Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Akisa 01-04-07, 12:24 AM	I'm currently playing a cleric of my group and being the only female character everyone seems to be hitting on my character and it's making me feel uncomfortable. I haven't asked my Dungeon Master if I can make a male character because I already knows he doesn't like people playing characters with opposite genders. How do I say it without creating awkward moments in the gaming table?
DaemonSaDiavlo 01-04-07, 12:30 AM	Well make your cleric into a more unwilling target. The next one who does so, smack him. Or next time they are wounded, treaten not to heal them unless they stop hitting on you. Do this all in charecter because if you don't they will probably freak. and if it really bothers you get the DM to introduce a cha 25 nymph or something along those lines, so they can take thier lust out on it.
theotherdraxen 01-04-07, 12:32 AM	They might just think it's funny. Tell them it isn't. If they don't listen, leave the group. Seriously, don't ever put up with crap like that. If you don't take an immediate stand against it, they'll walk all over you. Be strong. Be firm. Protect yourself.
SageBahamut 01-04-07, 12:46 AM	Yeah seriously. Don't put up with it for a second. On the other hand, you could take the opposite tack if you wanted. Laugh it off, or whack them on the head with a giant hammer (or mace) anime style. Eventually they'll stop hitting on you (ICly) and probably salute your geekness (OOCly).
YamiSouru 01-04-07, 12:57 AM	find a twisted transmuter to change all of their genders to match yours while they sleep. If they are good rpers their chars will be in to much shock to hit on you and the next time you go into a town. well all of a sudden the shoe is on the other foot. If they are bad rpers and continue to hit on you violence is the only honorable way out. Though knowing what you deity you worshipped would help a great deal for me being able to craft a custom npc/encounter to settle the dispute for ya.
Akisa 01-04-07, 01:54 AM	I play a Chaotic good Cleric with War and Strength Domain with Neutral Good Diety with favorite weapon warhammer. Although I only have cleric levels I claim to be a paladin that has follows a less strick code.hitting characters with my hammer sounds interesting I guess I should do non leathal damage then?
Mosyali 01-04-07, 02:10 AM	Unfortunately, some males are incapable of handling a female character. I <a male> rolled up a female White Mage once. Five seconds into the game, the bard guy was insiting that his superior charisma would make me instantly fall in love with him. I promptly taught him the mechanics of charisma by killing him, then reviving him, then killing him again for good measure. Only then did I cast speak with dead to ask if his character would do such stupidity again. His next character was female. :) If you don't mind my suggestion, your character should DEFINEATLY take a page out of White Mage's book from 8-bit theater. Take the feat Quick Draw and smack them with a hammer on a suprise round. You have the hammer already, so just make them go down for the count. And do actual damage, not subdual. If you go for subdual, make sure you knock them out in one blow. Honestly, I had to KILL the Bard for his advances to stop (the revival and subsequent rekilling was for fun).
PiedmonSama 01-04-07, 02:12 AM	I wouldn't actually hit them with my hammer if I were you. Unless you're operating in a Campaign with cartoon physics, the results of that are unlikely to be "cute." Even unwanted advances don't deserve a crippling hammer to the face. >_> But seriously, your character is a Cleric. A woman of the cloth. Next time your players hit on you, ask them if they would hit on a nun, because that's basically what your character is.
philnicau 01-04-07, 02:26 AM	Simply explain to the players and the DM that you want this behaviour to stop at once as its making you uncomfortable, this shouldn't be something you have to discuss, if they don't accept this and stop straight away then i'd leave and find a group with more maturity.
Roivas 01-04-07, 02:32 AM	Take the vow of chastity from Exaulted Deeds, or at least tell them you have. When they persist tell them that you don't want to risk both your clerical powers and two of your feats for them. Take the persistant spell, divine metamagic, divine power combo and leadership. The leadership feat is for a wizard or sorceror who can cast charm person, have them charm a rogue and suddenly you are your own party. Write into your background that your character is already married to some guy and he is the jealous type, and a 28th level barbarian. Cast bestow curse on each of them cursing them to turn into a woman every time they are splashed with cold water. Have atonement prepared too. If none of these ideas suit you you could also just leave the group, or try talking to the entire group stating that their actions are starting to make you uncomfortable and you are considering leaving. Or lastly, you could just start prettying yourself up prior to game so the players hit on you instead of your character.
Darkmatter20 01-04-07, 04:46 AM	I'm currently playing a cleric of my group and being the only female character everyone seems to be hitting on my character and it's making me feel uncomfortable. I haven't asked my Dungeon Master if I can make a male character because I already knows he doesn't like people playing characters with opposite genders. How do I say it without creating awkward moments in the gaming table? Err are they hitting on the character or is the reason you feel so uncomfortable is because they may be indirectly hitting on you? Or not maybe its just silly shenanagins. Just ask them to stop its uncomfortable.
