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| Zherog10-06-06, 08:05 AM | Welcome to the Hero Craftsmen 3 contest, where you make a character and get it voted on according to all its facets by our judges, to see who can make the best character! This time, our chosen theme is gladiators. For the purposes of this contest, "gladiator" is defined as somebody who participates in arranged competitive combat for money. There are no limits on class - if you can develop a cool backstory to explain why your sorcerer or wu jen is a gladiator, then go for it! The required level for this competition is 12th, which gives each character 88,000 gp to spend on magic items and equipment, with no more than 29,333 gp to be spent on any one item. Contest Rules The following are rules for the Hero Craftsmen competition, and are subject to change at any time between competition periods. Do note that the Code of Conduct is in effect for all aspects of this contest, and those who break it will be disqualified and their post will be reported. 1) All entries must be submitted with a complete stat block of any format or length, (so long as the stat block is complete, including content like equipment, skills, special abilities etc.) accompanied by a character background also of any format or length. 2) All entries must be submitted by the date and time given by the Coordinating Judge; any entries submitted late will not be judged but they are still allowed to be commented on by other users/judges, and may provide a valuable resource to other players out there. The time given for any competition is likely to be within 2-3 weeks; the exact times and dates will be stated by the Coordinating Judge during the contest's start. 3) After submitting an entry, a 15-minute grace period is allowed to edit your work, in the case of mechanical or formatting errors, typos, and the like. Editing your work after 15 minutes is considered breaking the rules. Hence, we urge you to revise your entry throughly prior to submitting it, to save hassle. 4) One Entry Per Contestant, and that creator must be the submitter (IE-all work has to be original, and not stolen from someone else.) Also, do not post an entry if you do not want it to be officially judged. 5) At the start of each competition, the coordinating judge will state a single theme around which to base your entry. There are no restrictions based on the character theme itself; it is merely a suggested guideline, but following it in a creative and interesting way will give merit to your entry. 6) There are other restrictions, however. Material contained in the three core books is allowed. The use of Psionics, Item Creation rules, Epic Characters, and anything else in the Official SRD (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=d20/article/srd35), as well as the Complete Warrior, Complete Divine, Complete Arcane and Complete Adventurer supplements is allowed. Anything else is forbidden as of yet, including any variant rules as described in Unearthed Arcana. 7) Additionally, the character must be created with the recommended character wealth as discussed in the DMG (note that you may not spend more than 1/3 of your entry's total wealth on any one item), with average hit points per hit die (eg-2.5hp for d4, 3.5hp for d6, 4.5hp for d8, 5.5hp for d10, 6.5hp for d12; Max hit points at 1st level), using the 28 point-buy system, as discussed in the DMG pg169. For those who do not have access to the DMG, the following sample arrays of scores have been set up for your convenience: 18, 14, 12, 10, 8, 8 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10 8) One special rule regarding Crafting: When (and only when) crafting a magic item for your character, the gp cost is 75% of the market price of the item (instead of 50%), and the xp cost is 0, for purposes of this contest. This is to represent that your character may have bought an item prior to crafting it, and the experience that he spent evens out to the required level for the competition. 9) Judges reserve the right to disqualify entries that do not follow the above rules, as they see fit. Scoring Points will be awarded for how well the judges think the character is made and expanded on. Entries from each of the judges will be added up to give a final score. The highest-scoring entry will win gold, second-highest silver, third-highest bronze. The judges may also each give a single entry one bonus point for whatever reason; this bonus point is merely to make out an 'honorable mention' of the competition, and is not likely to make an impact on the results themselves. The judges are expected to be very stingy about their bonus point, meaning that it is possible for no entries to get one. Additionally, the judges reserve the right to post comments on entries, and any contestant may ask to have their scoring (and/or comments) sent to them via PM. Each entry will be scored according to four categories: Thematic Creativity (10 points), Background Content (10 marks), Rules Use (10 points), and Clarity (5 points), for a total of 35 points. Thematic Creativity is a measure of how well the entry fits with the theme of the contest, decided by the coordinating judge at the start of the competition. It is also a measure of how creative the entry is when fitting in with the theme, meaning that taking the most obvious class for the theme may or may not be the best idea. Background Content measures how well-written the background of the entry is, and how creative it is. Including plot points, events that shaped your character, and so on, will earn you high points here. Rules Use is based on how well your character is made mechanically, as well as for how well your entry follows the RAW. Is his attack bonus correct? Has she spent all her skill points? Is all the gold in the sheet accounted for? And the like. Powerful characters will earn at least some points in this category. Clarity is a measure of how well we can read everything. This includes correct grammar (No leet über txt), and legibility of the entry's stat block. We want to be able to find what we need to judge the entry. Note that you don't need to have perfect spelling and grammar to score well here; we all make typos, even when we spend forever proofreading. Hints to Help This is not a competition to see who can make the most optimized character. It is a competition to find who can create the most creative and interesting character; one that you would love to see played in a gaming group. Of course, optimized characters can still be creative and interesting, but optimization is not the sole focus of the competition. Please consider your format before submitting an entry. As judges, we want to know exactly where you got that +3 in Tumble, or how you've laid out your ability scores. If we are helped in this endeavor, it reduces the chances of us (as well as you) making mistakes, and points may be earned for Clarity. For example, you could lay out your modifiers to everything, from AC to Skills to Abilities. If your +3 in Tumble came from 3 ranks, 13 dexterity and a check penalty of -1, point it out to us. If your Strength score of 16 comes from a base of 13, a +2 racial bonus, and a +1 boost at fourth level, point it out to us. Also, gold is a big hassle, so if you show how much everything costs, it saves us the trouble of going IRS on you. Consider including a chart or something that shows the complete level build-up of your entry, incase of cross-class skills, stacking class features and other such stuff that would be otherwise difficult for us judges to detect. Backgrounds are very important in this competition, worth at least 10 points. While your entry's background doesn't have to be literary genius, you are advised to cover at least the basic stuff, like parents, friends, homeland, motivation, behavior, and at least one plot point that a DM can latch onto, among others. In this case, covering most or all of the aspects of a character is more advisable than simply focusing on one or two aspects in great detail. Don't worry, though, length is generally not an issue for us judges. The Leadership feat is quite often a wonderful choice. It offers characters a lot of power, and provides for some excellent background exploration. If you opt to give your PC the Leadership feat, we don't need a full stat block for the cohort or followers; all we need is the cohort's name, race, class(es), and level(s). You can provide the same sort of information for important followers. Note that you can provide more information - but doing so only increases your chances of miscalculating something, and therefore lowering your score. Our list of Eligible Judges are Doopliss (who started Hero Craftsmen), The Chilli God, Zherog, jennibert and JasonOrlandoHawk. The gold-medal winner of each Hero Craftsmen competition will be added to this list as a prize; after each competition, we will seek volunteers for the next contest from the list until we have at least three judges. It is a voluntary thing, so if you (as a recent gold-medal winner) feel uncomfortable with judging, or just don't have the time, that's fine with us. Our judges for this contest will be JasonOrlandoHawk, TheChilliGod, and jennibert; Zherog will be our coordinating judge. This contest starts when this post is made, and is due to end at 11:59pm on Friday the 20th of October (GMT), giving you a full two weeks to enter your characters. Finally, best of luck to all entries. |
| Zherog10-06-06, 08:05 AM | FAQ Can we use races from the MM? An awakened cat perhaps You may use races from the MM; just remember to take level adjustment and racial hit dice into account properly. The problem with the awakened spell, though, is it doesn't give any information on level adjustment and those sorts of stats. Now, it's in the PHB, so it's allowed; just remember that because there's no hard and fast LA, each judge will have to apply their own opinions and believes as to whether or not you followed the rules. That could be a problem. |
| Zherog10-06-06, 08:06 AM | Big List of Entries Zera the Cruel (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=10299028&postcount=10) by Far_Traveler (disqualified for editing after the time limit) Meros “Oxen” Mortanius (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=10300244&postcount=15) by FRRC Raiser "The Halberd" Varden (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=10301983&postcount=17), by Haruspex Varshak "The Swords" (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=10313069&postcount=28), by Endarrion Kor Schtiel "Steel" (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=10315446&postcount=31), by Kit_the_Odd Slice (aka Purainia Tlathan) (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=10322906&postcount=36), by Heros_Backpack Kubal, Bane of the West (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=10360174&postcount=52), by DarthLoser Chief White Eagle son of Ten Bears of the Defohy tribe (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=10392904&postcount=66), by edwardsobel |
| psionichamster10-06-06, 08:14 AM | ahh, see, this time i will not wait until 12:00 Eastern Std. Time, i will follow the rules and submit by 12:00 GMT (or, gasp, before the deadline!) namaste' the hamster |
| Zherog10-06-06, 09:59 AM | This time, we tweaked the rules so the contest ends at 11:59pm to avoid any confusion. :) |
| jennibert10-07-06, 01:26 AM | and a quick :bump: |
| BowenSilverclaw198610-07-06, 04:07 AM | I like this theme, guys, really. If I've got some spare time I'll see if I can post Traximus, my anthropomorphic triceratops (and yes, that is a rip from the new TMNT show ;) ). He was also the first to enter in Gareth's Gladiatorial Arene on the Monsters section (and he won :D ). Greetings, Bowen Silverclaw. |
| Zherog10-07-06, 10:54 AM | Just remember that anothropomorphic creatures don't appear in any of the "approved" books for this contest; they're in Savage Species. A reminder for everybody: The approved books are the three core books (PHB, DMG, MM); psionics as the appear in the official WotC SRD; Complete Adventurer, Complete Arcane, Complete Divine, and Complete Warrior. |
| BowenSilverclaw198610-08-06, 02:33 AM | Right, no Savage Species, too bad. Sorry about that one, my enthusiasm got the best of me. O well, maybe I can think of another character that could be a gladiator (maybe a weretriceratops :D , no, just kidding ;) ). Anywayz, I'll see what I can come up with. Greetings, Bowen Silverclaw. |
| Far_Traveler10-08-06, 07:07 AM | Zera the Cruel "All is lost in Rage. All but Strength." Lawful Evil Human Cleric of Rage 12 Base stats 16 str(10)+2lvl 8 dex(0) 14con(6) 10int(2) 15wis(8)+1lvl 10cha(2) 28 pts Domains: Strength, War Rebuke Undead Feats: Weapon focus(scythe)B, Extend spell, Persistant spell, Divine Metamagic(Persistant spell), Power attack, Extra Turning, Sudden Quicken Spell Initative: -1(+1) HP 81(105) Saves: +10/+3/+11 (16/9/17) Grapple/BaB: +13/+9(+19/+12) AC: 10+1dex+12armor+5shield+3narm=31 Attack: +15/+10(+23/+18/+13) Scythe (9/12Bab, 1/3 weapon, 1 feat, 4/7str) Damage: 2d4+6 plus 1 con(2d4+12 plus 1 con), x4crit Skills: Concentration +19(15 rank, 4 con) Intimidate +7(7.5rank, 0cha) Spells: 6/6/5/5/3/3/2 (+1 domain) 0: mendingx2, detect poison, detect magic, light, purify food/drink 1: deathwatch, entropic shield, divine favorx2, shield of faith 2: death knell, silence, lesser restorationx2, aid 3: extended bear's endurance/cats grace/owls wisdom, invisibility purge, magic vestment 4: restoration, spell immunity, freedom of movement 5: extended magic weapon, insect plague, spell resistance 6: Heal, blade barrier Domain spells: 1: Enlarge Person 2: Spiritual Weapon 3: Magic Vestment 4: Divine Power (persisted) 5: Rightous Might 6: Stoneskin Gear: +1 wounding scythe (18,318) Masterwork Full-Plate(1,650) Stoneskin component x4(1,000) Restoration Component x5(500) Spell component Pouch and Silver Holy Symbol(Rage icon)(30) 2 flasks and 4 peices of chalk(1) 6 caltrops bags(6) Signet ring(Rage)(5) Amulet of Natural Armor +3(9000) Cloak of Resistance +4(16000) Ring of counterspells(greater dispel magic)(4000) Gauntlets of rust(11,500) Winged boots(16000) +1 Animated Heavy steel shield (9170) Scroll of meld into stone(375) Scroll of nuetralize poison(375) 70gp in money pouch Backround: Zera claims to be an embodiment of Wrath. No one really disputes the matter, as he has been undefeated in a fair fight. Zera Grew up in a Tribe of Orcs who tap into forces beyond thier control, giving into emotion to produce powerful effects. Oddly enough, Zera seemed primed for the job, and he honed his skills to a fine edge. After going out on his own on a quest to perfect the art of rage, he found Brassmoon city, where he found the gladitorial arena to quite to his liking... Zera's holy symbol is the Rage Icon, which depicts a Bloody, clawed fist with a flaming border. Notes: the () in the combat stats section take into account the spells that have durations longer then 1round/level, which are cast before entering the arena "Well, you think you can beat Wrath!" [battle start] "Lets see how you handle your own rage!" [cast insect plague] "While you do that, here's a sneak peek at mine!" [Spiritual weapon] "Hahaha! You cannot win" [buffing while locusts attack] "Enough!" [calls off swarm and attacks] "Devour! RUST!" [uses rusting grasp] "What did I tell you! You cannot kill Rage!" [gloat] "All is lost in rage... even you." [non-gloat win] "Tis just a scratch, HA!" [Heal] "Behold the thousand dancing blades of rancor!" [blade barrier] "No... I need... More... Rage..."[lose, or cast meld into stone from scroll] That last quote was the inspiration for this character... cookie for anyone who guesses who said it Battle quotes are fun! |
| Far_Traveler10-08-06, 07:09 AM | On another note: Perhaps we can have our gladiators duke it out? |
| FRRC10-08-06, 11:01 AM | Just out of interest, how do you make those text box things that you click on and it hides/reveals text? |
| jennibert10-08-06, 11:25 AM | Just out of interest, how do you make those text box things that you click on and it hides/reveals text? I had to ask that the first competition. :) Here's how you do it: [ sblock] Insert text here [ /sblock] Remove the spaces after the [ brackets to make it actually work, and there you go! |
| jennibert10-08-06, 11:27 AM | On another note: Perhaps we can have our gladiators duke it out? HC #1 was going to have some sort of adventure component...and it never actually happened. As of right now there is no plan for having gladiators duke it out...but any entrants who want to set something up on their own are welcome to! Oh, and thanks for the entry, Far_Traveler. It makes we judges happy to see someone enter early for once.... |
| FRRC10-08-06, 12:01 PM | Meros “Oxen” Mortanius Chaotic Evil Half-Orc Barbarian (2) / Fighter (7) / Ravager (3) Age: 25 Height: 5’ 11 Weight: 241lbs Deity: Erythnul Stats (Base): STR: 20 (16) (+2 Racial) DEX: 10 (2) CON: 14 (6) WIS: 9 (1) INT: 6 (0) (-2 Racial) CHA: 9 (3) (-2 Racial) Stats (Current): STR: 26 [+8] (+2 Level, +4 Belt) DEX: 10 [+0] CON: 14 [+2] WIS: 10 [+0] (+1 Level) INT: 6 [-2] CHA: 9 [-1] HP: 109 AC: 24 = 10 + 9 (Armour) + 2 (Deflection) + 2 (Natural) + 1 (Insight) Initiative: +4 (Feat) Base Attack Bonus: 12 (+12 / +7 / +2) Attack (Greatsword): +23 / +18 / +13 (Base + 8 (STR) + 2 (Magic) +1 (Feat)) Damage (Greatsword): 2d6 + 2 (Magic) +12 (STR x 1.5) +2 (Feat) + 1d6 (Fire) + 2d6 (Unholy) Critical: 17-20 x2 (Improved Critical) + 1d10 (Flaming Burst) Grapple: + 22 Base Speed: 40ft (30ft in Medium Armour) Saves: Fortitude: 16 = 11(Base) + 2 (CON) + 2 (Cloak) Will: 4 = 3 (Base) + -1 (WIS) + 2 (Cloak) Reflex: 5 = 3 (Base) + 0 (DEX) + 2 (Cloak) Skills: Survival: 4 = 4 (Ranks) Knowledge (Religion): 1 = 3 (Ranks) + -2 (INT) Intimidate: 9 = 10 (Ranks) + -1 (CHA) Feats: 1: Power Attack 3: Improved Toughness, (Fighter) Weapon Focus (Greatsword) 4: (Fighter) Weapon Specialization (Greatsword) 6: Improved Unarmed Strike, (Fighter) Improved Initiative 8: (Fighter) Improved Sunder 9: Improved Critical (Greatsword) 12: Extend Rage (+5 Rounds) Abilities: Fast Movement (+10ft) Illiteracy Rage 1/day (+4 STR and CON, +2 Morale on Will saves, -2 AC. Lasts for 10 rounds) Uncanny Dodge Pain Touch 1/day (Unarmed touch attack + 1d8 + 3 (Ravager level) or Weapon + 1d4 + 3 (Ravager level) Aura of Fear 10ft, 1/day (-2 on saves. Lasts for 2 rounds (3 + -1 (CHA))) Cruellest Cut 1/day (Weapon + 1d4 CON Damage) Items: +2 Unholy Greatsword of Flaming Burst - 24,350gp +4 Breastplate of Light Fortification (25%) - 18,200gp Ring of Protection +2 (Deflection) - 8,000gp Amulet of Natural Armour +2 (Natural) - 8,000gp Cloak of Resistance +2 - 4,000gp Ioun Stone (Dusty Rose) + 1 AC (Insight) – 5,000gp Belt of Giant Strength +4 – 16,000gp Armbands of Might (+2 on Strength based checks and strength skills, +2 on Power attack (With -2 penalty)) – 4,100gp 350gp leftover. They called him Oxen. The crowd had given him that name in the arena for his combat style and his looks. On cold winter days, puffs of air could be seen coming out of nose like that of a bull, ready to charge. Added to this the fact that he usually charged into his enemies in a furious rage, it’s not surprising that he got the name. Meros was never very smart either and paid for it in reckless wounds. Meros enjoyed the fighting, the slaughtering. He often killed the opponent even if the king had his thumb up. The only ones that usually survived were the ones that ran away faster than Meros could chase them. Meros (Meh-ross) started out life living with wealthy foster parents, Elden and Maria Hatter. Maria was unable to bear child but she never was fond of children. Meros’ parents planned to take him out places to set an example to others that outcasts were people too, though this tactic was merely using Meros to gain reputation among the people. An example was all he was to them. If he wasn’t out with his parents, he was put in his room and never talked to or called upon until meal times. He was never allowed friends either. He had a private tutor to help him learn to read and write, but Meros was unable to learn and was often scalded and punished for it. One afternoon, when they were out at a small party, a religious crusade raided the town. They killed everyone who would not convert to Erythnul’s order and took all the children to be sold as slaves. Meros tried to put up a fight but was beaten and captured. His foster parents willingly turned to the order of Erythnul but denied having any involvement with their child. The town was ruined and they had no need for him anymore. He spent his teen years doing various chores, moving from one slave master to the next. He often got into fights with other slaves and sometimes killed them which made him too expensive to handle. One man saw this as an opportunity and purchased Meros. The man introduced himself as Kurn (Kerrn), he was a Slave master who purchased slaves to fight in the gladiator’s arena. Kurn was an excellent fighter although he never fought in the arena. He spent some time training Meros in various combat tactics, how to destroy weapons, vital spots on a person. They almost became friends, if it weren’t for Meros’ lack of people skills and Kurn’s constant taunting of Meros’ intelligence. This insult was often replied with a punch in the nose. Meros spent the rest of his years fighting in the arena, winning battles and scars. He was given many gifts as respect for abilities in combat. The fortified breastplate of a previous gladiator, who lost to old age, was just one of these many gifts. During one fight, Meros was faced against multiple opponents, each with similar tattoos on their face. Meros lost that fight but was allowed to live. He was later confronted by the warriors. They were a group that called themselves Ravagers and offered a place in their society to Meros. He accepted. Upon accepting, he was told that they have many contacts and it was them who rigged the fight so that he would live. But before he could be fully initiated, he need to perform a sacrifice. Anticipating that Meros would join, they had prepared two sacrifices, Elden and Maria. Meros smiled at the thought of these acrifices. Holding each other, Meros threw them into the ritual fire and made sure they stayed there by driving his sword through them both. They both screamed in pain as the flames consumed them. Meros began prayingto Erythnul while the Ravager’s priest uttered a prayer onto the sword. Black flames ran up the sword's blade as and presence of evil began to surround it. The ritual was over and Meros had been accepted as a Ravager. His new sword, Hatter’s End, satisfied him greatly and brought him much blood. Holding it closely to his ear, the sword emitted the moans of Elden and Maria, bringing a smile to his face. Up until now, there had been no plans to free Meros from the gladiator's ring, he brought much money to his employer, but the Ravagers were planning for his release so he may work for them indefinatly. Perhaps he will, one day, be able to slaughter those not so deserving. |
| Zherog10-08-06, 02:18 PM | List of entries has been updated to include our two entries. As a quick note: I'd like to encourage others to comment and critique entries - one of the best ways to learn the system is to look over somebody else's stuff. One quick request, though, for anybody who is going to post comments. Please stick your comments inside a spoiler block, and make it clear you're critiquing somebody's entry, so the judges can avoid reading it. I'm looking forward to seeing more entries! Cheers! :pint: |
