Guide for Chaotic Stupid Alignments [Archive] - Wizards Community

Guide for Chaotic Stupid Alignments [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Lily_Knight
10-17-04, 08:13 AM If chaotic stupid was a proper alignment, I supose it might involve doing the following...

1) If seeing a button saying; "Don't push. Danger!" written in elven, ask the dwarf to push the button. If he asks what it says, just casually remark something about "forging a friendship."

2) Draw up elaborate plans for betrayal, only to 'accidently' put them in the fighter's backpack instead of yours. Again.

3) Believe that the only difference between commoners and BBEGs is that your kill count of commoners is 1200 times as large as your frags of BBEGs.

4) Racial slurs against orcs or half-orcs should be repaid in blood of the offender. The more important the offender, the more bloodier and violent the death.

and finally....

5) Consistant challenges to the Paladin's code is healthy for you and the system.
Harmor
10-17-04, 08:57 AM 6. When you're deep in Underdark and are moving though a dungeon full of slaves that your dwarven cleric was able to navigate the party though with a bribe, please start attacking the jailers - its important that you kill them so that you can save the prisoners while in the middle of Underdark.

7. When in Underdark make sure you accept any duel. Also make sure to use the cursed weapon that your enemy gives you instead of your own +1 Holy Avenger Greatsword.
Black Kitten
10-17-04, 01:53 PM 8. If someone tries to hire you, be sure to put a knife in his back since he's surely going to have the money on him.

9. Killing and not caring about it is CE. Hence you kill and care about the loot.
The Man from Uncle
10-17-04, 03:22 PM 10) In most non-combat situations clothing is optional. If you want to make a good impression, wear clothes, if you'd rather scare someone, choose the 'schlong out' option.

11) In as sensible manner as possible try to discuss religion with the cleric. As a responce to each answer he gives say, 'Why?'. Do this until he looses all faith then telling him 'Nah, don't worry mate, i was just :censored: with yah'

12) Insist to the bard that you can sing. Explain that 'good taste' is subjective and refuse to accept that you have any less talent than him.

13) Never believe anything you are being told, accept when believeing it is funnier and gets the party into trouble.

14) Knocking on the door is an excellant way to check if the enemy is home.
Bloodtide_the_Red
10-17-04, 09:13 PM 15)Never trust anyone, ever. You need to follow and spy on everyone you meet, as they could plot against you.
16)You must kill all folks you deal with. Even if you just stop a guy on the street to ask the time of day...you have to kill him.
17)If you see something you like or want..just take it. It does not matter where it is or you are. Your at the party and see the queens gold neckace shaped like a dragon...just stab her and take it.
18)Don't save stuff like poison, you need to posion everything all the time.
19)Never pay for anything. At the very least slight of hand and money you give..or more likey stab them and take it back.

BT
Harmor
10-17-04, 10:22 PM 16. ANYONE who detects evil can be killed, especially if they are the baron's daughter.
fatal error
10-17-04, 11:03 PM Um, some of these are lawful stupid, which is when lawful good is roleplayed to the 'extreme', keep in mind chaotic stupid is chaotic evil played to the 'extreme'.
Encard
10-17-04, 11:30 PM fatal error: CS is more like CE or CN roleplayed in a stupid manner than just extreme CE, really.

21. The squirrel is more interesting than finishing combat successfully. Go chase it. Ignore your crazy party's calls for aid.

22. Fire is pretty. Everyone likes being pretty. Thus, you should set everyone on fire so they'll be pretty and happy. They'll thank you afterward.
crazysamaritan
10-18-04, 12:04 AM 23) When crossing a bridge, ALWAYS jump off the side. There is usually a very pretty stone that everyone else missed that you can have all for yourself. (or a ring, at least)

24) The smart thing, when fighting a medusa is to close your eyes and charge at her. That's why you stare stonily at her as you charge.

