Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Lo_wang 02-06-07, 07:43 AM	I think there WAS a thread like this but I couldn't find it using google, so yeah I wanted to start a new one. Basiclly I have a DM that seems to think I love overcoming obstacles, sure it provides a laugh when I'm framed and chased though Sharn by a monk 4 levels higher then me with both the dash feat and sprint.... And by all rights I shouldn't mind such things... But it is the fact that I am the ONLY one who ever gets faced with these things. Constantly I am put up against challenges that takes near natural 20s to even have a hope in hell of completing. Well I want to at least beable to do something back, he annoys me I annoy him. But I am fast running out of ideas, I mean how many times can I start an argument without any real grounds. How many times can I pull a leaver to open the magically locked door, then when told there is no leaver reinforce the statement by saying "if there is no leaver how did I just pull it?" Anyway running exteamly low on ideas so I want to create this thread to gather all the ways a player can annoy a DM. And lets not include the obious like going somewhere you know the DM hasn't planned for, since some DMs wing everything.
Rotfl_and_Lol 02-06-07, 07:56 AM	1. Play Pun-Pun 2. Make characters same as Optimization Board ones 3. Play Paladin and make as much drama as possible 4. Play characters with prestige classes requiring evil alignment/burning something/eating bodies of dead children.
Romtos 02-06-07, 10:07 AM	5: Roll a dice for every little thing. 6: Keep demanding more details if your DM describes the room you just entered. 7: Run away with the whole party for every encounter. 8: As 7, but also for every NPC, object and other PC's.
Tyler Do'Urden 02-06-07, 10:17 AM	9: "Can I play a drow? I was reading this really cool novel..."
BlueBlazer 02-06-07, 10:36 AM	Okay, I should probably mention something about talking to the DM out of session and how escalating an Annoyance War will only make things worst. But I'm assuming a) you tried to solve things reasonably, b) you really are being singled out, and c) you acting responsibly is no guarantee that your DM will do the same, and really, why should you be the only responsible one? So: 10) act COMPLETELY paranoid. You've been framed for a crime and assaulted by powerful individuals and had levers disappear right out of your hands... you see enemies everywhere and know that everytime you try something it's way too difficult. So lock yourself in a room and keep a crossbow pointed at the door (don't shoot though, it'll inevitably be a guard or innocent and you'll be all framed again). Demand signed statements to prove you are wherever you are (so you have an alibi when you're wrongfully accused of something... make them ridiculous too "I swear that so and so was here at noon on the blahteenth of blah, and that s/he was not stealing or murdering or doing any sort of illegal or immoral activity" (if you actually write it out and hand it to the DM to sign for the NPC it'll be better)). Refuse to go adventuring with the party until you're MUCH better (as all the tasks you have to overcome seem near impossible). Generally drag the game down into boredom. When the DM tries to get you adventuring by giving you quests and/or mucking with you (more set-ups and framings) turn down the quests ("I'm not good enough!") and point at the set-ups ("see! Everywhere I go, people framing me! It's a conspiracy and everyone's in on it! Cee-Oh-eN-spiracy!"). If the players and/or the DM complain, just point out what your character has had to put up with... any reasonable group will see that it's the DM's fault (so even if your DM isn't responsible enough to change behavior, the group might pressure him/her into it). Most DMs can handle you going to a new/uncharted place, by, as you said, winging it. What almost all DMs hate is generating a place/adventure/whatever and having the characters refuse to go. 11) Trade PCs with someone. Flat out tell the player that the world (DM) seems to have it in for your PC, and you need a break. DON'T tell the DM til you're in game. Then just play and wait. If the DM continues to pick on your character, the player playing him/her will see what you have to put up with, and if the DM continues to pick on you, everyone will see that it has nothing to do with the world's reaction to your PC and everything to do with picking on you. 12) Write up a new character sheet, exactly like the old one but add 5 to EVERY SINGLE NUMBER. HP, BAB, Str/Dex/Con/Int/Wis/Cha, every skill... then play and see the look on the DMs face when you don't fail everything. Tell the other players what you're doing beforehand (and why) but not the DM. If the DM is out to get you and bumps up the challenges (so you still fail) everyone will see what's going on, and if the DM doesn't notice, well, maybe s/he doesn't realize that things are too challenging (though I doubt it if it's only happening to your character). 13) Your character has all the time in the world. You pull a lever to open a door and the DM says there is no lever? Make one. Dig out the walls, go get supplies, bits of wood and metal and what not, and install a lever that opens the door. Camp out in front of it with a group of dwarven engineers you've collected from town and sit there til there's a lever you can pull.
Adrian_Crane 02-06-07, 11:06 AM	The above post is all kinds of awesome. Seconded. :D
Nakat 02-06-07, 11:24 AM	14: Make a grappler. 15: Make a Warlock with an 18 Charisma, take Baleful Utterance, and Sunder every spell component pouch, holy symbol, spellbook, door, chest, and belt in sight. Make sure to differentiate between door and hinges so you can kick it over on the monster on the other side.