| Haruspex10-08-06, 04:14 PM | Raiser "The Halberd" Varden "Money's not the issue. I just need some practice." Neutral Evil Human Fighter 12 Age: 31 Height: 5' 10" Weight: 191 lb. Inital Base Stats 15 Strength (8) 15 Dexterity (8) 10 Constitution (2) 14 Intelligence (6) 8 Wisdom (0) 12 Charisma (4) 28 pts Current Stats 22 Strength [+6] (+3 from levels, +4 from belt) 15 Dexterity [+2] 10 Constitution [+0] 14 Intelligence [+2] 8 Wisdom [-1] 12 Charisma [+1] Feats Level 1: Weapon Focus (Halberd), Two-Weapon Fighting, Combat Reflexes. Level 2: Power Attack. Level 3: Spinning Halberd. Level 4: Weapon Specialization (Halberd). Level 6: Cleave, Leap Attack. Level 8: Greater Weapon Focus (Halberd). Level 9: Improved Critical (Halberd). Level 10: Combat Expertise Level 12: Greater Weapon Specialization (Halberd), Combat Intuition Spinning Halberd is from Complete Warrior Leap Attack and Combat Intuition are from Complete Adventurer Initative: +2 (+2 Dex) Hit Points: 70 Speed: 30 feet (20 feet in armor) Saves: Fortitude +8, Reflex +6, Will +3 BAB/Grapple: +12/+18 AC: 10 + 2 Dex + 9 armor +2 ring = 23 Full Attack: +23/+18/+13 Halberd and +18 (Spinning Halberd) Damage: Halberd 1d10 + 16, 19-20/x3 Extra attack from Spinning Halberd 1d6 + 10, x2 Class Skills: Climb +9 (6 ranks, +6 Str, -3 armor) Craft (weaponsmithing) +13 (11 ranks, +2 Int, +2 masterwork tools) Handle Animal +7 (6 ranks, +1 Cha) Intimidate +16 (15 ranks, +1 cha) Jump +28 (15 ranks, +6 Str, +10 ring, -3 armor) Ride +8 (6 ranks, +2 Dex) Swim +6 (6 ranks, +6 Str, -6 armor) Cross-Class Skills: Sense Motive +4 (5 ranks, -1 Wis) Gear: +3 Halberd (18,310 gp) Triple Weapon Capsule Retainer (450 gp) Quickflame Capsule (25 gp) Quickfrost Capsule (25 gp) Quickspark Capsule (25 gp) Mithral Full Plate of Speed (26,500 gp) Locked Gauntlet (8 gp) Ring of Improved Jumping (10,000 gp) Ring of Protection +2 (8,000 gp) Masterwork Weaponsmithing tools (55 gp) Type I bag of holding (2,500 gp) Belt of Giant Strength +4 (16,000 gp) Potion of Tongues (750 gp) Potion of Remove Disease (750 gp) Potion of Barkskin +5 (1,200 gp) Potion of Cure Serious Wounds (750 gp) Potion of Neutralize poison (750 gp) 6 x Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds (6 x 300 gp = 1800 gp) Dagger (2 gp) Spare Money (100 gp) Triple Capsule Retainer, Quickflame Capsule, Quickfrost Capsule, Quickspark Capsule are from Complete Warrior Background: Raiser is a red haired human man in his early thirties with an equally red beard. Rumor has it that his brother is also a halberdier, but Raiser refuses to talk about 'unimportant' matters such as that. He makes his living as a sellsword (or a halberd for hire), and has dedicated himself to the art of using the weapon. Though he regards himself as morally flexible, his actions on the job mark him as an evil man. During one campaign where he participated in counter-insurgency, he promised to return the daughter of the rebel leader if he surrendered. The man surrendered, and was told that his daughter had already died. Raiser returned the girl's corpse to him, then decapitated the heartbroken man with a stroke from his halberd. The arrangement was made in secret, so the civilians never learned of Raiser's ploy. They assumed that the rebel leader had been assassinated. When asked later as to why he did it, Raiser replied that it was, all options considered, the quickest way to end the conflict. He pointed out that the rebel leader was responsible for the deaths of hundreds, therefore it was all fair. His choice of weapon dates back to his early teens, when he witnessed a weapon master competition. This event consisted of fights between similarly armed warriors who wielded a single weapon, such as daggers, long swords, and so on. Out of all the matches, Raiser was most impressed by the halberd matches. The skill displayed by the halberdiers convinced the young lad that the halberd was the ideal weapon.When he was old enough to join, he did, using a halberd he borrowed from a family friend. He was soundly beaten in the first preliminary match, and vowed never to return until he had mastered the halberd. Since then he has been improving his skills on training dummies as well as live targets. He pays well for unaugmented (meaning no magic or magic items) training sessions with expert warriors, and is known to be honourable as long as they can keep up with him. If he is bested, the victor can expect a free drink at the local tavern. Those who offer their services but are easily defeated end up face down in the ditch, food for stray dogs. After more than a decade on the road, with numerous corpses behind him, Raiser has become a competent warrior, but still unsatisfied and determined to become the very best. |
| FRRC10-08-06, 06:17 PM | Oh I forgot to thanks to jennibert for the box thingy :) |
| bhu10-08-06, 06:26 PM | This is gonna be a really weird question....but since the 3 core books are allowed...can we use races from the MM? An awakened cat perhaps :D |
| Far_Traveler10-08-06, 06:40 PM | HC #1 was going to have some sort of adventure component...and it never actually happened. As of right now there is no plan for having gladiators duke it out...but any entrants who want to set something up on their own are welcome to! Oh, and thanks for the entry, Far_Traveler. It makes we judges happy to see someone enter early for once.... Seeing as how its not an adventure,but just a mere galditorial tournament, I think we can handle it. On another note, I seem to have forgotten about the change in owls wisdom/etc spell's durations, changed it to instead merely include spell as inherent that have durations of 1min/level or more. |
| FRRC10-08-06, 07:23 PM | Audible Gasp! :p |
| Zherog10-08-06, 08:31 PM | 3) After submitting an entry, a 15-minute grace period is allowed to edit your work, in the case of mechanical or formatting errors, typos, and the like. Editing your work after 15 minutes is considered breaking the rules. Hence, we urge you to revise your entry throughly prior to submitting it, to save hassle. I'm sorry, Far_Traveler. :( We're going to need to disqualify your entry. This is gonna be a really weird question....but since the 3 core books are allowed...can we use races from the MM? An awakened cat perhaps :D You may use races from the MM; just remember to take level adjustment and racial hit dice into account properly. The problem with the awakened spell, though, is it doesn't give any information on level adjustment and those sorts of stats. Now, it's in the PHB, so it's allowed; just remember that because there's no hard and fast LA, each judge will have to apply their own opinions and believes as to whether or not you followed the rules. That could be a problem. *** FAQ and entry list updated. |
| jennibert10-08-06, 10:27 PM | Oh I forgot to thanks to jennibert for the box thingy :) You are quite welcome. |
| bhu10-08-06, 10:28 PM | hmm will try adjust it to keep within limits if i go that route. awakened cat with 10 levels of ninja perhaps.......or maybe a Chuul Swashbuckler |
| Far_Traveler10-09-06, 08:24 AM | I'm sorry, Far_Traveler. :( We're going to need to disqualify your entry. It's okay... Can I make another one? Got a great idea about a Paladin... If only I could remember all the different divine feats... I'm Pretty sure they were each =Cha for bonuses, and lasted Cha rounds... Wasn't it AC, Atk, Dmg, Energy Resistance, Damage Reduction/-, and I think there was one about Undead bane?(all free actions) |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-09-06, 10:51 AM | Yes, yes... I see we have two contestants who have entered the ring. It also seems that we have more on the way. This is good. A spectacular battle is in the making. My compliments to the brave souls who have stepped forward thus far. I can tell I will greatly enjoy judging this competition. To those who have entered, please, if you can, help spread the word of this marvelous battle. To those who have yet to enter, do not hesitate for long. Glory does not come to the cowardly. And some advice, if I may. Remember that this is a test of your ability to craft a high quality character, not a test of your character's ability to beat other characters in a match. That is why the entries are set to be judged, not pitted against one another in a massive battle to the bloody, bitter end. Best of luck to all who have entered, and those who shall soon enter the ring. May the Force be with You! |
| FRRC10-09-06, 11:33 AM | May the Force be with You! I'm confused, which game are we playing? Dungeons and Rancors? |
| Endarrion10-09-06, 07:31 PM | Varshak "The Swords" LE Hobgoblin Fighter 11 (ECL 12) Height: 5'10" Weight: 200lbs AC 24 (9 armor + 2 ring + 3 dex) HP 120 Base Stats Str 16 (10 pts) Dex 15 (5 pts +2 racial) Con 16 (6 pts +2 racial) Int 13 (5 pts) Wis 10 (2 pts) Cha 8 (0 pts) Current Stats Str 18 (+2 gauntlets) Dex 16 (+1 level 4) Con 20 (+4 amulet) Int 13 Wis 10 Cha 9 (+1 level 8) Speed: 20ft (hvy armor), 30ft base Initiative: +3 (dex) Base Attack Bonus: +11 (11/6/1) Grapple: +15 Attacks: +3 Bastard Sword +17/+12/+7 (base11 + 1WF + 4str +3 magic - 2TWF) Damage: 1d10 +7 (17-20x2) (4str + 3mag, imp. crit) +2 Defending Shortsword +13 (base11 + 2mag + 4str) Damage: 1d6 +4 (19-20 x2) (2str + 2mag) Saves Fort: +14 (7base + 5con + 2cloak) Ref: +8 (3base + 3dex +2cloak) Will: +5 (3base + 2cloak) Skills Intimidate: +13 (14ranks - 1cha) Sense Motive: +7 (7ranks) Feats 1: Exotic(Bastard Sword), Focus(Bastard Sword) 2: Two-Weapon Fighting 3: Two-Weapon Defense 4: Combat Expertise 6: Dodge, Mobility 8: Improved Critical(Bastard Sword) 9: Spring Attack 10: Whirlwind Abilities Darkvision 60 ft Equipment +3 Bastard Sword (18,335gp) +2 Defending Shortsword (18,310gp) Amulet of Health +4 (16,000gp) Mithral Full Plate (10,500gp) Gauntlets of Ogre Power (4,000gp) Ring of Protection +2 (8,000gp) Cloak of Resistance +2 (4,000gp) Circlet of Blasting, Minor (6,480gp) 3 Potions of Cure Serious Wounds (2,250gp) 125gp left over. Background Varshak was a young hobgoblin when his village was raided by a nearby human warlord. The hobgoblins and the warlord Tandrik had a long feud over land rights that had lasted for a decade. Tandrik, in an underhanded attack, surprised the hobgoblins during a period of agreed-upon peace. Tandrik killed all hobgoblins of adult age and enslaved the rest. Varkshak was one of nearly fifty others that were taken to fight under Tandrik’s flag in the gladiatorial arena. Varshak was a mere five years old when he was enslaved along with the near fifty others. By the age of fifteen Varshak was one of only four other surviving slaves from his village. The others had all been killed because of escape attempts or died during the harsh training. Varshak competed in his first battle as a gladiator on his sixteenth birthday. He had to fight and kill his four village-mates. He did so with brutal efficiency. After the fight, Tandrik brought Varshak to his home for a dinner and congratulations. Tandrik believed that the young Varshak was firmly under his thumb. He could not have been more mistaken. At the dinner Varshak killed Tandrik and seven armed guards with only his bare hands and some dinner knives. After the slaughter, Varshak was severly injured but nursed himself back to health. He contemplated committing suicide but thought better of it. He returned to the arena as a free agent, entering into contracts with the arena. There he rose in popularity and skill until he became the crowd favorite at the age of twenty-five. Varshak is now twenty-six years old and still at the height of his fame and fortune. Fighting Style Varshak’s fighting style was born more of desperation than tactics on the bloody field of the arena when he had to battle his four village-mates. After the fight he adopted the two-weapon fighting style as his own. He was naturally quick, strong, and tough and handled the twin-sword style with ease. Varshak developed his technique into a fighting style that emphasized defense rather than offense. This gained him the ire of the crowd for several fights until they realized that his style, although not incredibly flashy, was brutally effective. He would end the fights quickly and viciously after letting his opponent tire of the small wounds and wild swinging. Although his fame did not happen over night, he has become one of the most loved gladiators in the land. Varshak’s greatest leap in his style was after a battle that almost cost him his life. He was pitted against six other warriors. It was not the free-for-all that Varshak was used to, but a six against one handicap. Varshak barely escaped the battle and decided to expand his style to include techniques valuable against many foes. Three fights later, another handicap battle was announced. Deciding to test his new technique, he entered the battle. There he unleashed his “Whirling Blades” technique and slew four of the five warriors in one fell swoop. The fifth was not long for this world. Appearance Varshak is not what one would consider handsome by any standards. He has several scars and is average in looks as far as hobgoblins are concerned. He is not as heavily muscled as some would expect but has a toughness that exceeds that of most other warriors. He stands at just under six feet tall and weighs two-hundred pounds. He is barrel-chested and has large shoulders. His legs are muscular and propel his thick body with grace and ease. He wears full plate armor made of mithral that allows him to take full advantage of his agility. His appearance is a source of consternation for his foes as they expect him to be slow and ponderous. His agility and quickness have saved his life more than once. Personality Varshak considers himself honorable, but efficient. Others would call him brutal. He never cheats in his fights (kicking sand into an opponents face and such) but always finds a way to win. He figures that he will continue fighting in the arena until he can afford to buy a fortress where his old village used to be. He will then rebuild the area and make it a home for his hobgoblin brethren once again. He also plans on enslaving any of the humans in the area to sell them to the arena. A sweet sort of irony, in his opinion. |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-09-06, 08:38 PM | My name sake, Jason Orlando Hawk, is a powerful Jedi character that I have retired, thus when Jason speaks, he speaks as a Jedi. Forgive me, but it's just habit. May the Force be with You! |
| Far_Traveler10-09-06, 08:48 PM | You know what? I have no idea about how to build my character with next to no knowledge of the divine feats, and I don't really have an idea on what else to use. Quite frankly, I find a flaw in having many one-use items on a gladiator, as they fight ALOT, and spending that kidna cash seems kind of wrong. Shame, Longinus "The Way to dusk" Archeva shall not be seeing this competition (if anyone else want's to take up his mantle, he is a Paladin with a lance/spear focusing on unmounted combat, heavy use of divine feats to synergize charisma as an all-important stat) "Tremble, and ye shall dispair!" |
| Kit_the_Odd10-10-06, 12:14 AM | Kor Schtiel "Steel" "I may fight for a living, but fighting is not my life." Human Male, Fighter5/Dervish5/Tempest2 Neutral Good Original Str - 12 Dex - 16 Con - 14 Int - 14 Wis - 8 Cha - 10 Current w/ equipment Str - 12 Dex - 23 (+3 levels, +4 Gloves of Dexterity) Con - 14 Int - 14 Wis - 8 Cha - 10 Hp - 94 AC - 24( +6 armor, +6 Dex, +2 Dervish AC Bonus) 18 Touch , 18 Flat Footed AC - 29 w/ weapons and armor active (+1 Tempest Defense, +4 deflect from armor) Init +10 (+6 Dex, +4 Imp.Init, ) Fort +10 (+8 base, +2 Con) Ref +11 (+5 base, +6 Dex) Will +4 (+5 base, -1 Wis) BAB +12, Grap. +13, Melee +13, Ranged +18 Attacks: Dual wield +1 keen frost scimitar (primary) & +1 keen shock scimitar (secondary) Attack: +19/+19/+14/+14/+9 (+12 BAB, +6 Dex (weapon finesse), +1 Weapon Focus, -2 two-handed, +1 Ambidexterity (Tempest), +1 weapon enhancement) Damage: (1d6 + 1 Str + 1 enhancement +1d6 cold/electricity, 15-20/x2) Dervish Dance adds +3 to attack and damage rolls Armor: Crimson Coat of Ilpharzz (+4 light leather) (light, +6 AC, max Dex +6, 0 check penalty) 3/day - produce flames which give +4 deflection bonus to AC, fire resistance 15, and deals 1d4 fire damage to attacker for every non-reach melee attack Feats: Combat Expertise, Dodge, Mobility, Spring Attack (from Dervish), Improved Init, Two-Weapon Fighting, Improved Two-Weapon Fighting, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus (scimitar), Versatile Performer Class Abilities: From Dervish PrC - AC Bonus(Ex): +2 AC in no or light armor and no shield, lost if immobilized or helpless Dervish Dance(Ex): 3/day, lasts 7 rounds Movement Mastery(Ex): take 10 on Jump, Perform(dance), Tumble Slashing Blades: scimitar is light weapon Fast Movement(Ex): +10 ft in light armor and light load Dance of Death: Cleave feat From Tempest PrC - Tempest Defense(Ex): +1 AC when wielding 2 weapons and light armor Ambidexterity(Ex): attack penalties reduced by 1 in light or no armor Languages: Common, Dwarven, Orc -Bluff +8 (+5 ranks, +3 CoP) -Intimidate +20 (+15 ranks, +3 CoP, +3 Bluff) -Jump +12 (+5 ranks, +1 Str, +2 Tumble, +4 speed) -Listen -1 (-1 Wis) -Perform(dance) +18 (+15 ranks, +3 CoP) -Perform(weapon drill) +32 (+15 ranks (Versatile Performer), +3 CoP, +6 (1/2 BAB), +2 Combat Expertise, +2 Two-Weapon Fighting, +2 Weapon Focus, +2 -Perform(chant)) -Perform(chant) +18 (+15 ranks, +3 CoP) -Ride +7 (+1 rank, +6 Dex) -Spot -1 (-1 Wis) -Swim +5 (+4 ranks, +1 Str) -Tumble +23 (+15 ranks, +6 Dex, +2 Jump) Crimson Coat of Ilpharzz (28,300) +1 keen frost scimitar (18,315) +1 keen shock scimitar (18,315) Gloves of Dexterity +4 (16,000) Circlet of Persuasion (4500) Weapon Collection (1 of everything in PHB) (1991gp, 6sp) Light Horse (75) Riding Saddle (10) Saddle bags (5) Traveler's Outfit (1) Noble's Outfit (75) 397 gp, 54 sp Class, Feats, Ability Increases 1 - Fighter, Combat Expertise, Dodge, Weapon Focus(scimitar) 2 - Fighter, Mobility 3 - Fighter, Weapon Finesse 4 - Fighter, Two-Weapon Fighting, +1 Dex 5 - Fighter 6 - Dervish, Improved Two-Weapon Fighting 7 - Dervish 8 - Dervish, +1 Dex 9 - Dervish, Versatile Performer 10 - Dervish 11 - Tempest 12 - Tempest, Improved Init, +1 Dex Steel takes advantage of the rules listed in Complete Warrior for gladiatorial combat. He makes a weapon skill demonstration before the match while chanting. (Perform(weapon drill) and Perform(chant)). Based on the DCs in CW he should almost always get a +2 morale bonus on attack and damage rolls. He will also try to use these rules to worsen the audience reaction to his opponent, especially by using Intimidate and Tumble. Dodge is always used, Combat Expertise is used when needed. Because many gladitor matches are fought without magic or armor Steel's unenhanced stats are given here. AC - 17 (+4 Dex, +2 AC Bonus, +1 Tempest Defense) Attacks: dual wield masterwork scimitars (+16/+16/+11/+11/+6, 1d6+1, 18-20/x2) Steel is built under the assumption that magic and magic items will be very limited in the arena. The specific rules he is built for are: 1) no ranged or area effect magic (to protect spectators and enhance bloodyness) 2) magic melee weapons allowed 3) 1 magic defense allowed (armor, ring, vest, etc) 4) 2 other magic items, only 1 of which can be stat enhancing. 5) No potions, pre-fight buff spells, etc. These rules may not be for everyone, but they create an arena where the spectators are most happy. Battles in this arena are expected to last a while, be very bloody, and not get too close to the spectators. Complete Warrior - Dervish PrC, Perform(weapon drill) skill Complete Adventurer - Tempest PrC, Versatile Performer feat Complete Arcane - Crimson Coat of Ilpharzz armor Kor Schtiel is a blond haired, blue eyed, good-looking man. He is 6'1" and 165 lbs. He has many scars, but none on the face. He is tanned and muscled as one would expect from a gladiator of eight and a half years. Kor, better known by his arena nickname of Steel, is a rare person. Not only is he a successful gladiator slave, he is also a gladiator that hates the arena and the killing. He was once a happy man, but not for 10 years. Kor's family died from an epidemic in a land across the sea called Verelen. His father was a fisherman but Kor became a soldier in the Verelen army. Despite the valiant efforts of the army the remnants of Verelen were taken over by the neighboring countries. His country in ruins and his family dead Kor left to look for a new life. A wandering trader told him of a man hiring soldiers and fighters to work for him in another land. By the time he found this man, Darneer Goldhand, Kor was broke and starving. The work and the contract were described in vague terms, but sounded like a caravan guard job. Kor took the job on his twentieth birthday. It wasn't until they were on the ship to Darneer's place that they found out they'd signed contracts of indentured servitude for 10 years, and that most of them would be going to the gladiator arenas. The contracts were legally binding in Darneer's homeland and specified that the signer was effectively a slave for 10 years to pay Darneer back for 'sponsoring' them and paying their passage on the ship. After seeing the punishment of those that tried to escape Kor decided his best bet was to serve and try to buy out his contract early. Unfortunately, Darneer is not willing to let anyone buy out their contract while he can still make money on them. Steel has about a year and a half until the end of his contract. If he can survive that long he would like to move far away and try to live a peaceful life, but he realizes he will probably have to use his fighting skills somehow to make a new life. He hates slavery and indentured servitude, but there isn't much he can do about it on a large scale. He has been known to buy slaves and free them and also intimidate bad masters when he can. He is legally prohibited from owning any slaves himself being effectively a slave himself. This means buying them only to free them is not strictly legal, but nobody seems to want to make it an issue with such a famous and successful gladiator. Steel has recently shifted his fighting style slightly focusing more of personal survival rather than flashy. (Taking the Tempest class instead of continuing Dervish) This is because he can see the end of his term getting closer and is thinking that he might survive to the end after all. There is additional help for him surviving in that at this level of gladiatorial combat it is hard to set up worthwhile matches. After all, few gladiator survive to Steel's level and beating up on large groups of less capable opponents is only interesting to the crowds for so long. Steel has become one of the premier gladiators of the area over the years. He fights with flair and is known for his reckless abandon. Because his family and homeland are gone, and his life is controlled by another Steel felt that he had nothing to live for. So he often took chances in his fights that others would have considered suicidal, but he was able to pull them off. His recklessness has faded over the years as he has come to believe he may actually live out his service and have a life beyond it. Steel is also a crowd favorite because he has worked hard to become so. He takes full advantage of the pre-match opportunity to show off for the crowd. His capability of 'wowing the crowd took a great leap forward when he found a way to use his dervish dancing style as a demonstration mixing his blades, footwork, and even chants. (Versatile Performer feat adding Perform(dance) to Perform(weapon drill) and Perform(vocal)). He is also very good at intimidating his opponents within the arena. Steel's choice or armor and weapons matches his choice of fighting style: effective and flashy. When he is in full swing in the arena, Steel is a spinning, dancing figure wreathed in flames swinging two streaks of white ice and crackling blue electricity. Steel has recently become interested in Angelica, a farmgirl working as a waitress in one of his favorite taverns. This new interest in life may have curbed some of his risk taking, but his skill and flair in the arena have not dimmed at all. Smash - Dwarf Fighter 7, another of Darneer's gladiator slaves, specializes in the warhammer Slash - Half-orc Barbarian 5, a relatively new addition to Darneer's stable of gladiators, uses the orc double-ax Spike - Human Fighter 6, a gladiator from a different stable, specializes in the net and trident. Darlith - dwarven owner and namesake of the "One-eyed Dwarf", Kor's favorite tavern. Angelica - Kor's girlfriend, waitress at the "One-eyed Dwarf" Chastain - a minor noble of the city, he is a fan of Kor as a gladiator Darneer Goldhand - the unscrupulous human owner of the Goldhand Gladiators Gareth "Scarface" Garrison - brutal and mean 'trainer' of Darneer's gladiators. Despite his brutality he is very effective at teaching new 'recruits' how to fight in the arena. Chains - Half-orc Fighter 9, a gladiator in Darneer's stable that specializes in the spiked chain. Dislikes Kor because he is better known and liked. Georlan - a minor noble who has lost money betting against Kor in the arena. No active dislike for Kor, but no friendship either. Basically, Georlan is a proud, arrogant, jerk. |
| Kit_the_Odd10-10-06, 12:15 AM | Oh man, enshrined on the top of page two. I hope people like it. |
| Kit_the_Odd10-10-06, 06:16 PM | :bump: - to avoid feeling like I killed it :D |
| Haruspex10-10-06, 06:22 PM | :) All the other entries will probably come on the 19th of October, 23:59. |
| psionichamster10-10-06, 07:17 PM | nah, i've got my character mostly planned out...just gotta get him all stat-blocked out and have the bkgd written up. he's a scrapper, he is! namaste' the hamster |
