Post/Author/DateTime	Post
druidmaster312 08-30-05, 05:53 PM	You are encoumbered while naked
Saxis 08-30-05, 06:11 PM	Edit: Ahh, you actually mean weak, not just generally "underpowered". 2. You are unafraid of Ray of Enfeeblement, as it cannot hinder your score anymore!
1337 cheese theif 08-30-05, 06:47 PM	when rogues hit you without sneak attacks just as easily as when they do... Not too sure :thinks:
Duke 08-30-05, 06:49 PM	When you're trying to open a pickle jar, and the party wizard offers to help you out.
homey188 08-30-05, 07:15 PM	5 when you get tpked by a single zombie
Salookanana 08-30-05, 07:19 PM	When you are a wizard... :rolleyes:
OctoberRaven 08-30-05, 07:20 PM	You get lose consiousness on your first round of combat... By stepping on a caltrop.
JakeQuistis 08-30-05, 08:07 PM	When every Kobold is able to out-armwrestle you... With their pinky.
MarkB 08-30-05, 08:09 PM	...you have a penalty to your saving throws - at 5th level.
Card_Wizard 08-30-05, 08:15 PM	When you're character is so pathetic, that no amount of munchkinizing or min/maxing can help.
darkness ninja of light 08-30-05, 08:20 PM	You avoid preparing spells with somatic components. It's too much work. Don't even think about the material components or those wooden holy symbols, either.
Jaime_Wolf 08-30-05, 08:43 PM	Not even the CO boards can make you overpowered...
Shashu X 08-30-05, 08:51 PM	13) A sap(blackjack) is considered a heavy weapon for you.
The Spellsword 08-30-05, 09:24 PM	14) When you get beat up by a Commoner with a shovel.
Xaktsaroth 08-30-05, 09:28 PM	14) When you get beat up by a Commoner with a shovel. 15) When you get beat up by a Commoner without a shovel.
JakeQuistis 08-30-05, 09:34 PM	When you get killed by a tiny monstrous centipede... Because it crushed your body when you picked it up.
Rabidredneck 08-30-05, 10:23 PM	When you're beaten up by a pirate wielding a feathersword :D
Shaken, not Stunned 08-30-05, 10:33 PM	When the fall from taking a step forward deals 2d6 damage.
wonlee76 08-30-05, 10:49 PM	When the kobolds and goblins of the world seek you out for some easy xp.
JakeQuistis 08-30-05, 10:49 PM	When you take 2d6 damage each minute for living.
Wilds 08-30-05, 10:53 PM	you are forced to take 20 to pick up your pack
tharivol266 08-30-05, 10:56 PM	u need two hands to throw a shuriken
ShadowDragon8685 08-30-05, 11:00 PM	When your DM is handing out artifacts like candy, in the interests of trying to give you a fighting shot... At a kobold.
TheNatealator 08-30-05, 11:25 PM	24. Incorporeal creatures can knock your character over, without manifesting. 25. Your character sneezes and falls over. 26. Said character receives 3d6 falling damage. 27. Your character always misses, even on a natural 20 28. Your character has a negative BAB, before any modifiers whatsoever. 29. Penalties improve your character's stats (because they can't get any worse) 30. Strength and dexterity checks are required every round to see how much progress your character makes writing with a quill pen. 31. Your character isn't a barbarian, but is still illiterate. 32. Writing on your character sheet does damage to your character. 33. Your DM tells you that you don't have to roll any more dice for that character. It's assumed that he/she always fails every action. 34. The half-orc barbarian in the party has more INT 35. Your character's allignment is Chaotic Stupid 36. A blinded, confused, dazed, dazzled, deafened, disabled, entangled, exhausted, fascinated, flat-footed, helpless, nauseated, panicked, paralyzed, petrified, prone, sickened, staggered, stunned peasant without a shovel or any other weapon can TPK your character in one round (Yea, it's a little excessive, and no I didn't just copy a bunch of conditions in alphabetical order from the DMG <.< >.> ...yea)
Abalux 08-30-05, 11:29 PM	37. There is a pixie PC . . . who you hired as your porter :D
Salookanana 08-30-05, 11:29 PM	36. A blinded, confused, dazed, dazzled, deafened, disabled, entangled, exhausted, fascinated, flat-footed, helpless, nauseated, panicked, paralyzed, petrified, prone, sickened, staggered, stunned peasant without a shovel or any other weapon can TPK your character in one round ... by thinking hard.
JakeQuistis 08-30-05, 11:40 PM	38. You have to make a fort, will, and reflex save every hour to stay alive.