Anaxander 01-04-07, 06:02 AM	Err are they hitting on the character or is the reason you feel so uncomfortable is because they may be indirectly hitting on you? Also my question. In fact, it isn't too surprising that a bunch of male adventurers try to hit on their female co-traveller. But it would be strange that all of them constantly try to hit on any female character you play. This probably reflects more out-of-game interests... Perhaps it is something which will grow out. If it is not, tell your players and DM you don't like this behaviour. On a sidenote, in a campaign I DM'ed more than a year ago, my girlfriend played a cleric too. The ranger and the paladin in the group tried to hit on her, while the two other players remained neutral towards her. When the paladin died and the player rolled up a warmage, he wasn't interested in her character any more. So the whole 'hitting' thing was completely in character and harmless. But that depends on the maturity of the players.
lint trap 01-04-07, 08:22 AM	Well, the other players have put you in a pretty awkward situation. The DM too, for that matter; he should have taken care of this problem long ago. You shouldn't have to change character gender just to avoid harassment at the gaming table. And getting the point across without causing some embaressment might be impossible. But this isn't something you should "put up with." Just say (without melodrama) that the pick-up lines are getting old, and the other players should knock it off. Just because they can't get a date in the real world doesn't mean they should dump their sexual frustrations on you.
Ocalus 01-04-07, 09:54 AM	I'm currently playing a cleric of my group and being the only female character everyone seems to be hitting on my character and it's making me feel uncomfortable. I haven't asked my Dungeon Master if I can make a male character because I already knows he doesn't like people playing characters with opposite genders. How do I say it without creating awkward moments in the gaming table? I take it you are female as well? If this is the case then it appears that they are not so much hitting on the PC as using that as a means of hitting on you. Tell them to stop. If they do not then tell them to grow up. If they do not then tell them goodbye.
Gnorish 01-04-07, 10:26 AM	You could attempt to resolve this by asking your group if it for roleplaying reasons that your character is being hit on. If that is the case then resolve the issue in character...have your cleric confront the would be suiters by threatening to leave the party if the harassment doesn't stop. If they continue then have your cleric leave the group and retire the character. For your next character there are a couple of options if your DM sticks to the narrow minded point of view that you can't play a character of the opposite sex... 1) Be a female half orc/orc with low CHA - if they players hit on her then you know it was not for roleplaying reasons. 2) Be a changeling...you may start with female but you can become male whenever you wish. You could pull a "Crying Game" on one of the player characters - that should stop the harrassment dead!:eek: Obviously, if no one can give a decent roleplaying reason for their character's affections then just confront the players and ask them to stop. You should not have to feel uncomfortable. Good luck.
Zyphus 01-04-07, 02:07 PM	Using things like "mines" is cutesy and could help cause flirtation. I'm assuming you mean more than just mild flirting. being the only female character everyone seems to be hitting on my character and it's making me feel uncomfortable. Why are you the only female? Grab another to join you. I think if your mom played they might ease up a little, but beware if you have a hot divorced mom! Why are you uncomfortable? There are different reasons (from boys are icky to that particular boy is icky and why is the one I like NOT hitting on me) including just being shy. If the group is trying to roleplay relationships are part of any role. Find what kind of relationship you want and demand respect for it - whether you want to be party leader, the hot female of the group, or the evil cleric necromancer no one should even consider touching. You could also ask the DM for an in-game boyfriend that is jealous, much higher level, and goes into berserk rages when guys approach you (last resort, but may work with a young crowd). How do I say it without creating awkward moments in the gaming table? "Stop hitting on me, it's making me uncomfortable" works if they are fairly mature. If it would make it worse you could try reverse psychology, nabbing a boyfriend, or tell them you have to complete dedicate yourself as a cleric and thus have no time or inclination for such socializing. Then if you must use Call Lightning or something similar, but only as a last resort.
Zyphus 01-04-07, 02:25 PM	I play a Chaotic good Cleric with War and Strength Domain with Neutral Good Diety with favorite weapon warhammer. Although I only have cleric levels I claim to be a paladin that has follows a less strick code.hitting characters with my hammer sounds interesting I guess I should do non leathal damage then? Have you read Red Sonja? Hear of an Irish stand-down? You have the pefect deity to allow a mix of both. You can only date people that defeat you in a stand down. They must stand there and let you hit them X number of times (I would do subdual), or if you wanted to be fair you could hit each other. You can pick what armor and weaponry must be used since it is your ritual and of course you get to go first. Challengers do not get to use magic of any kind is a good Chaotic rule. You, as the defender, may buff as much as you like. You can even make it turn based to cast spells in-between. If you want to be very wicked with this you could use the 007 levels of seduction and require the ritual for each stage - so to ask you out is one fight, but to touch your hand requires you both fully healing and having another bout first, and then another before you could possibly kiss. The challenger should also have to donate something to your deity/temple/character or you can't accept the challenge.
dworkenelfkiller 01-04-07, 02:27 PM	i can sympathize, i once was a paladin and was being hit on by a hellbreeder. i tried to explain that we couldn't breed because he was a hellbreeder. and i don't deal well with compacted poop.