Rotfl_and_Lol 02-06-07, 12:08 PM	16. Play 3-headed feral half-red dragon half-troll saint krii-kreen ranger with focus on multiweapon fighting. If your DM doesn't allow any of those, complain about character that you're making ("it's too weak, it won't hurt anyone and will die in first combat"). 17. Make way too weak, useless character. Half-orc bard, ogre wizard, halfling barbarian. 18. Carry 20 foot pole ALL the time, and poke every door with it, throwing search check, until you roll 20. 19. Never take 20 or 10, roll every time (swimming through lake? grab d20 and roll for half a hour). If anyone complains, tell them that rollplaying is fun. 20. Retry every check. Bluff same guard at least 15 times (or until you roll 20).
derpderp 02-06-07, 12:44 PM	if you are suddenly reduced to level one from a decently high level, run into walls trying to commit sucicide as often as possible
dragonfire8974 02-06-07, 01:35 PM	holy god, this is great. 22) i'd say be contrary to the party, that always cheesed me off as a dm, waiting for 20min while the committee settles on which way to go. 23) insist on playing every single moment (okay a week passes before you can get the lever working to open the door. wait, i wanted to do other things during that week!) 24) recant actions. ooh man does that annoy the living **** out of me 25) if a low-level game, spiked chain tripper. mid-high, druid that summons tons of stuff.
gorckat 02-06-07, 02:50 PM	The following may annoy the rest of the group too :p 26)Get a d100 and use it for everything: 1-25 = 1 on d4 1-16 = 1 od d6, reroll 97-100 1-12 = 1 on d8, reroll 97-100 1-10 = 1 on d10 etc... Have a chart to compare your rolls to. Or 1 chart (in 48 point or greater font) for each traditional die so you have to shuffle pages. Make sure to leave regular dice at home :p 27) Use dice without numbers. Have charts to translate the symbols to get the number you rolled. 28) Use coins instead of dice- for d20 flip 20 coins. Each heads (or tails) adds one. (Likely not statistically equivalent.)
Raxmei 02-06-07, 03:15 PM	28) Use coins instead of dice- for d20 flip 20 coins. Each heads (or tails) adds one. (Likely not statistically equivalent.) Not even close to equivalent. A 20 on a d20 is a 1 in 20 chance. 20 scores of heads on 20 coin flips is 1 in 1,048,576. Odds are literally one in a million. It's also possible to roll a zero with the same odds. The thing that would annoy me as a DM is a player using stupid stunts to annoy me instead of simply telling me about a problem he has.
johnkretzer 02-06-07, 03:15 PM	22) i'd say be contrary to the party, that always cheesed me off as a dm, waiting for 20min while the committee settles on which way to go. I actualy enjoy if the PCs did this much RPing as a DM. 29) When DM is thinking he is doing something cool just say,"Whatever". Example;" You are being chased though Sharn by a monk that is 4 levels higher then you." Your response should be," Whatever....I don't run away I just surrender."
mregecko 02-06-07, 03:23 PM	26)Get a d100 and use it for everything: Damnit, you stole mine! From an LG mod: Me: I walk out of the inn. DM: You are flanked by two drow wielding +1 elven thinblades. Surprise round. *roll* Crit *roll* Confirmed *roll* Crit *roll* Confirmed DM: You'll have to stablize on your round now, you're at -2. Me: FINE! *glaring, pulls out spherical d100* This is reserved for DM's I hate... *proceeds to roll d100's off the table for about 8 consecutive rounds* -- Gecko
illyrus 02-06-07, 03:31 PM	30. Find a spell that is rarely used for anything and find uses for it. Begin to use it in odd situations only. Continue the use throughout the campaign at any and every opportunity you can. An example with Wall of Ice: - Need to block an attack(such as a sword swing or a fireball), readied wall of ice - Need to cross a chasm, wall of ice - Need to give the rogue sneak attack without anyone being near, wall of ice as a sheet - Need a climbing tool, wall of ice Now the first few times it might even be cool, but repeat it enough times and it will drive many DMs crazy. As soon as you get to a point where you actually need to use it to trap something, use a completely random spell instead.
dragor_shadowfury 02-06-07, 03:47 PM	31. pick up some language that your DM doesn't know (IRL). learn some of the words you are going to use the most during sessions. Then bring a dictionary. Use the words in the middle of senteces so that you need to know the word for the sentecne to make any sense, then when the DM ask what the heck you mean, hand over the dictionary,
Ameture Expert 02-06-07, 06:23 PM	32) Read all his notes for the session 33) ...while eating a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich with extra jelly. *34) Drink a whole lot of alcohol and high caffine soda pop and let nature do the rest. 35) Have your character buy a whole lot of seminingly useless things... after watching a whole lot of "MacGuyver," "The Equilizer," and of coarse the "A-Team." 36) ...and come up with stuff so complex and stupid even those guys couldn't pull it off and act surprised and disappointed when it enevitable fails. *-Denotes undisputable health hazzard
Loyac 02-06-07, 07:03 PM	The best way I have ever seen to annoy a DM is to roll constant 20's on just about anything such as: init, Attack roll, crit check, skill checks. and yes I have seen this happen in my group.
Sajek 02-06-07, 07:05 PM	37. Make a blind character. 38. Insist on making a commoner. 39. Whenever he gives a description of something, insist for more details. DM: You enter a room about thirty by thirty feet, a single lonely torch sputering feebly on the far wall. Mold and ivy grows in the cracks of the ancient stone masonry. A rusted iron door rests on the left wall. You: Little more description please? DM: Umm...water is dripping from the ceiling in some places, a small pile of refuse is in the corner, and...you hear a faint echoing from deeper in the dungeon. You: What? Could you describe it more? 38. Use skills at random times. DM: The cleric greets you. He says "Is there anything I can do for you?" You: I use Sense Motive. Does he REALLY want to help us?
nerdor257 02-06-07, 09:09 PM	39. Play the wizard who just can't remember to prepare his spells. Example: DM: You are ambushed by a party of orcs. Roll initiative. *wizard wins* Wizard: I cast... Oh wait, I forgot to prepare my spells, be back in a minute. *twenty minutes later* Wizard: Alright, I'm back. I cast presdigitation.
