Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Prelate 05-17-06, 11:32 AM	I am in a long running campaign that I enjoy IMMENSELY, I love my character, I love the world, and the DM is for the most part fantastic. However.. there is one player in the group that is intentionally disruptive, offensive, and just overall ruins the fun for the rest of us without regard. The DM is friends with all of the players, but not all of the players are friends (or better stated, we don't all interact with each other outside of this campaign). This disruptive player has a tendency to steal from the party, throw tantrums when things don't go his way, and just be a overall ass. The DM has made a habit of letting things go this players way, just to keep things smooth, but it's getting to the point of significant overbalance in the favor of this one person - at the expense of the rest of us. I'm not gaming to be an accessory to this players ego, if you know what I mean. I've communicated to the DM my unhappiness with this, but I'm afraid the DM is either scared to confront this player, or else just doesn't care about the situation. Either way I'm to the point of quitting the game over this. I'm looking for constructive suggestions that I can take up with the DM to offer as ways to restore some balance to the game. I really am having fun and don't want to leave, but when I spend half the night ****** off because of this one person, and the DM is not reeling them back into check, I see no reason to spend my free time doing this when I could be doing other things that don't aggravate me.
SokenzanMarauder 05-17-06, 11:54 AM	Well, if the DM and all the other players (exept the disruptive one) share your point of view, why doesn't the group of you just tell him to leave and find another group? Or maybe tell him to control himself. -Gene
DracoPhoenix 05-17-06, 11:55 AM	What's the social setting? Could you perhaps talk to the player and discretely find out what is causing the attitude? If neither the dm or he is prepared to change, start stealing from him, whinge when the dm acts against you and in general mimic the players behaviour. If the dm does move against you innocently explain you thought the behaviour was acceptable, as you had raised issues about it before. Bit more background info might be of help though. My general advice is usaually 1) talk about it in the order of offending member, dm, party 2)hammer gun (the joke answer, usually) 3)dm0/player0
Prelate 05-17-06, 12:10 PM	well the player is 35, can't hold a job, has his substance abuse issues, and is usually a decent player.. it's when he becomes petulant that he disrupts the entire game. The other players do agree with what I've expressed, and at the risk of sounding elitist.. most of them put up with it because they tend to not have many other choices in how to spend their social time. I'm sure everyone here knows the type - lovely people, but insecure, and tend to only socialize in a RPG environment. I'm honestly not sure why the player has not been asked to leave the group, other than the fact I think the DM wants to be the nice guy, and he -hates- confrontations, and he and the disruptive player have known each other a long time. I would not call them close friends, but they are friendly. I really enjoy the group overall, and as i said, I am loving the campaign - it is only that player's RL antics that detract from the fun. The DM keeps reassuring me he has things under control, but it's become apparent his idea of keeping control is to spoil a brat child.. not controlling an unruly/disruptive presence. I'm hoping to give the Dm some suggestions he can use to help control this player.. I've never DM'd (and don't really want to), so I want to offer something more than "he goes or I go". I was thinking of suggesting he just have the PC attacked by something that destroys/steals the "metagame gifts" of magic items, but then the actual problem is still not being addressed :(
Engilbrand 05-17-06, 12:14 PM	Your character doesn't notice that he has stuff missing and this one guy has a lot of stuff? Ehh? Have him start to notice things like this. Eventually, he should pick up the fact that a character is stealing. Once he gets his stuff back, or the monetary equivalent, there would be no reason to continue with this guy. Either someone makes a new character because a PC leaves the group, or you challenge him and fight him. If you make your concerns known, your friend the DM should do right by you and the other players. That might mean kicking out the other guy. Tough for him. If you invite an ass to a game, be prepared to get rid of him.
rijeagle 05-17-06, 12:25 PM	favoring one player over the others in not good. Explain to the DM that you and the other members of the group are tired of being second-class to this guy. Settle the issue, or it will end up messy for all involved (group breaks up, friendship breaks, fighting, etc etc) Fair is fair. I would suggest everyone sit down out-of-game and air your grievances. Set up rules of conduct with xp penalties in-game for breaking the rules. Stealing in-party should be frowned upon, and party members in-game should address the situation, unless you're playing evil characters. Engilbrand suggestion is solid and while hard, may end up being the best for all. Shape up or ship out.
