Help with group frustration [Archive] - Wizards Community

Help with group frustration [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
MaggieMae
09-19-07, 04:52 PM I've been playing D&D with a group of friends for around 2 years now. In our primary campaign, we've played characters from level 1 all the way through to level 13. We recently started a new campaign that another of our group members is DMing.

I have one major frustration with this group. Around a year ago, a new couple was invited to join the campaign. One was fairly new to D&D and the other was slightly more experienced. Within the first few game sessions, it became clear that the more experienced of the pair was going to be problematic. He started picking on specific player's characters and would either chase the character into hiding and out of the game, kill them, or undermine the character in some other way (i.e. get them killed by guards for crimes not committed, etc). Because he was focusing all of his attention on one or two specific players, who didn't seem to mind that the dude was being a pain, the DM sort of just let it play out.

Well, now he has turned his attention to me. In both campaigns, he finds ways to screw with my characters. In the most recent incident, he started on an animal killing rampage to mess with my hippie animal-loving druid. He has also started messing with my character in the other campaign. I've tried my best not to take all of this personally but when he's singling out my characters, its kind of hard not to. It's totally ruining the game for me.

Aside from talking it through with the DMs (who think its good for RP) and the guy (who is an idiot and wouldn't listen anyway), does anyone have any good suggestions for how to handle this? I really don't want to quit the game, but it seems like no matter what character I bring into the game, this guy finds a way to mess with them. :mad:
queenfange
09-19-07, 04:58 PM That really, really sucks. There's a chance that perhaps your character was being overly obnoxious and therefore brought it upon themselves, but from your description and the fact he's done this to others, I doubt that's the case. If the DM doesn't do anything after you explain to him (as calmly as possible) that it's really ruining your experience and you're really uncomfortable with this situation, I don't think there's much else you can do but quit.
Salla
09-19-07, 05:07 PM Hit the CO boards, play a character that will overpower his, and when he gives you crap, challenge him to a one-on-one duel in-character ("You have insulted my honor"), and if he agrees, kick his ass. Lethality optional, but what he's doing is being a bully, so you need to show him that you aren't going to take his crap.

Make sure all die rolls are out in public, center of the table, and everybody observes the goings-on so there's no cheating.
doomblade403x
09-19-07, 05:14 PM JUST going by what you've said here, this would be a green light for a good old fashioned homocide. Who cares if you coul beat him in a one on one encounter. Personally I would wait till there was a combat, then allow my daggar to find an open spot in the back of his head. Once he was dead and ****** I would splain it pretty simply so he could understand.

"You make a habit of dicking with characters in game, and no one has ever really done anything about it. You've gotten characters killed, or killed characters yourself. Well now you know how it feels. You got two choices. Learn to play as a member of the unit and knock off the crap, or get mad and walk. Nonetheless enjoy rolling up your new character."
Gargs454
09-19-07, 05:16 PM Unfortunately, Queenfange has pretty much hit the nail on the head. If neither the offending player nor the DM are willing to do anything about it, you have few options.

You can try talking to the other players in the group and see if they have a problem with it. If enough of you do have a problem and are willing to quit the campaigns over it and start your own group, then you can tell this to the DM and the offending player. If they don't believe you, then you all quit and let them have their own little game.

Other than that, your only other option that I can see is to fight fire with fire. Roll up a Paladin, should particularly work in the second campaign. Detect Evil (if the player and DM claim he is not evil, then they are lying or don't know what they are doing). Then start in with the Smites.

Or you can just roll up a character designed to counter his characters and keep attacking him. What may unfortunately be the problem here is that your group actually likes this kind of game (particularly when it is not their character being targeted) and as a result appreciate what this idiot is doing. As a last resort, his characters again are obviously evil, so find a local Paladin's guild (or church with lots of paladins) and sic them on him.

Quitting a game always sucks, but at the same time, you are not having any fun either, so if nobody is willing to intervene then you really are better off looking for another game.
Salla
09-19-07, 05:19 PM No, not a Paladin. Paladins are far too easily hosed due to the amount of DM interpretation in the code. Take a Cleric of a God Of Taking No Crap, like Kord, or a Druid (the proverbial 'big two').
doomblade403x
09-19-07, 05:26 PM If you were to go with a PK option there is nothing that says you have to be fair. If it's me, and this player is lucky it isn't, and I couldn't kill them while they are upright, any class can die in their sleep.
Salla
09-19-07, 05:30 PM If you were to go with a PK option there is nothing that says you have to be fair. If it's me, and this player is lucky it isn't, and I couldn't kill them while they are upright, any class can die in their sleep.

