry, but one people tend to remember. especially if followed by a VERY unenthusiastic "rawr". all lowercase rawr. in every battle. remember to say it in an uninterested voice, as if you really don't want to be here or it's really a bother. mid battle, or after a particularly nasty critical, say "hurry up, i just want to finish this irrelevant battle and eat my sandwitch" if anyone says ill of your sandwitch or need to eat said sandwitch, go frenzied berserker on them. enemy or ally. no one disses the sandwitch. 107 ) be half orc bard with low charisma & VERY high strenght, then try on every piece of full-plate you can find and ask if it makes your butt look big. at all the shopkeeps. make sure you threaten them so they tell the "truth". continue this with every patron in the shop. and everyone you meet in the street. and party members. even the BBEG. with every new armor you buy (which happends to be every town you visit). 108 ) venerable gnome fighter with cursed gloves of -X str. in full plate with tower sheild. and a backpack full of raw meat. every time your character dies. same guy, diffrent name. sometimes mix it up by changing the gender. give him names like "rocky" or "clump". "wulfbait" is a fine last name 109 ) attempt to jump up and kick the ground. get as many - to attack modifiers as possible to your attack. tell your DM you want to make an attack roll. if you miss, ask the dm if missing the ground is the same as flying. as often as possible. 110 ) speak all your inner monologues and think all your speech. then pantomime it, and let the players figure it out. 111 ) if you ever meet a catfolk make your character yell: "KAWAII! NEKOMIMI CHAN!" (roughly translated, "Cute! a little Cat-Girl!" yelled in japanese. say this regardless of the targetedNPC's gender) run up and cuddle up with the catfolk (read bearhug). it's half-funny the first time, and annoying all the others. be sure to make the character an ogre or half-ogre, or any other large/very big race. just because. it's even best if you do this within a catfolk village. to every catfolk you see. if the dm decide to plays along, ask if you can have an intimidate check rolled, due to the catfolk being chased by an 8-foot hulk. 112) eat every plant you see. good, bad, ugly or part of a treant, eat it.
zvbxrpl 08-28-06, 01:26 PM	107. Play a Derro or otherwise insane race. 108. Two words: Pyromaniac Kender. 109. Strike up a conversation with every NPC, no matter how minor. 110. Be a Tainted sorceror/Tainted warrior and describe in excruciating detail all the disgusting ailments your character has. 111. Be a necromancer that tries to animate each and every dead foe, ally, and even PC. (I DMed for this guy. I hope never to repeat the experience.) 112. Compete with every other party member for treasure, even if you can't use it. (Same guy.) 113. Justify 111 and 112 by saying it is in accordance with your evil alignment. (Still, same guy.)
NeoRaven01 08-28-06, 07:28 PM	114: Introduce your character to ever NPC he meets with his lineage. WTite this out OOC and so you can do it in character. 115: Do above with a non-conventional lineage such as going by your uncles.
IndiaEdgehill 08-29-06, 01:34 AM	116: sing "we're off to see the wizard" from the WIZARD OF OZ any time you go somewhere. Even the bathroom. (did this. my DM hates it)
Kassil 08-29-06, 05:48 AM	34)Be a male cleric of Eilistrae, just so you can goggle at your holy symbol all day. 117) Make a character with maximum Charisma. Then play it as an asexual with Asperger's Syndrome. Argue with the DM that the succubus (or incubus) can't attract you because you're not interested and have difficulty with social concepts.
Delfedd 08-29-06, 11:17 AM	I am vaguely insulted by that.
CyperionTheShadeBlade 08-29-06, 12:09 PM	Me to. 118) Play a Cleric that Blackmails the entire party for healing. In the middle of combat. With someone at negatives. WARNING! may also make other players hate your guts. played with a guy that did that, as revenge the minotaur monk feed him horsefood, without telling him until afterwards. the cleric died shortly afterwards because of Complete Warrior. everybody where immensly happy.
ressurrector 08-29-06, 02:48 PM	119) Try to cast charm person on another PC. With everyone watching you Without either Silent or Still spell In a group where every single character has ranks in spellcraft He died shortly thereafter.
Joel 08-29-06, 05:08 PM	120)Insist that your character will attempt random climb checks on the walls of the dungeon when everyone else is trying to take on the mummy in the middle of the room.
Kassil 08-30-06, 12:52 AM	I am vaguely insulted by that. This would be where I apologize, and note that: 1) I am an asexual, and test as being not quite an Aspie. 2) My not-quite-girlfriend is an asexual aspie. So, it isn't meant to insult - merely to annoy the DMs who feel the need to throw 'OMGSEXY' things at the group. ;p
Caliborn 08-30-06, 10:56 AM	Asexual meaning what? You reproduce through Mitosis?
