Post/Author/DateTime	Post
TheChilliGod 09-14-06, 07:59 PM	Welcome to the second Hero Craftsmen contest, where you make a character and get it voted on according to all its facets by our judges, to see who can make the best character! Some of you may remember last competition, or at least the first round which ran this year on March through April. Unfortunately, the founder of the competition Doopliss has left the forums, so those left behind have picked up the mess and decided to move on by ourselves. While the first Hero Craftsmen contest was a no-holds-barred event, this time we've decided to make the competition more challenging and exciting, by including themes to each competition for you contestants to base your submissions around. You may also note that the "Round 2" that we never got around to last competition, has been removed. Several other rules have also been added or changed, so please review the Rules to inform yourself of these changes. This time, our chosen theme is (as indicated by the thread's title): Divine Servant. As the great ranger from Faerûn, Montolio DeBrouchee, once said, "Your god is your heart," so anyone that goes where his heart leads him can be said to be a Divine Servant of sorts. This could mean anything from a devout preacher, to a follower of the calls of Nature, to a paladin and his adherence to virtue, the Chosen One of a deity, or even simply a warrior that follows zealously his own personal code. The choice is yours. The required level for this competition is 7th level, which gives each character 19,000gp to spend on magic items and equipment, with no more than 6333gp to be spent on any one item. Contest Rules The following are rules for the Hero Craftsmen competition, and are subject to change at any time between competition periods. Do note that the Code of Conduct is in effect for all aspects of this contest, and those who break it will be disqualified, and may get a stern warning from a WizO. 1) All entries must be submitted with a complete stat block of any format or length, (so long as the stat block is complete, including content like equipment, skills, special abilities etc.) accompanied by a character background also of any format or length. 2) All entries must be submitted by the date and time given by the Coordinating Judge; any entries submitted late will not be judged but they are still allowed to be commented on by other users/judges, and may provide a valuable resource to other players out there. The time given for any competition is likely to be within 2-3 weeks; the exact times and dates will be stated by the Coordinating Judge during the contest's start. 3) After submitting an entry, a 15-minute grace period is allowed to edit your work, in the case of mechanical or formatting errors, typos, and the like. Editing your work after 15 minutes is considered breaking the rules. Hence, we urge you to revise your entry throughly prior to submitting it, to save hassle. 4) One Entry Per Contestant, and that creator must be the submitter (IE-all work has to be original, and not stolen from someone else.) Also, do not post an entry if you do not want it to be officially judged. 5) At the start of each competition, the coordinating judge will state a single theme around which to base your entry. There are no restrictions based on the character theme itself; it is merely a suggested guideline, but following it in a creative and interesting way will give merit to your entry. 6) There are other restrictions, however; The use of Psionics, Item Creation rules, Epic Characters, and anything else in the Official SRD (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=d20/article/srd35), as well as the Complete Warrior, Complete Divine, Complete Arcane and Complete Adventurer supplements is allowed. Anything else is forbidden as of yet, including any variant rules as described in Unearthed Arcana. 7) Additionally, the character must be created with the recommended character wealth as discussed in the DMG (note that you may not spend more than 1/3 of your entry's total wealth on any one item), with average hit points per hit die (eg-2.5hp for d4, 3.5hp for d6, 4.5hp for d8, 5.5hp for d10, 6.5hp for d12; Max hit points at 1st level), using the 28 point-buy system, as discussed in the DMG pg169. For those who do not have access to the DMG, the following sample arrays of scores have been set up for your convenience: 18, 14, 12, 10, 8, 8 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10 8) One special rule regarding Crafting: When (and only when) crafting a magic item for your character, the gp cost is 75% of the market price of the item (instead of 50%), and the xp cost is 0, for purposes of this contest. This is to represent that your character may have bought an item prior to crafting it, and the experience that he spent evens out to the required level for the competition. 9) Judges reserve the right to disqualify entries that do not follow the above rules, as they see fit. Scoring Points will be awarded for how well the judges think the character is made and expanded on. Entries from each of the judges will be added up to give a final score. The highest-scoring entry will win gold, second-highest silver, third-highest bronze. The judges may also give a single entry each one bonus point for whatever reason; this bonus point is merely to make out an 'honorable mention' of the competition, and is not likely to make an impact on the results themselves. The judges are expected to be very stingy about their bonus point, meaning that it is possible for no entries to get one. Additionally, the judges reserve the right to post comments on entries, and any contestant may ask to have their scoring (and/or comments) sent to them via PM. Each entry will be scored according to four categories: Thematic Creativity (10 points), Background Content (10 marks), Rules Use (10 points), and Clarity (5 points), for a total of 35 points. -Thematic Creativity is a measure of how well the entry fits with the theme of the contest, decided by the coordinating judge at the start of the competition. It is also a measure of how creative the entry is when fitting in with the theme, meaning that taking the most obvious class for the theme may or may not be the best idea. -Background Content measures how well-written the background of the entry is, and how creative it is. Including plot points, events that shaped your character, and so on, will earn you high points here. -Rules Use is based on how well your character is made mechanically, as well as for how well your entry follows the RAW. Is his attack bonus correct? Has she spent all her skill points? Is all the gold in the sheet accounted for? And the like. Powerful characters will earn at least some points in this category. -Clarity is a measure of how well we can read everything. This includes correct grammar (No leet über txt), and legibility of the entry's stat block. We want to be able to find what we need to judge the entry. Hints to Help -This is not a competition to see who can make the most optimized character. It is a competition to find who can create the most creative and interesting character; one that you would love to see played in a gaming group. Of course, optimized characters can still be creative and interesting, but optimization is not the sole focus of the competition. -Please consider your format before submitting an entry. As judges, we want to know exactly where you got that +3 in Tumble, or how you've laid out your ability scores. If we are helped in this endeavor, it reduces the chances of us (as well as you) making mistakes, and points may be earned for Clarity. For example, you could lay out your modifiers to everything, from AC to Skills to Abilities. If your +3 in Tumble came from 3 ranks, 13 dexterity and a check penalty of -1, point it out to us. If your Strength score of 16 comes from a base of 13, a +2 racial bonus, and a +1 boost at fourth level, point it out to us. Also, gold is a big hassle, so if you show how much everything costs, it saves us the trouble of going IRS on you. Consider including a chart or something that shows the complete level build-up of your entry, incase of cross-class skills, stacking class features and other such stuff that would be otherwise difficult for us judges to detect. -Backgrounds are very important in this competition, worth at least 10 points. While your entry's background doesn't have to be literary genius, you are advised to cover at least the basic stuff, like parents, friends, homeland, motivation, behavior, and at least one plot point that a DM can latch onto, among others. In this case, covering most or all of the aspects of a character is more advisable than simply focusing on one or two aspects in great detail. Don't worry, though, length is generally not an issue for us judges. -Our list of Eligible Judges are Doopliss (who started Hero Craftsmen), The Chilli God, and Zherog (as the first supporting judges of the competition), and jennibert (as the first gold-medal winner). The gold-medal winner of each Hero Craftsmen competition will be added to this list as a prize; after each competition, we will seek volunteers for the next contest from the list until we have three judges. It is a voluntary thing, so if you (as a recent gold-medal winner) feel uncomfortable with judging, or just don't have the time, that's fine with us. Our judges for this contest will be TheChilliGod, Zherog and jennibert; TheChilliGod will be our coordinating judge. This contest starts at midnight on Friday the 15th of September (GMT), and is due to end at midnight on Friday the 29th of September (GMT), giving you a full fortnight to enter your characters. Finally, best of luck to all entries. :)
TheChilliGod 09-14-06, 07:59 PM	Grand List of Entries -Nail Trollard (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=10130329&postcount=11), Submitted by Martryn -Milo Tosscobble (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=10202717&postcount=24), Submitted by JasonOrlandoHawk -Gredand Forge (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=10215581&postcount=29), Submitted by Mercurius -Kennis Vedelia (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=10215639&postcount=30), Submitted by Kit_the_Odd
TheChilliGod 09-14-06, 08:00 PM	FAQ Q: Can I use different campaign settings (Eg-Forgotten Realms) as the base setting of my entry's background? A: That's fine, we have no problems with material from other settings in backgrounds only. Just, no mechanical material from other settings in your entry's stat block, and if you could explain any vague references that we might not catch, it would help us as well. Q: When you say midnight, what do you really mean? A: I mean when the time is 00:00 of the day that we stated. Also remember that all times are in GMT.
Zherog 09-15-06, 03:55 PM	:bump:
jennibert 09-16-06, 11:37 PM	:bump:
HappyDragon 09-17-06, 04:08 PM	Oooooooo, shiny. *grumbles*. As much as I'd like to enter something this time around, things are kinda busy right now so there simply may not be time. In case enough time does pop up I do have one question. I understand rule wise we can't use things from campaign specific settings, but if we simply used the world as the backdrop for the character would that be ok? ..eg. a 7th level fighter from Eberron that only uses the mechanics of the SRD, but their backstory and all flavourful stuff is from Eberron. That's about it for now. Cheers.
jennibert 09-17-06, 08:50 PM	I understand rule wise we can't use things from campaign specific settings, but if we simply used the world as the backdrop for the character would that be ok? ..eg. a 7th level fighter from Eberron that only uses the mechanics of the SRD, but their backstory and all flavourful stuff is from Eberron. That is fine. We have no problems with gods from other settings, though if it's a little known or homebrew setting, please include a brief description of the tenets of the god so we'll know what we'll dealing with. Hope you have the time! We look forward to having your entry!
