Post/Author/DateTime	Post
OgreMonk 05-03-07, 12:16 AM	I will get to the point. My group is playing with a new guy that has a disgusting habit. He rips large chunks of callus from the heels of his feet and eats them. He thinks nobody sees him. My friend and I have seen this behavior on a few occasions now. He is from a foreign country, I won't say which. He is a nice guy and quite smart. WTF should we do?
bobothechimp 05-03-07, 12:20 AM	What a condundrum. Have you tried, you know, maybe, perhaps, you could, I mean if you don't want to that's cool, but still, how about, something like, TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT?
MrSpaceBear 05-03-07, 02:42 AM	Mabye if you embarased him about it. Like every time he does that (which is way sick) every one aplauds :clap: or something. Or look over and say " Pick me a winner!" :rimshot: Good luck with it..... :yuck:
_Jayne_Cobb_ 05-03-07, 10:50 AM	WTF, are you gaming with Borat or something? Next time just say "Dude, that is f***ing disgusting. Stop doing that s***."
Puca 05-03-07, 11:01 AM	He is not, I presume, forcing others to eat his dead skin? If he were, you could really have a problem. If not, well, get over it. Most people have bad habits. Some of them are gross, but this doesnt really affect you; does it?
The Equalizer 05-03-07, 11:11 AM	I don't think I could sit there and watch as one of my fellow gamers or players was picking their callouses off of their heels and eating them. Though I see that you are a bit apprehensive as he might be a little hurt or embarrased or for what ever reason you might resist confronting him about it. If you are really, really disturbed by it, just tell the guy. Don't make him feel like crap about it, but just tell him. If everyone has seen him anyway, then it won't matter if ya'll guys just ask him to stop. I don't know, though. I think I'd tell him straight up. Be up front. " Hey, man, that's F****** nasty, please don't do that. Makes me a little queasy "
trapspringer 05-03-07, 02:49 PM	Wow. You hear that joke about a bunch of socially inept gamers putting up with some wierdo? Yea, me neither. Deal with the problem by talking to the person.
WHW4 05-03-07, 02:57 PM	Dude, that's about as bad as the time I gamed with someone who chewed tobacco at the table and used a clear water bottle to openly display it's gross contents to everyone. Just thinking about it makes me what to hork-up. As in all group dynamics, shame is the best weapon in the quest to conformity. After he does it, immediately tell him: "It's rude to eat in front of everyone if you didn't bring enough to share." That would work on me pretty quick.
Grand Theft Otto 05-03-07, 03:01 PM	If not, well, get over it. Most people have bad habits. Some of them are gross, but this doesnt really affect you; does it? WTF? Yes, yes it does. I guess if he whipped it out and rubbed one out at the table it would be kosher as well, because hey, it doesnt affect anyone else. Gamers should stop tolerating crap like this. Just because someone can roll the dice doesnt mean you should accept their disgusting behavior. Tell the spazz not to eat his feet in your presence.
Kusari_Gamer 05-03-07, 03:21 PM	WTF? Yes, yes it does. I guess if he whipped it out and rubbed one out at the table it would be kosher as well, because hey, it doesnt affect anyone else. Okay...who's the wise-ass that glued my character sheet to the table?
wrecan 05-03-07, 03:23 PM	Grand Theft Otto is wise and correct. Tell your friend to keep his shoes on. (No shoes, no service!) And make sure he washes his hands before putting his fingers in the chip bowl!
Cincinnati 05-03-07, 03:28 PM	This is extremely disgusting and would lead to a forcible ejection from the group if I were the DM. Especially since he is the "new guy." Bye bye, pseudo-cannibalistic weirdo!
Kintara 05-03-07, 04:18 PM	Look. I just don't believe you when you say that basically otherwise he's fine. Normal, cool people don't eat their callouses. They just don't. It might be forgivable if you are completely alone. Maybe. People do gross things when they are alone. But if he can't control himself when sitting right there at the table, then there is more wrong than that. And where he's from is no excuse. That's not an exotic custom. It's just a socially inept and gross habit. There's no country where people just sit around eating callouses. Now, I won't completely reject the notion that this is his one and only major problem, and all he really needs is just for you to call him on it. It's worth a shot, I guess. But I find the chances of that solving the situation laughably remote.