| Heros_Backpack10-10-06, 08:20 PM | Slice (aka Purainia Tlathan) “Here’s a kiss - put it where it hurts!” CN Human Female Rogue 2/ Bard 3/ Fighter 4/ Duelist 3 Deity: Olidammura Languages Known: Common, Elven, Gnome Speed: 40 (30 + 10 Boots of S&S) Age: 19 Height: 5’ 3” Weight: 105 lb Base Abilities (28 pt array - 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10) STR 12 DEX 15 CON 13 INT 14 WIS 10 CHA 11 Current Abilities [mod] STR 12 [+1] DEX 17 [+3] (+2 lvl) CON 13 [+1] INT 14 [+2] WIS 10 [+0] CHA 12 [+1] (+1 lvl) HP 70 AC 24 (29/30/33) (10 +3 Dex + 2 Canny Defence + 3 Nat Arm + 2 Deflection + 1 Insight + 3 Bracers of Armor (+5 Combat Expertise/ +1 Dodge/ + 4 Mobility)) ( +2 Enhanced Mobility when moving away) Initiative +9 (+3 Dex + 4 Imp Init + 2 Imp Reactions) BAB +10 (+1 Rogue, +2 Bard, +4 Fighter, +3 Duelist) Fort +8, Ref +13, Will +5 Primary Attack: +2 Keen Rapier - Att Bon +13, Dam 1d6 + 3, Crit 15-20 (x2) Off-hand Attack: +1 Shortsword - Att Bon +12, Dam 1d6 + 1, Crit 19-20 (x2) Note: Held in Glove of Storing. Skills (unless otherwise noted totals are ranks + mod only) Balance +13 (8 ranks, +3 Dex, +2 synergy) Bluff +9 Climb +8 Concentration +5 Diplomacy +5 (2 ranks, + 1 Cha, +2 synergy) Disable Device +6 (2 ranks, +2 Int, +2 synergy) Disguise +6 (+8) (5 ranks, +1 Cha (+2 synergy to act in character)) Escape Artist +13 Gather Information +4 Handle Animal + 2 Hide +9 Intimidate +7 (4 ranks, +1 Cha, +2 synergy) Jump +13 (8 ranks, +1 Str, +2 Feat, +2 synergy) Knowledge (local) +5 Listen +1 Open Lock +8 (3 ranks, +3 Dex, +2 circ - tools) Perform (dance) +8 Perform (Sing) +8 Ride +4 Sense Motive +2 Sleight of Hand +5 (+3 Dex, +2 synergy) Spellcraft +4 Spot +1 Swim +2 Tumble +18 (11 ranks, +3 Dex, +2 Feat, +2 synergy) Use Magic Device +5 Use Rope +9 Feats Acrobatic Combat Expertise Combat Reflexes Dodge Improved Disarm Improved Initiative Mobility Two Weapon Fighting Weapon Finesse Special Abilities Bardic Knowledge Bardic Music Canny Defence Countersong Enhanced Mobility Evasion Fascinate Improved Reactions (+2) Inspire Competance Inspire Courage +1 Sneak Attack +1d6 Trapfinding Spells Known 0th: (3/day) Daze, Flare, Mage Hand, Prestigitation, Read Magic, Resistance 1st: (2/day) Cure Light Wounds, Disguise Self, Expeditious Retreat Equipment +2 Keen Rapier (18,320) +1 Shortsword (2,310) Ring of Mind Shielding (8,000) Ring of Protection +2 (8,000) Boots of Striding and Springing (5,500) Amulet of Natural Armor +3 (18,000) Glove of Storing (10,000) Dusty Rose Ioun Stone (+1 AC - insight) (5,000) Bracers of Armor +3 (9,000) Type 1 Bag of Holding (2,500) 2 Potions Cure Medium Wounds (600) 2 x Universal Solvent (100) Masterwork Thieves Tools (100) 2 x Antitoxin (100) 2 x Tanglefoot bag (100) 1 Alchemist’s Fire (20) Courtier’s Outfit & Jewelry (80) Entertainer’s Outfit (3) Spell Component Pouch (5) Cash (252) TOTAL MONEY 88,000gp Background Purainia was born to a family of wealthy merchants determined to rise even higher up the social ladder - and they were determined that her marriage was the key to success. As soon as she reached her teens, they began pushing her to court the younger noble sons at the local court. She hated it. When she accidentally discovered that one of the young men was more interested in stealing the family jewellry than in her for herself, she made a bargain with him. She would tell him where to look, if in return he would teach her how to get in and out of locked rooms. He obliged. So did she - to the letter. The unmentioned trap caught him and he was, in turn, caught by the guards. Purainia, meanwhile, put his lessons to use escaping from the house in her brother’s outgrown clothes and finding fights to take out her frustration in. When someone suggested that she was good enough at fighting to be paid by the arena, she was exultant and knowing that her family would never approve added all the more spice to her decision. Yet knowing that many people in her own class went frequently to watch the combats, she carefully made a second persona to use in the arena - Slice. Since then she has managed to lead a double life, but her struggle to keep them separate grows harder every year, and every year there is more pressure to marry before all the good men are gone. ‘Slice’ fights with a scarf over her nose and mouth, which hides most of her face - and most of her freckles - and a hood snugged over her head. Her plain white Entertainer’s outfit is slashed to reveal streaks of bright red and yellow whenever she moves - and she always seems to be constantly on the move. Her fighting style is fast and flamboyant as she tumbles over, under, or around her opponent or flings his weapon across the arena and her assumed personality is both impudent and a flaunter of skills (but not a flirt - she gets enough of that at home). Her many fans love the air of mystery around her and their curiousity adds to her struggle for secrecy. Slice makes heavy use of her Glove of Storing. One of her favourite tactics is to Store her shortsword, disarm her opponent with her now empty hand and drop the acquired weapon in the square behind her, guaranteeing herself 1-2 AoOs (Combat Reflexes allow extras). Bringing her shortsword back as a free action just gives her that extra attack next round giving her a possibility of 5 attacks (2 from BAB, 1 from 2nd weapon, 2 AoO).. She also Stores her shortsword when she wants to cast a somatic spell. As Purainia, she wears sober brown, black or dark blue and allows her mahogany curls to tumble down her back. She also tries to act in a suitably sensible fashion, but occasionally slips up. In recent years, having gained her adult height and bluk (what there is of it) she has begun to take the fighting itself much more seriously, taking lessons (as Slice) from anyone willing and honing her stamina and dexterity in the court circles with vigorous dancing. Level x Level Breakdown Notes: cc = cross class skill, Duelist Prc info - DMG p185 Level 1 - Rogue 1 Skill points 44 ((8 +2 Int)x4 +4 (human)) Ranks bought: Balance 4, Bluff 4, Climb 4, Disable Device 2, Disguise 4, Escape Artist 4, Hide 4, Jump 4, Open Lock 2, Perform (sing) 4, Tumble 4, Use Rope 4 Abilities: Sneak Attack +1d6, trapfinding Feats: Dodge, Improved Initiative Level 2 - Rogue 2 Skill points 11 (8 + 2 Int + 1 Human) Ranks bought: Disguise 1, Escape Artist 1, Diplomacy 2, Gather Information 2, Knowledge (local) 1, Use Magic Device 2, Use rope 1, Tumble 1 Abilities: Evasion Level 3 - Rogue 2/ Bard 1 Skill points 9 (6 + 2 + 1) Ranks bought: Balance 1, Climb 1, Hide 1, Perform (sing) 2, Spellcraft 2, Concentration 2 Abilities: Bardic music, Bardic knowledge, Countersong, Fascinate, Inspire courage +1 Feat: Combat Expertise Spells gained: 0 - Daze, Flare, Mage Hand, Read Magic Level 4 - Rogue 2/ Bard 2 Ability - +1 Cha Skill points 9 (6 + 2 +1) Ranks bought: Bluff 1, Jump 1, Hide 1, Knowledge (local) 2, Perform (dance) 2, Tumble 1, Use Magic Device 1 Spells gained: 0 - Resistance, 1st - Cure Light Wounds, Disguise Self Level 5 - Rogue 2/ Bard 2/ Fighter 1 Skill points 5 (2 + 2 + 1) Ranks bought: Climb 1, Jump 1, Intimidate 1, Perform (dance) 1cc Feat: Weapon Finesse Level 6 - Rogue 2/ Bard 2/ Fighter 2 Skill poimts 5 (2 + 2 + 1) Ranks bought: Open Lock 1cc, Ride 1, Use Rope 1cc Feats: Acrobatic, Mobility Level 7 - Rogue 2/ Bard 2/ Fighter 3 Skill points 5 (2 + 2 + 1) Ranks bought: Climb 1, Jump 1, Swim 1, Tumble 1cc Level 8 - Rogue 2/ Bard 3/ Fighter 3 Ability - +1 Dex Skill points 9 (6 + 2 + 1) Ranks bought: Balance 1, Concentration 2, Gather Information 1, Perform (dance) 3, Tumble 1, Use Magic Device 1 Abilities: Inspire competance Spells gained: 0 - Prestigitation, 1st - Expeditious Retreat Level 9 - Rogue 2/ Bard 3/ Fighter 4 Skill points 5 (2 + 2 + 1) Ranks bought: Escape Artist 1cc, Handle Animal 1, Intimidate 2, Feats: Combat Reflexes, Improved Disarm Level 10 - Rogue 2/ Bard 3/ Fighter 4/ Duelist 1 Skill points 7 (4 + 2 + 1) Ranks bought: Balance 1, Bluff 2, Escape Artist 1, Perform (dance) 1, Perform (sing) 1, Tumble 1 Abilities: Canny Defence Level 11 - Rogue 2/ Bard 3/ Fighter 4/ Duelist 2 Skill points 7 (4 + 2 + 1) Ranks bought: Escape Artist 2, Intimidate 1cc, Tumble 2, Listen 1 Abilities: Improved Reaction +2 Level 12 - Rogue 2/ Bard 3/ Fighter 4/ Duelist 3 Ability - +1 Dex Skill points 7 (4 + 2 +1) Ranks bought: Balance 1, Bluff 1, Escape Artist 1, Jump 1, Sense Motive 2, Spot 1 Abilities: Enhanced Mobility Feat: Two Weapon Fighting |
| Zherog10-11-06, 11:13 AM | The entry list should be updated with all current entries. |
| Zherog10-11-06, 08:45 PM | Can I make another one? Just to give you an answer here. Go for it. :) |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-12-06, 08:02 PM | Are we already seeing the drying up of the stream of contestants? I hope not. Brave Warriors, Assemble! Maybe this will help! :bump: |
| spandia10-12-06, 09:50 PM | "No... I need... More... Rage..."[lose, or cast meld into stone from scroll] That last quote was the inspiration for this character... cookie for anyone who guesses who said it Battle quotes are fun! You mean the guy in KHII when I played that I thought of WoW though XD |
| Far_Traveler10-13-06, 10:36 AM | >You mean the guy in KHII when I played that I thought of WoW though XD Bingo! Xenmas, Leader of Organization XIII and Nobody of Xeanhort! :cookie: Don't play WoW... >Go for it I'd need inspiration... or listing of divine feats to go with Longinus... I can't make a cleric... I'd just be remaking Zera... what to do... |
| Zherog10-13-06, 11:18 AM | Don't play WoW... I disagree. WoW is awesome! :D Of course, as I've started writing books for the d20 RPG put out by Sword and Sorcery, I'm likely biased. :D or listing of divine feats to go with Longinus... It's not open content, so I can't list the material here. I can't make a cleric... I'd just be remaking Zera... what to do... Well, you have a week and a few hours to figure it out. :) |
| FRRC10-13-06, 12:52 PM | Make a non-violent character that wins by making the opponent concede :) |
| bhu10-13-06, 10:51 PM | I'm trying to get my entry done. I'm running into some pesky medical problems tho. SHould have it up in time I hope.. |
| Mercurius10-14-06, 12:58 AM | I'm planning on entering. I'm just in the process of moving right now. Hopefully, I'll get the opportunity after I move on Monday... |
| Grey_Herald10-14-06, 02:19 AM | I plan on entering as soon as I get my gladiator stat blocked as well... and what is the ruling on custom-made magic items as detailed at the very back of the DMG? (page 284, I beleive) It would be very helpful to know :D |
| TheChilliGod10-14-06, 03:37 AM | I plan on entering as soon as I get my gladiator stat blocked as well... and what is the ruling on custom-made magic items as detailed at the very back of the DMG? (page 284, I beleive) It would be very helpful to know :DFinally, something for me to latch onto! (Every single bump opportunity was taken when I was sleeping, and everyone else answers questions before me. *Sigh*) Yar! You are free to make your own custom-made magic items; as mentioned in Rule #6, we do allow Item Creation rules. Nothing else to say regarding actual rules. A hint, though - Just make sure that your created items aren't too complex, as we might be left raking our brains trying to get around some strange custom magic item that might be... shall we say, controversially priced. ===== Now, I just want to publicly thank everyone during the half-time mark for such a hasty load of entries, I'm pretty sure us judges feel happy that everything is going a lot more smoother than the last HC, and we already have more entries in this first week than we did during the whole of the last HC. (Probably because I coordinated, then...) And I hope to see many more entries throughout the more pressured second week. It seems that I might be looking at at least 4 more, which makes me :D . Go team! |
| jennibert10-14-06, 10:22 AM | Yay for lots of entries! Even if it means I'll be spending all of next weekend pouring through books....that I may or may not have unpacked yet.... Thanks for entering guys, and go ahead and keep them coming! |
| Zherog10-14-06, 11:04 AM | You are free to make your own custom-made magic items; as mentioned in Rule #6, we do allow Item Creation rules. Nothing else to say regarding actual rules. A hint, though - Just make sure that your created items aren't too complex, as we might be left raking our brains trying to get around some strange custom magic item that might be... shall we say, controversially priced. Another hint: Pay close attention to rule 6. If you make your own magic items, following rule 6 will have a huge impact on your score. |
| bhu10-14-06, 09:15 PM | Minor question on the possibility of an awakened animal again. It states under the awaken spell that an animal keeps its stat moidifers except it rolls 3d6 for int, and adds 1d3 to its charisma. His seems incompatible with the point buy for the contest. However a cat has a Charisma of 7, maning under the spells effects its maximum Cha would be a 10. So would it be possible to use point buy as long as i dont raise the Cha higher than this? If so I have many other ideas... |
| Zherog10-14-06, 09:33 PM | Point buy all the stats normally; just be sure to apply the proper racial modifiers based on the cat, adjusting for the awakened status (+0 Int, -2 Charisma: based on an average value of 10 for Int and an average value of 8 for Cha). |
| DarthLoser10-14-06, 10:16 PM | Kubal, Bane of the West CR 12 Male Human Barbarian 2/ Fighter 8/Ranger 2 NE Medium humanoid Init+3; Senses Spot+0, Listen+0 Languages Common, Draconic AC 26, touch 20, flat-footed 23 hp 89 (12 HD) SVFort +15, Ref +8, Will +2 Speed40 ft. (8 squares) Melee +18/+18/+13/+8 (2d4+7,2d4+5/20x2, Scorpion’s Lash) Melee +20/+20/+15/+10 (2d4+2d6+9, 2d4+2d6+7/20x2, Scorpion’s Lash v Humans) Base Atk +12/+7/+2; Grp +15 Atk Options Cleave, Dodge, Elusive Target, Power Attack, Quick Draw, Rage 1/day, Track, Two-Weapon Fighting Special Actions Uncanny Dodge Combat Gear 5 Potions of Cure Moderate Light Wounds (250 gp) Abilities Str 20 (15 Base, +1 @ 8th level, +4 Belt of Giant Strength) Dex 16 (15 Base, +1 @ 4th Level) Con 14 (13 Base+1 @ 12th Level) Int 13 (12 Base) Wis 10 (10 Base) Cha 10 (8 Base+2 Cloak of Charisma) SQ- Fast Movement, Uncanny Dodge, Favored Enemy (Humanoid [Human]), Wild Empathy Feats Exotic Weapon Proficiency (Spiked Chain) Weapon Focus (Spiked Chain) Dodge Two-Weapon Fighting Mobility Combat Expertise Elusive Target Leadership Improved Trip Extend Rage Power Attack Weapon Specialization (Spiked Chain) Skills Climb+11 (9 ranks, +3 Strength, -1 Armor Check Penalty) Craft (Weaponsmithing)+16 (15 ranks, +1 Intelligence) Handle Animal+10 (10 ranks) Intimidate+14 (+15 ranks, -1 Charisma) Jump+10 (+8 Ranks, +3 Strength, -1 Armor Check Penalty) Move Silently+6 (4 ranks, +2 Dexterity, -1 Armor Check Penalty) Ride+7 (2 Ranks, +3 Dexterity, +2 Synergy [Handle Animal]) Cross Class Skill ->Perform (Weapon Drill)+6 (7 Ranks) Survival+7 (7 Ranks) Cross Class Skill ->Tumble+7 (5 ranks, +3 Dexterity, -1 Armor Check Penalty) Possessions Combat Gear Composite Shortbow (+3 Strength) (300 gp) 8 Daggers (16 gp) Scorpion’s Lash (+2 Keen Humanbane Spiked Chain) (18,325gp) +1 Shortsword (2,100 gp) Mithral Breastplate (1200 gp) Ring of Protection+3 (18,000 gp) Bracers of Armor+4 (16,000 gp) Masterwork Falchion (375 gp) Belt of Giant Strength+4 (16,000 gp) Bedroll (1 sp) Winter Blanket (5 sp) Bullseye Lamp (30 gp) Chest (2 gp) Amazing Lock (150 gp) Two Immovable Rods (10,000 gp) Traveller’s Outfit (1 gp) Cloak of Charisma+2 (4,000 gp) 1,250 Gold Pieces 4 Silver Pieces Cohort and Notable Follower Sethulet NE Human Rogue 4/Fighter 1/Assassin 3 Sethulet is cunning, ruthless and brutal. He will only listen to Kubal, and considers everyone else below him. Funar LE Dwarf Rogue 1 Funar was sick of the Dwarves anyway. He eagerly shed them to join the advancing army of Kubal and enjoyed taking the Mithral Armor from the King’s Vaults. “My name is Kubal. Perhaps you know me? No? What a shame. You westerners have no sense of history. Perhaps you know me as Warlord Nehkbanu, Bane of the West. So you do know me and still, even after eight years as a lowly warrior, my name still inspires fear. Stuck in this damn country, I wanted someone to hear my story before I die, which I feel could happen soon. I was born to Ankhun, Chieftain of the Tarut clan under the sign of the Scorpion. Unfortunately for my father, my mother was a Kumarian noble that he had… shall we say taken advantage of. As soon as I was born, he sent me to live with his brother, Osirabiti, his second-in-command. Eventually, the hammer dropped and my father was killed. He rode out to die in battle like a true Tarut, not some weak, skulking westerner. My uncle trained me to follow him as chief; nobody lives forever. He trained me use of the weapon of my birth, the Scorpion’s Lash: A wicked chain with a taste for human flesh. Through the years, I rode across the desert with the rest of my clan, learning more about desert survival. When I was twenty-three, my uncle died of a mysterious disease and I assumed control of the clan. The next year, the kind of Kumaria installed a new law, which made it more difficult to raid traders. So, lacking a major source of food, we were forced to raid border communities, which brought down the vengeance of the King. They pushed us farther and farther east until we were onto the Khulet land. They threatened us with war as well. We were not strong enough to fight both the Khulet and the Kumarians. And you know what they say… if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. We promised the Khulet a share of the land and treasure if they aided us in the war against Kumaria. They greedily accepted, hoping to expand their lands. My army of Tarut rode out to meet the Kumarian army while the Khulet waited in the hilly dunes of the desert. When the Kumarians engaged us, the Khulet flanked them, and decimated their forces. Trapped between our two armies, no Kumarians survived. Several clans heard of our defeat of the formerly powerful Kumarian army and sought to help us finish off the crippled nation. The Sobbeb, Tarhet and Rarzim clans all joined our cause, hoping for a share of the plunder. With our large army we easily crushed the Kumarian capital, Anuaua. We held a meeting in the great hall after the final battle. The other leaders were not satisfied with the land garnered from Kumaria. Swept up by my own greed, I eagerly sponsored a further push to the west. In hindsight, I realize how ill advised that push was. It was determined that no one leader would command the overall army, it would be split up between everyone. We set out the next month, five days before my twenty-sixth birthday. Our first encounter was the kobold raiders in the eastern fringes of the desert where the Sobuet met the Kateos plains. After a week, there were no more Kobold for miles. We pushed toward the Dwarven stronghold of Voinar. We caught them totally by surprise, sending diplomats in and sweeping through the newly opened gates in the night. There were very few dwarves who fought back and they were quickly overwhelmed. One Dwarf, Funar offered me the Mithral Armor that was waiting for the Knight Algauris in return for his survival. He sneaked into the King’s Vaults in the chaos and stole the precious armor for me and returned it. Now I had a way to protect myself besides my skills alone. Next, we came to this land, Urana. I hate this place. We layed siege to the city of Sarpis; they were aware of our coming and had scoured the land to amass their army. We inflicted such casualties that they bestowed upon me the name Nehkbanu: Bane of the West. The other chieftains were growing worried about my strength and decided to do away with me. They ambushed me in my sleep strung me to the mountain face Imraman they could find by my own weapon, the Scorpion’s Lash and left me for dead. That was their mistake. Nobody betrays Kubal. Nobody. I escaped the death trap and climbed up the face. I had to sneak into the camp to avoid the sentries and slaughtered the chieftains the next night as they slept. Apparently, the Uranan had an informant among our ranks, because they learned of our dissent and sallied forth. I had to slip away. Their knights caught me anyway and imprisoned me. They gave me a choice: Fight for my life in their famed gladiator’s arena or live the rest of my life in prison. I chose the arena, hoping to escape in the future. Now, having fought my way up, I realize that I will never escape. I will die soon. Possibly, Warlord Nehkbanu will live on, though and I will never truly die…” |
| DarthLoser10-14-06, 11:42 PM | Oops. I forgot I took out Quick Draw. |
| Zherog10-15-06, 01:28 AM | List is updated; if you've submitted a character and I don't have you on the list, please be kind to this old man and send him a PM. :) |
| bhu10-15-06, 02:57 PM | Okay last question on the hypothetical kitty. If i take magic items with a listed weight, and I wish to reduce the weight somehow so that a cat could conceivably wear them, what do I do? I dont notice any rules in the Item Creation section in the DM's guide about weight. |
| FRRC10-15-06, 03:16 PM | If its armour, there is instructions on larger and smaller armour in the Player's Handbook. Page 123 - Armour for unusual creatures. |
| bhu10-15-06, 04:03 PM | If its armour, there is instructions on larger and smaller armour in the Player's Handbook. Page 123 - Armour for unusual creatures. Nope it'll likely be wondrous items. Belts and such. |
| Zherog10-15-06, 05:26 PM | You're going to run into lots of things about an awakened animal that will cause problems, and require you to interpret rules and possibly even extrapolate information. There's definitely rules about computing the cost for Small or Large creatures, and there's definitely rules for computing carrying capacities for four-legged creatures. I think what you're going to need to do is weight in your mind whether the creativity points you may earn for doing something so different will outweight any rules use penalties you might encounter if one of the judges believes you interpretted a rule incorrectly. I think that's pretty much what you have to decide, and then from there you need to find how you wish to interpret rules such as weight. Essentially, though, I don't particularly think it's fair for judges to provide you too much more help in finding or interpretting rules for your cat. Other judges may certainly have a different opinion on the matter, and if so they're free to offer you whatever advice they see fit. For me, though, this is an excercise in two things: 1) Your creativity in coming up with a cool character concept 2) Your ability to apply the rules-as-written to meet that concept I hope my non-answer was somewhat, vaguely helpful. :) Cheers! :pint: |
| bhu10-15-06, 11:10 PM | Was more worried about breaking a rule somehow. But you were helpful yes.. And now to work.... |
| Zherog10-16-06, 08:39 AM | I think with an awakened animal, you're likely to break a rule; or, at the very least, be forced to make a decision that one or more judges will disagree with. |
| bhu10-16-06, 09:16 AM | Hm..Wel perhaps its time to consider one of the other options then... |
| DarthLoser10-16-06, 03:24 PM | Can I make some additional stuff bold? I would be editing my entry, but not changing any game stats. |
| Zherog10-16-06, 03:54 PM | Sure, you can edit your post. But doing so will disqualify your entry. :) You can make the alterations after all the judges have done their scoring. |
| FRRC10-17-06, 05:33 AM | Sure, you can edit your post. But doing so will disqualify your entry. :) You can make the alterations after all the judges have done their scoring. Can never give a straight answer, can ya? :P ....Stealthy :bump: |
| Zherog10-18-06, 10:57 AM | I think I gave a perfectly straight answer. ;) Less than 3 days, gang. Get 'em in! |
| edwardsobel10-18-06, 12:03 PM | Here are few notes on the character that may cause confusion: 1 I used the Kingdoms of Kalamar from Kenzer Co. as the setting more info on the setting is available at Kenzerco.com. 2 The character is subrace Dejy this has no effect on game mechanics it merely is a representation of culture. 3 The character has two non standard languages that are purchased with skill points these languages are representations of his native dialect. 