CoolPirate 01-04-07, 02:32 PM	get a belt of gender changing. Freak em' out. Just agree with the flirting then wip it out and give them a heart attack.:D
lancean 01-04-07, 03:22 PM	To deal with the characters responsible... You're playing a priestess with War and Strength domains. Clearly, your deity respects strength. Tell them this, and remind them that morality and character are strengths too. Tell them that if they can't learn to show you common decency, then you're under no obligation to show them any compassion until they learn such things. In short, don't heal them. Your deity would agree. They need to overcome thier base desires and become stronger or they should perish. To deal with the PLAYERS responsible... Tell them to knock it off. You're playing D+D, not the dating game.
*Grim_Reaper* 01-04-07, 03:40 PM	It's a shame that you're feeling uncomfortable in your group. Have you gamed with them for some time? I do like the idea of withholding healing spells until they agree not to hit on you. As males they should have enough respect for you not to bring that type of behavior into the game, least that's my opinion.
FntsyWlkr 01-04-07, 03:46 PM	I also have to speak up. Those guys are being jerks. This is a game that you may be enjoying but because they can't keep their minds out of their pants it's ruining that opportunity for you. 1) Are you doing anything to provoke this response? 2) Have you mentioned it casually to anybody in the group? If nothing changes ... I know a bunch of gay D&D groups ... maybe they could still provide you with the friends, the fantasy, and the opportunity to enjoy the game.
Stormbrand 01-04-07, 05:18 PM	Say it directly - literally 'I think this is going too far. I'd prefer people to stop hitting on me in-game.' - literally say you are uncomfortable and it is now their responsibility to improve their behaviour. How much have you said so far? I like RPing romances but I think it is good manners to clear it OOC. Hold up the stop sign OOC and ask them to respect that. Remember they control their characters, they decide the behaviour.
Thanqol 01-04-07, 06:13 PM	Have you read Red Sonja? Hear of an Irish stand-down? You have the pefect deity to allow a mix of both. You can only date people that defeat you in a stand down. They must stand there and let you hit them X number of times (I would do subdual), or if you wanted to be fair you could hit each other. You can pick what armor and weaponry must be used since it is your ritual and of course you get to go first. Challengers do not get to use magic of any kind is a good Chaotic rule. You, as the defender, may buff as much as you like. You can even make it turn based to cast spells in-between. If you want to be very wicked with this you could use the 007 levels of seduction and require the ritual for each stage - so to ask you out is one fight, but to touch your hand requires you both fully healing and having another bout first, and then another before you could possibly kiss. The challenger should also have to donate something to your deity/temple/character or you can't accept the challenge. Now this is so being stolen.
Amazing_Ronaldo 01-04-07, 06:19 PM	Simply explain to the players and the DM that you want this behaviour to stop at once as its making you uncomfortable, this shouldn't be something you have to discuss, if they don't accept this and stop straight away then i'd leave and find a group with more maturity. Exactly!! Because unless they are hitting on every serving wench they come across, then they are most likely not roleplaying their characters hitting on yours as much as they are hitting on you in an indirect way. And if this is unwanted by you the it is best to at least tell them and your DM. Move on to another group if it doesn't stop. If it were one character and he was playing that character correctly (meaning that PC would have fallen for someone like yours) and was hitting on yours, then it would be good RP and understandable. Then you two could RP that yours is or isn't interested and it would probably create some good RP between your two characters. What are your ages? If you are all in your 20's or older then they should know better by now and maybe a more mature group is in order for you. If you are all in your mid teens or so then maybe this will be a good learning experience for them that you have feelings too and that they need to be aware that what they say and do can hurt others. -R
theotherdraxen 01-04-07, 08:55 PM	I take it you are female as well? If this is the case then it appears that they are not so much hitting on the PC as using that as a means of hitting on you. Tell them to stop. If they do not then tell them to grow up. If they do not then tell them goodbye. Exactly. Akisa, do not try to do any sort of in-game stuff to deal with this: the motives are certainly not 'in-game'. If your character hits them, they'll turn into masochists (sp?) and keep on going. If you make an ugly character, you'll probably find one player who suddenly develops an unusual 'fling' for your type of ugliness. The only way to win is to see if they're willing to grow up or if you leave.
