Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Aterum 08-15-06, 12:20 PM	Anyone ever have this problem? My DM has a girlfriend and she plays in his game. She constantly pokes, prods, and picks with him during game. She'll interrupt things to ask the most ridiculous, mundane questions ever. As the DM's girlfriend she has all the time they spend together (they live together) to ask these questions. Things like, "Which die do I roll?" "How does this spell work?" should have been dealt with long before game started. He is visibly frustrated/angered when she does this and he's constantly trying to get her to stop. He actually curses at her demanding she give it a rest but week after week it's the same thing. I'm not the only player annoyed with her behavoir and since my DM is trying to get her to stop but she won't asking him out of game to solve the problem isn't really going to help things. Last night (game night) she was being silly as usual while we were in the crypt of a vampire that was recently killed, waiting for his shantak's to return. We put exploding runes and primitive grenades around his coffin -- which she decided to set on fire. The coffin exploded and she got hit for 19 damage. The entire time she argued with her boyfriend (the DM) and she got mad that no one stopped her in character. We all wanted her to die at that moment... if only my character had a reason to kill her...
Bane 08-15-06, 12:44 PM	I suggest that there's nothing you can do about this. Let the DM know that everyone else in the group feels the same way about her, and let him make his own decisions. If it really gets to be too much to deal with, talk to the other players, and let the DM know that he can either lose one player, or he can keep one player.
gamertall 08-15-06, 01:45 PM	I agree with Bane. Have the DM set aside some time to deal with his girlfriend's questions outside the game. Another idea would be to have the DM turn the in-game question/answer sessions over the a player whose turn it is currently not. Then the DM can concentrate on the active player's turn. Or maybe find a new DM and see if she leaves the group. Harsh reaction, but hopefully not necessary.
Tordek 08-15-06, 01:52 PM	I recommend screaming loudly in german all of your character actions until she leaves the group. Get everyone else in the party to do the same. Seriously, if she keeps not having fun, she'll eventually leave.
Kainsin 08-15-06, 02:09 PM	Make her roll a new character that's a Fighter. Give her a longsword and place a d20 and a d8 in front of her. Now all of her questions can be answered with "the big die" or "the small die."
Aterum 08-15-06, 02:41 PM	I'm almost positive that my DM talks to her about her behavoir outside of game -- it's just things don't change. All of the people who DM games that I know of (I'm practically new to this) are playing in this campaign so if I leave, I leave D&D for good. Or at least until I can find another DM. After a recap is posted on our website, I will reply with my feelings about the situation. We're 8 months into the game and we're about to join the war that's been going on for months in-game. It's really time for players and their PCs to stop being stupid so we can get to the end of this... Kainsin: It's not just what to roll it's stuff like: "what if you throw something? Can you still pick it up? Does it break? Does it change your alignment?" Things like that. We all think she just does it for attention. Oddly enough, she's a really cool - and sane - person outside of game. I just don't understand what makes her act like that during game. Another example: Last night (game night) our Illithid NPC party member was talking to another PC about the history of this spell the PC had just learned. For no good reason, she throws a rock at the Illithid's head. I admit, I laughed my ass off at the absurdity of her action but only because I knew she was going to be in for it. He stormed off, cursing in his native tongue and she chased after him only to SMASH right into a force wall. She went on asking tons of questions about the force wall and subduel damage only making me laugh harder. Yet another story: During a different game, she attacks a Goliath with her barehands while holding her baby! The Goliath slugs her, the baby goes bouncing across the ground and she hits the floor. Hard.
Stumm_Dolch 08-15-06, 02:48 PM	I feel your pain bud. It is simultaneously hillarious and aggrevating as hell. The worst part, there is nothing you can do about it.
Aterum 08-15-06, 03:09 PM	I feel your pain bud. It is simultaneously hillarious and aggrevating as hell. The worst part, there is nothing you can do about it. I'm trying to think of a way for my character to kill hers. She's extremely vulnerable right now considering she's a favored soul who has lost the favor of her God.
