1001 ways to drive your DMs nuts [Archive] - Wizards Community

1001 ways to drive your DMs nuts [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Monk of Silence
06-12-05, 07:13 PM Well they've already done 1001 ways to drive ypur pcs insane know heres the oppisite :P .
Eliza_Stormwhisper
06-12-05, 09:04 PM 1. Create a thread titled "1001 Ways to Drive your DM Nuts"
TheErsatzFacsimileOfMe
06-12-05, 09:09 PM 2. Spend the time to actually come up with 1001 ways...
Monk of Silence
06-12-05, 09:12 PM 3.Reroll the same check over and over again wether or not you got it right.
Niveus Lynx
06-12-05, 09:21 PM 4. Create a munchkined character with an "unknown" age, sex, name, eye color, hair color, and background.
Niveus Lynx
06-12-05, 09:22 PM 5. Create a really, really odd signature.
Monk of Silence
06-12-05, 09:41 PM 5. Create a really, really odd signature.
Done
Niveus Lynx
06-12-05, 09:47 PM 6. Do any of these things.
Monk of Silence
06-12-05, 09:55 PM In the middle of a battle break out a bettles cd and make your charecter fail at break dancing to it. :embarrass
braindead345
06-12-05, 10:29 PM Take a marble and play soccer with your fellow players under the table.

Bring a deck of cards and start playing solitare at the table.

Torque him off by paying attention to what he says while doing either of the above.

Tell him you want to play a Kinder with Psionic powers for your next character. When he refuses, ask about a Kinder Necromancer.
snowlynx
06-12-05, 11:05 PM Invite your non-gamer friends to a session, and talk to them, ignoring the game. Later, complain that you didn't feel 'included' in the game. :mad:

(I was a player, not the DM, but yes, I am bitter.)
Steel Cobra
06-12-05, 11:22 PM OMG Im a DM and one of my PCs did that and well his cha died and now he doent play anymore
OrionNo9
06-12-05, 11:40 PM Do something then ask how to do that.

Example:
pc I will grapple him,

So how does grapple work?
Venom of the Yuan Ti
06-13-05, 07:41 AM Play a Bard and insist on "role playing" the bardic music ability...
"ing ing taki-taki- ying tang idle I po, ying tang idle I po, ing tang idle I po
Hear that crazy rhithm, driving you insane, strike you partner on the nut *smacks table* *second PC* Oh I felt no pain *1st Pc* ARGGHHH! Yung tang in ping..." and so on. Find a song that REALLY gets your DMs goat.
DuskyFruit
06-13-05, 07:50 AM I really like that you've put a "1001 ways to drive your DM nuts" in the "what's a player to do" board :D
Planar Wanderer
06-13-05, 08:24 AM Play a Bard and insist on "role playing" the bardic music ability...
"ing ing taki-taki- ying tang idle I po, ying tang idle I po, ing tang idle I po
Hear that crazy rhithm, driving you insane, strike you partner on the nut *smacks table* *second PC* Oh I felt no pain *1st Pc* ARGGHHH! Yung tang in ping..." and so on. Find a song that REALLY gets your DMs goat.
Yay for the goon show!

as for ways to drive your DM nuts, how about one I thought would have been mentioned earlier: create every charachter as a dual scimitar wielding CG drow with the same background :headexplo excuse me whilst I calm down and clean the grey matter off the walls....
The Man from Uncle
06-13-05, 09:24 AM Believe, after killing some minor minion of the BBEG, that the quest is over and leave the region to almost certain ruin, while remaining entirely in character.
Venom of the Yuan Ti
06-13-05, 10:46 AM Yay for the goon show!

:w00t: :cheer: :love: :tiphat: Another gooner!!! *Adds to buddy list*
Monk of Silence
06-13-05, 11:06 AM Play a Bard and insist on "role playing" the bardic music ability...
"ing ing taki-taki- ying tang idle I po, ying tang idle I po, ing tang idle I po
Hear that crazy rhithm, driving you insane, strike you partner on the nut *smacks table* *second PC* Oh I felt no pain *1st Pc* ARGGHHH! Yung tang in ping..." and so on. Find a song that REALLY gets your DMs goat. :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee
High Octane
06-13-05, 12:29 PM See my sig.
elven warriorXX
06-13-05, 05:52 PM See my sig.