25) Just b/c the wizard caught you pickpocketing his wand of uber power doesn't mean he'll kill you for taking it.

26) Daggers (and swords) are a guy's best friend! And a lady's lust!

27) If the wizard is beating you in a one-on-one fight using swords, just punch him. Everyone knows wizards go down in one hit. (ignore that fact that he's wearing full-plate and calls himself a Paladin. Wizards always lie)
The_other
10-18-04, 01:36 AM 22. Fire is pretty. Everyone likes being pretty. Thus, you should set everyone on fire so they'll be pretty and happy. They'll thank you afterward.

Pyrokineticist :devil:

28: Always ask the Gigantic Red Dragon why lizards breathe fire.

29: Stab first, ask questions later.

30: When theres a large hole in a dungeon and you can't see the bottom, always jump in.

31 Borrow the wizard's spell book for a couple of days and not tell him. Read it when hes not looking and replace some spells with funny names.
Lily_Knight
10-18-04, 07:04 AM 32. Worshipping Gods are for nancies and fairies. Listening to them is simply proof of weakness. If you play a Cleric, always choose the domains Destruction and Fire.

33. Why not add a couple of levels of mage to your cleric for the extra added power of a FIRE BALL!

34. No insult will ever be unpunished. Since we have short memories, try to repay insults quickly, just in case you forget.

35. Use a FIRE BALL! to replay insults.

36. Kill people in the streets, because the city-waste patrol will always clean the mess for you. Others may call them the city-watch patrol....but who really cares?

37. Yep, you guessed it, killing on the street involves a FIRE BALL!
AkumaDaimyo
10-18-04, 07:33 AM 33. If playing a ninja always dress in all black. Loudly procalim your a ninja. Use all your kewl weapons so everyone will know how awesome you are.
34. going off alone is the best way to earn lots of exp
35. The only way to get xp is by killing stuff. there is no other way.
36. If you don't gain a level every adventure, you've "failed".

Those last 3 are from some total idiot who I had the misfortune of playing with once. We almost killed his character and probably the player too. gods I think HIS alingment was Chaotic Stupid too!
Aki Warren
10-18-04, 10:58 AM 37) The Rules of Magic don't apply to you. At level 1, a Wish spell is within your power

38) Fighter can cast Miracle if they believe!

39) No matter what, no one can tell you what to do. Always do the opposite out of spite.

40) If presented with 4 options, make up a fifth option just for spite.

40b) The option should involve stabbing, slashing, or fireballs
crazysamaritan
10-18-04, 12:57 PM 40c) Anything that involves hacking something to death is bonus points
Encard
10-18-04, 01:58 PM 41. Small fuzzy animals murdered your parents. Now they must pay! Your parents lack of being dead is irrelevant.

42. If you arrange all the bodies into a pretty picture, the DM will give you extra XP.

43. All NPCs of the opposite gender are there for you to hit on. Make sure to be as lewd, crude, and suggestive as possible with them.

The_other: exactly what I was thinking about as wel... Fun guys, those.
Lincoln Hills
10-19-04, 08:31 PM (I don't actually have any rules of Chaotic Stupid behavior to add to the rulebook: I just thought I'd point out that the rulebook itself is unnecessary. Countless thousands of gamers out there play Chaotic Stupid characters perfectly without any manner of alignment guides or study aids. More folks seem to have a natural knack for 'Chaotic Stupid' than for ANY of the ones you'll find in the Player's Handbook. Nevertheless, it's good to see them collected and stated explicitly.)
The_EvilDungeon_Master
10-19-04, 10:24 PM 44. You can always steal from a store, even if you're not good at it.
45. Of COURSE you're supposed to mug the bartender, everyone knows they carry a stash of shiny magic items.
46. If it's shiny, it's worth sacrificing 2, maybe 3 party members for.
ElderWisp
10-19-04, 10:25 PM 44 Claim that whatever you are wearing has a slogan on it, Such as Black mage is my hero/deity, or Omnipotent, cuz' the DM won't kill me.
SnowbearK
10-20-04, 06:27 AM I like potatoes.
Lily_Knight
10-21-04, 12:50 AM I like potatoes.

