Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Doopliss 03-14-06, 11:53 PM	The first round of Hero Craftsmen is finally here! Hero Craftsmen is a two-round competition. The first round involves the creation of the stats & background for a character; the second round involves the utilization of said character in a random scenario. You may decide whether you want to enter the second round or not. Do note that the Code of Conduct is in effect for all aspects of this contest, and those who break it will be disqualified, and may get a stern warning from a WizO. ***----*** Round 1: 1) All entries proceeding to the second round must be submitted with a complete stat block of any format or length, (so long as the stat block is complete, including stuff like equipment, skills, special abilities, spells usually prepared etc. Use average rules to calculate hit points.) accompanied by a character background also of any format or length. 2) All entries must be submitted by the date and time given by Doopliss; any entries submitted late will not be judged but they are still allowed to be commented on by other users/judges, and may provide a valuable resource to players out there. 3) One Entry Per Creator, and that creator must be the submitter (IE-all work has to be original, and not stolen from someone else.) It would also not be very good if you posted your entry up for comment only. 4) Unlike the MDMC's, there will be no 'optional elements' that must be followed, or that will grant you bonus points. The only restrictions is that you must only use core material, or material found in the SRD, in creation of your character's stat block, and the character must be created using the 28 point-buy system, as discussed in the DMG pg169, with the recommended character wealth as discussed in the DMG pg135 (more specifically, table 5-1). 5) The use of Psionics, Item Creation rules, Epic Characters, and anything else in the SRD is allowed, with a 'cushion' of XP specified at the beginning of round one for anything that might require XP loss. Anything else is forbidden as of yet. 6) Points will be awarded (see below for details) for how well the judges think the character is done. Entries from each of the judges will be added up to give a final score. Naturally, entries with the highest points shall win. The judges may also debate and vote on a single entry to earn a bonus point for whatever reason; this bonus point is merely to make out an 'honorable mention' of the competition, and is not likely to make an impact on the results themselves. 7) Judges reserve the right to subtract points from entries that do not adhere to these above rules; and to disqualify entries as they see fit. Additionally, submitters may ask to have their entry's score PM'ed to them. 8) You may edit your entry as many times as you wish within one hour after it's origionally posted. Should it be editted after that time, the entry will be disqualified. Scoring General (0-8 points): This is, quite simply, what we think of the character in general. Legibility of the stat block, and compliance with the rules, will come under this heading. Story-telling (0-6 points): This reflects how well-done the background is, if it will grip the reader's attention or not, and how much is covered of the character. Originality (0-4 points): If we see something that copies Pun-Pun or Drizzt word-for-word, you're not getting many points in here. If you can find a new and gripping twist to the above concepts that make them seem new and innovative (as with any other concept), more points shall be awarded. ***----*** Round 2: 1) For this round, you must have submitted a character to the judges for inspection beforehand. This submission may come from the first round of the contest; it is up to you. One restriction, however, is that the submitted character must be of the level specified by the judges at the beginning of the competition, with a proper stat block as described above. 2) This round involves the completion of a "mission," which is basically a quest. Each player will play out his characters actions to the DM, which will be any one of the judges, via PM's or, if both the players and the judges allow, chat programs. Times of playing will be at times of mutual advantage to both the judges and the player, or merely PMing back and forth as individual timeframes allow. 3) The mission will play out just like any other PbP or Chat/PM-based game, where the DM will announce the scenario each PM to the player, who will respond with his character's actions. 4) In the first PM the player makes to the DM, the player can specify whether or not he wants his actions to be viewed publicly, so he may rely on the other users to back him up if the judges (as human beings) make errors. At the end of the mission, all PMs will be posted on the thread, and is made open to the public to comment upon. The player can also PM the judges to request that a specific action or ruling be made public, to be subject to approval or disapproval by the forum users. 5) At the end of the mission (whether finished or failed), all PM's regarding the mission (including facts regarding the mission, such as Total Hit Point Loss) will be sent to the other judges, who will then judge the character's actions, and give points based on that judgment. All impromptu rulings made in the competition are subject to the other judge's approval at this time; a majority vote will overturn the ruling, as will overwhelming support from other forum users. Once the ruling is made, it is FINAL. 6) Once again, judges reserve the right to penalize points for certain actions, or to disqualify the player for whatever reason. This decision is made before the judges reply to the player in question can also be made public and open to appeal. Additionally, submitters may ask to have their entry's score PM'ed to them. Luck Each player has a pool of 'luck' that he can spend for his character or against the enemy at any time. The luck pool can decide the number on any die rolled, before modifiers are added. You may only use the luck system if you need to roll higher than a 3 (on a d20) or, in the enemy's case, lower than an 18. Using the luck system works a lot like the point buy system; the cost will grow somewhat exponentially as the desired number gets higher, up to the maximum or minimum number as allowed by the die rolled. Note- 4/17 means "To roll a 4 for you, or a 17 for the enemy" Number on the die 4/17 5/16 6/15 7/14 8/13 9/12 10/11 11/10 12/9 13/8 14/7 15/6 16/5 17/4 18/3 19/2 20/1 Point cost to get 1 1 2 2 3 3 4 5 6 7 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 For non-d20 dice, one luck point is charged per 1/6 margin of the die rolled (rounded down), starting from the minimum/maximum number allowed. For example, to roll a 3 on a d6, 2 luck points are needed. If you have completely run out of luck, from that point onward you can only roll 1's on any roll (and your opponents the maximum number on any roll against you.) Also, please note that the player must decide each and every roll made using this system. (Exceptions will be made for situations with much too many dice rolls to possibly merit calculating each one individually) Scoring Resource Expenditure (0-7 points): This details how much of anything you used up during the mission, including hit points, consumables, ability drain, negative levels, and so on. Risk (0-10 points): This is a measure of how risky your actions are; the less risk involved, the better. Running through a field of orcs with weapons is considered risky, as is a tactic requiring a natural 20. Using stealth to avoid encounters (depending on the measure of stealth) is not risky. Interest (0-7 points): This is a measure of how interesting and memorable your character's performance is. Vividly describing your actions, characters performing action stunts, that sort of thing. Roleplaying (0-4 points): This is how well your character meshes with the stat block the judges were given; proper roleplaying of mental stats and alignment, as well as marked personality, that sort of thing. Death/Failure (-10 points): If your character dies or fails to complete the mission for whatever reason, we shall deduct 10 points from your total score. Also, please note that awards from rounds 1 and 2 are completely unrelated. They're both completely different contests. [sblock=changes since last rendition]Brilliantly simplified by TheChilliGod. Zherog, TheChilliGod, and me will be judging. Come April 10 we will no longer be accepting submissions. If there are any entries un-judged at the time, they will be judged before the rankings for Round One are shown. Round two will begin at an unspecified time, but I wouldn't hold your breath. If you're interested in continuing to the second round, the required level is 4, and you're 100 XP above the level 4 limit for purposes of Item Creation and other xp-costing factors. Best of luck to all entries. :) EDIT: Updated rules to clarify certain things.
Zherog 03-15-06, 08:13 AM	Zherog's Big List of Entries Xaxor Kanquilnes (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=8734959&postcount=24) by Xaxor Shanara Moonshadow (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=8756322&postcount=34) by jennibert Soren Sunstrider (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=8824846&postcount=48) by DisposableHero_ Ashley Merlose (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=8852699&postcount=52) by Mercurius Rudger Volech (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=8855240&postcount=53) by Nephlite Jürgair Windcen (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=8902597&postcount=62) by Jayr Answers to Important Questions So I can use anything to create my character? No. You may only use information from the core rulebooks, and the SRD. Does this include psionics? Yep. They're in the SRD, so that makes them fair game for a character. What about item crafting? Those are OK as well. Characters start with 6,100 XP - 100 more than is required to reach 4th level. If you spend more than this 100 XP, remember that your character needs to be 3rd level. Can I use setting specific stuff in my character? Sort of. The mechanics of the specific settings (feats, classes, etc) are off limits, since they're not core or SRD material. However, feel free to incorporate any setting information into your background as you desire. I'm a player, and so I don't have access to the DMG. How much can I spend on equipment? 5,400 gp Should I plan to go solo, or with a team? That's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? ;) The judges, at this time, aren't revealing any information about round 2. Your character should be viable in a variety of different situations, should be able to be part of a team, should be survivable of alone, and so on. Where can I send my bribe money to the judges? Contact judges via PM, and details can be worked out. :smirk:
TheChilliGod 03-17-06, 01:15 PM	:bump: It's been two-1/2 days now, and not a single entry. Heck, not a single post. ... :tantrum: What is wrong with you people? Have we offended you or something?* Usually people jump at the chance for a happy competition, and make their wants known so that we don't feel completely neglected! Sure, some of you could be making a character background right now, but so far all we know is that this topic has ~80 views, but nobody even cares enough to make a lousy comment. Nobody has cared, ever since Doopliss set up a little topic two months back requesting comments and judges on these boards; 8/11 of the posts there were his, two were mine. Only one other user had the guts to actually make a comment. If you think this competition suxxorz, At least say so! If you are entering a character in now, At least say so! If you couldn't care less about what happens in yet another player competition attempt, then gosh darnit say so! [/rant] *-Aside from that last question, I mean.
HappyDragon 03-17-06, 02:26 PM	TheChilliGod is such an angry judge. :P Ok, ok. Fine, you have successfully stirred the pot. That and I would hate to think you're wasting your time with this little competition, which by the way is a cool idea. It's just that April 10th is a long way away. LET IT BE KNOWN THAT HAPPYDRAGON WILL ATTEMPT TO JOIN! :fight!: questions still pending Cheers. :)
Doopliss 03-17-06, 04:35 PM	Actually, I started it by PMing Zherog and ChilliGod asking if either of them were concerned about the amount of posts. ;) Take all the time you need, though.
psionichamster 03-17-06, 04:40 PM	all right...i'm in. you need a background, stats, statblock, etc. for a 4th lvl ANYTHING GOES character? w/ core rules/SRD? psionics/itemcrafting rules? setting specific rules apply? or are these generic-world characters? finally: the character designed should expect to go solo? or not? thanks for any clarifications...when i learn what you'll need i'll begin working on a concept. namaste' the hamster
Doopliss 03-17-06, 09:24 PM	you need a background, stats, statblock, etc. for a 4th lvl ANYTHING GOES character? w/ core rules/SRD?Correct, though if this works out I'm considering allowing non-core items/classes. (On a case-by-case basis) psionics/itemcrafting rules?Both are perfectly acceptable. setting specific rules apply? or are these generic-world characters?If it's not core/SRD, it's not allowed at the moment, though whatever setting you want is fine for a background. (Assuming it is, in fact, D&D. ;) ) finally: the character designed should expect to go solo? or not?You should expect nothing. Each mission will vary, and could be pretty much anything. You could be alone, you could have a horde of undead slaves at your disposal. Expect the unexpected, if anything. (On a similar note, don't count me as above adding templates to, or otherwise messing around with your characters for the second round, provided it remains relatively balanced between the classes.) Hope that answers your questions. Good to have you aboard. :)
Doopliss 03-18-06, 10:21 PM	UPDATE: The Rules have been simplified by TheChilliGod, and are now possible to read.
psionichamster 03-19-06, 05:42 AM	ok...working on the char now... will post when completed namaste' the hamster
Zherog 03-19-06, 09:10 AM	The "FAQ" has been updated with information.
jennibert 03-19-06, 03:36 PM	So, anything from the SRD, huh? Does that mean I could make a tiefling? 3rd level, of course, since she'd be a lvl ajdustment +1 race...should I still use the 4th level gold, or drop her down to 3rd since she'll be only at her third character level? Also, she's the daughter of a character I played in my fiance's home brew campaign and has a lot of campaign specific info in her background. I know you said any setting, but does that include home brew? Thanks for letting me know. I hope this Player competition goes better than the last one that blew itself to bits...I loved the character I submitted to that one and would have loved to actually have gotten judged.... (One more question, slightly off-topic...how do you do the sblocks?)
Zherog 03-19-06, 03:59 PM	So, anything from the SRD, huh? Yep. Does that mean I could make a tiefling? 3rd level, of course, since she'd be a lvl ajdustment +1 race... Yep, and you're correct about including the LA. should I still use the 4th level gold, or drop her down to 3rd since she'll be only at her third character level? Standard rules say ECL determines starting gold, so you would still get the 4th level amount. Also, she's the daughter of a character I played in my fiance's home brew campaign and has a lot of campaign specific info in her background. I know you said any setting, but does that include home brew? As long as it makes sense. (One more question, slightly off-topic...how do you do the sblocks?) The code is sblock. it's like any other tag - you need a begin and close tag, the tag goes inside square brackets (these: []), and the close tag has a / in front of the word. Here's a sample - quote my post to see it in action: good luck to everybody who enters.
jennibert 03-19-06, 04:28 PM	Thanks, Zherog! I appreciate the quick answers. I'll include a quick background on the setting with my post so that people know about the gods and such that I mention. I'm writing up her character history now.... :D
jennibert 03-19-06, 07:14 PM	Another question or two: How should we determine hit points? I'm assuming that we should probably use average hit points, or is there some random roller we should use to get them? Also, will we be allowed to edit our characters once we've put them up? To fix grammer mistakes, for example? I've got my character pretty much ready to submit, just waiting on the answers to my questions... Thanks!
Doopliss 03-19-06, 07:23 PM	How should we determine hit points? I'm assuming that we should probably use average hit points, or is there some random roller we should use to get them? Also, will we be allowed to edit our characters once we've put them up? To fix grammer mistakes, for example?Both good questions. Average hit points are used, and you're allowed to edit your entry within one hours of your origional post. Will add to the rules.
Xaxor 03-19-06, 09:26 PM	Ok, this has me interested. Already have my stats, classes and hp. But I'm trying to figure out a semi-magical item I might want. It's a nonmagical pendant with continual flame cast on it, but the flame can be turned on or off with a command word (standard action). Would you like to price this yourselves?
Lokiyn 03-19-06, 10:45 PM	Interesting, i have a couple of quirky ideas, is material from the varients section of the Srd valid?
jennibert 03-19-06, 11:31 PM	Thanks again for answering my questions so quickly! I thought I had my character ready, but I'm not happy with one of the sections, so it'll probably be a day or two until I get her in.
Zherog 03-20-06, 08:25 AM	Interesting, i have a couple of quirky ideas, is material from the varients section of the Srd valid? Anything from the SRD is fair game, yes.
Mercurius 03-20-06, 10:37 AM	I'll throw my hat into the ring here too. I've got a character I'd like to enter, though it'll take me a day or so to stat her up. I've already got most of her background done...
Zherog 03-20-06, 12:06 PM	Anything from the SRD is fair game, yes. I'm going to clarify. Anything in WotC's version of the SRD is fair game. link to WotC SRD (I think) (http://www.google.com/url?sa=U&start=2&q=http://www.wizards.com/D20/article.asp%3Fx%3Dsrd35&e=14911). If somebody would be kind enough to verify that link is correct, I would appreciate it. The WotC site (everything except the boards) is blocked by the webfilters at work. :bored: Open Game Content added to other SRDs (such as the variants on this version of the SRD (http://www.d20srd.org) are only fair game if you can find the same information on the WotC one. Sorry if I wasn't clear earlier.
Doopliss 03-20-06, 12:54 PM	Ok, this has me interested. Already have my stats, classes and hp. But I'm trying to figure out a semi-magical item I might want. It's a nonmagical pendant with continual flame cast on it, but the flame can be turned on or off with a command word (standard action). Would you like to price this yourselves? Hm, let's see. By RAW, (Wondrous item rules) the cost would be Spell Level(2) times Caster level(3), times 1,800, plus 50 for the material component, equals 18,050 GP... Apparantly, it wouldn't be a command word wondrous item... Okay, let's try that again. Everburning Torch costs 110 GP. The pendant would be worth a fair bit more than a torch, so let's bump it up to 120. Add a command word, and it would be ad hoc plus 50 GP, which would make the item worth 170 GP. Is that reasonable?
Zherog 03-20-06, 01:15 PM	No, that's not reasonable. ;) There's big differences between an everburning torch and a magic item with an "on/off" switch. An everburning torch can be dispelled, since it's just a plain torch with continual flame cast on it. An everburning torch (more or less) requires you use one hand to occupy it. The proposed magic item has an "on/off" switch; the torch must be put away or otherwise obscured to turn it off. Those are the biggies, at least. Your first price (10,800) is certainly too much. I have no disagreement there. But to call this magic item only 170 GP is way too low. Personally, I'd be in favor of ruling you can't create items that don't exist. The pricing guidelines are wonky in a lot of places (continous true strike or cure light wounds for example). There's way too much guess work involved in fairly pricing an item.
Xaxor 03-20-06, 02:21 PM	Ok, never mind then. I just changed it to an Everburning Torch for simplicity. Now for my character: Xaxor Kanquilnes CR 4 6100 XP Male Elf Fighter 2/Rogue 2 CG Medium Humanoid(Elf) 5'2" 106 lbs. Init +3; Senses Listen +6, Spot +6; low-light vision. Languages Common, Elven, Draconic AC 20, touch 13, flat-footed 17 hp 28 (4 HD) Fort +6, Ref +7, Will +2 Immune sleep Speed 30 ft. (6 squares) Melee Mwk Rapier +7 (1d6+1; 18-20/x2) or Melee Mwk Light Mace +7 (1d6+1; x2) or Melee Mwk Throwing Axe +7 (1d6; x2) Ranged Mwk Throwing Axe +7 (1d6; x2; 10') Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft. BaseAtk +3; Grp +4 Abilities Str 12, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 13, Wis 9, Cha 12 SQ Sneak Attack +1d6; Evasion; Trapfinding Feats Combat ExpertiseB, Dodge, Iron Will, Weapon FinesseB Skills Balance +10, Bluff +6, Diplomacy +10, Handle Animal +3, Jump +10, Listen +6, Ride +3 Sense Motive +4, Sleight of Hand +10, Spot +6, Tumble +10 Possessions: +1 Darkwood Heavy Shield, Mithril Chain Shirt, Mwk Rapier, Mwk Light Mace, Mwk Silvered Throwing Axe, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds[2], Cloak of Resistance +1, Backpack, Bedroll, Waterskin, Four days of Trail Rations, Everburning Torch, 7pp, 2gp. 9 sp Hook "A smile is stronger than a sword." Xaxor Kanquilnes is a dashing figure even for an elf. His midnight blue cloak seems to draw in light and contrasts sharply with his pastel green tunic and breeches. His boots are made from a soft brown leather, his hair is raven black, and his eyes a deep emerald. He is quick to laugh and is often amused by the littlelist thing. He is a consummate juggler, drawing items from thin air and returning them just as quick. He can act rashly at times, but is quick to rectify the situation. His father and mother were travelling minstrels, and helped instill his lifelong wanderlust. His parents returned to their shared home before he was born, so he might be raised in an elven setting. His parents did not look down upon the other races, but it was the proper thing to do. His mother often sang to him as he grew, and Xaxor often hums a soft tune. His parents returned to the road when he was psysichally mature, but the three always returned to an elven community during the long winters. Xaxor favoured the rapier over the longsword, finding a deep well of agility he could draw from easily. His father taught him how to make use of that agility, tumbling and dancing about as he sparred with others. Xaxor's parents retired to their home community shortly after Xaxor's hundredth birthday. He asked for their blessing fifteen years later, to travel the world and learn as much as he could. They granted it, and Xaxor has been on the road for five years now, but he visits his parents at least once every two years.
Doopliss 03-20-06, 03:05 PM	An everburning torch can be dispelled, since it's just a plain torch with continual flame cast on it.Who dispells an Everburning Torch?An everburning torch (more or less) requires you use one hand to occupy it.More or less indeed. A player could likely bore a hole in bottom of a torch, slide a chain through, and wear it around his neck. Not advisable and looks incredibly stupid, but he could.The proposed magic item has an "on/off" switch; the torch must be put away or otherwise obscured to turn it off.Which, if I'm not mistaken, takes a standard action at most. You're also very unlikely to stow/take out a torch in the middle of combat, so round requirements are pretty much irrelevant. As far as discretion goes, muttering a command word is about as noticable as stowing it. If this was a normal campaign then, yes, I'm giving it to him awfully cheap. In this case, with torches costing 1 cp, it seems too pricy if anything. Comparing it to a normal Continual Flame'd pendant it cannot be dispelled, doesn't take a standard action to turn off, (Though I suppose in many situations you could just clasp your hand around it.) and is generally more convenient in mundane situations. Doesn't seem like it would be worth anything more than a 110 gp increase to me...Personally, I'd be in favor of ruling you can't create items that don't exist. The pricing guidelines are wonky in a lot of places (continous true strike or cure light wounds for example). There's way too much guess work involved in fairly pricing an item.I would agree with you, and definitely see where you're coming from, but unique items are great for character backgrounds. In the case of such benign things as exotic lighting methods, I'm willing to take the time to work out a fair (Or at least half-decent) price. EDIT: I had to do some chores, so it was in the posting interface for a long time and didn't notice Xaxor had already posted his character...
Zherog 03-20-06, 03:21 PM	Who dispells an Everburning Torch? Anybody who opens up combat with a dispel magic. A targetted dispel magic on the guy carrying the everburning torch has a chance to end the effect, basically putting out the flame for good. An area dispel magic has a chance - though it's a lesser chance since each person in the area can only lose one spell. Basically, an everburning torch is an ongoing spell effect and follows all those rules. The same would hold true for casting continual flame on an amulet and wearing it around your neck. I have no problems with that. But once you cross into the land of making it an actual magic item, a whole different set of rules begin to cover the interaction of the item with the world around it.
Doopliss 03-20-06, 06:11 PM	But once you cross into the land of making it an actual magic item, a whole different set of rules begin to cover the interaction of the item with the world around it.I suppose you're right... Still, I don't consider 'un-dispellable' to be worth that much GP when applied to lighting... Not that it matters, now. :)
Xaxor 03-20-06, 06:41 PM	I would like to compete in Round 2 as well. Sorry, but I forgot it in my last post.
Walking Dream 03-20-06, 07:32 PM	I would like to enter the competition, but I do not have the actual core books and would be running on the official SRD. My problem is that I cannot find the standard wealth table on the SRD. Can anyone tell me the starting wealth for a 4th level character so I can start?
Doopliss 03-20-06, 08:49 PM	5,400 gp. :)
Walking Dream 03-20-06, 08:55 PM	Thanks Doopliss :D .