PsychicKid 08-15-06, 03:16 PM	Make her roll a new character that's a Fighter. Give her a longsword and place a d20 and a d8 in front of her. Now all of her questions can be answered with "the big die" or "the small die." No, the feats would go right over her head. My solution is: Half-Orc Barbarian with our DM's NPC Point System (18, 16, 14, 12, 10, 8 for abilities) armed with a Great Sword. I would suggest Great Axe, but she might confused the d20 and d12. ;)
Pagan_Rogue 08-15-06, 04:09 PM	Our game has the exact same issue. Except ours is a druid and she doesn't understand how to play one. I feel your pain. The problem is that you can't make a DM choose between his game and his girlfriend. I think we would both come out on the losing end. Then we'd be without a game. I love gaming more than I hate playing with the GF. The best scenario? Let her keep making foolish decisions and playing her character stupidly. Eventually the DM will become so frustrated he will kill her off on his own, which would be more entertaining than if you offed her yourself. Then maybe she'll quit when she has to roll up a 1st level character.
IceStella 08-15-06, 04:24 PM	As a DM's Wife, who plays, I was really intrigued by your title. After having read the initial post here's my two cents. The DM and his girlf seem to have some relationship issues that are nothing to do with the game. That means you and the rest of the guys shouldn't really get involved. I know its bad form to bring issues into character, but we've all done it sometime. How would the group (minus girlf) feel about someone else opening up their home, allowing the game to be played in a more relaxing atmosphere? It would also mean that DM could say to girlf that he's popping out with the guys, and then get some free time. The game would be more fun without her. The DM could relax without girlf being there. And girlf could relax in her own home, without being surrounded by a munch of guys playing a game she barely understands. Cos from her point of view, regardless of right or wrong, she may feel invaded, that you all take time away from her and him, that she is deliberately isolated, or even that you all hate her. Women are irrational beings, there's no telling how we'll react to a given situation. So discuss moving the session with the guys, not in front of her, and give the DM the option to change things.
Aterum 08-15-06, 05:33 PM	Our game has the exact same issue. Except ours is a druid and she doesn't understand how to play one. I feel your pain. The problem is that you can't make a DM choose between his game and his girlfriend. I think we would both come out on the losing end. Then we'd be without a game. I love gaming more than I hate playing with the GF. The best scenario? Let her keep making foolish decisions and playing her character stupidly. Eventually the DM will become so frustrated he will kill her off on his own, which would be more entertaining than if you offed her yourself. Then maybe she'll quit when she has to roll up a 1st level character. It's not just that she asks stupid questions -- it's her behavoir during game that's really upsetting things. I think that she does this for attention and I'm not the only one who feels this way. Her boyfriend will be in the middle of describing a huge conflict and she'll interrup to say (out of character), "I'm going to bring in the rat. She's been acting wierd, she might be lonely." This is her pet rat in real life, not in game. Her boyfriend will quickly dismiss her to get back to the game but the damage has been done. She's interrupted the flow, whatever magic he was weaving has been ruined. She schedules any appointments she has hours before game so when it's time to game she's 'just out of it'. Or she'll visit family for the weekend and come back barely in time to play. Some times she doesn't play at all but she sits next to the DM and pouts and messes with him. We are good friends and I don't want to ruin that. There's no way for me to do anything... except complain here. Maybe she'll die (in game!) and I'll have a wonderful story to tell. Biggest problem: her character seems to be apart of the campaign's main storyline and this is her first D&D game.
Aterum 08-15-06, 05:47 PM	I recommend screaming loudly in german all of your character actions until she leaves the group. Get everyone else in the party to do the same. Seriously, if she keeps not having fun, she'll eventually leave. During last game I interrupted their interruptions with silly things: since she used to worship a Bug God I (OOC) pretended to be an ant using pencils as feelers while saying, "Gaaaaaaame, gaaaaaaame..." :: sigh ::
Karma 08-15-06, 06:24 PM	{SNIP} Biggest problem: her character seems to be apart of the campaign's main storyline and this is her first D&D game. Yeah, that would be a problem, but it also seems like the DM is penalizing her in game xxas well. Ultimately, it is up to the DM to resolve many of these issues, but at the same time, the other experienced players need to help her remember things without being hostile. If I knew my friendship was secure with the DM, I would flirt with her to distract her from being a distraction... but that is just me. Just try and understand that this seems like the kind of girl that would turn the nookie off if something in the game upsets her.
