Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Savenger 08-18-06, 01:52 AM	well as the name sugests it is all about things that you learned the hard way. (by yourself or with help) 1. gravity!...before going into a pit (which turned out to be 300 feet deep) always remember to tie off first.
Darkuwa 08-18-06, 02:12 AM	2: Don't put on a belt a half-fiend gives you
Shaggy_Shaggs 08-18-06, 02:15 AM	3. There are two Pseudonatural Creature templates. Do not engage the funky-looking chipmunk until you've ascertained which version of the template it's using! *grumbles about a lost arm, a cracked skull and a punctured lung* :nonono:
KyussWren 08-18-06, 02:16 AM	4: Don't hit on the DM's hot mother, sister, brother, daughter, son, grandmother, or other relative during the game, or... usually any other time. Goes double for the DM's spouse.
LordHawkeye 08-18-06, 03:06 AM	5: If you don't know what the magic item does, DON'T FIDDLE WITH IT!!
Mitchell 08-18-06, 03:47 AM	6) Dragons in 3.X are a LOT tougher than they were in ADnD. :)
PaddyPaddyFool 08-18-06, 03:55 AM	7) Re: 5 - if the magic item happens to be wearable, don't put it on! (Actually this happened to a friend of mine, but close enough). 8) If you are the DM, it's a good idea to actually look at the character sheets of every player in your game, not just take a verbal description of the character. 9) Confused party members can still pass will saves to break out of a hold person spell and then chop your head off. (Didn't like the character anyway, but still).
InterSilva 08-18-06, 04:02 AM	8). Large, floating black orbs are not for touching, unless you fancy a fight with a beholder. This is especially true when you are a frail third level sorcerer aspiring to Necromancy. :(
gorfnad the shiznit 08-18-06, 04:55 AM	I guess 10) Treat all kobolds as a threat because of Races of Dragon and other books, the DM will be able to effectively give kobolds levels in very destructive classes/prestige classes! 11) Always make sure your mount/familiar/animal companion has decent saves 12) Remember to heal undead, not harm them (an oblivious friend of mine just had to be the cleric of the party) 13) Have someone in the party take notes on what the dm has said and what is happening 14) You can never have too many potions/scrolls of Cure X
Darkuwa 08-18-06, 05:00 AM	15: Don't read novel's during the game(Unless its your DM's first published novel, then you get 500 bonus XP)
InterSilva 08-18-06, 05:01 AM	My post was misnumbered. That said... 17) Letting any of your fellow gamers get drunk while gaming is a really bad idea. At best, it leads to a pass-out and one less gamer. At worst, the DM presses the "reset" button after the session ends.
Khyberblade 08-18-06, 09:47 AM	18) Dire boar+charge = Roll a new character :(
SolenVlos 08-18-06, 09:52 AM	19 - don't EVER enter portals that were not created by party members. this can only result in muder, death, kill, or fiend possession.
Boshi 08-18-06, 10:27 AM	20. Con is not a dump stat. 21. It is not fun to play characters with higher than 9 wisdom.
NinjaE 08-18-06, 11:07 AM	22: Break the glass BEFORE you jump through a window. Otherwise, it'll just land on you. Broken glass is SHARP. 23: Poodles aren't a very useful weapon against otyughs.
soul_knife4359 08-18-06, 11:28 AM	24. No matter how high your diplamcy check was, that red dragon is never going to go out of his way to aid your party.
UndeadMouse 08-18-06, 11:32 AM	25: just because it is rotting, moves slow, and moans about brains, does not mean it is a zombie.
Robert_Fox_Kitsune 08-18-06, 11:34 AM	25) It's not a "cute widdle piggy" its a large, very %^$$%£%$ off, boar that skewered my Rogue 26) Neither was the next one
Kavu Overlord 08-18-06, 11:35 AM	21. It is not fun to play characters with higher than 9 wisdom. I really hope you meant LOWER. 27. If you can pray for spells, DO IT. 28. If you are a healer, DON'T charge HEADLONG into MELEE with an OGRE SIX LEVELS HIGHER THAN YOU (other party member *facepalm* 29. It doesn't matter if you ARE a druid, your animal companion still doesn't nessecarily LISTEN to you. 30. Using only melee weapons is a BAD idea. 31. Bull rush on a rickety bridge= bad.
Sar 08-18-06, 11:50 AM	32. Beware kobold mounted on war dog wielding a lance... That crit will hurt... a lot... 33. If you are trying to recover in order to destroy an evil artifact, do not try to physically take it from a big baddie even if said baddie appears to be lost in some mystical trance/ceremony... Sar
Rhuxley 08-18-06, 11:57 AM	34. ) ALL helpless women trapped in dungeons are succubi or erinyes. ALL of them!
Hustler One 08-18-06, 12:01 PM	35: Never store barrels of gunpowder and alchemist fire near eachother or under your bed.