Maekrix_Waere 02-06-07, 11:31 PM	40) Act like anyone from the 10(0?)1 Worst Players Ever Thread.
Lo_wang 02-07-07, 01:55 AM	Wow Sweet another 40 odd things to do...i really like that pole thing. Anyway keep them coming we are only level 1 so far and I have a long campaign ahead of me. FYI we are playing in Ebberon if that helps anyone.
Zankue 02-07-07, 10:17 AM	if you are suddenly reduced to level one from a decently high level, run into walls trying to commit sucicide as often as possible LOL
johnkretzer 02-07-07, 12:27 PM	41) Play a spellcaster. During combat when it is your turn look into about 10 different books "looking for the perfect spell" do this even if you are casting the same spell round to round.
dragonfire8974 02-07-07, 02:35 PM	42) pay very minor attention during combat ask who each of the mini's are each round, look through books until it's your turn, then say, "wait, i'll cast...." and flip through books for some time. then when they think about skipping your turn, say "i've almost got it." or "I got it!" then keep flipping through books. man i'd kill the player who did this
gameld 02-07-07, 05:49 PM	43) the worst for me is to know that there's a story that you may be in the middle of, and go do something else completely different. 'okay, so the [boss npc guy/ wise old man] says that the [x,y,z] is [in location d].' 'i'm going to go find the tavern in the next nation over and try to buy it.' i really hate this.
Ameture Expert 02-07-07, 09:07 PM	FYI we are playing in Ebberon if that helps anyone. Actually, yes. For me anyways... 44) Constantly ask if you can drive the lighning car (or whatever it's called) 45) Constantly ask to meet Drizzt and Elminster. 46) ...when infromed that both Drizzt and Elminster are in the forgoten relms and thus no way in this campign act either very angry or very depressed. 47) Abuse slight of hand and disable device to take parts out of Warforged and other constructs. Hold said part up and ask them "is this importent?" And now some general campign stuff 48) At random intervals say "Smoke." (btw: Cookie :cookie: for reference) 49) Constantly ask for cookies after you accomplish anything. And I do mean anything. DM: You wake up. You: Yay! Can I have a cookie for that? 50) Tell your DM you found over fifty (50) ways to annoy him, then show him this list (after the next guy posts)
Count Nerindil Van Seraph 02-07-07, 09:23 PM	48) At random intervals say "Smoke." (btw: Cookie :cookie: for reference)) "Are you smoking yet?" That would be Family Guy! 51) Speak ENTIRELY in movie, T.V., music, pop culture references. It's funny, for a while, but soon the DM will be punching infants. Be sure to inform your fellow players. That cookie had better be butterscotch chip...
johnkretzer 02-08-07, 04:36 AM	48) At random intervals say "Smoke." (btw: Cookie :cookie: for reference) In my group that would signify a smoke break...which if you do enough could get the DM annoyed( or not if he is a smoker). 52) Every time the DM goes into a really long description of something constantly interupt with your character doesn't care he just does x. 53) And this is one for Eberron...keep asking to play a duel scimitar weilding drow ranger. Keep saying it is a orginal idea in Ebberron.
Zumarai 02-08-07, 09:08 AM	-Go out of your way to bypass/circumvent encounters you know your DM has spent a lot of time designing.
LoNLinaChan 02-08-07, 09:43 AM	after a long discussion with not only your dm but you in game party of why your name is pwny and numorous battle of you just half hartedly swinging a clunky sword with no real effect your final boss introduces himself "greeting foolish mortals for i am" which is interupted with the one line "i cast a sudden quicken, sudden maximize, sudden empowered, engergy add mixtured acid sudden silient, and sudden stilled disintegrate; oh and did i mention my first and middle name are one trick."
seldom_seen 02-08-07, 10:45 AM	54. Ask to play two characters, then freely swap equipment back and forth between them during game play. 55. Play a kleptomaniac thief, and steal EVERYTHING you see, then claim, "It's just my nature, I can't help it"! 56. Pretend to not pay attention during descriptions of rooms and then ask the DM to repeat himself.
dragor_shadowfury 02-08-07, 11:23 AM	57) be a character with personality split, and various spezialization schools for each personality
Ameture Expert 02-08-07, 11:46 AM	"Are you smoking yet?" That would be Family Guy! That cookie had better be butterscotch chip... Here is your cookie :cookie: Count Nerindil Van Seraph and now: 58) Every time you find food in a dungeon, eat it. If there is a fortitude, pass with flying colors (this will get to any DM after a while) 59) In mid game, pull out your "Game boy DS" or other portable video game player you have. Become engrosed in that game. For optimum effect, do at start of combat.
LoNLinaChan 02-08-07, 12:32 PM	60 invite a girl to game not to play just to flirt with while everyone trys to play. 61 just before the dm starts the game take all of his dice and your dice and mix them up and start rolling to see which are the luckiest
gameld 02-08-07, 04:45 PM	57) be a character with personality split, and various spezialization schools for each personality i actually kinda wanna see that one played out. sounds like fun, if a bit paper intensive.
johnkretzer 02-09-07, 03:25 AM	i actually kinda wanna see that one played out. sounds like fun, if a bit paper intensive. There was a Planescape NPC who was like that...though he or she or it (depending) changed classes depending on the personality.