psionichamster 09-17-06, 09:06 PM	well, got my character all designed up, now i just gotta sit down and come up with a decent character sketch and background for him. for ease of use (and to increase the number of entries at the site), check out DMTools.org (http://www.dmtools.org)) namaste' the hamster
Zherog 09-18-06, 12:47 PM	Just to follow up on what Jenni said... You can use any deity (or philosophy) you want, and your character can be from literally anywhere. Don't assume we know details about those places, people, and things, though. For example, picking an Eberron god without giving us a little bit of information about him/her/it could hurt your score in Thematic Creativity and/or Rules Use. On TC, if we don't know how well your character serves the deity you picked, your score will suffer; on rules use, if we can't determine if your cleric (for example) has the proper domains and so on, your score will suffer. These contests serve three main purposes. They're fun! Or at least, they should be. They allow a bunch of folks to share ideas and concepts, which helps make all of us better at making fun, playable, robust characters. The entries can provide inspiration to somebody else who was struggling to come up with a cool character for his or her next game. Especially remember the first: have fun. :)
jennibert 09-19-06, 12:19 PM	Well, as this has fallen to the second page....:bump:
Martryn 09-19-06, 09:22 PM	Well, I've never entered into anything like this before, so if I'm doing something wrong don't hesitate to tell me so I can be better next time. Here's my entry: Nail Trollard, male human cleric 3 (Kelemvor)/necromancer 3/mystic theurge 1: Medium Humanoid (human); HD 3d8+4d4-7; hp 19; Init +1 (Dex); Spd 30 ft.; AC 13 (bracers +2, Dex +1), touch 11, flat-footed 12; Base Atk +3, Grp +3; Atk or Full Atk +4 melee (1d6/x2, masterwork quarterstaff) or +4 ranged touched (by spell) or +3 touch (by spell); SA spells, turn undead 4/day; SQ raven familiar (named Erim, speaks infernal); AL LN; SV Fort +3 (+4 base, -1 Con) Ref +3 (+2 base, +1 Dex) Will +11 (+8 base, +3 Wis); Str 10 (+2 base), Dex 12 (+4 base), Con 8 (base), Int 18 (+10 base, +2 headband), Wis 16 (+8 base, + 1 4th level), Cha 12 (+4 base). Skills: Diplomacy +7 (6 ranks, + 1 Cha), Heal +9 (6 ranks, +3 Wis), Knowlege (arcane) +14 (10 ranks, +4 Int), Knowledge (the planes) +9 (5 ranks, +4 Int), Knowledge (religion) +14 (10 ranks, +4 Int), Perform (storytelling) +3 (2 ranks, +1 Cha, cross-classed), Profession (lawyer) +7 (4 ranks, +3 Wis), Spellcraft +19 (10 ranks, +4 Int, +2 synergy bonus, +3 feat), Survival +9 (+11 on other planes, +2 synergy bonus) (6 ranks, +3 Wis). Feats: Scribe Scroll (Wiz 1), Track (1st), Spell Focus (necromancy, enchantment) (Human, 6th), Alertness (familiar), Skill Focus (Spellcraft) (3rd). Languages: Common, Infernal, Elven, Goblin. Cleric Spells Prepared (caster level 4th): 0-create water, light, mending, purify food and drink, read magic; 1st-bless water, death watch, detect undead, hide from undead (DC 14), longstrider*; 2nd-consecrate, death knell* (DC 16), gentle repose, spiritual weapon *: Domain spell. Domains: Death (death touch 1/day), Travel (survival becomes class skill, Freedom of Movement 1/day/cleric level for one round). Wizard Spells Prepared (caster level 4th; prohibited schools conjuration, transmutation); 0-disrupt undead (2), prestidigitation, read magic, touch of fatigue (DC 15); 1st-alarm, cause fear (DC 16), chill touch (DC 16), ray of enfeeblement, sleep (DC 16); 2nd-blindness/deafness (DC 17), false life, ghoul touch (DC 17), scare (DC 17). Spellbook: as above plus 0-all except conjuration and transmutation; 1st- protection from chaos, Tenser's floating disk, true strike; 2nd-command undead, protection from arrows. Possessions: bracer of armor +2 (4,000 gp), wand of cure moderate wounds (50 charges) (4,500 gp), headband of intellect +2 (4,000 gp), slippers of spider climb (4,800 gp), wand of detect magic (375 go), elixer of hiding (250 gp), masterwork quarterstaff (600 gp), 5 lbs silver dust (spell component) (25 gp), pouch containing 45 pp (450 gp). Nail grew up in the church under the supervision of his father, a high priest of Kelemvor. Becoming trained in hunting undead, Nail studied the necromatic arts to better understand the enemy of his god, The Lord of the Dead, and use the power of necromancy to destroy the waking dead. From a young age Nail accompanied parties of clerics and paladins of Kelemvor to sites of undead infestation and has become quite comfortable in his role as a slayer of the slain. Also, having been raised in a clergy that dealt in the affairs of the recently departed, Nail became experienced in attending to the legal issues of the deceased and telling their stories so as they might not be so easily forgotten. At the age of 18, Nail was made a full cleric of Kelemvor and for three years tasked with overseeing the training of his younger sister, League, who passed on the clergy to become a ranger that specialized in hunting undead. The two journeyed for three years in the vicinity of the temple, inacting wills, fighting illness and disease, and sitting next to many a deathbed. Occasionally they would be called upon to join a strike team to help kill a few zombies or stop a rampaging giant in the area, and once the two personally dealt with a trio of ghouls that had taken up residence in a cemetary of a small fishing village. Nail is currently spending several years spreading the word of Kelemvor to remote areas, stepping in and overseeing funerals and executions where needed and making note of all rumors of undead he hears. Nail stands 6'1" tall, with straight black hair cut short and tied in a top knot. His eyes are blue, a trait inherited from his father. A young man of 22 years of age, Nail is still very much in the prime of his life. He realizes this, and though serious when it comes to the affairs of the dead, he is quite flirtatious with just about anything else that is remotely attractive. Though not good aligned, Nail isn't a bad person, and comes across very sincere and serious while serving his god, though he has been known to flee towns in a hurry if in terrible danger, either from a powerful lich, or the father of a young maid recently deflowered. But enemies beware, Nail has fled from powerful undead before only to return in a few short weeks at the head of a strike team of clerics and paladins of Kelemvor. A quiet and intuitive man (unless he's trying to woo a maiden) Nail doesn't back down from his promises, and he never forgets the names and faces of his enemies, both those he's killed, and those he hasn't. He is a free spirit, and wanders where the road takes him, hoping to catch whiff of where his services might be needed. As cleric of Kelemvor, Nail is not against killing those who have ideas radically opposed to Kelemvor's, though he has stayed his hand many a time when he felt that Kelemvor was not ready to accept certain souls. In combat, Nail prepares himself by casting false life, then summons a spiritual weapon to fight for him. He takes down stronger enemies first using ray of enfeeblement and having his raven familiar, Erim, deliver a ghoul touch for him. Lesser foes are dealt with using scare, cause fear, and sleep. Nail keeps his eye open for a chance to use both his death touch vs. badly injured foes, and death knell against those he has dropped. Nail prefers to prepare against undead, and usually scouts the situation using his current spell selection before choosing spells that can help him more specifically. Nothing scares him more than the idea of being slain by an undead creature to rise as a spawn himself, so while not timid in his pursuit of undeath, he is cautious. He also fears any means which might magically bind his soul after life and prevent him from joining Kelemvor in death. After battle, Nail spends an inordinate amount of time burying his foes. He is never in such a hurry that he can't give them at least a rushed ceremony. If he knows the foes name, and perhaps his base of operations, Nail makes as many preparations as possible to get the body home to loved ones. He casts gentle repose to keep bodies fresh, and gathers the valuables together, keeping only a small portion of the dead's total possessions as a tithe to Kelemvor. Anonymous dead are stripped of all but what Nail figures are their most prized possessions, which Nail buries along with the body.
Zherog 09-21-06, 10:15 PM	Heh. I forgot to subscribe last time I posted. Pay no attention to the judge behind the curtain... And remember, kids - don't try this at home! :D
jennibert 09-23-06, 05:27 PM	Any other takers? While I'm sure Martryn wouldn't mind a medal, winning by default is less fun. Less than a week left.....
Mercurius 09-24-06, 10:16 AM	I'd love to enter, but I'm engaged to jennibert, so there might be a conflict of interest. Let me know if I can enter or not.
Zherog 09-24-06, 11:13 AM	I see no problem; scores will be averaged together - so if your entry sucks, Jenni's gonna have a hard time overcoming the bad scores Chilli and I give you. :)
jennibert 09-24-06, 11:49 AM	I see no problem; scores will be averaged together - so if your entry sucks, Jenni's gonna have a hard time overcoming the bad scores Chilli and I give you. :) Actually, I'm probably going to be prone to being more hard on him...to overcome any possible bias.
Zherog 09-24-06, 12:19 PM	Well, in that case I'm sure Chilli and I can rescue his score if you tank him that badly. ;) Assuming, of course, that it deserves to be rescued.
Mercurius 09-25-06, 09:56 AM	Well, I was runner-up in the last competition. ;)
Zherog 09-26-06, 10:11 AM	:bump:
the_rooster 09-26-06, 10:19 PM	You mentioned we're welcome to use other gods but nothing mechanical from them...would that include domain selection for clerics? The character I have in mind has domains not in the SRD or anything other than the ForgottenRealms campaign setting (at least I don't think he does...I don't have CD to check new domains there). The domains, in my opinion, are very flavorful and I would hate to swap them out.
Zherog 09-26-06, 10:33 PM	The intent is to steer away from campaign specific material for the crunchy bits as much as possible. So while we're OK with you using (as an example) Helm in your flavor text, we want the mechanics to make use of the domains in the PHB and Complete Divine. You have a few options here, though. 1) Check Complete Divine and see if the domain is in there. If you aren't sure, you can search for the domain name in the Ultimate Spell List maintained by Szatany over on the Spells and Magic Items forum; that'll at least tell you which books have your domain(s). If it's in Complete Divine, then you're all set. 2) If the domain you want is not core and not in CD, then your next best option is to come up with a substitution that is in one of those books. If you go with this option, it's OK (in my opinion) to add a little bit of text at the end of the entry that says, "If this dude were in an FR campaign, substitute domains X & Y." I hope that was helpful.