Anaesthesia 08-18-06, 01:21 PM	36. NEVER stick your hand(or other body part) in a Torch you don't know where it's been or came from. (A little note:in one game, our all powerful and STUPID captain decided to stick his hand in a torch on a wall. It happened to be a trap torch and burned his hand off. Let's not forget he was also trying to retrieve it with his OTHER hand.) 37. If you're a druid, please DON'T send your animal companion to fight ANYONE larger than it. It will die like no tomorrow and it's a waste of a companion. (In another campain the druid decided to send its compainion (a cheetah) to face off a zombie dragon. IT DIED.) 38. Don't pick fruit off vines you don't know/didn't plant. It could be an assasin vine. (In *another* campaign the wizard decided to pick grapes off a vine. It killed him.)
Aterum 08-18-06, 02:03 PM	39. Do not throw rocks at the Illithid who resurrected you and has since joined your party. It makes him cranky. 38. Don't pick fruit off vines you don't know/didn't plant. It could be an assasin vine. (In *another* campaign the wizard decided to pick grapes off a vine. It killed him.) The grape or the vine? :eek:
Anaesthesia 08-18-06, 04:48 PM	40. Don't hold someone you rescued hostage (and therefore 1st to go anywhere). It only makes them angry and therefore can turn the party on you. The vine killed him. After we sufficiently killed the vine we took the grapes and sold it. ;) If I remember correctly the DM was saying the vine had the best grapes to make wine with, but not many people went to go get the grapes because of the assasin vine. I think he also said that it was in one of the Monster Manuals (sorry don't know which one he was looking at).
Herald@Large 08-18-06, 05:24 PM	42. Never trust a chortling DM. 43. Never forget your dice, your PHB, or your character sheet. 44. Never say "I can't possibly miss/fail!" You will. 45. Be careful what you wish for. You might get it.
tizonacampeador 08-18-06, 05:28 PM	46)No inanimate object can have writing on it for purely aesthtic reasons. They're always runes those runes are always painful.
InterSilva 08-18-06, 05:46 PM	47) Some players will never read the rules completely, no matter what. Be prepared to correct them about their chracter's abilities every 20 or so minutes.
Aterum 08-18-06, 05:53 PM	48: It's not a good idea to set fire to a coffin that someone just put grenades in.... unless you're a former favored soul who wasn't paying attention to the druid who put the grenades in the vampire's coffin because you were too busy picking with your boyfriend! THEN YOU DESERVED TO BLOW UP FOR 19 DAMAGE AND I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL! :evillaugh
Orion_II 08-18-06, 06:08 PM	49. Be sure to cast Detect Magic/Evil/Hair & Eye Colour on any gold statues you find. 50. Never blame the Dwarf when you're an Elf in a Dwarf City. 51. Be sure to have at least 4 castings of Invisibility Purge ready at all times.
Drodain 08-18-06, 06:20 PM	52.) Never laugh at the DM for having beaten his challenge easily. 53.) Don't brag to the DM about anything you have done, can do, or will do.
nimrodii 08-18-06, 06:28 PM	54. If you were suposed to make a rougish character to "handle the traps and locks" put ranks in open lock and disable device, possibly even search, I was glad when he got smashed by that large humanbane club for a crit. This wasn't me, but it was a lesson learned.
Soldier_for_Hire 08-18-06, 10:13 PM	55. ALWAYS remember what spells you have prepared, can use and have used already. It could make that really hard encounter easy and the easy encounter as the DM intended it to be. 56. Never walk down dark tunnels that you can't illuminate.
Grendor_Hagortough 08-18-06, 10:58 PM	52. Yes, traps do reset... flamestrike... ouch
Moon-Lancer 08-19-06, 12:30 AM	57: Don’t ready an action to attack the next moving thing that walks through the door. really, don’t, its always a good guy, or a comrade, or a innocent bystander. UNLESS your are 100% sure its a badguy. 58: dont steal from the king and hit on his daughter while his is in the room. 59: dont THAT cool. If you do, you might just find a bbeg who is cooler then you.
ElIsRa 08-19-06, 04:10 AM	48: It's not a good idea to set fire to a coffin that someone just put grenades in.... unless you're a former favored soul who wasn't paying attention to the druid who put the grenades in the vampire's coffin because you were too busy picking with your boyfriend! THEN YOU DESERVED TO BLOW UP FOR 19 DAMAGE AND I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL! :evillaugh 60. Never play with couples, especially when you, yourself, don't have a girlfriend.
X-Codes 08-19-06, 05:00 AM	61) If you attempt a crime, get caught, and start getting the crap beat outta you by two rangers, DON'T pull a knife! They dual wield! (Seriously, that rogue was so lucky the druid was there to pull his ass outta the fire...)
Rafe_113 08-19-06, 12:30 PM	62) Never say "Not a one" as you drop the dice. It can, and thereofre probably will, be a one. 63) The big guy asleep in the corner? Leave him alone. 64) Never, EVER, pick a fight with the Drow ranger you see while traveling the north. (I did that...without thinking..... Those of you who know which Drow I'm talking about are shaking your heads right now. And yes, I rolled a new character.)