kadeity 02-09-07, 04:08 AM	60) take leadership, then roll up character sheets from ALL of your followers, naming and equipping them, as well as keeping up with their gold. Have all of your followers FOLLOW you. Take Teamwork Benifits for all fo them, and be a one player army. If the DM tries to area of effect them, roll saves for all of them. Individually. 61)Roleplay a different Alignment every single game session, adding a new accent to your voice. Insist its still the same character. 62)Be a Cannibal. Be hungry. Always. 63)Play a monster. Then Roleplay a monster. 64)Take the Abberation Wild shape & Assume Supernatural Ability feats. Then Become a Beholder. Forever. 65) Burn all of your stat points to have Max Str & Con. Play an enraged Mentally handicapped Barbarian named "The In-Edible KLUH" 66) a)Try and make pop culture icons in dnd terms. Dont tell your dm thats what your doing. b)Play Spiderman the Rogue, or Wolverine the Barbarian. c)Make up a DND superhero name, and spend the first 4 rounds of combat changing into costume. "This looks like a job for.... CHAINMAIL-MAN!" d)Specialize in Force effects, and have a brillinat energy Bastard Sword. Say "My name is Luke." 67)Make a point of having to make a new character every session because your alst character Died/WasArrested/ Ran away. Wait until the you go to the session to make the character. 68)Cast all your spells, as fast as you can, as often as you can, on anyone you see. 69)Play a Warlock. Use Eldritch blast every single round, no matter what, in combat or out, blasting anything you see, for fun. 70)Play the parties main tank. choose a phobia of a common thing that you will probably ahve to fight. Refuse to fight it. Run away in fear. Deny it happened. 71) name your character MODNOC THE PROTECTOR and see how long it takes for the party to realize your name is Condom spelled backwards.
willwrk4internet 02-10-07, 12:40 AM	ok, the sad thing is, we've actually had some crazy people in our party. This is in homage to one very weird dude i met along the way. 72. Twitch endlessly. Rock back and forth in your chair and keep your hands busy by stacking the dice. Then, in a time of silence, ask really really random questions like, "What magic card do you get off to?" or, "What drink do you drink excessively?" 73.Laugh persistently when there is a serious matter going on.
Keiichi_m 02-10-07, 03:26 AM	74. Make bad 'time of day' jokes Dawn rolls around... **** let me make a reflex. Day breaks, DAMNIT I've had to get that repaired so many times now Night falls, well pick it the hell up. (this get's real old real fast if you keep it up) 75. Get up to go to the bathroom just before your combat phase... take your own sweet ass time. (this annoys me as a DM when people get up mid combat) 76. ask questions you know the DM doesn't have the answer to or superfluous questions that don't impact anything. What color hair does the elvish god have, and do you think gods can dye their hair? you here a screem. What kind of screem? excited? maybe you could tell me, what color the screem is, if this screem were a color? 77. you remember that lever you built? it's a nice freaking lever, you don't want to leave it behind, take time to dig it up and get it back... what about the next door?
Tiefling_Warlock 02-10-07, 10:31 AM	Have a Adamantine Great sword and power attack and attack every single obstical, door, yep, wall, yep. And make the DM find the rules (they are in there)
Thor_axe_impaler 02-10-07, 10:43 AM	78) Start quoting the Dr. Demento's game.... every time. As soon as you get to the gaming session, or just into combat, ask if you can have a Mountain Dew, even if you already have on. Announce everytime you want to cast a spell with a lisp. 79)As a rogue, take search checks andinsist that there is notrap to be found to the rest of the party, regardless of roll. Do this every time, while stopping to look for traps every few feet and at every door. 80)If there is a pali in the party, insist on playing a undead character. Then when both the players and the DM tell you that you'll die instantly, tell them that youare working on a graduall change in alignment.
Amon_WinterfallIV 02-10-07, 05:01 PM	81: Leeroy Jenkins!! 82: Hit on each and every female in the game. 83: Cast summon Monster III for the 1d6+1 monsters on the Summon Monster I list, repeatedly... 84: Bring your Laptop Computer, and play a different game instead of D+D at all times. 85: Use presto to change every dungeon into a color you like better. 86: Diplomacy the BBEG into giving up his superplot; do this with every opponent.
ToxicWiz 02-10-07, 05:41 PM	81: Leeroy Jenkins!! I honestly have no idea why that made me laugh so hard. 87: Another story. If there is an evil dragon, go fight the goblin tribe. distract the point completely, and even if they go with it, switch again later. 88: Turncoat. If they want you to fight these random enemies, Diplomacy them into submission then change sides. "Hey, you have a good plan, could I join your army of undeath? I'd like to be a ghoul pelase!" "The blackguard has a point" 89: play common sense. Fight the goblin, are you joking? why? what is there to gain? a locked door? knock, see if they let you in. A trapped hallway? Who would put a Spinning Blades in the hall? this is stupid. a crypt... No! I'm not going into a guys grave! generally whine, like a good person would.
fullmetal80110 02-14-07, 02:52 AM	90. Buy the 100 chickens or sheep to play trap detector on the dungeon and insist that the dm puts each one of them on the mini map. 91. Be a smart ass at all times, puns always work well for this :D 92. Walk away from a combat that you got the party into and say "I don't agree what you're all fighting for" 93. Have your character have an apifiny every session 94. The army of attack dogs is always fun, but do it when you have NO handle animal skill 95. The Frenzied Berserker will do it every time 96. Play an elan wilder 97. Use wish spells for things they wern't intended for 98. Buy a grease wand and lets the jokes fly.. (Well I pull out my greasy wand....) 99. Play the feral, sainted, 3 headed, half dragon, half celestial, half fiend character 100. Get a D100 and do one of the things on this list every session
BeefotronX 02-14-07, 04:08 PM	32) Read all his notes for the session One thing my brother does when he DMs is he keeps a packet of notes from an unrelated campaign that he shuffles around from time to time. So anyone who spies on his notes is just going to get confused.
skywyze 02-14-07, 04:28 PM	102. Play a Kender.