Pryrates 08-30-05, 11:41 PM	37. The party wizard always asks if he can arm wrestle you so he can feel better about himself. 38. You take the long way to work to avoid the halfling children that beat you up every day. 39: Gust of wind does as much damage to your character as a maximized fireball does to the other party members.
darkness ninja of light 08-31-05, 12:06 AM	40. Your party has faced perilous challenges to finally gain its 20th level. Congratulations! You're finally level 1! 41. You realize your character is weak when you see that you've forgotten to write his STR down on the character sheet.
Argon_Asimov 08-31-05, 12:19 AM	42 - DM: "Okay, combat starts, everyone roll initiative" You: "I draw my weapons and ready an action to attack whatever approaches" Bard: "No, get behind me, you can't handle these guys in melee" You: "What?! You're a Bard ffs!" DM: "No wait... he's got a point"
TheNatealator 08-31-05, 12:26 AM	43. As with 42, but with Wizard (no buff spells) instead of Bard This is hilarious, it's like the complete opposite of "1001 things Epic Characters can do" or whatever it's called. everyone should read that thread, too
DraconsNighthawk 08-31-05, 02:08 AM	44: When tiny rats breath a sigh of relief at you coming at them, because they know that you can't hurt them. 45: After epic treks, seriously overpowered badguys that crush your party, after even the gods bow down to you and reward you and your party, and your given a dagger - 1, because it'll improve your chances of winning. 46: Your always cold because it takes too much effort to put on clothes, and the pressure of said clothes would crush your lungs. 47: When the kobolds and goblins jump in joy at your threats, because they're so happy they're no longer exp fodder. and finally, at 48 after that character battle, your character is seriously weak, when he beats the trassaque.
Salookanana 08-31-05, 02:24 AM	49. When having a full bladder counts as a heavy encumberance... 50. Cant cast spells because those books are so damn heavy 51. And the componant pouch alone would break your hips! 52. lose arm wrestling with incorpials 53. Wizard shakes your hand and breaks your fingers. 54. If a bard plays a particularly loud note, there go your ear drums!
MarkB 08-31-05, 08:09 AM	When the kobolds and goblins of the world seek you out for some easy xp. When the kobolds and goblins stop seeking you out, because you're too small a challenge to earn them any XP.
babysamurai 08-31-05, 10:11 AM	A Gnome throws a carrot at you...and you die.
ShadowDragon8685 08-31-05, 10:21 AM	52. When you get angry, the DM makes you roll a fort save because yelling and taking deep breaths takes a lot out of you.
BrazilRascal 08-31-05, 10:51 AM	When you defend your usefulness to the party by mentioning a _Skill_. "Oh yeah? who's going to Appraise stuff if I'm gone, huh? HUH?"
MarkB 08-31-05, 11:03 AM	When the DM assigns you a CR with four digits in the bottom half of the fraction. When you take six class levels and two monstrous templates, in order to bring your ECL up to 1.
Nurgan_the_drunked 08-31-05, 11:27 AM	44: When tiny rats breath a sigh of relief at you coming at them, because they know that you can't hurt them. 54) ...And that sigh of relief knocks you off your feet 55) When a sandwich burns more calories from lifting it than it puts on eating it. 56) Your melee attacks do so little damage that people get better when you hit them Teehee. There's a kobold soreror in one of our parties who actually took Eschew materials because the weight of a component pouch was too much.
AramilWindwalker 08-31-05, 11:50 AM	A Gnome throws a carrot at you...and you die. a gnome throws a soggy carrot you, and you die
Germytech 08-31-05, 12:16 PM	14) When you get beat up by a Commoner with a shovel. WHAM! *dig, dig, dig*
TheNatealator 08-31-05, 03:44 PM	Please guys, count, and display the number before your stuff. The numbers have been off since the 13th post. 67. You can't remember to number each way to know your character is weak, and if you do, you put down the wrong number. 68. Your HP is less than your character level. 69. You can always be sneak attacked, since you are in a permanent state of "loss of dex to AC"
Rogue Newb 08-31-05, 04:08 PM	70.) You recieve tutoring from the barbarain in ancient greek. 71.) When you can be killed by a foe casting, and only casting, Augury 72.) When the simple revelation you go through upon hearing 42 kills you. YEAH Hg2g =) :dancin: :clap: :king: :bow:
darkness ninja of light 08-31-05, 07:40 PM	73.) During an adventure, the rest of the party finally considers you such a burden that they force you to stay in the bag of holding while they do all the "hard" work. 74.) You joined in as a level 5 fighter, but the DM keeps referring to you as "that NPC commoner" 75.) The only scenario the DM could come up with to introduce your character into the campaign that made sense takes place in the intensive care ward of a hospital. 76.) You realize you are wearing a red shirt.