Mandarbgrim 08-15-06, 11:15 PM	hmmm...if it is about attention then everytime people laugh when she does something stupid..then that is just encouraging her. Different people play D&D for different reasons and see the game totally differently. She isn't taking it as seriously as the rest of the players. I doubt if she would want to play at all except that 1) Her boyfriend is DMing 2) She wishes to feel included.
Hedstrong 08-15-06, 11:52 PM	Sounds to me like she doesn't want to play so much as be with her boyfriend\buds. (which you say you all are) I know from experiance that when soemone doesn't want to play and is just there to be there they will do exactly this. Her picking on the DM is just like 99% of the time with uninterested people, looking for attention that isnt this game. She obviously has no actual interest in the game and so why bother with it. You say she hasn't changed besides many discussions with her boyfriend which should be the biggest clue that she isn't all that up to playing seriously. It's tiem to excuse her from your sessions. By the sounds of it she spends a lot of time away, so why not use that to your advantage? If she has any pattern to her at all you should be able to schedule games when she doesnt have the oppurtunity to play. Now you may think it's mean to purposefully play when she can't but she may not notice if you give her time for her boyfriend or time to be with her friends. (Although this works for some your mileage may vary, as do all women.) Then ofcourse it seems like they are having some relationship problems as well. I know I for one don't curse at my girlfriend unless soemthing more then a trivial game is bothering me. Having her boyfriend spend an evening with his focus completely spread out over a group of people, and thoughts 100% on a game may seem as silly to her as her actions to you. Perhaps she wishes to do something you guys in which more attention can be put on her rather then equally divided such as going to the movies. Never met a woman who liked getting an equal share yet. So in short, she obviously doesn't seem 'in' to the game so perhaps you should just stop trying and find somethign else to do with her and play later without her. P.S. I'd just like to voice my utter glee at not having this problem. My girlfriend abhors DND and all roleplaying games so i needn't worry any of my players feeling the backlash. It's actually a sort of game, she teasingly calls me a nerd and I laugh at her spending a weeks pay on shoes that deal 4D12 to her feet every step.
Kuraito 08-16-06, 02:04 AM	While I can understand your problem, I have a thought. How about, I dunno...being nice? I mean, really, like, go out of your way to be nice and helpful. Before you even start ask her if she has an questions. If she has a question in the middle of the game, ask her to hold it until it becomes an issue to avoid any interuptions, then let her ask her question and be helpful as possible. If you asked her if she really wanted to play now, while there has been conflict, even if she does want to play, she'll probably be put off enough to not want to play. Instead, I'd ask her what she'd like in the game. Also, I'd ask her what she liked so far about the game, so even if she IS bored, then you can try to change things to make it more fun for her. After awhile of being super nice and trying to help her like the game a bit more, if her activity continues, ask her if she really wants to play, again NICELY. Tell her that she should be honest. If she says no, then tell her that you would like to try to make the game fun for her, but if thats not possible, she shouldn't try to force herself into the game. If she claims to want to play, then ask her if anything is wrong and also discuss your greviences. Be frank, but also be nice and sympathetic. In the end of the day, it never hurts to just be nice and patient.
SodaGuy 08-16-06, 02:21 AM	Sounds to me like she doesn't want to play so much as be with her boyfriend\buds. That sounds about right to me. Maybe schedule a time for non-D&D hangin' out. Then she can do whatever without disrupting anything.