Rickiel 02-14-07, 04:35 PM	103: Be a Good aligned character and play it well. Oh! And be a Fighter while at it. The DM will go NUTS trying to understand why the Fighter is refusing to fight the followers of a Good deity.
zzakk2to2 02-14-07, 06:13 PM	82: Hit on each and every female in the game. 104) be chaotic and extend this to try and do anything slightly female and when asked about it say your all about equal oppertonity. 105) see if you can get a chain with only one end from you Dm 106)instead of breaking or opening doors dig around them and collect them 107) get an impulsive disorder 108) when doing stuff look for the easiest way no matter what.
Amon_WinterfallIV 02-15-07, 05:50 PM	109: Start looking for guns, rockets, or automobilies. Insist that your character is a time traveler from the distant future who is aware of each and every one of these devices. 110: Turn each and every thing in the game into a sexual reference. "The wizard's Staff", "the slot in the door", "a greatsword" 111: Name your character Megaman, Sonic, Mario, Link, or some other video game reference and later claim to have their abilities. 112: Use a D30 to roll your d20 rolls. 113: Play a creature, such as a goblin. Don't put Common on your list of known languages.
johnkretzer 02-15-07, 10:31 PM	114.: Find a topic that the DM really loaths to talk or hear about(I.E. for me it would be a LARP I don't play at) and bring it up as a tangenmt every chance you get. 115: Don't let the DM fade to black on scenes...then afterwards go to the bathroomn then out for a cig.
DoveArrow 02-16-07, 06:26 PM	116. In the middle of combat, in a room with tapestries, ask what the DC is for climbing a tapestry. Chances are your DM won't know the answer and will probably pull out the Player's Handbook to check. When he says the rules aren't there, insist that you've read them somewhere in the Core Rulebooks, and keep insisting until he finally figures out that the rules are in the Dungeon Master's Guide. Then, once he finds the rules, have your character drink a potion, or delay.
willwrk4internet 02-23-07, 09:25 PM	lol, sad to say that ive actually done that.
Vicerious 02-23-07, 09:58 PM	117. When engaged in a pitched battle (The more exciting, the better), don't pay any attention. Then, when your turn rolls around, ask the DM to explain what happened just one more time. As soon as you finish asking the question and as your DM begins to explain, fall asleep. Lather, rinse, repeat.
snakeman830 02-24-07, 05:02 PM	118. When the DM tries to lead you on with the campaign, do something else instead. Preferably something stupid. while in a pub NPC Bard: I've heard of a tomb nearby that is supposed to be filled with treasure. However, nobody has been able to confirm the rumor. You: I think I need another drink. *get's drink, finishes it off* Where's that (insert a random party member's race), I need to shoot something. Or You: I can't go, I've got a wife and twenty-three kids. (Swap out "wife" for"husband" if your character happens to be female)
Jaxsbudgie 02-24-07, 07:30 PM	119. Become the only character to thoroughly enjoy your DM's campaign (requires the other players to not really care about D&D what so ever) Then get really into the storyline And quit With or without an excuse Resulting in the rest of the players quitting too Resulting in your DM to cry after spending 10 years designing this campaign Something my DM has no idea about Something i plan to do very soon
Kozeljnik 02-24-07, 08:18 PM	120: "I disbelieve" is your standard response when you meet NPC's. or party members for that matter 121. Vow Of Poverty, Vow Of Nonviolence, Vow Of Peace, Vow Of Obedience, Vow Of Purity. in that order. also, play in a way that makes St. Cuthbert himself look like a paragon of chaos when compared to you
Sathery 02-26-07, 03:20 AM	122. If you're new to playing the game, "create" a character and then spill pop/ketchup/coffee/gasoline/toilet water all over it. Now you have to make a new one. This is especially tactful (to the PC at least) when the DM was just going to insert your character into the game. 123. Do nothing. Nothing whatsoever. 124. Try to buy up the town that you're at. Stay there as long as it takes. 125. Come up with odd names...Viagra the Dysfunctional, Zoloft the Depressed (a half-orc barbarian my friend played...Sigh...), Met-RX the Weak, Killer the Bard. 126. Ask where the restroom is in a dungeon complaining complaining that you have to make a BM. 127. Do some target practice on livestock somewhere in town. 128. Refuse to ride a horse 'cause goats are so much cooler. Even better if you're over 100 lbs. 129. Get a DM screen and insist it's for aesthetic value only. 130. While engaging in combat, build a fort out of empty pop cans. 131. Attempt at juggling your dice all at once constantly. 132. Hire all of the children in a town to be your scribes. 133. Hit on the DM's NPC. Definitely awkward if the DM, yourself and the characters are the same sex. 134. Announce to the party in game that you're not wearing pants. 135. Roll Reflex saves for each step you take. 136. Talk in slow-motion.
CowMasterTrojan 02-26-07, 03:38 AM	116. In the middle of combat, in a room with tapestries, ask what the DC is for climbing a tapestry. Chances are your DM won't know the answer and will probably pull out the Player's Handbook to check. When he says the rules aren't there, insist that you've read them somewhere in the Core Rulebooks, and keep insisting until he finally figures out that the rules are in the Dungeon Master's Guide. Then, once he finds the rules, have your character drink a potion, or delay. Where are the rules to do that in the DMG?
Genetic 02-26-07, 09:36 AM	137. Quicken spell + spontaneous summoner class. Edit: Even though such a thing isn't possible.