4 The character uses way below the allotted gold value. This character has been played as a PC and this represents that the full PC wealth by level is actually a guideline I provided the character with magic items that suited his culture and personality over combat power. See the block on magic items below. Now on to the character: Chief White Eagle son of Ten Bears of the Defohy tribe Human (Dejy) Spirit Shaman 9/ Fighter 3 “All men were made brothers. The earth is the mother of all people, and all people should have equal rights upon it. You might as well expect the rivers to run backward as that any man who was born free should be contented when penned up and denied liberty to go where he pleases.” Base Stats: Str: 12 (4 points) Dex: 12 (4 points) Con: 13 (5 points) Int: 12 (4 points) Wis: 13 (5 points) Cha: 14 (6 points) Current Stats: Str: 10 (–3 age, +1 Level 4) Dex: 10 (–3 age +1 Level 8) Con: 10 (–3 age) Int: 14 (+2 age) Wis: 16 (+2 age, +1 Level 12) Cha: 16 (+2 age) Attacks: Speed: 30ft Initiative: +0 (Dex) Base Attack Bonus: +9 (9/4)’ Grapple: +9 Shortspear +1 (Attack +11/+6, Damage 1d6+1, Crit 20/x2, Range 20’) Handaxe (Attack +9/+4, Damage 1d6, Crit 20/x3) Shortbow MW (Attack +10/+5, Damage 1d6, Crit 20/x3, Range 60’) Dagger (Attack +9/+4, Damage 1d4, Crit 20/x2, Range 10’) AC 16 (+4 Leather Armor +2, +2 Natural) HP 72 (9d8+3d10+12) Saves Fort: +11 (9 base + 0con, +2 cloak) Ref: +6 (4 base + 0dex, +2 cloak) Will: +12 (7 base +3 Wis, +2 cloak) Skills: Craft (Leatherwork): +2 (ranks) +2 (Int) = +4 Craft (Woodwork): +2 (ranks) +2 (Int) = +4 Diplomacy: +5 (ranks) +3 (Cha) = +8 Handle Animal: +14 (ranks) +3 (Cha) +2 (feat) = +19 Heal: +10 (ranks) +3 (Wis) +2 (feat) = +15 Knowledge Geography: +2 (ranks) +2 (Int) = +4 Knowledge Nature: +5 (ranks) +2 (Int) +2 (synergy) = +9 Knowledge Religion: +2 (ranks) +2 (Int) = +4 Perform (Flute): +1 (ranks) +3 (Cha) = +4 (cross class) Perform (Storytell): +1 (ranks) +3 (Cha) = +4 (cross class) Perform (Percussion): +1 (ranks) +3 Cha) = +4 (cross class) Profession (guide): +2 (ranks) +3 (Wis) = +5 Profession (Herbalist): +1 (ranks) +3 (Wis) = +4 Ride: +9(ranks) +0 (Dex) +4 (other) = +13 Sense Motive +1 (ranks) +3 (Wis) = +4 Spot: +3 (ranks) +3 (Wis) +2 (feat) = +8 Speak Language +3 (ranks) (cross class) Survival: +15 (ranks) +3 (Wis) +2 (feat) = +20 Speaks: Common, Defohy, Kakado, and Goblin Feats: 1 AlertnessB (Spirit shaman), Track, Animal AffinityB (human) 3 Improved Toughness 4 Improved Unarmed StrikeB (fighter) 5 Weapon Focus (Shortspear)B (fighter) 6 Endurance 9 Diehard 12 Self-Sufficient. (B=bonus feat) Height: 6'2" Weight: 150lbs, Age: 57 character is of the age to be in the Old category. Abilities Wild Empathy 1d20 +14 Spirit Guide (Eagle) (Grants Alertness feat) Chastise Spirits (Su) (9d6 damage to all spirits within 30’ Will DC22 for half) Detect Spirits (Sp) (at will) Blessing of the Spirits (Sp) (acts as Protection from Spirits)(works like Protection from evil but vs. spirits) Follow the Guide (Su) (Can attempt to retry a failed save vs. enchantment spells) Ghost Warrior (Su) (any weapon or armor used is considered to have Ghost touch ability) Warding the Spirits (Sp) (1/Day can make a magic circle against spirits) Spirit Form (Su) (Can become Incorporeal 1/day, lasts for 1 min) Spirits are considered to be: Incorporeal Undead, fey, elementals, Spirit Subtype, Any creature in astral form or with Astral bodies, All Spirit Folk. Spirit Shaman spells (uses the Druid list) save DC 13 + spell level Retrieve per day: Level 0: 3 Level 1: 3 Level 2: 3 Level 3: 2 Level 4: 1 Level 5: 1 Cast per day: Level 0: 6 Level 1: 7 Level 2: 7 Level 3: 7 Level 4: 4 Level 5: 2 Sacred bundle (Amulet Natural Armor +2) (8,000 gp) Shortspear +1 (2301 gp) Dagger (2 gp) Masterwork Shortbow (330 gp) Leather Armor +2 (4160 gp) Hand Axe (6 gp) Buffalo skin cloak blessed by the spirits (Cloak of resistance +2) (4000 gp) Backpack (2 gp) cap 100 lb --Bedroll (0.1gp) --Torch x2 (.02 gp) --Flint/Steel (1 gp) --Healer Kit (50 gp) (10 uses) --Trail rations 5 days (2.5 gp) --Pipe (1 gp) --Blanket (0.5 gp) --Clay Mug (.02 gp) --Artisan’s tools (5 gp) --Peasants Outfit (.1 gp) Belt Pouch (1 gp) cap 2 lb --Tobacco (0.25 gp) --Flute (5 gp) Belt Pouch (1 gp) cap 2 lb --Tea leaves (0.2 gp) --Coins (14gp 3sp 1cp) Waterskin (1 gp) Pouch spell component (5 gp) Feather tokens: -- Bird (x5) (1500 gp) -- Tree (x3) (1200 gp) -- Whip (x5) (2500 gp) Lesser strand of Prayer beads (blessing and healing bead) (9,600 gp) Antitoxins x4 (200 gp) Potion Neutralize Poison x2 (1500 gp) Potion Delay Poison x5 (1500 gp) Potion Endure Elements x6 (300 gp) Smokesticks x5 (100 gp) Light Horse x2 (150 gp) Saddlebags x2 (8 gp) Total value 37,441 gp To know who White Eagle is, is to know the plight of the Defohy people of the Ek’Gakel Plains. The Defohy have a strong belief in dreams and visions. Young boys and girls went alone to remote places hoping to receive knowledge of a personal guardian spirit. This personal WYAKIN would warn them of danger and give them special powers. In all phases of daily life, the Defohy thought of the spirits of forces and objects around them as supernatural WYAKIN. White Eagle was born a PohTikaWah, which is a word in his personal language that essentially means A SpiritWalker, or one that can easily walk through the veil as it is called between the physical and Spiritual realms. He is from the Great Plains of Ek’Gakel. His people are at war with the Kalamarian settlers that have migrated to the region from the south. (The details of this war are detailed in another document I can send it to any who request it). White Eagle was born long before the Gakite and Dejy people fought over land rights in the Gakite calendar year 538 I.R. Born to the name Chekto-Na-Tal. How he became known today as White Eagle is told in the story of his people in the terrible years 562-563 I.R. Gakite is the term White Eagle uses to describe the settlers into his homeland this is a general term that describes most every human that is not of Dejy descent. In this region of the world, slavery is considered legal as long as slaves are acquired legally and have appropriate documentation. Slaves are typically acquired through conquest in a legal war or, as is mostly the case, a penalty for crimes committed. Slave traders are merchants and usually treat many of the slaves they acquire fairly as cruel treatment of slaves is also a crime and a slave trader may loose his legal right to deal in slave trade. White Eagle is one of those slaves taken as a prisoner in the spoils of war. The Gakite army sold White Eagle to Duke Lastofin Matrickis (Duke of the lands of Nighson, Noble of the lake District, Duke of the Principality of Pekal) in the city of Bet Rogala, which sits on the eastern shore of lake Eb’Sobet. White Eagle has never seen the great cities of the Gakite people but has heard stories from settlers long before the war came to his people. The concept of such places was so foreign that he did not believe the Gakite settlers. But now the stories proved to be true. How can so many people live in such a small place? There are no fields to hunt and forage berries, the horses are clad in metal and are tied with no free land to graze. White Eagle saw the bonds that are upon him and can now understand that to Gakite all life is a commodity to be traded. Off the coast of Lake Eb’Sobet not more than a 3 or 4-hour boat ride sits a small rocky island that houses but one building, a Great gambling hall. Duke Lastofin had accrued large amounts of debts to the owners of this hall and the purchase of several of the Defohy warriors brought into Pekal just might be the ticket he needed to settle his debts. Pitting them in battle in the sub-basement in the fighting pit. Duke Lastofin hoped that the battle-hardened warriors of Ek’Gakel would win him the needed coin. This was nearly not so as the first 3 warriors that entered the pit were massacred without so much as lifting a finger in defense the warriors were paralyzed with fear at the situation they were hurled into. White Eagle found the courage he needed at the sound of an eagle’s screech, his spirit had manifested before him and gave him the courage to face his enemy. White eagle won the day, but barely. For the next few years White Eagle fought for Duke Lastofin in the fighting pits though he never fought another human again, only animals bred for combat. And each time White Eagle defeated it without killing the creature. Until the day that White Eagle was getting to old to fight in the pits and was sold once again. This time White Eagle was sold to a slave trader gathering slaves under a contract for another kingdom, the Kingdom of Norga Krangel, The Hobgoblin nation. The slaver went by the name Garten, he gathered slaves from all over the principality. On his journey westward toward Norga Krangel White Eagle met a Dejy woman from another land far to the Southwest, Her name was Alia Ruya Gawahir. She was from the Elos Desert many days to the south west of the Principality of Pekal. White Eagle listened to her plight and the trials she had to endure for many years in captivity. She was captured in a raid by the Hobgoblins of Norga Krangel but managed to escape. It seemed that she was to return to her original captors. Upon reaching the Hobgoblin nation the Tribe war chief, Kinshag Grazlak, came to inspect the new arrivals. White Eagle was once again thrust into the pits to be a training dummy for new Hobgoblin warriors. The Hobgoblin’s protected their investment and would never allow the pit battles to result in death. White Eagle fought back but was too weak to put up much of a physical fight. Until the fateful day that his spirit manifested for a third time in his life, an Eagle perched along the stone wall surrounding the pit gave White Eagle the Vision he needed and he once again commanded the spirit magic he once had. Among the Hobgoblin warriors the tribe’s shaman, Azzak Grond, also sensed the spirit of the eagle nearby. Azzak noticed the power White Eagle commanded of the spirits and he began to fear for his tribe. Azzak pleaded with Kinshag that keeping White Eagle will anger the spirits and bring bad luck to the tribe but Kinshag would not let him free. Instead White Eagle was given over to Azzak and was taught the language of the Hobgoblin’s and was reunited with Alia. White Eagle lived among the Hobgoblins for several years protected by Azzak but his protection would not last. Azzak passed into the spirit world. Kinshag was there to retake possession of his property, But White Eagle now commanded more spiritual power and was able to escape with Alia. White Eagle Journeyed back into the lands of Pekal with his now wife Alia whom he had given a new spirit name, Sleeping Wolf. White Eagle remains on the run from Kinshag who seeks to reclaim what is rightfully his. White Eagle and Sleeping Wolf joined together and produced a daughter, Doe. The three journey among the lands of Pekal seeking the remaining members of the Defohy tribe and wish to return to the plains of Ek’Gakel. Note: This is a summary of White eagle’s life so far. I am finalizing a much more detailed story that is available upon request. Magic items listed on the character sheet are items infused with spiritual energy this is merely flavor text and follows the standard magic items detailed in the DMG. The items represent items gained during adventure and role play not things purchased at “Ye Olde magic Shop” the equipment list is way below the allotted gold since White Eagle is a simple man he only keeps what he feels he needs and does not acquire vast amounts of wealth. White Eagle is a tall human with a reddish tanned skin tone. He is 57 years old and the lines of his face show the hardships he faced in his tortured past. He wears leather clothing and has little use for forged metal but does understand its value. He seems savage and uncivilized on the exterior but be is knowledgeable of the ways of people and various races. White Eagle’s wife is only 4 years junior and is just as weathered in appearance. Their Daughter, Doe, is a bard (storyteller) and shares the knowledge of her story and the stories of her father’s people as well as her mothers, to any that will listen. Seldom is a story told that does not teach a meaning. Doe is a member of a guild called the “Brotherhood of the Broken Chain” seeking to end the slavery laws of the kingdoms. Shortspear +1 This Shortspear could be considered crude by a more modern standard as it has a finely carved stone tip tied to the end of the shaft rather than a forged metal point fitted on. It is adorned with leather wrappings and beads and feathers of the eagle. These feathers allow the spear to have a spiritual connection granting it the +1 magic. It functions as +1 for any that wield it. Sacred Bundle: This necklace is a leather strap attached to a tiny pouch sealed shut. Inside are sacred spiritual herbs that grant the wearer +2 Natural Armor bonus. Bear skin Cloak: This cloak is made from the hide of a great brown bear The spirit of White Eagle’s father (Chief Ten Bears) surrounds the cloak granting the wearer a +2 resistance bonus to all saves. Feather Tokens: Each of these Eagle feathers are a gift for bravery from the Eagle spirit and function as Feather tokens in the DMG. Potions: these are medicinal rubs, ointments, and drinks made of natural plants and infused with the spiritual energy of the land to provider the listed effect. Prayer Beads: A beaded necklace that is identical to the magic item in the DMG of the same name. http://www.axel-jacob.de/white_eagle_ponca.jpg |
| Zherog10-18-06, 12:36 PM | The "Grand List of Awesomeness" (aka the list of entries) at the beginning of the thread has been updated. |
| TheChilliGod10-19-06, 01:33 AM | *Lunge!* :bump: Not too long left; I wonder when will all the last-minute posters get around... |
| Zherog10-19-06, 10:00 AM | I wonder when will all the last-minute posters get around... At the last minute, of course. ;) |
| bhu10-19-06, 06:43 PM | I hate to say this after asking so many questions but I'm going to have to bow out. Real life problems have interfered and there is no way possible for me to finish in time. Should've had it done today but I wasnt expecting an emergency room trip yesterday..... |
| Zherog10-20-06, 10:12 AM | Just under 10 hours to get those last minute entries posted! Should've had it done today but I wasnt expecting an emergency room trip yesterday..... :gah: I hope everything's OK... |
| Zherog10-20-06, 05:44 PM | Just a bit over two hours left... |
| Zherog10-20-06, 08:39 PM | Just to be official, the contest is officially closed for entries. |
| bhu10-20-06, 09:43 PM | Just under 10 hours to get those last minute entries posted! :gah: I hope everything's OK... Yeah I'm good. Doctors gave me wrong amount of meds and nearly caused a stroke when my blood pressure dropped like a stone. I hate hospitals. |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-21-06, 01:21 AM | Sorry to hear about your trouble Bhu. I know what it's like to have pathetic doctors. Back in August, I went to the hospital for a Kidney Stone, and they gave me pain medication... ...after I passed the Kidney Stone. And that's not even the worst story I know about my hospital. So, anyways, glad to hear that you're in good health again. Maybe I shall get to judge your next entry! Good luck and good health! May the Force be with You! |
| bhu10-21-06, 05:22 PM | Thanks. Will be keeping an eye out for contest #4! |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-25-06, 12:36 AM | For those of you who are curious, judging has been tough, long winded, and prone to interruption by this horrible thing called real life. Fortunately, we should have final scores ready in the next couple of days. Part of this competition is a public forum on the art of character creation, which means that I (and maybe some of the other judges, as they see fit) will be posting comments about each character as a means to help others learn the ins and outs of character generation. Please note, I will not release any comments until the official scores have been posted on this forum. I do ask that you remember that any comments that I, or any other judge, make concerning your character should be viewed as constructive criticism. Every character had strengths and weaknesses, but as judges, it is our responsibility to dig for the weaknesses. If it seems that we mention a lot of mistakes, it is because that's what we had to look for to judge well. In case we forget to say it, each and every character was worth reading, and it was a pleasure to judge this competition. Thank you for taking your time to generate interesting PCs for us to dig through. I understand that some people may be uncomfortable with public posting of comments in regards to their characters. I plan on posting my comments about 24 hours after the winner is declared. If you are not comfortable with my comments on your character being made public, PM before that time, and I will send them to you by private message. If I don't recieve a private message before that time, I shall assume that the comments are public material. Thanks again for all entries! May the Force be with You! Oh yeah, and the real reason for this post: :bump: Now I don't have to hunt this forum down a few days from now! |
| Zherog10-25-06, 12:48 AM | Also, feel free to comment on one another's characters. Tell each other what you liked about their characters, what they might consider doing different, how cool their backstories were, and so on. As Jason said, one of the goals is to help folks get better at building fun characters. I'm expecting to be able to post scores Thursday evening. Cheers! :pint: |
| DarthLoser10-26-06, 08:54 PM | Any idea on when we're getting our results? |
| Zherog10-26-06, 08:58 PM | Tonight. :D I'm the one holding things up. I meant to get my scoring done over the weekend, but stuff came up. I'm working on one now, and have one more to go after that. |
| Zherog10-26-06, 11:53 PM | yay for getting scores done. I'll post my comments tomorrow some time, as I still want to go back through them and check for typos (and I'm sure I'll miss some anyway). But anyway... Winning a BRONZE MEDAL, with an average score of 26.5: Chief White Eagle, by edwardsobel Winning a SILVER MEDAL, with an average score of 27.075: Kor "Steel" Schtiel, by Kit_the_Odd And, winning a GOLD MEDAL, with an average score of 27.375: Slice aka Purainia Tlathan, by Heros_Backpack Congrats to the winners! HB, you're eligible to judge the next event. I'll be coordinating that one as well, so you can expect a PM from me in the next day or so to gauge your interest. It's absolutely not required, so if you're not comfortable or not interested, no sweat. And here's all the scores, in order: Slice aka Purainia Tlathan, by Heros_Backpack: 27.375 Kor "Steel" Schtiel, by Kit_the_Odd: 27.075 Chief White Eagle, by edwardsobel: 26.5 Varshak "The Swords", by Endarrion: 24.25 Raiser "The Halberd" Varden, by Haruspex: 24.125 Meros “Oxen” Mortanius by FRRC: 22.125 Kubal, Bane of the West, by DarthLoser: 18.75 Lots of characters that sound really fun for a game, gang. Pat yourselves on the back. :) |
| TheChilliGod10-27-06, 12:15 AM | ...I knew it. When I was through with my scores (I was the first to finish scoring, thanks to a convenient 3-day weekend), I had a 6th sense that Heros_Backpack would be our next eligible judge. (Not to say that I scored Slice highest or anything, but I did get that feeling) And lookie here, I'm correct. Check me, I must be psychic. Anyway, congratulations to Heros_Packpack, I hope to see you on that panel of judges next round. For everyone who entered as well, well done; you all had charm in each entry. Every one of you gets a :cookie: . And, I don't know if I'll want to post comments later on. I hate repeating what's already been said as much as I hate treading toes, so I'm going to wait until Zherog and JasonOrlandoHawk have their comments posted before I decide. Of course, you can still PM me for my comments. |
| Far_Traveler10-27-06, 09:39 AM | Disqualified or no, can I get my character judged? |
| Zherog10-27-06, 10:14 AM | I was going to provide comments on your character, though after I post the others - I do comments and scores at the same time. Since I was going to circle back and write up comments on your character, I see no reason why I can't tell you what scores I would've given you. I can't speak for the other judges, however. |
| Zherog10-27-06, 10:37 AM | Without any further adieu, comments from Z. I’ll start off with a quick generic one. I absolutely love some of the names people come up with for their characters (in this contest and otherwise). I’ve always found names for characters interesting. I have one player who always gives his characters real world names (his current character is William, and William’s cohort is Samuel). My wife’s character’s names almost always end in the letter ‘a.’ Anyway, just a quick generic comment; there were definitely some fun names in this one, too. Minor typos and spelling errors won’t hurt your score. Let’s face it, we’ve all sat and proofread something a gajillion times, only to have a typo get through anyway. We’ve all been there. Now, if your typos/spelling/grammar are extreme, then yeah – you can expect that you probably lost some clarity points. A few generic points: There’re a few key things I look for in a background (both here and from my players): Description I want to know what your character looks like, how she dresses, and so on Family Everybody has a family. Tell me something about yours. And if you tell me they’re all dead, you’ll find you’re wrong. Allies Everybody has ‘em, so tell me about yours. Do you have a mentor who taught you your cool abilities? A childhood friend growing up? Whatever – give me somebody who likes you, the more specific the better. Adversaries Everybody has these, too. Whether it’s the neighborhood bully, the dude you stole the prom queen from, or whatever. More specific is better. I like names. Background matches abilities I swear, I once got a background from a player in a 1st level game that basically went on and on about all this stuff she did, to conclude with the sentence, “And that’s the story of how my character single-handedly slew the great wyrm red dragon.” :twitch: I want a background that matches your ability level; if you’re first level, no red dragon slayage. If you’re 12th level, don’t say, “He’s done some stuff here and there.” Goals It’s not exactly part of your background, but it’s something I want to know about. In fact, in my game that’s been going for about 3 years now, I regularly (every 6-9 months) ask my players to reassess their character’s life goals. What’s the same? What’s changed? If I know what your character wants in life, I can tailor adventures to you. Personality This one is last intentionally. I don’t necessarily expect it with every character. Sometimes, you just don’t quite know for sure. It’s nice to have it there as a guide, but I don’t make a fuss if somebody doesn’t share it. You’ll see me talk about those elements a lot when I talk about your backgrounds. Math Stuff [nit pick]You have Int and Wis in the wrong order in your stat section.[/nit pick] AC: 24 = 10 + 9 (Armour) + 2 (Deflection) + 2 (Natural) + 1 (Insight) It’s generally a good idea to also list your touch AC (13) and your flat-footed AC (24). Skills <<snippity snip>> A good idea for many DMs is to note when you’ve purchased a skill cross-class. It actually took me a moment to figure out the skills. 4: (Fighter) Weapon Specialization (Greatsword) You don’t qualify for this feat at 4th level; one of the pre-reqs is to be a 4th level fighter, but you seem to have taken your barbarian levels first (as evidenced by not having a fighter bonus feat at first level, and by virtue of your hit point total). It doesn’t completely pooch your character, though – you could very easily swap it with another feat at a higher level, since you have several with no pre-req (Improved Init or Improved Unarmed Strike, for example). Illiteracy This technically goes away once you gain the fighter levels. +2 Unholy Greatsword of Flaming Burst - 24,350gp +4 Breastplate of Light Fortification (25%) - 18,200gp These two items present your biggest mathematical/rules issue. You completely priced them wrong. When you’re applying multiple abilities to a weapon, armor, or shield you add up the bonuses to determine the price. So, for example, your weapon costs the same as a +6 weapon – or 72,000 gold. Your armor costs the same as a +5 armor – or 25,000 gold. This (obviously) throws you way over the wealth guidelines laid out for this contest. Even when you’re upgrading an existing weapon, you still pay these costs. For example, if you have a +2 greatsword and you want to add the unholy enhancement, you pay the difference between a +4 greatsword and a +2 greatsword (so, in the end, you pay the cost of a +4 weapon). Armbands of Might I really like this item! It’s pretty much a “must have” item on any tank characters I build. Finally, it’s often a good idea to provide stat information for the effects of rage. This way, there’s no computing it during the games – you simply look at a different spot on your character sheet. Background Stuff Overall, your background is decent enough. Were I your DM, I can almost certainly guarantee Elden and/or Maria would return to face Meros again – as undead. :D You have most of the touchstones I like to see, even if barely: you mention family, allies/friends, and adversaries. One thing you’re missing, though, is a description of Meros. We know he has a lot of scars, but other than that we don’t get to really form a mental picture of the man. What color hair? What size build? What style of dress? Those sort of things help your fellow players envision your character, and they can help you, too. There’s a handful of typos in your background area, but they weren’t so bad that it made it impossible to read. If you want them pointed out, let me know. General stuff One thing I would worry about would be how well Meros would work in a group of PCs. Of course, that wasn’t really one of the stated design goals, so it’s unfair to hold that against you (or anybody else). Meros is fairly stereotypical for the role we asked for – he’s a big brute who’s dumped his mental stats in exchange for pumping up his physical stats. You’re highly susceptible to spells that require a Will save, even while raging. While your Reflex save is actually lower than your Will save when you’re raging, it’s not much of a problem because you have the hit points to absorb a spell or two; but one dominate person not only takes you out of the fight, it makes you a big problem for any enemies. From a gladiatorial point of view, all a caster would have to do is nail you with a dominate person and force your surrender. If Meros were my character, it would be something I’d be concerned about. I appreciated you having your “base stats” followed by your altered stats. It made checking the math really easy. I also appreciated your little feat table. That’s also a help when going through doing the verifications. Math Stuff 10 Constitution [+0] Ouch! Don’t see too many warrior-type builds with a Con this low. Definitely something different. Your saves are all pretty weak – even your strong Fort save is something a similar-level caster could likely punch through. Figure the caster has a save DC of 23 on her highest level spells (10 + spell level (6) + ability mod (6) + Spell Focus), and you’ll need to roll a 15 or better to make your best save. To make a Will save, you have to roll a 20. That’s dangerous living. I liked a lot of your equipment choices. Potions such as neutralize poison and remove disease are quite sensible, since you never know what your enemy is going to toss at you. Background Stuff I thought your background could use a little more. Remember, we’re talking about a 12th level character; while I’m glad not to have to read through War and Peace, his past exploits could use a bit of fleshing out, if for no other reason than to give you more of an idea who this man is. You have a basic description – we know he’s a red head with facial hair, and we have a height and weight. We learn of the possibility of a brother. Maybe he exists, maybe he doesn’t. We don’t know anything of his parents. We have some potential enemies. He’s been in a lot of combat, so somebody’s bound to hate him who’s still alive. One very likely one that would see play were I the DM would be a guy he left “face down in the ditch, food for stray dogs.” :) At this level, I’d like to see a specific enemy or adversary somewhere in his past. The only allies we have hints of would be those who have trained him on rare occasions. Why not name one of them? A kindly old man who used to be captain of the guards and is a master in the halberd, or whatever. Named allies are good. Your background reads easily, which is always a good thing. General Stuff Spinning Halberd is from Complete Warrior Leap Attack and Combat Intuition are from Complete Adventurer ... Triple Capsule Retainer, Quickflame Capsule, Quickfrost Capsule, Quickspark Capsule are from Complete Warrior I appreciate these sorts of notes. I would’ve found them all eventually, but it certainly saves me some time. Math Stuff AC 24 (9 armor + 2 ring + 3 dex) Listing touch (15) and flat-footed (21) ACs is a good idea. You never know when you’ll need to know those. +2 Defending Shortsword +13 (base11 + 2mag + 4str) Damage: 1d6 +4 (19-20 x2) (2str + 2mag) This should be at +15 – 11 base, +4 Str, +2 enhancement = +17; –2 TWF = +15 Background Stuff So, when Varshak killed the