true, so true. i just hope my players don't see it at the book store :shifty:
yonman
06-13-05, 05:56 PM 7. Invite an ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) kid to play who is not on his medication and watch him interrupt the DM's descriptive dialogue over and over and over and over and over and over.......
RogerWilco
06-13-05, 06:06 PM 12. Go the other way at all costs.
13. Loose his copy of the DMG you borrowed from him.
14. Kill your party.
15. Kill the DM-NPC.
16. Play a LE character that keeps doing good deeds 'to fool the others'.
17. All fail your spot check to find the hidden door that's the only way out.
18. Drip beer into his/her books.
19. Fail 20 rolls in a row.
20. Succeed on 20 rolls in a row.
HypnoticMonk
06-14-05, 12:21 PM Play a Bard and insist on "role playing" the bardic music ability...
"ing ing taki-taki- ying tang idle I po, ying tang idle I po, ing tang idle I po
Hear that crazy rhithm, driving you insane, strike you partner on the nut *smacks table* *second PC* Oh I felt no pain *1st Pc* ARGGHHH! Yung tang in ping..." and so on. Find a song that REALLY gets your DMs goat.

I find that singing either "I'm a little teapot" or "King Henry the 8th"(see the movie Ghost) over and over and over again works wonders to drive Any person nuts.
kam_Islash
06-14-05, 03:52 PM Constantly roll natural 20's

///
Ilikan Holyaxe
06-14-05, 05:15 PM bypass all campaign content with random plan (true story)
MT-296 "Dagger"
06-14-05, 05:41 PM http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=142565

http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?p=5769497

http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=386506

Brought to you by our Min/Max happy friends on the CO Boards! With a promise to drive your DM insane from FlubSquish Inc.
Taim Kelrathos
06-14-05, 05:45 PM Have your character walk right into his/her/its death, and the death of the party and end of his campaign, becasue to do so otherwise would be to metagame.
KoboldSlayer
06-14-05, 05:46 PM 26. Rattle your dice for an annoyingly long time after declaring your roll action. (It won't make them roll any better!)
This has the side effect of also making the other players want to throttle you, so beware.

27. Draw up a great character concept and/or history, then toss it to the wind in favor of random stupidity.
Ilikan Holyaxe
06-14-05, 07:25 PM 28: decide to sell that magical item he put in your loot (DM accidentaly put a "book of gainful excersize" in a level 2 module, before checking the price (110,000 gold, about enough to pay for an army of 1000 for three years, or 3000 for one year, fortunatly we gave it to the cleric, who devoured it's strength giving goodness)
Telaria
06-15-05, 12:26 AM *coughs* ADD. Not yours, the character's. Especially fun with a DM who likes ponderous speeches by DM PCs about how spiffy they are. On the other hand, not so healthy in the middle of battle.
Valgaav
06-15-05, 02:29 AM 7. Invite an ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) kid to play who is not on his medication and watch him interrupt the DM's descriptive dialogue over and over and over and over and over and over.......

Don't get me started; we run a game on Fridays at the local game shop that's Open-Call Intro to DnD...the group's Cleric brings his son along.

8 years old.

ADHD.

Plays a fighter named Thor...

:surrender
Eldurin
06-15-05, 07:01 AM 29. Insist that your PC's age is 3

30. Go to the bathroom every five minutes. Ask the DM to play for you while you are gone. Then go watch TV.

31. Ask "When do we level?" every five minutes.

32. Don't take two levels in the same class ever. See how many different classes you can take before taking two levels in the same class.

33. Use a dice instead of a miniature. Particularly your D20. Inisist on provoking an attack of opportunity everytime you pick up your dice to throw an attack or save.

34. Shoot magic missile. At the darkness. Every five minutes.

35. Play a LG Cleric who seeks to be a temple prosititute. If that does not freak anyone out, take levels in alienist, and be very weird about it.
Sapper2219
06-15-05, 07:30 AM Have your character walk right into his/her/its death, and the death of the party and end of his campaign, becasue to do so otherwise would be to metagame.

Happened last night....I'm still shaking my head in disbelief.....attack the orc outpost in the middle of the night (no pc's had dark vision)....after the DM hints...perhaps not strongly enough...that the ENTIRE FORT is awake...and milling about...
Ilikan Holyaxe
06-15-05, 10:44 AM use your spells only to get combat started with a sorcerer, then continue to hit things with a twig, when you have taken no feats to improve your combat in the slightest.

charge for heals

spend at least two hour each session conning villagers for cash.
Nykidemus
06-22-05, 04:52 AM I have a friend who made a dice roller in metalshop when we were in highschool. It was freeking two feet tall and made ENTIRELY OF STEEL. Yes, it sounds cool doesnt it, but first, it weights 40 pounds, takes up about a square foot of table space, it impossible to see over, and every time you roll a die down it it clangs and clangs for like ten seconds, only to echo for nearly a minute.