the_rooster 09-26-06, 11:04 PM	I hope that was helpful. It was and alas the domain I hoped for is not in the complete divine:weep: ........................................ ...but it was in complete warrior:cool:
Zherog 09-27-06, 12:01 AM	Cheers! :pint: :D
JasonOrlandoHawk 09-27-06, 01:53 PM	Milo Tosscobble: Male Halfling Rogue 2/Cleric (Yondalla) 5 Small Humanoid (Halfling); HD: 2d6+5d8; HP: 32; Init: +3 (+3 Dex); Spd: 20ft; AC: 22 (+6 Armor, +3 Dex, +1 Size, +1 Natural Armor, +1 Deflection); Touch AC: 15; Flat-footed AC: 19; BAB: +4 (Rog. +1, Clc. +3); Grap: +0 (BAB +4, Size -4, Str. +0); Attack or Full Attack: Melee: +6/1d4+1 (crit:19-20/x2) Shortsword or Ranged: +9/1d3+1 (crit: x2) Sling; SA: Sneak Attack +1d6, Turn Undead 4/day, spells; SQ: Aura of Good, Trapfinding, Spontaneous Casting, Evasion, Protection Domain(Protective Ward 1/day), Good Domain (+1 Caster Level/Good spells); AL: LG; SV: Fort: +6 (Base +4, Racial +1, Magic +1), Ref.: +9 (Base +4, Dex. +3, Racial +1, Magic +1), Will: +9 (Base +4, Wis +3, Racial +1, Magic +1)/ +11 vs. Fear (+2 Racial); Str: 10/- (Base 12, Racial -2), Dex: 16/+3 (Base 14, Racial +2), Con: 10/- (Base 10), Int: 10/- (Base 10), Wis: 17/+3 (Base 16, Lvl. 4: +1 increase), Cha: 12/+1 (Base 12) Skills: Concentration: +1 (1 rank), +5 to Cast on Defensive (Combat Casting) Heal: +6 (3 ranks, +3 Wis) Hide: +12 (5 ranks, +3 Dex, +4 Size) Knowledge (Local): +5 (5 ranks) Knowledge (Religion): +3 (3 ranks) Listen: +10 (5 ranks, +3 Wis, +2 Racial) Move Silently: +10 (5 ranks, +3 Dex, +2 Racial) Profession (Teacher): +5 (2 ranks, +3 Wis) Search: +5 (5 ranks) Sleight of Hand: +8 (5 ranks, +3 Dex) Spellcraft: +1 (1 rank) Spot: +8 (5 ranks, +3 Wis) Tumble: +8 (5 ranks, +3 Dex) Languages: Common, Halfling Feats: Lvl. 1: Point Blank Shot: +1 attack and damage on ranged attacks within 30ft. Lvl. 3: Combat Casting: +4 on Concentration checks to cast on the defensive Lvl. 6: Leadership: Gain Cohort and Followers Leadership Score: To Attract Cohorts: 9 (Lvl. 7, Cha. +1, Fairness & Generosity +1) To Attract Followers: 11 (As above, +2 Base of Operations: Temple) Cohort: Osbourne Tealeaf: Male Halfling Rogue 3/Fighter 2 # of Followers (Temple Staff): 6 -3 warriors (guards) -1 expert (teacher) -2 adepts (priests in training): includes wife Seraphina Tosscoble Gear: +2 Mithral Chain Shirt (5,100), +1 Shortsword (2,310), +1 Sling (2,300), Ring of Protection +1 (2,000), Phylactery of Faithfulness (1,000), Amulet of Natural Armor +1 (2,000), Cloak of Resistance +1 (1,000), Pearl of Power-1st Level (1,000), Wand of Cure Light Wounds (750), Scroll: Neutralize Poison/Remove Curse (750) And Silver Holy Symbol, Thieves’ Tools, Sunrods x5, Cleric’s Vestments, Traveler’s Outfit, Cold Weather Outfit, Scroll Case, Chest, Holy Water x4, Anti-toxin x2, Silk Rope (50 ft.), Grappling Hook, Bottle of Fine Wine, Sling Bullets (50), Belt Pouch, Pony, Riding Saddle, Saddle Bags (Total Cost: 438 GP) And Money: PP 10, GP 51, SP 5 Spellcasting: (Typical “Adventuring” Spells Prepared) Lvl. 0: 5/day (Base 5): Create Water, Guidance x2, Light, Detect Poison Lvl. 1: 4+Domain: Obscuring Mist, Bless, Remove Fear, Deathwatch, Sanctuary (D) Lvl. 2: 3+Domain: Bear’s Endurance, Lesser Restoration, Remove Paralysis, Shield Other (D) Lvl. 3: 2+Domain: Searing Light, Protection from Energy, Magic Circle Against Evil (D) Milo Tosscobble's Speech at the Festival of the Harvest "Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been asked to share my testimony with everyone gathered here today. As you know, I have lived here in the community of Acitu for six years now, and I have poured my efforts into rebuilding the run-down temple of Yondalla. After years of hard work, I can proudly say that it, and the school that it houses, are now in good repair. In addition to all that, I have served as a guardian for our small community, saving several lives, finding lost children, and stopping more than a few would-be bandits cold. I can honestly say that it has been a pleasure to serve you, and I couldn't have found a better set of cooks, anywhere!" "However, there is one thing I have not done for the community, and that is share my testimony. It is not an easy story, and I have kept quiet for many years because I'm not sure even I am comfortable telling it. Please bear with me. Only my good companion, Osbourne, and my darling wife Seraphina, know the half of it, so this may be hard for me to tell." "I rejected the teachings of Yondalla because of the death of my father, and I embraced the teachings of Yondalla because of the death of my mother. This is the sum total of my tale, but it is far more complex than that." "My mother and father met while working at a much larger temple to Yondalla, the Shrine of the Harvest at Leagallow's Abode, for those of you who know it. My father was a guard and my mother was a priestess to Yondalla. They fell in love and served the Abode for many, many years. They only had one child, myself." "I grew up under the teachings of Yondalla, but rejected them at the age of 17, when my father died. Another family among the halflings in the Abode were, shall I say, less than polite to my family, but one night, their farm was attacked by Orc Bandits. My father, without thinking twice, left our home to defend his rather rude neighbors. My neighbours survived. My father didn't." "I was enraged that my father would give his life for someone as rude as our neighbours. Mother consoled me that he had proven his devotion to Yondalla, and that she was proud of him. I lost it. We argued many times, and I slowly began to believe that Yondalla herself, not the Orcs, had killed my father. After one particularly nasty argument a year later, I left home, far too young, swearing never to return. My mother's last words to me would be, 'May Yondalla Protect You.' I stormed out." "I was too young to be out on my own, so I fell in with a disreputable mercenary company in a nearby large city. They trained me as a rogue/thief, and a scout for their men. We took many, dirty jobs, the description of which, I shall spare you. However, we had rivals in the form of another, more entrenched thieves' guild in a nearby city." "One night, we were waiting on one of our informants, when he came running around the corner. A knife to the leg caught the poor half-elf mid-stride and tripped him. Suddenly, he was being pummeled by four burly men. I looked at my companions. There were six of us. It would have been a tough fight, but we had the numbers. We could've saved him. No one moved. I tried to go, but the arm of our leader stopped me." "He said, 'He made a mistake. This is his reward." "I'll never forget that night. It haunts me to this day, watching someone on my team be killed because his 'friends' didn't step in and save him. Several weeks later, a new young rogue joined the ranks. His name was Osbourne Tealeaf." "Tealeaf and I became very good friends, and we were often assigned to work together. After about a year, my nightmare would return. Osbourne had been sent to steal some documents from a half-way house for the rival guild. They had caught him sneaking out, and another frantic chase had begun. They cornered him in the alley were two of my 'friends' and I waited for Osbourne to return. Again, my leader to me to stand down." "After the first time Osbourne was struck, I couldn't. I tumbled out into the street and took what would've been a killing blow to my shoulder, drawing quite a bit of blood. I knew that my associates in the shadows wouldn't help us. I didn't care. I stood their between my friend Osbourne and three angry rival gang members. I told them I wouldn't let them harm my friend, and I didn't care what it cost me." "To this day, I don't know why they left. They looked at me, and they looked at something behind me. No one was there when I turned around. They just left. I would spend the next week nursing Osbourne back to health, and then we would both leave the cowards we once called friends." "The next few months were hard. I didn't want to go home, but I couldn't stay in the city. Finally, Osbourne convinced me to go. When we arrived, the orcs had come back, in a much larger force." "We came into town mid-battle. Our arrival actually did quite a bit of good, since it distracted the orcs from destroying a home with several children crying inside. We fought for several hours with the town guard, and finally, it was over. That was when I realized that I couldn't find my mother." "The search ended at the first home I had saved. My mother was spread out on the bed, bleeding from several wounds. I ran to her. She was barely concious. She looked up when she saw me, and the first thing she said was that she was proud of me for saving my friend. I still don't know how she knew about that." "I told her that she should save her strength, or maybe use her magic to heal herself. She had spent all of her magic healing a young girl struck by one of the orcs. Her life was slowly ending. Her last words to me were 'May Yondalla protect you as you have protected others." "Those words brought me to faith in Yondalla. I suddenly knew what I had been missing. I knew what was right and wrong, and I knew I had to stand up for others. It has been ten long years since then, and I have had to struggle to learn how to live as my mother and father did. Six years ago, I found this run-down shrine, and I decided to rebuild it. You know the story from there." "That is my story. May Yondalla protect you as you protect others. Thank you, and enjoy the festival."
TheChilliGod 09-28-06, 03:16 PM	:bump: 5 hours left until closing time! If you've been simply sitting around and procrastinating up till now, then you had better...not... procrastinate... for much longer! Yes. (That was a threat.)
Mercurius 09-28-06, 05:51 PM	5 hours?! I thought it was ending on Friday!