Prelate 05-17-06, 12:41 PM	those are pretty much in line with what I figured I would do. I just wanted to check in to see if people had other suggestions. Thanks for the feedback, guys!
OravennasBrother 05-17-06, 01:02 PM	One player can drive off other players. I found that out in my campaign. In the years since 3.0 came out I have had the misfortune of having three separate disruptive players. One cost me two other players, who I would like to still have in my campaign. The second overlapped the first and third and cost me only one player (as it was the others who were worse and drove off players fairly quickly). The third Cost me at least three players before being banned from my game. The First two left of their own accord. Had I been quicker to ban playes I might have more than three in my current group (I would prefer Four, especially if I could add someone who would sometimes take DM duty) Yes I am choosy about adding new players; I like my current group dynamic and am loather to risk it. The lesson to be learned, for you and your DM, is that a single disruptive player WILL eventually destroy a group.
Bruunwald 05-17-06, 03:50 PM	I always love disruptive player threads. I have horror stories you wouldn't believe. But since brevity is the soul of wit: You need to frame this in strong terms the others will understand. This player is holding the game hostage. The DM is as much a victim in all of this as everyone else is, and you need to remind him - and the rest of the group - of that, and continue to urge them to boot this guy out. Without going into detail, let me assure you that I know exactly what I am talking about when I say that this player needs to go. We had a guy in the game for years who was like this. We were all longtime friends, getting rid of him was hard, but believe me - and you can show this to your DM - you don't want it to go so far that people begin fighting amongst themselves and quitting. Keeping this guy will do more longterm damage, not only to the current campaign, but to how all the players approach the game in general, than will asking him to leave. It took constant arguing, two major fights and the end of our friendship to get our disruptive player out of our game for good. The other players had an idea they'd be better off, but after the smoke cleared, and we resumed without him, they finally understood what I meant when I said he was holding us hostage. A disruptive player is not happy unless he is doing just that: centering the game around himself and controlling you through fear of his constant annoyance. Believe me, our games since his departure have been 1000% better. You need to not give up, and keep on your DM until he sees how unfair this is to everyone.
Prelate 05-17-06, 04:24 PM	it's just that special kind of "yuck" that no one enjoys dealing with. I'm the newest one in the group, and as such, am far less 'obliged' by the long term bonds of familiarity in the group. I just came back to gaming in November, and these guys have gamed together for 2-3 years, if not much longer in some cases. We've already removed one guy who was just terrible, and everyone immediately noticed an increase in our collective enjoyment of the game. Personally I think this other person should be dropped as well - he is the only 'loose cannon' in the group now.. the rest of us get along extremely well and have NO conflict between players. I just feel like I'm at risk of being perceived as a squeaky wheel because I gave the DM a "he goes or I go" on that individual as well. The fact that no one liked that individual does not make me feel more at ease in a second "demand".
Halfchair 05-17-06, 05:30 PM	Volunteer to take first watch and coup de grace his character while he sleeps.
MayhemST 05-17-06, 05:59 PM	Or hand the rogue a scythe and have him do it... ;)
Bulletproof_Condom 05-17-06, 08:52 PM	Kick his ass out. D&D's a game. Games are supposed to be fun. If something is making your game not fun, remove that thing. No need to get dramatic, no need to be delicate, just say to him, "You're being immature and hostile. Get out." These things usually sort themselves out real quick once someone in the group finds the testicular fortitude to say something.
Krug_the_smasher 05-17-06, 11:17 PM	Kick his ass out. D&D's a game. Games are supposed to be fun. If something is making your game not fun, remove that thing. No need to get dramatic, no need to be delicate, just say to him, "You're being immature and hostile. Get out." These things usually sort themselves out real quick once someone in the group finds the testicular fortitude to say something. Yes, or in game give him the message. Constantly target him with low-injury attack/spells until he gets the message you dont like him. If he fails to get the message by the end of the session, Hadoken his ass. Shoot a chain lightning/trip+full attack him. Just dont CdG him, because that will just **** him off. then ask him if he knows why you did that. If he knows, he will leave. If he doesnt, tell him-in the nicest way possible. Just dont be an ass about it, and laugh, poke fun, etc. at him. btw, nice name Bulletproof_Condom.