Xaxor 03-21-06, 05:58 PM	Bump and subscribing.
psionichamster 03-21-06, 09:10 PM	creation update: classes chosen, gear laid out, abilities being firmed up should have him up tomorrow namaste' the hamster
jennibert 03-22-06, 09:56 PM	All right, here's my entry. It's kind of long, so I'm going to break it into a couple of sections. And I am interested in Round 2 as well. Background on Setting (setting devised by Mercurius): The story takes place in the country of Kerubina, a theocracy dedicated to the worship of Alran-Kor, the LN god of Honorable Battle. Shanara’s mother Misery is from the capital and largest city, Tollone. The second largest city in the country is Bladegash, home of the Brande Military Academy. This is a low level setting. There are few clerics powerful enough to even cast raise dead, and even then the spell is not guarateed to work as the LN God of Life and Death is loathe to upset the cycle of life. (For example, when Misery retires, she’s about 8th level (2 of them fighter levels), and yet she’s one of the highest ranking clerics in Bladegash.) The only gods mentioned in this story are Alran-Kor and Baumol. The former is the LN God of Honorable Battle, who teaches that we can overcome the conflict that is an inherent part of us through discipline and order. Protection of those who need it and fighting honorably are some of his main teachings. Baumol is the NE God of Poison and Corruption. Worship of this deity is illegal in Kerubina, but his clergy are still there. Apart from his clergy are the Corrupters, an evil paladin variant (from Dragon) who seek to insinuate themselves into a society and then convert the people therein to evil and worship of Baumol. Baumol teaches that the world is corrupt and that you must help yourself as no one will help you without wanting something in return. Character History: For the first time in her life, Misery Mulligan was happy. She had begun life as the illegitimate daughter of a prostitute, and was now a respected cleric of Alran-Kor and one of the top cadets at the prestigious Brande Military Academy, even the leader of her unit. And what was more, she was in love. Eliot Pentant was everything she’d never thought she’d find—sweet, kind, smart, and easy to talk to. He was the most popular person in the school, always there to help everyone with their problems. In fact, he was helping Misery through a minor crisis of faith that she had been having, but the problem was not severe enough to ruin her joy in her position or her love for him. But then her world fell apart. The Thousand Tears Bible, an artifact of malevolent chaos, took over the body of one of her classmates and wreaked havoc through the city of Bladegash. Misery and her unitmates managed to defeat the evil, but not before many of their classmates were killed, including Misery’s beloved Eliot. Heartbroken, Misery chose to go with her classmates to the south to defeat the halfling death knight whose undead legions were ravaging the countryside, even though she knew herself to be pregnant. Misery’s daughter Shanara was born after her return to Bladegash a few months later, but there was something odd about the baby. She appeared perfectly human, but there was an aura about her that many people found unnerving. Misery’s research revealed the problem with her child: Shanara was a tiefling, presumably as a result of the unbridled evil wild magic and hordes of undead Misery had fought while pregnant. As the daughter of a high-ranking member of the Church of Alran-Kor, Shanara grew up never wanting for anything. Her mother, always afraid of the evil undertones that were an inherent part of her daughter’s nature, was always strict but fair, and did her best to encourage any good things that Shanara might do. So Shanara was a bright and happy girl, friendly as her father had been, though she had few friends. The otherworldly aura she projected as a tiefling made people inherently uncomfortable around her. Only a few people seemed not to be bothered by it, and one of them was Stellan Moonshadow, who eventually married her mother. Stellan loved Shanara as his own, even after her two younger brothers came along, and she revered him as the only father she’d ever known. By the age of fifteen, Shanara was attending a preparatory school in Bladegash, with the intention of going to the Brande to train as a paladin. She had felt the call to paladinhood since a young age, and felt that the strict code was also a good way to control her inherent evil tendencies as a tiefling. She was out with her class one day, learning about keeping the peace, when the group happened upon a unit of the Bladegash City Guard responding to a murder scene. The class followed along to observe, and came upon the victim…Stellan Moonshadow. Shanara felt her perfect world breaking apart, but she did not cry then. Instead, she requested permission to visit Misery at the temple and give her the news herself, and then held her mother as she cried. Shanara changed after that, much more serious and protective of her mother and two younger brothers, especially as Stellan’s murder remained unsolved. A part of her even considered giving up her plan of going to the Brande so she could help her mother, but Misery wouldn’t hear of it, and Shanara entered the academy at the age of eighteen. The night before she moved into the school barracks, Misery took Shanara out for dinner, just the two of them, and warned her that not all people are as they seem, and that she should be careful of whom she got close to. When Shanara protested that she knew that, and she was a pretty good judge of character, so what did it matter? “Because I was the same,” Misery replied. “I was not naïve when I entered the Brande, and I’m an excellent judge of character as well. But I was still taken in by the smoothest, most wonderful liar I’ve ever met: Eliot Pentant.” And Misery for the first time told Shanara the truth about her father. Eliot had been an evil paladin of Baumol, the God of Poison and Corruption, and had been using the secrets his classmates confided in him to corrupt them to evil and the worship of his vile deity. Misery herself had been close to giving up her faith in Alran-Kor as a result of his machinations. Misery had already begun to suspect him because he was the only one who could have corrupted another of her classmates, but couldn’t bring herself to believe it until the Thousand Tears Bible told her the truth as an attempt to demoralize her, and then killed him before her eyes. “And what’s more, he’s probably still out there somewhere. His body was stolen from the temple before he was questioned by speak with dead spells. I imagine his church did manage to have him raised from the dead, since he was extremely effective against us,” Misery mused, her face filled with pain. Shanara saw then that, even after nearly twenty years-- and knowing what he really was—a part of Misery still loved Eliot. Shanara spent the next three years studying hard at the Brande and making a name for herself as her mother had before her, but her focus had changed. She had always planned on going into the military upon graduation, but the pain in her mother’s eyes changed her mind. Her mild unholy aura would have made her an inefficient military commander anyway, so upon graduation she set out into the world, determined to find and redeem her father and bring him back to her mother. Physical Description and Personality: Shanara is of slightly above average height for a human woman, and solidly built. She has medium brown skin, with thick golden hair that she usually wears loose to her shoulders. Her eyes are a calm, friendly brown. She wears impeccably clean full plate decorated in the blue and white colors of her god, and her wooden shield diplays his holy symbol--a sword chained to a shield (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/discipleofsakura/DnD/Alran-Kor-Symbol.jpg). A high quality sword hangs at her side, and she has a bow and arrows slung at her back. Shanara is a serious, soft spoken young woman. While generally friendly and easy-going, she is slow to trust people in general, and has trouble making friends. Once someone has earned her trust, she is extremely loyal and protective. Shanara generally does not trouble to hide her positive emotions, but keeps her negative feelings under tight control. This is particularly true of anger, as that emotion is capable of making her consider foregoing her paladin code and giving in to the evil that is her inherent nature. (Not that Shanara has actually given in; being raised by LG cleric has given her a very sound moral base from which she resolutely does not deviate. But she remains fearful of her evil-touched nature anyway.) Generally speaking, however, Shanara is a pleasant person seeking to help whomever she can while she fulfills her self-appointed quest to find the man who fathered her. She is always willing to help someone in need, though she prefers to attempt to redeem the evil she encounters rather than to simply kill it. After all, she herself is of an inherently evil race, and she’s a paladin. Unless specifically asked, Shanara allows people to believe she is human. Stats: Shanara Moonshadow Tiefling paladin 3 (dedicated to Alran-Kor, God of Honorable Battle) STR 14 (6 points) DEX 10 (0 points, +2 racial mod) CON 13 (5 points) INT 12 (2 points, +2 racial mod) WIS 13 (5 points) CHA 14 (10 points, -2 racial mod) (6+5+2+5+10=28) AC 21 (10 + 9 (armor) + 2 (shield)) HP 24 (10+5+6 (2*average of d10 (5.5)) +3 (con)) Armor Check Penalty: -6 Racial Abilities: Darkvision, darkness 1/day, resistance to cold 5, electricity 5, and fire 5. Type: native outsider. Class Abilities: Aura of good, detect evil at will, smite evil 1/day, divine grace, lay on hands 6 HP per day (pal 3 x +2 cha), aura of courage, divine health Languages: Common, Infernal, Celestial (2 automatic, 1 bonus from +1 int) Feats: 1st level: Negotiator 3rd level: Weapon Focus(longsword) (favored weapon of Alran-Kor) Skills: Bluff +4 (+2 cha, +2 racial) Diplomacy +10 (4 ranks, +2 cha, +2 synergy (sense motive), +2 Negotiator) Hide -4 (+2 racial, -6 armor check) Knowledge(religion) +4 (3 ranks, +1 int) Knowledge(nobility and royalty) +4 (3 ranks, +1 int) Ride +2 (1 rank) Sense Motive +9 (6 ranks, +1 wis, +2 Negotiator) Saves: Fort: +6 (+3 base, +1 con, +2 cha) Ref: +3 (+1 base, +0 dex, +2 cha) Will: +4 (+1 base, +1 wis, +2 cha) Base Attack Bonus: +3 Grapple: +5 (+3 BAB, +2 str) Attacks: MW longsword +7 (+3 BAB, +2 str, +1 weapon focus, +1 MW) Damage: d8+2 (+2 str) MW mighty composite longbow (str +2) +4 (+3 BAB, +0 dex, +1 MW) Damage: d8+2 (+2 str) Gear (5400 gold pieces in value): Carried on her person: Wooden holy symbol of Alran-Kor (1 gp) MW longsword (315 gp) MW mighty composite longbow (str +2) (600 gp) +1 fullplate (2650 gp) MW heavy wooden shield (157 gp) Wand of cure light wounds (50 charges) (750 gp) 2 scrolls of create water (25 gp) 3 oils of magic weapon (150 gp) 2 potions of shield of faith +2 (100 gp) 1 oil of bless weapon (100 gp) Flint and steel (1 gp) 2 flasks holy water (50 gp) waterskin (1 gp) 149 gp, 8 sp Carried on her horse: Heavy horse (200 gp) Riding saddle, bit and bridle, saddlebags (16 gp) 8 days trail rations (4 gp) 50 ft hempen rope (1 gp) bedroll and blanket (6 sp) 10 sheets of parchment (2 gp) ink pen (1 sp) 2 vials of ink (16 gp) 2 lbs soap (1 gp) sewing needle (5 sp) small steel mirror (10 gp) Pardon the length...I have a lot of history with both Shanara and her mother, and tried to condense it as much as I could. I'm waiting to hear what you think!
Doopliss 03-22-06, 10:14 PM	Misery, Cleric school, daughter of a prostitute... Sounds familiar. Not that I discourage that sort of thing. :)
jennibert 03-22-06, 10:26 PM	Misery, Cleric school, daughter of a prostitute... Sounds familiar. Not that I discourage that sort of thing. :) Yeah...I had a great time playing that character. I'd have entered her again instead, but her build really relies a bit too much on non-core feats and such.... I'd have also linked to the post on Misery, but dropped my subscription to the thread and didn't care enough to even try to find it:) But I am very glad you remembered her!
screwup907 03-22-06, 11:50 PM	Alright you guys caught my attention so I'm going to start building the character that I've had swimming around for the last few weeks. Will be submitted sometime in the near future.
Blazinghand 03-24-06, 07:19 PM	Well, just a heads-up, I will submit an entry in the next few days; this looks challenging and entertaining.
Feriin 03-26-06, 09:37 AM	I will make an entry. Not sure how good it will be since I like do hack and slash. This will be a little challanging. Just testing
Doopliss 03-26-06, 09:57 PM	You... Have an sblock in your sig... Why do you need to test?
Mercurius 03-27-06, 09:29 AM	I've gotta spend my gold and maybe add in something to my character's back-story, but I've got the meat of the character done...
Zherog 03-27-06, 11:06 AM	You... Have an sblock in your sig... Why do you need to test? Maybe the sblock wasn't in his sig until after the test was successful? :D
HappyDragon 03-29-06, 01:21 PM	:bump: bumpity goodness. Trying to decide between 3 different characters. Will nail it down this weekend and post something next week. Cheers. :)
miss_bun 03-29-06, 04:06 PM	o heck, ill give it a shot. :P later tho. ^_^
Zherog 03-31-06, 11:34 AM	:bump: Remember, kids - don't try this at home. I'm a professional. :P :P :P
DisposableHero_ 03-31-06, 02:18 PM	reservation removed because it was pointless :D
Zherog 03-31-06, 02:42 PM	8) You may edit your entry as many times as you wish within one hour after it's origionally posted. Should it be editted after that time, the entry will be disqualified. So, Disposable, reserving a spot isn't really worthwhile - unless you plan to post the character within an hour of the reservation, that is. ;)
DisposableHero_ 03-31-06, 05:40 PM	Soren Sunstrider Soren Sunstrider was born, if you can rightly call it that, into slavery on the scorching sands of the Ashdrift Desert. Soren was brought into this world not by a mother or father, but by arcane forces, crossing the best traits of the two dominant races of the region, humans and sand giants. Soren was created by the sorcerers of Ashdrift’s largest human kingdom, Sulentai, and in their service as a laborer and soldier he toiled for many years. Soren is unsure of exactly how long he spent in slavery to the Sulentaian empire, for it was not until long after that he was taught the significance of marking the passage of time. Soren, under Sulentaian banner fought in numerous battles against the sand giant tribes that often raided Sulentaian cities, eventually falling captive to the raiders who represented the second half of his unusual heritage. Soren thought little of his captivity among the sand giants, having merely exchanged one set of cruel masters for another. He found little difference between the lashes of giants fists and human whips. The sand giants however, had much less use for physical labor than the humans, and instead employed the slaves they captured in a more dangerous endeavor, mining valuable crystals from the networks of unstable and collapse prone caverns that ran under most of the Ashdrift Desert. It was while performing such a task that Soren was inadvertently and instantaneously set free. The cave in which Soren worked collapsed about him and his fellow slaves, burying most of the less hearty human workers in sand and razor sharp crystals. Soren however, in a stroke of miraculous luck, survived the cave in, finding himself unable to return to the giant settlement. Battered and covered in bleeding wounds most still bearing the razor sharp crystals that caused them Soren wandered the winding network of caves beneath the desert for many days before coming upon the surface again. Exhausted and starving, but most startled of all to see that the burning sands he had known all his life were gone, Soren quickly collapsed on a mountain trail and likely would have died there. Fortune however, once against smiled on the Half Giant, as he was happened upon by a caravan of dwarven traders. Taking pity upon the helpless form, the dwarves tended to Soren’s wounds allowing him time to recover, as they journeyed north to their homes. After his recovery, Soren quickly befriended his rescuers, having known no kindness in his life before them. On the months long journey from the mountains where he was found to the northern kingdom home to Dwarven traders Soren came to learn what he now knows of the civilized world. The perilous journey, saw Soren fight beside his rescuers many times, earning their respect and camaraderie. By the time of their arrival in the Dwarven kingdom Soren had come to speak their language fluently, and was welcomed as a valued friend of the dwarven community. Soren has since taken up a hermitic residence in close proximity to the dwarven fortress that is home to the traders who initially took him in. He has adapted quickly to survival in the wild, though not so quickly to the cold, his desert upbringing made life in the tundra a shock initially to say the least, and he still brings many extra blankets and heavy cloaks with him. He carries with him two tokens of the friendship shown to him by the Dwarves, the first a fine suit of plate armor, the second, a gift upon reaching the Dwarven Kingdom is his sword, its blade forged from the crystals the dwarves removed from his wounds when they found him. Soren is a mountain of a man, standing just over eight feet tall with a body reflecting a life of hard labor and battle. His skin is deeply tanned and his eyes a light blue like the sky of a sunny day. His hair is overgrown and untended, a beard also present on his face from neglect. Soren bears many scars on his back both from the deep wounds inflicted upon him by the falling crystals during the cave in, and from the whips of his masters prior. His face is battered and weathered by the trials of a hard life, but one really couldn’t say if Soren looks old or young for his age, as even he is not sure how old he actually is. Soren’s personality is Dwarf like, and this is how he is most often described. He values hard work, honesty, and loyalty among friends. He rarely complains about anything, taking each challenge with a quiet determination. He speaks Common and Dwarven though he is better at the Dwarven tongue and has developed a dwarf like accent. He is introverted, keeping to himself and is very quiet in the company of anyone but close friends, he meditates frequently and lives in solitude. He is very direct when he speaks, never having learned the finer points of diplomacy and social interaction. This tends to get him in trouble when speaking to people who expect a measure of tact and sensitivity, and is another reason why he prefers dwarven company, as they rarely bother with niceties when there is a problem at hand. Soren’s psionic talents are a result mostly of his warrior training in Sulentai, though he has taken steps through meditation to try and improve his control of his abilities. He views these talents as gifts, and as a representation of his warrior spirit and determination. Soren hates slavery above all things, he is determined to end slavery whenever he encounters it, and believes all slavers to be garbage deserving of nothing but swift death. Neutral Good Half Giant Psychic Warrior 3 Stat Score Mod Cost Strength 18 [+4] (16 base +2 racial – 10 points) Dexterity 10 [0] (12 base -2 racial – 4 points) Constitution 16 [+3] (14 base +2 racial – 6 points) Intelligence 10 [0] (10 base – 2 points) Wisdom 14 [+2] (14 base – 6 points) Charisma 8 [-1] (8 base – 0 points) Point Total: 10+4+6+2+6+0 = 28 points Armor Class: 18 (10 +8 Armor), Touch 10, Flat Footed 18 Temporary AC Modifiers: +4 Shield Bonus (Force Screen), -1 Size and -1 Dex (Expansion) Hit Dice: 3d8 + 8 (psionic body) +9 (con) – 34 hp Saves: Fortitude: +6 (+3 Base +3 Constitution) Reflex: +1 (+1 Base) Will: +3 (+1 Base +2 Wisdom) Attack: Large Masterwork Deep Crystal Greatsword +7 melee [+2 base +4 strength +1 masterwork] (3d6+6, 19-20) - +2d6 damage by expending psionic focus (Psionic Weapon) - +2d6 damage by spending two power points for 1 minute or until successful hit (Deep Crystal) Huge Masterwork Deep Crystal Greatsword +7 melee [+2 base +5 strength -1 size +1 Masterwork] (4d6+7, 19-20) (under effects of expansion) - +2d6 damage by expending psionic focus (Psionic Weapon) - +2d6 damage by spending two power points for 1 minute or until successful hit (Deep Crystal) Large Masterwork Mighty Composite Longbow +3 ranged [+2 base +1 masterwork] (2d6+4, 20/x3) Huge Masterwork Mighty Composite Longbow +1 ranged [+2 base -1 dex -1 size +1 masterwork] (3d6+4, 20/x3) (under effects of expansion) Racial Abilities: Giant Type, Low Light Vision, Fire Acclimated, Powerful Build, Naturally Psionic Psi-Like Abilities – 1/day – Stomp, ML 1, Save DC 10 (Charisma Based) Feats: Psicrystal Affinity (Single Minded) (1), Psionic Body (Psychic Warrior 1), Psionic Weapon (Psychic Warrior 2), Psionic Talent (3) Psionics: Psychic Warrior Manifester Level 3, Save DCs 12 + Power Level (Wisdom Based) 10 Power Points /Day (3 Base +3 Wisdom +2 Naturally Psionic +2 Psionic Talent) Powers Known 1st – Force Screen, Expansion, Chameleon Skills: 12 total skill points Concentration +12 (6 ranks +3 constitution +3 single minded psicrystal) Speak Language (Dwarven) (2 CC ranks) Psicraft +2 (2 ranks) Survival +3 (2 CC ranks +2 wisdom) Climb +6 (+4 strength +2 Climbers Kit) Equipment: Worn: Masterwork Full Plate (1650 gp) Cold Weather Outfit (8 gp) Large Masterwork Deep Crystal Greatsword (1400 gp) Large Masterwork Mighty Composite Long Bow [+4 str] (900 gp) 40x Large Arrows (4 gp) 2x Belt Pouch (2 gp): 2x Powerstone of Float (50 gp) 2x Powerstone of Animal Affinity (300 gp) 2x Powerstone of Chameleon (50 gp) 2x Powerstone of Expansion [ML 3] (150 gp) 310 gp 5 sp 8 cp Backpack (2 gp): 5x Potion of Cure Light Wounds (250 gp) Hooded Lantern (7 gp) Lamp Oil (3 pints) (3 sp) Bedroll (1 sp) 4x Winter Blanket (2 gp) Explorer’s Outfit (10 gp) Handaxe (6 gp) Dagger (2 gp) Climbers Kit (80 gp) Heavy Horse (200 gp) with Pack Saddle (5 gp): Iron Pot (5 sp) Trail Rations (10 days) (5 gp) Flint and Steel (1 gp) Whetstone (2 cp) 200 ft Hempen Rope (4 gp) Feed (10 days) (5 sp) Psicrystal Diminutive Construct Hit Dice: 3 (17 hp) Initiative: +2 Speed: 30 ft, Climb 20 ft Armor Class: 17 (+4 Size +2 Dex +1 Natural) Touch 16, Flat Footed 15 Base Attack/Grapple: +2/-15 Attack: -- Full Attack: -- Space/Reach: 1 ft/0 ft Special Attacks: -- Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Hardness 8, Improved Evasion, Single Minded Personality, Self Propulsion, Share Powers, Sighted, Telepathic Link, Deliver Touch Powers Saves: Fort +6, Reflex +1, Will +3 Abilities: Str 1, Dex 15, Con --, Int 7, Wis 10, Cha 10 Skills: Climb +14, Listen +6, Move Silently +6, Search +2, Spot +6, Survival +1, Hide +24*, Concentration +6, Psicraft -1 Feats: Alertness * - Includes +10 for Chameleon Power This entry is for both parts 1 and 2
RadicalTaoist 04-04-06, 01:21 AM	So...when is this happening? I wanna watch!
Rivelstraz 04-04-06, 01:26 AM	I just want to know if grammar will play an important role in the background part, since English is my third language and when I got to descrive places, events or similar I tend to butcher the language. If I can be assured that judges will have in mind this, I'll submit a character today or tomorrow
Zherog 04-04-06, 08:25 AM	Rivelstraz - really bad grammar (the kind that makes a post unreadable) will likely cost you some points, likely in the "story telling" section of your entry. Now, that doesn't mean I'm going to go around and knock of points for every misspelled word, and every little grammar rule that's been violated. If I can make sense of your entry, things'll be fine. If I have to really struggle to read it, then the story, unfortunately, will suffer a little bit. Everything I've seen of your posts so far - including the one I'm replying to - has been fine. Does that make sense for my point of view, or should I clarify some more?