:uh-huh:

45. Using live gnomes as ammunition for your GIGANTIC sling. Should your companions suggest that this is an evil act, start using them.

46. In your spare time try and peddle 'hotlings'. A mixture of a hot dog and halflings. Truely, you have to use your imagination for this one.
porygandrew
10-21-04, 07:58 AM 45. Using live gnomes as ammunition for your GIGANTIC sling. Should your companions suggest that this is an evil act, start using them.

Races of Stone:

Goliath(Fling Ally) + Chaos Gnome(armor of returning:D) = neverending fun!

(BTW, that's what me and another guy are doing in our current campaign!)
rwarner3701
10-21-04, 01:14 PM Potatoes are good, and there are so many ways to eat them.
Lincoln Hills
10-21-04, 02:58 PM No, actually, with your mouth is still the only way.

And now back to the list!
Insane Pixie
11-01-04, 09:26 PM 47. Never just look at something, always touch/pull/jump into it.

47a. Levers were built to be pulled, ignore the WARNING painted on the wall...in blood...

47b. If you're in a tomb, and you find a book lying on a coffin, poke it, just in case.

47c. Just to prove everyone wrong, jump into the bottomless pit. They're just jealous.
Vintar
11-01-04, 10:56 PM 48a. Make your favored enemy be squirrels. Why? Because you can tell that they are plotting something behind your back

48b. Whenever you see a squirrel - follow it for hours on end until it leads you back to the secret squirrel base where they are busily making a weapon of doom.

48c. If anyone - especially fellow party members - attempts to persuade you that the squirrels aren't trying to destroy the world; kill them. They must be agents of the squirrels.
Uber Goblin
11-02-04, 12:44 AM No, actually, with your mouth is still the only way.

And now back to the list!

umm... * remembers a south park episode * suppository?