Herald@Large 08-31-05, 07:41 PM	77. When you can't join in the adventure because you can't push your bedroom door open. 78. A party member has to feed you because you can't lift your spoon. 79. You pass out when a pretty girl winks at you. 80. Enemies get penalties because they're ROTFLTAO at the mere sight of you.
ShadowDragon8685 08-31-05, 08:01 PM	81. Your DM finds degraded gas spores and flumphs are too strong an enemy for you.
darkness ninja of light 08-31-05, 08:47 PM	82.) You've died so much that you've been everything on the Reincarnation list in both genders....twice. 83.) Everyone else in your party is a cleric because you can't survive otherwise. They take "healing shifts". 84.) You finally decide to refuse the ressurection attempts. Nothing can hurt you if you're already dead. The souls of commoners beat you up. 85.) When you die, you ascend into godhood. You are now the lesser god of weakness with the portfolio of death, pain, and wussiness.
UndeadMouse 09-01-05, 09:14 AM	86: a pixie drops a leaf on your foot... and you die 87: the rest of your party spends all thier money on healing potions for you 88: if you get hurt by any poison then you automatically die 89: crippled kobalds are stronger than you 90: a dead kobald has more charisma
Nurgan_the_drunked 09-01-05, 09:18 AM	91) You quested for decades in search of godhood... And now you can do a 1st level adventure
MarkB 09-01-05, 06:32 PM	92) You take Vow of Poverty so that you no longer have to worry about hitting Heavy encumbrance due to carrying 30 gp (in platinum) - and your AC still doesn't hit double figures.
solbergb 09-01-05, 07:56 PM	15) When you get beat up by a Commoner without a shovel. Actually I saw a goblin-with-shovel overcome a PC. Of course that PC endured a wave attack of goblins-with-shovels, but he was still chagrined when the goblin stole his backpack and ran away while the fight was raging elsewhere. Luckily for him an arrow dropped the malefactor before he got to cover.
MysticalDruid 09-01-05, 09:28 PM	16) When the barbarain who took five levels of commoner says "Dude what were you thinking designing a chracter like that?" 17) Your DM goes easy on you and gives you 100 toads to gain xp and you die in that encounter when the toads are tied up.
Loren Pechtel 09-01-05, 11:33 PM	You have to take a laxative to reduce your encumberance so you can get up.
TheNatealator 09-02-05, 06:41 AM	96. She's a monk, but still slower than a reduced personed halfling, wearing full plate. She also does less unarmed damage than said halfling.
darkness ninja of light 09-02-05, 10:28 AM	97.) To balance out their characters with yours, your DM had everyone else use a new method for generating ability scores- 1d6 drop the lowest.
konrad_the_tall 09-02-05, 10:41 AM	your first Hp reated comment when reaching 10th level is "ALLRIGHT! double figures!"
WizardlyFriend 09-02-05, 10:43 AM	you singlehandedly kill a rat in melee combat and brag about it for weeks
TheNatealator 09-02-05, 03:28 PM	100. You don't have enough strength to walk until increasing your STR score every four levels until epic levels. 101. He can be used as a barometer, because the slightest decrease in pressure (rain's coming) means he can walk, talk, etc. easier.
feartheinvinceblehamster 09-02-05, 04:04 PM	Yes! We Knocked Them Over With Our Battle Cry!
TheChilliGod 09-02-05, 04:34 PM	a gnome throws a soggy carrot you, and you die Saw that happen once... Actually a dwarf threw it, but 3 20's on the attack roll do that sort of thing. 103-The aforementioned pressure change (From #101) scares the character witless... the rain will pelt him to death!
Black Kitten 09-02-05, 06:29 PM	104 - When a 1st lvl wizard against your 20th level character tries to wield 2 bastard swords since he could use the practice. 105 - When the party's halfling monk dresses in heavy armor so the game of running is fair 106 - When the ugly stick (Cha becomes 4) makes you look 4 times better 107 - The Deck of Many Things only hold good surprises for you.
Dick Dastardly 09-02-05, 07:14 PM	108. you are an elf 109. you take combat lessons off of the parties kobold wizard 110. you cease to exist because being alive and being dead are too much of a strain on your being
MarkB 09-03-05, 06:52 AM	111.) You get pushed to the front of the party when facing vampires, because they take damage each time they energy drain you. 112.) Your body's reaction to any form of damage gives you effective Damage Reduction -20/-
Maevoth 09-05-05, 10:34 PM	113.) you roll a quintuple 20 with your goliath greathammer. and you still dont kill the commoner.... 114.) your ac is so low that your enemies accidentally hit you on fumbles. 115.) you cant take a bath beacause the water preassure would surelly crush your bones. 116.) you take the endurance feat just so you can sleep with blankets.