Rotfl_and_Lol 02-26-07, 04:27 PM	U can't quicken spontaneous spell... 138. Act like excited. DM: you see table with some bread and cheese on it. Player: OH! CHEESE! On the Great (deity name)! 139. Use every possible loophole. 140. Cry when something happens to ur char. 141. At the end of BBEGs speak say: "O rly?" 142. Purify everything u kill and then eat it. 143. Get adamantine pick and dig tunnels instead of walking through doors/hallways "to evade traps". 144. Disintegrate half of dungeon. 145. Polymorph any object everything into strange things. 146. Polymorph living things into women... 147. ... and then rape them. 148. Cast persistent dancing lights or something and use Perform (dance) all day.
Genetic 02-26-07, 05:10 PM	U can't quicken spontaneous spell... A minor detail in the grand scheme of the universe I say!
DoveArrow 02-26-07, 07:14 PM	Where are the rules to do that in the DMG? Exactly my point. It's one of those hard-to-find, obscure rules that nobody knows about unless they're obsessive compulsive about the game, they've taken the Herald Level GM test for the RPGA, or both. It's also exactly the kind of thing that will drive your DM to the brink of insanity trying to find. Trust me, though, it's there.
willwrk4internet 02-26-07, 08:31 PM	the climb DC for walls is on page 60 (3.5 version), if thats what you're talking about ...and no, i did not have to look that up.
DoveArrow 02-27-07, 04:41 PM	the climb DC for walls is on page 60 (3.5 version), if thats what you're talking about ...and no, i did not have to look that up. But no... I could swear that there's a climb check listed specifically for tapestries somewhere in the DMG. :P
DoveArrow 02-27-07, 04:49 PM	You know, before this turns into a thread on how to annoy the members of this board with obscure rules lawyering, here's the rule that I'm referring to from the SRD, listed under Dungeon Miscellaneous Features: Tapestry Tapestries provide total concealment (50% miss chance) to characters behind them if they’re hanging from the ceiling, or concealment (20% miss chance) if they’re flush with the wall. Climbing a big tapestry isn’t particularly difficult, requiring a DC 15 Climb check (or DC 10 if a wall is within reach).
TheWyrmDude 02-28-07, 12:06 AM	Here is your cookie :cookie: Count Nerindil Van Seraph 59) In mid game, pull out your "Game boy DS" or other portable video game player you have. Become engrosed in that game. For optimum effect, do at start of combat. I actually did that in my current group, but it was more to pass the time between my turn and everyone else's. I paid attention, but it was still pretty rude of me. Anyways, 149) "Can I sunder the king?" 150) "Are you sure he isn't just an object of some sort?"
DoveArrow 02-28-07, 12:34 PM	I actually did that in my current group, but it was more to pass the time between my turn and everyone else's. I paid attention, but it was still pretty rude of me. Yeah, we have a guy that does that every game and it ticks a lot of the other players off. Speaking of which, here are some other things he does that would be perfect additions to this list. 151) Uncover the evil villain's secret plans to take over the world and not tell anyone. 152) Stand in a corner and do nothing every time there's combat. 153) Complain about the lack of roleplaying in the game, but do everything you can to sabotage the other players' efforts. 153) Complain about a previous player who used to do all of these things and not reflect on the irony of doing so. 154) Create a player character who speaks with a chicano accent and calls everyone 'holmes.' 155) Create furries as player characters. 156) Tell every female NPC you meet that you want a kiss, or you won't let her leave.
The_Basilisk 02-28-07, 01:28 PM	157: Say, "I cast Summon Monster!" Then grab the MM and start flipping pages. MAN that bugs me!!
Sajek 02-28-07, 06:25 PM	158. Make jump checks to get wherever you need to go. 159. Use combat maneuvers on the completely wrong targets (disarm a creature without weapons, bull rush a door, aid another, ETC). Act sad when it doesn't work. 160. Roleplay a character with Tourett's Syndrome. 161. Step out for a smoke every 15 minutes. 162. Whenever you need to make a check, roll five d20s at once. Use the best result.
DoveArrow 03-01-07, 01:08 PM	160. Roleplay a character with Tourett's Syndrome. Careful there. There are a lot of people out there (including myself) who have TS, and while I understand that you're referring to the type which involves the uncontrolled, yelling of obscenities, it is, by far, the least common type, and may not even be a manifestation of the disorder at all. It's also a little offensive, at least to me, when people reduce this disease to a stereotype based on something they've seen on a talk show, like Jerry Springer, or in a movie, like Deuce Bigalow Male Gigalo. Also, there's an 'e' at the end of the word Tourette's. ;)
s4ndm4n 03-01-07, 01:20 PM	I think there WAS a thread like this but I couldn't find it using google, so yeah I wanted to start a new one. Basiclly I have a DM that seems to think I love overcoming obstacles, sure it provides a laugh when I'm framed and chased though Sharn by a monk 4 levels higher then me with both the dash feat and sprint.... And by all rights I shouldn't mind such things... But it is the fact that I am the ONLY one who ever gets faced with these things. Constantly I am put up against challenges that takes near natural 20s to even have a hope in hell of completing. Well I want to at least beable to do something back, he annoys me I annoy him. But I am fast running out of ideas, I mean how many times can I start an argument without any real grounds. How many times can I pull a leaver to open the magically locked door, then when told there is no leaver reinforce the statement by saying "if there is no leaver how did I just pull it? Have you tried talking to your DM outside gaming time? If he still does the same he has either a not-so-sane way of thinking or an attitude complex,sorry im offensive,but if a player has a problem the DM should at least try to improve his DMing. Making a character just to annoy the DM ruins the fun for all other players, whether you warn them about it or not .DnD is not meant to be played that way.