warlord, what kept him from being imprisoned or killed? I definitely like the inclusion of a “fighting style” section. That’s an excellent addition to a character with lots of fighting options. There he unleashed his “Whirling Blades” technique and slew four of the five warriors in one fell swoop. The fifth was not long for this world. No affect on your score, but just to make sure you’re clear on some mechanics, should Varshak ever become a real character. You are aware that you cannot attack with two weapons during a whirlwind, correct? All your attacks come from your primary weapon. A very solid description of your character. This really helps paint a picture of what your guy looks like. I would’ve liked to have seen more details about enemies and allies. There’s some details for a DM to work with in those categories, but not much – and anything really would be a stretch. I especially like listing “future goals” for Varshak (even if you put them in the ‘personality’ section ;) ). That’s something else that helps your DM tailor at least part of the game towards you personally. Kudos. Overall, the background is solid; it explains where he came from, and how he got to where he is. Varshak is a pretty stereotypical “gladiator” though – former slave who fights in the pits. Didn’t some famous Hollywood Type guy make a movie like that. I’m drawing a blank on the name of the movie, though. Starred some guy named Russell Something-or-other... :P General Stuff LE Hobgoblin Fighter 11 (ECL 12) You get to hear a Zherog rant. None of this affects your score, because you followed the rules. Why the hell does the hobgoblin have a +1 LA? (That’s a rhetorical question – I know the reason is because of “unbalanced” stats). Take away the LA, and look at the race. Would you always prefer a hobgoblin fighter over a dwarven fighter? I wouldn’t. Would you always prefer a hobgoblin fighter over a human fighter? I wouldn’t. Hell, I could argue there a times I’d rather have an elf fighter in place of a hobgoblin fighter. BAH! *ahem* Will: +5 (3base + 2cloak) Like a lot of characters in this contest, you’re begging for a spellcaster to hit you with dominate person or other nasty Will save spells. I’m always curious why players don’t do more to cover up their character’s weak saves. I do it too – I just can’t ever really figure out why. Circlet of Blasting, Minor (6,480gp) Interesting choice of equipment... Math Stuff I like the dervish class. Quick little story. My wife and I once played in a high-power game where almost anything was OK. In essence, each player could pick three non-core books, and then everybody could use any of the books that were selected to build their characters (along with core). There were also houserules in place that reduced level adjustments. So my wife decided she liked the dervish and wanted to give it a try. So her next task was to find a race; like just about everybody, she wanted to play around with a non-standard race, given the LA houserule. Well, she ended up settling on a centaur. :uh-huh: I tell ya, every time she Tumbled, it cracked me up. :D *ahem* anyway... Human Male, Fighter5/Dervish5/Tempest2 So I’m a powergamer. I try to set it aside for these contest, and not judge based on power (though I carefully check all the math). I’ll toss out a suggestion to you on this build, though. Fighter5 is a pretty empty level – you get +1 BAB and nothing else, not even save bonuses. And the skills suck, too. You would do well to consider grabbing the first level of swashbuckler instead. It certainly fits the overall concept well, you’ll get Weapon Finesse for free (allowing you to spend the feat somewhere else), you get the same BAB, and you improve your Fort save. And it has better skills and more of ‘em. :) Alright – that’ll be the only bit of “power” advice in the whole thing. Fort +10 (+8 base, +2 Con) Ref +11 (+5 base, +6 Dex) Will +4 (+5 base, -1 Wis) I get drastically different values for your Fort and Reflex saves. I’m getting Fort +7 and Ref +14. Fighter 5 has base saves of 4/1/1. Dervish5 has base saves of 1/4/4. Tempest2 has base saves of 0/3/0. So add those all up, and your total base saves are 5/85. Looks like you somehow flip-flopped the two save values. I don’t see a speed listed anywhere. Looks like Kor’s would be 40’. I was unable to figure out how to back into your skills. Basically, I’m just seeing too many skills that are cross class. For example, to meet your Dervish pre-reqs you had to spend cross class skill ranks on Tumble and Perform (dance). You have 5 ranks in Bluff, but that’s a cross class skill for all your classes. You have max ranks in Perform (dance), Perform (chant), and Tumble - so that means you spent cross class ranks from the Tempest class on those skills. Based on your background stuff, though, I get the feeling that Perform (chant) doesn’t really have 15 ranks; it’s just your versatile performer feat. Even making that assumption, though, I can’t quite get to your skills.. Saddle bags (5) Going on the assumption that this actually means 5 saddlebags, that costs you 20 gp. And if that assumption is correct, I calculate you as 14 silver pieces over the price limit. Background Stuff Even without the “People – Friends” and “People – Not Friends” boxes, your background had a good mix of allies and adversaries. There’s good stuff for a DM to work with – your burgeoning relationship with Angelica, your seething at Darneer, and so on. Kor has some goals, short term and long term. Short term, just surviving is key. That’s a pretty good goal. :) But he also wants to return home, and he also abhors slavery. There’s good stuff there for a DM to work with. For example, he could start off with several brutal combats in the gladiator arena, making Kor work for his short term goal. While that’s going on, the wheels can be spinning in the background for a rebellion that seeks to end slavery; Kor could catch wind of this and have that spinning in the background, and now suddenly he’s faced with a decision — fight to end slavery or go home. That’s good stuff to work with. General Stuff Weapon Collection (1 of everything in PHB) (1991gp, 6sp) :twitch: I liked the little list of “sources.” I would’ve found everything eventually, but it’s always nice to not have to dig through every book to find something. Math Stuff AC 24 (29/30/33) (10 +3 Dex + 2 Canny Defence + 3 Nat Arm + 2 Deflection + 1 Insight + 3 Bracers of Armor (+5 Combat Expertise/ +1 Dodge/ + 4 Mobility)) ( +2 Enhanced Mobility when moving away) A few things here. 1) I found this very confusing to figure out. I got it eventually, but... 2) You didn’t mention touch AC (18) or flat-footed AC (19). BAB +10 (+1 Rogue, +2 Bard, +4 Fighter, +3 Duelist) You should include a grapple number somewhere; next to BAB is the typical spot. Your value is +11 (+10 BAB, +1 Str). Fort +8, Ref +13, Will +5 I get +7 for your Fort save: +0 from rogue2, +1 from bard3, +4 from fighter4, +1 from duelist1 and a +1 Con mod. 0+1+4+1+1=7. I was able to back into all your other save numbers. Primary Attack: +2 Keen Rapier - Att Bon +13, Dam 1d6 + 3, Crit 15-20 (x2) Listing the full attack values is a good idea. The +13 is correct, assuming you’re using TWF. But the full attack would be +13/+8. Disable Device +6 (2 ranks, +2 Int, +2 synergy) Took me a moment to figure this one out. Assuming what you have listed as a “+2 synergy” is the bonus from your tools, it’s not a synergy bonus – it’s a circumstance bonus. You have it listed correctly under Open Lock. Jump +13 (8 ranks, +1 Str, +2 Feat, +2 synergy) You should receive an additional +4 because of your enhanced speed – you gain a +4 for every 10’ of movement above 30 feet. (small characters get screwed; they get a –6 for every 10’ under 30 feet) TOTAL MONEY 88,000gp It’s possible I added wrong, but I get a total of 87,990 for Slice. Of course, under is significantly better than over. Background Stuff What an awesome character concept! A DM could have a ton of fun setting up situations for you with this sort of character. That’s the point of a solid background! We know a bit about her family – or, at least, her parents and older brother. She has at least one enemy (the young courtier she managed to trick into the trap) in her background. There’re some vague allies – people who have trained Slice – but a specific named person would be better. Her plain white Entertainer’s outfit is slashed to reveal streaks of bright red and yellow whenever she moves Nice flavor. Does Slice make use of feinting in combat, or is her Bluff skill that high just so she can continue to pull off her duel existence? guaranteeing herself 1-2 AoOs Not necessarily. I’ve played characters that carry as many as a dozen or so daggers. If you disarmed them, they’d just Quickdraw another. Granted, against a lot of foes you can expect them to move to their weapon and pick it up, or perhaps even attack unarmed. But don’t discount people carrying multiple weapons. There’s a few typos and such in your background, but nothing terrible. General Stuff CN Human Female Rogue 2/ Bard 3/ Fighter 4/ Duelist 3 To quote Elan, from Order of the Stick: “Doesn’t that strike you as needlessly complicated?” :P :P Your “level x level breakdown” was a big help – thanks for including it. It was especially useful for verifying feats, since it let me know what level you took them. Skills were useful – though I can almost always back into those once I know what class was taken at first level. Still, it was helpful, and that can’t hurt your score. :) The ring of mind shielding is a wonderful addition to the character; hopefully, the reason it’s there isn’t lost on most people. Very nice touch. Math Stuff AC 26, touch 20, flat-footed 23 I can’t back into this number; the closest I can get is 25 — which is still an incorrect value. The only way to get to 26 is to take the incorrect value of 25 and add Dodge. But since Dodge is a circumstantial bonus (it only applies against one target) it doesn’t get added to AC directly in the stat block. How I got to 25: 10 base + 3 Dex + 3 Deflection + 4 armor (bracers of armor) + 5 armor (breastplate) = 25 The problem is that both bracers of armor and the breastplate grant the same bonus type (armor) so only the best one should be added. Going with the breastplate, your AC should be 21, touch should be 16, flat-footed should be 18. hp 89 (12 HD) I also can’t back into this number. If I go with a barbarian level at first level I get a total of 95 (12 @ first level, 6.5 for barb level 2, 9 for the ranger levels (4.5 each), 44 for the fighter levels (5.5 each), for a total of 71.5. Then add 24 for Con and we get 95.5 (rounded down to 95). If I go with ranger at first level, I get a total of 93 (8 @ first, 4.5 for ranger 2, 13 for the barb levels (6.5 per level), 44 for the fighter levels for a total of 69.5; plus the 24 Con = 93.5. If I go with fighter at first level, I get a total of 94 (10 @ first level, 38.5 for the other fighter levels, 9 for the ranger levels, 13 for the barb levels, for a total of 70.5. Plus the 24 Con = 94.5. Speed 40 ft. (8 squares) Your speed should be 30 feet. Base for a human is 30, then you add 10’ for your barbarian levels, but then your armor reduces your speed back to 30 again. This comment assumes you’re actually wearing the breastplate, of course. Melee +18/+18/+13/+8 (2d4+7,2d4+5/20x2, Scorpion’s Lash) Melee +20/+20/+15/+10 (2d4+2d6+9, 2d4+2d6+7/20x2, Scorpion’s Lash v Humans) I think here we have your absolute biggest problems. Let’s start with the TWF. You’re using a spiked chain. Cool – I thoroughly expected somebody to use one in this contest, just because of the control it can give over a battlefield. However... The spiked chain is a two handed weapon and it is not a double weapon. That means there’s no way to use it in conjunction with the Two-Weapon Fighting feat — you can’t hold a weapon in your off hand, and you can’t use the chain as your off hand weapon. Your damage is incorrect as well. You should be adding a total of 9 = you have a +5 Strength mod with a two-handed weapon, for a total damage bonus of +7. Your weapon has a +2 enhancement bonus. The mistake, I suppose, is the same as above – you’re treating it as a one-handed and a light weapon, and it’s not. The next problem you have is your favored enemy bonus. You don’t have enough damage, even taking into account the mistake above. You have +5 from Strength, and against humans you have a +4 enhancement bonus for a total of +9, without taking into account the extra Strength bonus for using a two handed weapon. Your final problem here is that you have a keen weapon listed in your equipment, so your threat range should be 19-20. Base Atk +12/+7/+2; Grp +15[/b] Your grapple bonus should be +17 - +12 BAB, +5 Strength. [quote] Atk Options Cleave, Dodge, Elusive Target, Power Attack, Quick Draw, Rage 1/day, Track, Two-Weapon Fighting You have Cleave and Quickdraw listed here, but they don’t appear in your feat list further down your stat block. Int 13 (12 Base) OK, so if the base score is 12 how do you get it up to a 13? This is a fairly important question, because getting a 13 Int is key to qualifying for Combat Expertise. I suspect you’re supposed to have a 13 base, because if I add up your point buy using the base values you listed, I get 27 points rather than 28. So we can chalk that up to a typo, I’m thinking. Cross Class Skill ->Tumble+7 (5 ranks, +3 Dexterity, -1 Armor Check Penalty) Note this passage from the rules for Tumble: You can’t use this skill if your speed has been reduced by armor, excess equipment, or loot. Your speed should be reduced (as mentioned earlier), so while you can have the ranks in it, you can’t use it while wearing your armor. You have some synergy bonuses missing from your skills. 5 ranks in Tumble grants a +2 bonus to Jump; and 5 ranks in Jump grants a +2 bonus on Tumble. On a more general note about skills, I was unable to back into your total skill points spent – even if I put Ranger at first level. Scorpion’s Lash (+2 Keen Humanbane Spiked Chain) (18,325gp) This is a +4 weapon, so it should cost 32,325. I suspect you intended to drop keen, since you didn’t include it in your stat block. Composite Shortbow (+3 Strength) (300 gp) 8 Daggers (16 gp) ... +1 Shortsword (2,100 gp) ... Masterwork Falchion (375 gp) You have these weapons, so how come you don’t have stats for them up in the “attack” section of your stat block? Background Stuff Overall, I liked your background. I’m often a sucker for 1st person narratives, so you certainly have that in your favor. What does Kabul look like? We don’t really know, since you never give a description. You mention his family, of course. I’m not a fan of, “Here’s his family, but they’re all dead.” Invariably when I PC gives me that sort of background, they’re not all dead – somebody lived through something, or was away, or was resurrected for somebody else’s nefarious plans, or whatever I can devise. You have plenty of enemies. A DM shouldn’t have any trouble finding a whole slew of dudes who hate your guts. :D You don’t list any real allies, though. Even ruthless warlords have ‘em. Find a way to write one or two into your background. Other than your cohort and follower, I mean. Include some others. Mention a former lover you actually cared about; mention the one chieftain from the other tribes you actually got along with. Mention the tribe member you hand picked to serve as your successor. Whatever. Find an ally for you DM to work with – that way, he isn’t always springing long lost relatives and people who hate your guts on you. :) General Stuff Yay – somebody who uses the new stat block format. If you don’t mind, a few comments about some of your formatting on the stat block: Uncanny Dodge should be listed on the AC line, not the Special Actions line Track is not a Combat Option, so it shouldn’t be there. Abilities, feats, skills, and possessions get listed on one long line each. Now, in this instance I can see why you went with the vertical listing for abilities, skills, and possesions, given that you show your math afterwards. The general rule of thumb is to include a “mini” stat block below the main one that shows how the character’s stats change when raging. Craft (Weaponsmithing) Very appropriate skill choice for a gladiator, in my opinion. Good flavor skill that still provides your character some usefulness. Math Stuff AC 16 (+4 Leather Armor +2, +2 Natural) You should include touch (10) and flat-footed (16) ACs. I think you’re missing a language. Your base Int is 12, so you have one bonus language from the start plus common. So just for simplicity, we’ll say Dafohy is your “base” language. Then, you spent 6 skill points (3 ranks) on Speak Language; that should give you three more languages, though you only have 2 others (kakado and goblin). As for the rest of your skills: There’s a really important question to know the answer to. At what level did White Eagle hit “old” age? You see, up until that point he would have a +1 Int mod; from that point forward he would have a +2 Int mod. It makes judging whether you spent your skill points correctly a bit difficult. Going with the max (that is, assuming you didn’t gain your first level until you were already “old”) doesn’t do it – that leaves me with 14 extra skill points. So, basically, I was unable to determine your skill points. *shrug* Assuming they’re correct: You should have a synergy bonus to Ride from your ranks in Handle Animal. You have a +4 “other” listed. The best I can come up with for what that would be is your +2 Synergy bonus and a +2 bonus from the Animal Affinity feat. Wild Empathy 1d20 +14 Excellent. I like seeing when PCs list this value after their ability. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had PCs waste time as they look up what goes into the number, and then calculate the number. Also, it’s especially good to see you remembered the +2 Synergy from Handle Animal. Follow the Guide (Su) (Can attempt to retry a failed save vs. enchantment spells) This is just a personal preference thing, and nothing I would ever actually dock a contestant points over: I personally like to list abilities like that up near my saves; it helps me to remember I have them. Background Stuff I didn’t have any problems with your background using Kalamar; in fact, if you hadn’t said anything I would’ve just assumed it was a homebrew setting. The details of the setting didn’t have an effect on the rules. There’s some grammar errors in your background, in particular a few cases where you have run-on sentences. I can point them out to you if you want. They made things a little choppy to read at spots. I enjoyed your “twist” to renaming magical items. Nice flavor. |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-27-06, 11:09 AM | I have been called into work early, so my comments will not be posted until this evening. Remember, if anyone wants me to refrain from posting comments, please notify me before this evening, otherwise it shall be considered public material. (And I shall try not too repeat Zherog to much when I post.) |
| jennibert10-27-06, 11:35 AM | Congratulations to the winners! All of your entries were interesting and fun to read and figure out. Way to go, everyone! I'm not going to post my comments, for the simple reason of the only computer I have with internet access is in a poisition that gives me back problems, so I don't want to mess with it. But if anyone really wants their comments, just PM me. I will say, for the most part, I noticed a lot of the same things as Zherog:). Congrats again, and I look forward to seeing some of you back in future competitions! Oh, and FarTraveler--it is my intention to go back over your character, but I haven't gotten the chance yet and may not for a little while. If you haven't heard anything by the middle of next week, send me a PM to remind me. |
| Zherog10-27-06, 12:04 PM | Some general comments about stuff I expected to see. I fully expected somebody to come to the contest with a spiked chain. I wasn't disappointed. It's a very good weapon for a gladiator, given all the things you can do with it. I expected a lot of fighter and barbarian levels. Just like in HC2 where clerics and paladins were the obvious choice, in this one fighters and barbs made the obvious choice. In my opinion, if you went that path, you needed to add some flair to your character to get past the "ho hum" feeling. I was hoping somebody would come in with an arcane caster; a conjurer made a lot of sense to me (summon things to fight for you), but really any arcane caster would've made an interesting entry. I hope people who entered had fun. I think all these characters are playable in a game, and that's a good thing. Finally, I hope everybody learned one or two things about character building and character development. That (along with the fun) is one of the key goals of running these contests, after all. |
| Kit_the_Odd10-27-06, 02:19 PM | First I'd like to thank all of the judges for their time and effort. I really enjoy these competitions. So I’m a powergamer. I try to set it aside for these contest, and not judge based on power (though I carefully check all the math). I’ll toss out a suggestion to you on this build, though. Fighter5 is a pretty empty level – you get +1 BAB and nothing else, not even save bonuses. And the skills suck, too. You would do well to consider grabbing the first level of swashbuckler instead. It certainly fits the overall concept well, you’ll get Weapon Finesse for free (allowing you to spend the feat somewhere else), you get the same BAB, and you improve your Fort save. And it has better skills and more of ‘em. :) Alright – that’ll be the only bit of “power” advice in the whole thing. Good point. I thought about using the Swash class at one point, but I was already taking 2 PrCs, and I know some DMs don't like too many classes and PrCs. I could probably explain it as a transistion to a more Swashbuckly fighting style, but I decided to keep it simple. I didn't really think about getting Weapon Finesse for free though. I get drastically different values for your Fort and Reflex saves. I’m getting Fort +7 and Ref +14. Fighter 5 has base saves of 4/1/1. Dervish5 has base saves of 1/4/4. Tempest2 has base saves of 0/3/0. So add those all up, and your total base saves are 5/85. Looks like you somehow flip-flopped the two save values. Hmmm, my CAdv has Tempest 2 as 3/0/0. Is yours different? I don’t see a speed listed anywhere. Looks like Kor’s would be 40’. D'oh! Yeah, you are right. I was unable to figure out how to back into your skills. Basically, I’m just seeing too many skills that are cross class. For example, to meet your Dervish pre-reqs you had to spend cross class skill ranks on Tumble and Perform (dance). You have 5 ranks in Bluff, but that’s a cross class skill for all your classes. You have max ranks in Perform (dance), Perform (chant), and Tumble - so that means you spent cross class ranks from the Tempest class on those skills. Based on your background stuff, though, I get the feeling that Perform (chant) doesn’t really have 15 ranks; it’s just your versatile performer feat. Even making that assumption, though, I can’t quite get to your skills.. Yes, there are a lot of cross-class skills. Tumble is a class skill for Tempest in the CAdv. The Perform(chant) skill should have those ranks amrked as coming from Versitile Performer just as Perform(weapon skills) does. Saddle bags (5) Going on the assumption that this actually means 5 saddlebags, that costs you 20 gp. And if that assumption is correct, I calculate you as 14 silver pieces over the price limit. I don't know what happened here. That 5 should be a 4 meaning 4 gp. (like all the other entries with their cost. Weapon Collection (1 of everything in PHB) (1991gp, 6sp) :twitch: Yeah, I though people might 'like' that. It is really a very expensive flavor item. I had 2000 gp or so left over after getting Kor's fighting equipment and started thinking about what a gladitor might actually own. I figured with as many years as he's been fighting he probably had a lot of weapons recovered from his opponents. I figure the walls of his place are covered with lots of different weapons from the arena. Thank you very much for your comments and thanks again to all the judges. |
| Zherog10-27-06, 02:45 PM | When I get home this evening, I'll double check my copy of Complete Adventurer again to make sure I read the Tempest's saves correctly. It's possible I read it wrong - but I calculated your saves twice - including looking everything up twice - just to make sure. |