Zherog 09-28-06, 06:17 PM	Midnight Friday is technically, at this moment, 1 hour and 45 minutes away. (don't worry, Mercurius - my jaw hit the floor about as hard as yours. ;) )
Mercurius 09-28-06, 06:38 PM	So... I guess I'd better hurry and get posted then? *grumble grumble*
Mercurius 09-28-06, 06:56 PM	Here's my entry: Once, Gredand Forge was a rather happy but unremarkable dwarf. He resided in the city of Waterdeep, plying his one great skill – brewing. Gredand was a skilled brewer, much to the consternation of his family, and he was known for his particular brand of ale. Though not the greatest of brewers, he was very good with his mixtures, and maintained employment at a somewhat popular tavern known as the "Hanging Orc." At the Hanging Orc, Gredand was well liked. He was jovial, paternal, and had a strong affection for several of the regular customers, several of whom were adventurers or planned to become adventurers in due time. Gredand lived comfortably, and had a great deal of friends, even if his family didn't approve much of his trade or his living amidst humans rather than other dwarves. He was happy. If there was any particular problem with Gredand, it was his other hobby. You see, Gredand was not only skilled at creating brews; he was also very adept at consuming them, as well. While his tolerance for alcohol was greater than most men, he was still known to spend much of his leisure time in a drunken stupor. It was in one of these stupors that the forgotten scion of the Forge family's life took a very peculiar turn... After brewing a particularly strong batch of "Gredand's Troll Bath," a pungent concoction even at its weakest, Gredand helped himself to more than half of the contents in one sitting. Without eating a bite first. It is said that the dwarf wandered out of his room, reeking of booze and muttering to himself, stumbling in the direction of the wharf. Gredand, however, recalls a very different evening. The ancestors of the Forge family appeared before him, beckoning him on. Presuming he had finally killed himself, Gredand followed them into the winding stone corridors of his homeland, until, finally, he came upon a great altar of Moradin. The enormous statue of the dwarf-father looked down upon him, and a great, booming voice reverberated throughout the temple. "Gredand Forge! You have disappointed myself and have left a stain upon the blood of your ancestors. You have forgotten the greatness that is your birthright and abandoned your family. I charge you, therefore, to change your ways, and to bring greatness to your name in honor of those who have come before you. Your ancestors will amass to help you, and you shall be a gateway by which they affect the world at hand. In time, your skill shall grow, and I will call upon you to accomplish a task of dire importance. But, for now, you must simply grow in strength." So overpowered by Moradin's words was he, that Gredand felt his great strength fail him and his mind reeled as his ancestors chastised him while they filled him with their power. He awoke the next morning in bay, and from that moment on, he could hear the voices of his ancestors speaking to him and guiding him on to greatness. In no time at all, he called upon his friends at the Hanging Orc and made arrangements to join a party of adventurers who planned on traveling into a nearby dungeon for wealth and greatness. The dungeon was a long and arduous affair, but he bolstered the powers of his ancestors with skill at arms he learned from the half-orc warrior he had known since she was but a child, and his powers yielded great results in many conflicts against kobolds, orcs, and other monsters. His ancestors even materialized in the world to bolster the party's ranks, though Gredand found himself greatly disabled by their transition into the real world. Sadly, the dungeon was far too dangerous for the ambitious party, and they ran afoul of a group of ogres, lead by a terrible ogre barbarian chieftain. Thanks in large part to Gredand's skill, the party managed to slay the four ogres, but the chieftain was another matter. Despite their best efforts, the party was overmatched by the hulking monster, and Gredand, spent from using too much of his ancestors' power, willingly bought his party the time they needed to retreat. His last sight as the ogre's club came down upon his head was of his friends' reluctant withdrawal. Though all had thought the old brewer had died, he had instead merely been subdued by the ogre. Greedy more than murderous, the ogre had gathered up his defeated foes and sold them to the hideous Neogi slavers that roamed deep beneath the dungeon. Gredand found himself amidst many other monsters, and, try as he might, he was unable to escape captivity. His ancestral waraxe was taken from him, and he was left, naked and bound, along with many goblins, orcs, humans, and other creatures. The lot were dragged through the winding tunnels of the Underdark until the Neogi found their goal – a city populated by dread illithids. The Mindflayers payed handsomely for the slaves, and many were shortly thereafter devoured. Gredand, miraculously, avoided such a fate, as he was able of body and demonstrated none of the characteristics the illithids expected in a tasty morsel of highly intelligent gray-matter. Instead, he was put to work in their mines alongside many other dwarf slaves, their minds broken and wills sapped. While he worked in the mines, he refused to let the power his ancestors go to waste, and he developed it more and more while no one was watching him closely. Over time, his ancestors' powers began to bolster his stamina, guide him as he struck with his pick, and even steel him against the blows his captors and fellow captives would periodically heap upon him. Finally, after who-knows how many months or years of captivity, Moradin came once again to the dwarf. He lead him to a small cavern, not yet thoroughly excavated by the slaves of the fell aberrations who even now plotted against the surface. Gredand worked tirelessly throughout the night, away from the prying eyes of his overseers and aided by his skilled ancestors and the strength of the dwarf-father himself. Finally, his pick breached stone and earth, and uncovered a long-lost dwarf tunnel complex. The dwarven peoples who had inhabited the forgotten halls had clearly fallen against the terrible mindflayers themselves, for several bore the characteristic breaches to the skull that marked the illithid's eating habits. Amidst the skeletons of his fallen brethren, he found a dwarven waraxe, carved out of a jet-black crystal, which reacted as Gredand held it aloft. Surely, Moradin had guided him to this place so that he might find freedom again, thought the weary slave. He gathered up what he could gain from the lost forge, and secreted it away where he could gain it again. Before long, he had formulated an escape plan. Using his new axe and powers, he set upon a small overseer group, slaying one and leaving the other to the tender mercies of his embodied ancestors. He hurried into the tunnels of the Underdark, and followed the spirits as they guided him to the surface. He found himself in the cellar of an old cobbler, who had secretly been working with his illithid masters to provide them with slaves and news from the surface. The old man presented little threat, but Gredand restrained himself and dragged the dominated peasant before his authorities rather than slay him where he stood. He warned the town against the illithid plot beneath their feet, and joined them in their hunt, guiding them through darkness and stone caverns until, at last, they slew the handful of vile aberrations that had been overseeing the region. Gredand has now dedicated his life to the eradication of the loathsome mindflayers, as well as the other abominations that haunt the Underdark. He holds his waraxe aloft, and trusts in the power of his ancestors to protect his people, and all others, from a fate far worse than simple death. Appearance Gredand is a dwarf of strong stature, standing almost four and a half feet tall. His once blond hair has become dry and grayed from his years of hardship, and his carefree face now bears several scars and the wrinkles of stress and worry. His eyes are an intense blue, shining slightly when his ancestors work their will through his flesh and sinew. He carries himself gruffly and seriously, and he has apparently forgotten the pleasures he once drew from mirth and ale. He wears platemail of fine dwarven make, with a red tabard and a helm adorned with stylized dragon wings of a crimson hue. His red shield is trimmed in gold and emblazoned with the rune of his family, and his waraxe is hewn from a single piece of deep crystal. Flavor Gredand views his psionic powers as a gift from his ancestors and Moradin. His Astral Constructs take the form of ghostly dwarven warriors, and he calls many of them by name. His other powers also are interpreted through this lense: Offensive Precognition is his ancestors guiding his strike, while Biofeedback is a blessing his ancestors bestow upon his flesh to protect him from harm. His Psionic Blast ability was gained after watching the actions of the illithids, and is the only power Gredand has that he does not directly attribute to his forebears. His next level will be in the Illithid Slayer Prestige Class from the XPH. He meets all the requirements, and would greatly benefit from the increasted BAB and skill points. Gredand Forge LN Dwarf Psion (Shaper) 6/Fighter 1 Strength: 14 (6 points) Dexterity: 10 (2 points) Constitution: 14 (12 (4 points) + 2 Racial Bonus) Intelligence: 18 (17 (13 points) + 1 Level Bonus) Wisdom: 11 (3 points) Charisma: 6 (8 (0 points) - 2 Racial Penalty) Fortitude: +7 = + 4 Base (+2 Psion 6/ +2 Fighter 1) + 2 Constitution + 1 Resistance Reflex: +3 = + 2 Base (Psion 6) + 0 Dexterity + 1 Resistance Will: +6 = +5 Base (Psion 6) + 0 Wisdom + 1 Resistance BAB/Grapple: +4 (+3 Psion 6/+1 Fighter 1) / +6 Initiative: +0 Armor Class: 21 = 10 + 0 (Dex) + 9 (Armor) + 3 (Shield) Hit Dice: 44hp = 4 (1st level max) + 12.5 (5d4) + 5.5 (1d10) + 14 (CONx7) + 8 (Psionic Body) Skills Bluff -1 = 1 rank (Psion) - 2 Charisma Concentration +11 = 9 ranks + 2 Constitution Intimidate -1 = 1 rank (Fighter) - 2 Charisma Knowledge (Dungeoneering) +8 = 4 ranks + 4 Intelligence Knowledge (Psionics) +13 = 9 ranks + 4 Intelligence Profession (Brewer) +4 = 4 ranks Psicraft +15 = 9 ranks + 4 Intelligence + 2 Synergy (Know: Psi) Survival (cc) +4 = 4 ranks (2 from fighter, 2 from Psion) Feats (note: FB - Fighter Bonus / PB - Psion Bonus) 1st Level - Overchannel (XPH p. 49) - Talented (PB) (XPH p. 51) 2nd Level - Weapon Focus (Dwarven Waraxe) (FB) 3rd Level - Boost Construct (XPH p. 43) 6th Level - Track - Psionic Body (PB) (XPH p. 49) Proficiencies All simple and martial weapons. All types of armor and shields, including Tower Shields. Powers Known (Shaper Discipline) (Listed in order acquired) 1st Level - Astral Construct - Mind Thrust - Disable - Precognition; Offensive - Vigor 2nd Level - Biofeedback - Energy Stun - Ego Whip - Inflict Pain 3rd Level - Keen Edge; Psionic - Energy Burst - Psionic Blast - Body Adjustment Power Point Reserve 47 (35 (Psion 6) + 12 (18 INT @ 6th level Manifester) Save DC 14 + Power Level + Augmented DC Equipment (19,000 gp total character wealth) +1 Full Plate of Quickness (5,650 gp) - +8 AC bonus, -5 Armor Check Penalty, +5' Base Speed (XPH p. 163) +1 Shield, Heavy, Wooden (1,157 gp) +1 Deep Crystal Dwarven Waraxe (XPH p. 182) (3,330 gp) 4 Potion of Cure Light Wounds (200 gp = 50 gp each) Everburning Torch (110 gp) Cloak of Resistance + 1 (1,000 gp) Brooch of Shielding (1,500 gp) Lens of Detection (3,500 gp) Dorje of Inertial Armor (750 gp) MW Mighty Composite Longbow (+ 2 STR) (600 gp) 50 Arrows (50 gp) Pouch, Belt (1 gp) Bedroll (1 sp) Blanket, Winter (5 sp) Caltrops (1 gp) Rope, silk. 50 ft. (10 gp) Waterskin (1 gp) Whetstone (2 cp) Tent (10 gp) Rations, trail. 5 days (25 sp) Antitoxin vial (50 gp) Club (0 gp) Remaining Money: 1,076 gp, 8 sp, 8 cp (He's saving up to get an Aberration Bane enchantment put upon his axe.