CaptainStrong 08-30-06, 05:12 PM	I think my dad did that once.
Kassil 08-30-06, 07:04 PM	Absolutely. I'm a hypersentient amoeba. Really. :rolleyes: I'd suggest Googling it, or going here (http://asexuality.org), but the discussion of it has no place here, I think, aside from the occasional poking-fun-at remark like my way to annoy the DM.
Magus Gar Kan 09-05-06, 01:41 PM	123. Cast Dance of ruins (BoVD) in the middle of a market just to kill a merchant and steal the Everfull Mug he had on display.(FYI really happened and DoR causes 2d20 damage to everything in a close range burst, 2nd level spell)
coppro 09-08-06, 08:45 PM	124. If you're in the very top of a high tower, and the NPC present insists on going back down (despite the Charm Person spell - doy), get all the rope you can find, and then lower everyone down, except the wizard. The wizard unties the rope (at this point, the DM then asks, "You go down?" very expectantly), and jumps out the window. As he approaches the ground, the transmuter uses Sudden Shift (PHBII alternate class feature) to gain a fly speed and land gently.
Meshakhad 09-08-06, 09:06 PM	125: Rather than do the quest the DM prepared, create your own. For instance, if there are any evil temples within range, ransack them, thus forcing the DM to create a temple layout, stats for the clerics, and treasure. 126: Be prepared for anything. Some DMs (like my current one) are very smart. Others are not so. A clever and well-prepared character can outwit the DM.
coppro 09-08-06, 09:46 PM	Ooo, just remembered this one. 127. When fighting a vampire, open the curtains (hilarious. He got so :censored when he realized it was midday. I think we were supposed to run from that encounter. Unfortunately, that set us back a significant amount as far as treasure was concerned.)
thadastardly1 09-08-06, 10:22 PM	128. Remind the DM about one particular skill your character has ad nausium DM: You come across a tomb, the architexture- Druid: I squint my half-elf eyes and try to survey the surroundings. I have a spot of 18 DM: Thats great. The door- Druid: Is the door old, like it has been here for a long time? Or moldy like there was water damage? I have an 18 to spot (knowing full well its a search check). DM: I get it. As you all enter, suddenly there is a roaring sound. Druid: I dart my eyes toward the sound, I have- All: 18 spot, we know!! Yeah, maybe this doesn't exactly apply to this thread but.. well, I thought it was hilarious.
Tarvok 09-09-06, 02:11 AM	Ugh, I couldn't get through this thread; most of these suggestions are in *stupid* character, or not in character at all (wish the universe out of existance?!) But, sure, I'll number mine. 129. Sing off key constantly. 130. Refuse to be heroic when your DM gives you a cue to be heroic. 131. When playing a gallant (2nd ed), every time you enter a tavern, say "While these guys are doing the real work, I'm going to tumble a barmaid..." (works better if DM is religious)
Moon-Lancer 09-09-06, 03:27 AM	132: use your worst skills more often then your good skills. In charicter, brag about how well you preform these skills, and try to show off. when you fail, say you must have a cold or something, and that tomarrow they are in for a real treat.
Krompt 09-09-06, 04:29 AM	Works Rather good when playing with Brothers 133- Have one Brother play a female Character who is related to the other Brother's Male Character and have the Male Character constently refer to the Female Character as "Your My Brother!" (it worked, I saw this done myself, after about 20 minutes of this the DM forgot the PC was a female and started refering to everyone in the party as all males)
katarl 09-09-06, 06:28 AM	134. Be a necromancer and slowly raise PCs as dread warriors under your control- they can still be PCs! 135. Insist on bringing your shiny new zombie gray render with you on every adventure. 136. Corpsecraft said gray render. 137. Tell the paladin that he'll soon be joining *your family*
WeZil 09-11-06, 03:04 PM	138. Make a lawful evil half-orc Cleric of Gruumsh, and put him in a situation where he is with other assorted adventurers, but don't make him openly hostile to the other characters. Ensure that in battle conversations proceed as follows. Fellow Adventurer: "That last hit took a real chunk out of me. Cleric, I need heals!" Lawful Evil Half-Orc Cleric of Gruumsh: "Shut up, you pathetically weak infidel." Also ensure that every pre-battle tactical conversation goes something like this. Rogue: "Alright, we have a chance to take them by surprise. Order of the Bow Initiate Guy/Scout, sneak as close as you can and try and get a power shot on their leader, perhaps we can stun them and give us a cha-" LEHOCOG: "I charge headfirst into the battlefield, shouting a battle-prayer at the top of my lungs." Doing this will annoy everybody without making yourself completely useless or breaking character.