E. Ravenwood 08-19-06, 12:35 PM	65) Casting Defensively (yeesh)
gorfnad the shiznit 08-19-06, 01:00 PM	66. You can never have too many daggers 67. Always carry a quaterstaff with you, it has many other uses besides fighting. 68. You can never have too much rope 69. Never cast alarm on a camberpot
WarColonel 08-19-06, 03:07 PM	70. Never read anything a PC/DM hands you. Especially never read it aloud. Unless someone else reads it first. (This is why Exploding Runes is the most loved and hated spell in my group)
Kurtulmak 08-19-06, 05:01 PM	#71. Running along the same vein as #70.. Never read anything, anywhere, without first casting Detect Magic. If it pings, burn it with fire. #72. If you've somehow managed to recover an enemy mage's spellbook, you should probably check it for traps before opening it. #73. When dealing with ancient puzzles, don't give an answer, wrong or right, without first being very certain of just what will happen when you do. #74. "Pretend to be captives" is NOT a viable infiltration strategy. #75. Pushing buttons randomly on any device is not advisable, but especially not when they were created by someone who was obviously insane. #76. If you are, for any reason, on a shore being fired upon by a fleet of fully armed battleships, you should not directly engage them in combat. Not even if you're a psion who's decided to go nova. Just, no. #77. The random and otherwise pointless NPC you met in the woods isn't really random or pointless. He is not simply out for a hike. #78. Splitting up to explore the crypt/basement/cave is never a good idea.
WarColonel 08-19-06, 05:41 PM	79. Don't prod, poke, push, pick up, touch, break, disintegrate, geas/quest, dominate, talk to or vigorously shake stuff. And by stuff, I mean anything. And by anything, I mean magical items/creatures in conveniently located areas. Especially when the DM knows you like to vigorously shake stuff.
Boshi 08-19-06, 06:17 PM	I really hope you meant LOWER. 27. If you can pray for spells, DO IT. 28. If you are a healer, DON'T charge HEADLONG into MELEE with an OGRE SIX LEVELS HIGHER THAN YOU (other party member *facepalm* 29. It doesn't matter if you ARE a druid, your animal companion still doesn't nessecarily LISTEN to you. 30. Using only melee weapons is a BAD idea. 31. Bull rush on a rickety bridge= bad. Nope I mean higher. I don't care for playing casters much in general and doing irrational stuff is what makes D&D fun :) However I've got to avoid charaters that dump wis and con, those get painful... 80. If the DMs asks you if you want to go ahead of the party to scout, NEVER EVER do it.
speeblefreak 08-19-06, 07:07 PM	81. If your DM is a fast thinker, don't metagame a monster's stats out loud. 82. Do not jump into unknown phenomena of any kind, particularly if the phenomenon in question makes slurping noises. 83. If you discover a from of ice that is the equivalent of a liquid nitrogen bath, do not create ice shrapnel. 84. If you are in a cave with large, unsteady icicles, do not jolt the scenery. 85. Do not combine 83 and 84. If you need to ask why, you deserve the death you will soon receive. 86. Even if you can pick a fight with Elminster and win, don't. His title doesn't end at "Chosen of." 87. If the DM got a new monster book yesterday, do NOT tick him off! :eek: 88. Do not use a magical item that has been known to spawn hostile golems, particularly if you are a wizard with 21 hp.
Lunar_Shadow 08-19-06, 08:11 PM	My post was misnumbered. That said... 17) Letting any of your fellow gamers get drunk while gaming is a really bad idea. At best, it leads to a pass-out and one less gamer. At worst, the DM presses the "reset" button after the session ends. http://www.enworld.org/showpost.php?p=2539869&postcount=44 Or you may have a full cavity search from a giant.XD 89. Never try to light a forest on fire to kill Grigs, especcialy when they can use pyrotechnics. *Grumbles about being blinded, a dart in his arse, and the unconcious rouge*
Rhomphaia 08-19-06, 08:36 PM	90) The elven princess does NOT want to see your wang. 91) (again on the ***** jokes) Never get a viper familiar and keep it in your pants simply for the possible puns. The resulting swelling is not the good kind. 92) If wind blows out your torch, do not try to light it with an alchemist fire. 93) Never fly if you have even the slightest suspicion the enemy you face is a caster. 94) Urinating on the glowing, extremely hot rock just might be a bad thing. 95) Eating hot dogs and chili about two hours before a game starts results in either an aborted game or the game quickly moving outside.