Elemental_Elf 01-05-07, 12:25 AM	Threaten not to heal them... Better yet the next character that hits on you shouldn't receive healing for a few in game days, especially when your in the thick of a dungeon. This is a non-violent yet extremely potent way of saying "Lay off or you're gunna die."
green_yawgmoth 01-05-07, 01:00 AM	Tell them that if they want to jack off to thoughts of you and/or your character at night, it's fine, so long as you don't have to hear of it. Also tell them that you're not attracted to any of them and neither is your character to any of theirs, and that the next person to hit on you or your character will get a boot to the balls so hard they'll be making friends with their eyeballs. Buy steel-toed boots, and make them aware of said boots' ferrous content. You're playing with the stereotypical "loser nerd" gamers. You're probably the first female not related to them to ever talk to them without disgust, so naturally they think you're attracted to them and any advances they make are ever so smooth. Teach them the error of their ways. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Undrhil 01-05-07, 02:50 AM	You're playing with the stereotypical "loser nerd" gamers. You're probably the first female not related to them to ever talk to them without disgust, so naturally they think you're attracted to them and any advances they make are ever so smooth. Teach them the error of their ways. This is hardly a fair stereotyping. Without knowing the players, you are classing them as loser nerds. I have found that usually the players who are "loser nerds" in real life, are more mature in role-playing and don't take time out in-character to try to flirt with any girl at the table. The ones who do this are the "jocks" and "rich boys" because they think they can translate their (assumed) natural suave over to their character and play off any rough-housing or snobbishness as roleplaying. Besides, they are used to girls swooning over them day-in and day-out (or so they think) and assume any girl at the table would be doing so as well. Why are you uncomfortable? There are different reasons (from boys are icky to that particular boy is icky and why is the one I like NOT hitting on me) including just being shy. If the group is trying to roleplay relationships are part of any role. Find what kind of relationship you want and demand respect for it - whether you want to be party leader, the hot female of the group, or the evil cleric necromancer no one should even consider touching. You could also ask the DM for an in-game boyfriend that is jealous, much higher level, and goes into berserk rages when guys approach you (last resort, but may work with a young crowd). Why this player is uncomfortable is beside the point. It doesn't matter if she thinks boys have cooties or if she's married in real-life. If she is uncomfortable, then there is something wrong at the table. No woman (or man) has to put up with being sexually harassed to the point of feeling bad about it. At your next play session, I'd talk privately to the DM. If the DM is not receptive to talking about it, then tell the group you are leaving to find a more mature group who can handle gaming with a girl. The problem is that they might just say "OK" and not learn anything from this. :( Undrhil
LeannaMoonbody 01-05-07, 03:06 AM	Hmmm. I have run into this problem before, well to a degree. I play with 2 other males, and usually one will hit on my character, or the dm has npc's hit on my character, in every campaign. If my character is interested then I have actually played it out. But if not, I have a tendency to completely humiliate the character that is hitting on me in game. This way they know not to do it again, or that my character just is not interested, however this has backfired on me before, and the other characters or NPC's think im playing "hard to get" If its making you feel uncomfortable "Out of game" then say something out of game. If its "in game" then doing it in game may humble the other players a bit. You should not need to waste taking extra feats to keep your chasity safe, however...if that is something you are interested in, then leadership would be great. My level 14 bard...she is extremely weak ( I wanted to play a weak character) but in the fact my ability scores suck(8 str doesnt get you too far) with exception of my characters charisma. I took leadership for "bodyguards" to protect my character. There are several different things you can do with this problem, depending upon your in game or out of game personality. One time I even used a dominate person spell on another character, when he would hit on me... and had him walk into walls over and over again. lol. It all depends where you want to take it. But do let me know how it works out for you, I would love to hear any of your ideas.
PiedmonSama 01-05-07, 04:39 AM	This is hardly a fair stereotyping. Without knowing the players, you are classing them as loser nerds. I have found that usually the players who are "loser nerds" in real life, are more mature in role-playing and don't take time out in-character to try to flirt with any girl at the table. The ones who do this are the "jocks" and "rich boys" because they think they can translate their (assumed) natural suave over to their character and play off any rough-housing or snobbishness as roleplaying. Besides, they are used to girls swooning over them day-in and day-out (or so they think) and assume any girl at the table would be doing so as well. That's unfair stereotyping; I played football and did track for three years at my High School and the best I could manage for intergender conversation generally consisted of "wuh... huh.... how are you?" :P
angryman 01-05-07, 08:40 AM	I had a female cleric once, and another PC insisted on hitting on her. I told him I wasn't interested in him, but he continued, generally being an ass about it for quite a while. So one day in the thick of combat, I had a free cleave attempt and guess who was next to me? Haha, he died.
seldom_seen 01-05-07, 10:48 AM	I realize that this is not exactly like your situation, but I once played with a male friend who wanted to play a female character. He rolled up a female amazon warrior, and proceeded to kick but in the campaign. One of the other players would frequently make suggestive comments towards him(her), until it came to a boiling point. The amazon spoke with the DM and came up with what he felt as a fix. Keep in mind he was a male playing a female... He played along with the lecherous character, and "gave in" to his advances. The next day, the DM told the aggressor that he was sick with an exotic disease that the amazon is immune to, but to others is extremely painful and embarrassing, as well as highly resistant to healing. (The symptoms included large, painful, supporating boils on the face and arms of the male character. No one else ever hit on her again.) That being said, if what your coplayers are doing is making you uncomfortable, Tell them to knock it off..period. Trying to take care of the problem within the game probably will not work, because the other players are probably just a buch of boorish type of guys in real life, and that just carrys over into the game. If you tell them to stop, and they don't, then find another group.