Cromag 05-03-07, 04:55 PM	I could feel some vomit in my throat reading this, clear indicator that this is a bad habit. I would ask him to stop or just quit the game. I would make it clear to the DM that is why I am quitting as well.
Puca 05-03-07, 05:16 PM	WTF? Yes, yes it does. I guess if he whipped it out and rubbed one out at the table it would be kosher as well, because hey, it doesnt affect anyone else. Gamers should stop tolerating crap like this. Just because someone can roll the dice doesnt mean you should accept their disgusting behavior. Tell the spazz not to eat his feet in your presence. I think there is a significant difference between public masturbation and picking at your feet. Just as you go to one extreme of grossness to make your point, one can go to the other. I game with a guy who (it seems to me) incessantly licks his fingers. I find that gross. What about a nail biter? I smoke? Wheres the line? We might all agree (I hope) that wanking at the gaming table is on the far side of it, but theres a lot of room between this situation and that one. I dont see that this merits anything beyond a “Hey dude, thats gross” comment.
Kintara 05-03-07, 05:20 PM	Puca, picking things off your body is one thing. Eating dead skin (from your FOOT) off your body is another. As far as gross behavior goes that pretty much takes the cake. I don't really get how you're not on board here.
wrecan 05-03-07, 05:21 PM	I think there is a significant difference between public masturbation and picking at your feet. Picking at your feet is less sanitary than public masturbation. Do you not have snacks when you game? No bottles of soda? Do you share dice? His callouses are all over your food, your dice, your papers... all over you. Wheres the line? Public indecency and sanitary behavior would, for me, be the bare minimum.
MrSpaceBear 05-03-07, 05:46 PM	Ok, just bring a metal bat to the next game and every time he goes to pick at something, brandish the bat and point at him. Problem Solved!!!!:thumbsup:
Grand Theft Otto 05-03-07, 06:19 PM	I think there is a significant difference between public masturbation and picking at your feet. Just as you go to one extreme of grossness to make your point, one can go to the other. Not just picking... picking and eating. Sorry man, its seriously nasty and socially inept to do that kind of stuff at the table. If you want to make yourself a toejam sandwich in the privacy of your own home, I'm really not going to stop you. I WILL still think its nasty. Part of joining a gaming group is realizing you're part of a team. "Dont be an ass" should be a universal house rule, and that applies to both in character and out of character behavior. Wheres the line? Wherever it is, when someone feels grossed out enough to post on a message bard, the other person has crossed it.
PhaedrusXY 05-03-07, 06:19 PM	Wow. That's pretty :censored: amazing. You'll be doing him a favor by telling him exactly how disgusting it is, and refusing to remain in his presence if he continues to do it in front of you. You're not being "tolerant" or "nice" by putting up with completely socially unacceptable behavior like this. You're just being meek, and doing the guy a disservice by not being straight-forward and honest with him.
Namation 05-03-07, 06:27 PM	I’ve had to deal with stuff like this surprisingly often, the trick is embarrassing them enough to stop, but no more then absolutely necessary. The next time he starts doing that foot eating thing, ask him if he would like to share. Preferably while smiling. If he doesn’t get the hint. He’s probably not worth gaming with. And if he does and is at least moderately cheeky and/or talkative he should be able to get out of it without hurting his pride to much.
FeceMan 05-03-07, 06:27 PM	Cut off his feet.
SokenzanMarauder 05-03-07, 06:37 PM	Cut off his feet. I agree. Then hit him in the face with a folding chair (all hail cryosilver). -Gene
OneBallJay 05-03-07, 08:25 PM	I’ve had to deal with stuff like this surprisingly often, the trick is embarrassing them enough to stop, but no more then absolutely necessary. The next time he starts doing that foot eating thing, ask him if he would like to share. Preferably while smiling. If he doesn’t get the hint. He’s probably not worth gaming with. And if he does and is at least moderately cheeky and/or talkative he should be able to get out of it without hurting his pride to much. Or how about "Looks like it's time to order pizza, [cannibal] is getting hungry." Escalate to more embarrassing things a couple times, and if he doesn't get the point... then use the folding chair.