Do this. And make sure to roll all your D6 for fireball seperately.
LED6180
06-22-05, 09:51 AM Every session create a new character with the exact same race, class, name, and stats, only changing his weapons and feats. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
Zyphus
06-22-05, 01:55 PM 41. When you know where the BBEG's lair is, spend all of the session except for the last 15 minutes making elaborate plans and contingencies. Then during the "scouting" phase, barge right through the front entrance in a "surprise" attack and whine when you and your fellow PCs get slaughtered. When the DM pulls his hair out in frustration and yells "WHY DIDN'T YOU FOLLOW ANY OF YOUR PLANS?!!" say you really wanted to wrap this up today and were afraid you would forget your plans if you waited until next session.
Squirrel_of_the_Forrest
06-22-05, 03:49 PM 42. After every hit to a an NPC your party is fighting, ask "Is it dead yet?"

Actually had one of these in a campaign a year ago. The DM got so frustrated with it, he started to add 2hp back to the NPC everytime this kid asked "is it dead yet?" This started to happen only after the kid was warned 10 times not to ask that question. You can imagine how quickly the rest of the party would stop him from asking this, once HP started to get added on.
KoboldSlayer
06-22-05, 04:03 PM 42. Build a melee-intensive, meat-grinding monster paladin. Then hang back in the back because you're too cowardly and afraid of getting damaged and don't think you have enough hps. Meanwhile, those who really ARE short on hps, like your spellcasters, have to pick up the slack in the melee department.
AlRiKlv.3
06-22-05, 04:27 PM 43.a.Bring your iPod and listen to Heavy Metal at loudest volume.
b. Whenever the DM says something take out your headphones and scream loudly and obnoxiously WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!?!?
Monk of Silence
06-23-05, 11:51 AM Turn on the tv and sit there while the dm sits at the table waiting for you to play. :confused:
High Octane
06-23-05, 12:14 PM Installing a steering wheel in their pants will certainly drive DMs nuts.
Lacloix
06-23-05, 01:19 PM Installing a steering wheel in their pants will certainly drive DMs nuts.

:heehee

That one definitely got a chuckle out of me...
LED6180
06-23-05, 05:56 PM Spend an extremely long time making a character, and then when you're done say that you're bored and leave :P (during the session of course)