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Lily_Knight 10-17-04, 08:13 AM	If chaotic stupid was a proper alignment, I supose it might involve doing the following... 1) If seeing a button saying; "Don't push. Danger!" written in elven, ask the dwarf to push the button. If he asks what it says, just casually remark something about "forging a friendship." 2) Draw up elaborate plans for betrayal, only to 'accidently' put them in the fighter's backpack instead of yours. Again. 3) Believe that the only difference between commoners and BBEGs is that your kill count of commoners is 1200 times as large as your frags of BBEGs. 4) Racial slurs against orcs or half-orcs should be repaid in blood of the offender. The more important the offender, the more bloodier and violent the death. and finally.... 5) Consistant challenges to the Paladin's code is healthy for you and the system.
Harmor 10-17-04, 08:57 AM	6. When you're deep in Underdark and are moving though a dungeon full of slaves that your dwarven cleric was able to navigate the party though with a bribe, please start attacking the jailers - its important that you kill them so that you can save the prisoners while in the middle of Underdark. 7. When in Underdark make sure you accept any duel. Also make sure to use the cursed weapon that your enemy gives you instead of your own +1 Holy Avenger Greatsword.
Black Kitten 10-17-04, 01:53 PM	8. If someone tries to hire you, be sure to put a knife in his back since he's surely going to have the money on him. 9. Killing and not caring about it is CE. Hence you kill and care about the loot.
The Man from Uncle 10-17-04, 03:22 PM	10) In most non-combat situations clothing is optional. If you want to make a good impression, wear clothes, if you'd rather scare someone, choose the 'schlong out' option. 11) In as sensible manner as possible try to discuss religion with the cleric. As a responce to each answer he gives say, 'Why?'. Do this until he looses all faith then telling him 'Nah, don't worry mate, i was just :censored: with yah' 12) Insist to the bard that you can sing. Explain that 'good taste' is subjective and refuse to accept that you have any less talent than him. 13) Never believe anything you are being told, accept when believeing it is funnier and gets the party into trouble. 14) Knocking on the door is an excellant way to check if the enemy is home.
Bloodtide_the_Red 10-17-04, 09:13 PM	15)Never trust anyone, ever. You need to follow and spy on everyone you meet, as they could plot against you. 16)You must kill all folks you deal with. Even if you just stop a guy on the street to ask the time of day...you have to kill him. 17)If you see something you like or want..just take it. It does not matter where it is or you are. Your at the party and see the queens gold neckace shaped like a dragon...just stab her and take it. 18)Don't save stuff like poison, you need to posion everything all the time. 19)Never pay for anything. At the very least slight of hand and money you give..or more likey stab them and take it back. BT
Harmor 10-17-04, 10:22 PM	16. ANYONE who detects evil can be killed, especially if they are the baron's daughter.
fatal error 10-17-04, 11:03 PM	Um, some of these are lawful stupid, which is when lawful good is roleplayed to the 'extreme', keep in mind chaotic stupid is chaotic evil played to the 'extreme'.
Encard 10-17-04, 11:30 PM	fatal error: CS is more like CE or CN roleplayed in a stupid manner than just extreme CE, really. 21. The squirrel is more interesting than finishing combat successfully. Go chase it. Ignore your crazy party's calls for aid. 22. Fire is pretty. Everyone likes being pretty. Thus, you should set everyone on fire so they'll be pretty and happy. They'll thank you afterward.
crazysamaritan 10-18-04, 12:04 AM	23) When crossing a bridge, ALWAYS jump off the side. There is usually a very pretty stone that everyone else missed that you can have all for yourself. (or a ring, at least) 24) The smart thing, when fighting a medusa is to close your eyes and charge at her. That's why you stare stonily at her as you charge. 25) Just b/c the wizard caught you pickpocketing his wand of uber power doesn't mean he'll kill you for taking it. 26) Daggers (and swords) are a guy's best friend! And a lady's lust! 27) If the wizard is beating you in a one-on-one fight using swords, just punch him. Everyone knows wizards go down in one hit. (ignore that fact that he's wearing full-plate and calls himself a Paladin. Wizards always lie)
The_other 10-18-04, 01:36 AM	22. Fire is pretty. Everyone likes being pretty. Thus, you should set everyone on fire so they'll be pretty and happy. They'll thank you afterward. Pyrokineticist :devil: 28: Always ask the Gigantic Red Dragon why lizards breathe fire. 29: Stab first, ask questions later. 30: When theres a large hole in a dungeon and you can't see the bottom, always jump in. 31 Borrow the wizard's spell book for a couple of days and not tell him. Read it when hes not looking and replace some spells with funny names.