2y1y1z2 08-16-06, 03:16 AM	As a DM's Wife, who plays, I was really intrigued by your title. After having read the initial post here's my two cents. The DM and his girlf seem to have some relationship issues that are nothing to do with the game. That means you and the rest of the guys shouldn't really get involved. I know its bad form to bring issues into character, but we've all done it sometime. How would the group (minus girlf) feel about someone else opening up their home, allowing the game to be played in a more relaxing atmosphere? It would also mean that DM could say to girlf that he's popping out with the guys, and then get some free time. The game would be more fun without her. The DM could relax without girlf being there. And girlf could relax in her own home, without being surrounded by a munch of guys playing a game she barely understands. Cos from her point of view, regardless of right or wrong, she may feel invaded, that you all take time away from her and him, that she is deliberately isolated, or even that you all hate her. Women are irrational beings, there's no telling how we'll react to a given situation. So discuss moving the session with the guys, not in front of her, and give the DM the option to change things.Sounds to me like she doesn't want to play so much as be with her boyfriend\buds. (which you say you all are) I know from experiance that when soemone doesn't want to play and is just there to be there they will do exactly this. Her picking on the DM is just like 99% of the time with uninterested people, looking for attention that isnt this game. She obviously has no actual interest in the game and so why bother with it. You say she hasn't changed besides many discussions with her boyfriend which should be the biggest clue that she isn't all that up to playing seriously. It's tiem to excuse her from your sessions. By the sounds of it she spends a lot of time away, so why not use that to your advantage? If she has any pattern to her at all you should be able to schedule games when she doesnt have the oppurtunity to play. Now you may think it's mean to purposefully play when she can't but she may not notice if you give her time for her boyfriend or time to be with her friends. (Although this works for some your mileage may vary, as do all women.) Then ofcourse it seems like they are having some relationship problems as well. I know I for one don't curse at my girlfriend unless soemthing more then a trivial game is bothering me. Having her boyfriend spend an evening with his focus completely spread out over a group of people, and thoughts 100% on a game may seem as silly to her as her actions to you. Perhaps she wishes to do something you guys in which more attention can be put on her rather then equally divided such as going to the movies. Never met a woman who liked getting an equal share yet. So in short, she obviously doesn't seem 'in' to the game so perhaps you should just stop trying and find somethign else to do with her and play later without her. P.S. I'd just like to voice my utter glee at not having this problem. My girlfriend abhors DND and all roleplaying games so i needn't worry any of my players feeling the backlash. It's actually a sort of game, she teasingly calls me a nerd and I laugh at her spending a weeks pay on shoes that deal 4D12 to her feet every step.While I can understand your problem, I have a thought. How about, I dunno...being nice? I mean, really, like, go out of your way to be nice and helpful. Before you even start ask her if she has an questions. If she has a question in the middle of the game, ask her to hold it until it becomes an issue to avoid any interuptions, then let her ask her question and be helpful as possible. If you asked her if she really wanted to play now, while there has been conflict, even if she does want to play, she'll probably be put off enough to not want to play. Instead, I'd ask her what she'd like in the game. Also, I'd ask her what she liked so far about the game, so even if she IS bored, then you can try to change things to make it more fun for her. After awhile of being super nice and trying to help her like the game a bit more, if her activity continues, ask her if she really wants to play, again NICELY. Tell her that she should be honest. If she says no, then tell her that you would like to try to make the game fun for her, but if thats not possible, she shouldn't try to force herself into the game. If she claims to want to play, then ask her if anything is wrong and also discuss your greviences. Be frank, but also be nice and sympathetic. In the end of the day, it never hurts to just be nice and patient. All of these are very legitimateand agreeable opinions, but be wary. Some women (like my betrothed) will feel left out if you play without them, even if they're really not that interested in playing. It has been my experience that a majority of significant others (both male and female) have a mildly passing interest in their mates hobbies and feel like they should join in, even if their heart really isn't in it. Try this. Each player can use Out of Character Comment 3 times per game session with a maximum duration of 1 minute. Any uses of Out of Character Comment beyond the allotted 3 result in a cumulative 100 XP penalty (That is, 100 XP for a first infraction, 200 for a second resulting in a total of 300, 300 for a third resulting in a total of 600, etc.). This will help to eliminate frequent outbursts, as no one likes to lose XP, and will teach players to save all but their most important OOC stuff for later. Let's hope she begins to become a better player rather than just simply quitting the game (though from your explanations, either would seem to better the experience).