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Monk of Silence 06-12-05, 07:13 PM	Well they've already done 1001 ways to drive ypur pcs insane know heres the oppisite :P .
Eliza_Stormwhisper 06-12-05, 09:04 PM	1. Create a thread titled "1001 Ways to Drive your DM Nuts"
TheErsatzFacsimileOfMe 06-12-05, 09:09 PM	2. Spend the time to actually come up with 1001 ways...
Monk of Silence 06-12-05, 09:12 PM	3.Reroll the same check over and over again wether or not you got it right.
Niveus Lynx 06-12-05, 09:21 PM	4. Create a munchkined character with an "unknown" age, sex, name, eye color, hair color, and background.
Niveus Lynx 06-12-05, 09:22 PM	5. Create a really, really odd signature.
Monk of Silence 06-12-05, 09:41 PM	5. Create a really, really odd signature. Done
Niveus Lynx 06-12-05, 09:47 PM	6. Do any of these things.
Monk of Silence 06-12-05, 09:55 PM	In the middle of a battle break out a bettles cd and make your charecter fail at break dancing to it. :embarrass
braindead345 06-12-05, 10:29 PM	Take a marble and play soccer with your fellow players under the table. Bring a deck of cards and start playing solitare at the table. Torque him off by paying attention to what he says while doing either of the above. Tell him you want to play a Kinder with Psionic powers for your next character. When he refuses, ask about a Kinder Necromancer.
snowlynx 06-12-05, 11:05 PM	Invite your non-gamer friends to a session, and talk to them, ignoring the game. Later, complain that you didn't feel 'included' in the game. :mad: (I was a player, not the DM, but yes, I am bitter.)
Steel Cobra 06-12-05, 11:22 PM	OMG Im a DM and one of my PCs did that and well his cha died and now he doent play anymore
OrionNo9 06-12-05, 11:40 PM	Do something then ask how to do that. Example: pc I will grapple him, So how does grapple work?
Venom of the Yuan Ti 06-13-05, 07:41 AM	Play a Bard and insist on "role playing" the bardic music ability... "ing ing taki-taki- ying tang idle I po, ying tang idle I po, ing tang idle I po Hear that crazy rhithm, driving you insane, strike you partner on the nut smacks table second PC Oh I felt no pain 1st Pc ARGGHHH! Yung tang in ping..." and so on. Find a song that REALLY gets your DMs goat.
DuskyFruit 06-13-05, 07:50 AM	I really like that you've put a "1001 ways to drive your DM nuts" in the "what's a player to do" board :D
Planar Wanderer 06-13-05, 08:24 AM	Play a Bard and insist on "role playing" the bardic music ability... "ing ing taki-taki- ying tang idle I po, ying tang idle I po, ing tang idle I po Hear that crazy rhithm, driving you insane, strike you partner on the nut smacks table second PC Oh I felt no pain 1st Pc ARGGHHH! Yung tang in ping..." and so on. Find a song that REALLY gets your DMs goat. Yay for the goon show! as for ways to drive your DM nuts, how about one I thought would have been mentioned earlier: create every charachter as a dual scimitar wielding CG drow with the same background :headexplo excuse me whilst I calm down and clean the grey matter off the walls....
The Man from Uncle 06-13-05, 09:24 AM	Believe, after killing some minor minion of the BBEG, that the quest is over and leave the region to almost certain ruin, while remaining entirely in character.
Venom of the Yuan Ti 06-13-05, 10:46 AM	Yay for the goon show! :w00t: :cheer: :love: :tiphat: Another gooner!!! Adds to buddy list
Monk of Silence 06-13-05, 11:06 AM	Play a Bard and insist on "role playing" the bardic music ability... "ing ing taki-taki- ying tang idle I po, ying tang idle I po, ing tang idle I po Hear that crazy rhithm, driving you insane, strike you partner on the nut smacks table second PC Oh I felt no pain 1st Pc ARGGHHH! Yung tang in ping..." and so on. Find a song that REALLY gets your DMs goat. :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee
High Octane 06-13-05, 12:29 PM	See my sig.
elven warriorXX 06-13-05, 05:52 PM	See my sig. true, so true. i just hope my players don't see it at the book store :shifty:
yonman 06-13-05, 05:56 PM	7. Invite an ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) kid to play who is not on his medication and watch him interrupt the DM's descriptive dialogue over and over and over and over and over and over.......
RogerWilco 06-13-05, 06:06 PM	12. Go the other way at all costs. 13. Loose his copy of the DMG you borrowed from him. 14. Kill your party. 15. Kill the DM-NPC. 16. Play a LE character that keeps doing good deeds 'to fool the others'. 17. All fail your spot check to find the hidden door that's the only way out. 18. Drip beer into his/her books. 19. Fail 20 rolls in a row. 20. Succeed on 20 rolls in a row.
HypnoticMonk 06-14-05, 12:21 PM	Play a Bard and insist on "role playing" the bardic music ability... "ing ing taki-taki- ying tang idle I po, ying tang idle I po, ing tang idle I po Hear that crazy rhithm, driving you insane, strike you partner on the nut smacks table second PC Oh I felt no pain 1st Pc ARGGHHH! Yung tang in ping..." and so on. Find a song that REALLY gets your DMs goat. I find that singing either "I'm a little teapot" or "King Henry the 8th"(see the movie Ghost) over and over and over again works wonders to drive Any person nuts.
kam_Islash 06-14-05, 03:52 PM	Constantly roll natural 20's ///
Ilikan Holyaxe 06-14-05, 05:15 PM	bypass all campaign content with random plan (true story)
MT-296 "Dagger" 06-14-05, 05:41 PM	http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=142565 http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?p=5769497 http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=386506 Brought to you by our Min/Max happy friends on the CO Boards! With a promise to drive your DM insane from FlubSquish Inc.
