~*~dm~*~ [Archive] - Wizards Community - Pages Merged by Solauren

~*~dm~*~ [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
sekhmet
05-08-05, 02:53 AM My quick question is this:

My DM has been playing for about 12 years? I think. Anyway, I was wondering what do you do if your DM is intimidating and you feel uncomfrotable playing with him. The way he plays is with figures and whatnot, which doesn't really bother me, but when we're going around the table for rounds, he at times looks over me or doesn't acknowledge that I'm even there. I try to speak up, but sometimes that doesn't work either. I really enjoy my DM, but how do I change this? Responses needed. Thank You!! :cheer:
Neely
05-08-05, 03:50 AM If you're actually in working rounds when that happens (like when being in combat) then it could help to write down the position of the turns of each player, that way everybody--including your DM--can easily keep track of who's turn it is. And especially you, when you feel you're skipped you can point out at the paper that it actually was your turn, speaking out loud could do that or just grabbing some dice that is used at the time (unless every other player has their own set).

Now if it's a situation where no one really has a turn in a round and it's just about telling what you do (like being in a tavern and every player tells what he does) it's more up to the DM to make order in it. In the few session I've DM-ed I notice how easy you can accidently forget someone, mostly cuz she/he is sitting there quiet. I try to watch all my players and frequently ask those who say nothing or little "and what do you do?"

Now, again, that's the management of the DM and it is something you can do little about except go talk to him. Being DM is also being aware of the things that aren't said and being focussed on everything and everyone.
ehrin
05-08-05, 11:09 AM Talk to your DM in private, and ask "Sometimes when we play, i feel like I am too quiet. I don't always get your attention, and then i miss an action or round. How can I do better at being noticed in the group and keep my place in the game?"

that way, you are asking for advice... no insinuations, no threats, just a simple request for help.

if he ignores that, or still creeps you out, then you have to be more direct.
Duvanok
05-08-05, 02:39 PM I am confused. . . are you saying that your DM doesn't acknowledge when it is your turn, purposely skips you, or just give you the cold shoulder when it's your turn to act?

Is this the only "intimidation" he does?
sekhmet
05-08-05, 07:20 PM I don't think he purposefully skips me, and he does write down the order. There's six of play. We all sit in a circle at the table when we play. I end up sitting next to him on his right. He goes around the table in a circle for turns not in battle and of course he goes by Int. when we're in battle. It's happened a couple of times during the game. I have tried talking to him, but he apoligizes then it happens again. Sorry about that. Hopefully this clarifies some of it. :cheer:
DeathMagus
05-08-05, 08:27 PM I have tried talking to him, but he apoligizes then it happens again. Sorry about that. Hopefully this clarifies some of it. :cheer:

Apparently, it would seem you need to take care of yourself. Figure out the order of turns, figure out what you're going to do before it's your turn, and start talking IMMEDIATELY after the person before you finishes (make sure not to inturrupt). Your DM seems to be a nice guy (since he appologizes when he skips you), so he should not be offended.

But I don't understand what you mean by intimidating...is he just the sort of person that you don't like to inturrupt? ("Excuse me, it's my turn.") Or is he actively acting antagonistic?
mercurial67
05-08-05, 09:12 PM We all sit in a circle at the table when we play. I end up sitting next to him on his right.Try sitting in a different spot. It could be he just happens to miss you because of where you are sitting. If someone else gripes, tell them it's not assigned seating. (Alternatively, you could just tell them the problem you are having and that you want to see if sitting in a different spot allieviates the problem) Try right across from the DM.

Honestly, it can sometimes be easy to pay attention to what is in your direct field of vision.
sekhmet
05-08-05, 11:48 PM That might help, but he seems to be paying more attention to the people on his left. He is left handed. =-( I know this is a really stupid thing to be talking about. :cheer:
Annaylli
05-09-05, 12:16 PM As a DM I find I have a tendency to miss things said from a certain position on the table. For me it is to my left and is known around the group as my "deaf spot".

Basically if a player says something I don't respond to, they pretty much need to repeat it when they explicitly have my attention.
Crossover-Chronicler
05-10-05, 01:37 PM As a DM I do that alot (skip players' turns). Often it's this one player in particular. I feel horrible about it, 'cause I actually like the guy (he's the least offensive, least obnoxious, and generally all-around most-not-a-pain-in-my:censored: player at the table). I don't do it on purpose - it's just that I have to spend so much attention on the other jackals just to make sure they don't tear me apart...