Stormbrand 01-05-07, 11:30 AM	There seems to be a trend here. You have the right to game and enjoy your hobby and socialise without having to tolerate unwanted attention! Seriously, you do not owe any apology or justification to your group if you think they are being inappropriate. It is their responsibility as fellows/friends/associates to treat you with the respect and dignity you deserve. Bring it up with them, say you don't like it, and if they are at all worthwhile people, they will probably be horrified with themselves for putting you under pressure. Flirting is one thing, putting pressure on a girl is another thing entirely and is completely unacceptable. I guess you tell how seriously I take chivalry.
The_Ditto 01-05-07, 11:33 AM	I guess you tell how seriously I take chivalry. Hear Hear!!! :ayyyy!: :bow: :cheer: :pint:
High Octane 01-05-07, 05:09 PM	Flirting is one thing, putting pressure on a girl is another thing entirely and is completely unacceptable. Its called sexual harassment. Tell them to grow up and if they persist, stop going saying you arent comfortable.
Stormbrand 01-06-07, 03:23 PM	Hear Hear!!! :ayyyy!: :bow: :cheer: :pint: Thanks, I think. Its called sexual harassment. Tell them to grow up and if they persist, stop going saying you arent comfortable. I think we have made it pretty clear where we throw our support. It would be nice to hear from the OP again, see how she feels about this now.
EscherEnigma 01-06-07, 06:24 PM	Just thought I'd chime in with my own story, and my support. Story: Once I was playing a bard (male) and due to the DMs rather twisted sense of humor, he ended up getting involved (rather against my will) with an NPC. The next session there were multiple jokes, lewd comments, and other such inappropriate behavior. After the session I told the DM to knock it off, that I was sick and tired of it. He did. Now, most of my group just thought it was funny, so it wasn't quite the same, but it boils down to a similar situation: something happening in game made me uncomfortable out of game, so I told them to knock it off. And they did. Support: Don't bother with an ingame solution. If ALL of them are doing it, then I really doubt it's just a roleplaying thing. Sounds like a problem with the people, and you need to tell them in no uncertain terms just what they're doing and how its making you feel, and that you would greatly appreciate it if they would knock it off and respect your right to feel comfortable and enjoy your hobby without dealing with their advances. If any number of the stereotypes that we could draw from are true, then they may be intimidated enough to fall into line. Regardless, I think something like this needs to be addressed and you really should stand your ground. Good luck!
Encard 01-06-07, 07:56 PM	Just ask the other players to stop. That'll probably take care of it. If it doesn't, ask the DM to talk to them, take some of the advice for how to make your character unapproachable IC, or - as a last resort - find a new group. A comment to some of the others who've posted, though... The OP said the others are hitting on her character, which is making her feel uncomfortable. How does that count as sexual harassment and putting so dreadfully much pressure on her? We don't even know if she's made it evident to the group that she's uncomfortable with it, whether it's based on IC or OOC motives, or much of anything else. I'm all for her being comfortable with her game and gaming group, but saying that what's going on is sexual harassment is, at this point, going a tad too far.
theotherdraxen 01-06-07, 08:02 PM	There seems to be a trend here. You have the right to game and enjoy your hobby and socialise without having to tolerate unwanted attention! Seriously, you do not owe any apology or justification to your group if you think they are being inappropriate. It is their responsibility as fellows/friends/associates to treat you with the respect and dignity you deserve. Bring it up with them, say you don't like it, and if they are at all worthwhile people, they will probably be horrified with themselves for putting you under pressure. Flirting is one thing, putting pressure on a girl is another thing entirely and is completely unacceptable. I guess you tell how seriously I take chivalry. QFT.