Darth Sephiroth 08-19-06, 08:51 PM	96.) Delayed Blast Fireball makes a great distraction, just avoid any room with the wod Powder in the name when positioning it
CPAtheFat 08-19-06, 10:44 PM	97) Just because the first pool of murky water you ever saw contained lots of gold pieces, does not mean the second pool of murky water you see contains lots of gold pieces (and not an otyugh) :eek: 98) Falling into the first murky pool of water you ever saw containing lots of gold pieces while wearing chainmail and almost drowning does not mean that you should strip off your armor before diving into the second pool of murky water in order to swim better while hunting for lots of gold pieces (instead, finding an otyugh) :weep: 99) A rat is a rat is a rat ... unless its a wererat :devil: Absolutely LOVE DMing a complete bunch of noobs. :evillaugh
Marvos 08-19-06, 11:34 PM	100. 1st level rogues don't go toe-to-toe with zombies. 101. Never trust the gnome 102. The swirling, misty, green portal is not a gateway to a magical land, it's a flesh disolver
hollow_ghost 08-19-06, 11:40 PM	103) Never Ever try to be a Mystic Theurge. You will never reach Fireball. Sadly true... :( 104) Never complain to your DM about having never cast a Fireball. 105) Never attack a window. My friend almost killed himself with the impossible amounts of natural 1s and amazing rolls on the critical table. 106) Never mess with the naked and tied wizard, even if she/he doesn't have Still or Silent spell. There is always a familiar nearby poised to strike where it really hurts.
StrangeGuy 08-20-06, 12:07 AM	107) Always bring a lightsource with you. 108) After defeating the demon, don't pick up the Scythe he was wielding. (At least I survived, unlike the other two party members :D )
speeblefreak 08-20-06, 01:44 AM	108) After defeating the demon, don't pick up the Scythe he was wielding. And that goes for the scythe-wielding skeleton, too. 109. A lethal dagger that gives visions of balrogs every ten kills will probably do something BAD at 100, so don't speed up the process by poking ants.
Alisair Longreach II 08-20-06, 04:14 AM	101. Never moon a Lich.
Ragix 08-20-06, 09:59 PM	110. Don't read the sheet of paper the wizard gave you. 111. Don't respond to the creepy-voiced telepathic message with "HI!" 112. Don't trust a DM who routinely uses betrayal as plot hooks. 113. Don't throw a rock really hard at the glowing light in the distance. (Seriously, one time in a campaign the party saw a glowing light in the distance. One of the party members, my brother, throws a rock at it. DM asks for an attack roll. He rolls a 20. He hits it. It, a lantern, explodes, and the girl who was holding it was incinerated completely.)
FiestFan 08-20-06, 10:38 PM	114. Don't say 'I'll position myself here, away from the door so I can shoot the [baddies].' "Here" is invariably right next to the secret door. 115. Don't let everyone use that amazingly useful new magic item the DM described in great detail, at once. It will be cursed. You will need a new party. :ahem:
tiercel 08-21-06, 02:15 AM	116. At least one significant NPC is not what he/she/it seems to be, and will turn on you at an opportune moment gloating in how you served as a "foolish pawn." 116a. It's not the one you think it is. 117. If you enter into single combat with the BBEG and he utterly owns you in one round, reducing you to near death while hardly taking a scratch, and then he gives you the option to run away -- attacking him again in the next round might not be such a good idea. 118. Whenever you concoct a careful and elaborate scheme to lure your enemies to a specific spot in order to ambush them, DO wait for them nearby the advertised spot to set off your traps and readied attacks. DON'T go to sleep waiting for them in exactly the place you advertised you would be. 119. If, when entering the lowest level of the dungeon/the inner sanctum of the BBEG/the sealed-off crypt/any other place with an equivalent amount of boxed text, you discover it is apparently inhabited only by a pale little six-year old girl in a white shift with a slightly blank expression: RUN. (This is generically true for small children who appear in an incongruous location and who appear in any way slightly creepy.)
PhaedrusXY 08-21-06, 03:38 AM	120: Always carry Rope, a Dagger, and a ranged weapon.
Chaos_Infidel 08-23-06, 09:51 PM	I strongly agree with "Rule #5: If you don't know what the magic item does, leave it alone until you do". However, if you are role playing a character with low wisdom, feel free to fiddle away unless a "character" with sense states otherwise.
Diplominator 08-24-06, 12:36 AM	121: "Flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing. Oops.
Dorian_Dragen 08-24-06, 03:41 PM	122) If you're a swordsman, always carry a morningstar as backup or you will be ****** when your DM throws nothing but Skeletons at you. 123) If you're a Gnome, never whip it out and **** on the Elven sailor. The ship's wizard may lighting bolt something important. 124) Don't ever proudly proclaim "I can do that!" You will undoubtedly fail and in some horrible and gruesome fashion.
Dorian_Dragen 08-24-06, 03:52 PM	This happened to our party 125) Don't complain to your DM about him giving his wife a +4 defender rapier at level 4, hey he needs to get some too.
GnomeBarbarian 08-24-06, 04:36 PM	126.) When an NPC you are escorting is constantly getting sick and his con is draining. Dont trust that the Rogue who just joined the party(PC) is actually your friend cuz later the sorcerer in your party will be sneak attacked without warning and the little Gnome Barbarian will have to save everyones ass.