Good point.
MaggieMae
09-19-07, 05:43 PM I have thought about the PK option. It would be fairly easy to take him out in the new game, if I get the right character build. My only downfall is the new campaign is Eberron-based, and I'm not entirely familiar with the changes in the new setting. He plays a warforged artificer, and I'm going to have to do more research on their weaknesses (other than the obvious anti-metal effects, i.e. rust monsters, heat metal, etc) in order to make the right character build.

I'm afraid if someone doesn't do something, he's just going to keep ******* people off until him, his wife and the DM are all that's left.
DarkNick
09-19-07, 05:50 PM Man this sucks. I hate bullies.

The bad thing is this guy is not going to change. Bullies are for life I reckon.

The only thing you can do with bullies is walk away, or stand up to them. The last always results in them redoubling their efforts to bully you, but if you stand strong they eventually crack in some spectacular way.

Firstly shame on you for not sticking up for the other players that got bullied. Idealy you should show a united front - if he is against one character then he is against you all.

Personally I would just leave the game because things will only get better for you if he or you leaves.

The other option is to become aggresive/pasive opposition. Form a plan with the rest of the players to stand against him. Use in game mechanisms to kick him out of the party i.e. why would our party adventure with someone like you.
Call him out - "why are you being such a dick" that sort of thing. No matter what he does to your characters shrug it off like it is nothing. This will frustrate the hell out of him.

Good luck!
doomblade403x
09-19-07, 06:02 PM Maybe one session where it's just the three of them will be all it takes. Obviously the DM feels this guys antics add something to game, and god only knows that could be. If it's just the three of them for a session the DM is gonna wonder why no one else showed. When he asks you could hae a united front and tell him. We don't appreciate having him treat us like he does, and ruining our game experience. If he hems and haws you can just shrug and tell him that you might come back when things change. Since he isn't interested in the majority of the parties enjoyment, then you will go elsewhere.

Keep in mind this would be a non confrontational way to handle it.

Personally I would kill the character, and make the player mad. That way he knew as a fact I would not be pushed around. Then again your not me, and if he's alot bigger than you and explosive, you might have a real life battle on your hands. Obviously this is a possibility or someone would've stood up to him by now.

You really need to do what's best for YOU.
Salla
09-19-07, 06:03 PM I have thought about the PK option. It would be fairly easy to take him out in the new game, if I get the right character build. My only downfall is the new campaign is Eberron-based, and I'm not entirely familiar with the changes in the new setting. He plays a warforged artificer, and I'm going to have to do more research on their weaknesses (other than the obvious anti-metal effects, i.e. rust monsters, heat metal, etc) in order to make the right character build.

I'm afraid if someone doesn't do something, he's just going to keep ******* people off until him, his wife and the DM are all that's left.

Actually, you don't need to pick on his construct nature; the damage that those things do is pretty weak on the whole, compared to the 7th level spells you can have access to as any full caster.

Anyway, Artificers rely heavily on their toys; they're master craftsmen. Greater Dispel Magic, or if you're really gutsy, Anti-Magic Field, will shut him down pretty quickly, though you need your own method of offense in that instance. And that means Instantaneous Conjuration spells, like the various Orb of (X)'s from Spell Compendium.

Unfortunately, him being a Warforged does nullify the 'kill him in his sleep' aspect of the plan, since they don't sleep.
gojumamoru
09-19-07, 06:06 PM My advice is evil and somewhat bitterly childish but it gets the job done and well this guy needs to be taken down a notch. Rather than talking to him, as you said it would be futile or the DM who just lets it roll talk to the other players. Form an alliance. Next time he acts out "bam" all 3 of you jump on him.

Out of curosity why hasn't the party all ganged up on him before?
MaggieMae
09-19-07, 06:20 PM Out of curosity why hasn't the party all ganged up on him before?