Chrono Nexus 09-11-06, 10:03 PM	139: Deliberately ignore any and all potential story hooks and always leave story arcs incomplete. When he tries to make you play the game "the right way" insist that he is trying to railroad and stop speaking.
oxybe 09-12-06, 09:19 AM	140: have 1 rank in every knowledge check, no matter how obscure. roll any that might seem vaguely appropriate at every house, cave, temple, monument, legislature building, castle, even some people of quasi-importance. it's even better if you have a high rank in every knowledge check. call said character "En Cyclopedia". 141: give your character ADD. make the character a halfling called "Fidget". no matter what the DM tries to explain, have Fidget go off and do something annoying (look up the queen's dress, pants a lord, pee on a knight's boot, yell obscene things to elder wyrms, steal things in plain view, ask a completely off the tangent question during critical plot points, ect...).
Kozeljnik 09-12-06, 07:27 PM	142: play a poet/skald. running commentary in the thick of battle? you bet! for extra flair, sound like you've overdosed on Robert E. Howard stories/Bal-Sagoth lyrics. example from To Dethrone The Witch-Queen of Mytos K'unn (The Legend of the Battle of Blackhelm Vale) by Bal-Sagoth: I turn aside a vicious swordthrust and my own blade snakes out to cleave the neck of the attacker, shearing through his veins in a shower of dark red. An enemy blade opens my shoulder to the bone, but I sweep my axe out in a deadly arc, its iron head rending armour and biting deep into flesh. Talus Ebonfyre's abdomen yawns open and he staggers back as his intestines spew forth in a pulsing mass. I sunder his head with another blow as he falls and his skull yields to spill its steaming contents to the earth. said while doing just that, and delivered with an unnervingly calm voice. do this all the time, even when standing in a barn/at the court of a king/hanging from the Tarrasque's nostril (like in DMG II)
Piggyfreak6 09-12-06, 08:22 PM	143. Don't use any magic item ever given to you. (sounds stupid but my PCs do it. I HATE it.) 144. Grapple everything!
Urzza 09-12-06, 11:32 PM	144) Know more about the things he shows you than he does. (Lets see, a 15'x15'x15' cube of stone is weighs...)
Lord_Varos 09-13-06, 12:29 AM	145: Attempt to copulate with every creature you fight/defeat. This is best for a Lawful Evil character who feels insecure and must assert himself passive-aggressively through forced conjugation. Your Dungeon Master will get very sick of it fast, and will expedite your character to slain-ity. Once the character dies and you roll up a new guy, he can easily follow in the footsteps of his "father". "Father" meant either figuratively or literally, depending on history and preference. This sort of ravishment is punishable only by long a talk from the DM. After such, act morose and put-out at the table, feeling like your character is ruined. The DM will feel guilty and sad. Then you strike! Your character may now freely have sex with any one character in the game because of the pity of your DM. Make it the Tarrasque, and then break it to him the three months later that you are pregnant. And have herpes.
Righter8 09-13-06, 01:23 AM	Not sure if these have been listed, so I won't number them... Barbarians - Although most party members seem to know it, sometime you specifically need to tell the barbarian PC that a Familiar IS NOT the wizards "extra rations". Made a tasty breakfast though. Bards - Insist on announcing yourself wherever you go. "Hail to thee! I am Klebba the Musical! Perhaps you've heard of me?" Most undead will reply "No". Cleric - Giving sermons to the PCs every morning. While understandable, it gets old listening to one player ramble on about the great *insert Diety's name here* for 20 minutes every game morning. Druid - Insist on burying every creatue killed. Regardless if it was trying to kill you. Regardless if you are in the middle of a dungeon carved from the bedrock of the world. Gripe and reprimand anyone who damages anything in nature "Argh! You're killing the grass! Stop stepping on it!" Fighter - Every time the DM starts to describe an encounter, interrupt by simply saying "I charge!". Monk - Name all your attacks. While this is excellent roleplaying in my opinion, most people aren't going to want to listen to you say "Super monkey ball dragon flying ocelot windmill fire fist!" everytime you attack. Also, while not neccesarily IN CHARACTER, no one is going to want to hear you sing "GO! GO! POWER RANGERS! as you move your miniature across the grid. Paladin - Haven't met a paladin PC who wasn't annoying. Ranger - (see Druid, above) Suck up all the XP by "scouting ahead" so they can find the Monsters first, killl them solo, then act like nothing happened when they go back to the party. Rogues - Search everything twice. I mean EVERYTHING. See that 120 foot long hall that is 10 feet wide? Ever inch of it twice. Hey never know where there may be a trap. Sorceror - Brag constantly how you NEVER run out of spells, while the wizard is always cringing in the back becuase he memorised the wrong spells today. Complain about how unfair it is to have such a limited choice of spells. Wizard - Fireball the Barbarian for cooking and eating your familiar, along with the rest of the party, including yourself, because everyone is sitting within a 10 foot circle eating breakfast. Continually remind the sorceror that NEXT level you can get some of the neat spells I have now.