Jack_SSW 09-06-05, 12:57 PM	117: Feather fall increases your fall speed by 30/round 118: You have a negative Initiative 119: You have a negative grapple check 120: Any ability that gives you resistance or immunity to ANYTHING you cannot take. Matter of fact, you become extra-vunerable to whatever it was. 121: The word "Proficient" isn't on your character sheet... or in any of YOUR core rule books. 122: Your dawrf becomes enclumbered... after he gets mugged and shaved. 123: A cat killed you. 124: A toad killed you. (They can't even do damage) 125: The dieties are starting to regret making such an abomination. 126: The DM has tried EVERYTHING to force you to remake your character.
Black Kitten 09-06-05, 03:08 PM	126: The DM has tried EVERYTHING to force you to remake your character. 127 - You can't activate the Rod of Wonder (those things have touch-buttons in my game :-p)
TheNatealator 09-06-05, 03:39 PM	128. Spells cast you (even when not in Epic Soviet Russia (see 1001 Most out of control Epic level PC and there actions (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=301324))) 129. Spells that target a "creature" do not affect you. 130. You don't meet the prerequisites for class skills and abilities. 131. You're a [insert class you think is underpowered here]. 132. Your highest ability score is negative. 133. You get paper cuts from soft, blunt objects. (This thread is AWESOME)
Maevoth 09-06-05, 04:04 PM	118: You have a negative Initiative 119: You have a negative grapple check i actually have had a negative grapple check and initiative checks many times....its ez to have a negative grapple when ur a small spelcaster lvl 1 :D
Callista 09-06-05, 04:10 PM	*nods* Or if you're playing a Halfling or Gnome in any class. I like rogues; and my Halfling rogues often have negative Grapple checks for their first few levels, just due to size modifiers. 120. You arm-wrestle the wizard, and you lose 121. You arm-wrestle the wizard's familiar, and you still lose 122. You arm-wrestle an incorporeal creature without a Strength score... and you STILL lose.
Maevoth 09-06-05, 04:13 PM	121.) you don't have the abilitie to arm wrestle beacause air is to heavy. 122.) you need to lay down constantly or your hair will crush your skull. you can't shave either beacause losing your hair deals to much damage.
spoogemonkey 09-08-05, 05:51 PM	You don't even have to roll for hp when you level up..... you're only going to get ONE ...
BeyondFated 09-08-05, 06:11 PM	124) You followed the Hulking Hurler build to a 'T' and you still can't take out a goblin by yourself. 125) Wiliingly failing a save will actually get you a higher total than rolling a 20. 126) Wind Wall terrifies you; it might blow you away. While your standing 100 feet away. In another room. While in the etheral plane.
Loren Pechtel 09-09-05, 12:31 AM	You take VOP because you know you're too weak to carry anything anyway.
TheNatealator 09-09-05, 11:27 PM	128. you take vow of peace because you know your character can't hurt anything anyways. 129. The prayers your cleric makes to his god are so feeble, that her god thinks she's a heathen, and smites her (or just waits a second for her to die of natural causes). 130. She has more HP dead than alive.
The Forgotten Traveler 09-13-05, 07:06 AM	131: A gnome beats you in a fistfight. 132: Said gnome casts reduce person on himself and still wins. 133: He dies from being raised so many times his constitiution goes to 0.
Rhomphaia 09-13-05, 08:12 AM	107 - The Deck of Many Things only hold good surprises for you. I was gonna post something, but I don't think anything can beat that.
TheNatealator 09-16-05, 10:40 PM	Come on guys! Page 3? Don't let this die like all of these weak characters! 134. Your character can't speak Common (and he's not a weird monster race) 135. Your character needs about 10 templates to get a LA of +0 136. Every number on your character sheet is negative 137. You forget how to add due to previous statement. 138. Your DM lets you metagame to "even things out" 139. Your DM lets you take your character to the CO board 140. Eating is a challenge that uses up 25% of his resources. 141. Your character needs Haste cast on him so that he can take a standard action in a round. 142. He takes 1d10 falling damage per 10 feet. 143. You're trying to use 1.0 rules in 3.5 144. He is nonproficient in every single weapon in existence. 145. He's not fit enough to be an adventurer, so he developes a make-believe game to simulate what would happen if he were a good adventurer and doin what good adventurers do. 146. He cheats at this game. 147. He forgets things with Knowledge and Gather Information checks. 148. Raging, 3-int bezerkers don't even bother attacking you. They have better things to do. 149. He needs 48 straight hours of rest before he can prepare spells 150. 149 is a sorceror.