CryoSilver 05-03-07, 08:58 PM	This guy sounds pretty sketchtastic. I've been to some crazy parties and myself been guilty of the "boot n' rally," but this takes the cake. Tell him to stop. And by "tell" I mean beat compliance into him. At my table, something like that would not be tolerated. I'm okay with a lot of stuff (most of my friends smoke, which is fine, since I do sometimes as well) and one chews tobacco and spits into a coffee mug. But eating foot skin? Dude.
weepingminotaur 05-03-07, 09:05 PM	Have ya tried, you know ... talking to him about his admittedly repulsive habit? Give him the chance to step up on his own before you start shaming him in public or booting him out of the group.
CryoSilver 05-03-07, 09:10 PM	Have ya tried, you know ... talking to him about his admittedly repulsive habit? Give him the chance to step up on his own before you start shaming him in public or booting him out of the group. What!? Let a gamer garner some self-esteem? This is AMERICA, boy; we ridicule and mock those D&D nerds, not build them up. If he was a REAL MAN, not a scrawny little geek, he'd be playing football, not D&D! I say you shame him as much as humanly possible! Wedgies, swirlies, tar-and-feathering; the whole nine yards!! That'll show him. Yeah.
Strudel_Lumpycakes 05-03-07, 09:17 PM	Next time he does it, just vomit. It'll get the point across and require little effort.
Holy_Beholder 05-03-07, 10:09 PM	Correction: Vomit on his character sheet, and Players Handbook.
MrSpaceBear 05-04-07, 01:20 AM	Im tell'in ya'!!! Metal bat, brandishing, pointing!!!!
weepingminotaur 05-04-07, 01:23 AM	If he was a REAL MAN, not a scrawny little geek, he'd be playing football, not D&D! What about D&D football? My Pocket Passer 4 / Scrambler 3 is maxed out in the Short Pass, Screen, Avoid Sack, Option Play, Draw, and Naked Bootleg skills. He also makes excellent use of his feats: Improved Audible, Improved Clock Management, and Throw on the Run. :)
MrSpaceBear 05-04-07, 01:49 AM	BRILLIANT!!!! (pass the guiness) D&D sports!!! I get to be the Gnome goal tender in the Blood Cup hocky leage. Just dont let Games Workshop know you infringed on their fantasy football game Blood Bowl.
PenderGrass 05-04-07, 03:18 AM	He is from a foreign country, I won't say which. Odd thing to say. He is a nice guy and quite smart. He likely realizes that there are still plenty of nutrients by consuming his own skin waste. WTF should we do? Nothing. You have put up with it this long. You'll get used to it - he did and he is quite smart. :dragon: ****
Skrimshaw 05-04-07, 08:22 AM	Next game, bring in a baggie of your own skin and nail clippings and offer it to him. Tell him you had extra and thought of him. "Hey everybody! I brought the munchies!" Mix em in with the chips! YUM!
trapspringer 05-04-07, 10:20 AM	What about D&D football? My Pocket Passer 4 / Scrambler 3 is maxed out in the Short Pass, Screen, Avoid Sack, Option Play, Draw, and Naked Bootleg skills. He also makes excellent use of his feats: Improved Audible, Improved Clock Management, and Throw on the Run. :) Goatball. Just sayin'.
Thamio 05-04-07, 10:30 AM	OK Im going to go on the wild side a bit and say, Have you ever tried eating the s*** off your feet, making him feel more comfortable?;) might be tasty
Puca 05-04-07, 10:38 AM	Picking at your feet is less sanitary than public masturbation. Do you not have snacks when you game? No bottles of soda? Do you share dice? His callouses are all over your food, your dice, your papers... all over you.You sound like a germaphobe or something. For the rest of the day, every time you touch something, door handle, drinking fountain, the up-arrow on the elevator, the lid on your pizza box, think first about the last person who might have touched it; then wonder what the last thing they touched was. Personally, Id be thrilled if it were their feet. :) Next time you walk through a sunbeam and see all those little dancing flecks of dust, know that as much of 80% of that dust is human skin. Then wonder whose. :) Not just picking... picking and eating. Sorry man, its seriously nasty and socially inept to do that kind of stuff at the table. If you want to make yourself a toejam sandwich in the privacy of your own home, I'm really not going to stop you. I WILL still think its nasty. Part of joining a gaming group is realizing you're part of a team. "Dont be an ass" should be a universal house rule, and that applies to both in character and out of character behavior.I agree: eating your dead skin is gross. I would say, “Hey, thats kinda gross.” But it seems like some people are really getting up in arms about something that in the grand scheme of things shouldnt be such a big deal. Considering all the real problems, how much of an impact should this really have? Wherever it is, when someone feels grossed out enough to post on a message bard, the other person has crossed it.:) Come on GTO. At some point, every possible behavior has been whined about by someone on an anonymous message board.
