Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Tevant_the_Bard 08-16-05, 09:38 PM	In my game there is an evil lord that is getting married to a princess that he almost killed. I know the lords evil cause he killed my last character with a shambler for no reason. So I'm now a bard playing for her wedding. My party thinks that he enchanted these necklaces that the princess and the king started wearing and now she thinks the griffin that almost killed her rescued her from a great battle but its not true cause we were just walking. And of course the leader of my group (a paladin3) gave me the almost impossible task of getting the necklaces off i mean what am i supposed to do im only lv1 and only know a couple of cantrips.
ShadowDragon8685 08-16-05, 09:42 PM	First, smack your DM for making you come back at level 1 in a level 3 game. Second, you're a BARD. Woo the princess off her feet, shag her hard, destroy the necklace. Shag her again, an' when everything's done, why not a bit of shagging the princess? After all, how many times does even a bard get to do that? :)
Tevant_the_Bard 08-16-05, 09:48 PM	im not sure i can "shag" the princess but how am i gonna destroy the thing or even get close to her theres like a million guards around her, plus her fiancee is like a level 17 sorcerer that apparently enjoys killing me. although i do have level 10 power on my side, but if the princess finds out what im trying to do she'll kill me she's level 5.
ShadowDragon8685 08-16-05, 09:53 PM	You're a Bard. Those Perform checks and Diplomacy checks ain't for nothing. Charm her with music and poetry, make her heart flutter with poetry, then make her stomach flutter with a full monty chippendale routine. Or, if your DM is being a dick, you're boned, so you might as well haul out the hammer gun, nail his head to a wall, and walk.
Tevant_the_Bard 08-16-05, 09:58 PM	You're a Bard. Those Perform checks and Diplomacy checks ain't for nothing. Charm her with music and poetry, make her heart flutter with poetry, then make her stomach flutter with a full monty chippendale routine. Or, if your DM is being a dick, you're boned, so you might as well haul out the hammer gun, nail his head to a wall, and walk. oh yea well that makes sense i'll just have to get rid of the guards somehow
Phrennzy 08-16-05, 10:03 PM	"I'm a level 5 princess." :king:
Tevant_the_Bard 08-16-05, 10:07 PM	"I'm a level 5 princess." :king: my DM classifies her as a fighter and i wouldnt wanna mess with her
ShadowDragon8685 08-16-05, 10:50 PM	Does she wear skimpy leather, carry a bow and/or great/bastard sword, and give out war whoops, by any chance?
Tevant_the_Bard 08-16-05, 10:59 PM	Does she wear skimpy leather, carry a bow and/or great/bastard sword, and give out war whoops, by any chance? you hit the nail on the head
Argon_Asimov 08-16-05, 11:52 PM	Bardic Knowledge + Gather Information + Knowledge (nobility) ----> learn where she hangs out when she wants to shake those stodgy guards Diplomacy + Buff + Perform ----> woo the snot out of her Shag ---> Shag ---> more shagging, anyone? then comes the blatant lie (bluff check) "My leige lord has pressed me into service fighting in a petty war I stand no chance of surviving, if only I could have some token of your affection to comfort me in my trials, I may just previal..." BAAAMM!!! Thats a one-way ticket to necklace city!
Wizards_White_Knight 08-17-05, 12:17 AM	"I'm a level 5 princess." :king: Geez, you sound so Gay... :rimshot: :D WWK
ShadowDragon8685 08-17-05, 12:24 AM	Bardic Knowledge + Gather Information + Knowledge (nobility) ----> learn where she hangs out when she wants to shake those stodgy guards Diplomacy + Buff + Perform ----> woo the snot out of her Shag ---> Shag ---> more shagging, anyone? then comes the blatant lie (bluff check) "My leige lord has pressed me into service fighting in a petty war I stand no chance of surviving, if only I could have some token of your affection to comfort me in my trials, I may just previal..." BAAAMM!!! Thats a one-way ticket to necklace city! Or, possibly, pantsu. :)
Tevant_the_Bard 08-17-05, 11:04 AM	i'll keep those things in mind, but the thing is shes possesed by the necklace and wont listen to reason my last character in her party tried to get it of too (then again he was a dwarf) and personally if i was gonna shag anybody it'd be this Blackguard chick thats the fiances bodyguard
cambric 08-17-05, 12:43 PM	I think...you're screwed! I too play a bard, he's currently 2nd level and I'm focused on all the suggestions people have suggested here: You've been set up to fail!! You're perform skills aren't that great...you don't have any good spells, at least at 2nd level you could've tried "charm person" on her...but at 1st level, we're stuck. I would have a serious discussion with your dm...or send him here, because I don't see how you get out of this. Seriously, a 17th level sorcerer?!? He doesn't have stuff prepared or you watched??? Come on... Good luck. Cam
Tevant_the_Bard 08-17-05, 01:00 PM	i was thinking of using mage hand o the necklace cause it isn't very big, or at least fascinate her when the guards aren't around
^Graff_EpsilonIX 08-17-05, 01:00 PM	You can try to RP it out. It probably won't work, but at least you won't really get the sense that you failed because of the rules.
Tevant_the_Bard 08-17-05, 01:03 PM	You can try to RP it out. It probably won't work, but at least you won't really get the sense that you failed because of the rules. im sorry im a newb what does RP mean exactly??? o and i've recently figured out (from talking to the DM) hes only level 7 the sorcerer
UltimateReality 08-17-05, 06:09 PM	i was thinking of using mage hand o the necklace cause it isn't very big,Mage hand only works on unattended, mundane items. If the necklace is posessing her, it's an intelligent item in its own right and you can't use mage hand on it. You could, however, try a detect spell and see what alignment it registers as, then cast protection from <alignment> on her to suppress the dominate effect. I think. (PHB not handy atm.) RP=roleplaying.