Kit_the_Odd 09-28-06, 07:03 PM	Here's mine, sneaking in at the last minute.:) Kennis Vedelia “ I seek after the divine glory of intelligence and knowledge.” Human Rogue3/Bard4 Kennis Vedelia's is the 5th of 12 children. He was an active and energetic young boy. While as prone to mischief as any boy he was a good and kind child at heart. His mother died giving birth to the youngest, Kennis was 9 at the time. His father was a blacksmith, but the area they lived in was poor. Unable to fully support his large family, even with the help of the older children, he apprenticed several of his children to craftsmen and merchants in other villages and cities. Kennis was a smart and curious child, though not as strong as most of his brothers, so his father was able to apprentice him to another smith who worked mostly with jewelry and mechanisms. When he left for the city his father told Kennis, “Never forget that you are part of this family, no matter how far you may be. We will always love you. Be the best you can be and find joy in your life.” Working for the smith, or jeweler, Kennis learned the principles and skills of designing, making, and fixing delicate mechanisms as well as how to make fine jewelry. Kennis picked up these new skills easily, but his new master was not well suited to handling such an energetic child. This jeweler, Thad Rubiman, was old by this time, and while his hands and eyes were as bright and quick as ever, the rest of his body was not. Thad had never been a very active man and was completely unable to keep up with Kennis’ energy and drive. Eventually Thad gave up, and as long as Kennis fulfilled his duties in the shop and at home he was left to his own devices. Luckily for Kennis, the jeweler was well known for his locks and other mechanisms which brought a steady stream of adventurers to his shop for help. Many of these adventurers delighted to telling the young apprentice about their exploits. Because of the rapt attention he paid to them Kennis was treated like a little brother by many, if not most, of them. This new family is probably what kept him out of the trouble a curious, energetic, and intelligent adolescent male is likely to get into. By the time Kennis was 14 he decided that he wanted to be an adventurer and spent his extra time preparing himself for that vocation. It was during this time that Kennis first showed some magical ability, both inherent (Insightful Feat) and in using magical devices. He worked on these abilities along with his others, although he didn’t care to devote himself to a full education in magic. When he turned 16 he completed his journeyman piece (an ingenious trapped lock) and ended his apprenticeship with Thad. He stayed on, working at Thad’s shop while looking for group to join. When the time came Thad was sorry to see him go because he liked the boy as well as the help he was in the shop. Thad sent him off with his blessing and with the gift of a masterful set of tools. He also gave Kennis this advice, “Always seek for the best and noblest. It won’t be the easiest, but it will bring you the most joy in the end.” Thus began the career of Kennis Vedelia, Adventurer. He continued to send home a portion of the money he made, just as he had as a jewelers apprentice. He also visited his family when he could. And he would have had a fine career as an adventuring trapfinder, locksmith, and all-around sneaky rogue…except for one encounter he had. He and his team were trying to save a small town from an evil wizard. During the fight with the wizard Kennis was attacked by several of the wizard’s minions and thrown to the floor. His teammates rushed to his rescue, but the minions had time to stab him with a poisoned dagger and shove a bottle of “something” down his throat. The minions were evidently trying to give him more poison or something else to kill him, but that is not what Kennis got. Instead he was forced to drink an Elixir of Ancient Knowledge (see note). This magic forced vast amounts of historical knowledge into his mind and nearly drove him mad. His team was able to defeat the wizard and carried him back to town to recover from his wounds, mental as well as physical. This was not the first group Kennis had worked with, and while the got along fine, when he was set up and healing they parted ways with his blessing. Kennis wanted to take some time to reflect on where he was and what he was doing. The knowledge that has been forced into his mind had given him a different perspective on life. The knowledge itself had faded with the magic, but the sense of wonder and appreciation for knowledge and life remained. Kennis decided that he wanted to regain that clarity and understanding of the world, in a more permanent fashion this time. At first he sought out a Wizard’s College, knowing the wizards tended to be very intelligent and thinking that they would have the knowledge and understanding he sought. But instead he found them focused on the arts of the arcane to the exclusion of nearly all else. This was not the type of learning the Kennis wanted so he continued his search. Shortly after this disappointment, Kennis was sitting a tavern when a traveling bard began telling stories. Kennis was not only entranced by the stories but by the broad range of topics the bard was able to converse on. Truly, he thought, this is the path that will lead to the knowledge I seek. Talking to the bard later Kennis learned of several bardic colleges nearby where he might be able to study. Kennis not only attended and learned at the colleges but continued to adventure as the opportunity arose. Kennis has stated, on several occasions that his objective is to, “Seek after the divine glory of intelligence and knowledge.” In the years that have followed Kennis has continued of the path of the bard, seeking knowledge and wisdom though out the land. He still keeps adventuring, but he now concentrates of ruins and ancient structures that may contain forgotten knowledge. While he has continued to adventure, Kennis still has not made a permanent connection with any single adventuring team. Kennis has however recently found a steady companion in his quest for knowledge. Mach Sinna is a halfling rogue. Like many other halflings Mach has embraced his abilities to sneak and find hidden things as well as taken advantage of his natural ability with mechanical things. Growing up in a world where many people tower over him Mach is aware of his vulnerabilities. But he is also aware of his own strengths and the vulnerabilities of the ‘big folk’. One reason Mach is so devoted to Kennis is the Kennis only cares about who the person is and what they know and can do. Kennis’ appreciation of Mach’s abilities has much to do with it. Mach’s basic philosophy could be summed up as “Knowledge is a power that doesn’t depend on size.” Both Kennis and Mach are focused on ‘rougish’ side of adventuring. This is because their interests are in the search for and acquisition of knowledge, rather than the fighting and other things that often accompany that acquisition. This focus (and potential weakness) is easily seen in their choice of equipment, items, and spells. As will also be readily seen, they both would make great Boy Scouts because they firmly believe in “Being Prepared”. After all, as Kennis often says, “It’s better to have and not need, than need and not have.” Note on Elixir of Ancient Knowledge: Modeled after Elixers of Hiding, Sneaking, and such, it grants a +10 competence bonus on Knowledge(History) checks for an hour. It also is a plot point. Kennis Vedelia Male Human Rogue3/Bard4 NG Str - 10 Dex - 18 (+1 4th level, +2 Gloves of Dex) Con - 12 Int - 16 (+2 Headband of Int) Wis - 10 Cha - 14 Hp - 34 AC - 18 (4 armor, 4 dex) Touch 14, FF 15 Init +8 (+4dex, +4 Imp.Init) Fort +3 (+2 base, +1 Con) Ref +11 (+7 base, +4 Dex) Will +5 (+5 base) BAB +5, Grap. +5, Melee, +5, Ranged +9 Attacks: mstrwk rapier (+10, 1d6, 18-20/x2), shortbow (+9, 1d6, 20/x3), whip (+9, 1d3), dagger (+9, 1d4, 19-20/x2), quarterstaff (+4, 1d6/1d6) Armor: chain shirt (light, +4AC, -2 check penalty) Feats: 1st- Improved Initiative 1st human – Insightful 3rd – Weapon Finesse 6th – Leadership Abilities: Trap sense +1 (Ex) Trapfinding (Ex) Sneak Attack 2d6 Evasion (Ex) Bardic Knowledge (Ex) Bardic Music 4/day Countersong (Su) Fascinate (Su) Inspire Courage +1 (Su) Inspire Competence +2 (Su) From Insightful Feat Detect magic, Read Magic, Detect Secret Doors 1/day as 1st level Sorcerer. Spells Known: 0 - Ghost Sound (DC 13), Light, Mage Hand, Mending, Prestidigitation, Resistance 1 - Focusing Chant, Joyful Noise, Phantom Threat (DC 14) 2 - Invisibility, Whirling Blade Languages: Common, Celestial, Draconic, Dwarven, Elven, Giant, Gnome Skills: Balance +9 (+5 ranks, +4 Dex, +2 Tumble ranks, -2 ACP) Climb +0 (+2 ranks, -2 ACP) Decipher Script +8 (+5 ranks, +3 Int) Disable Device +9 (+6 ranks, +3 Int) Hide +8 (+6 ranks, +4 Dex, -2 ACP) Knowledge(arcana) +4 (+1 rank, +3 Int) Knowledge(arch&eng) +4 (+1 rank, +3 Int) Knowledge(dungeoneering) +4 (+1 rank, +3 Int) Knowledge(geography) +4 (+1 rank, +3 Int) Knowledge(history) +5 (+1 rank, +3 Int) Knowledge(nobilty) +4 (+1 rank, +3 Int) Knowledge(religion) +4 (+1 rank, +3 Int) Listen +6 (+6 ranks) Move Silently +8 (+6 ranks, +4 Dex, -2 ACP) Open Locks +10 (+6 ranks, +4 Dex) Perform(vocal) +15 (+10 ranks, +2 Cha, +3 brooch of persuasion) Perform(percussion) +6 (+1 rank, +2 Cha, +3 brooch of persuasion) Search +9 (+6 ranks, +3 Int) Speak Language 4 Spellcraft +8 (+5 ranks, +3 Int) Spot +6 (+6 ranks) Tumble +12 (+10 ranks, +4 Dex, -2 ACP) Use Magic Device +15 (+10 ranks, +2 Cha, +3 brooch of persuasion) Possessions: 282 gp, 2 sp Brooch of Persuasion – 4500 gp (see note) Headband of Intellect – 4000 gp Gloves of Dexterity – 4000 gp Heward’s Handy Haversack – 2000 gp Masterwork Rapier – 320 gp Shortbow – 30 gp Chain Shirt – 100 gp Wand of Cure Light Wounds – 750 gp Wand of Magic Missile (25 charges) – 375 gp Wand of Summon Monster I (10 charges) – 150 gp Wand of Feather Fall (5 charges) – 75 gp Wand of Grease (5 charges) – 75 gp Universal Solvent – 50 gp Scroll of Alarm (2) – 50 gp Scroll of Comprehend Languages – 25 gp Scroll of Cat’s Grace – 150 gp Scroll of CMW (2) – 300 gp Scroll of Fox’s Cunning – 150 gp Scroll of Glitterdust – 150 gp Scroll of Tongues – 375 gp Scroll of Dispel Magic – 375 gp Scroll of See Invisibility – 150 gp Bedroll – 1 sp Blanket – 5 sp Caltrops – 1 gp Candle (10) – 1 sp Chalk (10) – 1 sp Crowbar – 2 gp Flint & Steel – 1 gp Grappling hook – 1 gp Bullseye lantern – 12 gp Mirror – 10 gp Silken rope (50ft) – 10 gp Climber’s Kit – 80 gp Thief’s tools, masterwork – 100 gp Weapon capsule container – 100 gp Quickflame (2) – 50 gp Quickfrost (2) – 50 gp Quickspark (2) – 50 gp Masterwork drum – 100 gp Note: Brooch of Persuasion is modeled after the Circlet of Persuasion from the DMG. The Circlet price seems to have the uncustomary space limitation built into it, so I just kept the same price but moved the space from the head to a brooch. If anyone has different information this could be changed. Mach Sinnis Male Halfling Rogue 5 NG Str 10 (-2 racial) Dex 20 (+1 4th level, +2 racial) Con 10 Int 14 Wis 10 Cha 9 Hp – 20 AC - 21 (3 armor, 1 buckler, 5 dex, 1 size, 1 deflection) Touch 17, FF 21 Init +9 (+5dex, +4 