Rickiel 08-24-06, 04:40 PM	127: Never quote anything from the Matrix trilogy. The DM will respond to the quote with one from Lord of the Rings and you will be, in a demeaning way, pwn3d.
bitswordmaker 08-24-06, 08:14 PM	128) Never, ever, ever touch a Shard of the Bastard. 129) Never, ever, ever, ever **** off the god who's Shard that is afterwards. 130) Never, ever, ever, ever, ever ask this evil god's enemy for help, when you've been forced into becoming the evil god's paladin/assassin (Rules exception). It just does not work. 131) Mushrooms are bad... in any form... 132) Never trust anyone who carries around a dagger, whose very metal is a venemous green. Particularly if the person in quest refers to this dagger as Assassin's Friend. 133) A blood red shortsword is bad. Do not even attempt to touch it, for it will kill you. Hence the name Red Death. (Stupid people >.>) 134) If you're evil, an electric blue katana named Evilsbane, is not for you. 135) If a scythe named Metsubou Gai in the Ancient Tongue, translates into "Destruction Scythe" it's not to be fiddled with. 136) Black roses are poisonous. 137) An acid green drink called Bargewater, that is known to knock Dwarves out in under a mug, should not be drank unless you are of the Clergy of Pestiss 137) Though scentless, an incredibly dark purple liquid, which is also know to knock out Dwarves with ease, should also not be drank. 138) Mixing of these two drinks is very, very, very, very, very bad. Unless you are being chased by a Shadow Giant, and you stop, pretend to have a part, and dupe him into drinking one right after the other. 139) If you're a samurai, reading anything demonic is bad. 140) Do not give your mind to a god, your soul to a devil, and your body to the Drow. (stupid mind flayer) 141) Do NOT use a fireball on a ship, when you're in a room full of barrels labeled "Everburning Fire." (Greek Fire) 142) Tiamat hates it when you kill one of her heads. 143) If it has stalagmites and stalagtices at the entrance, and an odd stone inside, that is rounded at near the opening, and runs back into the hole, it's not a cave. 144) If the kobold is weilding a greatsword, don't stand and fight. 145) Even if you are an Epic Psuedonatural (just to clarify which template) Three headed (Minotaur, Troll, and Gray Render) Barbarian, an orb that is pitch black, hovers about five feet off the ground, and starts sucking you in, is bad! 146) Drinking all of the Tarrasque's blood is bad. Particularly when it regrows inside of you... and you're only a Medium creature.... when it's Collosal.... 147) Never touch the golden edge of a gateway... never. 148) If someone shoots a bar of almost blinding white light at you, MOVE! 149) Que maps are useless... (Que- made up race, similiar to Kender, but smaller, more childlike, shorter attention span, faster {+8 Dex}, has one phobia, and one thing they will do anything to get ahold of, if holds an item longer then ten seconds, it's a family heirloom, also incredibly curious.) 150) If running at really high speeds, never run into an orc butt, when the orc weighs almost 2000 pounds. You will die. 151) Liches do not like it when you cast Holy on their temple. 152) Do not touch anything on a pedestal, or in a glass case. It will be trapped.. or worse, have a gaurdian who will whoop your ass. 153) In DnD, lasers are bad, no matter what the color. 154) Physics do not always apply when fighting high lvl casters, or any lvl channelers. 155) It is not the right time to tell the BBEG that he fell into your trap, when you're hanging from the ceiling by your undergarments. 158) Go ahead, believe Xandra, the goddess who had a 7 year old child put back where it came from, with the head sticking out so it could talk to her, and is known as the most perverse of gods and peoples, is your friend. I dare you. 159) DM is always right, and there's always a reason for it, even if the DM doesn't think of one. 160) If a 13'6" human with blood red hair, and pitch black irises, who also goes by the name of Bit, hands you a sword, or dagger, you are now his pawn.
Straylight 08-25-06, 04:55 AM	161. Never jump-start arcane rituals. (damn Rogue) 162. Spilling blood in a closed magic circle is usually bad. (damn Rogue) 163. Spellcasting in a closed magic circle is also ususally bad. 164. "Impenetrable" isn't. 165. "Secure" isn't either. 166. Do not taunt anything with teeth bigger than you are. (Damn Rogue) 167. From 500 feet up, there is very little difference between water and stone. (damn Rogue) 168. If you stumble across an ancient ritual chamber, do not imitate the carvings and statues on the walls. (damn Rogue... these are all the same Rogue, by the way) 169. Do not obey the spider-shaped shadows on the walls. They're up to no good. 170. Do not strike deals with evil gods. 171. Likewise, do not strike deals with evil creatures seeking to become gods. (damn Rogue) 172. When the giant, angelic statue tells you to take the spear, take the friggin spear! 