| TheChilliGod10-27-06, 03:40 PM | Oh, what the heck. I made too many comments during my scoring to throw them all out the window now! First, the Overall comments. Thematic Creativity: I score this one last, because it is the all-encompassing score that takes in the entire entry. I usually divide this category into two sub-categories: How creative the character is, and how well it ties in with the theme. I've noticed a problem in that it is very difficult to get full marks in both categories; you either post a creative character that bends the theme too much, or you adhere strictly to the theme to create an unoriginal theme. It's finding a balance between these two extremes that get you my full mark. Background Content: In my view, this is not so much a matter of finding specific points about a background like Z; for me, it's more looking at how closely the background matches the character's stats. This is something that nearly everyone forgets to some extent, so it's an important factor to emphasize. I like to know how that warrior got his axe, or about how he got so good at singing. After that, I look for plot hooks. I don't care whether those plot hooks are in the form of allies or enemies from the past, or your character's goals in life, they just have to be plot hooks that a DM can easily latch on. After all, that's what a background is all about for a DM. I also look out for how well this character would fit into a party of PC's, why he would want to, and how he would start. Therefore, those that posted characters that were stuck in their jobs for eternity, they are NPC's in my eye, not PC's. Rules Use: I always do this one first. Again, I split this category into two different categories; which could be most accurately described as "Powergaming" and "Rules Accuracy". Yes, I know that this means that, potentially, someone could rape the rules to make Pun-Pun from the Tarrasque instead of a Kobold at 7th lvl, and still get 5 points from me, which is why the two subcategories are unofficial, so I might just decide to give that Pun-Pun Tarrasque nothing at all. Like Zherog, I check everything. I work out the skills, the point buy, I go IRS on you regardless of what you put down on the equipment list. Albeit, I'm not as thorough. Or perhaps I'm more thorough. I dunno. I'm certainly not as thorough in the Optimization category, since I'm a weak powergamer myself. Clarity: During this category, I focus purely on the eligibility of the stat block. Suggested format for me would be that PC format that has cut-and-paste info from the Character Sheet, as opposed to the NPC stat blocks. Also, if anything's missing, such as your speed, touch & flat-footed AC, languages etc, it takes off points from here. I don't care about minor typos in the slightest. After looking at so many of them on 73H_IN73RN37S!!!!1!!!1Shift+1™, I practically go over them without even noticing. Now, Onto the entries. Thematic Creativity: Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the typical gladiator. Big and strong, not too bright (understatement), charges at his enemy without prior thought but with a big sword, revels in the slaughter, sold into the arena as a slave, and is a member of a group of psychopaths. Not very creative. However, at least this is a gladiator of sorts, and fits in perfectly with the theme, and you did include multiclassing and an interesting prestige class, which does bring in a redeeming factor of sorts. Background Content: I really liked how Meros got into the ravagers (ties in nicely with the Ravager Rites sidebar), and you explained nicely how he got his weapon and armor, and several of his feats. I also commend the use of age, height and weight, as I've seldom seen them in a prior entry. The only thing that would stop me from giving a full score is that there isn't much way that Meros could currently be a PC, since he doesn't intend to escape the arena, and it seems unlikely that Kurn would send him away. Also, I don't understand how Meros came to worship Erythnul, since it seems that Meros was just a slave to Erythnul-worshippers, but not necessarily one himself. Rules Use: Yeah... You don't add the prices of each weapon special ability together for the price... you add the bonuses up then find the price from the total... so yer greatsword would cost 72350gp, not 24350gp, and the breastplate 25350gp, not 18200gp — another hint; must include masterwork cost in armor. But if we ignore all that, gp is on-target. Fort save should be +15 (Adding is fun!), and Will save +5 (+0 Wis mod). Grapple looks as if it should be +20 (BAB+8 Str, Armbands of might wouldn't count because Grapple isn't a strength check). Also, rage lasts for 12 rounds. A lot of these mistakes seem really avoidable if a second glance was offered at the stat block. Now, I can quite easily see this guy as a really good front-liner kill-everything kind of guy, easily able to hold his own in a 1v1 battle (as gladiator matches usually are). Add in rage, plus weapon-channeled Pain Touch, as well as Cruelest Cut, get in a 20% crit, and you end up with something nasty. But, of course, min/maxing to that extreme does have its obvious disadvantages. For example, the bad will saves as Z mentioned, and not all that good conversational ability. Clarity: I was wondering for quite a while if Armbands of Might was a custom item, it's lucky I decided to go over all the books, just in case. That, and flat-footed & touch AC are missing, as well as languages. But aside from that, I can see everything else I want to. Something to mill over, though, it might be more convenient if you included a separate attack for Meros' Greatsword while he is raging. Total: Your layout and background - very good. But a little bit more time and thought would have done nicely while making up the character himself. Thematic Creativity: Glah-dee-ay-tor? Wacht iz dis Glahdeeaytor you speeks ov? I could se very little indication that Raiser is related at all to gladiators. He seems more like a mercenary on the road than a gladiator in the arena (The only hint of gladiator-ing I saw was with the weapon masters, and Raiser only watched those two). And even if he was, straight fighter with all the weapon-specific feats is perhaps the most boring way you could have gone about being a gladiator. However, I do love a halberd fighter, as not often a person wielding a halberd is seen over a greatsword- or greataxe-wielding fighter. Background Content: Good with the age, height and weight. Nice explanation of Raiser's alignment, and a nice story about the rebel leader. You also indicated at a potential goal for Raiser, which a DM really likes to use as plot hooks. However, that is about as far as it gets. Nothing after the rebel leader story was explained in detail. Who were Raiser's parents? What about his brother? (Just because nobody in the world knows what his brother does, doesn't mean that we aren't allowed to) Who was the weapon master that bested him? How did he get into the counter-insurgency job? Any other missions? How did he get the weapon/armor he holds now? Why does he adventure if he has no basic supplies? I could go on forever. Rules Use: Did you know that you suffer a -6 penalty to your jump checks if your speed is 20 feet? Surprising, isn't it? Other than that, gp is flawless, and I can't find a single other thing wrong with the stat block. Well done indeed. As for combat, I would assume that Raiser would start off with a leap attack, then go into Full-Attack madness. A good and solid tactic, and Raiser has lots of other options available to him if current tactics don't work. Fantastic creation here, even if saves are poor. Clarity: Flat-footed & Touch AC are missing. Languages too. Aside from that, I can find everything I need to, however, I got confused at first with Sense Motive being completely separate from all the other skills (which could've led to all sorts of mess). Total: You did ever-so superbly with the stat block. Oh, but if only you could do as well with your character's background. If it weren't for that, I might have just upped and named you the winner. Thematic Creativity: Yet another typical gladiator. Pure fighter, big and strong, waves a big sword around, and was sold into the arena as a slave. I'll admit, a gladiator that focuses on defense over offense is not often seen in the arena, but a straight fighter was certainly the best way to get me bored about the character. Well, at least it is some sort of gladiator, and at least the background provides a clear indication that Varshak is as such. Bonus points for using a hobgoblin. Background Content: The background does explain clearly how Varshak adopted his twin-sword style well enough (Though it isn't too specific on why he decided to use two swords), and definitely why he went for the Whirlwind Attack feat, which I like. Varshak also has a goal in his mind (nice plot hooks), has other potential plot hooks (in the form of, perhaps, enemy supporters of Tandrik, or his fame being tested by a fellow fighter on the road), and is easy enough to adopt as a PC (given that it seems he can leave the arena for more lucrative adventuring at any time). However (there is always a however!), some things weren't explained in great detail. Why specifically did he contemplate suicide, for example? Rules Use: Uhm... You have 14 extra skill points to use, thanks to an Int bonus of +1, and hobgoblins are entitled to a +4 bonus on Move Silently as well. Furthermore, you have your shortsword listed as hitting at +13, but I can only assume that is when using all of its defending ability, and even then, you wouldn't get the enhancement bonus to damage either. Gp is spot on, and I can't find anything else wrong. A TWF'r such as this one usually does well in combat; with such high physical stats, Varshak is definitely going to do well in battle as a fighter, and I can easily see this guy with an AC up to about 35, and still being able to make nasty full attacks (albeit with a rather low bonus to hit). Clarity: Why does nobody include languages as well as touch and flat-footed AC? Why? It may have done to also include a separate attack line for Varshak's bastard sword, without the two-weapon thing (since Varshak will likely spend at least one move action each combat drawing his sword). Further, it would do to properly name all of the features of the stat block. Whirlwind what? Exotic What? Focus What? Exotic What (Bastard Sword)? Focus What (Bastard Sword)? Total: I would suggest going over the character a second time before posting, making sure that you've added everything up right (mechanically as well as thematically). Otherwise, it is a nice and solid entry all around. Thematic Creativity: Two - count 'em, two! - prestige classes. That fit really well together. And also go nicely with the fighter class (which must be the 'must have' gladiator class of the contest. Hmph). Pure Dexterity-based goodness. Kor fits in with the gladiator theme in certainly a more original way than just the normal way, and factoring in the Complete Warrior's gladiator rules only made it better. Very, very well done. Background Content: Lol, Schtial sounds like a drunk saying "Steel." Funny pun. Anyway, I appreciate how you labeled out friends and not-friends for us, but it does nothing for me unless you explain how Kor gets on with these people, and how he met them (some were explained nicely, but others you didn't even mention until the lists). You also didn't explain how Kor came to his Dervish levels, nor how he got such fine armor and weapons (let alone that weapon collection; that would have been a story for sure!). Also, providing a way to become a PC is important, and you helped by giving Kor a life goal as well as good motivation and many plot hooks, but it seems that Kor isn't leaving the arena anytime soon, which would make it difficult to put him in a party. At least you described well his current tactics and the road to his position as gladiator. So much said, yet so little. Rules Use: Off-hand weapons only deal 1/2 strength bonus to damage, which is +0 in this case. Intimidate has a +2 synergy bonus from bluff (must've been a typo), and Intimidate is a cross-class skill for both the tempest and dervish; Tumble and Perform are both cross-class for fighters (I know about Versatile Performer, but that still leaves one of Kor's perform skills hanging), so you can't possibly invest 15 ranks into all of those skills. Also, I came up 10gp short on the accounts, for some reason. Howver, everything else looks nice and even. At this point, My Complete Adventurer says that Tempests do, in fact, get good Fort and bad Ref. Combat-wise, you definitely optimized this character for the gladiator rules (what, with all of these skills designed for the arena; Perform (Weapon Drill), Intimidate, Tumble...), and for getting in lots of hurting attacks with little magical support; commendable. Clarity: Ah! Look at all the spoiler blocks! Look't 'em! I almost cried! Anyway, yay, Touch & Flat-footed AC's; yay, Languages! Speed is missing, however. Also, It's usually best to separate weapons from each other; I don't want the bad aftertaste of looking at 5 attacks from what looked to be one weapon at 12th level. Total: Your theme was wonderful. It is quite clear to me that you really put a lot of effort into this character. However, I would reread what I have told about providing background info, as that was your main weakness. Thematic Creativity: Four classes, one a prestige class. Definitely not a stereotypical combination as I would expect of a fighter/duelist or a rogue/fighter, and definitely not a stereotypical combination of other choices made. Including a bardic aspect further intrigues me, and the background ties in nicely with the gladiatorial theme, as well as the character's mechanics. Background Content: The use of a double life is very interesting, and would provide very interesting roleplaying opportunities. Slice's story to learning the lockpicking skills also explains her chaotic alignment (as well as providing a good plot hook), along with the fact that she finds trouble keeping separate identities (again, a good plot hook if someone were to find out). One thing I don't understand, however, is why and how Slice was trained in the use of the rapier and short-sword in the first place. Also, why did she become a bard, and not an aristocrat or something? Where did she get her good singing voice, and to what use does she put it to? And how well does she fare in the arena anyway? Overall, though, you covered up most of the other aspects of the character herself nicely, which is good. Rules Use: I'm pretty sure that Slice's fort save should be +7 (+0 Rogue, +1 Bard, +4 Fighter, +1 Duelist; +1 Con). You also didn't include the bonus from Boots of Striding and Springing to your jump check (Both the +4 speed and the +5 competence), and I'm pretty sure that the +2 'synergy' bonus to Disable Device is really a circumstance bonus. You also appear to be 10gp short on the equipment list (and I'm left assuming that jewellery costs 50gp, which doesn't even matter). Other than that, sweet. Now, this character seems a little bit all over the place in combat. I can see her making the first move all the time against opponents with that initiative, getting some sneak-attack in on the first round, followed by all the AC things and attempts to disarm, then by AoO's and full attacks. However, I doubt that Slice's bard levels would do anything useful other than give her a small boost to attack/damage, and maybe emergency healing. The bard part doesn't contribute to Slice's fighting style, and is probably meant purely for the roleplaying edge. Clarity: I cry, because once again Flat-Footed & Touch AC's are missing, as well as Grapple, but including languages is good. You didn't include any of the iterative attacks on the Rapier, and I usually appreciate it if you include a separate attack block for your primary weapon (because usually, you spend at least a move action drawing your weapons, and can make only one attack with one of them). But everything else seems organized and nicely laid out. Really appreciate the level-by-level progression, because it let me find cross-class skills that explained the apparent lack in skill ranks. Total: When first looking at this character, I was doubtful that it would do well. But you pulled it off very nicely in my regard. However, I would recommend revising the character a second time before posting, you may have came across a few of those glaring errors. Thematic Creativity: Surprise, all three of the class choices that Kubal's made are fighter types. More interesting than a pure fighter though, and you managed to weave the feat choices to something rather interesting indeed, and seeming tailor-made for gladiator matches that are so often against other humanoids, and so often reliant on Perform (weapon drill) checks. I wish that Kubal's backstory had as much relation to being a gladiator, as it was only mentioned that he had any relationship to being a gladiator in the last 3 or 4 lines, and even then, it doesn't sound in the background that he is really the gladiator-type. Oh, I should mention that I also expected a Spiked-Chain fighter somewhere in this competition, as they are fun to play with. Background Content: There is a lot of warfare and politics going on in that backstory. They are good elements to add to a background, because they make it interesting for me to read. Many plot hooks available as well, from vengeful former leaders of Kubal's assortment to diehard fans of his conquests, to those that lost their families in those wars. Your backstory also explains how Kubal came across his primary weapon & armor, as well as a few of the feat choices (such as Leadership). However, I am uncertain as to why Kubal chose to dabble in ranger, as he doesn't seem as the sort that would wander in the wilderness, nor have any kinship with animals. Also, no information at all is given on Sethulet in the background. And it may be a bit difficult for Kubar to leave the arena and adventure with some other PC's, though. Aside from that, this is a very well-made background, even if it contains many place names that sometimes confused me. Rules Use: As mentioned, Base Int may be 13 and not 12. Otherwise, you might still have a point left. Kubal's spiked chain deals +2 extra damage against humans, because of Bane as well as Favored Enemy (Human). The off-hand deals only 2d4+4 damage (+2 enhancement, +2 str). And you have to pay extra to get the other end of a double weapon to the same as the primary end (the same amount as with the primary end). And I'm going to pretend that you did not, in fact, enhance Kubal's weapon with Keen. And since when were Spiked Chains considered double weapons, anyway? That sure is news to me. Furthermore, your Grapple is +17 (due to the strength belt), I think that your fort save is supposed to be +14 (+3 Barbarian, +6 Fighter, +3 Ranger; +2 Con), Braces of Armor and your regular armor don't stack with regards to armor bonuses (and even if they do stack, your touch AC would have to be 17, and flat-foot remains at 26, due to Uncanny Dodge), Mithral Breastplate costs 4200gp (not 1200gp), Composite Shortbows cost 375gp (you still have the 75 tacked on), +1 shortswords cost 2310gp, I am left assuming that Potions of Cure "Moderate Light" actually mean "Cure Light," you're supposed to add 1/2 your BAB as well as a further +6 bonus for feats you have to your Perform (Weapon Drill) checks (and I don't even know how you got +6), Jump has a +4 speed bonus to it, and you have at least 10 too many skill ranks spent. This, sir, is what I call raping of the rules. I am just going to point out to Z at this point that Kubal's Breastplate is mithral, and therefore doesn't include a speed penalty because it is, in fact, light armor for most purposes. This would explain the tumbling, and the 40ft speed. With so many errors, I can't even reasonably judge Kubal's real combat effectiveness! Clarity: Yay, Languages; yay, Touch & Flat-footed AC! I was wondering when I'd see a DMGII stat block being used in an entry. I quite like it, myself, but that didn't affect the score. However, you didn't bother to include attack lines for each of Kubal's other weapons, even the magical ones. Big no no. There are a few other clarity problems (such as you aren't supposed to always add Dodge to your AC, I like statistics for Raging, and including Favored Enemy bonuses to skills would do nicely, and Kubal has subtype: human) but aside from that, it is rather clear and organized. Total: The mechanics had great relation to the theme, but were completely out of whack. The background had little to do with the theme, but it was very useful and interesting. Thematic Creativity: A Spirit Shaman! Very interesting class to give to a gladiator, and I can see from at least half the background that White Eagle is indeed a sort of gladiator. A pity I can't see the same resemblance in his stat line, aside from his conveniently few levels in fighter, and a few of his feat choices. While certainly an interesting and original combination of choices for a gladiator, I doubt that White Eagle was ever good at this job. Background Content: Long name. That's what titles do to you, I suppose. Anyway, this is a well-told story, even if summarized. Includes good plot hooks (associates of Doe, old hobgoblins looking for the guy that so upset Azzak Grond, chieftains duties etc), as well as a good explanation of a few of the character's class & feat choices. However, some critical things might have done better if they were left in the summary, such as how exactly did White Eagle escape the hobgoblins, or how & by whom specifically he was captured in the first place. That, and I got confused about half-way through due to all the unfamiliar names, ignorant as I am of Kingdoms of Kalamar (which I only realized existed a week prior to the submission of this character, in another thread). Rules Use: Daggers crit on a 19-20 range. There also might have been more cross-class ranks taken than you let on, because out of a calculated 99 ranks, you have only 85. You also get at least one extra language due to your intelligence bonus. Since gimping your character on gold was done on purpose, I didn't bother to double-check the receipt. Otherwise, this character looks clean! As for combat, I can see little way that White Eagle would survive for very long in the arena, unless he picks the right spells (and I don't know what spells he usually picks). He doesn't look gladiatorially optimized, in any case. Clarity: No Flat-footed & Touch AC! But yay Languages! Don't forget to put in skills that you don't have ranks in but have other bonuses, such as Listen (via Alertness), as well as Synergy bonuses (such as for survival, via Knowledge [Nature]). Also, I don't know where during progression (if at all) the age category goes up a notch, as is vaguely indicated in some areas (eg-skills?). And again, spoiler tag suffocation! Total: For an actual PC, this isn't too bad, quite good, even. For a gladiator, I think that more effort would have been needed to make this really stand out. Let me know if I'm stupid or something, will ya? :D |
| Zherog10-27-06, 04:02 PM | I'm not sure who's tougher - me or Chilli. :D |
| FRRC10-27-06, 05:01 PM | Thanks for the comments, much abliged. I can see where I went wrong, especially on the costing. Its not exactly clear on how to do it properly, you just get a tiny sentance under the box :P Me and my group just assumed you do it the way I had done it. But how would you price, for example, acid resistance? Its jut got +18,000. Do you simply add +18,000 to the price or add 18,000 equivilent? And I agree, my layout could have been better. This was my first player run competition I had entered (You can guess by the join date) and under the excitement of getting a character in, I missed some stuff out. This unfortunatly affected my own observation of things like qualifications of Feats. Silly me. Zherog: Technically it would go away, but why would a Barbarian turning Fighter suddenly learn to be literate? :D I look forward to your next challenge. |