Imp.Init) Fort +3 (+1 base, +1 magic, +1 racial) Ref +11 (+4 base, +5 Dex, +1 magic, +1 racial) Will +3 (+1 base, +1 magic, +1 racial) BAB +3, Grap. -1, Melee, +4, Ranged +9 Attacks: mstrwk rapier (+5, 1d4, 18-20/x2), masterwork dagger (+5, 1d3, 19-20/x2), masterwork shortbow (+10, 1d4, 20/x3), sap (+4, 1d4), dagger (+4, 1d3, 19-20/x2) Armor: masterwork studded leather (light, +3AC), masterwork buckler (+1AC) Feats: 1st- Improved Initiative 3rd – Tactile Trapsmith Abilities: Trap sense +1 (Ex) Trapfinding (Ex) Sneak Attack 3d6 Evasion (Ex) Uncanny Dodge Languages: Common, Dwarven, Gnome, Halfling Skills: Balance +15 (+8 ranks, +5 Dex, +2 Tumble ranks) Climb +4 (+2 ranks, +2 racial) Disable Device +13 (+8 ranks, +5 Dex(Tactile Trapsmith)) Escape Artist +7 (+2 ranks, +5 Dex) Hide +17 (+8 ranks, +5 Dex, +4 size) Move Silently +15 (+8 ranks, +5 Dex, +2 racial) Open Lock +13 (+8 ranks, +5 Dex) Search +13 (+8 ranks, +5 Dex(Tactile Trapsmith)) Sleight of Hand +9 (+4 ranks, +5 Dex) Spot +8 (+8 ranks) Tumble +13 (+8 ranks, +5 Dex) Use Magic Device +7 (+8 ranks, -1 Cha) Possessions: 253 gp, 2 sp Masterwork rapier – 320 gp Heward’s Handy Haversack – 2000 gp Masterwork shortbow – 330 Masterwork dagger (2) – 304 Dagger (5) – 10 gp Masterwork buckler – 165 gp Masterwork studded leather – 175 gp Vest of resistance +1 – 1000gp Ring of Protection +1 – 2000 gp Lockslip Grease – 20 gp Masterwork Thief’s Tools – 100 gp Masterwork Longspoon Thief’s Tools – 150 gp Bedroll – 1 sp Blanket – 5 sp Caltrops – 1 gp Candle (10) – 1 sp Chalk (10) – 1 sp Crowbar – 2 gp Flint & steel – 1 gp Grappling hook – 1 gp Bullseye lantern – 12 gp Mirror – 10 gp 50dt silken rope – 10 gp Climber’s kit – 80 gp Wand of Magic Missile (25 charges) – 375 gp Wand of CLW (25 charges) – 375 gp Wand of Summon Monster 1 (25 charges) – 375 gp Triple weapon capsule container – 450 gp Quickflame (2) – 50 gp Quickfrost (2) – 50 gp Quickspark (2) – 50 gp
Zherog 09-28-06, 07:45 PM	That's four entries, with about 15 minutes left. Damn - now I have to actually do some work. :P :P :P
TheChilliGod 09-28-06, 08:03 PM	That's four entries, with about 15 minutes left. Damn - now I have to actually do some work. :P :P :P Well, that's better than an hour ago; I was afraid I wouldn't be able to give out bronze to anyone. Anyway, time is now up. Any entries below this post will not be judged, but you can still post entries if you feel the need to. Us judges will begin our judging as soon as we can/want, and we'll get results back to you as soon as we can. Wish us luck. :P
jennibert 10-01-06, 05:21 PM	Judging is ongoing, competitors! As I've turned in my scores, I'll just say that anyone who would like my comments is welcome to PM me and I'll send them along (though please forgive delays....all comments are on my home desktop, so I can't access them during the day). As a warning however--I was tad bit blunt in some of the comments. Not mean, I don't think, but not necessarily nice, either. So no hard feelings, k? Thanks to our participants for their submissions. I enjoyed reading all of them.
Zherog 10-01-06, 06:30 PM	My scores will be in by tomorrow evening (my time ;) ). I'll be posting comments by default once I send the scores in.
TheChilliGod 10-02-06, 02:39 PM	Us judges have now judged and scored each individual entry. It was extremely tough to find out who was going to beat who, but we have found out a winner, who will take home an entry onto our list of eligible judges. But first, the bronze and silver winners. In 3rd place, with a total average score of 22.7/35 (65%), "Nail Trollard" by Martryn! In 2nd place, with a total average score of 27.5/35 (79%), "Gredand Forge" by Mercurius! In 1st place by a hair, with a total average score of 28.3/35 (81%), "Milo Tosscobble" by JasonOrlandoHawk! and in 4th place, with a total average score of 21.3/35 (61%), "Kennis Vedelia" by Kit_the_Odd. Congratulations to all of our winners! Pretty soon, our judges will give their comments on each entry, so to help the community as a whole. Also, expect the Third Hero Craftsmen competition to pop up in a matter of days.
Zherog 10-02-06, 03:08 PM	Speaking of comments... Generic comments For my scores, I started at the midpoint of each category (5 for the first three, and 2.5 for clarity). I then adjusted up or down from there. So a thoroughly average entry from me would receive scores of: Thematic Creativity: 5 Background Content: 5 Rules Use: 5 Clarity: 2.5 Thematic Creativity So, I’ll come right out and say it; classes such as cleric, paladin, and favored soul were going to have a real tough time getting good scores from me for this section, because they’re so obvious. If you went with a class that by default is a divine servant, you needed to really impress me. Background Content There are a few things I look for in any character that falls in this category, especially characters as well defined in the world as 7th level PCs: I want a description. I want things like height, weight, general build, hair color, eye color, and so on. I think this is the sort of fluff that can add so much to a character, and help you begin to see them as a real person. I want life goals. Your character wants something; tell me what it is. “I want to see as much of the world as possible” is a fine goal. “I want to end slavery and let all people, regardless of race – even those scummy goblins, live their own lives” is also a find goal. Basically, you’re helping me write adventures that you’ll be interested in by giving me good goals. You have parents; tell me something about them. I expect that you have at least one friend or ally in the world. It might be a childhood friend; it might be a mentor; whatever. Giving me an ally that isn’t a family member helps me with plot hooks, and gives me a chance to develop some roleplay with you. I expect you to have at least one enemy or adversary – especially by 7th level. I want this, too, for the same reason. I expect you to have a reasonable background for your level. If you’re first level, I don’t need 10 pages, and please don’t tell me how your first level character single-handedly beat off a tribe of 30 orcs that invaded his village. Yes, I’ve seen that in a background before. Similarly, though, if your, oh let’s say 7th level ;) , please don’t give me a background that says, “Billy Bob wandered around the world, helping those who needed it.” Yes, I’ve seen that too. Ideally, your background intertwines all the other points – your family, your friends, and your adversaries – into a coherent mix. I warn my PCs – any of the above things you leave out, you’re inviting me to make up. Chances are, you’ll like your version better than my version. :D Rules Use I double check your math. I look up any classes to make sure you have the right saves, BAB, skills, and so on. I make sure you actually qualify for all the feats you select. I once had a player give me a third level rogue character with the feats Weapon Focus (dagger) and Quick Draw. Except, it’s impossible for a rogue to have those feats at 3rd level, because they both have a pre-req of “BAB +1,” and one of them was selected at first level when the rogue has a BAB of +0. I take your skill points and “reverse engineer” them, to make sure I get to the same totals you have. But overall, this section should be fairly self explanatory. Clarity I’m not the spelling and grammar police – at least not in a contest like this. I might point out some things, but individual things won’t hurt your score. Instead, there’s two key things here: How easily can I find data in your stat block How compelling was your background to read. The first is obvious, I guess, so I’ll focus on the second. When I read your background, do I want to keep going? If it’s one huge block of text, then probably not. If it’s got paragraph breaks, and flows well, though, then it’s a good thing. So there’s a not-so-brief look at what I put into judging in general. Individual comments are below. And one real quick point about the comments: I make them as I go through your character. So, for example, you might see where I ask something like, “Why does he have a +X to attack rather than a +Y?” Later on, you might see another comment from me that says something like, “Ah, so this is why he has a +X to attack.” So, before you start replying to me about how blind I am for missing the obvious bonus that changed your character’s attacks from +Y to +X, read all my comments – just to make sure I didn’t catch it myself later. And incidentally, something like that is likely to have a small impact on your clarity score. Alright – on to the comments! Mechanics A few blank lines in your stat block would’ve increased the readability a bit; it didn’t hurt your score a lot, but that was an awfully large block of text to dig through. For that style stat block, a blank line between each “section” is generally OK. For example, after ability scores but before skills, after skills but before feats. And so on. On the flip side, I appreciate the stat breakdown in parens for each element – while I validate the numbers individually, it lets me see where you got the number if there’s a difference. This was a big problem in the first contest, and it was one of the reasons it was added to the “tips” section. :) I was glad to see you selected a familiar; too often – especially in published material, sadly – people opt not to have animal companions or familiars. In published material, the decision is often made because of space. Pity, because those creatures can add a ton of flavor and even versatility to a character. One thing you might do for future contests is include a small stat block for the familiar/animal companion. You’ve managed to select many of my favorite core spells for your spellbook. :) As best as I can tell, though, you have too many spells in your spellbook. First level spells looks OK – you got 6 spells at Necro1 and 2 more at Necro2 for a total of 8 spells. The problem is on the second level spells. At Necro3, you can add two more spells to your spellbook, and the presumption is you add 2 second level spells. At MyTH1 you also get to add spells to your spellbook, again two, and again the assumption would be you’d add your highest level possible. So that should give you a total of 4 second level spells in Nail’s spellbook, but he has a total of 6. I’m not sure where the extra two spells came from. As best as I can tell, you haven’t spent enough skill points; conveniently all three of your classes (wizard, cleric, mystic theurge) have 2+Int as the number of skill points; toss in your bonus point for being a human, and you’re getting a total of 7 skill points every level (and 28 at first level). So 7 skill points X 6 levels = 42; + 28 skill points at first level = 70 skill points. If I add up what you have listed, I get 61 skill points; and if I spend 6 skill points per level (24 at first), I can get within 1 rank of what you have listed. So I’m not sure how you got to where you did, but there’s definitely a problem with the ranks. Everything else with skills checks out OK. One thing I like seeing on skills, though. There’s a bunch of skills that everybody makes whether they have ranks or not. It tends to vary from game to game, but Spot and Listen are just about always on the list. So