Wargamer 08-16-06, 05:16 AM	I've experienced a variation on this... a Boyfriend and Girlfriend in the same party. Ye gods... the number of times I've wanted to scream "THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME! IF YOU WANT TO *&£% HER THEN GO DO IT, STOP ^(£*"%)( MY GAME UP!" I mean, this girl seemed to spend 18 hours a day with him, and he is my friend... but is it so much to ask that, once a week, he stop sticking his tongue down her throat for a few hours? She dumped him in the end, it certainly improved my life considerably.
Jutter 08-16-06, 05:21 AM	On your side, it is indeed very annoying when someone grinds the game to a halt on a regular basis. And having a CS character in your party (setting explosive runes one fire) isn't exactly improving the social atmosphere around the table. On the other hand, keep in mind it's her first campaign, even though it's already running for 8 months. Don't judge her for not knowing the rules to the letter. After all, we all started out clueless. You might also want to explain to her that this is a team-game, as she might not understand this. I sincerely believe you should invest some time in this girl. If you improve her skills as a gamer, both as a roll-player and a role-player, it'll make everybody happy. Don't intervene in the relationship between these two people in any way. Because at the end of the week, they make up, and all of a sudden you're the bad-guy.
Voran 08-16-06, 05:52 AM	Make her roll a new character that's a Fighter. Give her a longsword and place a d20 and a d8 in front of her. Now all of her questions can be answered with "the big die" or "the small die." Sheer Genius :) Be glad she's just being slightly interrupting, I had a game back in the day where the DMs girlfriend played and would use sex to get her way with the DM. Guess whose character was the most powerful, had the best gear and never seemed to be a primary target?
Untamed_Soul 08-16-06, 07:57 AM	These posts always get me to read them because recently I've made the notion to allow my girlfriend to come to a game to watch to see if she likes it. The way she talks, she seems already interested in the idea and I have talked it over with the group and it was their idea to invite her to come (there is another female player in the game I think she craves a female partner to be with her vs. the guys) I won't really know if this is a good choice or not until I find out my gf wants to play (which the way it looks she will) but I was wondering how do other players feel when they see a bf & gf in a game? Is it immediate dread that you know from your last experiences that this is going to be bad? Or is there advice you can give on what to do to make it not so annoying? I'm in aggreance that the whole lovey dovey kissing and hugging crap is annoying at the table, but is there any other things that a couple can do that drives you up the wall as players during a game?
Tharin G'tal 08-16-06, 08:38 AM	Yep, favouritism. Was in a party once with a bf & gf the boy being a fighter and generally crap and the gf our cleric. She would buff and heal him first, no matter the situation, this cost us the lives of other characters more than once and he would protect her above all including leaving the wizards vulnerable if it looked like she might be attacked. Needless to say I was the wizard, the cleric got nuked by a 'misplaced' fireball in the end and the fighter turned on me both in and out of character. Not the best group i've been with.
Jutter 08-16-06, 09:27 AM	I won't really know if this is a good choice or not until I find out my gf wants to play (which the way it looks she will) but I was wondering how do other players feel when they see a bf & gf in a game? Is it immediate dread that you know from your last experiences that this is going to be bad? Or is there advice you can give on what to do to make it not so annoying? I DM, and my girlfriend plays in my game. I discussed it with her first and we agreed upon a few things: - First of all, no cuddling, kissing, etc. with other people present. Anything more than a little hello or goodbye kiss makes other people feel uncomfortable. (This is not a DND-only rule, by the way) - Second: at the table, she will be treated like any other player. - Third: when I doubt if she or another player gets the attack, I throw a dice to decide. - Fourth: whenever possible, rolls concerning her will be rolled openly. The next session I asked the other players if it was ok for me to bring her. Since they all like her outside the game, they were even glad I got her to play. I asked them to speak up immediately if, at any time, they thought I treated her differently than any other player. I never encountered any problems. But then again, I DO treat her as any other player around the table. And the players' ages differ between 24 and 28, so I have a pretty grown-up party.