Vacerious 08-17-05, 06:41 PM	I think...you're screwed! I too play a bard, he's currently 2nd level and I'm focused on all the suggestions people have suggested here: You've been set up to fail!! You're perform skills aren't that great...you don't have any good spells, at least at 2nd level you could've tried "charm person" on her...but at 1st level, we're stuck. I would have a serious discussion with your dm...or send him here, because I don't see how you get out of this. Seriously, a 17th level sorcerer?!? He doesn't have stuff prepared or you watched??? Come on... agreed. i think the proper way of proceeding through this dilemma is by taking your DM's Dungeon Master's Guide, show him the tiny print below the experience table that says " The table doesn't support awards for encounters eight or more Challenge Ratings higher than the character's level. If the party is taking on challenges that are far above their level, something strange is going on, etc. When your DM has read this sentence thoroughly, close the Dungeon Masters Guide calmly, then COMMENCE TO BEAT HIM BLOODY WITH HIS OWN BOOK! Honestly, your bard, at level one, can cast two cantrips. the evil 17th lvl sorceror, however, has 4 8th level spells, which includes spells like Horrid Wilting (all within 30 take, in this case, 17d6 damage unless they make a Fort. save, which is not the bard's strong point.) your DM has put you in a position that you cannot help with. your best bet, either wait for the calvalry to arrive (i.e. deus ex machina) or yell 'Sic Semper Tyranus!' and get yourself blow'd up and roll up a human fighter. ---edit--- sorry. i've got to learn to read. considering the sorceror is lvl 7 now, i have a question about your bard: what race is he? that might clear up why your bard is lvl 1. your best bet at this point is to wait for your paladin leader and the rest of your party to show up to stir up some chaos. then, when everyone else has their back turned to you, make some move silently and hide checks (hey, bards can be sneaky, too!) and steal the necklace from your lovely princess....then shag her...hard.
Murg 08-17-05, 08:13 PM	Drug her food. Take the necklace when she's unconscious.
red_scare87 08-17-05, 08:57 PM	Okay here's what you should do. Buy The Book of Eldritch Might by Monte Cook and make your bard into the bard variant from that book because they're so much better. Well, I guess not so much better as cooler. If you're gonna die, you might as well be cool doing it.
Vaalingrade Ashland 08-17-05, 09:06 PM	It's pickpockin' time, bardy boy. Fascinate everyone and have the rogue nab the necklace with a pickpocket tjeck.
UltimateReality 08-17-05, 09:25 PM	It's pickpockin' time, bardy boy. Fascinate everyone and have the rogue nab the necklace with a pickpocket tjeck. Oh damn. It just occurred to me, if the necklace is dominating the lovely princess, it's going to try and do the same to our bard. I hope you have some sort of muffling and storage device nearby to stash it away...a bag of holding would be ideal but I highly doubt you have one. You could also go at this from a different angle and try to get buddy-buddy with the king. Most DMs will expect you to head straight to "Step1: Woo the princess" instead. If it were my DM who put this situation to me, and I knew that he intended us to be able to steal the necklaces, I would probably surmise a plan that involves working myself into the palace staff, especially the personal servants of the king and/or princess. If they ever take the necklaces off, I would cover them in cloth and steal them. If they don't, I would wait until they're asleep, knock them unconscious with nonlethal damage, and steal the necklace(s) then. It will be hard to do both at once. Get the blackguard on board to help you. Bribe her with whatever you can. I would get close to her first, actually, now I think about it. Become her friend, suss out her motivations so you can judge whether to tell her the truth or make up some fabrication to get her to help you steal/destroy these things. I think destroying them is preferable to stealing them. You can always offer to replace them, and while the penalties are harsh, they might not be as harsh as flat-out stealing. (Any two-bit mage in the castle kept on retainer will have locate object for just such an occasion, anyway. You might find it useful to hide in a rope trick for awhile and destroy the item there, then dump the remains elsewhere or make a clean getaway if you can.)
the dmg 08-17-05, 11:12 PM	Bardic Knowledge + Gather Information + Knowledge (nobility) ----> learn where she hangs out when she wants to shake those stodgy guards Diplomacy + Buff + Perform ----> woo the snot out of her Shag ---> Shag ---> more shagging, anyone? then comes the blatant lie (bluff check) "My leige lord has pressed me into service fighting in a petty war I stand no chance of surviving, if only I could have some token of your affection to comfort me in my trials, I may just previal..." BAAAMM!!! Thats a one-way ticket to necklace city! Sounds like it could be a lot of fun to play out.
Tevant_the_Bard 08-18-05, 11:43 AM	well thanks for all the help i played last night and well got the necklace off by fascinating her, but unfortunately got blasted in the attempt so now i am a swashbuckler.
Phaylan the Drow 08-18-05, 11:48 AM	i think i stand by one of the previous by nail gunning the dm to the wall, the only hard thing next is where to put the nails........................... ;)
Vaalingrade Ashland 08-18-05, 03:52 PM	How many of the revenge fantasy vs DM posters have done any of this? And further more, why aren't you in jail or at least blacklisted by every DM in town?
A Bigmouth Bard 08-18-05, 05:19 PM	well thanks for all the help i played last night and well got the necklace off by fascinating her, but unfortunately got blasted in the attempt so now i am a swashbuckler. First, define "blasted"? :confused: Second, what would have happened if the lord was allowed to marry the princess/fighter?
Gedrin 08-19-05, 04:05 PM	Honestly, I'd just stage a magic show. Do a few amusing cantrips. Ask for the lady of honor to step out, then in the middle of the dinner, in front of everyone...take it off her neck. Performers do this sort of thing all the time as part of their show. What's the bad guy gonna do? Kill you in front of everyone for taking off a necklace?