wrecan 05-04-07, 11:05 AM	You sound like a germaphobe or something. Hardly. I am someone who doesn't like people sticking their foot fungus in my potato chip bowl. Maybe that's just me. You sound like someone who is obsessed with public masturbation. See how easy it is to make gross generalization from a single comment? For the rest of the day, every time you touch something, door handle, drinking fountain, the up-arrow on the elevator, the lid on your pizza box, think first about the last person who might have touched it; then wonder what the last thing they touched was. Personally, Id be thrilled if it were their feet. :) You don't know much about feet, do you? You don't hear about people getting "athlete's hands". Moreover, it's not just his feet, but his foot callouses. Callouses are causes by repeated irritation, indicating frequent exposure, or a fungus or parasite. Next time you walk through a sunbeam and see all those little dancing flecks of dust, know that as much of 80% of that dust is human skin. Then wonder whose. :) I'm well aware of all of this. It doesn't take a germophobe to understand that picking at foot callouses at a gaming table is unsanitary.
_Jayne_Cobb_ 05-04-07, 11:17 AM	Not to mention the fact that feet are absolutley disgusting items. Just look at them and realize those mutated, smelly things used to be hands. >shudder< Whether he eats it or not - though the very idea suggests to me he is a foul individual with serious social issues - it is not acceptable behaviour to pick one's feet in front of other people, particularly when it is not your home, as it shows a fundamental disrespect for personal boundaries and the sensibilites of others. Anyone with so little concern for the group deserves no concern in return and he should be shamed for his repulsively antisocial behaviour. People in general seem far too willing to perform personal grooming in public nowadays and, quite frankly, it disgusts me. Any time I see someone clipping their nails in public I wait until I see a particularly large piece fly off, grab my eye, and yell "Arggh, my eye!" as loud as I can. Good times...good times...
Puca 05-04-07, 11:38 AM	Hardly. I am someone who doesn't like people sticking their foot fungus in my potato chip bowl. Maybe that's just me.Then dont share? Youre either worried about germs or not. If you are, then where they came from isnt important is it? Face it, you have little or no idea if the guy on the other side of the bowl washed his hands at all, do you? Your chips got a nice dusting of dead skin as soon as you put them in the bowl. You sound like someone who is obsessed with public masturbation. See how easy it is to make gross generalization from a single comment?Yeah, cuz Im the one who introduced that whole absurdity. You don't know much about feet, do you? You don't hear about people getting "athlete's hands". Moreover, it's not just his feet, but his foot callouses. Callouses are causes by repeated irritation, indicating frequent exposure, or a fungus or parasite.Or wearing sandals. :) I'm well aware of all of this. It doesn't take a germophobe to understand that picking at foot callouses at a gaming table is unsanitary.Im not saying it is. I didnt mean "germaphobe" to be insulting, but seriously, youre talking like this guy is about to start some plague because he picks at the dried skin on his feet.
wrecan 05-04-07, 12:08 PM	Then dont share? Youre either worried about germs or not. If you are, then where they came from isnt important is it? It's very important. The body is adapted to resisting common elements found in the air, like human skin, even fecal matter in small amounts. Foot fungus? No. Feet are actually unsanitary in away that casual human contact is not. you have little or no idea if the guy on the other side of the bowl washed his hands at all, do you? Well, if they're my friends, I think I have a pretty good idea how clean they are. Yeah, cuz Im the one who introduced that whole absurdity.And I'm not the one who introduced people picking their feet into the discussion. Pot. Kettle. Black. Or wearing sandals. :) No, not by wearing sandals. Unless you never wore sandals before. This is a regular occurrence, as described by the OP. That indicates a persistent problem. youre talking like this guy is about to start some plague because he picks at the dried skin on his feet. No, you're inferring that in ordet to make an argument ad extremis (which is another thing you accused Grand Theft Otto of doing). All I'm saying is that picking scabs off your feet is unsanitary to other people at the gaming table in a way that normal life is not. He's upped the ante, so to speak. It appears, from the way you try to minimize what's going on, that you don't actually believe that picking foot scabs is particularly unsanitary.