173. Beware any sword that uses its wielder's own blood as a source of power. 174. This is a world of portable holes, extraplanar gateways and spheres of annihilation. If it looks bottomless, it probably is. Do not jump in "just to find out." (damn Rogue) 175. You aren't as sneaky as you think you are. 176. You aren't as clever as you think you are, either. 177. The Vampire that lives here doesn't need security systems. He is the security system! (damn Rogue) 178. If the DM hands you an item that should be waaayy out of your league and has a very specific purpose (such as a Staff of Passage to a 12th level character), chances are he's trying to give you a hint. Take heed. 179. Never accept gifts from evil demigods. (damn Rogue) 180. Yes, having a plesant sitdown dinner with one of the Lords of the Abyss fulfills the "friendly interaction with a demon" Blackguard requirement. Paladin take note! 181. They travel in pairs. 182. Petty thievery is not a good excuse to put off saving the world. (damn Rogue) 183. If it's cute, fuzzy, and harmless-looking, it can probably eat you. 184. Never listen to the voices in your head, dreams, or food. (damn Rogue) 185. Never startle triggerhappy Sorceresses. (damn Rogue) 186. Never hold a grudge against said triggerhappy Sorceress because you startled her and she blew you away. You got what you deserved. (damn Rogue) 187. Carrying said grudge over into real life is not a good idea, particularly when aforementioned Sorceress is played by the DM's girlfriend. (damn Rogue) 188. "Rambo" is not a valid playstyle. You got what you deserved. (damn Rogue) 189. I don't care how cool you think you are, you can fanboi over the drow ranger later. (damn Rogue) 190. Hitting on a Rogue 7/ Shadowdancer 8 is not a good idea. 191. Particularly not when her 35th level mother is around and she already doesn't like you. 192. Kicking open the door of her room while carrying breakfast-in-bed and shouting "Good Morning, Sunshine!" will not, despite its inherent charm, endear you to the triggerhappy Drow Sorceress. 193. ...Okay, apparently it will. Nevermind. 194. Confirm the origin of all prophetic whisperings before acting on them. (damn Rogue) 195. If you find animals constantly watching you with too-intelligent eyes, shoot first and ask questions later. 196. If the dashing, heroic, I've-survived-everything-and-done-it-with-style Elf whispers something heartbreakingly final in your ear before throwing himself into a horde of unstoppable monsters to buy you the time you need to escape, don't linger; escape! 197. If it scares the epic-level patron of the party, run. 198. "Just an illusion" isn't. 199. Poetry is never a good thing. Anything that rhymes should be killed with fire before it detonates on its own. (my personal favorite: "'They say Siberys has twelve moons, they say Eberron has many dunes, but you don't care as you tend your wounds, for you've just read explosive runes.' [DM's Note: 6d6 damage, no save, for you. Reflex DC 15 Half for the people sitting on either side of you. Have a nice day! -Stray]") 200. It's a trap.
NinjaPenguin 08-25-06, 05:24 AM	201: Dragons can grapple, even if they don't like to. 202: It will always take longer than you thought. 203: You will never be as prepared as you'd like. 204: 3 kobold fighters with spiked chains in a mountain pass are a threat. 24 normal kobols at the top of that pass are deadly. 205: If they give you back your equipment, you should be worried. 206: Only dare your DM to kil your character when you completely specify the parameters of the challenge. (i.e. within 4 challenge ratings of me) 207: Last adventure's vampire is this adventure's new party cleric. (Fun with changelings) 208: When the DM asks you if he can borrow some extra d6's for the next encounter... yeah, run. 209: When the DM asks 'What do you want on your artifact?' its probably time to start worrying. 210: Never hide information from the party. 211: Scouts must either be tanks or very difficult to hit, even flat-footed 212: No matter how annoying the sneaky party Ninja is, you can't kill him where the Paladin can see, or in a way that's tracable to you. 213: If the first 9 times you do something work the same way, the 10th time will be a trap. 214: Player stupidity is a CR (Level+10) challenge. You don't get experience for it. 215: Impress the DM, talk to NPCs. 216: If there are statues in a room, either there is a Medusa/Cockatrice nearby, or at least one of them is a golem... or both :D 217: If the DM asks if you do something, -anything-, don't do it without serious thought to the consequences.
Aterum 08-25-06, 10:32 AM	218: Never spend 8 months complaining about a campaign. Quit whenever you get the chance.