YamiSouru 01-06-07, 09:55 PM	after looking over everything again Akisa i beleive i have found the PERFECT magical item for your situation. And beleive me folks it is about as subtle as a sledgehammer being used for a sneak attack..or something..anyway. Ring of Gender confusion (not to be confused with the one made by Dragons magazine a long time back): This silver ring embedded with a small emerald looks to havebeen made by a very skilled artisan and on the inside of the ring sports the words "Another point of veiw". When someone dons this ring they become subject to a illusion/delusion that they have changed genders, for example if a male is to put on the ring they will beleive that they were a woman who was changed to a man and vica versa. no ammount of diplomacy can convince them otherwise and the ring can oonly be removed with a Dispell Magic. Removeing the ring also ends the delusion. IM not sure what the price should be for a item like this but in anycase it should stop your charactor being hit on in game (to many thingsw ould be destroying the charactors mind to be centered on things such as lust) and if it doesnt you will have the perfect oppertunity to absolutely crush the lads and make them look bad in front of everyone else. And a thing with us guys is we have to keep ourselves looking good especially in front of girls so this will most likely strike home hard. Or you could go the less magical way and just explain to your dm that they are being pricks and make a male charactor, or even better make a warforged with a female personality. Id like to see the hit on that without makeing themselves look like complete and total idiots :D .
danielinthewolvesden 01-07-07, 02:00 AM	Simply explain to the players and the DM that you want this behaviour to stop at once as its making you uncomfortable, this shouldn't be something you have to discuss, if they don't accept this and stop straight away then i'd leave and find a group with more maturity. Yes, this is an OOC problem that can NOT be solved IC. Sit down with them, and discuss it like adults.
tuffn00gies 01-07-07, 04:21 AM	I'm currently playing a cleric of my group and being the only female character everyone seems to be hitting on my character and it's making me feel uncomfortable. I haven't asked my Dungeon Master if I can make a male character because I already knows he doesn't like people playing characters with opposite genders. How do I say it without creating awkward moments in the gaming table? There's already an awkward moment at the gaming table. I wouldn't even bother trying to take care of this in game. I'd just announce at the beginning of the next session that you don't appreciate it and you want to be treated as "just one of the guys" at the game table. If that doesn't work, your best bet is to find a newer, more mature group.
green_yawgmoth 01-07-07, 01:13 PM	This is hardly a fair stereotyping. Without knowing the players, you are classing them as loser nerds. I have found that usually the players who are "loser nerds" in real life, are more mature in role-playing and don't take time out in-character to try to flirt with any girl at the table. The ones who do this are the "jocks" and "rich boys" because they think they can translate their (assumed) natural suave over to their character and play off any rough-housing or snobbishness as roleplaying. Besides, they are used to girls swooning over them day-in and day-out (or so they think) and assume any girl at the table would be doing so as well.If they can talk to a female at the game table and interact with her without creaming their pants, then they aren't losers in my book. Also, you're accusing me of "unfair stereotyping" then go on to claim that jocks and rich kids can't RP? What the hell is that? Some of the best RPers I've met have had 100k/yr salaries or parents with such, and/or have been on more than one varsity team. If you're going to get offended, make sure you don't kick yourself in the head while you're doing it. :rolleyes: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Nitan 01-07-07, 01:21 PM	Are you sure they're actually hitting on you? Sometimes a series of events accidentally make people think you are what you aren't. Case in point. During high school, I had a morning History class with an awesome teacher, only his lectures were a bit dry. I ended up muttering and mumbling a lot as I struggled with consciousness. Girl who sat behind me thought I was some psycho who was planning to bomb the school. Especially since I could get some of the more obscure history jokes the teacher made and would burst out laughing on occasion. If your worries are well founded though, try talking to them. If that doesn't work, you may need to find new group.
Stormbrand 01-07-07, 01:33 PM	Are you sure they're actually hitting on you? Sometimes a series of events accidentally make people think you are what you aren't. Case in point. During high school, I had a morning History class with an awesome teacher, only his lectures were a bit dry. I ended up muttering and mumbling a lot as I struggled with consciousness. Girl who sat behind me thought I was some psycho who was planning to bomb the school. Especially since I could get some of the more obscure history jokes the teacher made and would burst out laughing on occasion. If your worries are well founded though, try talking to them. If that doesn't work, you may need to find new group. And at the very least, if it is a misunderstanding, talking to them will help clear it up. I know that I would really enjoy role-playing a romance, and I would not be fully comfortable doing so with other guys, but this is the kind of situation where you should all know where each other's boundries are. It is not always easy to read the unwritten rules, or hear what remains unsaid. Fortune-cookie wisdom for the day.
Yokomohoyo 01-08-07, 06:01 AM	the next time someone hits on you go alog with it and cast inflict minnor wounds on him when your character is "feeling up" that character ^_^
CaoSlayer 01-08-07, 08:06 AM	I play a Chaotic good Cleric with War and Strength Domain with Neutral Good Diety with favorite weapon warhammer. Although I only have cleric levels I claim to be a paladin that has follows a less strick code.hitting characters with my hammer sounds interesting I guess I should do non leathal damage then? City hunter anyone?
robertliguori 01-08-07, 08:33 AM	As was pointed out, D&D tends to attract two kinds of people; those with a surfeit of imagination and creativity, and those that fail hard-core at some measure of real life, and look to shared imaginary worlds to make up their lack. Talk to the people out-of-game. You will probably hear "It's just a game. Relax." If so, make your next character a Cha-3 orcish barbarian with Improved Grapple, cross-class ranks in Use Rope, and return the attentions that are being lavished on you currently.