Mercurius 04-04-06, 12:10 PM	Alrighty, then. Here's my entry: "Once upon a time, the duke and duchess Merlose of the duchy of Serra were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. Dubbed Ashley Merlose, she was a sight to be seen, and all the members of the court were sure that she would one day be wooed by the greatest men of the kingdom. Her hair was as fair as straw, her eyes as blue as a tranquil pool on a cloudless day, and her skin pale as cream. She was intelligent as well, voraciously learning everything her private tutors could provide for her. "In her youth, she was fascinated by the histories of holy knights and tales of the handsome princes who fought against evil and injustice. Whenever her duchy was visited by a noble band of adventurers, she would do her best to witness their processions through the streets and hear tales of the evil they had vanquished. She watched the young lads of the court, including her brother, Sydney, as they sparred with their instructor, and often times she would sneak into the practices herself. Her poor strength left her ill-suited to defeating her fellow students, but there were a few occasions when she managed to land the telling blow. Nevertheless, her beleaguered parents would do their best to constrain this unbecoming behavior, scolding their daughter for her defiance. It was this behavior that lead to duke Merlose demanding Ashley never cut her hair short again. "If her participation in the boys' formal sword training had been problematic, the young Ashley's zeal for righteousness proved to be far worse. Her inquisitive nature, so promising in her studies, also lead her to skulking about the court, uncovering hidden secrets and indiscretions and airing them for all to see. Many were the advisors and nobles who suffered embarrassment as their minor dalliances with the help were whispered behind their back. Far too much of their fellow noble's hard earned gold was spent avoiding a stint in the local stocks as their questionable business practices were discovered by the town guard. "Finally, poor duke Merlose had been pushed to his wit's end. He and his wife agreed to send Ashley to the wizarding academy in the countryside, hoping that the instructors of the rigorous school would work some discipline in to her head. Ashley was sent off and lost herself in her new studies, spending hours perusing the tomes of knowledge and histories that her professors provided. A gifted apprentice, she focused on the arts of divination in the hopes of learning more about the secrets that the unrighteous might keep hidden. Her professors did their best to prohibit access to the more complex and dangerous spells that she might learn, and eventually she began to feel confined in the academy. At night, she would slip out of her bedroom and wander the hills around the academy, practicing her sword arm with a scavenged piece of wood. It was during one of these nocturnal jaunts that Ashley met Callo. "Callo was a young but experienced copper dragon who had taken up residence in the hills of the kingdom. At first, Ashley had been fearful of the great wyrm, but they quickly became fast friends. From then on, Callo and Ashley would spend hours in his cave, discussing the finer points of chivalry and swordplay, as well as the arcane arts. Callo allowed Ashley to read through his library to her heart's content, and they passed the months in each other's company while Ashley confounded her instructors with her rapidly growing knowledge of magical techniques not covered by their curriculum. "It was in the summer of her 19th year that Ashley received the news of her betrothal. Duke Merlose had found a suitable suitor for his daughter. The intended noble had large vineyards in the south of the kingdom, and the dowry he had offered the duke was quite extraordinary for such a rambunctious daughter. However, the ever defiant Ashley quietly refused to be married off to some unknown nobleman, and instead concocted a plan for her escape. She called upon Callo's aid, and after explaining her plan to him, the dragon's uproarious laughter echoed throughout his cavernous lair for no less than five minutes before subsiding. Once Ashley's hearing had returned, the jovial copper dragon agreed to her plan, and she immediately made preparations for her escape. "Not long after, the students of the academy were lead on a nature excursion, and the instructor noted that Ashley seemed far more excited than he had seen her before. He mistakenly took this as a good sign. As the students and their horses travelled the winding hills towards the forest that was their destination, Callo, in the guise of a red dragon, swooped over the hills and snatched Ashley away, disappearing into the horizon before nary a spell nor arrow could retaliate. "Ashley was deposited some leagues away, in a neighboring kingdom. She summarily cut her hair and bound her breasts, adorning herself in the clothes of a nobleman. With a parting goodbye to Callo, she took his generous gifts and set out into the world, to right wrongs and fight against evil, just as the knights and princes she had always wanted to be. "Since her daring escape, Ashley has traveled neighboring lands, seeking out wrongs and battling against those who would prey upon the weak. She has fought highway men, orcs, and even managed to best an ogre. Tales of her adventures have reached Callo's ears, and he is proud of his pupil and friend, though he's not seen her since those days almost a year ago. Ashley has maintained her noble bearing and strives to uphold her principles. She was instrumental in the uncovering of a cult dedicated to overthrowing the small barony of Adagast, and helped the knights of the baron in the assault against their covey. Though the leader of the cult, an Ogre Mage by the name of Lore'kur, escaped, Ashley was commended for her efforts. She has since departed the barony, searching for more wrongs to right." Ashley Merlose, human diviner, dresses as a young nobleman. She carries herself as a noble, chivalrous warrior, wielding her rapier with little skill but much determination. She holds to the tenets of the noble paladin, tithing gold to the needy and showing mercy where she can. She maintains her male disguise, and she appears as a teenage nobleman of fair features with a soft voice. She has no intention of returning to her homeland, though she misses her dear brother terribly. Ashley Merlose Human Aristocrat 1/Wizard (Diviner) 3 Strength: 8 Dexterity: 14 Constitution: 12 Intelligence 16 Wisdom: 12 Charisma: 12 Fortitude: +2 = + 1 Base + 1 Constitution Reflex: +3 = + 1 Base + 2 Dexterity Will: +6 = +5 Base + 1 Wisdom BAB/Grapple: +1/+0 Initiative: +6 = +2 Dexterity + 4 Improved Initiative Armor Class: 18 (21) = 10 + 2 (Dex) + 5 (Armor) + 1 (Shield) (+1 Dodge, + 2 Deflection) Hit Dice: 1d8 + 3d4 + 4 (19 hp) Skills Diplomacy (Cha) +10 = 5 ranks + 1 Charisma + 4 synergy Disguise (Cha) +3 = 2 ranks + 1 Charisma Gather Information (Cha) +3 = 2 ranks + 1 Charisma Knowledge [Arcana] (Int) +8 = 5 ranks + 3 Intelligence Knowledge [Geography] (Int) +4 = 1 rank + 3 Intelligence Knowledge [History] (Int) +4 = 1 rank + 3 Intelligence Knowledge [Nobility & Royalty] (Int) +8 = 5 ranks + 3 Intelligence Listen (Wis) +5 = 4 ranks + 1 Wisdom Perform [Violin] (Cha) +4 = 1 rank + 1 Charisma + 2 Circumstance Sense Motive (Wis) +7 = 6 ranks + 1 Wisdom Spellcraft (Int) +12 = 7 ranks + 3 Intelligence + 2 synergy Spot (Wis) +5 = 4 ranks + 1 Wisdom Tumble (Dex) +5 = 3 ranks + 2 Dex Feats 1st Level - Improved Initiative - Dodge 3rd Level - Weapon Finesse Proficiencies All simple and martial weapons. All types of armor and shields. Spellbook (Divination Specialist. Prohibited School Necromancy) 0th Level All cantrips except Disrupt Undead and Touch of Fatigue 1st Level - Truestrike* - Magic Missile - Protection from Chaos/Evil/Good/Law - Detect Secret Doors* - Color Spray (100 gp) - Expeditious Retreat (100 gp) 2nd Level - Web - See Invisibility* - Protection from Arrows (200 gp) - Cat's Grace (200 gp) Spells Per Day 5*/4*/3* (*Includes one bonus Divination Spell) (10% ASF) Save DC 13 + spell level Typical Spells Prepared 0th - Resistance, Acid Splash, Detect Magic*, Read Magic*, Flare 1st - Truestrike*, Magic Missile, Protection from Evil, Magic Missile 2nd - Web, Protection from Arrows, See Invisibility* Equipment (5,400 gp total character wealth) +1 Mithral Chain Shirt (2,100 gp) - +5 AC bonus, -0 Armor Check Penalty, 10% ASF MW Rapier (320 gp) - 1d6 damage, 18-20/x2 crit, finesse MW Composite Shortbow - (375 gp) 1d6 damage, 20/x3 crit +20 arrows (1 gp) 2 Oil of Magic Weapon (50 gp each) Mithril Light Shield (1,009 gp) - +1 AC bonus, -0 Armor Check Penalty, 0% ASF 4 Potion of Cure Light Wounds (50 gp each) Courtier's Outfit (30 gp) + Courtier's Jewelry (50 gp) Courtier's Outfit (30 gp) + Courtier's Jewelry (50 gp) Explorer's Outfit (free) Andrinor, Light Warhorse (150 gp) + Bit & Bridle (2 gp) + Riding Saddle (10 gp) + Saddlebags (4 gp) Everburning Torch (110 gp) Spell Component Pouch (5 gp) Spellbook, Wizard's (free) MW Violin (100gp) Pouch, Belt (1 gp) Soap (1 lb) (5 sp) 3 Empty Flasks (9 cp) Bedroll (1 sp) Blanket, Winter (5 sp) Caltrops (1 gp) Ink (1 oz vial) (8 gp) Inkpen (1 sp) Rope, silk. 50 ft. (10 gp) Waterskin (1 gp) Whetstone (2 cp) Tent (10 gp) Rations, trail. 5 days (25 sp) Antitoxin vial (50 gp) Club (0 gp) Disguise Kit (50 gp) Remaining Money: 19 gp, 1 sp, 9 cp
Nephlite 04-04-06, 05:47 PM	I would like to take part. This will be myfirst attempt on a Psychic warrior. I would like to go to the second round. Rudger Volech ECL 4: 6100 XP Dromite (fire caste) Psychic warrior 3 (LA 1), Age 17. CN Medium monstrous Humanoid. Height: 3'4 Weight: 38 lbs. Init +2. Languages: Common, Carrying Capacity: holding: 27 armor, 11 weapon, 5 haversack (carries rest)= 43lb. Max light: 37.5 lb. AC: 24 (3 NA, 1 size, 1 Dex, 8 Full Plate, 1 buckler), touch 12, flat-footed 23. Temporary AC Modifiers: -1 Size and -0 Dex (Expansion) HP: 23 (3 HD) Con bonus + 2/level. Saves: Fort +5, Ref +3, Will +2. Speed 15 ft. (3 squares) Small size: 1. Melee Mwk Morningstar +4 (1d6+1; x2) 3lb, Blunt/pierce. 2. Melee Mwk silver Glaive +4 (1d8+0; x3) 5lb, reach. Slash. Medium Size: 1. Melee Mwk Morningstar +3 (1d6+2; x2) 3lb, Blunt/pierce. 2. Melee Mwk silver Glaive +3 (1d8+2; x3) 5lb, reach. Slash. Ranged: 3. Ranged Dart: +5 (1d3+1; x2; 20') ammo:12. 3lb Pierce. Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft. Base Atk +2; Grp -1. Melee: +4 Range: +5 Abilities Str 13, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 10 Class abilities/features: Racial: -2 Str, -2 Wis, +2 Charisma. +3 NA, Fire resist 5. Scent. Small, compound eyes, Natural psionic. 1/day, fire Energy ray, Manifestor ½ HD = 1. Damage 1d6 +1. Feats: 1. Dodge: +1 dodge to AC versus one opponent. 2. Sidestep Charge: +4 dodge versus charge atks, plus atk of opportunity if miss. 3. Psionic Weapon: Use Focus, gain +2d6 damage on 1 atk. 4. Psionic Talent: +2 pp. 5. Blindfight (racial) Skills: Concentration +8, Swim +2, Climb +4, Autohypnosis +5, Spot +3 Armor check penalty: -5: Lowers Climb to -3; Swim to -8. To gain Focus: DC 20. Possessions: Masterwork Fullplate, Masterwork Buckler, four days trail rations, waterskin, backpack, 2x bags caltrops, flint + steel, 5 torches, Handy Haversack (holds up to120 pounds), Masterwork Morning Star, 12 x Darts. Masterwork silver Glaive. Potion of cure light x4 (1d8+1), Adventurer’s outfit, climber’s kit, Gear: 2288, 5 cp armor: 1785 gold= both: 4073 + weapons: 710 total spent: 4 783, 5 cp Left: 616, 5 cp. Powers: PP total: 3 base, 1 nat, 1 bonus, 2 feat=7 pp. Level 1 powers: 1) Expansion: Base cost 1, Dur: 1 min/ level. (Augmenting possible) 2) Biofeedback: Base cost 1, Dur: 1 min/ level. DR 2/-. (Augmenting possible) 3) Bite of the Wolf: Base cost 1, Dur: 1 min/ level. Motto: Sometimes you are pushed out of the nest...sometimes you are thrown! Description/attitude: Rudger is about average for his height and built for combat easily. He has two broad antennae from either side of his head. They move according to his mood and action : though he never notices. He has no hair, but a thick skin of chitin along his neck, back of head, and rest of body. He wears shiny full plate decorated with warm colors like red and orange to show off his caste. High quality buckler on his right elbow and a shiny glaive on his back. His eyes are bright and yellow insect-like eyes. Rudger is sometimes quick to yell, but he will forgive others without a hassle if they prove themselves. He isn’t very knowledgeable and remains a little naive around friends. He treats those he trusts like one of his extended family. He doesn’t understand where all the antennae of the other races went. He wonders if they were cursed. Background: Was born in a nursery and adopted by his life bonded “parents”, the Volech family. His “parents” were a loving bunch. Strangely, there was only two members in this life bond. They were both Wilders, but Rudger couldn’t stand all the discipline required at controlling his emotions so he chose the path of the warrior instead. He loved being in the city hive, but as fate would have it too many other dromites did also. Thus he was forced to leave and survive above ground. He trained hard for the day he would have to leave. His father taught him about the power of the morningstar, and Rudger learned on his own how to master the glaive. As a gift for his 15th birthday, he received his climber’s kit and a potion of cure light. For two years, he has been fighting and exploring the “upperverse” as he calls it. He has met many friends and made a few enemies. He tries to visit his city-hive once/year at least.
Zherog 04-05-06, 08:27 AM	looks like I need to figure out the psionics rules soon...
Zherog 04-05-06, 08:37 AM	Alrighty - I've edited the first post in this thread to contain a link to all the entries received thus far. If you've posted a character and I don't have a link, let me know. If any links are broken, let me know. Just a reminder that Saturday is the last day for entry. Since Doopliss didn't mention a time, I'll make an executive decision and declare the deadline the 11:59 pm GMT. Hope to see some more entries. :)
TheChilliGod 04-07-06, 04:09 AM	:bump: Nice to see at least 5 entries. But you still got some last-minute time, for those procrastinators out there (I know you're out there; it takes one to know one). Just a reminder that Saturday is the last day for entry. Since Doopliss didn't mention a time, I'll make an executive decision and declare the deadline the 11:59 pm GMT.Saturday? Saturday the 8th? As in, not the 10th, as Doopie said? Surely you must mean Monday. Monday the 10th, which is at the 10th of April. Yes, you must have meant Monday. I can't imagine you getting something wrong, after all. ;)
Zherog 04-07-06, 12:26 PM	Saturday? Saturday the 8th? As in, not the 10th, as Doopie said? Surely you must mean Monday. Monday the 10th, which is at the 10th of April. Yes, you must have meant Monday. I can't imagine you getting something wrong, after all. ;) GAH! I claim innocent by reason of sleep deprivation! ;) Yes, Monday the 10th at 11:59 pm GMT. Entries posted after that time will not be scored. Also, if I missed adding your entry to the master list at the beginning, please don't read anything into it. It does not mean you've been disqualified, nor that I hate you, nor is it a sign that the end of the world is upon us. It simply means I failed my Search check to locate your entry when I scrolled through the posts. Nudge me - nicely - in a PM and I'll go take 20 on my Search check. :D
Doopliss 04-07-06, 07:17 PM	A heads-up to all would be competitors, we will only be accepting submissions for three more days. Best of luck!
turalisj 04-08-06, 11:58 PM	Kniver, the kobold ninja. Kniver: Male Kobold Ninja4;CR4;Medium humaniod(reptilian);HD3d6+1;hp: ; init+2;Spd30ft;Ac16;
Zherog 04-10-06, 12:52 PM	Roughly seven hours left for entries...
psionichamster 04-10-06, 03:47 PM	ROCK! i thought i had missed the deadline hang in there, true believers... namaste' the hamster
Jayr 04-10-06, 07:35 PM	A vigilante, bounty hunter, and general sellsword-for-a-cause, Jürgair Windcen tries his best to defend the downtrodden. Jürgair is tall and sinewey, with lightly tanned skin. His eyes are dark gray; his reddish-brown hair is messy and unkempt. Jürgair's father's father was a hobgoblin, and Jürgair's large canines and pointed ears betray his inhuman blood. Underneath his chain armor, Jürgair's arms are covered in scars picked up from the many street duels he has engaged in. He wears a hat of disguise in the shape of a black newsboy's hat; he confiscated it from a half-elven enchanter who was using her magic to manipulate others into commiting crimes for her. Perched on his shoulder is a beautiful brown eagle. Jürgair's parents were poor, and he learned his life's trade in the school of hard knocks. In his youth he joined a street gang and extorted money from the citizens of the city. However, when his mother was nearly killed by a stray bolt in a gang battle, Jürgair became guilty and realized that, by being a criminal, he was causing harm to other people just like him. His opponents had families too, and shared his circumstances. And thus, Jürgair decided to work on the side of the law. He took employment as a bounty hunter in the town's militia, and makes a living by hunting down murderers and robbers. He enjoys ambushin criminals and intimidating or bludgeoning them into surrenderring. Jürgair tries not to use lethal methods except on mindless beings and creatures he considers vile to the core. Jürgair greatly dislikes the nobility, who he thinks of as spoiled and unworthy, and he is not afraid to state so. He is a bit of a racist and considers elves and dwarves to be inferior compared to their racial pride-- indeed, pride is the vice which Jürgair most despises. He is also rather gruff and distrustful towards strangers. However, Jürgair is fiercely loyal towards those who have earned his respect. Jürgair Windcen Male human urban ranger 4 CN Medium humanoid (human) Init +1; Senses Listen +8, Spot +8 Languages Common, Goblin __________ AC 17 (+2 Dex, +5 armor), touch 12, flat-footed 15 hp 29 (4 HD) Fort +6; Ref +6; Will +2 __________ Speed 30 ft. (6 squares) Melee masterwork dire flail +7 (1d8+2) or Melee masterwork dire flail +5/+5 (1d8+2) or Melee sap +6 (1d6) Ranged bow of enfeeblement +6 touch (1d6 penalty to Strength) Base Atk +4; Grp +6 Atk Options Combat Expertise, favored enemy (humanoid [human] +2), Improved Trip Combat Gear 2 elixirs of sneaking, potion of cure moderate wounds, potion of darkvision, potion of invisibility Urban Ranger Spells Prepared (CL 2nd): 1st-- comprehend languages __________ Abilities Str 14, Dex 14, Con 15, Int 13, Wis 12, Cha 8 SQ animal companion (eagle, as Drd2), link, share spells, wild empathy +1 (-3 magical beasts) Feats Combat Expertise, Endurance (B), Exotic Weapon Proficiency (dire flail), Improved Trip, Two-Weapon Fighting (B), Urban Tracking (B) Skills Diplomacy +1, Gather Information +8, Hide +9, Intimidate +2, Jump +6, Knowledge (local) +8, Listen +8, Move Silently +8, Sense Motive +8, Spot +8 Possessions +1 chain shirt, masterwork dire flail, hat of disguise, backpack (50-foot silk rope, two pairs of masterwork manacles with good locks, 5 sunrods, 157 gp) Voern (eagle animal companion) N small animal Init +2; Senses Listen +4, Spot +16, low-light vision AC 14 (+1 size, +2 Dex, +1 natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12 hp 5 (1 HD) Fort +3; Ref +4; Will +2 Speed 10 ft. (2 squares), fly 80 ft. (average) Melee talons +3 (1d4) and Melee bite -2 (1d4) Base Atk +0; Grp -4 Abilities Str 10, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6 Feats Alertness, Weapon Finesse (B) Skills Listen +4, Spot +16
DisposableHero_ 04-10-06, 07:36 PM	looks like I need to figure out the psionics rules soon...New Player/DM Guide to Psionics (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=486266) - recommend checking this out, really not a lot to it :D
Zherog 04-10-06, 08:05 PM	Time's up for entries. :) Thanks to everybody who entered. DH - I'll check your link out. I was just gonna plow through the SRD and figure out what I needed.
HappyDragon 04-10-06, 11:46 PM	Curses! When did it get to be April 10th so quick :P ...sigh Also I apparently don't have the slightest clue what GMT means. Eh, C'ést la vie. Thanks to the judges that are doing all the work for this and kudos to those with entries in on time. Look forward to checking out what's been writen so far. Laugh, ridicule or simply ignore this sorry poster's late entry. Fitz Morgan  ...“SILENCE! You blathering infidels. As Fitz Henryhugh Allistor Talis-Weese Morganstorm The 4th Drakkenhood Mystic of the Forbidden Demon Eye you WILL pay heed to my elementary request and heed me the proper respects as befits one such as my glorious position and status commands.” Punctuating his indignation Fitz crosses his long robed arms in defiance to the 6 well armed bandits surroundinghim. The burly leader of the bandits cooked his head to a side eyeing their newly hired mercenary Arcanist with gnawing reservation, “Look mate, we just need you to open the damned door to the loot. We’ve done our job of dispatching the royal bloke’s lap dogs, there’s no one of any consequence that’s going to stop us....Unless of course your reputation to, and I quote, unlock the forgotten mysteries of the netherland of our realm, is all just a sack of...” The sharp look Fitz shoots at the leader stops the man cold. “You dare make light of my infinite powers!” A wind billows from the his robes and Fitz raises his arms in extravagantgesture, “BEHOLD!” The bandits turn away in pain as the intense light burns into their retinas and a devastating crash rings in their ears. Tears stream from their faces as they cautiously return their gaze to thedark robed figure. With the glare of the burn still in their eyes they witness the stoic and unmoved figure of the Drakkenhood Mystic. As if on cue, knowing he has their full attention Fitz sweeps his arm, ushering the bandits to the open door and it’s hidden glimmering contents beyond, “Do not doubtme again heathen.” Not being able to hear their benefactors words, nor really caring, their eyes bulge with greed and avarice as they rush into the reinforced treasure chamber. The last one entering haphazardly pats Fitz on the back as a job well done. Fitz nods slightly, barely containing his own spreading grin, and with smugness of indeed, a job well done, Fitz closes the door once more to the treasure chamber, the arcane locks falling back into place with a satisfying THOOM.. “Heh. LOSERS!” It takes only a moment for the sound of pounding to be heard from the other side of the steel door. Muffled shouts are heard from the treasure room, “What’s that you say? I can’t quite hear you. There seems to be something in the way” Fitz lets out a jovial laugh. “Why should I split the loot with the six of you sods when the bounty on each one of your six heads is more than I would of ever seen.” “...Seven.....”, rolls a low rumble from behind Fitz. Fitz laughs mockingly at the door once more, “No, you silly dolts, I said six ...” A cold chill runs along Fitz’s back as the weight of a large shadow looms from over his blind spot. “....Of... you.........Uh oh” Fitz whirls quickly on his heel to see the brother of the leader towering over him. Rage glinting in the giants eyes, and a large fist smacks into his palm as a promise of things to come. “Oooo, You heard all of that didn’t you?” “You’re going to pay little man” With a quick nervous smile Fitz laughs one last time. The brute lunges for him. Fitz is barely able to escape his grasp as his hood is snagged by the giant’s enormous hands. Fitz quickly contorts his body out of the wizard robes and starts running for the closest exit that doesn’t involve getting within reach of the raging bandit brother. The window. Using the wizard spellbook that he just purchased earlier this week, as a brace to help break the glass, he leaps at it’s pane, crashing through both glass and wood shutters on the outside. As he fell he hoped the band of bandits wouldn’t catch up with him. He hoped the giant man who would like to break his neck doesn’t have any ranged weaponry. He hoped that cute wench at the tavern would bend over a bit more next time he visited. He hoped his mum and sisters were doing well. And he hoped that all the children of the world would live in happiness across the world. But most of all, he hoped that quickly approaching void below him was the castles deep watery moat. He hoped....  Fitz Morgan, current alias Fitz Henryhugh Allistor Talis-Weese Morganstorm The 4th Drakkenhood Mystic of the Forbidden Demon Eye. Was born some 20 years or so ago in a small village overlooked by the usual hierarchy of masters. He led a normal, if ill focused chldhood. Everything was a wonder to him and his curiosity, wit , intelligence and charm was soon to become as much his help as his hinderance. Although working at the tavern his mother wenched at in the evnings, the tavern walls were not enough to hold him during the day and he would often get underfoot of who ever seemd to need a hand. He tried his hand at everything from blacksmithing to apthecary to sheep herding. He also eventally broke the smiths’s anvil, blew up the apothecary’s lab...for the 3rd time and added a grandson to the sheepherder’s get. It’s not that he wanted to mess things up, it just always seemed to happen that way. When the call to arms of the local militia made it’s yearly rounds on Fitz 16th year, only his mum and step-sisters seemed to give any care. His step-father sneered and stated the boy best come back either a man or a corpse, preferably both. The town although outwardly concerned for one of their own, were thankful the lad’s good intentions were finally out of their way. War was a horrible experience for Fitz. Harsh, brutal and bloody. It put muscles on his gawky frame and filled out his shoulders and frame. They taught him how to shoot, scavange and kill. The first two he learned how to do quite well, but he had no taste for blood by the end of it all. But he soon learned how to do something even better. Exploit the horrors around him. Freind or foe didn’t matter to him any more. He knew, in the end they all ended up looking the same way...very dead. He also knew that he too would wind up that way sometime as well and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to enjoy every moment of it before that happened. Two years under the service of his lord and he garnered enough leverage repuatation wise, and money wise to be released from his services. He was to report back to his town, pay the local taxman his share of the fallen bounty and live a dull life in a town where he was barely tolerated. No thank You. Fitz Morgan never made it back to his village. Instead he has set off on his own with what little money, wits, charms and booty he had garnered to live his life as best as he sees fit. He now lives his life always trying for the next great scam and bigger prize. His schemes although sometimes very clever and plentiful are sometimes very risky and he has an unfortunate hait of often missing the obvious details he should of taken into consideration. He’s been wildly successful as often as he’s been nearly lynched by angry marks who’ve discovered his scheme. It’s a helluva life and he loves every moment of it. He does sometimes still miss his mum and sisters....they were a good lot to hang around with. He even tries to secretly send them the occassional bundle of loot or cash, just so they know he’s alrighht and that he still thinks about them. One of these days he’ll return.....as either a man or a corpse. Maybe both. Only time will tell. (*His current scam of choice is using his talents to make people believe he’s a wizard and finding the right angle from that to exploit them for all it’s worth.) Fitz is of average build and height standing around 5'10 with a thick short mop of light brown hair that often has streaks of red running through it. He usually boasts some sideburns and stubbled facial hair which lends well to his wide gregarious smile which has a contagious effect on people. His dark brown eyes have a casual mischievous lurking in their corners which can become absolutely impish and dazzling when in the midst of one of his schemes. He is of average looks but it is in fact his beguiling charm and eccentric wit that leads him to be so successful at what he does. What he does is tell people what they want to hear so that Fitz can take them for all they’re worth. It has taken many different forms over the years, but bottom line is he is a con man. That is what he is.... ....But that s not necessarily who he is. Fitz loves two things in this world. To tinker with things and magic. Problem is he hasn’t got a whit of magic in him and he lacks the focus to study for it. He instead has sharpened his other talents to make his own type of ‘magic’. A quick wit and quicker hands have allowed him to be successful at being a magician. But as good as he knows he can be sometimes, even he is in awe of those rare people who magic seems to run like blood through their veins. He looks at them with both wonder and envy. Fitz tries to be ready for his next con, with a wide assortment of items and clothing he carries around so he may properly adapt to the situation as needed. Mostly he wears what would be best described between a courtier’s outfit and an entertainer’s outfit. It has the rich embroideries and materials of the courtier’s but retains the light casual air and easy movement of an entertainer’s. He has had many of his outfits tailored in such a way to also allow for items that may help with his brand of magic. Some days he has a handkerchief or coin up his sleeve, to a wand or scroll, other times he’s been known to have a dagger or even an animal up another, (One of his on going goals is to try and integrate animals into his ‘show’). He likes colours as much as he appreciates the sharp and simple contrast of whites and blacks. He moves as smoothly and casually as a wave through water. He can almost hypnotize people by using both his captivating voice and elusive and graceful hand gestures. He has a very inquisitive nature and will sometimes try a scheme out of curiosities sake as much as he will for any gold at the end of the rainbow. He is certainly a bit of a scoundrel....It has yet to be determined if he has a heart.  Stats Fitz Morgan Chaotic Neutral Human Rogue 4 Strength 12 (4 points) Dexterity 16 (8 points = 15 base, +1 for 4th level character ability adjustment) Constitution 10 (2 points) Intelligence 14 (6 points) Wisdom 8 (0 points) Charisma 15 (8 points) HD = 6 + 3 + 4 + 3 = 16 Hp Initiative = +3 AC = 10 + 3 + 4 = 17 BAB = +3, Melee = 3 + 1 = +4 Ranged = 3 + 3 = +6, (+7 within 30 ft) Grapple = 3 + 1 = +4 Saves - Fortitude = 1 + 0 = +1 Reflex = 4 + 3 = +7, (+8 in relation to traps) Will = 1 - 1 = +0 Languages - Common, Dwarven, Abyssal Skills = 44 points + 11 points/level after 1st = 77 total skill points Ranked Skills - Ranks - Ability Modifiers - Feats/Synergies Bluff 7 + 2 + 2 = 11 Craft, (Sewing) 2 + 2 = 4 Decipher Script 1 + 2 = 3 Diplomacy 2 + 2 + 2 = 6 Disable Device 7 + 2 = 9 Disguise 2 + 2 = 9 Escape Artist 7 + 3 = 10 Gather Information 2 + 2 = 4 Handle Animal(*CC) 2 + 2 = 4 Intimidate 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 = 8 Knowledge, (Local) 2 + 2 = 4 Open Lock 5 + 3 = 8 Perform, (Oratory) 7 + 2 = 9 Search 4 + 2 = 6 Sleight of Hand 7 + 3 +2 = 12 Tumble 5 + 3 = 8 Use Magic Device 6 + 2 = 8 Use Rope 5 + 3 = 8 ----Other important skills - Listen = -1, Spot = -1, Hide = +3, Move Silently = +3, Balance = +5, ump = +3 Some circumstantial Synergies which have not already been added- — -----From Bluff, +2 bonus on applicable Disguise From EA + 2 onus to Use Rope to bind someone From UR + 2 bonus on Escape Artist checks when escaping from rope bonds From UMD + 2 bonus on Spellcraft checks made to decipher scrolls From UR + 2 bonus on applicable Climb checks Feats - Persuasive - Point Blank Shot - Quick Draw Class Abilities - Sneak Attack +2D6 - Trapfinding - Evasion - Trap Sense +1 - Uncanny Dodge Damage - Dagger, ( Melee = 1D4 +1, Ranged = 1D4, +1 within 30 ft, 19-20/x2, 10ft) -Short Sword, (1D6 +1, 19-20/x2) - Light Crossbow, (1D8, 19-20/x2, 80ft) -Quarterstaff, (1D6/1D6+1) Equipment - Heward’s Handy Haversack, (2 000 GP, 5 lbs) Mithral Shirt, (1 100 GP, 10 lbs) Alchemist Lab, (500 gp, 40 lb) Artisan’s Tools, Masterwork, (55gp, 5 lbs) Disguise Kit, (50 gp, 8 lbs) Spell Component Pouch, (5 gp, 2 lbs) Spellbok, wizard’s (blank), (15 gp, 3 lbs) Theive’s Tools, Masterwork, (100 gp, 2 lb) Clothing - Traveller’s Outfit, (no cost as was first outfit, 5 lb) Courtier’s Outfit, (30 gp, no weighht as is currently worn) Explorer’s Outfit, (10 gp, 8 lbs) Entertainer’s Outfit, (3 gp, 4 lbs) Weapons - Dagger, (2 gp, 1 lbs) x 6, MW, (2 gp, 1lb) Short sword, (10 gp, 2 lbs) x 2 Light Crossbow, (35 gp, 4 lbs) Bolts,, (10), (1 gp, 1 lbs) x 2 Quarterstaff, (----, 4 lbs) Sewing Needle, (5sp, ------) Rope, Silk, (50 ft. 10 gp, 5 lbs) Crowbar, (2gp, 5 lbs) Grappling Hook, (1 gp, 4 lbs) Mirror, small steel, (10 gp, ½ lbs) Rations, Trail, (5 sp, 1 lbs), x 3 Waterskin, (1 gp, 4 lbs) Special Substances and Items - Alchemist Fire, flask, (20 gp, 1lb) -Smokestick, (20 gp, ½ lbs) x 3 - Sunrod, (2 gp, 1 lbs) x 3 - Tanglefoot bag, (50 gp, 4 lbs) - Thunderstone, (30 gp, 1 lbs) x 2 Tindertwig, (1 gp, -----) x 10 Wand of Detect Magic, fully charged, (375 gp, -----) Cure light Wounds, (50 gp, ) x 3 Mage Armour, (50 gp) x 2 Cheers :)
Zherog 04-11-06, 08:05 AM	Also I apparently don't have the slightest clue what GMT means. Greenwich Mean Time (http://www.answers.com/topic/greenwich-mean-time) When it's midnight GMT, it's 8pm DST on the east coast of the US, and 5pm DST on the west coast of the US.