The_One_True_Boris 09-13-06, 01:29 AM	146ish) Get another PC to play your twin brother,, an assassin, while you play a paladin. Bicker constantly and at inappropriate times. The other PCs get a show and the DM tears his hair out while you stall his campaign. And if your DM tries to make your paladin fall for associating with an assassin, tell him you're trying to redeem your twin brother that, despite his trying to murder you as a child, you love dearly.
Saberus 09-17-06, 05:37 AM	147(?) - make a Gather Information on EVERYTHING, commoners, nobles, statues, rocks, horses, carts, cows, Monsters especially. What good is Gather information if you never use it? 148(?) - play a CN fighter that is a brawler, insist that you are not human/demihuman, but a nigh-unknown PAIN ELEMENTAL!!!
UndeadMouse 09-17-06, 10:35 AM	160: (rogues) - do not disable any traps. just point them out as you pass them. (i did that once, it drove everyone nuts because i also was the mapper)
epifreak 09-18-06, 01:05 AM	161. Primarily for rogues or bards, but anyone can try. Upon entering a large and prosperous city. (Large is nice, not necessary. Prosperous is necessary.) Begin putting that rediculous bluff and diplomacy to use. Start up a cult. Make up a diety whose faith requires the surrendering of all material possessions to the hierarchy before working for 10 years in a sweatshop owned by the cult. This will lead to greater enlightenment, and while all those other fools are burning in the rage of <insert fake deity name here>, your followers will be living in paradise.
The_One_True_Boris 09-18-06, 02:01 AM	Epifreak, I don't think D&D's Core pantheon would appreciate your bard establishing Scientology.
epifreak 09-18-06, 03:46 AM	It was a rogue, actually.
The_One_True_Boris 09-18-06, 04:52 AM	And that rogue has forever earned the emnity of Xenu!
Saberus 09-20-06, 09:46 PM	162 Refer to the local lord as "that dumb, fat, hairy piece of (insert insanely long stream of silly expletives here)", and run screaming out of town, cackling "The clouds! The clouds are trying to eat me!" EVERYONE will think you are either high off the sugar (?) or just F***ing Nuts!
grok_grok 10-04-06, 10:24 PM	#57 maybe - try and rape your entire party for non-lethal demage This works really well if you got a religious party member that wont let the rest of your party kill you
Grey_Herald 10-05-06, 10:28 AM	:D We actually did the whoring thing in one game, but it was actually a half-orc wench and the two halflings in the party double-teamed her. It was by far the nastiest thing I'd ever heard before, and I will be so kind as to not repeat anything that was said in the course of said double-teaming. 164 - Play a kobold barbarian that thinks he's a dragon. And have him tell everyone he meets this fact, as well. "I'm a dragon. Rawr." 165 - I had a friend tell me about this one. Play a 17th level or higher Telepath, and turn yourself into a sandwitch. Permanently. Preferrably in the middle of combat with the BBEG, too. (It's legally possible, too. :) Buy a sandwitch and an item that lets you manifest Greater Metamorphosis, and manifest Greater Metamorphosis on the sandwitch. Turn it into a frog. Then, manifest True Mind Switch with the frog. Once the duration on Greater Metamorphosis is up, bingo! You're a sandwitch! Forever!)
User5127 10-05-06, 11:30 PM	166 - insist on casting sleep at every opportunity so that you can put the creatures in comprimising situations (IE get all the Guy npcs naked and lying next to eat other, etc... use you imagination) 167- insist on doing that to all groups of defeated enemies 168 - go epic with your wizard and during a failed expiriment go crazy and just start nuking things 169 - refuse to heal any one when playing the cleric, in fact start healing the enemy. for no reason.