Nylkran 08-25-06, 11:17 AM	219: Never ever, even if the DM tells you is a good idea, even if he says he wants you to. Play a character you don't want to play. :mad: 220: Do not try to replicate characters from other games, (even if they are from other D&D games you have played), they always die horribly. :weep: 221: If one of the party members is laughing OOC, you are doing something, wrong, stupid or both. 222: Don't play a rogue type character in a Hack'n'Slash game with mechs. :confused: 223: Never think you have a chance against Darth Vader... (D20 Star Wars). (:D Who does?) 224: Always clean your medic supplies before using them, (damn betrayer ranger).:rant: :hoppingma :headexplo 225: Don't play a game when no one is sure about the rules. 226: Never play halfling fighters, other players won't respect you.:weep: 227: People cannot diferenciate between being an having a character who is an annoying ***, and you being one. 228: As cool as it may sound, Dwarven Samurais don't really work, (that was not in D&D though) 229: Never say: 'That was easy' your DM will always think of something nasty. 230: Just because you can think of it doesn't mean you can or should do it. 231: Never play Half-Dragon anything the LA is never worth it. 232: As the DM never give the possibilty of something to the players (no matter what the risk) that you think they shouldn't have, they will do their best to get it and you cannot really back down it was your idea. 233: Even if you never actually use anything from the CO boards expect to be branded a munchiking just by browsing them. 234: Never play a "I have to know it all.." character ina Call of Cthulu game. 235: If you are not having fun, don't play the game... (it should be obvious, but sometimes it isn't)
DragonDeadite 08-25-06, 11:44 AM	236: A dwarven Cleric of Pelor should be retired the moment he becomes stuck in the Plane of Shadows. (No sun... no praying... insanity comes quickly!) 237: When playing a rogue, it is not a good idea to talk to the shinney dagger (that no one, including yourself, knows about) 238: When playing a rogue, it is not a good idea to talk to the medalion that shows the image of a demon when you pick it up. 239: When you finaly meet said demon face to face, it's time to retire the rogue when he comes back from a "private" meeting with the demon, and to this day the DM still wont tell you what happened. 240: Don't play a rogue... just... don't... when said rogue is killed and the party kicks him into over the cliff without so much as looking at his body for items to salvage, that character was doomed from the start. 241: Tank fighters need their armor, especialy with the Heavy Armor Optimization Feat. 242: When fighter's armor is taken away (read destroyed) do not think he can survive running into the middle of 20 zombies... with an AC of 12... with a shield. 243: If the party mage comes across the two tanks in the party wrestling with one another, it's okay to assume one of them is being controled. It is not okay to fireball them both and hope that removes the spell. 244: Favored Souls like Flame Strike... PC fighters surrounded by enemies do not. (Hehe... sorry Derrick!!!) 245: A level 10 F.Soul cannot, no matter how bad he thinks he is, go up against a Barbarian 10/fighter 6 half-fiend cloud giant with a 20th lvl cleric of lolth in the corner. He will lose... and in a bad way....
Echo_that_Pains 08-25-06, 11:58 AM	246: A 4th level bard charging a juvenile white dragon CAN take a total of 180 damage in 1 round 247: Having backup characters/character sheets when you go into the gaming session is normally not a good way to impress a DM
Dorian_Dragen 08-25-06, 12:51 PM	248) Never try and grapple the Barbarian who is charging a Red Dragon either help him fight or run the hell away. (stupid cleric) 249) repeating crossbows don't...they always break. 250) full proof plans aren't 251) Impenetrable armor isn't 252) do not make fun of said Red Dragon when you have 5 hp left. 253) Every door you open will have something bad behind it. 254) The one door you don't will have thousands in platnum and magical items
Nyxi 08-25-06, 01:30 PM	255. Always make the elf keep watch when you sleep. Always. I don't care if your in the middle of a wasteland, fuzzy forest, undead swamp or a low grade inn/pub. Always. Unless thier drunk, or their name happens to be Moog. Then your just screwed. (BTW This also applies to characters who breakdance with their squirrell familiars. They just don't watch very well.) 256. Always use birth control. It will save you the pain of having another party member kill your son later. 257. Never trust NPCs, PCs, or your DM. Ever. That pretty ring they're giving you just might be cursed so your rouge can't steal from the party. And your DM Just might, you know, maybe, try to kill you once in a while. :)
Revan54115110 08-26-06, 09:05 PM	258. For Rangers the Favoured enemy undead I a wasted Skill (try it your self)
metaridley18 08-28-06, 01:42 AM	#259: When you find a strange console in a strange dungeon with a series of strange buttons, do not press all of the strange buttons in an attempt to figure out what they do. #260: After killing one of your party members with said strange buttons, do not continue to press said strange buttons. #261: After watching an Astral Construct disappear after pressing a button that you already pressed and passed a will save for, do not, under ANY circumstance, think, "One more press couldn't hurt." This all happened...to the same character...within a five minute span.
Seraphine_Harmonium 08-28-06, 02:16 AM	260. Never cast fireball at something within the blast radius. 261. If an enemy mage has cast grease under you, do not cast fire-based spells. 262. Don't use skiprocks either.
ShadowDragon8685 08-28-06, 03:12 AM	(As a DM.) 263. Never, ever, ever think that your CR + 9 NPC that is supposed to climactically end the game in tragedy is invunerable. Especially if you're playing Starwars d20, the enemy in question is Darth Vader (At the time of his assault on the Jedi Temple,) and one of the PCs has a rocket launcher. (Darthy drew his lightsaber, attacked a party Jedi. Took him down to about 20 WP. Scoundrel quickdrew his rocket launcher and let one off at Darth. Not in his direction - AT him. Rolled a natural 20, confirmed with a natural 20. Darth took full damage straight to Wound Points, giblets. The party Jedi burnt a Force Point, made some freak-a-dillic rolls, and survived with positive Wound Points, albiet unconcious.)
Keevo_Darkwood 08-28-06, 01:28 PM	And that goes for the scythe-wielding skeleton, too. ...and it's at least doubly true for the scythe-wielding slaad. :devil: Those of you who're old enough (or at least old-school enough) to know what I'm talking about are probably grinning and nodding in total agreement right about now; you'd also understand why, as a GM, I rule-zeroed what are described in the current edition as Black Slaadi to be some other ominous color. ;)
BeefotronX 08-29-06, 01:17 AM	264: A 20 foot pit can TPK a 2nd level party that forgot to invest in Climb and related gear.