Doopliss 04-11-06, 10:39 AM	I was worried at first, but we got a pretty good turnout. Thank you all for competing. :) Judging will now begin, could the judges please PM me the scores when finished?
Zherog 04-11-06, 01:56 PM	I expect to have scores to you, Doopliss, no later than Friday evening (and hopefully sooner). In addition, around that time I'll also post comments for each entry to this thread (though I will not be posting the scores I gave each entry). Some administrative type stuff: Turalisj's entry has been disqualified for two reasons; first, it failed to follow the entry requirements, and second it used non-SRD material (the ninja class). I wish you would've done things right, actually - a kobold would've been interestng. ;) HappyDragon's entry, unfortunately, was posted after the deadline and therefore won't be judged. However, if I find time, HD, I'll post comments on your entry anyway. The biggest point to this sort of thing is to help folks grow as players, and the best way to do that is to offer you feedback. So I'll see if I can squeeze in the hour or I expect to need to look over an entry. Are there any entries (other than the two mentioned above) NOT on the master list in the second post? Please let me know if I failed my Search check to add your entry as I'll be working off that list!
TheChilliGod 04-11-06, 03:32 PM	Yay! My favorite part of the game; Judging Time! I should have my scores in by this afternoon, or tomorrow morning, and I may or may not submit comments on each design, or just give my opinion to Zherog when he's posting his comments. I haven't looked at all the entries yet, but I hope for some good stories, and I'm on the lookout for any mishaps in the stat blocks that may or may not pop up... On another note, it should be okay for Happydragon's entry to be submitted into round 2 at least. Just a bit of consolidation.
Zherog 04-11-06, 03:50 PM	I should have my scores in by this afternoon, or tomorrow morning, ... Show off! :P :P
HappyDragon 04-12-06, 05:37 PM	HappyDragon's entry, unfortunately, was posted after the deadline and therefore won't be judged. However, if I find time, HD, I'll post comments on your entry anyway. The biggest point to this sort of thing is to help folks grow as players, and the best way to do that is to offer you feedback. So I'll see if I can squeeze in the hour or I expect to need to look over an entry. Coolness. :) Any feedback would be welcome, time admitting of course. On another note, it should be okay for Happydragon's entry to be submitted into round 2 at least. Just a bit of consolidation. Double coolness! Yes I would indeed be interested in the 2nd round, (didn't really state in the entry post because I was late and didn't think it would matter). Thanks Cheers :)
Nephlite 04-13-06, 01:26 PM	I just realized I never added my masterwork bonus to my attack roll. :eek: Oh Well, I hope my entry is pretty good still.
Zherog 04-14-06, 01:05 AM	Just a quick note for everybody... I'm the one holding up the works. I'll have my scores into Doopliss tomorrow. Even if I can't find the time to get it done at work, I'm free tomrorow evening so I could get it done then. Sorry I'm taking so long, gang.
Mercurius 04-14-06, 10:16 AM	Just a quick note for everybody... I'm the one holding up the works. I'll have my scores into Doopliss tomorrow. Even if I can't find the time to get it done at work, I'm free tomrorow evening so I could get it done then. Sorry I'm taking so long, gang. That's okay, Zherog. I can't be mad at anyone who has an avatar of Elan. :D
Zherog 04-14-06, 01:05 PM	Excellent! :D My scores are in. So here's how I tried to score things. I didn't start at the max points and subtract for every little thing I found wrong; nor did I start at zero and add for things that were right. Instead, I tried to objectively look at the character after I was done making my notes. Typos and minor grammar stuff didn't cost anybody points, as long as your entry was still readable. There's lots of folks on this board who don't speak English as a first (or even second!) language, and to nail those folks for little spelling and grammar things wouldn't be fair. In my comments, I tried to point out good things as well as the problems. Just by the nature of the job, though, you're likely to receive more "negative" comments than positive ones. I'm happy to discuss anything with anybody, either here in the thread or in private via e-mail or PM. Finally, before I get on to my comments, I hope folks enjoyed the contest. I'm going to start a thread a little later on for folks to offer feedback about the contest, and make suggestions about future contests. I think we should all tip our hat to Doopliss, for working so hard to get this first contest up and running. :tiphat: So, now, on to the comments! I’m coming up with 3 too few skill points. It’s possible there’s some cross class skill stuff going on, but I don’t think so. Here’s what I came up with: Skill Ranks Ability Synergy Racial Total Balance 5 3 2 10 Bluff 5 1 6 Diplomacy 5 1 4 10 Handle Animal 2 1 3 Jump 7 1 2 10 Listen 5 -1 2 6 Ride 0 3 3 Sense Motive 5 -1 4 Sleight of Hand 5 3 2 10 Spot 5 -1 2 6 Tumble 5 3 2 10 If you add up the first column, you’ll get a total of 49 skill points. By my calculations, you should have 51. I’m assuming your first level is in rogue, so that would be 36 skill points (8+1 for Int, x4); your second level of rogue would add another 9; each fighter level would add 3. In addition, you should have skills listed for Search and Intimidate (at least if you go by WotC’s standards). Search has a racial bonus, and Intimidate receives a synergy bonus. Otherwise, I was able to back into all your stats, so that’s a good thing. You forgot to include the +2 racial bonus to enchantment spells in your stat block. I like the inclusion of a “hook” at the beginning of your story; it helps set a mood, and it gives a player something to quickly look at when thinking how their character might react. I felt your story could’ve been longer. You’re a 4th level character – where did the levels come from? You did a nice job discussing your upbringing, then sort of dropped things. What has he been doing? How long has he been adventuring (since I don’t see his age anywhere)? Your format would be a little easier to read with a bit of bolding or italics to denote the different sections. You also have a typo or two; these didn’t cost you any points, because it didn’t affect the readability (at least for me). If you’d like them pointed out, though, let me know. You have a logistics problem when it comes to running your character. In one hand, you have a shield; in your other hand, you (presumably) have a weapon. So that should make holding your everburning torch during a battle difficult. ;) (this didn’t cost you points). Melee Mwk Throwing Axe +7 (1d6; x2) Ranged Mwk Throwing Axe +7 (1d6; x2; 10') You almost lost points here, before I figured it out. I couldn’t understand why you didn’t include your Strength bonus to the damage. Then it occurred to me – your possessions say the throwing axe is silvered. You probably want to include that up on the attack line. I would have liked to have seen a reason why he carries a light mace worked into his background. I mean, from a metagame perspective, it makes perfect sense. You and I know all about DR of things like a skeleton. I didn’t reduce points for this, though. Your descriptive information about Xaxor is good enough to get a mental picture, so kudos there. Your general equipment seems a bit on the light side to me. I’m used to my players having rope and pitons and caltrops and crowbars and shovels and on and on. I didn’t knock off points – it’s just a general comment. In a similar note, I only show you spending 5,098 gp. I suppose you don’t have to spend all your cash, so I didn’t knock off points for it. Overall, it was easy to read and it was enjoyable. Those are always good things. A bit longer would’ve been nice, though. As a final comment, while it’s generally well written and well built, not much about Xaxor makes him stand out compared to other finesse elven fighters. The concept, of course, is a fun one. I’ve had at least two. Try to see, though, if you can come up with something a little different to make it really jump out from the rest. AC 21 (10 + 9 (armor) + 2 (shield)) I’d like to see touch and flat-footed ACs included, as their pretty important stats to know quickly. Technically speaking, Celestial is not on the list of bonus languages for a tiefling. You could still learn it by spending two skill points on Speak Language; but languages from your Int bonus are supposed to come from the list provided in the race (adjusted for your class – for example, the wizard class adds Draconic to the list). Attacks: MW longsword +7 (+3 BAB, +2 str, +1 weapon focus, +1 MW) Damage: d8+2 (+2 str) MW mighty composite longbow (str +2) +4 (+3 BAB, +0 dex, +1 MW) Damage: d8+2 (+2 str) It’s generally a good idea to list crit multipliers when they’re different from the standard 20/x2 (as both your weapons are). Also, for a nitpick that didn’t really cost you points – the names of the abilities (Strength, Dexterity, etc) should be capitalized, even when abbreviated. Skills: … Ride +2 (1 rank) Something here is a little wacky. I’m thinking it’s actually two ranks, since adding up your skill ranks gives a total of 17 and you should have 18. My overworked mind would like to take this opportunity to thank you for including breakdowns of things such as points spent on stats, how your skills break out, and so on. ;) Unfortunately for my overworked mind, though, I still forced it to double check everything. smite evil 1/day As somebody who is currently playing a paladin, I can safely say that you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble if you include the bonuses to attack and damage right where you list smite evil. In your case, it’s +2 to attack and +3 to damage. You don’t have a speed listed in your entry. It should be 30 ft. base, 20 ft (can’t run) in armor” Your background is solid. I would’ve enjoyed reading a bit more about Shanara’s exploits after school. Presumably, she didn’t gain three paladin levels in school. You covered it a bit, but you probably could’ve used a bit more detail. Just a bit, though. ;) Overall, your writing style is very good. It was quite easy to read, and enjoyable. Do her brothers have names and ages? That’s information that might assist a DM to weave those into his campaign. Did Shanara make any friends while at the academy? What about enemies? Has she made any friends or enemies worth noting since leaving the academy? We know a good deal about her family, and we know her life ambition – all good things for a DM to work with. But you have the chance to give the DM a bit more here. It’s a preference thing from one DM to another, but I personally love it when a player gives me names to work with. Your length wasn’t bad at all. That’s probably because it’s well written. I found your character to be enjoyable. I’ll start off by pointing out that I’ve undertaken a crash course to figure out the psychic warrior for your entry, so my understanding of some of this stuff might be off. That said.. Wow! PsyWar is a really nice two level dip for any build that needs extra feats! :) My overworked mind would also like to thank you for showing your work. ;) And it’s getting really annoyed at me because I keep forcing it to double check things anyway. Your math in the stat block looks good, and your formatting is generally easy to figure out. You don’t have a speed listed in your entry. It should be 30 ft. base, 20 ft (can’t run) in armor” I would’ve liked to see Fire Acclimated listed up under the saves section, but I didn’t deduct any points for not having it there (because it’s really a personal preference thing). I like that the character’s name evokes fire, and I like that his “birth” explains his fire affinity ability. I also like that your mechanics match your story with the purchase of Speak Language (dwarven). Your description is good. You failed to mention hair color (a minor detail) so it’s hard to get a complete image of Soren in my mind. Your writing style is good; you could help yourself immensely by using fewer commas, though. You have several in places where you don’t need them, and it affects the pacing of your work. If you want examples, let me know and I’ll show you a few spots. You were entitled to receive a +1 to any stat at 4th level, but it doesn’t seem to be included. Your entry is missing Ashley’s speed. You don’t list an alignment any where on your character sheet that I saw. I’m gonna take a stab in the dark, though, and guess Lawful Good. If so, that prevents a potential problem with her spell list; casting protection from good is an evil act, as defined in the game. Ashley can certainly still do it, but she would need to be watchful of her alignment, lest she end up becoming neutral rather than good. The same applies for protection from law, just to be complete. This didn’t cost you points for two reasons – first it’s based solely on my supposition, and second it’s not a problem in the rules, just something to be mindful of. Armor Class: 18 (21) = 10 + 2 (Dex) + 5 (Armor) + 1 (Shield) (+1 Dodge, + 2 Deflection) So a few things. First, I would avoid listing the “(21)” as it is random, and can lead to confusion. You only receive the dodge bonus to the target of your feat, and you only receive the deflection bonus after you cast your spell – and even then, only against targets with the opposite alignment. Second, you don’t have your touch or flat-footed AC listed. Perform [Violin] (Cha) Remember that in 3.5, Perform skills are grouped together. In this case, you want Perform (string instruments). You don’t have any languages listed; you should know Common and three other languages. Your feat list doesn’t have Scribe Scroll, which you got for free at first level of wizard. Took me a long time to figure out your skills, but I finally got there. Have I ever mentioned I hate cross-class skill points? ;) By my math, you spent 5,349 gold pieces. Again, we didn’t have a rule that said you had to spend it all, so it doesn’t affect your scores – but I thought it was worth pointing out. Your spellbook is well organized; while I know the spells marked with the asterisk are divination spells, you probably ought to denote that somewhere. It looks like, though, you should have one more first level spell in your spellbook (for free, I mean). At first level you received 6 (3 plus 3 more for your Int). At 2nd level, you received two more free spells of any level you can cast – and since you have all the cantrips, those have to be first level. So that’s a total of 8 free first level spells, and I count seven (true strike, magic missile, protection from chaos, protection from evil, protection from good, protection from law, and detect secret doors. You don’t have any attack numbers listed out for any of your weapons. You also don’t have any mention of having the Summon Familiar class ability anywhere. I understand you haven’t used it, but it should probably appear somewhere. Some white space would really help improve the readability of your background. The story was good, though. After reading it we know about Ashley’s background; we know how she came about her rather odd looking skill set. We know information about her family, her instructors, some enemies, and some friends. These are all great things for a DM to work with. I’ll admit that when I first read she was friends with a copper dragon, I started to twitch. But I think it was handled well. One thing not addressed – what name does she go by? Surely, she doesn’t tell folks her name is Ashley Merlose? I also would have liked to see a bit more description about her appearance. How tall? How much does she weigh? Does she favor one color clothing? These things help form a mental picture. Finally, why hasn’t her family found her? Surely as a diviner she’s aware that a few simple spells should be all that is needed to track her down. How does she protect against this? This looks like a fun character overall. Her background is full of juicy hooks for a DM, it’s robust enough to explain her stats, while being open enough to fill in the blanks as needed. Her personality should fit with most groups, and the interaction of hiding her true sex from the other players should be some fun roleplay in a lot of groups (though, sadly, I know groups that would metagame or worse over it :nonono: ). Much like with Xaxor’s entry, I like the inclusion of a motto. He doesn’t understand where all the antennae of the other races went. He wonders if they were cursed. I also enjoyed this line. Nice touch. I don’t see languages listed anywhere. Now, granted, you only speak common; but it probably should be included. As you yourself pointed out, you forgot to include the +1 enhancement bonus for Masterwork in your attack rolls. 2. Melee Mwk silver Glaive +4 (1d8+0; x3) 5lb, reach. Slash. There’s something else you missed on your weapons. A glaive is a 2-handed weapon. Whenever you wield a weapon in 2-hands while using a buckler, you incur a -1 penalty on the attack rolls. In addition, it would probably be worthwhile to note up on your AC line that you don’t receive the buckler’s shield bonus to AC when using the glaive. Concentration +8, Swim +2, Climb +4, Autohypnosis +5, Spot +3 Armor check penalty: -5: Lowers Climb to -3; Swim to -8. You should try to list skills alphabetically. Also, I’d normally say just add the ACP right into the skills rather than listing them separate, but honestly – it made my math easier. It didn’t directly cost you points, but I was wondering why you have both a backpack and a handy haversack? armor: 1785 gold I compute your armor to cost 1,815 gold. Full plate costs 1500, and to make it masterwork adds an additional 150, for a total of 1,650. A buckler costs 15, and to make it masterwork increases the cost to 165. weapons: 710 I get a different value here, too. I get a total value of 802. Each dart costs 5 silver, and you have 12 of them; so that’s 6 gold. A morningstar costs 8 gold, and making it masterwork costs an additional 300, for a total of 308. A glaive also costs 8 gold, and another 300 for masterwork for a total of 308. Then, because it’s a 2-handed weapon, we need to add another 180 gold for making it silver. Add those up and you get 802. My guess is you only paid for the cost of making a 1-handed weapon silver (though even that doesn’t get the exact total). Gear: 2288, 5 cp I’m coming out different here, too – but in your favor. I’m getting a total of 2,088 gp 5 cp for your gear. Here’s a breakdown. 4 days trail rations 2 waterskin 1 backpack 2 2 caltrops 2 flint and steel 1 5 torches 0.05 handy haversack 2000 4 potions of cure light wounds 200 adventurer's outfit 0 climber's kit 80 Numbers are cumulative totals; for example, a potion of cure light wounds costs 50 gp, and you have 4 for a total of 200. So if you Add those values together, I have your total gear being worth 4905 gp 5 cp. That should leave you with 494 gp and 95 cp. You’re under, which is certainly better than being over. Your descriptive text is good; I don’t know what a dromite looks like, but I can get a somewhat good mental image of Rudger from what you’ve provided. I really would’ve liked to see more background. There’s an axiom in writing, “Show, don’t tell.” The general idea is that it’s more engaging to describe something and let folks build their own mental image rather than just stating something matter of factly. For example, if I’m describing an adventure to you I can either say, “This room has a really cool trap!” Or, I could instead describe what the trap does, which provides you more information to form an opinion. You sort of fell into that a bit with your background. For example: He has met many friends and made a few enemies. So tell me about them. Who? Why? How? Answering these sorts of questions does a few things. It fleshes out your background and adds depth to your character; it gives your DM good information to work with when building an adventure; it helps to define exactly how your character has earned 3 levels during his life. These are all important things in a good background. I think you have a good character that is quite playable; I suspect some of the missing points from your background would fill themselves in during a campaign – whether you wanted them to or not. ;) Your character sheet was, at times, difficult to find information on. For example, I had to actually look carefully to find your ability scores. Hmm… The Urban Ranger variant doesn’t appear in the standard SRD. It appeared in Unearthed Arcana, and because that book is completely Open Game Content, any publisher can reprint it; one of the 3rd party SRD sites took the liberty to include the information on their site. However, I think we were quite clear that the information used had to appear in the official SRD – and a link to that version was provided. I do appreciate the use of the standard stat block, though. Sure made finding stuff easy. ;) Melee masterwork dire flail +5/+5 (1d8+2) or Remember that the offhand only receives half your Strength bonus; so the damage should be 1d8+2/1d8+1. Melee sap +6 (1d6)[/quote] You forgot to include your Strength bonus to damage here. Your skills are a mess if I look at the ranger class skill list; I suspect the problems are caused by the use of the Urban Ranger. For example, Gather Information and Knowledge (local) are cross class skills for a ranger; I believe, though, they’re class skills for the Urban Ranger. I can’t check right now, though – the SRD that includes the Unearthed Arcana information is blocked where I work. :bored: This section of your character is the most affected by your use of the Urban Ranger. Essentially, I’m unable to determine if this section of your stat block is correct or not. Ranged bow of enfeeblement +6 touch (1d6 penalty to Strength) I don’t know what this item is. I mean, I can guess – though as far as I know it’s not in the SRD. I looked through the specific magic items and couldn’t locate it. In addition, you don’t have this listed in your equipment list at the bottom of the stat block. Urban Ranger Spells Prepared (CL 2nd): 1st—comprehend languages Comprehend languages isn’t on the Ranger spell list. I suspect it’s on the Urban Ranger list, so this is another place where it came back to bite you. Possessions <<snip>> A quickie here that didn’t cost you any points. The first thing on your “Possessions” list in the new stat block format should be the words “combat gear.” So I compute your gear to cost 5,262 gp; you have it costing 5,243. Pretty close, but the difference puts you over the limit. Here’s the values I have for everything: +1 chain shirt 1250 masterwork dire flail 690 hat of disguise 1800 backpack 2 silk rope 10 2 masterwork manacles 100 5 sunrods 10 1 sap 0 2 elixers of sneaking 500 potion of cure moderate wounds 300 potion of darkvision 300 potion of invisibility 300 The numbers listed are the totals. For example, masterwork manacles cost 50 gp, so it lists as 100 in the list above. Also, the above list doesn’t take into account at all the bow of enfeeblement. I don’t know what that costs, but whatever it costs is likely to through you way over the limit for cash. I liked how you followed WotC’s standards of italicizing spells and magic items, capitalizing feats, and so forth. I didn’t knock off points from anybody else for not doing it, because it’s not really important to a character sheet; but my type-A obsessive-compulsive personality still liked seeing it on your character sheet. ;) Your story and your mechanics match very well. Whenever I’m looking at characters coming into my game, that’s one thing I really look for. Your feat choices, skill choices, languages, spells, and so forth all fit nicely for a bounty hunter type character. The only thing that doesn’t is your animal companion – I don’t really think of an eagle when I think of urban animals. You could’ve made worse choices, though. ;) Your information is very well written; it was well formatted, which makes it easy to read and easy to find info in your stat block. That said, there isn’t much about your background that really separates you from other bounty hunters. You have the touch of hobgoblin blood, which is nice; but then you also have the hat of disguise which renders that whole thing moot. A DM can easily invent enemies – former gang members who are annoyed you joined the law, people you’ve put away, and so on. But the only specific one is the enchanter you put away. There’s not a whole lot in the way of allies listed – does he have other bounty hunters he works with from time to time? Siblings? What about his father? We know his mother was nearly killed once, but is she still alive? Does she approve of his new line of work? Your background does work well, even with as concise as it is, to explain how Jürgair earned 4 levels. That’s always a good thing. Again, if there's any questions about these comments, just let me know.