Righter8 08-16-06, 10:11 AM	Try this. Each player can use Out of Character Comment 3 times per game session with a maximum duration of 1 minute. Any uses of Out of Character Comment beyond the allotted 3 result in a cumulative 100 XP penalty (That is, 100 XP for a first infraction, 200 for a second resulting in a total of 300, 300 for a third resulting in a total of 600, etc.). This will help to eliminate frequent outbursts, as no one likes to lose XP, and will teach players to save all but their most important OOC stuff for later. Let's hope she begins to become a better player rather than just simply quitting the game (though from your explanations, either would seem to better the experience). This is silly. From what I've read, this "player" doesn't care much for the game in general, I doubt she cares if she gets a penalty to her characters XP. Honestly, if she can't follow the rules laid out in the book, do you think she will follow these? I suggest that if she is a friend as you, Aterum, say, then talk to HER about it. Let her know out of game that what she is doing is disrupting the game, and your enjoyment. If everyone else is in agreement with you, you need to tell her this as a group, but don't gang up on her. That will most likely make it worse. Any suggestions to "make" her play this or that are counter productive. For the most part, her DMBF needs to have a serious outside of the game talk with her, without anyone around. Worse comes to worse, I suggest either starting a new group, or looking for one to join. D&D is a game. Games are supposed to be fun. If you aren't having fun because of someone else, what's the point in playing with that person? Good luck.
danielinthewolvesden 08-16-06, 10:50 AM	I'm trying to think of a way for my character to kill hers. She's extremely vulnerable right now considering she's a favored soul who has lost the favor of her God. Danielinthewolvesden's Law "Never try and solve an OOC problem IC" (or since we like to call things a Fallacy :D ) Danielinthewolvesden's Fallacy "Trying to solve an OOC problem IC". This is bad. Just tough it out. It's a lose-lose. Wait until they have broken up before saying anything or find another game. Don't argue with her or complain about her. In fact, try and ignore the problem, as worrying about it will just makes things worse. :surrender Maybe, just maybe, Righter8's idea of talking to her OC might work, but do it *nicely*. There is one thing even worse than this- when you have a DM with a DMPC who is having an IC affair with the DM's PC. :rolleyes: :noway: :allalone: :nonono:
UltimateReality 08-16-06, 01:21 PM	I was wondering how do other players feel when they see a bf & gf in a game? Is it immediate dread that you know from your last experiences that this is going to be bad? Or is there advice you can give on what to do to make it not so annoying? Oh wow. I've been the gf of the DM, and I've had gf/bf pairs. Let me tell you that generally, I'm pretty wary unless I know the couple. If I know them and like them enough to hang out with them and introduce them to D&D, they are probably not doing to stick their tongues down each others' throats for the whole session. I do my group(s) a favour and refrain from said activity myself when husband is with us. How to not be annoying? Don't engage in lots of PDAs or sappy terms of endearment. Don't argue about OOC stuff. Keep OOC discussion to a minimum, actually. Don't always make your characters lovers, or her character and your NPC. Don't favour her character if you're the DM.
Zelle 08-25-06, 11:19 AM	As a DM's GF myself, I actually have the reverse problem. I come to play! I spend enough time with my boyfriend outside the game, when I'm there to play the game, I'm there to play the game. The rest of the group however (his childhood buds,) despite that we "hang out" for hours before and hours after the session, still constantly interrupt the session by looking up wooden, uh, female sex toys on a laptop and showing everyone while an IC conversation is going on. And that's just an example. Twice in one session I endured endless frustration because first, my druid followed the barbarion who went outside the city walls to set up camp. "I squat down to watch him pitch his tent" was a source of endless giggles, same with "Are you going to come down off that horse?" later on. They suggested I rephrase that. So basically I should tiptoe around every mundane sentence and go out of my way to make sure it holds no trigger phrases for little boys. Ugh. At 24 you'd think they'd be past that stuff. (I'm 26.) Finally I nagged my boyfriend enough to the point where he actually set up a rule last time about no interrupting other people when they're doing something IC (yes, we NEEDED a rule, how sad is that, it should have gone without saying.) As well as he will now give small amounts of RP exp, simply to encourage people to actually do it, and not screw around. (He HATES RP exp, he feels it's like patting someone on the head for not crapping in their pants, something they should do anyways, but the point being, it's not happening.) Had one session with those rules in place so far, and the difference was huge. We ALL felt it went ALOT better. The really amusing thing is apparently his last GF was even more stringent about RP than I am, and would scream at them "I'm TRYING to play my f***ing character here!" When I was invited to RP, I actually expected RP.