Basically three of the five players in the campaign have tried to take out his character in the primary campaign. What has stopped this from being effective is that his wife plays in the game as well. Since she's new to D&D and RP in general, her characters always jump to his defense. She's gotten alignment penalties for the instances that she's gone against her character's nature to help him, but nonetheless, she always comes to his rescue.
doomblade403x
09-19-07, 06:26 PM So your saying unless your very crafty, your likely to have to pk both characters?
MaggieMae
09-19-07, 06:29 PM So your saying unless your very crafty, your likely to have to pk both characters?

It usually isn't terribly hard to separate them so I think I could take him out 1-on-1. But as far as having the group unite against him, it would be an us versus husband and wife battle.
FoulQ
09-19-07, 06:33 PM Definitely kill him
gojumamoru
09-19-07, 06:49 PM In that case min/max out someone who can mind controll like a monster then mind control his wife into killing him! Oh how sweet that would taste.
Vanraya
09-19-07, 06:50 PM tremendous suckitude there.

Yeah it's time for last ditch efforts. There are in my eyes 2 answers-

Sit the DM and the player down and say if this craziness doesnt stop, you're walking.

Kill the player's characters. Dont let him know at all, just slip in while his character is asleep and kill the offensive little punk.
Gargs454
09-19-07, 08:21 PM Well it certainly sounds like the other two players may back you up. As others have suggested, form a united front. At the next session when the DM starts, simply say "I refuse to travel with him." Get the other two to do so as well. He'll probably flip out and then you can do one of two things. Either he'll try to act on the hooks and expect you to follow, in which case you hang him out to dry, or he'll attack you.

If he attacks you, perhaps the best decision is to simply do nothing. Let him kill your character while you do nothing to fight back. Get the others to do the same, then pack up your stuff and leave. What he really is doing here is trying to show everyone how much better at D&D he is than everyone else, so take away his fun. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. as necessary.

The more I think about it, the more I think that trying to uber-fy a character to take out his and/or his wife's is what he really wants because it gives him that chance to show how much better than you he is. He wants you to throw your best shot at him and still fail because then he is obviously superior. :rolleyes:

Eventually the DM and the idiot will get tired of the game. The DM will have very little to do other than run a campaign for two players instead of 5, and the idiot will get little satisfaction over killing helpless characters. If they for some reason think that this is great (in which case we should all feel sorry for them and give them the number for Jerry's Kids) then start your own game with the other two players.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
MaggieMae 09-19-07, 04:52 PM	I've been playing D&D with a group of friends for around 2 years now. In our primary campaign, we've played characters from level 1 all the way through to level 13. We recently started a new campaign that another of our group members is DMing. I have one major frustration with this group. Around a year ago, a new couple was invited to join the campaign. One was fairly new to D&D and the other was slightly more experienced. Within the first few game sessions, it became clear that the more experienced of the pair was going to be problematic. He started picking on specific player's characters and would either chase the character into hiding and out of the game, kill them, or undermine the character in some other way (i.e. get them killed by guards for crimes not committed, etc). Because he was focusing all of his attention on one or two specific players, who didn't seem to mind that the dude was being a pain, the DM sort of just let it play out. Well, now he has turned his attention to me. In both campaigns, he finds ways to screw with my characters. In the most recent incident, he started on an animal killing rampage to mess with my hippie animal-loving druid. He has also started messing with my character in the other campaign. I've tried my best not to take all of this personally but when he's singling out my characters, its kind of hard not to. It's totally ruining the game for me. Aside from talking it through with the DMs (who think its good for RP) and the guy (who is an idiot and wouldn't listen anyway), does anyone have any good suggestions for how to handle this? I really don't want to quit the game, but it seems like no matter what character I bring into the game, this guy finds a way to mess with them. :mad:
queenfange 09-19-07, 04:58 PM	That really, really sucks. There's a chance that perhaps your character was being overly obnoxious and therefore brought it upon themselves, but from your description and the fact he's done this to others, I doubt that's the case. If the DM doesn't do anything after you explain to him (as calmly as possible) that it's really ruining your experience and you're really uncomfortable with this situation, I don't think there's much else you can do but quit.
Salla 09-19-07, 05:07 PM	Hit the CO boards, play a character that will overpower his, and when he gives you crap, challenge him to a one-on-one duel in-character ("You have insulted my honor"), and if he agrees, kick his ass. Lethality optional, but what he's doing is being a bully, so you need to show him that you aren't going to take his crap. Make sure all die rolls are out in public, center of the table, and everybody observes the goings-on so there's no cheating.
doomblade403x 09-19-07, 05:14 PM	JUST going by what you've said here, this would be a green light for a good old fashioned homocide. Who cares if you coul beat him in a one on one encounter. Personally I would wait till there was a combat, then allow my daggar to find an open spot in the back of his head. Once he was dead and ****** I would splain it pretty simply so he could understand. "You make a habit of dicking with characters in game, and no one has ever really done anything about it. You've gotten characters killed, or killed characters yourself. Well now you know how it feels. You got two choices. Learn to play as a member of the unit and knock off the crap, or get mad and walk. Nonetheless enjoy rolling up your new character."
Gargs454 09-19-07, 05:16 PM	Unfortunately, Queenfange has pretty much hit the nail on the head. If neither the offending player nor the DM are willing to do anything about it, you have few options. You can try talking to the other players in the group and see if they have a problem with it. If enough of you do have a problem and are willing to quit the campaigns over it and start your own group, then you can tell this to the DM and the offending player. If they don't believe you, then you all quit and let them have their own little game. Other than that, your only other option that I can see is to fight fire with fire. Roll up a Paladin, should particularly work in the second campaign. Detect Evil (if the player and DM claim he is not evil, then they are lying or don't know what they are doing). Then start in with the Smites. Or you can just roll up a character designed to counter his characters and keep attacking him. What may unfortunately be the problem here is that your group actually likes this kind of game (particularly when it is not their character being targeted) and as a result appreciate what this idiot is doing. As a last resort, his characters again are obviously evil, so find a local Paladin's guild (or church with lots of paladins) and sic them on him. Quitting a game always sucks, but at the same time, you are not having any fun either, so if nobody is willing to intervene then you really are better off looking for another game.
Salla 09-19-07, 05:19 PM	No, not a Paladin. Paladins are far too easily hosed due to the amount of DM interpretation in the code. Take a Cleric of a God Of Taking No Crap, like Kord, or a Druid (the proverbial 'big two').
doomblade403x 09-19-07, 05:26 PM	If you were to go with a PK option there is nothing that says you have to be fair. If it's me, and this player is lucky it isn't, and I couldn't kill them while they are upright, any class can die in their sleep.
Salla 09-19-07, 05:30 PM	If you were to go with a PK option there is nothing that says you have to be fair. If it's me, and this player is lucky it isn't, and I couldn't kill them while they are upright, any class can die in their sleep. Good point.
MaggieMae 09-19-07, 05:43 PM	I have thought about the PK option. It would be fairly easy to take him out in the new game, if I get the right character build. My only downfall is the new campaign is Eberron-based, and I'm not entirely familiar with the changes in the new setting. He plays a warforged artificer, and I'm going to have to do more research on their weaknesses (other than the obvious anti-metal effects, i.e. rust monsters, heat metal, etc) in order to make the right character build. I'm afraid if someone doesn't do something, he's just going to keep ******* people off until him, his wife and the DM are all that's left.