Potato Weasel 01-08-07, 08:54 AM	Well, I had a friend who got into dnd with a group that was local to her, she had low self esteem then and had made a bad choice of groups, and eventually she invited me to come down and try a few sessions to see if i'd fit in. The basic session went like this- prior to the game she got hit on, had stuff thrown at her, etc., apparently because she was -new-. Right. This continued when the game started until i started forcefully siding with her. I was invited back, but didnt think it was worth it (was really poorly run anyhow) but at least she told me the guys had stopped trying to constantly get in her pants throughout the sessions. The thing is, if you want this to stop, you have to stop it. Now. If you let it continue, it'll get worse. If you can't bring yourself to object, bring a big brother type to a session. Even if he's not the most intimidating guy in the world, a bit of firm opposition goes a long way.
Akisa 01-08-07, 11:20 AM	I’ve decided to go with having my character physically threaten the other characters early in the last session. Although the fighter was the first to hit on me I challenged him to a duel and good thing he was rolling low and I was rolling high (critical hit 3x in a roll). Everyone else character became too scared to even hit on me and so far the fighter learned his lesson. Although one side conquest everyone seems to go towards the other cleric in the party for healing magic because they said they’re afraid of me.
mkill 01-08-07, 12:08 PM	Good! After all, a female PC can and should use the same tactics to get rid of "unwanted attention" the same way a woman has to get rid of men in real life... (sadly enough you can't just smack them with a warhammer in real life) Looks like now they respect you. I hope that lesson lasts.
Anaxander 01-08-07, 12:10 PM	Although the question hasn't been answered if it was an in game or out game problem, as I fear that an out of game problem cannot be solved this easily.
Stormbrand 01-09-07, 02:00 PM	I’ve decided to go with having my character physically threaten the other characters early in the last session. Although the fighter was the first to hit on me I challenged him to a duel and good thing he was rolling low and I was rolling high (critical hit 3x in a roll). Everyone else character became too scared to even hit on me and so far the fighter learned his lesson. Although one side conquest everyone seems to go towards the other cleric in the party for healing magic because they said they’re afraid of me. I'm glad it all worked out for you.
CaptainPicard 01-09-07, 09:22 PM	I have something to say about the IC thing. Sure, IC, it would be reasonable to have a character who does not respect women and would continue hitting on her no matter what is said or done. However, there are certain characters that are not appropriate for certain groups, even if they are perfectly reasonable characters. This is much the same as how BoVD villains are fine characters, but are not a good thing to have around in certain groups. For example, my current character is a racist, a homophobe, and a sexist, not to mention generally unpleasant to anybody who disagrees with him at all. he makes frequent disparaging comments to female NPCs and PCs, his only limit being that they don't kill him or they risk becoming useless to him. He hasn't a decent bone in his body, and everything in his little world revolves around how great he is and how much better he is than his social inferiors (Lawful Evil, obviously). This character is a fine character for the game I am in with the group I have been playing with for two years, however I would never introduce him into a game with a group whose comfort level I was unsure of. To somebody who knows me, they know that any offensive remark my character makes does not reflect my own beliefs, but another group would not know that. In conclusion, just because you can make a legitimate character who makes another player uncomfortable does not mean that you should, and it is certainly no excuse for the continuation of such behaviour.
Thubby 01-09-07, 09:48 PM	two words "TOM BOY" have your character start acting like one of the guys. drink, swear, (maybe be lesbian), and act all macho (though you have to back it up more than they do). most guys go googly on girls they can think of as different from them (or as they wish to be). if your character is like them, its like your a guy, and they arent gay i assume. yay psychology! p.s. if YOU as a player act more guy-ish, youd probably get faster results. though first i recomend just letting your group know it bothers you, be nice, casual about it. it usualy works.
CryoSilver 01-09-07, 09:52 PM	There's a link in my sig about dealing with other players who are being stupid.
High Octane 01-10-07, 10:09 AM	Im sorry I cant find it. It seems your sig is clogged with a thick layer of Ego Pad :P
mkill 01-10-07, 10:54 AM	two words "TOM BOY" have your character start acting like one of the guys. drink, swear, (maybe be lesbian), and act all macho (though you have to back it up more than they do). most guys go googly on girls they can think of as different from them (or as they wish to be). if your character is like them, its like your a guy, and they arent gay i assume. yay psychology! p.s. if YOU as a player act more guy-ish, youd probably get faster results. though first i recomend just letting your group know it bothers you, be nice, casual about it. it usualy works. Sorry, but the problem is not her, the problem is the guys. The point here is to change the boys, not her. Really, why should she adapt when she is surrounded by a bunch of morons? And what if they happen to be desperate enough they would hit on a tomboy as long as the charsheet says female?