Rolof 08-29-06, 03:35 AM	#265: Never say "Ohh, possible crit!" when you roll a 20-it dooms the confirmation roll to failure. #266: When you oh-so-cleverly throw your sack of flour on the BBEG rogue with a ring of invisibility, it doesn't do one lick of good if he was already visible at the time, you have to do it when he's got the invis ON.
Kraleck 08-29-06, 06:18 AM	267. Never kick a Gnome in the balls, and if you do, pray you don't roll triple 20 (I rolled this trying to keep with my Chaotic component after he tried to sell me "Boots of Devouring" and I didn't even have Imp. Unarmed Strike either), it will only lead to you gettingp jail time. 268. When you're an Aasimar and the only salvation from a curse of the gods (which they deemed me Lawful Evil from a fight I 1.) never wanted to take place in, 2.) got assaulted, then 3.) wanted to end peacefully but they kept after me) is jamming a gem, that you had to fight a Tiefling to get, spared her life, then ended her life at her request, into your forehead, expect her spirit to stick around as a voice in your head that can fry you with electricity and take over your body to kill paladins, all while projecting her voice through you out loud to "kill these fools." 269. If you are an Aasimar, never trust any Tiefling. Lannic, to this day, has remained my favorite and the most shunned (in-game) of my characters. Triple 20'd by a prestige paladin's mundane Longbow. He will be missed.
Dareon 08-29-06, 11:27 PM	270: If the roof begins creaking under you, GET OFF OF IT! 271: Do not be in melee when the melee fighter is forced to switch to his ranged weapon. (A good number of the party was entangled. Paladin took a crossbow shot at a bird next to me. Guess who he hit.) 272: There is no such thing as too much mundane equipment. There is only the need for another horse and cart.
rogue_lettuce 08-30-06, 02:17 PM	273. Don't let kobolds take "master of many forms" as a class.
Rickiel 08-30-06, 03:51 PM	274: Do NOT go ANYWHERE near evil shrines. 275: Nor the same room where the evil shrine is located. 276: On another train of thought...just don't go adventuring if you like to have a healthy, productive life devoid of evil shrines turning you into evil monsters.
Kassil 08-30-06, 05:35 PM	277: Even if you can single-handedly defeat an epic lich, a lone normal kobold can still be a terrifying threat. 278: Never trust a kobold named Meepo. He has 20 levels in the 'Adventurerslayer' class, more than likely. 279: If you can manage it, use a ranged weapon. The more ranged, the better. Calling down a meteor on an enemy's keep from a mountaintop half a continent away is one of the best ways of doing this. 280: If you are an evil character, do not play it as an idiot unless you are one. ******* off the good characters is a great way to get a trip to the mortuary. 281: If you want an empire, start small. Don't expect to walk into the palace, kill the current emperor, and have everyone bow to you. You'll get killed before you make it near the emperor - or if you somehow don't, you'll end up killing everyone who knows anything about the empire because they're either trying to protect the emperor or exact revenge on you.
Magus Gar Kan 09-05-06, 01:37 PM	282. When taking part in a frontal charge with a group of PCs, if you have the highest initiative, make certain that the enemies you're charging do not go before your allies in combat. You will be their primary target, and be severly hurt or dead before your allies go.
Righter8 09-05-06, 04:23 PM	283. Letting a guy who doesn't know most of the rules in the PHB DM is bad. Very, very bad. Oh god it was awful. Seriously. Really awful.
Gironal 09-06-06, 01:00 AM	284: If the DM asks you "Are you sure?", allways think carefully before replying.
Righter8 09-06-06, 08:03 AM	283. Letting a guy who doesn't know most of the rules in the PHB DM is bad. Very, very bad. Oh god it was awful. Seriously. Really awful. 285. Allowing (yeah I am usually against "forcing" a player to play certain classes) this player to play any type of spellcaster. Player: I cast Briar Web. Everyone in the effect takes 1d6 points of damage, is entangled, and no save. DM: That doesn't sound right...*looks up spell*...OK, everyone in the effect moves at half speed and takes 1 point of non magical damage per 5 feet moved. Swear, this guy had one line notes for all his spells and most of the info was wrong or incomplete. He casts his spells THEN looks it up, causing much havoc and laughter.:rofl:
mearrin69 09-07-06, 11:38 AM	286. Mind Flayers have spell resistance. Really high spell resistance. 287. Always prepare more than one Dispel Magic. 288. Doppelgangers suck.
Grey_Mage 09-08-06, 05:29 AM	289. I dont care what CO board people say, the cleric needs to have spells availble to heal the party, ALWAYS. 290. If the DM wont let you level up because youll be higher level than his PC, dont challenge his character to a duel for more XP. 291. Large predatory Dinosaurs are not subject to handle animal checks before they bite you in half- ever. 292. Using wings of flying and light to make yourself look like a celestial is not a good way to increase your popularity in ravenloft. 293. Remember, if your necropolitan it doesnt matter how nice a guy you are the paladin will swear your evil. 294. He can also smite you, just for existing. 295. The cleric will probly agree with him.