DarkNick 09-19-07, 05:50 PM	Man this sucks. I hate bullies. The bad thing is this guy is not going to change. Bullies are for life I reckon. The only thing you can do with bullies is walk away, or stand up to them. The last always results in them redoubling their efforts to bully you, but if you stand strong they eventually crack in some spectacular way. Firstly shame on you for not sticking up for the other players that got bullied. Idealy you should show a united front - if he is against one character then he is against you all. Personally I would just leave the game because things will only get better for you if he or you leaves. The other option is to become aggresive/pasive opposition. Form a plan with the rest of the players to stand against him. Use in game mechanisms to kick him out of the party i.e. why would our party adventure with someone like you. Call him out - "why are you being such a dick" that sort of thing. No matter what he does to your characters shrug it off like it is nothing. This will frustrate the hell out of him. Good luck!
doomblade403x 09-19-07, 06:02 PM	Maybe one session where it's just the three of them will be all it takes. Obviously the DM feels this guys antics add something to game, and god only knows that could be. If it's just the three of them for a session the DM is gonna wonder why no one else showed. When he asks you could hae a united front and tell him. We don't appreciate having him treat us like he does, and ruining our game experience. If he hems and haws you can just shrug and tell him that you might come back when things change. Since he isn't interested in the majority of the parties enjoyment, then you will go elsewhere. Keep in mind this would be a non confrontational way to handle it. Personally I would kill the character, and make the player mad. That way he knew as a fact I would not be pushed around. Then again your not me, and if he's alot bigger than you and explosive, you might have a real life battle on your hands. Obviously this is a possibility or someone would've stood up to him by now. You really need to do what's best for YOU.
Salla 09-19-07, 06:03 PM	I have thought about the PK option. It would be fairly easy to take him out in the new game, if I get the right character build. My only downfall is the new campaign is Eberron-based, and I'm not entirely familiar with the changes in the new setting. He plays a warforged artificer, and I'm going to have to do more research on their weaknesses (other than the obvious anti-metal effects, i.e. rust monsters, heat metal, etc) in order to make the right character build. I'm afraid if someone doesn't do something, he's just going to keep ******* people off until him, his wife and the DM are all that's left. Actually, you don't need to pick on his construct nature; the damage that those things do is pretty weak on the whole, compared to the 7th level spells you can have access to as any full caster. Anyway, Artificers rely heavily on their toys; they're master craftsmen. Greater Dispel Magic, or if you're really gutsy, Anti-Magic Field, will shut him down pretty quickly, though you need your own method of offense in that instance. And that means Instantaneous Conjuration spells, like the various Orb of (X)'s from Spell Compendium. Unfortunately, him being a Warforged does nullify the 'kill him in his sleep' aspect of the plan, since they don't sleep.
gojumamoru 09-19-07, 06:06 PM	My advice is evil and somewhat bitterly childish but it gets the job done and well this guy needs to be taken down a notch. Rather than talking to him, as you said it would be futile or the DM who just lets it roll talk to the other players. Form an alliance. Next time he acts out "bam" all 3 of you jump on him. Out of curosity why hasn't the party all ganged up on him before?
MaggieMae 09-19-07, 06:20 PM	Out of curosity why hasn't the party all ganged up on him before? Basically three of the five players in the campaign have tried to take out his character in the primary campaign. What has stopped this from being effective is that his wife plays in the game as well. Since she's new to D&D and RP in general, her characters always jump to his defense. She's gotten alignment penalties for the instances that she's gone against her character's nature to help him, but nonetheless, she always comes to his rescue.
doomblade403x 09-19-07, 06:26 PM	So your saying unless your very crafty, your likely to have to pk both characters?
MaggieMae 09-19-07, 06:29 PM	So your saying unless your very crafty, your likely to have to pk both characters? It usually isn't terribly hard to separate them so I think I could take him out 1-on-1. But as far as having the group unite against him, it would be an us versus husband and wife battle.
FoulQ 09-19-07, 06:33 PM	Definitely kill him
gojumamoru 09-19-07, 06:49 PM	In that case min/max out someone who can mind controll like a monster then mind control his wife into killing him! Oh how sweet that would taste.
Vanraya 09-19-07, 06:50 PM	tremendous suckitude there. Yeah it's time for last ditch efforts. There are in my eyes 2 answers- Sit the DM and the player down and say if this craziness doesnt stop, you're walking. Kill the player's characters. Dont let him know at all, just slip in while his character is asleep and kill the offensive little punk.
Gargs454 09-19-07, 08:21 PM	Well it certainly sounds like the other two players may back you up. As others have suggested, form a united front. At the next session when the DM starts, simply say "I refuse to travel with him." Get the other two to do so as well. He'll probably flip out and then you can do one of two things. Either he'll try to act on the hooks and expect you to follow, in which case you hang him out to dry, or he'll attack you. If he attacks you, perhaps the best decision is to simply do nothing. Let him kill your character while you do nothing to fight back. Get the others to do the same, then pack up your stuff and leave. What he really is doing here is trying to show everyone how much better at D&D he is than everyone else, so take away his fun. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. as necessary. The more I think about it, the more I think that trying to uber-fy a character to take out his and/or his wife's is what he really wants because it gives him that chance to show how much better than you he is. He wants you to throw your best shot at him and still fail because then he is obviously superior. :rolleyes: Eventually the DM and the idiot will get tired of the game. The DM will have very little to do other than run a campaign for two players instead of 5, and the idiot will get little satisfaction over killing helpless characters. If they for some reason think that this is great (in which case we should all feel sorry for them and give them the number for Jerry's Kids) then start your own game with the other two players.