Anyhow, think the best thing to do is to help him remember you're there - if that doesn't work, get the other players to help as well ("I'm glad it's my turn and all, but aren't you skipping Sekhmet?"). If everyone looks out for each other, things can go fairly well.
Johnny Cache
05-10-05, 04:31 PM You strike me as the type of person who often speaks more softly than they think they are, sekhmet. (I'm also guilty of that at times. That why I like boards like this - we all type at the same volume. :))

Here's a simple suggestion: when you start to talk, raise your hand. It's a simple visual cue to get the attention of a DM too used to high-volume speakers.
Ut-Napishtim
05-11-05, 02:29 AM Yeah, I'd say change places with someone else at the table to see if that helps. Sometimes it just can't be helped with some players. I don't mean you, I mean other players at the table. I was playing in a game once a while back where things were pretty chaotic, rather than add to it I just waited for my turn in the initiative order. When it came around to me I said: Okay, my Summon Monster goes off now and I put the Hell Hound here, (putting a model on the table.) Then this other player jumps in and goes: Hey, can I get this armor? (pointing to something in a supplement.) So then I sat and waited while the DM started looking at the book, thinking: What the :censored: we're in the middle of combat here.

After the matter of the armor was resolved the DM moved on to the person after me. So I said: HEY, I'm not done yet! The DM said: Well you summoned the Hell Hound, right? So I told him: Yeah, that was the completion of my full-round action started last round. Now the creature may attack, and I still get my actions for this round. So I (finally) got to go through and take my turn in the round. Sometimes you need to just clang some cymbals a little bit or something to get your actions in there. Normally I'm behind the screen, but I've found I still skip folks accidentally from time to time - and I even track the order and check off each person each round. Sometimes it just happens, and you've gotta be paying attention and go: HEY!
:ayyyy!:
Johnny Cache
05-11-05, 07:01 PM If things sometimes get really chaotic, like Ut-Napishtim's example, then just raising your hand probably won't cut it. :(

See if your DM will go for this idea: Get an easily-visible token, like one of the larger dragon minis or even just a sign saying "MY TURN!". When combat starts, the DM hands the token to the player with highest initiative. When that player's done, s/he hands it to the player with the next highest initiative, and so on. The player with the lowest initiative hands it to the first player when s/he's done. (The DM does not take the token when s/he does the NPCs' actions.) If the players get confused as to who they pass the token to, have the DM hand out cards with to the players at the start of combat with their place in the initiate order.