Taim Kelrathos 06-14-05, 05:45 PM	Have your character walk right into his/her/its death, and the death of the party and end of his campaign, becasue to do so otherwise would be to metagame.
KoboldSlayer 06-14-05, 05:46 PM	26. Rattle your dice for an annoyingly long time after declaring your roll action. (It won't make them roll any better!) This has the side effect of also making the other players want to throttle you, so beware. 27. Draw up a great character concept and/or history, then toss it to the wind in favor of random stupidity.
Ilikan Holyaxe 06-14-05, 07:25 PM	28: decide to sell that magical item he put in your loot (DM accidentaly put a "book of gainful excersize" in a level 2 module, before checking the price (110,000 gold, about enough to pay for an army of 1000 for three years, or 3000 for one year, fortunatly we gave it to the cleric, who devoured it's strength giving goodness)
Telaria 06-15-05, 12:26 AM	coughs ADD. Not yours, the character's. Especially fun with a DM who likes ponderous speeches by DM PCs about how spiffy they are. On the other hand, not so healthy in the middle of battle.
Valgaav 06-15-05, 02:29 AM	7. Invite an ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) kid to play who is not on his medication and watch him interrupt the DM's descriptive dialogue over and over and over and over and over and over....... Don't get me started; we run a game on Fridays at the local game shop that's Open-Call Intro to DnD...the group's Cleric brings his son along. 8 years old. ADHD. Plays a fighter named Thor... :surrender
Eldurin 06-15-05, 07:01 AM	29. Insist that your PC's age is 3 30. Go to the bathroom every five minutes. Ask the DM to play for you while you are gone. Then go watch TV. 31. Ask "When do we level?" every five minutes. 32. Don't take two levels in the same class ever. See how many different classes you can take before taking two levels in the same class. 33. Use a dice instead of a miniature. Particularly your D20. Inisist on provoking an attack of opportunity everytime you pick up your dice to throw an attack or save. 34. Shoot magic missile. At the darkness. Every five minutes. 35. Play a LG Cleric who seeks to be a temple prosititute. If that does not freak anyone out, take levels in alienist, and be very weird about it.
Sapper2219 06-15-05, 07:30 AM	Have your character walk right into his/her/its death, and the death of the party and end of his campaign, becasue to do so otherwise would be to metagame. Happened last night....I'm still shaking my head in disbelief.....attack the orc outpost in the middle of the night (no pc's had dark vision)....after the DM hints...perhaps not strongly enough...that the ENTIRE FORT is awake...and milling about...
Ilikan Holyaxe 06-15-05, 10:44 AM	use your spells only to get combat started with a sorcerer, then continue to hit things with a twig, when you have taken no feats to improve your combat in the slightest. charge for heals spend at least two hour each session conning villagers for cash.
Nykidemus 06-22-05, 04:52 AM	I have a friend who made a dice roller in metalshop when we were in highschool. It was freeking two feet tall and made ENTIRELY OF STEEL. Yes, it sounds cool doesnt it, but first, it weights 40 pounds, takes up about a square foot of table space, it impossible to see over, and every time you roll a die down it it clangs and clangs for like ten seconds, only to echo for nearly a minute. Do this. And make sure to roll all your D6 for fireball seperately.
LED6180 06-22-05, 09:51 AM	Every session create a new character with the exact same race, class, name, and stats, only changing his weapons and feats. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
Zyphus 06-22-05, 01:55 PM	41. When you know where the BBEG's lair is, spend all of the session except for the last 15 minutes making elaborate plans and contingencies. Then during the "scouting" phase, barge right through the front entrance in a "surprise" attack and whine when you and your fellow PCs get slaughtered. When the DM pulls his hair out in frustration and yells "WHY DIDN'T YOU FOLLOW ANY OF YOUR PLANS?!!" say you really wanted to wrap this up today and were afraid you would forget your plans if you waited until next session.
Squirrel_of_the_Forrest 06-22-05, 03:49 PM	42. After every hit to a an NPC your party is fighting, ask "Is it dead yet?" Actually had one of these in a campaign a year ago. The DM got so frustrated with it, he started to add 2hp back to the NPC everytime this kid asked "is it dead yet?" This started to happen only after the kid was warned 10 times not to ask that question. You can imagine how quickly the rest of the party would stop him from asking this, once HP started to get added on.
KoboldSlayer 06-22-05, 04:03 PM	42. Build a melee-intensive, meat-grinding monster paladin. Then hang back in the back because you're too cowardly and afraid of getting damaged and don't think you have enough hps. Meanwhile, those who really ARE short on hps, like your spellcasters, have to pick up the slack in the melee department.
AlRiKlv.3 06-22-05, 04:27 PM	43.a.Bring your iPod and listen to Heavy Metal at loudest volume. b. Whenever the DM says something take out your headphones and scream loudly and obnoxiously WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!?!?
Monk of Silence 06-23-05, 11:51 AM	Turn on the tv and sit there while the dm sits at the table waiting for you to play. :confused:
High Octane 06-23-05, 12:14 PM	Installing a steering wheel in their pants will certainly drive DMs nuts.
Lacloix 06-23-05, 01:19 PM	Installing a steering wheel in their pants will certainly drive DMs nuts. :heehee That one definitely got a chuckle out of me...
LED6180 06-23-05, 05:56 PM	Spend an extremely long time making a character, and then when you're done say that you're bored and leave :P (during the session of course)