Aliquid 08-25-06, 11:33 AM	I doubt if she would want to play at all except that 1) Her boyfriend is DMing 2) She wishes to feel included.Very true. She isn't a D&D player... she doesn't care about D&D. For her it is just a silly game, so she treats it that way. This of course can be very frustrating for people who want to take the game a bit more seriously. There really is nothing you can do about it. If you convince her to leave the game, then she will convince the DM to stop running the game. If she can't play, then he can't play.
FellBlade 08-25-06, 11:44 AM	Women are irrational beings, there's no telling how we'll react to a given situation. you posses a beauty and grace that is unsurpassed your husband is a blessed man that he has a wife whom understands this concept
Dorian_Dragen 08-25-06, 01:23 PM	Man I read your story and had flashbacks. In the 3rd game I ever played I had a wonderful DM, whose storytelling was imaginitive and vibrant he reall brought the world to life. He's the reason I'm still playing. Anyway his wife also played. She played a rogue/cleric of Bahumut. If this sounds as stupid to you as it does to me, well we are on the same stage. The DM tried to disuade her from doing this by making her sacrifice x amount of gold equal to her experience needed to level in cleric. No rogue would ever do this. By the way I was the party's true rogue, she just chose rogue to **** me off. Every time I would try to hide and sneak, she would follow screw up and give us both away. She complained so much the DM gave her a +4 defender rapier, I was livid. Stupid Char, stupid background story, stupid gameplay and she gets a +4 defender. At that time we were like level 5. So next time she leveled in cleric I rolled a sleight of hand check and stole about 50 gold from her sacrifice. The DM told every one to make a spot check which no one made. Her spell went off and since she didn't have enough gold to sacrifice to Bahumut, the spell blew up in her face, she didn't level and Bahumut was so angry she lost 500xp and Bahumut went silent to her prayers for 24hrs. The most satisfying pick pocket ever I'd say.
Brotha_T 08-25-06, 01:42 PM	I'm trying to think of a way for my character to kill hers. Bad idea. PvP is almost always the worst thing that can happen in a session. Not to mention, she seems like the type that would really get upset at it, and that would just lead to friction between you, her and the DM.
Aterum 08-25-06, 01:58 PM	I quit the game because of an unrelated reason.
Dorian_Dragen 08-25-06, 02:20 PM	Sorry to hear that, hope you find a better gaming experience soon. Dorian
Moon-Lancer 08-25-06, 08:27 PM	Sheer Genius :) Be glad she's just being slightly interrupting, I had a game back in the day where the DMs girlfriend played and would use sex to get her way with the DM. Guess whose character was the most powerful, had the best gear and never seemed to be a primary target? HA your sex powers are no match for my tiny imaginary world where your clothed in sexy chainmail bekenies and i cona... uh devman have a cape that flutters in th.... oh... your the dm? huh.... do i get a will save?
trefrog66 08-25-06, 09:20 PM	I am in two campaigns, differant DMs. The GF of one DM plays in his campaign, and the wife of the other DM plays in that campaign. So far we have NEVER had a problem in almost 4 years of gaming together. Because of this I say "Get a DM who can run a good, fair game." I know good DMs are at a premium, I've played under some horrible ones. But really the DM should be someone all the players can trust to manage the story and the group. If I'm having problems with another player (not charecter), I know I can talk to the DM and he'll sort it out, even if that means telling me to "ease up, give it a couple sessions and if you still feel that way let me know." Its a DMs responsibilty to make sure everyone is having a good time. Picture this scenario... A dinner party. A good friend of the host is having a little too much to drink and is making lude/rude :drool: comments to some of the other guests which he thinks is HILARIOUS. The host has an obligation to the rest of the people at the party to A) Tell him to ease up on the drinking B) Tell him he's making other guests uncomfortable and to cool out for a while C) Call him a cab and thank him for coming D) Put the roofie in HIS drink:zzz: If the host doesn't take care of that situation everyone has a ****** time and no one will want to come over anymore. As I see it this is the same thing as a problem at the table. DMs duty to do something.