Tristan 05-17-06, 11:54 PM	well, for in game problems you could just figure out what is wrong and fix it. Discover the problems and fix it. as for attitude, dont be a kiss ass but dont provoke him. Ask his opinion and discuss stuff with him and your group as a whole. Perhaps he has some control issues (Controling himself and his life). If he puts in input and it helps the party then all the better. If he suggests something stupid, ease him into a simular but better idea, to give that "It was your idea, i just helped you" thing. Of course, from what I get I dont think who've told exactly what he does socially also, if all else fails, since you feel the DM is not doing anything about it, you could tie the steak on his neck. "Ok, i move here and attack" "Idiot, now I cant charge attack him." "Um ok, then instead I move over HERE and attack" DM"Hey, you cant do that, you already said what you where doing" ha, now its the DM's fault that the guy's plan was foiled, and he will have to pay for not assessing his players.
kelvinaw273 05-18-06, 03:58 AM	This is a difficult one, and no mistake. I would imagine that most players are torn between a desire to try to help their friend and a desire to have a good game. First, seperate the problems: The player is the main issue, as I see it. The guy has substance abuse issues, and probably does not realise how he is behaving, so you could make a point of it. When he gets disruptive make jokes about somebody doing a 'coke run' for him (or whatever his poison is), or comment that somebody has/hasn't scored recently. His first reaction might well be abusive, but don't be intimidated unless the other players ask you to stop, in which case you can reply that you are fed of having your game dictated by someone whose had a bad day and discuss the matter with them. You can also try talking to the guy yourself and explain as compassionately as you can that his antics are very noticable and are wrecking your enjoyment of the game. Now, as to the character, if the player leaves, problem solved. If he does not, but tries to clean his act up, you still have to deal with the character. Party stealers are not always an issue, but they usually are. The biggest handicap is that if you know as a player they are doing it it is harder for your character to 'notice' without being accused of 'metagaming' (some party-stealers will diliberately make sure you know as a player so they can accuse you of this when they are caught out). So IC mention to the other PCs that you have noticed one has a lot more stuff and cash than they should have, and set a trap for him. The Locked Box: a locked box is deliver to one character (not the problem one) with no key. Ask the party-stealer (who always seems to be a rogue) if he can open it for you. He'll ask to take it somewhere priovate 'to work on' and will deliver later in the day. Of course the box is a set-up - YOU had the box made, and put the contents in with signed witnesses who kept the key. As there is less in the box after the party-stealer returned it, you have proof of his dishonesty and have every right to keep an eye on him in future.
Prelate 05-18-06, 09:14 AM	well, we had a pleasant surprise last night, and the player announced he was leaving the game.. turns out he is afraid his crack-addict brother is going to steal and sell all his stuff if he leaves the house for more than an hour at a time. we quickly replaced him with another player we know to be more stable ;)
Gilean 05-18-06, 02:40 PM	Though it is slightly obsolete now; passive-agressively dealing with the matter in game (killing characters and all that jazz) will do nothing to help the situation. Player problems must be dealt with on player level. That said, these being D&D boards, you know where the guy lives. Kill him and take his stuff.
kelvinaw273 05-19-06, 06:49 PM	Glad to hear that it worked out for you guys in the end. I'm sorry to hear this guy still has major problems, though. I hope he and his brother sort themselves out.
Vaelan 05-19-06, 10:21 PM	That said, these being D&D boards, you know where the guy lives. Kill him and take his stuff. Seconded. Too bad he left. I'm betting the rest of the players would have enjoyed having their characters gang-stab his after the DM tried to address the issue rationally and the problematic player continued being problematic. Not only would it have relieved frustration, but it might have shown him that there are more important things in the game than his ego.
Krug_the_smasher 05-20-06, 12:51 AM	well, we had a pleasant surprise last night, and the player announced he was leaving the game.. turns out he is afraid his crack-addict brother is going to steal and sell all his stuff if he leaves the house for more than an hour at a time. we quickly replaced him with another player we know to be more stable ;) Hooray! Time to break out the cerimony mead, and have a PARTY! Hey everyone! Party at Prelate's House!