Akisa 01-10-07, 12:29 PM	two words "TOM BOY" have your character start acting like one of the guys. drink, swear, (maybe be lesbian), and act all macho (though you have to back it up more than they do). most guys go googly on girls they can think of as different from them (or as they wish to be). if your character is like them, its like your a guy, and they arent gay i assume. yay psychology! p.s. if YOU as a player act more guy-ish, youd probably get faster results. though first i recomend just letting your group know it bothers you, be nice, casual about it. it usualy works. Except that's how my character and I act (minus the lesbian part). Besides I shouldn't be the one who has to actively control the urges of other people it should fall the other individuals.
Magrus 01-10-07, 01:09 PM	I read through this before and was hoping to see that things got fixed but never posted. Hopefully it really is fixed and you don't have any more troubles. It's rare to have a female gamer sure, but they should respect that and you. If it comes up again, you may want to make it clear to them out of game what your problem with the situation is. As it all happened in a game, they may think it's all in good fun still if they are dense.
High Octane 01-10-07, 01:12 PM	two words "TOM BOY" have your character start acting like one of the guys. drink, swear, (maybe be lesbian), and act all macho (though you have to back it up more than they do). most guys go googly on girls they can think of as different from them (or as they wish to be). if your character is like them, its like your a guy, and they arent gay i assume. yay psychology! p.s. if YOU as a player act more guy-ish, youd probably get faster results. though first i recomend just letting your group know it bothers you, be nice, casual about it. it usualy works. Wont work.
theotherdraxen 01-10-07, 01:18 PM	I take it you are female as well? If this is the case then it appears that they are not so much hitting on the PC as using that as a means of hitting on you. Tell them to stop. If they do not then tell them to grow up. If they do not then tell them goodbye. The best solution was posted here^ Really, anything aside from this is probably not the best thing to do. I'm sorry we guys can be jerks sometimes, but you can't put up with it for any reason, or you will only encourage the behavior.
Thubby 01-10-07, 02:52 PM	Except that's how my character and I act (minus the lesbian part). Besides I shouldn't be the one who has to actively control the urges of other people it should fall the other individuals. my post wasnt ment to say you are the one who should change. you shouldnt have to change, but doing so could meet with success. i only offered the suggestion because it could get the end result of not getting hit on. that... and pretty much all the other bases have been covered. since the whole "act like dude" thing isnt working. their probably hitting on YOU (and are quite desperate apparently since they resort to rp flirting instead of actualy going for it)
High Octane 01-10-07, 06:42 PM	Heres a thought though: If the guys are hitting on you by proxy, and you dont have a boyfriend, you could always consider them :P Of course they sound pretty immature, but to be honest, we pretty much never grow up.
Undrhil 01-10-07, 08:34 PM	To the OP: Do you have a boyfriend? If so, bring him to the next session. I bet the flirting stops then. :) If you don't have a boyfriend, bring your older brother or your dad (yeah, yeah .. I know ... parents and gaming don't usually mix.) If you have neither of those (you poor thing!) you could call your "boyfriend" (really your friend from school/work/etc.) and just let loose. The guys at the table will feel ashamed (and possibly scared for their lives, if you can make it sound like your "boyfriend" is the jealous type.) At any rate, if none of this helps, then your gaming group needs to grow up and you should find a more mature group to game with. Also, if the DM doesn't allow cross-gender roleplaying, there was probably a reason for this before you started playing... you could ask the DM to either lay down the law on in-game flirting or allow you to play a male character, to control the in-game flirting as well. :)
CapnBone 01-10-07, 09:21 PM	What are you wearing? (Just kidding)
Novabomb 01-11-07, 12:24 AM	What are you wearing? (Just kidding) You erred, my recommendation is that you stay away from these kinds of disccussions.
Magrus 01-11-07, 12:28 AM	Of course they sound pretty immature, but to be honest, we pretty much never grow up. Some do, I know I have. I still let my inner child out to run free once in a while. It's boring if I don't. ;)
Yokomohoyo 01-11-07, 12:37 AM	Honestly the guys you play with sound like they never grew up... If you can talk to them and tell them to stop. If they dont then jsut go with the idea of bringing a male figure with you, perferably a big athletic guy... If you dont have a real boyfriend then get one of your guy friends to join you for the session. Or if you can try to find another game and tell the DM to make them stop or your out of their...
TheLoneCleric 01-11-07, 12:43 AM	It's wrong. Tell the GM where to stick it if he can't control leering players. Worse, get on the players case about how they are behaving.
CrystalSeraph 01-11-07, 12:25 PM	Tsch, this is always a sorry situation. Tell your group, straight up, that this is not on. If they refuse to comply, leave the group. You should not have to put up with it. When in doubt, follow the SSC rule: safe, sane and consentual.
Suzaku455 01-11-07, 02:20 PM	I wonder how many more people are going to post giving their suggestions even though the OP solved the problem in game?