| Zherog10-27-06, 05:16 PM | TBut how would you price, for example, acid resistance? Its jut got +18,000. Do you simply add +18,000 to the price or add 18,000 equivilent? The former - it just adds directly to the cost. For example, a +1 chain shirt of acid resistance would cost 19,250. A chain shirt costs 100, and making it masterwork adds another 150. A +1 enhancement bonus costs 1,000 gp, and the acid resistance costs 18,000 gold. If I later add light fortification (a +1 ability) to the armor, it would cost me 3,000 gp - the difference in cost between a +2 and a +1. Zherog: Technically it would go away, but why would a Barbarian turning Fighter suddenly learn to be literate? :D Good question. I can answer it, too. :) Roleplaying. I once played an earth genasi barbarian in a game. The game started at level 2, and I knew that at levels 4 and 5 I was going to grab two levels of fighter (yes, for the bonus feats - sue me :P ). Through working with other players during character creation, my barbarian happened to already be friends with the party wizard when the game started. She was kind enough to "teach" him how to read and write. So, by the time I reached level 4 and grabbed the fighter level it was easy to explain why I was suddenly literate. That's pretty much what Chilli was getting to in his general comments. One of the tasks your background should serve is to explain your progression up to that point. Working in an ally who takes the time to teach you to read and write - even on a rudimentary basis - helps that sort of thing. I look forward to your next challenge. Expect it to go up next Friday. :) |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-27-06, 05:52 PM | General Comments This is a Character Creation competition, not a character combat competition, which means this character was graded as if they were a submission by my gaming group, not for their combat prowess. Once again, every entry was well done, and worth reading. Don't take my negative comments to harshly. I enjoyed each and every character. This post is solely general comments. Individual character comments will be posted shortly. To help show what I'm looking for, I have included a special "Best in Category" award for each category in the contest. Hopefully, this will serve as a solid example that can be referenced for gamers everywhere. Thematic Creativity Best in Category: Kor Schtiel "Steel" Since the theme was Gladiators, I pulled out Complete Warrior as a method of judging how well an individual character stuck with a theme, particularly by referencing pages 131-2: Gladiatorial Matches. Quote: “The most common gladiatorial match is a one-on-one fight between two lightly armed foes. Armor is rarely issued to the combatants, because the spectators want to be able to see each wound. Magic items are likewise prohibited, because they tend to make matches end quickly. If spellcasting is allowed, it’s typically restricted to flashy evocations and conjurations.” (emphasis mine) I also noted the rules under Gladiators and the Crowd (CW 131), and took those into account when judging how well your character fit with the theme. Did you do your homework when you created your character? Does your character give the spectators a good match, or is he/she a one-hit wonder? What equipment do you typically take into the ring? Can I imagine myself chanting your name during a brutal, no holds barred fight to the death? You get the idea. Note: In regards to armor, I judged your armor based on how visible wounds that you recieved would be, since that is why armor is such a big issue. Thus, No or Light Armor was given a bonus to score, while Medium and Heavy Armor were penalized. However, I judged that based on the BASE armor type, before it is modified. Mithral is a great material, but Mithral Full Plate hides wounds just as much as regular Full Plate, even if it is Medium Armor. Spellcasting: Was it "Flashy" enough? Typically, I would be fine with any evocations, and most illusions and conjuration effects. Healing spells were right out! I ignored the portion of the above quote in regards to magic weapons simple b/c that is of practical application to a Level 12 character. I didn't expect you to walk around w/o a Magic Weapon. I am particularly neutral in regards to Originality vs. Predictable Character Concepts. I want to see how well you pull it off. If people are going to chant your name, you need a Charisma Score to go with it! Background Best in Category: TIE: Kubal, Bane of the West, Chief White Eagle 1) NPC Connections: "No Man is an Island." To that phrase, I shall add: "..., Not even gladiators." Family, Friends, Foes, etc... If all your family is dead, and all your foes lay broken at your feet, take my word for it, I wasn't impressed. 2) Appropriate Backstory: You're level 12. Make me believe it. I want something a little more complex than "I've fought in the gladiator arena, and I haven't lost yet!" 3) Character Development: Does your character grow, or fall, into his stats? While I understand that some people really are Fighter 12, I want to know what in your life made you take each of those levels. If you power gamed w/o a reason, it hurt you more than it helped. 4) DM Plothooks: If I, as a DM, can't have fun, you won't have much fun. Give me something to use, or an army of mindflayers will feast on your uninspiring brains! 5) Party Ability: Does your character play well with others? If not, I probably wouldn't allow them in my game anyways. 6) Background/Mechanics Consistency: Do I have to spell this one out? Stats tell a story, so your stats should fit in your story. 7) Entertainment: I like to read, so the big question is: Did I like to read your story? If I used your work to fall asleep at night, assume that you got a low score. Rules Use/Mechanics Best in Category: TIE: Raiser, Chief White Eagle Mechanical Errors/Shortcomings are hard to summarize, so please see the forthcoming individual comments for in depth discussions of the ups and downs of character generation... However, I will say this: Since I was looking for "growing" characters in Background, I decided to appease the power gamer in me and look for optimization in the Rules Use category. Clarity Best in Category: Kor Schtiel, Varshak First, let me make everyone nervous. I'm a certified Teacher, so I did watch spelling, punctuation, and grammar. If you see the words "red ink," try to edit a little better than you did. I controlled the urge to edit to an extreme, so it never cost you more than half a point, but if nothing else, I think projects of this size should be submitted in clear, precise English. Level-by-Level breakdowns are very NICE to have, so your score went up the less I had to search for how your character came to be. Teacher quirk again: Did you reference non-Core material? Did you give me page numbers? While I may be able to find this material, please remember that this is a public forum, so you should make it easy for beginners who read your work to find out where that neat "Frenzied Berserker" class came from. Last, but not least, I looked at how easy to read your work was. If it was messy, disorganized, or hard to understand, you lost points. Individual comments will be made available some time after I go get supper. |
| Zherog10-27-06, 06:13 PM | so you should make it easy for beginners who read your work to find out where that neat "Frenzied Berserker" class came from. Ah - thanks for reminding me. That's one thing I was surprised we didn't see. It was on my "expected" list, just like the spiked chain was. In fact, I wouldn't've been surprised to see a spike chain wielding frenzied berserker. :D |
| Endarrion10-27-06, 06:24 PM | Zherog: Yeah, I know. I don't like the LA for the hobgoblin either. I made up a varient that I'm using for a game of mine with the biggest change being no ability score penalities/bonuses. And as for the circlet of blasting, the main reason I added it was because I had a couple grand to spend after everything, I read the description and said, "Cool." After that, I thought about how good it would be for him on a tactic level because it gives him a dimension that isn't expected (ranged magical attack). TheChilliGod: I DID say what the exotic and focus feats were in by using this format- Focus(Bastard) or Exotic(Bastard) I know I forgot to put 'attack' after 'whirlwind' so you got me there. And I only listed the skills that are pertinent to him as a gladiator. It really doesn't matter if he has 5 ranks in Profession(cobbler) if it doesn't help him in the arena, but I agree that I should've gone ahead and put it in there anyway. As far as my background and whatnot goes, I wasn't really inspired to do this character. Usually that's what I wait for when creating a character: inspiration. I DM a lot (read: always) so I don't have any level 12 characters just "sitting around" waiting to be trussed up for a gladiator tourny. I should have spent some more time on him, granted, but I wanted to get him in early. And I'm glad I did because if I would've waited I wouldn't have been able to enter at all because of time restraints. Thanks to all the judges for taking the time to make sense of my entry. |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-27-06, 06:28 PM | Varshak "The Swords" Thematic Creativity: Non-Standard Race, Free Gladiator, Well Described Combat Style. All Excellent Points. Please see General Comments: Armor/Full Plate. Will anyone see you bleed? Varshak has a cool nickname, a well described fighting style, a solid character build, and is not a hapless slave to the arena. All of this built a very strong character base, but I feel as if the overall effect was high-average, not spectacular. See especially the notes on Background below for what could've helped. Rules Use/Mechanics You are a fan favorite! With a Charisma score of 9... “Speed: 20ft (hvy armor), 30ft base”: While your speed is 20ft, you should’ve noted that your armor is medium (Mithral) armor, since that affects your running speed. You didn't spend all of your skill points. You have spent 28, but you had a total of 42 available. My suggestion would be to add either Spot, Listen, and Search, or take advantage of your Racial Move Silently bonus and take some cross class ranks in stealth skills. Seriously, you did have to duck past the guards after killing your owner, so it'd be justified. Mithral Full Plate only gives you a +8 bonus to AC, not a +9 bonus. Also, your ring gives a +2 deflection bonus to AC, not a +2 unnamed “ring” bonus. Your gear value was on the dot… but I wasn’t satisfied. All you own is some magic items and a set of mithral full plate. You didn’t even buy clothes! Does that plate chafe when you’re in the ring? Background I have decided to change Varshack's nickname from "The Swords" to "Bill Goldberg." Why? I remember Goldberg's rise to fame in the WCW, and I felt like I was watching a replay in your character. Goldberg was amazing in the ring. He had some of the most powerful, explosive matches the WCW ever hosted, but... ...his personality wasn't that hot. His only quote for over a year was "Who's Next?" He never said anything else, and to a great extent, your character is the same. You've given the DM a beautiful Combat Style Description. If that was the only thing I had to grade for background, it would've been a perfect 10 for this category. You're great in the ring. Sorry, Mister Goldberg, but I need more than that. First, you killed Tandrik before you even became a champion fighter. After you win your FIRST match, you managed to drop a WARLORD. Not only is it hard to believe, but since that time (let's guess 10-11 levels), you haven't found a suitable replacement for your primary antagonist. Thus, I find you standing in the middle of the ring shouting "Who's Next?" Sorry, I've seen that act before. Clarity Best Category for You Very little "Red Ink" to worry about. Thank you. You provided a Level-by-Level breakdown for your feats, which I liked. Still, you may have done a better job if you used it to calculate your skills as well. One major question: You purchased a Defending Shortsword, but nowhere in your Fighting Style Description or Stats do you directly state that you routinely take advantage of the ability. It definately isn't added into your AC totals. Why do you have it? Meros “Oxen” Mortanius Thematic Creativity Erythnul would be proud of this entry to our competition, and there’s nothing like a gladiator ring to get the Dark Gods of Slaughter all giddy and happy… Solid overall entry, if somewhat strait-forward. I like the inclusion of Improved Sunder among your feats. That’s a quick way to make a fight come to a crashing halt. Well done in that regard. Overall, your character is high average as a gladiator. He is EFFECTIVE in the ring, but somewhat one-dimensional as a character. Playing a character on a leash that is occasionally “let go” so he can smash indiscriminately can be fun, but rarely for long. Also, see my notes under general comments on Armor and Gladiators. Rules Use/Mechanics You gave yourself a Wisdom penalty to will saves, despite having an average Wisdom. You lost it on Magic Items: Your total gear value was 142,800gp, well beyond the limits for this competition. This happened because you didn’t read the magic items section closely enough. For example, your sword is a +2 Unholy Flaming Burst Greatsword. You priced it as having 3 +2 Enhancements, at 24,350, but you should have priced it as IF it was a +6 Enhancement Sword (3 x +2 = +6), which would have given you a total of 72,350gp. You miscalculated your armor, too. Background Your background fits perfectly with your levels in the Ravager PrC, and I complement you for a job well done. I like your description of how you empowered your sword on the blade of your “dear” parents. Your character has an effective way to escape his “gladiator” status, and move on to the world at large, which makes it easy for a DM to lead him into a game. You don’t give the DM much to work with in terms of antagonists, though… Question: If you got out of the ring, why would you join a party? Could such a raging monster really work together with others? Another way to think of it: Would you want to adventure beside the character you made? You have a solid character, but I don’t necessarily think it’s a character that would last long as part of a gaming group. Clarity Your Best Category Almost no teacher “red ink” needed. Well done. You did a fine job noting your special class abilities, both Barbarian Fast Movement & Rage, as well as the Ravager special attacks. They were well detailed, and concise. Excellent work. Sorry, teacher moment: CITE YOUR SOURCES, particularly the feat Extend Rage and the item Armbands of Might. Remember, not everyone on these boards knows where to find them. |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-27-06, 06:51 PM | Raiser "The Halberd" Varden Thematic Creativity I like the character, but I have one problem: Other than the opening quote, how does this character qualify as a “Gladiator?” The connection seems weak. I do like the Non-Standard weapon specialization. I don’t know too many Halberd fanatics, but this character pulls off the specialization well. See notes on Armor and Gladiators in the General Comments Good character, but weak "Gladiator." Rules Use/Mechanics Your Best Category Skill Points, Hit Points, Saves, Feats, etc… checked out very well. Note: In armor, you have a greater penalty to Jump checks. You have a -3 Armor check penalty, but you also have an additional -6 penalty b/c of your reduced speed in the armor. Not sure how you came up with the price for MW Weaponsmithing Tools (plural), since a MW Tool (singular) in the PHB is 50gp. Background Good physical description, but one major problem: He’s a level 12 character, and there are no major NPCs in his life, helpful or antagonistic. There’s nothing for a potential DM to sink his (maniacal) teeth into. You actually ACCEPT your alignment, which I appreciate. It is often frustrating to hear the, “He doesn’t think he’s evil,” argument when the character, time and time again, commits evil acts. Well written in that regard. You only list 3 major events in your life: Watching a Halberd-master contest. Entering a Halberd-master contest and losing badly. Lying to and murdering a rebel leader. (While they show your personality, they don’t really develop much character.) This character seems like an average potential group member, but I wonder how a DM would go about motivating this character to join an adventuring group. Other than Practice makes Perfect, which he would get as a "gladiator," I don’t see how it could be done. Clarity I didn’t have to get out the teacher’s red ink. Well done. Thank you for your Level-by-Level breakdown, and for citing your sources. These are very helpful, but… …when you cite sources, make sure you cite the correct sources. The Triple Weapon Capsule Retainer, Quickflame Capsule, Quickfrost Capsule, and Quickspark Capsule are from Complete Adventurer, not Complete Warrior. :D Kor Schtiel "Steel" Thematic Creativity Your Best Category You did your homework and read up on the Gladiator material in Complete Warrior. You even modified your stats to represent those fights. Well done. You chose Light Armor w/ a lot of “flash” to it. Combine that with cool special effect weapons, and the fans must love you! Perform (Weapon Drills). Excellent choice. You even managed to get a +32 modifier to a critical skill without ACTUALLY TAKING RANKS IN IT!!!! *Pins a Power-Gamer Award Button to your shirt* WOW!!! Indentured Servant hood is a nice approach. Background fits nicely with the theme. I loved the fact that you actually owned more than one type of weapon!!! Rules Use/Mechanics First, small stuff: Every weapon in the PHB: 1984 gp, 6 sp. You spent too much b/c you bought too many quivers of arrows and cases of bolts! A traveler’s outfit is free at Character Creation, and Saddlebags cost 4gp, not 5gp. You ended up about 19gp short of your allotted money. Not bad at all. Well, I guess I should make an exception: Where did the two Masterwork Scimitars come from for your Non-buffed combat stats? They aren’t on your gear list. Are you assuming your regular scimitars in an anti-magic field? If so, why didn’t you keep your armor and use its’ non-magical stats? Your non-buffed attack bonuses were too low. They should’ve been +18/+18/+13/+13/+8 b/c the only thing you lose from your regular stats is the +1 enhancement bonus. Almost everything else checked out perfectly. HP, Saves, Basic Combat stats, etc… For the most part, very well done, and easy to follow. However, there were the skills. Watch the skills closely. I’m attaching my calculations to the skills totals so that you can see what I came up with. Watch out for Cross Class skills. They can mess you up very quickly. My Calculations in Regards to your Skills *Keeping the ranks as close as possible to your current totals* Fighter Levels: (40 skill points to spend, max ranks C: 8, cc: 4) Perform (Dance)-cc: 3 ranks (6 skill points) Tumble-cc: 4 ranks (8 skill points) Intimidate: 8 ranks (8 skill points) Ride: 1 rank (1 skill point) Jump: 5 ranks (5 skill points) Swim: 4 ranks (4 skill points) Bluff-cc: 4 ranks (8 skill points) Dervish Levels: (35 skill points to spend, max ranks C: 12, cc: 6) Perform (Dance): 9 ranks (+3 ranks as fighter, total 12 ranks/ 9 skill points) Perform (Chant): 12 ranks (12 skill points) Tumble: 9 ranks (+3 ranks as fighter, total 12 ranks/ 9 skill points) Bluff-cc: 1 rank (+4 ranks as fighter, total 5 ranks/ 2 skill points) Intimidate-cc: 1.5 ranks (+8 ranks as fighter, total 9.5 ranks/ 3 skill points) Tempest Levels: (10 skill points to spend, max ranks C: 15, cc: 7.5) Intimidate-cc: .5 ranks (+9.5 ranks as fighter/dervish, total 10 ranks/ 1 skill point) Tumble: 3 ranks (+12 ranks as fighter/dervish, total 15 ranks/ 3 skill points) Perform (Dance)-cc: 3 ranks (+12 ranks as fighter/dervish, total 15 ranks/ 6 skill points) Final totals: Bluff (5 ranks), Jump (5 ranks), Perform/Dance (15 ranks), Ride (1 rank), Swim (4 ranks), and Tumble (15 ranks) stayed the same. Intimidate: 10 ranks (not 15 ranks) Perform (Chant): 12 ranks (not 15 ranks) -Note: Still treated as 15 ranks b/c of Versatile Performer. *Perform (Weapon Drills): Stayed the same b/c of Versatile Performer. What a complicated skill! *That’s 7 ranks difference from your totals to mine. *Bear in mind the fact that a class skill is not always a class skill. If a class skill list doesn’t include a previous class skill, you must buy that skill as if it were a Cross-Class skill, even though you still get to use your Level+3 to determine your max ranks. Background From a DM’s Perspective, very good. You have several good NPC characters that a DM can easily use. And what kind of evil DM couldn’t find a way to make Darneer Goldhand interfere w/ your “budding relationship?” Your background matches your stats very well. You definitely have a strong case for below average Wisdom, which got you into the whole mess to begin with. However, I have a problem w/ your Charisma. You’re a talented performer. You’re a fan favorite. You’re even very handsome, according to your description. Where’d the average Charisma come from? I have a problem with the portion of your story where you buy slaves to set them free. While I agree that it’s in your personality to do so, you have the same gear totals as any other character at this level. If you’ve been spending money to free slaves, your gear totals should reflect that you’ve had less money to spend on yourself. I would’ve liked a more in depth description of your fighting style. I know it’s fast and risky, but how so? Let me see you in the ring. I know what your gear looks like, but not how you fight. Love the fact that you switched “styles” (read: classes) b/c your character’s attitude changed. I like organic, evolving characters. What age is Steel? If he wins his freedom, will he settle down with Angelica or seek the life he’s missed for so long? Will he still want to adventure? Btw, a quick thanks for creating a sincerely Good Guy in the midst of all these bloodthirsty barbarians. Clarity Moderate "Red Ink" issues. It would've helped if you had added Class Features and Bonus Feats to your Level-by-Level breakdown. Thank you for Citing your sources. |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-27-06, 07:15 PM | Slice (aka Purainia Tlathan) Thematic Creativity: Classic Rebellious Noble Teenager w/ a new twist! Not bad! You kept well within the notes for Armor and Gladiators from my general comments, without using any Complete Warrior source material. Nicely done. Solid combat tactics for such a small-framed warrior. See my notes on Gladiators and Magic. Spell casting and the arena are flashy, showy affairs, not healing and support magic. Thank you for taking the Improved Disarm feat. I wonder why so few people thought of such a devastating tactic in one-on-one combat? Rules Use/Mechanics: Your Best Category Most of your mechanics worked out well. Just a few notes. Boots of Striding and Springing are one of my favorite magic items of all times, simply b/c they make jump checks broken for a medium character. Since the boots improve your speed, you get a +4 unnamed bonus to jump checks and a +5 competence bonus from the boots themselves. Thus, your real total includes an additional +9, for a +22 total. My total for your gear was 87,990, not 88,000. Still, you were under, not over on your gear totals, and you came very close to the necessary value, so well done. Ring of Mind Shielding is also a very good buy for your character. You lost some points for poor optimization with this character. Namely, why did you take levels in Bard? It seems poorly justified in terms of your background and ultimately makes your character less proficient in combat. My suggestion, replace the Bard levels with extra Rogue levels along w/ Improved Feint. It would’ve saved you BAB, and upped your average damage to a more respectable level. For someone your size, any extra damage is a BIG help. You’re level 12 and attempting to maintain a separate identity. You have a +8 to rolls to maintain that character. You’ve fought enough that you’ve gained about 9 or 10 levels primarily in the ring. Guess what. If I was the GM, everyone, and I mean everyone, would know about your little “secret.” In fact, you didn’t even have a Disguise Kit in your gear. You listed your Bardic Knowledge Ability, but you didn’t give a modifier for a core class ability. Background: I enjoyed your background. I really like the “rebellious teenager” line, and you’ve managed to pull it off well. You’re character is easily introduced into an adventuring group b/c you’re an independent gladiator, and not a slave. That frees you up to participate in any activities you desire, making life much easier for the DM. You have a nice list of interesting NPCs. Your family is an excellent plot hook, and your jilted would-be suitors might also make for interesting characters in a campaign. You have a personality and a fighting style. Some people think that Gladiators are only people in a ring with a sword. You actually gave us some personality and flair for this character. You needed some names. There were lots of interesting NPCs, but no names to go with them. Even your family was “wealthy merchants.” Don’t tease the poor GM with good characters and leave them w/o critical information. The only thing vaguely Bard-like in your background was the “vigorous dancing” line right at the end. This character’s dip into Bard levels hurt it. Clarity: RED INK!!! Also, I’m going to assume you meant “Cure MODERATE Wounds,” and not “Cure Medium Wounds.” The Level by Level breakdown for classes/skills/feats was very helpful. However, I would’ve appreciated it if you had included a running total for BAB, saves, and Hit Points in this section as well. I know you listed how you spent your ranks in the L.-by-L., but I still would’ve liked it if you had listed your ranks and ability modifiers for all skills, even if the assumption was just ranks + ability. I had to spend a lot of time jumping back and forth looking to see if the information matched up. One last “teacher” quote: Cite your sources. Where did you get your +2 synergy bonus to Disable Device? It may be legitimate, but I couldn’t find it. (Note: Ok, now I know it's a circumstance bonus, but that's still a "Clarity" issue, isn't it?) Kubal, Bane of the West Thematic Creativity: I like the creation of a “public spectacle” execution style character, which was an interesting approach to this tournament. Well done. You obviously had access to Complete Warrior, but I can’t tell that you paid much attention to the Gladiatorial Combat section. While your armor COUNTS as light armor, it still covers your body like Medium Armor. Why would they let a condemned criminal wear such nice armor when they want to see him bleed. Cool Concept weapon. (See Rules Use/Clarity for some problems, however.) Rules Use/Mechanics: You did a poor job on your mechanics. There were HP total problems. There were skill total problems. There were huge gp limit issues. The Highest HP total I could calculate for this character, if you started at Level 1 Barbarian was 84, not 89. If your first level was Ranger or Fighter, your HP would be even lower. You spent way too many skill points. As written, you have spent 94 skill points. However, the highest skill point total you could have earned (starting at Ranger Level 1) would have been 84. If you started with Barbarian or Fighter, the total is even smaller. Also, on skills: Intimidate is not a class skill for a Ranger, which means that some of the 15 ranks you bought would have been cross class, either 4 or 10 skill points, depending on when you took your Ranger Levels. Your Character’s Weapon of Choice (AWESOME CONCEPT!!!) is much more expensive than you calculated. It is the equivalent of a +4 weapon, which is 32,325gp, not 18,325gp. Also, that means the weapon is too expensive by the rules of the competition. Read the magic item creation rules carefully. Other items that you miscalculated: Format: Item (Real Cost/Your Total): +1 Shortsword (2,310gp/2,100gp), Mithral Breastplate (4,200gp/1,200gp), Bullseye Lamp (12gp/30gp: Did you buy 180 pints of oil?), Traveler’s Outfit (Free at Character Creation/1gp). Your final gear value was 105,191gp, which soared past the gear limit of 88,000gp for this competition. Bracers of Armor do not stack with the Armor bonus provided from wearing armor. You would have been well served to not purchase those items. They do nothing for you. You forgot your synergy bonuses for the Jump and Tumble Skills. Also, you get a +4 bonus to Jump checks b/c of your higher than normal speed. You took Perform (Weapon Drills), I imagine, as a way of gaining bonus points for this competition. Before you take a skill, read it closely. Your modifier would actually be +19 b/c you get a circumstance bonus equal to ½ of your BAB, and a +2 bonus for each of the following feats: Weapon Focus, Combat Expertise, & Two Weapon Fighting. Two final notes on Perform (Weapon Drills): 1)Your thematic creativity went up slightly, but since you didn’t pay much attention to the rules, your overall score dropped. 