I like seeing those on character sheets. I also like Search to appear, but that’s not as critical. Feats look good – you qualify for them at the levels you list, and you have the right number. Your equipment value is spot on, but I’m going to offer you a tip anyway. A wand of cure light wounds heals 1d8+1 hp per charge and costs 750 gp. A wand of cure moderate wounds heals 1d8+3 hp per charge and costs 4500 gp. So the moderate costs 90 gp per charge and heals, on average, 7.5 hp. The light costs 15 gp per charge and heals, on average, 5.5 hp. So, basically, you’re spending an extra 75 gp per charge to heal 2 hp. You could, for example, buy two wands of cure light wounds, have more healing power, and have 3000 gp left over. Just one of those little kind of things to consider – the wand of cure light wounds is probably the best healing money can buy in the game. Background Quick points: You have a description; yay. You have family – and it doesn’t involve, “They’re all dead!” (and yes, I’ve seen that as a background, too. *sigh* ) You have unnamed allies, which is good – though names are better. You have unnamed enemies, which again is good – though names are better Much like your stat block, using a blank line between paragraphs probably would’ve helped a tiny bit, by breaking up the text. There’s a few typos and such, but nothing so egregious I couldn’t figure out what it meant right away. Overall, your background is well written – but it doesn’t make Nail stand out to me. There’s not too much different between Nail and any other cleric of Kelemvor – hates undead, seeks to slay them, believes in the sanctity of death, and so on. Don’t get me wrong – there’s definitely some things (like his penchant for getting young maidens’ fathers angry). I would’ve liked to see a bit more here. For example, there’s a good chance for you to give a DM a fun hook by naming one; if I were your DM, you can be certain one of those angry fathers would track you down and confront you, probably at a very inconvenient time. I’d see it as a fun RP opportunity, though, not a combat one. Nail is definitely a solid character, and could be dropped into just about any campaign that would allow Kelemvor (or a similar deity) as a god. Mechanical You misspelled Milo’s wife’s name under the Leadership stuff. :P Overall, your stats look solid. Two things I can note on your spells, though. First, it generally pays to put the DC; since you don’t have Spell Focus, you could just list it right at the beginning of the line. Something like, Lvl. 0: 5/day (Base 5) DC 13: The second point on spells is that you probably want to denote spells that have the [Good] descriptor. So, for example, you might do this: magic circle against evil (D) (CL6) It just serves as a quick reminder when referencing the stats. I was able to back into all your stats, so cheers! :pint: Silver Holy Symbol, Thieves’ Tools, Sunrods x5, Cleric’s Vestments, Traveler’s Outfit, Cold Weather Outfit, Scroll Case, Chest, Holy Water x4, Anti-toxin x2, Silk Rope (50 ft.), Grappling Hook, Bottle of Fine Wine, Sling Bullets (50), Belt Pouch, Pony, Riding Saddle, Saddle Bags (Total Cost: 438 GP) I come up with a total of 343.5 for this stuff. And I come up with a grand total of 18,705 for your stuff. Under is certainly better than over, though. One thing I didn’t check, but I suspect might be a problem, is your encumbrance. You’re carrying a lot of stuff, your Strength is only 10, and you get screwed by being a Small race. It’s definitely something you would need to keep an eye on. Of course, saving up some gold and buying a Heward’s handy haversack solves the problem, too. The pony helps a great deal as well, since you can just load it down. But it’s something you would need to watch, depending on the DM. Speaking of the pony – I mentioned in my reply to Martyn that I like seeing skills that are often performed untrained listed on the sheet. Ride would be a good example for you. Two other skills to consider listing, even though you have no ranks, are Balance and Jump, because you have a synergy bonus to each from Tumble; Jump also has some weirdness going on with a penalty for having a speed less than 30 feet. So to make life easy when those come up, you could just drop them onto your sheet. Background Quick Points: You didn’t describe Milo. You mention family, but they’re dead. Named allies are good. You have several enemies and adversaries. If you read my comments to Martyn, you probably figured out I don’t like the “both my parents are dead” background. You pulled it off OK, though. You gave good reasons how it happened, and you used it to shape Milo’s life. Were I your DM, your parents would make an appearance at some point, probably in a dream that was meant as a (vague) premonition. I like your use of the Leadership feat. Osbourne is fleshed out just enough to give him substance without taking up a lot of space. Having your wife as a follower is a little on the odd side, but acceptable. These are solid allies, as are the members of the community. Milo could probably also count the members of his parents’ community among allies, which gives a DM a nice, varied group to work with. You have a lot of good enemies and adversaries for a DM to work with – you have orcs, and there’s two gangs/guilds that dislike Milo. That’s good stuff to work with, and gives the DM some variety. One thing I would’ve liked is to have seen a name given to at least the gang leader Milo and Osbourne betrayed. That makes him more personal if (heh... which really means “when”) the DM has him reappear. I liked your background overall – it was touching, and it more or less explained his skill set. I also like first person narratives for backgrounds; I find them interesting. There was one detail missing, though. How did Milo and Seraphina meet? That strikes me as an important life event missing from his background. One other final question that would need to be answered if this was a PC joining my game. Milo seems awfully comfortable in his current life; presumably, you’re making this character to serve as a PC. What could motivate him to leave behind his church/school and head out on the road again? A very solid entry! Kudos! *grumble, grumble psionics* :P Mechanics: Skills: By my calculations, you have a bunch of unspent skill points. So, here goes a big ugly list and chart: I have your first 6 levels in psion, and your 7th level in fighter – though I don’t think the exact order matters, as long as psion is first. At first level, your Int mod was +3, and a psion gets 2 skill points per level. So First level you’re getting 20 skill points, and 2nd and 3rd you get 5 each. Fourth level, your Int bonus went up to +4, so for 4th-6th levels you have 6 skill points per level. Seventh level is your fighter level, and you also get 6 here (though a different skill list). So that’s a total of 54 skill points available. Here’s how I spent your skills: Skill 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th total ranks Bluff 1 1 Concentration 4 1 1 1 1 1 9 Intimidate 1 1 Know (dun.) 4 4 Know (psi) 4 1 1 1 1 1 9 Prof (brewer) 4 4 psicraft 4 1 1 1 1 1 9 survival 1 1 2 4 20 4 4 4 3 3 3 Now, that’s actual ranks; so we need to double the costs of the Survival skill, which adds another 4 to the total. So I show you spending 45 skill points – you have 9 left. Am I missing something? 50 Arrows (50 gp) This price is incorrect. Twenty arrows cost 1 gp, so 50 should cost 2 gp, 5 sp. I can’t even figure how you got to a cost of 50, to be honest. Expensive arrows in the underdark, I guess. :P Other than that stuff, your numbers and other stats look good to me... Background: Quick Hits: Yay for physical description. Not a whole lot of mention to his family – they dislike him being a brewer, and that’s all we know. When Moradin’s your ally, who else do you need? :P Some extra allies would be good. Well, there’s definitely a tiny bit of animosity towards illithids. Hopefully, a DM who gets this character is looking to run an underdark campaign, otherwise he’s going to have a tough time fitting in. I like your character, and I think you have an interesting method of making him a “divine servant.” I especially like how his astral constructs take on the appearance of deceased family members.I’m not actually convinced he could escape from mind flayer enslavement – but it works as a flavor element well enough. Does he resent being left for dead by his mates from his original adventuring party? Has he sought them out at all since his escape? There’s some potential there for a DM to work with, but that DM needs to know how Gredand feels to plan the action accordingly. I sense one pretty hefty disconnect between your stats and background/personality. Gredand’s Charisma is in the tank, even for a dwarf. Yet overall he seems to be a likable sort. It seems to me his personality and such in this instance doesn’t match his Charisma. I might’ve matched up OK when he was a drunkard, but now that he’s sober, he needs something else – gruffness, rudeness, lack of social graces, whatever – to explain why his Charisma is a 6. Well, you have the unenviable position of really having two characters to review. This could be really good for you, or really, really bad. Any mistakes in your cohort are going to drag your scores down. You can also expect to see a new “rule” in HC3; we don’t need cohort stats. Taking Leadership is OK; going forward, though, the only stats we need for a cohort would be name, race, class(es), level(s). You’ll also to integrate the cohort into your character’s background story. So, let’s see what we find... Mechanical: Note: Brooch of Persuasion is modeled after the Circlet of Persuasion from the DMG. The Circlet price seems to have the uncustomary space limitation built into it, so I just kept the same price but moved the space from the head to a brooch. If anyone has different information this could be changed. To be honest, I’m not sure how the circlet of persuasion is priced. Skill bonuses are typically bonus squared times 100. But this isn’t just a sum of all the skills it adds +3 to; each +3 bonus would cost 900 gp by the formula; but there’re seven Charisma skills (Bluff, Diplomacy, Disguise, Gather Information, Intimidate, Perform, Use Magic Device). That doesn’t take into account turn undead – which is also a “Charisma-based check.” So while I can’t figure out how WotC got 4500 as the price, I’m still going to say it’s price is not increased for being in an uncustomary slot. The headband/helmet slot has an affinity of “Mental improvement, ranged attacks.” Charisma is considered a mental stat, so I would think improving the skills that rely upon it would be its normal usage. But that’s all just me speculating, more or less. quarterstaff (+4, 1d6/1d6) As best as I can tell, this should be +5. Your BAB is +5 and you have no Strength mod. You have a problem with your skills. Specifically, you have too many. I compute that you should have a total of 102 skill points to spend (Rogue = 8, +2 Int, +1 human = 11 per level (44 at first); Bard = 6 +2 Int, +1 human = 9 per level; 44 + 11 + 11 + 9 + 9 + 9 + 9 = 102). Adding up your skills, I’m getting 101 skill points spent. So it’s not terrible, but you have one more skill point to spend (on my