Mercurius 04-14-06, 03:41 PM	You were entitled to receive a +1 to any stat at 4th level, but it doesn’t seem to be included. Your entry is missing Ashley’s speed. You don’t list an alignment any where on your character sheet that I saw. I’m gonna take a stab in the dark, though, and guess Lawful Good. If so, that prevents a potential problem with her spell list; casting protection from good is an evil act, as defined in the game. Ashley can certainly still do it, but she would need to be watchful of her alignment, lest she end up becoming neutral rather than good. The same applies for protection from law, just to be complete. This didn’t cost you points for two reasons – first it’s based solely on my supposition, and second it’s not a problem in the rules, just something to be mindful of. So a few things. First, I would avoid listing the “(21)” as it is random, and can lead to confusion. You only receive the dodge bonus to the target of your feat, and you only receive the deflection bonus after you cast your spell – and even then, only against targets with the opposite alignment. Second, you don’t have your touch or flat-footed AC listed. Remember that in 3.5, Perform skills are grouped together. In this case, you want Perform (string instruments). You don’t have any languages listed; you should know Common and three other languages. Your feat list doesn’t have Scribe Scroll, which you got for free at first level of wizard. Took me a long time to figure out your skills, but I finally got there. Have I ever mentioned I hate cross-class skill points? ;) By my math, you spent 5,349 gold pieces. Again, we didn’t have a rule that said you had to spend it all, so it doesn’t affect your scores – but I thought it was worth pointing out. Your spellbook is well organized; while I know the spells marked with the asterisk are divination spells, you probably ought to denote that somewhere. It looks like, though, you should have one more first level spell in your spellbook (for free, I mean). At first level you received 6 (3 plus 3 more for your Int). At 2nd level, you received two more free spells of any level you can cast – and since you have all the cantrips, those have to be first level. So that’s a total of 8 free first level spells, and I count seven (true strike, magic missile, protection from chaos, protection from evil, protection from good, protection from law, and detect secret doors. You don’t have any attack numbers listed out for any of your weapons. You also don’t have any mention of having the Summon Familiar class ability anywhere. I understand you haven’t used it, but it should probably appear somewhere. Some white space would really help improve the readability of your background. The story was good, though. After reading it we know about Ashley’s background; we know how she came about her rather odd looking skill set. We know information about her family, her instructors, some enemies, and some friends. These are all great things for a DM to work with. I’ll admit that when I first read she was friends with a copper dragon, I started to twitch. But I think it was handled well. One thing not addressed – what name does she go by? Surely, she doesn’t tell folks her name is Ashley Merlose? I also would have liked to see a bit more description about her appearance. How tall? How much does she weigh? Does she favor one color clothing? These things help form a mental picture. Finally, why hasn’t her family found her? Surely as a diviner she’s aware that a few simple spells should be all that is needed to track her down. How does she protect against this? This looks like a fun character overall. Her background is full of juicy hooks for a DM, it’s robust enough to explain her stats, while being open enough to fill in the blanks as needed. Her personality should fit with most groups, and the interaction of hiding her true sex from the other players should be some fun roleplay in a lot of groups (though, sadly, I know groups that would metagame or worse over it :nonono: ). Again, if there's any questions about these comments, just let me know. :doh: I can't believe I forgot to list her alignment and scribe scroll... I thought I'd gotten all the spells I could get, but I guess I forgot one or miscounted or something... Thanks for the input. I got so wrapped up in getting gear that I didn't even think about attack modifiers. I'm too used to doing that sort of thing right off the top of my head as a DM, I guess... For the record, Ashley is Lawful Good. The one time I did play this character (in an online game that didn't get past the first encounter), Ashley did actually use her name even as a guy. I generally assumed that her "death" and being in a seperate country would have made it hard for her family to actually find her, and I failed to consider the use of higher level divination magic to find her, either. Heh.
Jayr 04-14-06, 03:55 PM	I have no idea how the bow of enfeeblement thing got in. It's not meant to be there. The reason the character uses non-core material is because I created the entry before the official SRD-only rule was instituted. Please don't dock me too much for that! Finally, the conciseness of the background was on purpose. Generally, I find that when you create a long and detailed background, the DM either doesn't read it or ignores it all. Besides, does it really matter whether or not he had three siblings and a pet dog when he was growing up? I try only to list things that are likely to be relevant in game.
Zherog 04-14-06, 04:32 PM	I have no idea how the bow of enfeeblement thing got in. It's not meant to be there. Well, that answers that question. I know I was scratching my head over that one for a while. ;) The reason the character uses non-core material is because I created the entry before the official SRD-only rule was instituted. Please don't dock me too much for that! My post about using the official SRD is post #21 in this thread - made before anybody posted a character. Finally, the conciseness of the background was on purpose. Generally, I find that when you create a long and detailed background, the DM either doesn't read it or ignores it all. Besides, does it really matter whether or not he had three siblings and a pet dog when he was growing up? I try only to list things that are likely to be relevant in game. Three siblings could be important; a pet dog probably isn't. :D Keep in mind the stuff I've posted is my opinions; it's possible Chilli and Doopliss feel differently. I think a character's background has to do a few things: Provide basic information about the character - were the rich or poor growing up, for example. For characters above first level, the background should at least hint at how the PC achieved his or her levels. Provide me one ally. Provide me one antagonist. And it has to do all those things in a consistent manner. For example, if you give me a sheet for a weakling, unhealthy wizard I don't wanna read in your background about how you single-handedly defeated a tribe of ogres with nothing but your barehands. It doesn't work. So, with saying all that... Your background, Jayr, meets quite a few of those criteria. I know about how your character grew up, I know a little about his mother, your background easily fills in how you've achieved four levels, and you mentioned an enchanter you captured. So there's points 1, 2, and 4; and it was done concisely and consistently. I agree, I don't want a 20 page background. I'm a slow reader, and I just don't have the time to read all that. So there's definitely a point where a background is too long, just like there's definitely a point where it's too short. I don't think any of the backgrounds here crossed into the "too long" category. A lot of things I mentioned in the comments to folks - including you, Jayr - are suggestions. You can take 'em or leave 'em. I tried to point out some good things, because the nature of critiquing an entry like this is that the majority of comments are going to appear negative. Remember that one of the things we were judging your entry on was originality. A bounty hunter is a pretty standard (and very fun!) archetype in D&D. Some of those comments (add in an ally and a nemeis, include some more family info, etc) go towards suggesting ways you can take the standard archetype and add your own spin to it, giving us something a bit more unique and interesting to work with. I hope that makes sense. I feel like I'm rambling.
TheChilliGod 04-14-06, 05:01 PM	Keep in mind the stuff I've posted is my opinions; it's possible Chilli and Doopliss feel differently. I think a character's background has to do a few things: Indeed, I do feel differently about background. I tend to treat such things like summaries of short stories, using a bit of CIE Language criteria for stories. That just means that the story has to keep my attention, and is fleshed out somewhat, which indicates clearly that the submitter has put thought and care to the entry. Although, I don't really judge a story based on set criteria found exactly in the story (As Zherog appears to have done), I do look for at least one clear plot hook, and one major event in the character's life (Being exiled, Meeting the King, etc), that could have changed the character, or served as some in-game reference (I was exiled once, I got to meet the king this one time, etc). If we're still talking about Jayr, I found two possible plot hooks (Being a bounty hunter in the first place is one, the half-elf fella is another) but I can't see any emphasis on a major event. I didn't feel the story was really fleshed out, and only somewhat grabbed my attention as a reader. About the length, I actually enjoy making and reading stories that are "20 pages long," nothing wrong with that at all. You just have to captivate the reader long enough to keep him interested in the piece of literary art. Well, enough with that, Doopie should put out the scores soon enough. I would just like to take this chance to thank Zherog publicly for double-checking and correcting the many errors in my notes about the mechanics of each entry. I'm just so zealous in finding errors (In general) that I often overlook my own. And also for providing us all with one HUGE lot of comments for us all to look at. And, urm, add my sediments to most of Zherog's comments. I kinda see why he took this long to fish them out.
Zherog 04-14-06, 05:14 PM	Although, I don't really judge a story based on set criteria (As Zherog appears to have done), Yes and no, I suppose. Is that vague enough? ;) Like you, I like a background that has hooks for me as a DM. I actually found three easy ones in Jayr's background - the two you mentioned, plus his past affiliation with a street gang. There's also a good motivation - the character cares enough about his family to alter the way he leads his life. Those are all good things, and things I like to see in a background. A background has to fit the character. If you're first level, don't show up at the table with a 50 page story. If your 10th level, don't give me two sentences. So, yeah - there's things I like to see (hooks and motivations, explanations of your life's experiences). Jayr hit those well. I simply offered suggestions of how I thought he could slightly improve the background. *** Here's another thing to toss out, too: Feel free to critique one another's entries. If there's something you really liked in somebody's entry, say so. If there's something that confused you, ask. If you thought something could be done a little better, make a suggestion. Comments and feedback aren't limited to just the judges.
Doopliss 04-14-06, 06:16 PM	Well, the scoring has been worked out and we're ready to go. There are a few other matters that must be attended to, but I won't leave anyone in suspense. :) First off, the bonus point goes to Shanara Moonshadow by Jennibert! (For varrying reasons) Enjoy your one point! ;) Now, for the score... In third place, Soren Sunstrider by DisposableHero_ with 39 points! In second place, Ashley Merlose by Mercurius with 40 points! And in first... Shanara Moonshadow by Jennibert with 44 points! (Including the bonus) In fourth, Xaxor Kanquilnes by Xaxor: 31.5 points. Tied for fifth are Rudger Volech by Nephlite, and Jurgair Windcen by Jayr, both with 26 points. More to come shortly. Thank you all for playing, and I hope you'll stick around for round 2.
Zherog 04-14-06, 07:41 PM	For those who haven't seen it, I've started a thread here on the forum to gather ideas for future competitions. I think Doopliss hit on a really cool idea that can provide people lots of cool character building and playing tips and ideas. So if you have any ideas on improving the contest, or what to do in future rounds, or whatever stop on over. :)
jennibert 04-14-06, 10:24 PM	And in first... Shanara Sunstrider by Jennibert with 44 points! (Including the bonus) Thank you very much! Though I'm a little surprised that you married off my character without asking.... ;) Anyway, I very much enjoyed statting Shanara for this competition. Thank you to the judges for hosting!
Doopliss 04-14-06, 10:30 PM	The first round has ended, and preparations must be made for the second round. Regrettably, this stands true on both sides of the judging panel. The stat-blocks, while quite good, have minor flaws that need looking at. (Special thanks to TheChilliGod's eagle eye, here. I'm pretty sure he's accurate you can use his comments as a reference on what to fix. ;) ) Some as simple as a bit more pocket change, others requiring a whole new stat block. Round 2 won't be starting for a long while, but it would be great if you could fix them in between. If you need help or have any questions, me, TheChilliGod, and Zherog will remain on hand to help. Also, this thread remains open to any who would wish to subscribe a late entry (stat block only) for round 2. I do request that you double-check your stat-block, however, though it will be looked over if posted here. Thank you very much! Though I'm a little surprised that you married off my character without asking.... ;) Um... Er... Whoops. Fixed. :doh:
jennibert 04-14-06, 10:43 PM	I’d like to see touch and flat-footed ACs included, as their pretty important stats to know quickly. Technically speaking, Celestial is not on the list of bonus languages for a tiefling. You could still learn it by spending two skill points on Speak Language; but languages from your Int bonus are supposed to come from the list provided in the race (adjusted for your class – for example, the wizard class adds Draconic to the list). It’s generally a good idea to list crit multipliers when they’re different from the standard 20/x2 (as both your weapons are). Also, for a nitpick that didn’t really cost you points – the names of the abilities (Strength, Dexterity, etc) should be capitalized, even when abbreviated. Something here is a little wacky. I’m thinking it’s actually two ranks, since adding up your skill ranks gives a total of 17 and you should have 18. My overworked mind would like to take this opportunity to thank you for including breakdowns of things such as points spent on stats, how your skills break out, and so on. ;) Unfortunately for my overworked mind, though, I still forced it to double check everything. As somebody who is currently playing a paladin, I can safely say that you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble if you include the bonuses to attack and damage right where you list smite evil. In your case, it’s +2 to attack and +3 to damage. You don’t have a speed listed in your entry. It should be 30 ft. base, 20 ft (can’t run) in armor” Your background is solid. I would’ve enjoyed reading a bit more about Shanara’s exploits after school. Presumably, she didn’t gain three paladin levels in school. You covered it a bit, but you probably could’ve used a bit more detail. Just a bit, though. ;) Overall, your writing style is very good. It was quite easy to read, and enjoyable. Do her brothers have names and ages? That’s information that might assist a DM to weave those into his campaign. Did Shanara make any friends while at the academy? What about enemies? Has she made any friends or enemies worth noting since leaving the academy? We know a good deal about her family, and we know her life ambition – all good things for a DM to work with. But you have the chance to give the DM a bit more here. It’s a preference thing from one DM to another, but I personally love it when a player gives me names to work with. Your length wasn’t bad at all. That’s probably because it’s well written. I found your character to be enjoyable. First off, great job on the comments, Zherog! That's an impressive amount of well-thought out text for each entry. And thank you for the compliment on my writing! I didn't even think about her languages. In the campagin setting Shanara's from, Celestial is a bonus language based on her region (a theocracy that does its government business in that language). It didn't even occur to me that it wouldn't be available. If you prefer, we can just have her speak orc instead for round two. The other things she's missing, I just plumb forgot. :embarrass As for your background related questions, I have many answers! Anyone who cares may see below... Her brothers are Brady (12) and Bryce (9). (Shanara herself is 21.) Brady is already in early training to be a necromancer like his father. (The Moonshadows are a whole family of necromancers....) Level 3 is the expected graduation level for students at the Brande Military Academy (unless you collect trouble, that is...). So she hasn't travelled too much yet. As for friends and enemies at the Brande...she had some friends, but no special enemies that I ever thought of. Her "cousin" Kelyan Callegan would be one friend--the son of her "Uncle Halen"--a dear friend of her mother's. Kelyan's a year behind her at the academy (he's a fighter-type like his daddy). And then there's the half-elven twins, Jess and Ray Starfox, who are (respectively) an evoker and a dex-based fighter type. They'd be her year, and probably even members of her unit (of which she was the leader). I think that's about it. I omitted all of this because I felt that the story was already long enough, but since you asked....
Zherog 04-15-06, 12:29 AM	HappyDragon - you haven't been forgotten. I plan to get your comments up tomorrow. To all who entered, very nice job. I know my comments must've seemed quite negative in some cases, but really all the characters were good. Any of 'em would be welcomed at my gaming table. Congrats to the winners!
Zherog 04-15-06, 11:26 PM	As promised, here’s some comments for Turalisj and HappyDragon. Hope you gents find them useful. Well, for starters, I’m going to work on the assumption that you understand why your entry was DQ’ed. If not, let me know. That said, I was actually wondering if we were gonna get a kobold entered. You have some problems with the little bit of info you gave. Since you put in some effort, I figured I’d reciprocate and point out the issues. CR4 We weren’t looking for you to generate a CR 4; we were looking for you to generate a character whose effective level (class level plus hit die plus Level Adjustment) was equal to four. Now, that said, your kobold is in fact an ECL 4 character. Medium Kobolds are small in size. HD3d6+1 You gave Kniver four levels, so he should have 4 hit die. In addition, while it’s not impossible to have only a +1 to hit points at 4th level, it’s really damn hard to do. If Kniver has a +1 Constitution bonus, you get that bonus for every hit die he possesses – so in this case, it’d be +4. The rest can’t be verified without seeing the remainder of your stats. You are, of course, welcome to complete the character, get it corrected by one of the judges, and enter it into Round 2. Oooh – I like me some rogue-y goodness. Let’s see what ya got! ----Other important skills <<snippity snip>> ump = +3 I’m not sure what UMP is… My first thought would be a misspelling of Use Psionic Device, but I believe that can’t be used untrained so listing it would be useless. Some circumstantial Synergies which have not already been added- — -----From Bluff, +2 bonus on applicable Disguise From EA + 2 onus to Use Rope to bind someone From UR + 2 bonus on Escape Artist checks when escaping from rope bonds From UMD + 2 bonus on Spellcraft checks made to decipher scrolls From UR + 2 bonus on applicable Climb checks Kudos for including this information! :clap: Disguise 2 + 2 = 9 This must be that new math I keep hearing so much about. ;) Damage - Dagger, ( Melee = 1D4 +1, Ranged = 1D4, +1 within 30 ft, 19-20/x2, 10ft) Thrown weapons receive your Strength modifier to damage as well – so it should be 1d4+1 when you chuck it, too. Also, as a nit pick that wouldn’t’ve cost points – the d in the dice representation (1d4, for example) should be lowercase. Weapons - Dagger, (2 gp, 1 lbs) x 6, MW, (2 gp, 1lb) I’m not sure what MW is in this case. It’s often an abbreviation for Masterwork, but if that’s the case, you’re way under the cost of a masterwork dagger – it should be 302. You had some items – crowbar, grappling hook, steel mirror, etc – on your item list that I find incredibly useful when I make a PC. It’s nice to see somebody else who agrees. :) Short sword, (10 gp, 2 lbs) x 2 So you have two of these. Is the intention that Fitz will duel wield in the future? By my calculations, you should have 604 gold remaining. Now, that assumes that the “MW” entry above isn’t a masterwork dagger; if it is, you’ll need to fix that cost to 302, and then you’ll have 304 gold remaining. I’ve been avoiding making any comments about typos, but you’ve struck upon a pet peeve of mine. ;) … the bounty on each one of your six heads is more than I would of ever seen.” It’s not “of.” It’s “would’ve” – a contraction of would and have. He hoped that cute wench at the tavern would bend over a bit more next time he visited. :D :D :D My kind of character! I’ll admit that I was a bit worried about the length of your entry at first; and while I do think it’s a little long winded, it was at least entertaining to read. The worst is when something is long winded and boring as hell. ;) There’s good information in your background for a DM to work with. I’ll echo a sentiment I’ve issued throughout my comments – it would be nice to see an actual ally. His family can fill that niche if needed, or the DM could invent somebody; but I always like the player to give me one. The lack of one wouldn’t’ve hurt your entry, just like the others.
Doopliss 04-16-06, 11:33 AM	I’m not sure what UMP is… My first thought would be a misspelling of Use Psionic Device, but I believe that can’t be used untrained so listing it would be useless.I assumed it was a typo for 'jump'.
Zherog 04-16-06, 11:52 AM	Ah - that must be it. The math works out on that one.
HappyDragon 04-16-06, 12:36 PM	Arrgghhhh! I just had a nice post and Thank You typed out and lost it all by pressing the wrong freakin' button :banghead: Yes 'ump' should be jump. Zherog, thanks for taking the time to go over Fitz. It has been greatly appreciated and I will certainly try and remedy any problems in the future. Especially the feedback on the crunchy stuff was good for me. It is admittadly(sp?) my weakest point. New Math and all, (Man oh man, where did I pull that Disguise total from :blush: ) I am glad it wasn't too boring a read. I kinda threw him together a bit quicker than i would of liked, thought I had a few more hours than I actually did ;) Even I found it annoying to read my own entry due to presentation problems, thanks for working your way through it. (Will have to find a better way to transfer documents from Wordperfect or something) Over the next couple weeks I'll try and do up a new stat block for Fitz based on the old one already posted, (I wont change anything, simply clarify the problem areas in it....yes MW should of been Masterwork and I forgot to adjust GP). As for the items he carries.....I am indeed a big fan of the more mundane items actually :). Not too mention every good adventurer should have a crowbar. Best lockpick ever :D (Not to mention it's many other uses). Once again thanks to all the judges for their time. It has been alot of fun so far and I am hoping to see this continue. Cheers. :)
Doopliss 04-16-06, 01:18 PM	I kinda threw him together a bit quicker than i would of liked, thought I had a few more hours than I actually did ;) :rofl:
HappyDragon 04-16-06, 01:22 PM	;) :D 2 points for Doopliss :)
DisposableHero_ 04-16-06, 06:31 PM	I'd just like to say thank you to the judges for running the competition, I look forward to round 2, and I'm sorry I haven't been able to check in on this thread until now. Special thanks to Zherog for the comments, and I don't need any examples, I'm well aware, of my little comma problem. I'm trying, to fix it, but its proving to be, a slow, process. :D
Doopliss 04-16-06, 09:54 PM	Special thanks to Zherog for the comments, and I don't need any examples, I'm well aware, of my little comma problem. I'm trying, to fix it, but its proving to be, a slow, process. :DHeh, I end up putting concious effort into avoiding doing that same thing. I suppose it would be a bit easier if I could figure out that blasted semicolon. ;)
Zherog 04-17-06, 09:04 AM	Here's a quick easy way that'll work for most cases - read the sentence out loud. If you pause, then you put a comma there. If you don't pause, don't put a comma. The other place you use a comma is in a list of items. Example: "Zherog has a lot of extra gear in his pack including caltrops, a crowbar, a spade, and a bag of flour." Hope it helps.
Nephlite 04-17-06, 12:00 PM	Yes, thanks Zherog for the commenting on my dude. Hmm, I guess I can work out the names of my allies/friends on Word Perfect in case it helps my character in round 2 roleplay. Here's a quick easy way that'll work for most cases - read the sentence out loud. If you pause, then you put a comma there. If you don't pause, don't put a comma. The other place you use a comma is in a list of items. Example: "Zherog has a lot of extra gear in his pack including caltrops, a crowbar, a spade, and a bag of flour." Hope it helps. You know, I agree with example but that does'nt work for me. I always remember in a list of items you use commas, but I can also read that without pausing. I always got comma splices when I first went to college for english 101. I never even knew what they were tiil than.
Edwind 04-19-06, 09:41 PM	I would assume its too late to join perhaps? If not I would like to try out, was just wondering if I could use UA maybe? I read that they may take away the core-only so thats why I'm asking. Spontaneous Edit: If its core only then I'd just post him for judgemental reasons.