*Grim_Reaper* 03-08-07, 01:26 AM	163. Replace DM's can of Pepsi with a Pepsi can of tobacco Spit. (I had this happen to my DM once. He mistakenly grabbed the wrong can and took a drink for any one could stop him lol) 164. Play a Pally and during your first session randomly attack children claiming that your deity told you they were all the spawn of evil. 165. Play a arcane spell caster and insist on wearing full plate and caring a tower shield even if you don't have the shield and armor proficiencies for them.
snakeman830 03-08-07, 03:46 PM	166. Do a dwarven defender and toughen up against highly mobile opponents. 167. Try to take a prestige class that is race-specific when you are not that race.
willwrk4internet 03-09-07, 06:58 PM	168. Play a Monty Python themed cleric 1. make it your life mission to find the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. 2. when entering a dungeon, ask if there are killer rabbits. 3. every time you cast a cure spell, loudly proclaim, "i got better!" like the peasant in the witch scene who got turned into a newt. 4. better yet, try and get a newt as a familiar.
Ameture Expert 03-10-07, 12:07 AM	169) Ask him to repeat things over and over and over and over... 170) Solve his death trap puzzle in seconds. Repeat when ever possible (I am a bit of a puzzle-smith so this happens frequently) 171) Max out Alchemy and start pumping out some drugs like amphedemines and morphene. (I may have misspelled those)
Silas_Dragonborn 03-10-07, 12:29 PM	172) Every now and a again, scream as loudly as possible. Best done when the person next to you has a drink and will most probably tip it everywhere. 173) Specialise in force effects and play as a Soulknife who manifests their Mindblade as a long blue beam. Constantly wear a long brown cloak. 174) Ask the DM where the rules for EVERYTHING are (especially during character creation) e.g. how many skill points do rangers get per level, what's the spell progression for wizard, how much damage does a scythe do and so on. Do this even if you know the answer and don't bother looking anything up. 175) Obtain a wand of Passwall and go through the dungeon in a straight line. 176) Tell the DM that your character is throwing anything he can find on the floor at enemies instead of using his weapons. e.g. clods of earth while outside, weeds/moss while in dungeon, use your imagination if you're in a sewer. 177) Play a Warforged and run round screaming "EXTERMINATE!!" or act like The Terminator. 178) Play a Changeling and keep mimicking the other players, doing exactly as they do. Inside combat and out of. 179) Play a Shifter with a catlike personality and announce a Cat Nap at the begining of every battle. Have you character promptly fall asleep.
Ack 03-12-07, 12:33 AM	180. Hide the GM's books. Bring your own. Don't let him look at them. 181. Play a dwarf and pack EVERY possible bit of equipment on to him; your backpack will give out before your Encumbrance does. Include whatever else you can wheedle him into allowing into the game. Insist you can get at EVERY item as a free action. Make sure you include water wings (ie, inflated waterskins) in case he pulls the old "fall in the water" trick on you. If you have spare encumbrance left over, remember that you can never have too many arrows. 182. Use a repeating crossbow. For everything. Get someone to enchant specialised arrows. "I shoot the door with my Arrow of Lockpicking!"
Archangel_Tyrael 03-12-07, 02:30 AM	172) Every now and a again, scream as loudly as possible. Best done when the person next to you has a drink and will most probably tip it everywhere. I laughed for an entire minute at this one. SO....FUNNY!! 183. Play a Halfling Shadowdancer named Tealeaf Murderface and insist on wearing the faces of the random people you've killed--Hanibal Lecter style--especially if they're medium or larger sized. 184. Intentially argue the most basic rules with the DM (such as sneak attack damage, critical hits, etc.)--and when you are proven wrong, insist that they changed it between editions (especially effective if you've only been playing since 3.0). 185. Take one of the many "What Character Class Are You?" and "What Are Your Ability Scores?" tests, print them off, then make your character those exact scores. 186. Play a paladin with a negative Charisma bonus, and insist that your "Lay on Hands" ability actually hurts people. 187. Play a conniving little rouge, and find ways to frame your party for minor crimes. (Ex. when entering a house of a noble to meet with him, one rouge in a campaign I was in made an awesome Dex check to put a gold candlestick in the back of another PC's backpack) 188. Try to use Handle Animal on every rat, bat, cat, dog, horse, cow, pig, chicken, frog, squirrel, rabbit, donkey, mule, and orangutan you see. Insist that you're capable of riding it, no matter how small it is--I mean, you DID just train it. 189. Every gaming session ask your DM if you can kill off your current character and be an Awakened Squirrel Rouge. If he says you can't, act very sad. If he says you can, NEVER use sneak attack or any skills you have--just eat nuts and insult people from trees.
Ace_of_time 03-12-07, 02:30 AM	190. play a halfling sorc.. with feat exotic pro.. in a Fullblade and put high score on str dex and con. choose spells that buff and magic missle, mage armor, shield. always cast shield and mage armor when they run out. don't forget to put Keen on it when the money comes up. that should keep him on his toes. 191. act like your player is mute except when you are by your self in game.