_Jayne_Cobb_ 05-04-07, 12:18 PM	Im not saying it is. I didnt mean "germaphobe" to be insulting, but seriously, youre talking like this guy is about to start some plague because he picks at the dried skin on his feet. He does it cos he is just a disgusting, selfish, socially-maladjusted pig. Plague has nothing to do with it.
wolf_man007 05-04-07, 12:25 PM	He is from a foreign country. Dadgum Brazilians with their... feet.
weepingminotaur 05-04-07, 12:36 PM	He does it cos he is just a disgusting, selfish, socially-maladjusted pig. Plague has nothing to do with it. Um, it's a health and hygiene issue, not a moral issue, despite your best efforts to turn it into one. The guy has a gross habit. If the rest of the group doesn't like it, they should come out and tell him so. If he persists, they should kick him out of the group. But for heaven's sake, let's get off the soapbox (pun intended) of moral rectitude here.
_Jayne_Cobb_ 05-04-07, 12:41 PM	Um, it's a health and hygiene issue, not a moral issue, despite your best efforts to turn it into one. The guy has a gross habit. If the rest of the group doesn't like it, they should come out and tell him so. If he persists, they should kick him out of the group. But for heaven's sake, let's get off the soapbox (pun intended) of moral rectitude here. It is both a hygiene issue and a social one. Morals have nothign to do with it. Partaking of disgusting habits shows a complete lack of respect for other people. That is selfish. What he is doing is no different than spitting on the floor or pi**ing all over the walls. He is a pig. I'd kick him out wihtout a second thought.
weepingminotaur 05-04-07, 01:31 PM	It is both a hygiene issue and a social one. Morals have nothign to do with it. I agree that morals should have nothing to do with it, but I don't think that's what you're doing. Partaking of disgusting habits shows a complete lack of respect for other people. That is selfish. What he is doing is no different than spitting on the floor or pi**ing all over the walls. He is a pig. I'd kick him out wihtout a second thought. See, right there is the moral judgment: selfish, disrespectful. You're making character assessments based on a personal habit. Essentially, you are casting aspersions on his character because he happens to have a habit you don't like. How is that not moral? I have a feeling that even if this guy cleaned up his act (har har) and he was in your group, you'd still kick him out, because it's not just about hygiene, it's that he's impinged on your idea of what is acceptable behaviour. And that, my friend, is an impingement on a moral code: "concerned with or adhering to the code of interpersonal behaviour that is considered right or acceptable in a particular society" (Oxford American Dictionaries definition of the word 'moral') Clearly, it's not about hygiene, it's about people being outraged because someone doesn't know what's socially right and wrong.
Kintara 05-04-07, 02:18 PM	Okay. If someone doesn't know that eating crusties off of his feet while in the company of other people is not allowed, I think it's a clear sign that there's something more going on than just someone not knowing the minor intricacies of social mores. That's not exactly a subtle example of proper social behavior. This isn't, "That disgusting barbarian is using the dinner fork for his salad." This is, "Eww, that guy just ate dead skin from his foot. I think there's something wrong with him." I don't find that chain of reasoning either flawed or unfair. Now, I understand that some of the posters here have been a bit harsh on the guy. I don't condone insulting him for this, but at the same time I'm highly skeptical that if he's honestly doing what the OP is saying that just a little discussion is going to do any good. Either he knows what he's doing is gross and is doing it anyway, which is rude and disturbing, or he doesn't and he's extremely socially inept and disturbing.
wrecan 05-04-07, 03:04 PM	See, right there is the moral judgment: selfish, disrespectful. JC's not condemning the man as a sinner. There are degrees to moral opprobation. I don't think it's improper to identify this person as being engaged in essentially selfish behavior by engaging in socially disapproved behavior in a public setting. That said, my main objection is on hygiene grounds, as set forth in my many responses to Puca, so I really don't know where you got the idea to write: Clearly, it's not about hygiene, it's about people being outraged because someone doesn't know what's socially right and wrong.