Zherog 04-19-06, 09:47 PM	Round one is done and gone, so certainly it's too late for that. You are free, of course, to post a character for round two. Or just for the hell of it. ;) If you post with the intent of entering round 2, at least one of the judges will post some comments here. Some will be mechanical problems, and those should be cleaned up; the others will be suggestions - you can take 'em or leave 'em as you see fit for your character.
Mercurius 04-20-06, 11:10 AM	In what way should we amend the errors in our characters for round two? Should we just edit our prior entries, or should we repost them with the corrected information?
Doopliss 04-20-06, 06:05 PM	Ah, good question. Best not to tamper with the original entries, I'd imagine...
Edwind 04-20-06, 11:18 PM	Round 2 Jack Lancaster NG Human Expert STR 12 (4 points) DEX 16 (10 points) CON 12 (4 points) INT 16 (8 points +1 for 4th) WIS 10 (2 points) CHA 8 (0 points) 4+10+4+2+8+0=28 AC 17 (10 + 4 (armor) + 3 (dex)) Touch: 13 FlatFoot: 14 HP 20 (d6 +1 (con)) Armor Check Penalty: -1 Racial Abilities: Bonus Feat, extra skill points. Class Abilities: Languages: Common, Halfling, Dwarven, (1 automatic, 2 bonus from +2 int) Feats: 1st level: Rapid Reload Bonus: Point Blank Shot 3rd level: Weapon Focus (Longsword) Skills: (64 points) Main Skills: Appraise Bluff Craft(weaponsmith) Decipher Script Handle Animal Hide Move Silently Spellcraft Tumble Use Magical Device Appraise:5 (2+4) Bluff:3 (-1+4) Craft(weaponsmith):7 (3+4) Craft(armorsmith):5 (3+2) Craft(Bowmaking):5 (3+2) Decipher Script:7 (3+4) Diplomacy:1 (-1+2) Handle Animal:3 (-1+4) Hide:6 (3+4+-1) Listen:2 (0+2) Move Silently:6 (3+4+-1) Search:5 (3+2) Spot:2 (0+2) Spellcraft:6 (3+4) Tumble:6 (3+4+-1) Use Magic Device:3 (-1+4) Saves: Fort: +2 (+1 base, +1 con) Ref: +4 (+4 base, +3 dex) Will: +4 (+4 base, +0 wis) Base Attack Bonus: +3 Grapple: +5 (+3 BAB, +2 str) Attacks: +1 Lightcrossbow: +8 (+9) (+3 BAB, +3 dex, (+1PBS), +1 enhancement) Damage: d8 (+1 PBS) 19-20/x2 +1 Longsword: +7 (+3 BAB, +2 str,+1 focus, +1 enhancment) Damage: d8+2 (+2 str) 19-20/x2 Gear (5400 gold pieces in value): Carried on his person: +1 longsword (2315 gp) +1 Lightcrossbow (2360 gp) 30 Crossbow bolts (3 gp) MW Chain Shirt (250 gp) 3 potions of CLW (150 gp) Flint and steel (1 gp) waterskin (1 gp) Bedroll (1sp) Backpack (2gp) 6 days trail rations (3gp) 314gp 9sp Jack Was the son of a humble blacksmith and dreamt of adventure in his youth. He'd watch many adventurers travel through his small village of Usk as a child and would sometimes build up enough courage to ask them about their adventures. When they'd tell him tales of lost treasure and monsters it only fauled his lust to head out on the open road. Finally he got that chance at the age of twenty-one when a group of travellers came through the village and then disappeared. A search party was gathered consisting of the great Half-Orc Baptar, a wilderness warrior who had moved to the village a few months before. A crafty wizard name Silvia, who was visiting a cusion in Usk, and a strange and sneaky ninja name Padfoot who had seemed to come out of nowhere, later we found out he was tracking these adventurerers. Jack offered to join so he could see what adventure was like first hand. When they left and picked up the trail in the dead of night which led them to an abandoned ruin, deep within the surrounding forest he could feel his heart pounding at the though of excitment. When they ventured in, one of the groups members, the intelligent wizard. Heard words spoken down the hall and we travelled silently to ambush a small group of three goblins and their hyena pet. After the battle had finished and Jack had suffered a minor wound, they continued on and down a flight of stairs leading to a large open room where there stood a large bugbear weilding a deadly morningstar standing beside a pitfall. They could only see one of the travellers remaining chained against the wall. The barbarian went into a rage at the site of his new foe, and lept towards him in great strides, his axe high in the air. Jack had readied his crossbow just in time to see these sleek looking dog type animals pounce from the shadows to strike the wizard and ninja. Jack fired his crossbow and quickly reloaded another just as one of the dogs finished with the ninja and was galloping towards him. A lucky shot to the throat downed the beast, and it slid to a halt at Jacks feet. He looked down at the thing for a few moments realizing what could have happend if it got hold of him with its sharp teeth. All of a sudden Jack felt tendrils around his neck and chest as a small humanoid thing grappled onto him and began squeezing the life out of him. Jacks vision was beginning to lose his vision, just befor he saw the barbarian down the Bugbear and sprint towards him, only after a few more seconds Jack was lifted off his feet by a great blow to his back, and him and the humanoid creature fell to the ground, the humanoid harmlessly rolling off Jack in the process. Jack slowly began to get up and picked up his crossbow gazing at the small humanoid with long arms and legs, but appearently no bones at all. They unchained the prisoner, Jack and the wizard helping him while the barbain carried the unconsious ninja. before they could bring the traveller out, he told them of a room in the back where they had taken his and his companions gear. Travelling down the small hallway Silvia ran back exclaimming about a large pile of gold along with his gear. As they examined the find, they discovered small bottles of blueish liquid. Jack often seeing the town cleric on occasion recognized them as healing potions, and a quick drink for the ninja and himself they felt perfectly rejuvanated, then Jacks eyes came across a brilliantly shining sword, and just from the look of it, it told Jack that it was no ordinary one. Baptar raised a huge axe over his head which seemed to burst into flames just like his soul in battle. Then Silvia found a small ring and once it was put on it seemed to place a small invisible shield around her which could be seen the way the dust in the air somehow moved around her instead of at her. Padfoot found a pair of finely crafted boots, which from that point on it seemed to make him a little less loud as he walked through underbrush and the like. With the ninja consious they were able to carry all the treasure and the traveller back to town, where they celebrated the victory for good. After that Jack joined the others of the group and went out on their own adventures and gained knowledge of the vast world around him, now he travels alone with his newly aquired crossbow, until he heard about some kind of new adventure taking place. Will this be another memorible moment in Jacks journal, or will this be his last? There Jack is hopefully fixed, if anything else seems to be out of place just say so and I'll once again fix it.
TheChilliGod 04-21-06, 12:34 AM	Allow me to do this one, Zherog. Just make a note that I'm positive I will get in an error somewhere, even if I haven't had any coffee today. — We aren't using the online d20SRD.com SRD, we're using the official SRD, which, unfortunately, comes without UA. Zherog has mentioned in...—Who's entry was it, Jürgair's?—that we don't like UA. But what's done is done, I suppose. — To have a special ability on a weapon (like your Keen Longsword), the item must first have a +1 bonus on it. No MW keen longswords, only +1 Keen longswords. — On a similar note, +1 Flaming Light Crossbows are 8335gp, not 2360gp. And I'm positive you meant +3 Dex when you were figuring out the attack bonus. And they deal 1d8+1d6+1 points of damage. — The Generic Expert has 3 class-related bonus feats at 4th level, and I can only find two you've got there, plus two for 1st and 3rd level, and one more for being human. Where's the missing feat? Is it supposed to be Trap Sense? — Speed is missing, it's supposed to be 30 ft., right? — Base saves... Aren't the good one's supposed to be Base +4 at 4th lvl? — BAB... Isn't it supposed to be +3 at 4th lvl? Surprisingly, however, the attack bonus for your light crossbow is correct at +7. — For skill points, 2+6+4+4+2+4+4+4+1+4+5=40, divided by 10 (your skill points/lvl) = 4, when you should have 7? You're missing 3 levels worth of skill points there, unless I'm missing something. — Nice hint, putting in skills with Craft in them, to reflect the character's history as a blacksmith. It's that sort of Background-Mechanics synergy that us judges like to look out for. — Your character has a brilliant Wisdom score there, and it's just sitting there buffing your will save and otherwise looking useless. A suggestion would be to invest some of those extra skill points into wisdom based skills, like Spot, Listen, and Search (which doesn't have Wisdom as it's key ability, I know, but you would need ranks in it anyway) — Masterwork Chain Shirt has a Check Penalty of -1, not -2. — We're going 28 point buy for abilities here, and you seem to be currently spending 49 points, assuming you put your stat bump in wisdom. It's not 4d6DL, people! — At least, if we calculate the prices for the items you have as you have put them (which is incorrect, see my point about the crossbow), then we do get 5400gp exactly, which is a commendable show of your mathwork ability. Though your character is going to starve, not having any trail rations. And will have a hard time keeping his loot with him, as he has no backpack. And he's sleeping in the grass, I imagine, with no bedroll. He sure likes to rough it out! —Your backstory looks like a log from an actual campaign, though it's not necessarily a bad thing. Switching from first to third person about 3-5 times, just a note. I would have liked to know a little bit more about this 'search party' that Jack was with; who was the barbarian, ninja and wizard? And how did Jack get those spiffy weapons in the first place? What is Jack's personality (aside from ambitious), his family (not just parents, but siblings?), his friends? Why does he hate magical beasts? Stuff like that would have been nice to be included. Nice example of Jack in action, though.
Zherog 04-21-06, 12:45 AM	Chilli - I don't think he's using the UA Expert; I think he's using the one from the DMG. ;) Assuming that's correct, I'll touch on a few mechanical things Chilli may have missed in a moment... Edit: nevermind - that can't be correct, given that the character has sneak attack and favored enemy bonuses...
Zherog 04-21-06, 01:02 AM	So, a few mechanical things, without getting into class stuff since I don't feel like going to a different version of the SRD at the moment. Chilli mentioned your ability scores. They're way out of whack for a 28 point buy. If you don't understand how point buy works, let me know and I'll explain it. Feats: 1st level: Rapid Reload 3rd level: Point Blank Shot Bonus: Weapon Focus (Longsword) Assuming "Bonus" is your racial bonus feat, you can't take that one. Weapon Focus requires a +1 BAB as a pre-req, and your BAB at first level is +0. The other two are OK. You could even swap Point Blank Shot to be your bonus feat and take Weapon Focus at third level. Chilli also mentioned about your weapons needing to be +1 before they have special abilities; and doing so would put them out of the price range for your cash. Chilli also made a nice catch with your ACP. Masterwork reduces it by 1, down to -1 in this case. Chilli is also correct that a Good save at 4th level has a value of +4; the bad saves'll have a value of +1. Your BAB is incorrect - it should be +3. That makes your Grapple and your weapon numbers incorrect. I also agree with Chilli about your skill totals being way off. So, yeah, I went to the SRD that has the class briefly. You get 6+Int skill points per level, and one bonus for being a human. So you're pulling down 10 SP per level; that's 40 at first. You should have 70. Let's work towards getting your character cleaned up a bit. Since we're out of round 1, you can edit Jack as much as needed for now. Make the changes you need to (starting with picking a class from the official SRD: http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=d20/article/srd35 ). Once you've completed your edits, make a post to let us know, and we'll take a peek again. Just FYI - I'll be unavailable tomorrow and likely Saturday. I have the rest of my class tomorrow, then a flight home tomorrow night. I get in really late Friday night/Saturday morning, so I'll likely be sleeping in. And Saturday evening is game night. ;)
Edwind 04-22-06, 03:38 AM	There, I fixed him and I hope I got it right this time. If anything else is needed just say and I'll get back to work. I hope we can start soon and will be looking forward to it.
Zherog 04-22-06, 09:27 AM	I'll dig through it later, when I'm more awake. ;) I see some things already, though. Just to be clear, this is the Expert class from the DMG, correct?
Edwind 04-22-06, 01:24 PM	Yes, when I was told about how many problems there was with Jack the first time, I was thinking of changing him to a monk, but monks are SO hard to make with pointbuy.
Reece Darkstar 04-23-06, 10:29 PM	Ok. Heres my entry for round 2. Just one of my numerous characters from games I've played in. I really should've posted this for round one but... oh well, I didn't. Aarven Reid Male Human 4th Level Rogue Alignment: Neutral Good Ability Scores: STR 14 +2 (6 pts.) DEX 16 +3 (8 pts., +1 at 4th lv.) CON 12 +1 (4 pts) INT 14 +2 (6 pts.) WIS 12 +1 (4 pts.) CHA 8 -1 (0 pts.) total = 28 pts. HP: 20 HD: 4d6+4 (6, 3, 4, 3) AC: 18 (+3 Dex, +1 Deflection, +4 armour) Touch: 14 (+3 Dex, +1 Deflection) Flat-footed: 18 (+3 Dex, +1 Deflection, +4 armour) Armour: Mithral Shirt: Light armour, +4 armour bonus, +6 Max Dex Ring of Protection +1: +1 deflection bonus Speed: 30 ft. Initiative: +7 Base Attack Bonus: +3 Grapple: +5 Attacks: MWK Shortsword, +6 (1d6+2/ 19–20) Or Heavy Mace, +5 (1d8+2/ ×2) Or Heavy Mace (Two Handed), +5 (1d8+3/ ×2) Or Dagger, +5 (1d4+2/ 19–20) Or MWK Composite Shortbow, +7 (1d6+2/ ×3, 70 ft. range) Or Thrown Dagger, +6 (1d4+2/ 19–20, 10 ft. range) Full Attacks: Two-Weapon Fighting Heavy Mace (Primary hand), +3 (1d8+2/ ×2) Or MWK Shortsword (Primary Hand), +4 (1d6+2/ 19–20) Or Dagger (Primary Hand), +3 (1d4+2/ 19–20) And Masterwork Shortsword (Off Hand), +4 (1d6+1/ 19–20) Or Dagger (Off Hand), +3 (1d4+1/ 19–20) Saving Throws: Fort: +2 (+1 Base, +1 CON) Ref: +7 (+4 Base, +3 DEX) Will: +2 (+1 Base, +1 WIS) Skills: Balance, +5 (+3 DEX,+2 Synergy) Climb, +4 (2 ranks, +2 STR) Decipher Script, +5 (3 ranks, +2 INT) Disable Device, +11 (7 ranks, +2 Int, +2 Circumstance) Hide, +10 (7 ranks, +3 DEX) Jump, +6 (2 ranks, +2 STR, +2 Synergy) Listen, +8 (7 ranks, +1 WIS) Move Silently, +10 (7 ranks, +3 DEX) Open Lock, +12 (7 ranks, +3 DEX, +2 Circumstance) Search, +9 (7 ranks, +2 Int) Spellcraft, +5 (3.5 ranks, +2 INT, +2 Synergy (Involving Scrolls)) Spot, +8 (7 ranks, +1 WIS) Sleight of Hand, +5 (2 ranks, +3 DEX) Survival, +1 (+1 WIS, +2 Synergy (Following Tracks)) Tumble, +10 (7 ranks, +3 DEX) Use Magic Device, +4 (5 ranks, -1 CHA) Abilities: Sneak Attack (+2d6), Trapfinding, Evasion, Trapsense +1, Uncanny Dodge. Languages: Common, Draconic, Elven. Feats: Dodge, Improved Initiative, Two-Weapon Fighting. Equipment: Mithral shirt (1100 Gp) +1 ring of protection (2000 Gp) 2 masterwork shortswords (620 Gp) Heavy mace (12 Gp) 5 daggers (10 Gp) Masterwork composite shortbow (+2 Str bonus) (525 Gp) Quiver and 40 arrows (2 Gp) Backpack (2 Gp) Everburning torch (110 Gp) Flint and Steel (1 Gp) Masterwork thieves tools (100 Gp) 2 sacks (2 Sp) Silk rope, 50 ft. (10 Gp) Tent (On Delos) (10 Gp) Crowbar (On Delos) (2 Gp) 3 day’s trail rations (On Delos) (1 Gp, 5 Sp) Waterskin (On Delos) (1 Gp) Map or scroll case (1 GP) Scroll of charm person (25 Gp) 2 scrolls of magic missile (50 Gp) 2 scrolls of sleep (50 Gp) 2 Belt pouches (2 Gp) 4 potions of cure light wounds (200 Gp) 2 Oil of magic weapon (100 Gp) (Sub Total = 4934 Gp, 7 Sp) Plus: Heavy Warhorse (400 Gp) Riding Saddle (10 Gp) Saddlebags (4 Gp) Bit and Bridle (2 Gp) (Sub Total = 416 Gp) Total Equipment Cost = 5350 Gp, 7 Sp Money Left: 49 Gp, 3 Sp Load: 37 lb. Load type: Light load Delos Male Heavy Warhorse: CR 2; Large animal; HD 4d8+12; hp 38/ 38; Init +1; Spd 50 ft.; AC 14, touch 10, flat-footed 13; Base Atk +3; Grp +11; Atk +6 melee (1d6+4, hoof); Full Atk +6, melee (1d6+4, 2 hooves) and +1 melee (1d4+2, bite); Space/ Reach 10 ft./ 5 ft.; SA ––; SQ low-light vision, scent; AL N; SV Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +2; Str 18, Dex 13, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6. Skills and Feats: Jump +12, Listen +5, Spot +4; Endurance, Run. Low-Light Vision (Ex): Can see twice as far as a human in dim light. Scent (Ex): Can detect approaching enemies, sniff out hidden foes, and track by sense of smell. Current load: 246 lb. Load Type: Light load. Carried: Aarven [180 lb.], Tent [20 lb.], Crowbar [5 lb.], Trail Rations [3 lb.], Waterskin [4 lb.], Saddle [25 lb.], Saddlebags [8 lb.], Bit and Bridle [1 lb.] Appearance: Aarven is a handsome young man of nineteen. He stands 1.71 metres (5 ft. 7.3 in.) tall and weighs 63 Kilograms (143 lbs.). His bright sky blue eyes appear sad even though his face is cheerful. He has long dark red hair and is clean shaven. He is well muscled and incredibly flexible and acrobatic. He wears a fine blue tunic, a light blue long sleeved shirt and light brown pants. He wears a leather belt with a shortsword scabbard at each hip. He wears thick leather boots and thin leather gloves. He wears a heavy hooded deep blue cloak over his clothes. He wears a fine quiver of arrows, which was given to him by Farnicolovious when they parted, strapped over his right shoulder. He has many daggers hidden on his body, one hidden behind his neck, one in his right boot, one hidden in his cloak, and one more sheathed at the back of his belt. He carries a heavy mace on his left hip between the shortsword scabbard and the quiver. History: Aarven Reid is a man from another world. He comes from a continent named Faerûn, on the planet Toril, which is far from his current location in the cosmos. He was born on the 8th of Flamerule, also known as Summertide, in the year 1353, in the metropolis, Waterdeep. His parents were a young couple, newly wed, who had just found a home of their own in one of the middle class districts. His mother, Adria, was a very beautiful young woman, living as a simple housewife and parent, while his father, Kraig, was a jeweller. Aarven had a good childhood, living happily for the first 8 years of his life. He had plenty of friends and many toys that were handmade by his grandfather. However, one cold winter’s night, Aarven, having heard a noise from the street had started off downstairs to find out what it was and witnessed something that changed his life. His father, who was closing his shop for the night, was brutally murdered by several shadowy men dressed in black leather. His father, only twenty five years old, was stabbed several times in the back and was dead before he hit the floor, uttering no more than a gasp, no louder than a whisper. Aarven quickly and silently, went to find his mother, who was startled by his sudden, tear filled appearance. “What is it?” she asked in a gentle, quiet tone, her large bright eyes filling with concern. “It’s father,” he said between sobs. “He’s… he’s been killed. We have t… to go before they come and k… kill us too!” Aarven’s mother rushed forward and took her son in her arms, and carried him to the back door of their house, onto the balcony at the rear and down the steps into the dark, horribly quiet streets. As they ran to the corner of the side street, they heard loud crashes coming from their house. It was at this point that Aarven’s mother broke down and wept on the cold cobblestone street. Aarven huddled close to his mother and he too wept. They sat on the side of the street for many long minutes before Adria stumbled to her feet and picked her son up out of the dust and carried him back to the carnage that was their house. Aarven’s mother gathered a few belongings that remained, a small amount of clothes, a single woollen blanket, and a tattered old book, before heading downstairs to cover her late husband. Aarven became worried when she had been gone for ten or so minutes, and went downstairs to find his mother weeping over her husband’s body. Aarven went over and stood beside his mother; she turned her head, and wiped a tear from her cheek. After leaving they walked to the nearest temple and informed them of the night’s events. They immediately sent a dispatch group of clerics to the house and retrieved Kraig’s body. They gave Adria and her son shelter for the night and held a private funeral for him. Then Aarven and his mother left the temple. They walked the streets, sleeping on the roadside because, to scared to return to their home they had no place to go, their state of poverty imposing itself upon them. They headed to the slums where the lived in misery for five long years, clinging only to each other for comfort. They tried several times to get back on their feet but each time they stumbled and ended back up where they were, begging for survival. One sad day, Adria died of starvation and misery, having lost the will to go one, she stopped eating, and thus died. Aarven went into a state of depression, and began stealing to stay alive. For yeas he survived only by way of theft, until one day, Aarven found himself in a predicament. He had broken into an old wizard’s house in search of food when he stumbled across a wide archway with gems and runes all over it. He saw a large stone button near the base and, without any thought whatsoever, pushed it. The gems and runes began to glow and the archway filled with a liquid like substance. Beyond he could see an image of a country landscape and, again, without thinking, he touched the substance in the archway. He was totally unprepared for what happened next. He felt himself losing consciousness, and then he had the horrible sensation of falling. Aarven began to stir. He kept his eyes closed for at least five minutes, and then, hoping that the next thing he saw was the stony ceiling of the chamber in the wizard’s house, he opened his eyes. He sat up; his eyes darted around like a deer that had just heard a twig crack, afraid and unaware of his location. He saw the landscape that he had seen through the archway all around him. Trees, mountains, rivers, valleys, everything he had seen through the liquid was here. He stood up and began walking in a random direction, and he walked until his legs gave out and exhaustion took over. When he next awoke it was as he felt water falling on his face. He opened his eyes and saw a kind face smiling down at him, holding a wet cloth above his head. “Who… are… you?” asked Aarven, groggily. “Where am I?” The old man grasped his arm and helped him over to a log. “I’m Farnicolovious, a travellin’ bard, and y’are in West Boredor, o’ course. What did ye expect?” “I… I don’t know… I …” he halted, not really knowing what to say next. “Well, now yer back on yer feet I’ll bid ye farewell.” Said Farnicolovious as he turned to leave “WAIT,” Wailed Aarven as he extended his arm to grasp the bard. “… Don’t leave me here... please… let me come with you” Aarven pleaded. “Well… ok, I don’t see why not… it’s always nice t’ have some company on me travels… ok then, come on” Aarven got up of the log, dusted of his clothes, and followed Farnicolovious the short distance to his wagon. The bard’s wagon was filled with many strange and unusual things, and Aarven gazed in wonder at them all. Farnicolovious hoped up onto the seat and patted the space beside him. “Come on. Up ye get” he said cheerfully. Aarven climbed up onto the seat beside the old man. He shook the reins of his horse and they began moving, the horse walking at a leisurely pace. “What’s yer name laddie?” the bard asked after several minutes. “Oh. Sorry… I’m Aarven, Aarven Reid. I’m from Waterdeep.” “Waterwhat? I ‘aint never herd o’ that before” said the bard, with a puzzled look on his face. “Oh, it’s on the sword coast… You know, on the west coast of Faerûn” “Sorry, ‘aint never herd o’… ‘OLD UP A MINUTE!” he exclaimed. The horse reared and came to a halt as the old man reined him in. “Ye mean t’ tell me yer from Faerûn… But, that’s on another world that is. I ‘eard a story in a tavern once ‘bout a place called Faerûn… Wow, me brains ‘bout t’ leap outa me forehead… Faerûn… but then… how’d ye get here?” “Well… I fell through a magic gateway or something.” Said Aarven “At least, that’s what I think happened.” “Well now… you tell old Farnicolovious all about it. I’d just love to hear about Faerûn. Then I kin write a story.” So Aarven and Farnicolovious travelled and talked, Farnicolovious even took the liberty to teach Aarven some things, like, how to read scrolls and even how to use them. And Aarven told Farnicolovious all about Faerûn… well… about what he new of it anyway. He told the bard everything, including his sad past. The pair travelled together for a year before finally parting ways, and Aarven, now eighteen made his own way, learning about the new lands he was in, and as he travelled, he made a decision. He was going to try to make the world a better place, helping people out and trying to save them from the horrors that haunt his past. He also decided that, from then on, it was probably a good idea to keep his past a secret. He has been wandering this new world ever since that moment, writing small wrongs and helping people in need, but he wants to do more. He wants to do great and wondrous things throughout this world and become a legend, a role model. He wants to belong. Personality: Aarven is a good-hearted nineteen year old man. He is wise and intelligent and full of cheer. He wants to help people in need and become a legend. He feels that a reward isn’t necessary but he will take one if it is offered. Although he posses some unsavoury skills, he wants to use them for the greater good. He feels very strongly about his past and will only reveal it to people he can feel he trusts. He feels like he doesn’t belong so he travels, calling no place home, going wherever his heart takes him with only the desire to do good in his heart. Most of all he wants to prevent others from experiencing the horrors he faced as a child. If he kills someone that doesn’t have an evil intent, he will say a short prayer for them, something along the lines of “pass safely unto the next life, rest in peace unfortunate foe”. Aarven is also a merciful man. There, fixed those small mistakes and added height and weight.