Aeromus 08-25-06, 10:29 PM	If the female/male relationships in games I play in acted like this, I'd be a man and point it out. In the middle of the game. In front of everyone. Things like this happen because people are afraid of confrentation.
Nom 08-25-06, 11:41 PM	Two common issues in relationships. Both are problems. (1) The couple feels that they must do everything together. (2) The couple doesn't do anything together. You need to figure out whether she is unwilling to let her BF have "private hobbies", or whether she's doing this because otherwise she won't get any time with him. In either case, the solution is for the couple to sit down and actually plan out their social lives, making sure that they both have time apart and time together.
Starchaserva 08-26-06, 12:26 AM	I had a similiar problem once, a good friend of mine was starting up a game, and since it was his first time DMing, I agreed to not only play but to help him out in organizing everything. We found a couple of players, including his girlfriend, whom he swore up and down was really interested in D&D and really wanted to play. In the first couple of games, she would constantly forget the same rules that we had told her at least a half dozen times, wandered away from the party a couple of times, requiring DM intervention to not be killed, and at least twice fell asleep during the game. Oh, did I forget to mention that they were the type of couple who couldn't bear to be apart for more than ten minutes, and the only reason she joined was to be around him those extra couple of hours a week. Well, eventually, the game stopped due to him realizing she was dragging it down, combined with another player having a falling out with the group. Too bad. Anyway, my point, sometimes you have to deal with that sort of thing, and your only options are to speak up, keep quiet, or quit.
moonwolf 08-26-06, 02:40 PM	I've experienced a variation on this... a Boyfriend and Girlfriend in the same party. ive experienced the same, and the boyfriend play a elf, and the girlfriend a orc, and they even got theyre characters FRICKIN MARRIED!!!! what the hell?? its bad as it is, but do you have to use 2 races that almost kill each other on sight:confused:
Aeromus 08-26-06, 03:53 PM	I feel the need to further post on this topic. As my current group contains the following. A couple. Younger Brother of the Male in the Couple. Friend of everyone in the group. And, Myself. We all take turns DMing games, and the couple NEVER seem to give us problems in game. In a game where they are both players, the male teases the female, and the female actually hates the male. There is no lovey dovey omg I have to save him/her. In the game that the male of the couple runs, she is treated no differantly then another player. Aside from thier occaisional spots out of game, during breaks or while some of the rest of us RP out, they're pretty constant. And, I can't justify being angry because the couple "snuggle" or be cute when they're waiting thier turn. However this isn;t the norm of relationship couples. When my wife used to play with us. Before we got married and her hobbies changed. (Yeah it happens) I never treated her differently. Not when I DMed, or played alongside her. Unless you count that I paid more attention to her during character reation, then my more qualified to do it alone friends. She just didn't have the grasp of the rules we do. Maybe it's because her first language wasn't english. We never did any cutsey lovey dovey stuff in front of our friends. We both felt such displays where better off alone, in private. Our friends came over to play D&D not watch us suck face. And, I would certainly tell a couple that was doing that it's not polite.
Dracomortis 08-26-06, 07:21 PM	The problem, I think, is that the girlfriend of the DM doesn't understand what D&D really is: it's the epitome of the "guy's night out", something that friends can do together just to hang out and have fun. It shouldn't represent real-world situations or reflect relationships - your character shouldn't favor your girlfriend's character, for example. Having said that, I've never had a problem with couples in the game, either as a player or as the DM. Player/player couples tend to do better, simply because the events of the game don't favor one or the other, as the DM is (generally speaking) going to be impartial to both players. DM/player relationships can be trickier. With one or the other wielding pretty much ultimate power, it's very easy for them to favor their significant other, even without realizing it or meaning to do so. Interestingly, I've found that when it's the girlfriend who's the DM, the boyfriend actually has it worse than other players - they can't resist the opportunity to tease them.
Aeromus 08-26-06, 08:08 PM	If I were to DM a couple I would most likely take them both aside before we started at adopt a no-PDA during game hours rule. There is just no room for that kind of stuff around the gaming table. Come to play or don't come imho.