_Jayne_Cobb_ 05-04-07, 03:14 PM	Clearly, it's not about hygiene, it's about people being outraged because someone doesn't know what's socially right and wrong. No, clearly it is about people being disgusted cos he is doing something disgusting.
The Equalizer 05-04-07, 04:05 PM	I've spoken my peace, and laughed aloud through out this whole posting session between everyone here. There have been many things that I find humorous about this whole topic. Listen. Let us not make this into something that it isn't. The guy eats callouses off of his feet. In my book, that is nasty. I'm assuming this guy is an adult, which makes it even more disturbing as I could see a little kid eating his scabs, but not a grown man. The same applies here, only with.....callouses. This is just something that is nasty, plain and simple. Nothing intricate or complicated about it. I find it a little strange, repulsive. I already suggested what I would do, though, and will not repeat myself. So there. Take that as you will.
mearrin69 05-04-07, 06:57 PM	I believe that the OP was pulling a fast one on us. I do. Completely made it up for the enjoyment of the boards. God, I hope that helps me sleep tonight. :weep: M Oh, BTW, EWWW!
Kintara 05-04-07, 07:59 PM	I believe that the OP was pulling a fast one on us. I do. Completely made it up for the enjoyment of the boards. God, I hope that helps me sleep tonight. :weep: M Oh, BTW, EWWW!Unfortunately, similarly gross behavior does exist. The stories are out there. It's not common, but it's there. Edit: It's worth pointing out that he hasn't posted any follow-up responses, though, which is common with trolling.
OgreMonk 05-04-07, 09:16 PM	No trolling going on here. Just wanted some input. Thanks.
wrecan 05-04-07, 11:17 PM	So, OgreMonk, what have you decided to do about this. Let us know what happens!!!
vagabonvoid 05-05-07, 12:00 AM	OK, here’s the plan… First, get him a girlfriend and make sure she does not know about the foot-eating. Next, wait for her to find out… There will be one of two outcomes. 1: She makes him change his ways by threatening to leave him and tell every girl she meets about him (resulting in his eternal virginity). 2: It might turn out they both will have this cannibalistic foot fetish and they start eating each other’s tissue… Either way, this guy needs to learn certain important rules of public decency and hygiene.
WhiteRaven810 05-05-07, 03:49 AM	The Plan Step One: Talk to the guy away from the group. Be straight foward and firm without going to the extreme of being an ass hat. Step One and a Half: If he denies wrong doing, just say "Okay man, I was mistaken". Step Two: Play D&D. Step Three: Next time he eats his foot skin, mock the Hell out of him. Step Four: If he does it again, immediately and without pause eject him from your group.
SokenzanMarauder 05-05-07, 10:46 AM	You guys are both missing the final step... Step X: Profit! :ayyyy!: -Gene
AtmaWeapon 05-05-07, 12:40 PM	More gamers just need to take a stand against this crap. I agree with earlier sentiment. You say he's from another country? WHO CARES. I don't care what culture you're from, this is a physically repugnant behavior that is completely and totally socially inacceptible in anywhere but perhaps the most DESTITUTE of 3rd world nations. Quite frankly I don't know how you *Haven't* said anything. I don't think I'd be able to stop myself from yelling "Dude, WTF?!", and I am normally a quite composed person. Show him the door, before he becomes a permanent fixture. No one should EVER have to feel uncomfortable or put out by someone's disgusting behavior during something that is supposed to be enjoyable, and is not usually conducted in a private venue.
Callista 05-05-07, 08:38 PM	Just tell him to stop because he's grossing you out. If he's a decent person, he'll stop. If he won't stop even when he's told he's bothering you, then he's being a jerk and you have a right to kick him out. He's probably just socially inept and doesn't know doing gross stuff in public isn't going to help anybody. Assuming he's insane is really overboard... it's probably just Asperger's or something. I'm a socially inept Aspie myself. Granted, I've never eaten my calluses in public, but I often say things that are totally rude, such as casually mentioning someone's obesity, while being completely clueless that they'd be hurt by what I said. It used to be much worse--I didn't shower regularly until I was in college. The only reason I've changed since then is that people have had the guts to tell me that what I was doing wasn't socially acceptable. Not everyone naturally understands rules of social conduct or has a mental list of "what you Just Don't Do". People who aren't naturally good at learning this stuff have to be told explicitly; and the sooner, the better. We don't just pick up on it. I've had to be told some rather embarassing stuff in the past; but beyond the embarassment, I was always grateful. It's much easier to be told, than to have people secretly annoyed with you for a long time; because if they don't tell you, you find out sooner or later and by then any chance of a friendship is gone--not to mention, you feel really guilty that you annoyed or hurt them for such a long time, and had no clue you were doing it. Have some sympathy. It's not his fault he rolled a low Charisma score.