Zherog 04-24-06, 03:09 PM	So somebody with all NPC levels is interesting; generally, I think doing that hurts your overall character strength – but it can still make for some interesting PCs. I discourage my PCs from using NPC levels, but I’ve also known DMs that encourage or even require at least one NPC level. So, with that said, let’s get into the details, eh? AC 17 (10 + 4 (armor) + 3 (dex)) Touch and Flat-footed ACs should be listed. In your case, Touch would be 13 and Flat-footed would be 14. HP 29 (d6 +2 (con)) I come up with 20.5 as the number of hit points you should have. You get the full 6 at first level and 3.5 each additional level. Your Con mod is +1, so that’s a bonus 4 hit points. Add those up, and it’s a total of 20.5. Languages: Common, Halfling, Dwarven, Gnome (1 automatic, 3 bonus from +3 int) You only had a +2 Int mod at first level, so you should only have two bonus languages. Skills: (70 points) You have the same problem here; your Int mod at first through third levels was only +2. Therefore, you should have a total of 64 skill points – Expert grants 6 plus Int mod per level (x4 at first level), and you get a bonus skill point (4 at first) for being human. So 6+2+1 = 9; so it’s 36 at first level, and 9 at second and third levels. At 4th level, your Int mod goes up to +3, so you get 10 skill points. 36+9+9+10=64. Also, the Expert gets to pick 10 skills that are class skills. The system isn’t clear if skills such as Craft and Knowledge count as one skill, or if you have to count each one separately. I’m of the opinion that Craft, Perform, and Profession count as one skill and each Knowledge skill selected counts as one skill. Fortunately, you only have Craft, so it’s not a big deal. Except you have ranks in more than 10 skills, and don’t tell us which skills are your class skills. I’m having trouble verifying your skills. It looks like the numbers in parens are comprised of your ability mod followed by ranks followed by any other bonuses. Yet you have several with the wrong modifier (all the Charisma based skills); in addition you have numerous that don’t add up (Appraise, Bluff, Craft (bowmaking – just to name a few). I think I’m going to punt on verifying your skills, and ask you to provide a better explanation. Here’s the info I’m asking for: Specifically list your 10 class skills. Correct your ability scores in your list Retotal each skill, making sure you take into account things such as Synergy bonuses, armor check penalty (which you seem to have :thumbup: ) and so on. From there, I should be able to then verify what you have. Saves: Fort: +4 (+3 base, +1 con) Ref: +6 (+3 base, +3 dex) Will: +1 (+1 base, +0 wis) Base saves for a 4th level Expert are +1/+1/+4. Add in your ability mods, and your totals should be +2/+4/+4. MW Shocking Lightcrossbow: +6 (+7) (+3 BAB, +3 dex, (+1PBS)) A few things here. As mentioned previously, you can’t have a weapon special ability (such as shoking) without the weapon first having at least a +1 magical enhancement bonus. And adding a +1 enhancement bonus would make this weapon too expensive. Masterwork confers a +1 enhancement bonus on your to-hit number; so your total should be +7. I do like that you listed Point Blank Shot. Remember that it applies to damage as well. +1 Longsword: +6 (+2 BAB, +2 str,+1 focus) Damage: d8+2 (+2 str) Your attack total for this weapon should be +7 - +3 BAB, +2 Str, +1 Weapon Focus, +1 enhancement bonus. Your damage should be 1d8+3 (+2 Str, +1 enhancement bonus). In addition, this weapon has a crit range you probably want to list; generally speaking, it’s a good idea to list crit information if the range or multiplier is different from the standard (20 and x2 respectively). +1 longsword (15 gp) A +1 longsword costs 2,315 gold pieces – 15 for the longsword, 300 for being masterwork, and 2000 for the +1 enhancement bonus. Shocking Lightcrossbow (2360 gp) As mentioned previously, this weapon is not rules legal. Even if we “swap” shocking for a +1 enhancement, though, your price is wrong. A light crossbow costs 35 gold; making it masterwork (required to make it magical) adds 300; adding the enhancement bonus adds 2000. So the cost of a +1 light crossbow would be 2335. So adjusting the price of the longsword up to 2315, and making the crossbow +1 and fixing the price to be 2335, I get a total of 5060 gp and 1 sp spent; that leaves you 339 gp, 9 sp. Then Silvia found a small ring and once it was put on it seemed to place a small invisible shield around her which could be seen the way the dust in the air somehow moved around her instead of at her. Nice imagery for a ring of protection. :) I don’t point out typos and grammar errors; and I didn’t deduct points during round one for folks who made them. So, that said… Your background is full of small errors. So I’ll make the same offer I did to the others – if you want details, let me know. One thing you do in the writing for your background that I will take the time to point out: You switch back and forth between 1st person (“…and we travelled silently…”) and 3rd person (“…Jack Was the son of…”). This sort of thing can make reading a story difficult. The best advice is to pick one form of expression and stick with it. Your background is solid. We know your roots, your home town, some of what you’ve done, and the names of some friends. That’s all good stuff for a DM to work with. There’s a hint of an enemy as well, assuming the goblins and bugbear had a boss of course. ;) So let’s get the skills and other things cleaned up, and we can go forward with the final checks. You don’t need to fix your background at all; just get the math stuff in the stat block correct. I'll try to get to critiquing Aarven later on today, but I may not be able to get to it until tomorrrow. I was out of town all last week and I have a lot of catching up to do here at work.
Zherog 04-25-06, 11:58 AM	Edwind - I missed one. Jack doesn't seem to have an alignment listed. You'll wanna add that in, too. ;)
Zherog 04-25-06, 02:03 PM	MWK Shortsword, +5 (1d6+2/ 19–20) Or Dagger, +4 (1d4+2/ 19–20) This should be +6 to attack - +3 BAB, +2 Strength, and +1 enhancement for being Masterwork. Or Heavy Mace, +4 (1d8+2/ ×2) Or Heavy Mace (Two Handed), +4 (1d8+2/ ×2) These should each be +5 to attack. In addition, if you’re using the weapon two-handed, you get 1.5 times your Strength to damage – or +3 in this case. Or MWK Composite Shortbow, +7 (1d6+1/ ×3, 70 ft. range) You purchased a +2 Strength mod for your bow. ;) Full Attacks: Two-Weapon Fighting Heavy Mace (Primary hand), +2 (1d8+2/ ×2) Or MWK Shortsword (Primary Hand), +3 (1d6+2/ 19–20) Or Dagger (Primary Hand), +2 (1d4+2/ 19–20) And Masterwork Shortsword (Off Hand), +3 (1d6+1/ 19–20) Or Dagger (Off Hand), +2 (1d4+1/ 19–20) Each of these attack numbers is off by 1. You should be +4 for your Masterwork weapons, and +3 for your normal weapons. Spellcraft, +7 (3.5 ranks, +2 INT, +2 Synergy) Just a reminder – this synergy bonus is conditional (assuming it comes from UMD). Also, from a purely suggestion POV… that half-rank in Spellcraft could possibly be better spent elsewhere. That would assume, of course, that you’d be willing to dedicate 2 ranks to the skill next level. For whatever reason, half-ranks seem like a waste to me; when I do something like what you have here, I’ll usually pick one particular class skill to “pair” it with. Then I alternate putting 2 skill points every other level into each of those two skills. For example, in the case of your rogue I might pick Climb to match up with Spellcraft. At 4th level, I’d drop two skill points into Climb; at 5th level I’d drop two into Spellcraft; then back and forth – on even levels, putting two skill points into a class skill and on odd levels putting skill points into the cross class skill. But that’s just my personal thing. If you were in the judging for round one, it certainly wouldn’t’ve cost you any points at all. Masterwork composite shortbow (+2 Str bonus) (750 Gp) I get a price of 525 gp for this item. A “regular” composite shortbow costs 75 gold. Making it masterwork adds 300 gold. Each point of Strength bonus adds an additional 75 – 150 total in our case. So add 75+300+150 and you get a total of 525. This is good because…. Total Equipment Cost = 5399 Gp, 7 Sp When I dump your stuff into Excel and add it up, I come up with a total of 5400 gp, 7 sp – which puts you over. However, you “spent” too much on your bow, so you’ll actually have spent less than listed. If we adjust your bow cost, your gear is worth a total of 5175 gp, 7 sp. So you should have 224 gp, 3 sp left. I really don’t feel like verifying your mount’s stats; I’m just going to assume you yanked them directly from the SRD for now. ;) Appearance: <<snippy>> How tall is he? We know he’s 180 pounds – but only if we read what his horse is carrying. Otherwise, it’s a solid description. History: <<more snippies>> Dude! That’s freakin’ sad! :weep: Personality: <<Snippy McSnippy was here!>> Not bad. One thing I’ll point out. Your personality combined with your appearance doesn’t really “explain” your 8 Charisma. I understand Charisma is a great dump stat for this sort of build; heck, it’s a great dump stat for a great many builds. ;) Your descriptive stuff covers your other abilities well – we hear about his muscles and agility, for example. So that’s something to keep in mind. Overall, it’s a well written background. There’re a few typos – but there’s always a few typos. ;) If you want them pointed out, let me know. I liked the explanation for his Use Magic Device ability as well as his Spellcraft ranks. I like when backgrounds cover things that are a bit out of the ordinary in a character’s stats. ;) Aarven being from a totally different world presents the DM with some challenges – but not too bad. His parents being dead works OK; they can always visit in a dream or as a ghost (ala Roy’s father from Order of the Stick :D ). He has an ally the DM can utilize if necessary; that’s always a good thing, in my opinion. He doesn’t have any foes listed directly; that’s not bad – there’s certainly enough background for a DM to invent somebody who felt slighted by Aarven in the past. I think you would’ve scored well if you had entered round 1. :) *** And that should catch me up on comments, I believe. Is there anybody who has posted a character who has not received detailed feedback?
Reece Darkstar 04-25-06, 07:18 PM	Gah... I knew I forgot to add that strength bonus to things when I changed it to 14. The appearance was written when he had 14 charisma which is why that doesn't match up. I probably should have altered that... but... oh well. His actual stats are all alot higher and I had to reduce them heaps for the 28 point buy. And I can't beleive I left out his hieght and weight.. I was sure I put those in the description.. I usually have them near the top of my character sheet... oops. I shall make changes as necessary. Thanks for pointing them out Zherog.
Zherog 04-25-06, 08:26 PM	Well, like I said, you did mention his weight - in the section about his horse. ;)
Edwind 04-25-06, 09:09 PM	There, I fix. Sorry for the 1st person to 3rd person, I do that in english all the time. I'm a narritive freak and I always like to tell stories. Thanks for clearing up my weapons, I knew you had to have MW in order to give it enhancements, but I didn't know they had to be +1 or higher depending on the ability, kinda just clicked when I read over your comments once or twice. I would actually like to hear about the mistakes in my writing though, but don't go out of the way to do it. I always like my writing P.E.A.C.H.ed.
Zherog 04-26-06, 10:28 AM	There, I fix. Sorry for the 1st person to 3rd person, I do that in english all the time. I do it too - and English is my first (and only) language. ;) Don't sweat it too much. Thanks for clearing up my weapons, I knew you had to have MW in order to give it enhancements, but I didn't know they had to be +1 or higher depending on the ability, kinda just clicked when I read over your comments once or twice. Here's the rule from the SRD. You can find the same thing in the DMG, in the section where it talks about magic weapons: A magic weapon must have at least a +1 enhancement bonus to have any of the abilities listed on Table: Melee Weapon Special Abilities or Table Ranged Weapon Special Abilities. I would actually like to hear about the mistakes in my writing though, but don't go out of the way to do it. I always like my writing P.E.A.C.H.ed. Alrighty... I'll see what I can do. I have to come up with a method that makes it easy to understand; if I was proofreading a word document, I'd just mark it up. I'll see how it looks in a post.. Later today or possibly tomorrow (hopefully).
Mercurius 04-26-06, 11:14 AM	Here's Ashley, hopefully with enough corrections: "Once upon a time, the duke and duchess Merlose of the duchy of Serra were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. Dubbed Ashley Merlose, she was a sight to be seen, and all the members of the court were sure that she would one day be wooed by the greatest men of the kingdom. Her hair was as fair as straw, her eyes as blue as a tranquil pool on a cloudless day, and her skin pale as cream. She was intelligent as well, voraciously learning everything her private tutors could provide for her. "In her youth, she was fascinated by the histories of holy knights and tales of the handsome princes who fought against evil and injustice. Whenever her duchy was visited by a noble band of adventurers, she would do her best to witness their processions through the streets and hear tales of the evil they had vanquished. She watched the young lads of the court, including her brother, Sydney, as they sparred with their instructor, and often times she would sneak into the practices herself. Her poor strength left her ill-suited to defeating her fellow students, but there were a few occasions when she managed to land the telling blow. Nevertheless, her beleaguered parents would do their best to constrain this unbecoming behavior, scolding their daughter for her defiance. It was this behavior that lead to duke Merlose demanding Ashley never cut her hair short again. "If her participation in the boys' formal sword training had been problematic, the young Ashley's zeal for righteousness proved to be far worse. Her inquisitive nature, so promising in her studies, also lead her to skulking about the court, uncovering hidden secrets and indiscretions and airing them for all to see. Many were the advisors and nobles who suffered embarrassment as their minor dalliances with the help were whispered behind their back. Far too much of their fellow noble's hard earned gold was spent avoiding a stint in the local stocks as their questionable business practices were discovered by the town guard. "Finally, poor duke Merlose had been pushed to his wit's end. He and his wife agreed to send Ashley to the wizarding academy in the countryside, hoping that the instructors of the rigorous school would work some discipline in to her head. Ashley was sent off and lost herself in her new studies, spending hours perusing the tomes of knowledge and histories that her professors provided. A gifted apprentice, she focused on the arts of divination in the hopes of learning more about the secrets that the unrighteous might keep hidden. Her professors did their best to prohibit access to the more complex and dangerous spells that she might learn, and eventually she began to feel confined in the academy. At night, she would slip out of her bedroom and wander the hills around the academy, practicing her sword arm with a scavenged piece of wood. It was during one of these nocturnal jaunts that Ashley met Callo. "Callo was a young but experienced copper dragon who had taken up residence in the hills of the kingdom. At first, Ashley had been fearful of the great wyrm, but they quickly became fast friends. From then on, Callo and Ashley would spend hours in his cave, discussing the finer points of chivalry and swordplay, as well as the arcane arts. Callo allowed Ashley to read through his library to her heart's content, and they passed the months in each other's company while Ashley confounded her instructors with her rapidly growing knowledge of magical techniques not covered by their curriculum. "It was in the summer of her 19th year that Ashley received the news of her betrothal. Duke Merlose had found a suitable suitor for his daughter. The intended noble had large vineyards in the south of the kingdom, and the dowry he had offered the duke was quite extraordinary for such a rambunctious daughter. However, the ever defiant Ashley quietly refused to be married off to some unknown nobleman, and instead concocted a plan for her escape. She called upon Callo's aid, and after explaining her plan to him, the dragon's uproarious laughter echoed throughout his cavernous lair for no less than five minutes before subsiding. Once Ashley's hearing had returned, the jovial copper dragon agreed to her plan, and she immediately made preparations for her escape. "Not long after, the students of the academy were lead on a nature excursion, and the instructor noted that Ashley seemed far more excited than he had seen her before. He mistakenly took this as a good sign. As the students and their horses travelled the winding hills towards the forest that was their destination, Callo, in the guise of a red dragon, swooped over the hills and snatched Ashley away, disappearing into the horizon before nary a spell nor arrow could retaliate. "Ashley was deposited some leagues away, in a neighboring kingdom. She summarily cut her hair and bound her breasts, adorning herself in the clothes of a nobleman. With a parting goodbye to Callo, she took his generous gifts and set out into the world, to right wrongs and fight against evil, just as the knights and princes she had always wanted to be. "Since her daring escape, Ashley has traveled neighboring lands, seeking out wrongs and battling against those who would prey upon the weak. She has fought highway men, orcs, and even managed to best an ogre. Tales of her adventures have reached Callo's ears, and he is proud of his pupil and friend, though he's not seen her since those days almost a year ago. Ashley has maintained her noble bearing and strives to uphold her principles. She was instrumental in the uncovering of a cult dedicated to overthrowing the small barony of Adagast, and helped the knights of the baron in the assault against their covey. Though the leader of the cult, an Ogre Mage by the name of Lore'kur, escaped, Ashley was commended for her efforts. She has since departed the barony, searching for more wrongs to right." Ashley Merlose, human diviner, dresses as a young nobleman. She carries herself as a noble, chivalrous warrior, wielding her rapier with little skill but much determination. She holds to the tenets of the noble paladin, tithing gold to the needy and showing mercy where she can. She maintains her male disguise, and she appears as a teenage nobleman of fair features with a soft voice. She has no intention of returning to her homeland, though she misses her dear brother terribly. Ashley stands 5' 7" tall, with a slight and lithe build. Her hair is cut into a short, cropped style, and dyed a reddish-brown. Her blue eyes hint at her keen intelligence. Her attire is well appointed and cared for, comprised primarily of whites and yellows. She wears a silver clasp with a blue stone accent on her left ear, and a ring of similar elaboration on her right hand. Her rapier's hilt is crafted to resemble the wings of a bird, and a red stone sits in the pommel. Ashley Merlose Lawful Good Human Aristocrat 1/Wizard (Diviner) 3 Strength: 8 Dexterity: 14 Constitution: 12 Intelligence 17 Wisdom: 12 Charisma: 12 Fortitude: +2 = + 1 Base + 1 Constitution Reflex: +3 = + 1 Base + 2 Dexterity Will: +6 = +5 Base + 1 Wisdom BAB/Grapple: +1/+0 Attack: Masterwork Rapier +4 (1d6-1, 18-20/x2) or Masterwork Composite Shortbow +4 (1d6-1, 20/x3) Initiative: +6 = +2 Dexterity + 4 Improved Initiative Speed: 30' (6 squares) Armor Class: 18 = 10 + 2 (Dex) + 5 (Armor) + 1 (Shield). Touch 12, Flat Footed 16 Hit Dice: 1d8 + 3d4 + 4 (19 hp) Skills Diplomacy (Cha) +10 = 5 ranks + 1 Charisma + 4 synergy Disguise (Cha) +3 = 2 ranks + 1 Charisma Gather Information (Cha) +3 = 2 ranks + 1 Charisma Knowledge [Arcana] (Int) +8 = 5 ranks + 3 Intelligence Knowledge [Geography] (Int) +4 = 1 rank + 3 Intelligence Knowledge [History] (Int) +4 = 1 rank + 3 Intelligence Knowledge [Nobility & Royalty] (Int) +8 = 5 ranks + 3 Intelligence Listen (Wis) +5 = 4 ranks + 1 Wisdom Perform [Stringed Instruments] (Cha) +4 = 1 rank + 1 Charisma + 2 Circumstance Sense Motive (Wis) +7 = 6 ranks + 1 Wisdom Spellcraft (Int) +12 = 7 ranks + 3 Intelligence + 2 synergy Spot (Wis) +5 = 4 ranks + 1 Wisdom Tumble (Dex) +5 = 3 ranks + 2 Dex Languages Known: Common, Draconic, Elven, Sylvan Feats 1st Level - Improved Initiative - Dodge 2nd Level - Scribe Scroll 3rd Level - Weapon Finesse Class Abilities Proficiencies: All simple and martial weapons. All types of armor and shields. Summon Familiar Spellbook Arcane Spell Failure Wizard Spells (Divination Specialist. Prohibited School Necromancy) Spellbook (spells marked with an * are Divination spells) 0th Level All cantrips except Disrupt Undead and Touch of Fatigue 1st Level - Truestrike* - Magic Missile - Protection from Chaos/Evil/Good/Law - Detect Secret Doors* - Shield - Disguise Self - Tenser's Floating Disk - Magic Weapon - Color Spray (100 gp) - Expeditious Retreat (100 gp) 2nd Level - Web - See Invisibility* - Protection from Arrows (200 gp) - Cat's Grace (200 gp) Spells Per Day 5*/4*/3* (*Includes one bonus Divination Spell) (10% ASF) Save DC 13 + spell level Typical Spells Prepared 0th - Resistance, Acid Splash, Detect Magic*, Read Magic*, Flare 1st - Truestrike*, Magic Missile, Protection from Evil, Magic Missile 2nd - Web, Protection from Arrows, See Invisibility* Equipment (5,400 gp total character wealth) +1 Mithral Chain Shirt (2,100 gp) - +5 AC bonus, -0 Armor Check Penalty, 10% ASF MW Rapier (320 gp) - 1d6 damage, 18-20/x2 crit, finesse MW Composite Shortbow - (375 gp) 1d6 damage, 20/x3 crit +20 arrows (1 gp) 2 Oil of Magic Weapon (50 gp each) Mithril Light Shield (1,009 gp) - +1 AC bonus, -0 Armor Check Penalty, 0% ASF 4 Potion of Cure Light Wounds (50 gp each) Courtier's Outfit (30 gp) + Courtier's Jewelry (50 gp) Courtier's Outfit (30 gp) + Courtier's Jewelry (50 gp) Explorer's Outfit (free) Andrinor, Light Warhorse (150 gp) + Bit & Bridle (2 gp) + Riding Saddle (10 gp) + Saddlebags (4 gp) Everburning Torch (110 gp) Spell Component Pouch (5 gp) Spellbook, Wizard's (free) MW Violin (100gp) Pouch, Belt (1 gp) Soap (1 lb) (5 sp) 3 Empty Flasks (9 cp) Bedroll (1 sp) Blanket, Winter (5 sp) Caltrops (1 gp) Ink (1 oz vial) (8 gp) Inkpen (1 sp) Rope, silk. 50 ft. (10 gp) Waterskin (1 gp) Whetstone (2 cp) Tent (10 gp) Rations, trail. 5 days (25 sp) Antitoxin vial (50 gp) Club (0 gp) Disguise Kit (50 gp) Remaining Money: 20 gp, 1 sp, 9 cp I think that should deal with all the changes. I added up her items and the spells I'd scribed in her spell book with my starting gold, and came up with a small amount of remaining gold. One gold more than I'd figured from before. Therefore, I changed the Remaining Money line in her inventory. This left me with several spells to gain. I had given her the three starting spells, forgetting that she got an extra one per point of INT bonus, and had somehow only given her one spell at second level. Therefore, I needed to add four spells to her list to account for everything she should have in her book. I hope my math was correct. I added better paragraph breaks in her backstory, and a better description of how she looks. In addition, I added her attack values, touch and flat footed ACs, speed, and alignment to her stat block. Hopefully this all adds up. That should be fixed, then.