Archangel_Tyrael 03-12-07, 02:31 AM	192. No matter what class or race you play, your name is ALWAYS Riddick. Ask for the damage and crit stats of a metal teacup. 193. Play a Drunken Master and use babies as your Improvised Weapons. ONLY BABIES. Take Throw Anything...and THROW BABIES. Hey, it's not against the law if they're your babies. 194. Play a Dwarf Fighter with the personality of C-3PO. Include the accent. 195. Play a Barbarian named Ahnuld who flexes to communicate and spends all his gold on oil so he "looks good". 196. Play a bard, and actually write a song for each of your spells. Make sure you sing them every time you cast the spell. Be very annoying. Get REAL mad when he stops you from singing. (Ex. Cat's Grace, start singing "Eye of the Tiger"--and don't stop till you finish. Explain that your bard can sing it much faster than you can--since he's had years of singing lessons and practice. If you're interrupted for any reason, roll a concentration check, if you succeed, start singing it over from the beginning. Especially funny if you don't know all the words.) 197. Ask for WoW pets for your Druid--every hour. (Ex. Purple Raptor) 198. Ask how much falling damage you take--at completely random times. 199. Have an internal monologue everyone can hear--be very offensive to NPC's (YAY FAMILY GUY). 200. Try to bluff your way out of EVERY situation. Your dice should never stop moving (Ex. Ask the door to become untrapped, convince the lock that you're really the key to unlock it--ask the Char Op boards). Edit: 200 is the correct number. Next one should be 201.
tiraelion 03-12-07, 12:02 PM	201: MAke a character who thinks he belong to another Class. Ex. DM: Roll initiative, Fighter you go first. Fighter: I RAise my hand and say "MIghty Pelor Guide my sword", I end my turn.
Romtos 03-12-07, 12:10 PM	Careful there. There are a lot of people out there (including myself) who have TS, and while I understand that you're referring to the type which involves the uncontrolled, yelling of obscenities, it is, by far, the least common type, and may not even be a manifestation of the disorder at all. It's also a little offensive, at least to me, when people reduce this disease to a stereotype based on something they've seen on a talk show, like Jerry Springer, or in a movie, like Deuce Bigalow Male Gigalo. Also, there's an 'e' at the end of the word Tourette's. ;) It's still annoying as hell to roleplay a Curseword Spewer, IMO. :D Just as it is annoying for your DM when you need a wheelchair. (202 BTW) Player: "Is this dungeon wheelchair proof? Are there slopes near the stairs?" DM: :raincloud
Ack 03-12-07, 12:15 PM	203. Make up silly or rhyming names for your characters. Halfwit the Halfling, Dorf the Dwarf, Delf the Elf, Whizzer the Wizard, Derrick the Cleric, Pogue the Rogue, Bag O'Rats the Fighter, Bob O'Ryan the Barbarian, Tomato the Sorcerer. Use these names every time you refer to your character. "Pogue the Rogue is going to attempt to pick the lock..." 204. Do a 'sporting voice over' every time your character does anything remotely significant - or anything at all, for that matter. Use the breathless type of voice they use in lawn-bowls tournaments. "Whizzer the Wizard is about to cast a spell. ... he gets out his spell components ... this is a very difficult monster to kill, so he intends to attempt a fireball spell ... a fireball is not something a novice can attempt, but Whizzer the Wizard is a pro at this. He should have no trouble ... he has the spell components in hand now ... he begins to cast ... you may recall that he attempted a fireball once before against this same kind of monster, but choked ... but he seems to have it well in hand now ... he is casting ... Yes! a successful casting of a difficult fireball spell ... now to see how the monster fared ... over to you, Bob."
JaracktheFoul 03-12-07, 07:42 PM	205. If you are approaching a caravan or really anything that has animals and there is an NPC there that needs to be spoken to - ask a whole lot of questions about the NPC of DM. (Such as what kind of race is he? Can I tell if he was weapons or guards? What color hair / clothes is he wearing? Does he seem friendly?...pretty much anything you can come up with) When the DM finishes telling you all the details say something like this. You: I approach the NPC. DM: Ok? And? You: I pull out my wand, staff, sword, dagger, staff,...And begin to violently attack his cow, chicken, horse, donkey, pig...whatever livestock the NPC has. This will **** the dm off...insist on rolling combat rounds and reflex saves versus the animal. It will also be funny to see what the DM does and the NPC's reaction. Ohh also if the npc attacks you ignore him and continue your reign of terror against his live stock. Or Subdue him with non lethal damage and force him to watch you finish the slaying of all his animal friends. Then bathe in the blood of the animals. When this is all kill and eat the NPC.
Lady_Dragon 03-13-07, 12:31 AM	206. Write down the name of every town, tavern, and NPC you encounter. Call the DM on it when he gets the name wrong later. >P
Cromage 03-13-07, 01:28 AM	207. Determine your actions by rolling a d100. Claim it's "Chaotic Neutral." 208. Bring a laptop. Play inappropriate background music (dramatic music for comedy, elevator music for combat) 209. Distract DM, then take minis off the battle map. Claim you defeated them several rounds back and the DM just forgot to remove them from initiative order. 210. Set the tavern on fire. You've just destroyed at LEAST three plot hooks. 211. When meeting with the King, immediately have your character take off their pants. 212. Remark that the latest plot arc, NPC, or plot device "is just like what happened" in another campaign run by a different DM. Constantly.
Wizard_of_Iceland 03-13-07, 10:45 AM	213. Play as any small race and take mounted combat feats and ride around on a dog goat or pig EVERYWHERE, into the pub, the temple even the throne room. Never get of the mount and when you go to sleep the mount shares the bed with you. I once played as a gnome evoker who rode his wolf everywhere, it drove the dm nuts and whenever things got to hot for comfort I rode of using the extra movement speed to escape. 214. Get a pack of piranha puddles and take them for walks, the dm starts hating them after a few sessions and tries to have them kill you so make sure that the puddles love you or/and were a full plate.