Killtron9000 10-06-06, 06:47 AM	170 - Take perform(unspeakable acts) and use it whenever possible 171 - Play an evangelist with the full tv revival send in 20 dollars for your own personalized prayer voice 172 - As an evil/neutral cleric attempt to bolster your companions. 173 - your character hates witches but is a little unsure of what a witch is, constantly accuse people of being witches, pick up a rock from the ground and declare it your witch finding rock, if you hit something with the rock then it is definately a witch. 174 - Play any character that can summon stuff and name her reida repulsa, only summon the weakest thing possible.
Gahread 10-06-06, 09:13 AM	140: have 1 rank in every knowledge check, no matter how obscure. :raises hand: Guilty. I used to play a MUD that required you to get blessed weapons to hit the undead. While asking my then-girlfriend about 3.5 rules, she told me that all you needed to do to hit undead was whack them. Less than a week later, my 10th level one-shot party ran into a ghost. Naturally, I attempted to flank and sneak-attack it. :twitch: I had everything up to and including human-bane arrows, but ghost-touch? Nope, you don't need anything fancy to hit undead! Later, an ooze slurped under the door to where our party had barricaded ourselves halfway through a dungeon, too beat up and spell-drained to continue. I took my nicely magical longsword and sliced away. Turns out that some oozes can dissolve items, even magical ones that fail their saves. Also turns out that slashing weapons can make oozes very happy. The NEXT character I made had a starting 20 intelligence and at least a +6 starting bonus in knowledge-everything. The first non-HHH and bag of holding item I got was a headband of intellect to raise that even higher. "Sooo.... we're facing a ______, huh? I'm going to use WHATEVER knowledge is applicable, because I have all of them, and I'm going to see what my character knows about this thing." Factoids like "kobolds love to make traps", "zombies are so slow, they take twice as long to perform the same action" and "Now that you think about it, that symbol looks a lot like the one for _____ noble house/god/clan" began to emerge with startling rapidity. edit: Oh, and that girlfriend? I ended up marrying her, and she was the DM I ended up inflicting the walking encyclopedia upon.
Leo 10-07-06, 03:12 PM	In my party, it's my DM that seems to like to annoy people. He hardly gives us any clues of what to do so we just wander killing stuff and trying to get richer and stronger. 175-Summon monsters and kill them, then ask your DM for experience. 176-Do the oposite thing of what your allies ask you to do. During batle. Especially during battle. Even more especially if you are the only one capable of performing a certain job. 177-Pick pocket everything you see(guilty). 178-Shred all dead enemies to little pieces trying to find treasure. Then keep the meat and eat it when hungry(guilty). 179-Buying a dozen goats and using them as a shield against surprise attacks. 180-When an enemy is uncoscious, make a coup of grace and say you're offering a sacrifice to your god. 181-Challenge a dragon for a race 182-When being a DM, make sure to fill the plot holes of your characters history with obscene details, like you don't knowing if your father is the king or the mailman or the butler or the cooker... 183-Also as a DM, make every NPC suspicious and smart-talking. 184-ALWAYS try to make merhcants sell cheaper. Put all kind of arguments forward. Like acusing them of being of the mafia for such outrageous prices. Also, some hilarious moments: When speaking to the roped werewolf: PC:My sorceror points him the finger and threatens to kill him if he doesn't say what we want DM:You take 1 d3 of damage from bite attack PC:I'm sick of this character! It runs away till he dies! DM:Your long lost twin brother appears to your party. I has -1 constituition.
Otto the Bugbear 10-08-06, 06:09 PM	Some of you may have seen this before, but this guy (http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html) has an extra 775 to add to the list. Cheers Otto :)
MaximumPain 10-09-06, 03:38 AM	the second you get a wish spell wish that all things in existance including yourself would no longer exist and remained noexistant forever, your DM will go nuts trying to corrupt the wish so that it is worce for you, and does not end his game. Poof you are gone roll up a new character.:mrt:
Arameas 10-09-06, 08:28 AM	20) Be one of those characters who always manages to find a way into deep trouble, dragging the rest of the party into it. 40) Play a necromancer-esque character, and keep alluding to every NPC and PC that you're gonna kill them, then raise them as undead. I love this one- done right, it can creep everyone out (as long as you keep undetectable alignment on). Works better if you are neutral and aren't actually going to do it. We have a chara in our dungeon who does just this... always runs off on her own. And whenever she casts an area effect spell that would kill us... just says. Don't worry I will just raise you again. 185 . (still same person) Eat everything you come across. Even if it happens to be giant slug worms eggs.
Stev Beren 10-09-06, 09:02 AM	If a genie grants you a wish - write down everything you could possibly want on a piece of paper, hand it to the genie and say “Make everything on this piece of paper true.” That one is EASY. . THe paper suddenly has on it: "True true true true true true true true true. . ."