jennibert 04-26-06, 01:18 PM	Shanara Moonshadow The story takes place in the country of Kerubina, a theocracy dedicated to the worship of Alran-Kor, the LN god of Honorable Battle. Shanara’s mother Misery is from the capital and largest city, Tollone. The second largest city in the country is Bladegash, home of the Brande Military Academy. As the country is nearly equatorial and near a desert, the people tend to be dark-skinned and dark-haired. This is a low level setting. There are few clerics powerful enough to even cast raise dead, and even then the spell is not guarateed to work as the LN God of Life and Death is loathe to upset the cycle of life. (For example, when Misery retires, she’s about 8th level (2 of them fighter levels), and yet she’s one of the highest ranking clerics in Bladegash.) The only gods mentioned in this story are Alran-Kor and Baumol. The former is the LN God of Honorable Battle, who teaches that we can overcome the conflict that is an inherent part of us through discipline and order. Protection of those who need it and fighting honorably are some of his main teachings. Baumol is the NE God of Poison and Corruption. Worship of this deity is illegal in Kerubina, but his clergy are still there. Apart from his clergy are the Corrupters, an evil paladin variant (from Dragon) who seek to insinuate themselves into a society and then convert the people therein to evil and worship of Baumol. Baumol teaches that the world is corrupt and that you must help yourself as no one will help you without wanting something in return. Setting devised by Mercurius For the first time in her life, Misery Mulligan was happy. She had begun life as the illegitimate daughter of a prostitute, and was now a respected cleric of Alran-Kor and one of the top cadets at the prestigious Brande Military Academy, even the leader of her unit. And what was more, she was in love. Eliot Pentant was everything she’d never thought she’d find—sweet, kind, smart, and easy to talk to. He was the most popular person in the school, always there to help everyone with their problems. In fact, he was helping Misery through a minor crisis of faith that she had been having, but the problem was not severe enough to ruin her joy in her position or her love for him. But then her world fell apart. The Thousand Tears Bible, an artifact of malevolent chaos, took over the body of one of her classmates and wreaked havoc through the city of Bladegash. Misery and her unitmates managed to defeat the evil, but not before many of their classmates were killed, including Misery’s beloved Eliot. Heartbroken, Misery chose to go with her classmates to the south to defeat the halfling death knight whose undead legions were ravaging the countryside, even though she knew herself to be pregnant. Misery’s daughter Shanara was born after her return to Bladegash a few months later, but there was something odd about the baby. She appeared perfectly human, but there was an aura about her that many people found unnerving. Misery’s research revealed the problem with her child: Shanara was a tiefling, presumably as a result of the unbridled evil wild magic and hordes of undead Misery had fought while pregnant. As the daughter of a high-ranking member of the Church of Alran-Kor, Shanara grew up never wanting for anything. Her mother, always afraid of the evil undertones that were an inherent part of her daughter’s nature, was always strict but fair, and did her best to encourage any good things that Shanara might do. So Shanara was a bright and happy girl, friendly as her father had been, though she had few friends. The otherworldly aura she projected as a tiefling made people inherently uncomfortable around her. Only a few people seemed not to be bothered by it, and one of them was Stellan Moonshadow, who eventually married her mother. Stellan loved Shanara as his own, even after her two younger brothers came along, and she revered him as the only father she’d ever known. By the age of fifteen, Shanara was attending a preparatory school in Bladegash, with the intention of going to the Brande to train as a paladin. She had felt the call to paladinhood since a young age, and felt that the strict code was also a good way to control her inherent evil tendencies as a tiefling. She was out with her class one day, learning about keeping the peace, when the group happened upon a unit of the Bladegash City Guard responding to a murder scene. The class followed along to observe, and came upon the victim…Stellan Moonshadow. Shanara felt her perfect world breaking apart, but she did not cry then. Instead, she requested permission to visit Misery at the temple and give her the news herself, and then held her mother as she cried. Shanara changed after that, much more serious and protective of her mother and two younger brothers, especially as Stellan’s murder remained unsolved. A part of her even considered giving up her plan of going to the Brande so she could help her mother, but Misery wouldn’t hear of it, and Shanara entered the academy at the age of eighteen. The night before she moved into the school barracks, Misery took Shanara out for dinner, just the two of them, and warned her that not all people are as they seem, and that she should be careful of whom she got close to. When Shanara protested that she knew that, and she was a pretty good judge of character, so what did it matter? “Because I was the same,” Misery replied. “I was not naïve when I entered the Brande, and I’m an excellent judge of character as well. But I was still taken in by the smoothest, most wonderful liar I’ve ever met: Eliot Pentant.” And Misery for the first time told Shanara the truth about her father. Eliot had been an evil paladin of Baumol, the God of Poison and Corruption, and had been using the secrets his classmates confided in him to corrupt them to evil and the worship of his vile deity. Misery herself had been close to giving up her faith in Alran-Kor as a result of his machinations. Misery had already begun to suspect him because he was the only one who could have corrupted another of her classmates, but couldn’t bring herself to believe it until the Thousand Tears Bible told her the truth as an attempt to demoralize her, and then killed him before her eyes. “And what’s more, he’s probably still out there somewhere. His body was stolen from the temple before he was questioned by speak with dead spells. I imagine his church did manage to have him raised from the dead, since he was extremely effective against us,” Misery mused, her face filled with pain. Shanara saw then that, even after nearly twenty years-- and knowing what he really was—a part of Misery still loved Eliot. Shanara spent the next three years studying hard at the Brande and making a name for herself as her mother had before her, but her focus had changed. She had always planned on going into the military upon graduation, but the pain in her mother’s eyes changed her mind. Her mild unholy aura would have made her an inefficient military commander anyway, so upon graduation she set out into the world, determined to find and redeem her father and bring him back to her mother. Shanara is currently 21 years old, a recent graduate of the Brande, as that school expects students will graduate at about 3rd-4th level. Her mother remains in Bladegash raising Shanara’s two brothers—Brady, 12, is in early training to be a necromancer like his father, and Bryce, 9, is showing potential inherent arcane power. Her closest friend is Kelyan Callegan, the son of dear friends of her mother’s, who is a year younger than her and thus remains at school. She was the leader of the unit to which she was assigned at the Brande, but was only really close to two of its four other members: the evoker Jess and dex-based fighter Ray, a pair of identical half-elven twins with razor sharp wits. But even these few friends have been left behind in her quest to find her father. Shanara is of slightly above average height for a human woman, and solidly built. She has medium brown skin, with thick golden hair that she usually wears loose to her shoulders. Her eyes are a calm, friendly brown. She wears impeccably clean full plate decorated in the blue and white colors of her god, and her wooden shield diplays his holy symbol--a sword chained to a shield (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/discipleofsakura/DnD/Alran-Kor-Symbol.jpg). A high quality sword hangs at her side, and she has a bow and arrows slung at her back. Shanara is a serious, soft spoken young woman. While generally friendly and easy-going, she is slow to trust people in general, and has trouble making friends. Once someone has earned her trust, she is extremely loyal and protective. Shanara generally does not trouble to hide her positive emotions, but keeps her negative feelings under tight control. This is particularly true of anger, as that emotion is capable of making her consider foregoing her paladin code and giving in to the evil that is her inherent nature. (Not that Shanara has actually given in; being raised by LG cleric has given her a very sound moral base from which she resolutely does not deviate. But she remains fearful of her evil-touched nature anyway.) Generally speaking, however, Shanara is a pleasant person seeking to help whomever she can while she fulfills her self-appointed quest to find the man who fathered her. She is always willing to help someone in need, though she prefers to attempt to redeem the evil she encounters rather than to simply kill it. After all, she herself is of an inherently evil race, and she’s a paladin. Unless specifically asked, Shanara allows people to believe she is human. Shanara Moonshadow Tiefling paladin 3 (dedicated to Alran-Kor, God of Honorable Battle) STR 14 (6 points) DEX 10 (0 points, +2 racial mod) CON 13 (5 points) INT 12 (2 points, +2 racial mod) WIS 13 (5 points) CHA 14 (10 points, -2 racial mod) (6+5+2+5+10=28) AC 21 (10 + 9 (armor) + 2 (shield)), Touch 10, Flat-Footed 21 HP 24 (10+5+6 (average of d10 (5.5)) +3 (CON)) Armor Check Penalty: -6 Speed: 30 ft base, 20 ft (can’t run) in armor Racial Abilities: Darkvision, darkness 1/day, resistance to cold 5, electricity 5, and fire 5. Type: native outsider. Class Abilities: Aura of good, detect evil at will, smite evil 1/day (+2 to attack, +3 to damage), divine grace, lay on hands 6 HP per day (pal 3 x +2 CHA), aura of courage, divine health Languages: Common, Infernal, Orc (2 automatic, 1 bonus from +1 INT) Feats: 1st level: Negotiator 3rd level: Weapon Focus(longsword) (favored weapon of Alran-Kor) Skills: Bluff +4 (+2 CHA, +2 racial) Diplomacy +10 (4 ranks, +2 CHA, +2 synergy (sense motive), +2 Negotiator) Hide -4 (+2 racial, -6 armor check) Knowledge(religion) +4 (3 ranks, +1 INT) Knowledge(nobility and royalty) +4 (3 ranks, +1 INT) Ride +2 (2 ranks) Sense Motive +9 (6 ranks, +1 WIS, +2 Negotiator) Saves: Fort: +6 (+3 base, +1 CON, +2 CHA) Ref: +3 (+1 base, +0 DEX, +2 CHA) Will: +4 (+1 base, +1 WIS, +2 CHA) Base Attack Bonus: +3 Grapple: +5 (+3 BAB, +2 STR) Attacks: MW longsword +7 (+3 BAB, +2 STR, +1 weapon focus, +1 MW) Damage: d8+2 (+2 STR), 19-20x2 crit MW mighty composite longbow (STR +2) +4 (+3 BAB, +0 DEX, +1 MW) Damage: d8+2 (+2 STR), 20x3 crit Gear (5400 gold pieces in value): Carried on her person: Wooden holy symbol of Alran-Kor (1 gp) MW longsword (315 gp) MW mighty composite longbow (STR +2) (600 gp) +1 fullplate (2650 gp) MW heavy wooden shield (157 gp) Wand of cure light wounds (50 charges) (750 gp) 2 scrolls of create water (25 gp) 3 oils of magic weapon (150 gp) 2 potions of shield of faith +2 (100 gp) 1 oil of bless weapon (100 gp) Flint and steel (1 gp) 2 flasks holy water (50 gp) waterskin (1 gp) 149 gp, 8 sp Carried on her horse: Heavy horse (200 gp) Riding saddle, bit and bridle, saddlebags (16 gp) 8 days trail rations (4 gp) 50 ft hempen rope (1 gp) bedroll and blanket (6 sp) 10 sheets of parchment (2 gp) ink pen (1 sp) 2 vials of ink (16 gp) 2 lbs soap (1 gp) sewing needle (5 sp) small steel mirror (10 gp) I went ahead and posted everything again, with the technical changes that Zherog suggested. I'm pretty sure I caught everything (I had his comments open in another window while I was doing it), but if there's anything missing, please let me know. I also added a little bit to the desciption of the setting (it occurred to me that I forgot to mention that Shanara's blonde hair is highly unusual in her country), and an additional paragraph on her background as noted by Zherog. Just as a question, is there a timeline on Round 2?
Doopliss 04-26-06, 01:39 PM	I didn't have much time to check the new/updated entries, so I kind of just vanished... I should be able to look things over more now, though... Just as a question, is there a timeline on Round 2?Not yet... I'm having trouble coming up with an appropriate encounter, and a lot of the entries haven't been updated. I'll post when as soon as it gets worked out, though.
DisposableHero_ 04-28-06, 02:01 AM	Soren Sunstrider Soren Sunstrider was born, if you can rightly call it that, into slavery on the scorching sands of the Ashdrift Desert. Soren was brought into this world not by a mother or father, but by arcane forces, crossing the best traits of the two dominant races of the region, humans and sand giants. Soren was created by the sorcerers of Ashdrift’s largest human kingdom, Sulentai, and in their service as a laborer and soldier he toiled for many years. Soren is unsure of exactly how long he spent in slavery to the Sulentaian empire, for it was not until long after that he was taught the significance of marking the passage of time. Soren, under Sulentaian banner, fought in numerous battles against the sand giant tribes that often raided Sulentaian cities. Eventually, as the sand giant raids intensified, he fell captive to the raiders who represented the second half of his unusual heritage. Soren thought little of his captivity among the sand giants, having merely exchanged one set of cruel masters for another. He found little difference between the lashes of giants fists and human whips. The sand giants however had much less use for physical labor than the humans and instead employed the slaves they captured in more dangerous endeavors. The network of caverns that run under the Ashdrift Desert are rich with crystal deposits and along with many other slaves Soren was forced to mine them in the most dangerous and collapse prone of these caverns. It was while performing such a task that Soren was inadvertently and instantaneously set free. The cave in which Soren worked collapsed about him and his fellow slaves, burying most of the less hearty human workers in sand and razor sharp crystals. Soren however, in a stroke of miraculous luck, survived the cave in and found himself unable to return to the giant settlement. Battered and covered in bleeding wounds still bearing the razor sharp crystals that caused them Soren wandered the winding network of caves beneath the desert for many days before coming upon the surface again. Exhausted and starving, but most startled of all to see that the burning sands he had known all his life were gone, Soren quickly collapsed on a mountain trail and likely would have died there. Fortune however, once against smiled on the Half Giant, as he was happened upon by a caravan of dwarven traders. Taking pity upon the helpless form the dwarves tended to Soren’s wounds allowing him time to recover as they journeyed north to their homes. After his recovery Soren quickly befriended his rescuers, having known no kindness in his life before them. On the months long journey from the mountains where he was found to the northern kingdom home to the traders Soren came to learn what he now knows of the civilized world. The perilous journey saw Soren fight beside his rescuers many times, earning their respect and camaraderie. By the time of their arrival in the Dwarven kingdom Soren had come to speak their language fluently, and was welcomed as a valued friend of the dwarven community. Soren has since taken up a hermitic residence in close proximity to the dwarven fortress that is home to the traders who initially took him in. He has adapted quickly to survival in the wild, though not so quickly to the cold, his desert upbringing made life in the tundra a shock initially to say the least, and he still brings many extra blankets and heavy cloaks with him when he travels. He carries with him two tokens of the friendship shown to him by the Dwarves, the first a fine suit of plate armor, the second his sword gifted to him upon his arival to the Dwarven kingdom, its blade forged from the crystals the dwarves removed from his wounds when they found him. Soren is a mountain of a man, standing just over eight feet tall with a body reflecting a life of hard labor and battle. His skin is deeply tanned and his eyes a light blue like the sky of a sunny day. His dark brown hair is normally overgrown and untended and a beard forged of neglect is a common sight on his face. Soren bears many scars on his back both from the deep wounds inflicted upon him by the falling crystals during the cave in, and from the whips of his masters prior. His face is battered and weathered by the trials of a hard life but one really couldn’t say if Soren looks old or young for his age as even he is not sure how old he actually is. Soren’s personality is Dwarf like and this is how he is most often described. He values hard work, honesty, and loyalty among friends. He rarely complains about anything, taking each challenge with a quiet determination. He speaks Common and Dwarven though he is better at the Dwarven tongue and has developed a dwarf like accent. He is introverted, keeping to himself in the company of anyone but close friends, he meditates frequently and lives in solitude. He is very direct when he speaks, never having learned the finer points of diplomacy and social interaction. This tends to get him in trouble when speaking to people who expect a measure of tact or sensitivity and is another reason he prefers dwarven company as they rarely bother with pleasantries when there is a problem at hand. Soren’s psionic talents are a result mostly of his warrior training in Sulentai, though he has taken steps through meditation to improve his control of these abilities. He views these talents as gifts, and as a representation of his warrior spirit and determination. Soren hates slavery above all things and is determined put an end to it whenever he encounters it. He believes all slavers to be garbage deserving of nothing but swift death. Neutral Good Half Giant Psychic Warrior 3 Stat Score Mod Cost Strength 18 [+4] (16 base +2 racial – 10 points) Dexterity 10 [0] (12 base -2 racial – 4 points) Constitution 16 [+3] (14 base +2 racial – 6 points) Intelligence 10 [0] (10 base – 2 points) Wisdom 14 [+2] (14 base – 6 points) Charisma 8 [-1] (8 base – 0 points) Point Total: 10+4+6+2+6+0 = 28 points Armor Class: 18 (10 +8 Armor), Touch 10, Flat Footed 18 Temporary AC Modifiers: +4 Shield Bonus (Force Screen), -1 Size and -1 Dex (Expansion) Speed: 30 ft base, 20 ft in armor (can't run) Hit Dice: 3d8 + 8 (psionic body) +9 (con) – 34 hp Saves: Fortitude: +6 (+3 Base +3 Constitution) Reflex: +1 (+1 Base) Will: +3 (+1 Base +2 Wisdom) Temporary Save Modifiers: +2 against fire spells and effects (Fire Acclimated) Attack: Large Masterwork Deep Crystal Greatsword +7 melee [+2 base +4 strength +1 masterwork] (3d6+6, 19-20) - +2d6 damage by expending psionic focus (Psionic Weapon) - +2d6 damage by spending two power points for 1 minute or until successful hit (Deep Crystal) Huge Masterwork Deep Crystal Greatsword +7 melee [+2 base +5 strength -1 size +1 Masterwork] (4d6+7, 19-20) (under effects of expansion) - +2d6 damage by expending psionic focus (Psionic Weapon) - +2d6 damage by spending two power points for 1 minute or until successful hit (Deep Crystal) Large Masterwork Mighty Composite Longbow +3 ranged [+2 base +1 masterwork] (2d6+4, 20/x3) Huge Masterwork Mighty Composite Longbow +1 ranged [+2 base -1 dex -1 size +1 masterwork] (3d6+4, 20/x3) (under effects of expansion) Racial Abilities: Giant Type, Low Light Vision, Fire Acclimated, Powerful Build, Naturally Psionic Psi-Like Abilities – 1/day – Stomp, ML 1, Save DC 10 (Charisma Based) Feats: Psicrystal Affinity (Single Minded) (1), Psionic Body (Psychic Warrior 1), Psionic Weapon (Psychic Warrior 2), Psionic Talent (3) Psionics: Psychic Warrior Manifester Level 3, Save DCs 12 + Power Level (Wisdom Based) 10 Power Points/Day (3 Base +3 Wisdom +2 Naturally Psionic +2 Psionic Talent) Powers Known 1st – Force Screen, Expansion, Chameleon Skills: 12 total skill points Concentration +12 (6 ranks +3 constitution +3 single minded psicrystal) Speak Language (Dwarven) (2 CC ranks) Psicraft +2 (2 ranks) Survival +3 (2 CC ranks +2 wisdom) Climb +6 (+4 strength +2 Climbers Kit) Equipment: Worn: Masterwork Full Plate (1650 gp) Cold Weather Outfit (8 gp) Large Masterwork Deep Crystal Greatsword (1400 gp) Large Masterwork Mighty Composite Long Bow [+4 str] (900 gp) 40x Large Arrows (4 gp) 2x Belt Pouch (2 gp): 2x Powerstone of Float (50 gp) 2x Powerstone of Animal Affinity (300 gp) 2x Powerstone of Chameleon (50 gp) 2x Powerstone of Expansion [ML 3] (150 gp) 310 gp 5 sp 8 cp Backpack (2 gp): 5x Potion of Cure Light Wounds (250 gp) Hooded Lantern (7 gp) Lamp Oil (3 pints) (3 sp) Bedroll (1 sp) 4x Winter Blanket (2 gp) Explorer’s Outfit (10 gp) Handaxe (6 gp) Dagger (2 gp) Climbers Kit (80 gp) Heavy Horse (200 gp) with Pack Saddle (5 gp): Iron Pot (5 sp) Trail Rations (10 days) (5 gp) Flint and Steel (1 gp) Whetstone (2 cp) 200 ft Hempen Rope (4 gp) Feed (10 days) (5 sp) Psicrystal Diminutive Construct Hit Dice: 3 (17 hp) Initiative: +2 Speed: 30 ft, Climb 20 ft Armor Class: 17 (+4 Size +2 Dex +1 Natural) Touch 16, Flat Footed 15 Base Attack/Grapple: +2/-15 Attack: -- Full Attack: -- Space/Reach: 1 ft/0 ft Special Attacks: -- Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Hardness 8, Improved Evasion, Single Minded Personality, Self Propulsion, Share Powers, Sighted, Telepathic Link, Deliver Touch Powers Saves: Fort +6, Reflex +1, Will +3 Abilities: Str 1, Dex 15, Con --, Int 7, Wis 10, Cha 10 Skills: Climb +14, Listen +6, Move Silently +6, Search +2, Spot +6, Survival +1, Hide +24*, Concentration +6, Psicraft -1 Feats: Alertness * - Includes +10 for Chameleon Power Here is a full repost of Soren for round two, with the suggested changes as well as I could make them. I will try to participate in round two, though my schedule may stand in the way of that. Here's hoping anyway :D
dandfan 05-07-06, 09:41 PM	Am I to late to submit a character for round two? This is sooooo awsome, I really want to get into this.
Zherog 05-07-06, 10:59 PM	Nope, you can enter. Just be aware that any posts made between now and May 15th (give or take) will vanish. If you post your character before then, you'll need to repost it when the new (and in theory improved) boards come up.
dandfan 05-08-06, 07:53 PM	Oh, right. Well then, can I wait to post my charater untill then? Or will that be too late?
Zherog 05-09-06, 11:52 AM	You can post then. We don't have a firm date yet for the start of round 2.
Zherog 05-11-06, 12:40 PM	Not that the upgrade has been delayed. Folks interested in Round 2 can go ahead and post new characters again; remember that on May 30th, the new snapshot will be taken and posts once again will be hanging in limbo.
dandfan 05-11-06, 09:54 PM	I'll have it up by monday then.
turalisj 05-11-06, 10:03 PM	The other place you use a comma is in a list of items. Example: "Zherog has a lot of extra gear in his pack including caltrops, a crowbar, a spade, and a bag of flour." Last time I looked through it you also had one of my everfull mugs (patent pending), a picture of Aeon Flux, and How to Pick Up Chicks; For Dummies. Btw: I think it's Note That.
jennibert 05-23-06, 04:33 PM	Just idly curious, and not meaning to nag or anything, but is there any sort of timeline on Round 2? Even just a "probably in June after the update" sort of answer would be more than enough.... And there will be plenty of time, right? I work all day with access to the internet only during lunch, and have various things going on that might make it hard to find a time that I and a judge are available.... Thanks!
Zherog 05-23-06, 04:41 PM	Go check out the suggestion thread. ;)
Doopliss 05-23-06, 04:54 PM	Just idly curious, and not meaning to nag or anything, but is there any sort of timeline on Round 2? Even just a "probably in June after the update" sort of answer would be more than enough....Yup, things will probably get moving once this update mess is sorted out.
HappyDragon 06-16-06, 09:02 PM	With all the stuff going on with the boards, I was just wondering if it is safe to post an updated version of the character suitable for Round 2 yet? Don't want to post something only to have it disappear later. Thanks in advance. :)
jennibert 07-19-06, 04:42 PM	Well, as the various technical issues with the boards seem to have been taken care of for the moment, Round 2 any time soon? Anyone? :D I am still looking forward to it....
Mercurius 07-21-06, 12:35 PM	Well, as the various technical issues with the boards seem to have been taken care of for the moment, Round 2 any time soon? Anyone? :D I am still looking forward to it.... Hear hear. I want to see how Ashley fares in this second round of competition.
ChaoticAwsome 07-21-06, 02:53 PM	:confused: Is it almost time for round 2 yet? :confused:
TheChilliGod 07-21-06, 04:00 PM	:zzz: Huh? Wha? Oh, right. The competition. About 3 weeks ago, we actually were about to do something, believe it or not. But, uhm, I'm waiting on a bunch of deadwood at the moment. By my understanding of the situation, we're going to contact each of you by PM when we're good and ready, and we'll take you through Round 2 like that. But, uhm, I don't have the material right now *coughdeadwoodcough!*, so you might have to wait a little longer. I'll send a wake-up call to the other judges, that we might (FINALLY) get to resolve this and try out for HC#2.
jennibert 07-22-06, 03:04 PM	Thanks for letting us know, ChilliGod. I'll look forward to the PM!
a_m0ogle 09-13-06, 05:08 PM	So, is this competition long dead or..? :P
jennibert 09-18-06, 11:36 PM	Yeah, pretty much. But if you're interested, there is now a Hero Craftsmen #2 (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=702688) running. We'd love to have some entries....