Kintara 05-06-07, 03:01 AM	Callista, I think you're being a little too charitable. Even people without Asperger's can say rude things unintentionally or have deficits in hygiene. Now I don't know what's going on with this guy, and I'm not a judgmental person by any stretch of the imagination (if anything, I hesitate too much to judge), but certain things indicate a lack that probably isn't going to be overcome any time soon. To put it quite plainly, it's sounds to me like it's going to be more trouble than it's worth to play with this guy. Now there's nothing wrong with being honest and forthright, but it shouldn't be this group's job to pull someone like this along when he just isn't ready. Of course I can't make any judgments for sure, but then I don't believe in absolutes anyway.
Fatalis_902 05-06-07, 05:20 PM	I've read this all the way through, and I can safely say that this is the grossest thing I've ever heard of. And I've heard of some pretty gross things. That said, you just need to tell him that he is grossing you out and ask him to stop eating from his feet in your presence. Also, I fully support having him wash his hands upon arrival at the session, and anytime he leaves your sight for more than 15 seconds. If this doesn't work, then you should move on to the thing about metal bats. You know, brandishing, pointing, hitting, all that good stuff. If that doesn't work, than I happily popint you to Cryosilver's Handy Guide to Dealing with the Steve in Your D&D Game Guide (http://www.geocities.com/absolutecryogenic/dnd/steve.pdf). If that doesn't fix him, nothing will.
Anaxander 05-07-07, 08:41 AM	It's gross because it's a cultural taboo, like nose picking or nail biting, which are very common habits, but, if you think of it, equally disgusting. The real problem is not the act of 'callus chewing' itself, but the transformation of this pecularity into a compulsive behaviour: even if he's in a social situation where 'callus chewing' is a taboo, he cannot stop doing it. He's an addicted callus chewer! Perhaps he does it when he's nervous. We have someone at our gaming table who starts trembling with his feet when the excitment grows until the floor itself is vibrating. Talking to him in private seems the best solution, because it's honest and direct, but I do not think it will be easy to touch upon the subject in a subtle way, so that he won't be terribly ashamed of himself. It requires a lot of guts and emotional intelligence of you as a DM and a person. There are more light-hearted ways to confront the issue, by making jokes which touch upon the problem, which, on the other hand, he could interpret as a way of making fun of him.
Callista 05-07-07, 03:22 PM	Whatever you do, for goodness sakes tell him what he's doing wrong!... otherwise, he may not figure it out for a while, and end up losing a lot more than just a gaming group. (How long it takes depends on whether or not my Asperger's theory has any value to it.)
vagabonvoid 05-07-07, 04:59 PM	I have always been high on personal hygiene in my groups. Just tell the guy what he's doing but try to be nice about it. To my knowledge, I don't know of any culture that finds that culturally acceptable. I owned an Ice Cream Shoppe for a year that I hosted between 10-20 players throughout the week (3-4 groups). During that time I had to kick out several gamers after giving them a chance for various reasons, here are a some... 1: One guy would take off his shoes (feet stink) and pick at his amputated toe. (This was a violation of health code, no shirt-no shoes-no service) 2: I forcefully removed an unbathed fat boy from my establishment after he started a bit of a scene after I told him he needed to shower (this is after I had received complaints from customers and fellow gamers) 3: In a mixed group of 15-25 year olds, I had a 36y/o male come in and after 2 sessions try to act out sex scenes with the underage girls. He was forcefully removed. 4: One hippy girl did not believe that toilet paper was a viable option because it was bad for the enviroment. Needless to say, she stank up the joint. I gave her 2 warnings until she finally began bathing before coming to the games. 5: One girl who lived out of her van and out of her BF's house got lice and infected several members of the group. We forced her to not only shower more often, we made her pay for the lice shampoo for the group. 6: Fat guy would wear "short shorts" that seemed more like a undersized thong.