Lily_Knight 10-18-04, 07:04 AM	32. Worshipping Gods are for nancies and fairies. Listening to them is simply proof of weakness. If you play a Cleric, always choose the domains Destruction and Fire. 33. Why not add a couple of levels of mage to your cleric for the extra added power of a FIRE BALL! 34. No insult will ever be unpunished. Since we have short memories, try to repay insults quickly, just in case you forget. 35. Use a FIRE BALL! to replay insults. 36. Kill people in the streets, because the city-waste patrol will always clean the mess for you. Others may call them the city-watch patrol....but who really cares? 37. Yep, you guessed it, killing on the street involves a FIRE BALL!
AkumaDaimyo 10-18-04, 07:33 AM	33. If playing a ninja always dress in all black. Loudly procalim your a ninja. Use all your kewl weapons so everyone will know how awesome you are. 34. going off alone is the best way to earn lots of exp 35. The only way to get xp is by killing stuff. there is no other way. 36. If you don't gain a level every adventure, you've "failed". Those last 3 are from some total idiot who I had the misfortune of playing with once. We almost killed his character and probably the player too. gods I think HIS alingment was Chaotic Stupid too!
Aki Warren 10-18-04, 10:58 AM	37) The Rules of Magic don't apply to you. At level 1, a Wish spell is within your power 38) Fighter can cast Miracle if they believe! 39) No matter what, no one can tell you what to do. Always do the opposite out of spite. 40) If presented with 4 options, make up a fifth option just for spite. 40b) The option should involve stabbing, slashing, or fireballs
crazysamaritan 10-18-04, 12:57 PM	40c) Anything that involves hacking something to death is bonus points
Encard 10-18-04, 01:58 PM	41. Small fuzzy animals murdered your parents. Now they must pay! Your parents lack of being dead is irrelevant. 42. If you arrange all the bodies into a pretty picture, the DM will give you extra XP. 43. All NPCs of the opposite gender are there for you to hit on. Make sure to be as lewd, crude, and suggestive as possible with them. The_other: exactly what I was thinking about as wel... Fun guys, those.
Lincoln Hills 10-19-04, 08:31 PM	(I don't actually have any rules of Chaotic Stupid behavior to add to the rulebook: I just thought I'd point out that the rulebook itself is unnecessary. Countless thousands of gamers out there play Chaotic Stupid characters perfectly without any manner of alignment guides or study aids. More folks seem to have a natural knack for 'Chaotic Stupid' than for ANY of the ones you'll find in the Player's Handbook. Nevertheless, it's good to see them collected and stated explicitly.)
The_EvilDungeon_Master 10-19-04, 10:24 PM	44. You can always steal from a store, even if you're not good at it. 45. Of COURSE you're supposed to mug the bartender, everyone knows they carry a stash of shiny magic items. 46. If it's shiny, it's worth sacrificing 2, maybe 3 party members for.
ElderWisp 10-19-04, 10:25 PM	44 Claim that whatever you are wearing has a slogan on it, Such as Black mage is my hero/deity, or Omnipotent, cuz' the DM won't kill me.
SnowbearK 10-20-04, 06:27 AM	I like potatoes.
Lily_Knight 10-21-04, 12:50 AM	I like potatoes. :uh-huh: 45. Using live gnomes as ammunition for your GIGANTIC sling. Should your companions suggest that this is an evil act, start using them. 46. In your spare time try and peddle 'hotlings'. A mixture of a hot dog and halflings. Truely, you have to use your imagination for this one.
porygandrew 10-21-04, 07:58 AM	45. Using live gnomes as ammunition for your GIGANTIC sling. Should your companions suggest that this is an evil act, start using them. Races of Stone: Goliath(Fling Ally) + Chaos Gnome(armor of returning:D) = neverending fun! (BTW, that's what me and another guy are doing in our current campaign!)
rwarner3701 10-21-04, 01:14 PM	Potatoes are good, and there are so many ways to eat them.
Lincoln Hills 10-21-04, 02:58 PM	No, actually, with your mouth is still the only way. And now back to the list!
Insane Pixie 11-01-04, 09:26 PM	47. Never just look at something, always touch/pull/jump into it. 47a. Levers were built to be pulled, ignore the WARNING painted on the wall...in blood... 47b. If you're in a tomb, and you find a book lying on a coffin, poke it, just in case. 47c. Just to prove everyone wrong, jump into the bottomless pit. They're just jealous.
Vintar 11-01-04, 10:56 PM	48a. Make your favored enemy be squirrels. Why? Because you can tell that they are plotting something behind your back 48b. Whenever you see a squirrel - follow it for hours on end until it leads you back to the secret squirrel base where they are busily making a weapon of doom. 48c. If anyone - especially fellow party members - attempts to persuade you that the squirrels aren't trying to destroy the world; kill them. They must be agents of the squirrels.
Uber Goblin 11-02-04, 12:44 AM	No, actually, with your mouth is still the only way. And now back to the list! umm... * remembers a south park episode * suppository?