spreadsheet, it’s at Bard4 – but who knows where it went wrong, really). Otherwise, your skills check out. And kudos for taking advantage of one of the often-overlooked features of the bard class – having the Speak Language skill as a class skill. The only other comment to make about skills is you missed some bonuses from equipment. For example, you have a masterwork set of thieves’ tools, which should add +2 to your Disable Device and Open Lock checks, but you didn’t factor this in. You also have a climber’s kit – though I can see why you wouldn’t include it in the stat block, since you can’t guarantee you’ll always be able to use the kit. As best as I can tell, your equipment adds up (other than the brooch of persuasion needing to cost more as mentioned above). One note that could result in a discussion (and if so, I’d prefer it to get moved to another thread): Wand of Feather Fall (5 charges) – 75 gp It’s possible that this is the most useless piece of equipment ever – depending on what side of a debate you want to look at. The core rules aren’t super-clear about how long it takes to activate various magic items; you can read the various core rules, then look at this item and come to the conclusion that it’s a free action (which is good) or it’s a standard action (which is bad). The Spell Compendium has – from what I understand, I don’t own the book – a clarification of what the rules mean. According to that book, it takes a minimum of one standard action to activate a wand. If you believe the SC’s clarification of the core rules, this really screws over the wand of feather fall. This didn’t effect your score any – I just thought I’d mention it. What happens with that wand can vary from game to game, depending on how a DM rules. (if anybody cares, in my games, it works like the spell – a wand of feather fall can be activated as a free action). On another equipment note: I enjoy adventurers who have some of the wacky stuff you have – like a grappling hook, caltrops, and so on. Story time. :) My wife and I were playing in a game once; we were low-ish level – like 3rd or 4th. We were trying to find somebody in this large room who was invisible; we were having a bunch of problems, but I forget exactly why. My wife looks at her character sheet, then declares, “I pull out a bag of flour and throw it in the direction we think the thief is hiding.” The DM’s jaw hit the floor, and she scrambled to dig out her copy of my wife’s character sheet. Sure enough, sitting there on the equipment line ever since we first made our 2nd level characters was “bag of flour.” It was awesome! :D Anyway... back to the competition... Background: Quick Points on Kennis: I don’t see a physical description of Kennis. He has a ton of siblings; as a DM, I’d almost be required to pull some sort of plot hook from here. :) You have a named mentor, and you have plenty of ex adventurers who all make good allies. There’s implied enemies (the people he’s stolen from). Naming an adversary, though, is always better in my book; that way when a DM uses it, it feels stronger. At least to me. Quick Points on Mach: You didn’t describe Mach, either. You don’t mention anything about Mach’s background – but I won’t hold that against you, like I will stat block errors. :) So on to the more detailed stuff... Kennis Vedelia's is the 5th of 12 children. ... His mother died giving birth to the youngest, Kennis was 9 at the time. Aside from the typo in the first sentence (you don’t need the “’s” on his name), this math is a bit questionable. While it’s certainly possible – especially if you factor in twins or even triplets – this pretty much means his mom popped out 7 kids in 9 years. Yikes! No wonder she croaked! ;) Overall, your background was good; there’re a handful of typos and such, but they aren’t terrible. Kennis has an interesting personality, and he’d likely be a ton of fun in a campaign. There’s definitely material for your DM to work with in your background. There’s the whole family angle to it – 11 siblings is a lot. Kennis still sends money home, so presumably he’s still on good terms with at least his father. How does he get along with the other siblings? A quick note to that effect gives your DM some ideas to work with. As it is, the DM needs to invent as many as 11 people if he’s going to take advantage of this large family as a plot hook. You have some solid allies; first and foremost is his mentor, Thad. DMs can do lots of things with mentors, ranging from, “Hey, do me a favor” to “ZOMG! The BBEG has kidnapped your mentor and is threatening to kill him at midnight in a horribly gruesome ritual to his dark god!” You also have unnamed allies, since Kennis parted company with several adventuring bands on good terms. Having a bit more detail would be good, but it’s still something for a DM to work with to help personalize games to you and your character. Kennis has a goal, too – though it’s pretty open-ended. “Learn stuff.” It’s something to work with. At the minimum, a DM can toss some old books into a treasure pile; even better, though, would be if your DM took that and developed a whole “seeking enlightenment” type campaign arc for Kennis. One thing your background severely lacks is enemies and adversaries. I mean, surely somebody has crossed him over the years – especially after he’s gained seven levels. Perhaps a worshipper of Vecna pursues him, because Kennis knows a secret and the Vecna worshipper either wants to learn it, or wants Kennis to forget it. Or maybe there was one adventuring party that Kennis didn’t get along with. He can’t get along with everybody in the world, so give a DM something to work with. As a final comment on your background: I really felt your connection to the contest was weak. Basically, it consisted of the line: Kennis has stated, on several occasions that his objective is to, “Seek after the divine glory of intelligence and knowledge.” If I yank that one sentence out of your background, nothing about your character changes – and even worse, I then can’t tell he’s a “divine servant.” I think what you went for was cool, and I think Kennis is a cool character. I’m just not convinced you hit the theme of the contest as well as you could’ve. And now for comments on Mach’s stats... Attacks: mstrwk rapier (+5, 1d4, 18-20/x2), masterwork dagger (+5, 1d3, 19-20/x2), masterwork shortbow (+10, 1d4, 20/x3), sap (+4, 1d4), dagger (+4, 1d3, 19-20/x2) First, “sap” isn’t on your equipment list; now, the cost is zero, so that’s not a problem. But I’ve known DMs that have said if it’s not on your equipment list, you can’t use it. Also, remember that daggers can be thrown; also remember that halflings get a bonus on thrown weapons (and slings). You should probably include the attack number for when you decide to toss daggers (+11 for the masterwork, +10 for the regular) Skills: I’d like to see Listen on your stat sheet; it’s sometimes hard to remember you have a +2 racial bonus, so having it down makes it easy to remember. Jump is another skill you should have down, because you have a lot of stuff going on. You have your racial bonus, and you have a penalty because your speed is less than 30. Getting those sorts of skills onto your character sheet makes it easier when they come up in game. You have the same issue here as you did with Kennis in regards to adding your bonus from the masterwork thieves’ tools into your stats. Masterwork dagger (2) – 304 This should be 604. A dagger costs 2, a masterwork dagger costs 302. You doubled the dagger price, but not the masterwork price.
JasonOrlandoHawk 10-02-06, 05:41 PM	Thanks everyone for this competition. I had quite a bit of fun. I thought everyone's characters were fantastic, and I sincerely doubted my odds of winning. My compliments especially to Gredand Forge who gave me quite the challenge in my bid for the gold. I particularly like your character since he neatly smashes the "Psionics and Religion don't mix" stereotype. Well done. 1st place did not come easy. Still, thank you to all participants. I personally think everyone did quite well. As to the judges, thank you for taking the time to run this contest, as well as judge it. I'm sure that it wasn't easy, and we appreciate the time you took to do all of that hard work. I'm not the most adept at using these boards, but if you PM me, it would be a pleasure for me to assist in future contests. I'll probably need a little help in using the boards, but other than that, I shouldn't have any difficulty. Again, thank you for your hard work. Once again: It was fun! Thanks everyone! "May Yondalla protect you, as you protect others!"
Kit_the_Odd 10-02-06, 10:02 PM	Thanks for the comments. As far as the mechanics errors and questionabales (brooch of persuasion :P , I thought this might be an issue) I can only claim that I expected another day to clean things up. Darn you all and your Greenwich Mean Time tricks! :D The wand of feather fall actually has a story behind it that I meant to include. It is not to save from falling as is typical. I envisioned Kennis and Mach doing a lot of non-combat dungeoneering and caving type things and tried to show that in the equipment. See the climbing kit is for going up, the wand of feather fall is for going down in a quick and easy manner. Sure you could climb down, but sometimes you just want to step off the cliff and get to the bottom the easy way.:D
Kit_the_Odd 10-02-06, 10:04 PM	And I knew Kennis was a stretch for "divine servant", but it was just such a fun idea I had to run with it. Thanks again.
JasonOrlandoHawk 10-02-06, 11:10 PM	Quick Question: Are the other judges going to post their comments now that the competition is over, or should I PM each judge for individual messages? I'd really like to see all of the comments, if the judges have the time. Of course, if you're rushed, no big deal. Just thought I'd ask.
TheChilliGod 10-03-06, 02:32 AM	Uhm, I'd prefer to be PM'ed for any comment requests, personally. I've had bad experiences with people always correcting me, justifying their actions in front of me, and in some cases flaming me for any comments I make while judging, so keeping such comments to a minimum is something I've taken to.
Mercurius 10-03-06, 09:43 AM	:tantrum: Silver? Again? Lousy skill point addition failures! :banghead: I swear they all added up fine originally, but I had to redo them quickly so that I had accounted for my ranks in survival, and I didn't get the time I was expecting to have to recheck everything. Heh. I guess I have 50 Masterwork arrows, in hindsight. I was going by the prices listed in the DMG, since I didn't have my PHB on my when I was getting most of my gold spent... And who's to say whether or not I couldn't have killed an Illithid. After all, I was able to completely take on four ogres with this guy and his party in the World's largest dungeon when we were only 2nd level. Pretty amazed by that, honestly. Oh, well... As Dr. Claw always said, "Next time, Gadget! NEXT TIME!"
Zherog 10-03-06, 10:31 AM	And who's to say whether or not I couldn't have killed an Illithid. Sure. Like I said, it works fine for a background point. It's not nearly as far-fetched as the background I once got for a 1st level character that talked about how she saved her villiage from a dragon by slaying it. :D