2) You haven’t been a gladiator that long, so how did your character acquire such a themed skill for gladiators? You are more of a prisoner than a gladiator. Your extra language was Draconic, but I didn’t see any reason from your background to use that language. I would’ve suggested Dwarven as your bonus language based on your background. Also, I didn’t count off for this, b/c I thought the same way: You are treating the Spiked Chain as a double weapon for the purposes of Two-Weapon Fighting, but I cannot find anywhere in the PHB that says the Spiked Chain may be used as a double weapon. I thought it could, and if anyone can point out where that rule is, I would be very happy to find out, but as it stands, I believe the Spiked Chain is a two-handed weapon, not a double weapon. Background: This was your best category. The story is VERY well written. I won the previous contest with a strong First-Person Narrative, so I loved your storytelling style. You have a great story for a Level 12 character. I do have three problems, which cost you some points: 1) Your Level 1 Rogue follower stole the King’s Personal Armor from the King’s Royal Vaults? Sorry, but Level 1 Rogue + King’s Vaults = Dead Level 1 Rogue. 2) Your story is slightly more powerful than your feats/skills indicate. For example, Leadership would give you, by my calculations, at best, 8 Level 1 NPC followers. That’s not what I would call a terrifying Army. My suggestion for a more Stat-appropriate background would be Kubal, The Scythe of Anuaua, who served under a general known as the Bane of the West, and was betrayed by rival generals in that army. The back story could remain almost exactly the same, but you wouldn’t be stretching the stats a bit. 3) This character would never join an adventuring party and play D&D. Even if he escaped (unlikely), he’s be fleeing for his life, not looting dungeons. While you have a good character, he’s not “adventurer material.” Clarity: PLEASE UNDERSTAND, THIS CATEGORY IS THE ONE THAT HURT YOU THE MOST!!! I will say this, there were almost no grammatical or spelling errors, which saved me the “Red Ink” impulse that I’ve had with other entries. From the perspective of a teacher: It is clear that you messed up on a lot of rules, but what really bothers me is that I don’t know HOW you messed up. Your thinking isn’t clear in your entry. BIG PROBLEM: What class did you take first? By process of elimination, I know it’s not Fighter, but I can’t say for certain if you took Ranger or Barbarian first. If you took Ranger first, your HP are way too high, but if you took Barbarian first, your skill points are way too high. You DESPERATELY needed a Level by Level breakdown for your character. Did you realize that you have TWO Combat Gear sections? Did you know that your feats are listed in two different places? What is your Ranger’s Favored Enemy bonus? You list the enemy, but not the bonus. Please cite your sources on things like the Elusive Target and Extend Rage feats. Yes, I know where to find them, but the purpose of this competition is to serve as a character resource for people on the boards, which means you should always include references to Non-Core material. Clarity cost you a lot of points b/c I had to spend too much time trying to figure out what you were thinking. I know I sound too much like a teacher, but this has been said for years for a reason: SHOW YOUR WORK!! Chief White Eagle son of Ten Bears of the Defohy tribe Thematic Creativity: Why did you do this to me? I love this character!!! First, I am a huge fan of Kingdoms of Kalamar, but no one in my area knows the setting, so I never get to play. Let me just say, it was an immense pleasure digging into this character, and my enjoyment of the setting has only deepened as a result of your entry. Of course, that just means I’ll despise not getting to play a game even more… And then… you made an aged character, which I love!!! Your level 12, and you realized that a significant portion of the character’s life is come and gone. Well done, and congratulations for doing something that most people wouldn’t consider. However, are you really a “Gladiator?” Yes, you’ve spent some time in the ring, but you defeated those beasts without killing them. I doubt that people would chant the name White Eagle. I love your character, but I think he may have been a better entry in Hero Craftsman #2: Divine Servent. Rules Use/Mechanics: You were one gold piece off on the price of your shortspear. At first, your skill points seemed odd, but then I calculated them with adjustments based on age, and I think I understand how you came to your totals. If I calculated correctly, you didn’t get the aging bonuses to your Intelligence until after Level 6. They worked out exactly when I made the adjustment at that point. (Complex mathematics… you made me think!! Again, thank you!) Still, you might have noted it somewhere so I could’ve spent less time deciphering the mystery. You listed some of your skills as cross class, but not all of them. Knowledge Religion and Sense Motive are both Cross Class skills for your character. I held off on going higher on your Rules Use score for two reasons: 1) You didn’t optimize this character to a high level, and he wouldn’t have a solid “role” in an adventuring party. 2) You didn’t buy up to the “Standard” gear level (and I understand why), and I feel as if that saved you some math that you might otherwise have had to wrestle with. On the magic items (which were well described), I would like to make a few suggestions, so that your gear total could have been higher. 1) Further enchant the spear w/ basic enhancement bonuses to reflect your increasing bond w/ the spirits. 2) Consider some bricks of Incense of Meditation. Very appropriate for a tribal character, and very useful for a spell caster. 3) A Bag of Tricks can be a fun way to cause trouble and summon aid. Background: Your Best Category Hey, I’m biased; I love Kalamar. You really entrenched your character in his home world, and gave him a back story worth reading. As a DM, you have given him a variety of allies, enemies, and “uncertain” NPCs to deal with in his life. He also has a lot of “civilization” mentality conflict. Can he really understand what he’s being forced to deal with? This is all good DM material. You showed me what he looks like, literally! That’s worth a lot in my book! Excellent! Best magic item descriptions, period. My only problem here is this: Why would this character join an adventuring party? As I’ve noted earlier, he isn’t optimized to the point that he could fill a role, and his age is certainly a hindrance. How could he get involved with a family at his side? Clarity: On one hand, you did a fantastic job of explaining unusual class features and noting the source for most of your material. It was easy for me to figure out where everything came from… But, your spells were lacking: What spells does he usually “retrieve?” How does he use his magic in combat? Does he buff or blast? Does he hinder enemies or aid allies? What’s the save DC for his spells? The spells were not well expanded on, and it left what I’m assuming to be a critical portion of his character sheet rather empty. Also, as I’ve said, you really needed to give us a break down of how you spent your skills since there were so many aging issues with this character. |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-27-06, 07:21 PM | And that, as they say, is that! You now have the full range of my eccentric, nit-picking glory to dig through. I only hope that you can see past the over-thick negative comments and realize that I'm honestly trying to help you in learning to master the character generation process. Also, I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Thank you for all the entries! My negative, nit-picking comments aside, they were fantastic. |
| Endarrion10-27-06, 07:48 PM | JasonOrlandoHawk: I just had to nitpick something here: "You didn’t even buy clothes! Does that plate chafe when you’re in the ring?" -what you posted about my hob not having bought clothes "A traveler’s outfit is free at Character Creation" -what you posted in Kor's overview. So did I have to include things he owns but didn't buy? That just seems confusing. I assumed everyone knew he'd be wearing clothes under his armor, but now, maybe that's a good plot hook... "Hobgoblin gladiator goes on rampage looking for stolen clothes. More at 11." |
| Zherog10-27-06, 08:08 PM | Did you realize that you have TWO Combat Gear sections? Did you know that your feats are listed in two different places? Those are actually a function of the stat block, not a mistake. Up in the "combat" section of the stat block is a section called "Combat gear." The idea is that any single use or charged items the character owns that could be used in combat go here, to make them easier to find. Then, at the bottom of the stat block, is a "Possessions" section. The first "item" that gets listed here is "Combat gear" and it's meant to say, "All that stuff up there." On the feats, the new stat block format lists a lot of feats twice. For example, if you have Dodge and Mobility, they get mentioned on your AC line, but also get mentioned on the feats line. In the case of this character, he has several feats (Power Attack, Two-Weapon Fighting, etc) that get listed under Combat options. The section is just that - little tricks the character can do during combat; it's there to serve as a reminder of what those things are, so the DM doesn't forget. :) |
| Heros_Backpack10-27-06, 09:50 PM | A Gold Medal? WOW! What a wonderful sight to come home to! :cloud9: (Climbing down off those clouds) Slice was originally a background character for one of my actual characters and I was in a hurry to send her in before I went away. I needed the creation practice since I mostly play in low-level campaigns. Thanks for the comments too. Next time I will try to remember that Maths is not my strong point. :embarrass :embarrass Note to self: Find that calculator! Use it! |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-27-06, 10:21 PM | I stand corrected in regards to the new "Stat Block," and thus amend all previous statements so that they say: "Since the new stat block confuses me, do you realize...?" As for the clothes: Mentioning that clothes are free at Character Gen is a way of pointing out that 1gp was spent, when it didn't need to be spent. Also, my comment in regards to Varshak was an attempt to ask, humorously, "Where's the mundane gear?" There's no record of you owning any basic items: bedroll, backpack, lantern, paper, a mount, a dagger, etc... I just chose the clothes b/c that was the funniest example. I have trapped many of my players, who all owned really expensive equipment, when they realized they didn't have a rope to climb down (a cliff, wall, etc...). It was my way of pointing out the value of the often overlooked mundane gear section. In fact, I have accomplished more with the "Bottle of Fine Wine: 10gp" in my role-playing career than any other item written up in D&D, ever. Also, gear value is not the value of everything you've bought, but everything you own. A thief who steals a magical ring from a Wizard may not have bought the ring, but you would still count it as part of his gear ("treasure") for purposes of determining if they had the correct amount for their level. AND, I believe that I shall run a story involving a rampaging hobgoblin who is looking for their stolen clothes... |
| Kit_the_Odd10-27-06, 11:32 PM | Perform (Weapon Drills). Excellent choice. You even managed to get a +32 modifier to a critical skill without ACTUALLY TAKING RANKS IN IT!!!! *Pins a Power-Gamer Award Button to your shirt* WOW!!! Actually, that should be an Accidental Power-Gamer Pin. I'll admit to using the Versitile Performer feat here to gain 'ranks', but most of that extra wasn't part of my thoughts when I did it. Once I went back and re-read the skill description my thoughts went something like..."Cool, another +2, and another, and another, and ... what the freaking heck?!? ... +32?!?. That's crazy!" Where did the two Masterwork Scimitars come from for your Non-buffed combat stats? They aren’t on your gear list. Are you assuming your regular scimitars in an anti-magic field? If so, why didn’t you keep your armor and use its’ non-magical stats? Ummm, good question. They are ... ummm ... supplied by the arena? Your non-buffed attack bonuses were too low. They should’ve been +18/+18/+13/+13/+8 b/c the only thing you lose from your regular stats is the +1 enhancement bonus. Actually when I looked at this, I realized we were both wrong. I do lose the +1 enhancement, but I get a +1 from the masterwork, which I forgot. I also lose the +2 from the Gloves of Dexterity through Weapon Finesse. I may not have been clear enough that "unenhanced' meant NO magic though, so that is understandable. So they should be +17/+17/+12/+12/+7. *Keeping the ranks as close as possible to your current totals* Fighter Levels: (40 skill points to spend, max ranks C: 8, cc: 4) Perform (Dance)-cc: 3 ranks (6 skill points) Tumble-cc: 4 ranks (8 skill points) Intimidate: 8 ranks (8 skill points) Ride: 1 rank (1 skill point) Jump: 5 ranks (5 skill points) Swim: 4 ranks (4 skill points) Bluff-cc: 4 ranks (8 skill points) Dervish Levels: (35 skill points to spend, max ranks C: 12, cc: 6) Perform (Dance): 9 ranks (+3 ranks as fighter, total 12 ranks/ 9 skill points) Perform (Chant): 12 ranks (12 skill points) Tumble: 9 ranks (+3 ranks as fighter, total 12 ranks/ 9 skill points) Bluff-cc: 1 rank (+4 ranks as fighter, total 5 ranks/ 2 skill points) Intimidate-cc: 1.5 ranks (+8 ranks as fighter, total 9.5 ranks/ 3 skill points) Tempest Levels: (10 skill points to spend, max ranks C: 15, cc: 7.5) Intimidate-cc: .5 ranks (+9.5 ranks as fighter/dervish, total 10 ranks/ 1 skill point) Tumble: 3 ranks (+12 ranks as fighter/dervish, total 15 ranks/ 3 skill points) Perform (Dance)-cc: 3 ranks (+12 ranks as fighter/dervish, total 15 ranks/ 6 skill points) Final totals: Bluff (5 ranks), Jump (5 ranks), Perform/Dance (15 ranks), Ride (1 rank), Swim (4 ranks), and Tumble (15 ranks) stayed the same. Intimidate: 10 ranks (not 15 ranks) Perform (Chant): 12 ranks (not 15 ranks) -Note: Still treated as 15 ranks b/c of Versatile Performer. *Perform (Weapon Drills): Stayed the same b/c of Versatile Performer. What a complicated skill! *That’s 7 ranks difference from your totals to mine. OK, here's the actual totals. I'll try to include these in the submission next time, I'm sure it will make things easier. Skill ranks from Fighter Levels: (40 pts) Bluff 2-cc, Intimidate 8, Jump 5, Perf(dance) 5-cc, Ride 1, Swim 4, Tumble 4-cc. Skill ranks from Dervish Levels: add to Fighter (35 pts) Bluff 3-cc, Intimidate 5-cc, Perform(dance) 8, Perform(weap.drill) 1, Perform(chant) 1, Tumble 9. Skill ranks from Tempest Levels: add to previous. (10 pts) Intimidate 2-cc, Perf(dance) 2-cc, Tumble 2. There are two problems I see. First is that I have too many ranks in Perf(dance) from my Fighter levels, I should only have 4. The other is that when I wrote my skills down in my submission I didn't include the rank I put into the other 2 Perform skills, I only wrote down the virtual ranks from Versitile Performer. I put those ranks in because I kind of felt bad that I had '15 ranks' in a skill I didn't really have ANY ranks in, so I put a single rank into each. I could fix this by ditching a rank of Perf(dance) in the Fighter levels and picking it back up in the Dervish levels by ditching the ranks in the other Perform skills. This would even give me an additional 3 skill points (2 Fighter and 1 Dervish) to use elsewhere. And I'd like to appolgize for forgetting to put that the ranks in Perf(chant) were from my feat. I'm sure that caused no end of confusion. |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-28-06, 12:32 AM | Ummm, good question. They are ... ummm ... supplied by the arena? :clap: Good Answer! |
| Zherog10-28-06, 12:34 AM | So, I checked my copy of Complete Adventurer this evening to triple-check the tempest's saves, and one of two things is going on. 1) Gremlins snuck into my house and changed it last night right before I looked it, then changed it back when I went to bed. 2) I can't read. I personally prefer option #1, but take your pick. :blush: |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-28-06, 01:07 AM | So, I checked my copy of Complete Adventurer this evening to triple-check the tempest's saves, and one of two things is going on. 1) Gremlins snuck into my house and changed it last night right before I looked it, then changed it back when I went to bed. 2) I can't read. I personally prefer option #1, but take your pick. :blush: Darn Gremlins... :rolleyes: |
| Haruspex10-28-06, 01:36 AM | How could I have missed that??!! Two paragraphs of backstory and I forgot to say how he became a gladiator. Admittedly I was a bit wary of having a long and pointless backstory but I can see where some background would have been useful. JasonOrlandoHawk: About the capsules, that's what you get when you have more than one book that starts with "Complete". Despite coming fourth out of seven I can now see where I went wrong and thank the judges for their even-handedness and helpful comments. Congrats to Heros_Backpack for the win. |
| JasonOrlandoHawk10-28-06, 11:53 AM | Zera the Cruel (Disqualified for editing after the time limit) Thematic Creativity I like the visual image of Death wearing Full Plate marching around the ring slaughtering people. I was disappointed when you got disqualified, b/c your character was still one of the coolest concepts brought forward. See Notes on Armor and Gladiators in my General Comments. Excellent Weapon. I love the Scythe! Battle Quotes are Fun! You only have two spells on your spell list that are in keeping with the section of Spells and Gladiators: Insect Plague & Blade Barrier. Then again, it's hard to make the Cleric Spell List Flashy. Your healing spells would probably not be allowed in the Gladiatorial Ring. Rules Use/Mechanics Fair Warning, I did not look at this in depth b/c of the disqualification, so I may have missed some important stuff. You seem to have messed up your skills. You should've had 45 skill points. (1st Level: 12 skill points. Other levels: 3 skill points/level x11 levels = 33 skill points, total 45 skill points) You have only spent 30 skill points. You do not meet the prerequisites for your Sudden Quicken Metamagic feat. You have a -1 penalty from Dex to your AC, your Full Plate only gives a +8 bonus to AC (not +12), and your shield only has a +3 bonus to AC (not +5), which means I think you calculated your AC based on your Spell Buff stats. You should have listed them seperately. Background No physical description. Only a vague "combat style" description, which must be drawn from your Battle Quotes. No family. No friends. No major antagonist. See my quotes in regards to Bill Goldberg, err umm... I mean Varshak "The Swords." You needed a lot more to make this a Character. That being said, your one paragraph is an excellent start, you just needed about 5 or 6 paragraphs more. I'm not sure about your Lawful Evil alignment. You didn't give me enough information to determine wether or not Lawful is appropriate since you gave such a short Background and Rage is typically a Chaotic trait. Clarity You say that his () stats are Spell Buff stats, but you don't list which spells. Sure, I can figure it out, most of it by looking, but it helps if you spell it out. What is the Save DC for your offensive spells? RED INK issue! Sorry, but see quote below: "What did I tell you! You cannot kill Rage!" [gloat] Correct punctuation: "What did I tell you? You cannot kill Rage!" [gloat] |
| Far_Traveler10-28-06, 11:59 PM | Zera the Cruel (Disqualified for editing after the time limit) Thematic Creativity I like the visual image of Death wearing Full Plate marching around the ring slaughtering people. I was disappointed when you got disqualified, b/c your character was still one of the coolest concepts brought forward. See Notes on Armor and Gladiators in my General Comments. Excellent Weapon. I love the Scythe! Battle Quotes are Fun! You only have two spells on your spell list that are in keeping with the section of Spells and Gladiators: Insect Plague & Blade Barrier. Then again, it's hard to make the Cleric Spell List Flashy. Your healing spells would probably not be allowed in the Gladiatorial Ring. Rules Use/Mechanics Fair Warning, I did not look at this in depth b/c of the disqualification, so I may have missed some important stuff. You seem to have messed up your skills. You should've had 45 skill points. (1st Level: 12 skill points. Other levels: 3 skill points/level x11 levels = 33 skill points, total 45 skill points) You have only spent 30 skill points. You do not meet the prerequisites for your Sudden Quicken Metamagic feat. You have a -1 penalty from Dex to your AC, your Full Plate only gives a +8 bonus to AC (not +12), and your shield only has a +3 bonus to AC (not +5), which means I think you calculated your AC based on your Spell Buff stats. You should have listed them seperately. Background No physical description. Only a vague "combat style" description, which must be drawn from your Battle Quotes. No family. No friends. No major antagonist. See my quotes in regards to Bill Goldberg, err umm... I mean Varshak "The Swords." You needed a lot more to make this a Character. That being said, your one paragraph is an excellent start, you just needed about 5 or 6 paragraphs more. I'm not sure about your Lawful Evil alignment. You didn't give me enough information to determine wether or not Lawful is appropriate since you gave such a short Background and Rage is typically a Chaotic trait. Clarity You say that his () stats are Spell Buff stats, but you don't list which spells. Sure, I can figure it out, most of it by looking, but it helps if you spell it out. What is the Save DC for your offensive spells? RED INK issue! Sorry, but see quote below: "What did I tell you! You cannot kill Rage!" [gloat] Correct punctuation: "What did I tell you? You cannot kill Rage!" [gloat] Okay, now for my Responses: Sudden Quicken: I do not accually have any book besides core, sorry about that. This is also the purpose behind my lack of weapon drill and typical gladitorial rules. Armor/Shield miscalculations: Magic vestment lasts hours :D, probably still should of followed that advice Skills: My bad, I kind of wish I had a better race. Story: Never been quite my strong suit, I'm a man of ideas, not of knowledge or detail. Lawful: Yes, he is lawful, he does not rage himself, he has a method to his fighting style, he channels rage, and he believes law is the means to do so, so as to not be lost. I picture him like Saix from KHII, orderly, with the occasional burst of brutal savagery. Probably should of said that. Theme: Thanks! As I have said, I am a man of ideas, and I expected to score high on this, if not others. |
| Zherog10-29-06, 01:30 AM | I should have my comments for your entry done tomorow, FT. But to build on something here: Story: Never been quite my strong suit, I'm a man of ideas, not of knowledge or detail. In my opinion, that's one of the cool things about this contest. First, you get to see how others whip up a background for a character. Second, you get feedback from fellow posters (judges or otherwise) about your background. Don't stop there, though. Read the comments about other entries. You'll get lots of tips about a good background. I don't ever require lengthy backgrounds from my PCs. While I might be a writer, I'm accutely aware that not all my players are. As long as you - as a player - give me something to work with to build part of the campaign around you, I'm satisfied. Don't give me just one hook, though. That gets boring. Give me several things. Some points to consder: Family friends enemies goals what did you do with your life before you were an adventurer? (if you're higher than 1st level) Briefly describe some things you've done Filling in those sorts of blanks should help you when it comes to writing backgrounds. Hopefully these contests help, too. :) |
| jennibert10-29-06, 12:40 PM | Wow, I feel like a bad judge, looking at everyone else's comments and whatnot, and not even posting mine.....I will try to post them. Hopefully my own computer will be on the net soon and I'll be off this laptop on its $%##$% crate. Anyway....good job everyone:) I know I already said that at least once, but it bears repeating:) |
| AmericanYeti10-29-06, 03:23 PM | When is the next competition and do you know what it's going to be on? |
| Zherog10-29-06, 04:13 PM | It will be posted Friday sometime, and we won't be announcing the topic until then. That way nobody has an unfair advantage. Well, that and we haven't decided on it yet. |
| FRRC10-29-06, 05:11 PM | Assassin? Adventuring Merchant? Spartan? Someone-who-treasures-the-possessions-of-others (SWTTPOO)? Barbarian Cheiftan? The Party Surgeon? Travelling Emporer? A failed Spellcaster? The Tyrant? The addict? The Hero? Can't think of anymore :) |
| DarthLoser11-03-06, 07:28 PM | Just a nitpick, Kubal's mother is still alive, assumedly. Hope I didn't get points off for that, because that could be kind of interesting. And I figured that the followers were just his best soldiers, not all of them. You can still have people following your banner who aren't followers, I think. I still probably would have lost, but not as badly. I need to work on proofreading. |