Then nothing can go wrong, go wrong, go wrong, go wrong.... :D

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
sekhmet 05-08-05, 02:53 AM	My quick question is this: My DM has been playing for about 12 years? I think. Anyway, I was wondering what do you do if your DM is intimidating and you feel uncomfrotable playing with him. The way he plays is with figures and whatnot, which doesn't really bother me, but when we're going around the table for rounds, he at times looks over me or doesn't acknowledge that I'm even there. I try to speak up, but sometimes that doesn't work either. I really enjoy my DM, but how do I change this? Responses needed. Thank You!! :cheer:
Neely 05-08-05, 03:50 AM	If you're actually in working rounds when that happens (like when being in combat) then it could help to write down the position of the turns of each player, that way everybody--including your DM--can easily keep track of who's turn it is. And especially you, when you feel you're skipped you can point out at the paper that it actually was your turn, speaking out loud could do that or just grabbing some dice that is used at the time (unless every other player has their own set). Now if it's a situation where no one really has a turn in a round and it's just about telling what you do (like being in a tavern and every player tells what he does) it's more up to the DM to make order in it. In the few session I've DM-ed I notice how easy you can accidently forget someone, mostly cuz she/he is sitting there quiet. I try to watch all my players and frequently ask those who say nothing or little "and what do you do?" Now, again, that's the management of the DM and it is something you can do little about except go talk to him. Being DM is also being aware of the things that aren't said and being focussed on everything and everyone.
ehrin 05-08-05, 11:09 AM	Talk to your DM in private, and ask "Sometimes when we play, i feel like I am too quiet. I don't always get your attention, and then i miss an action or round. How can I do better at being noticed in the group and keep my place in the game?" that way, you are asking for advice... no insinuations, no threats, just a simple request for help. if he ignores that, or still creeps you out, then you have to be more direct.
Duvanok 05-08-05, 02:39 PM	I am confused. . . are you saying that your DM doesn't acknowledge when it is your turn, purposely skips you, or just give you the cold shoulder when it's your turn to act? Is this the only "intimidation" he does?
sekhmet 05-08-05, 07:20 PM	I don't think he purposefully skips me, and he does write down the order. There's six of play. We all sit in a circle at the table when we play. I end up sitting next to him on his right. He goes around the table in a circle for turns not in battle and of course he goes by Int. when we're in battle. It's happened a couple of times during the game. I have tried talking to him, but he apoligizes then it happens again. Sorry about that. Hopefully this clarifies some of it. :cheer:
DeathMagus 05-08-05, 08:27 PM	I have tried talking to him, but he apoligizes then it happens again. Sorry about that. Hopefully this clarifies some of it. :cheer: Apparently, it would seem you need to take care of yourself. Figure out the order of turns, figure out what you're going to do before it's your turn, and start talking IMMEDIATELY after the person before you finishes (make sure not to inturrupt). Your DM seems to be a nice guy (since he appologizes when he skips you), so he should not be offended. But I don't understand what you mean by intimidating...is he just the sort of person that you don't like to inturrupt? ("Excuse me, it's my turn.") Or is he actively acting antagonistic?
mercurial67 05-08-05, 09:12 PM	We all sit in a circle at the table when we play. I end up sitting next to him on his right.Try sitting in a different spot. It could be he just happens to miss you because of where you are sitting. If someone else gripes, tell them it's not assigned seating. (Alternatively, you could just tell them the problem you are having and that you want to see if sitting in a different spot allieviates the problem) Try right across from the DM. Honestly, it can sometimes be easy to pay attention to what is in your direct field of vision.
sekhmet 05-08-05, 11:48 PM	That might help, but he seems to be paying more attention to the people on his left. He is left handed. =-( I know this is a really stupid thing to be talking about. :cheer:
Annaylli 05-09-05, 12:16 PM	As a DM I find I have a tendency to miss things said from a certain position on the table. For me it is to my left and is known around the group as my "deaf spot". Basically if a player says something I don't respond to, they pretty much need to repeat it when they explicitly have my attention.
Crossover-Chronicler 05-10-05, 01:37 PM	As a DM I do that alot (skip players' turns). Often it's this one player in particular. I feel horrible about it, 'cause I actually like the guy (he's the least offensive, least obnoxious, and generally all-around most-not-a-pain-in-my:censored: player at the table). I don't do it on purpose - it's just that I have to spend so much attention on the other jackals just to make sure they don't tear me apart... Anyhow, think the best thing to do is to help him remember you're there - if that doesn't work, get the other players to help as well ("I'm glad it's my turn and all, but aren't you skipping Sekhmet?"). If everyone looks out for each other, things can go fairly well.
Johnny Cache 05-10-05, 04:31 PM	You strike me as the type of person who often speaks more softly than they think they are, sekhmet. (I'm also guilty of that at times. That why I like boards like this - we all type at the same volume. :)) Here's a simple suggestion: when you start to talk, raise your hand. It's a simple visual cue to get the attention of a DM too used to high-volume speakers.
Ut-Napishtim 05-11-05, 02:29 AM	Yeah, I'd say change places with someone else at the table to see if that helps. Sometimes it just can't be helped with some players. I don't mean you, I mean other players at the table. I was playing in a game once a while back where things were pretty chaotic, rather than add to it I just waited for my turn in the initiative order. When it came around to me I said: Okay, my Summon Monster goes off now and I put the Hell Hound here, (putting a model on the table.) Then this other player jumps in and goes: Hey, can I get this armor? (pointing to something in a supplement.) So then I sat and waited while the DM started looking at the book, thinking: What the :censored: we're in the middle of combat here. After the matter of the armor was resolved the DM moved on to the person after me. So I said: HEY, I'm not done yet! The DM said: Well you summoned the Hell Hound, right? So I told him: Yeah, that was the completion of my full-round action started last round. Now the creature may attack, and I still get my actions for this round. So I (finally) got to go through and take my turn in the round. Sometimes you need to just clang some cymbals a little bit or something to get your actions in there. Normally I'm behind the screen, but I've found I still skip folks accidentally from time to time - and I even track the order and check off each person each round. Sometimes it just happens, and you've gotta be paying attention and go: HEY! :ayyyy!:
Johnny Cache 05-11-05, 07:01 PM	If things sometimes get really chaotic, like Ut-Napishtim's example, then just raising your hand probably won't cut it. :( See if your DM will go for this idea: Get an easily-visible token, like one of the larger dragon minis or even just a sign saying "MY TURN!". When combat starts, the DM hands the token to the player with highest initiative. When that player's done, s/he hands it to the player with the next highest initiative, and so on. The player with the lowest initiative hands it to the first player when s/he's done. (The DM does not take the token when s/he does the NPCs' actions.) If the players get confused as to who they pass the token to, have the DM hand out cards with to the players at the start of combat with their place in the initiate order. Then nothing can go wrong, go wrong, go wrong, go wrong.... :D