How do you introduce D&D to your family? [Archive] - Wizards Community

How do you introduce D&D to your family? [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Bak
07-25-04, 07:33 AM In my parents’ knowledge, there is no concept of RPG. Therefore, I am not able to explain D&D in a brief sentence. Every week I go out for D&D, they would ask, “Where do you go?”
“Going for a game.” I reply.
“What kind of game?” they ask.
“A Table Role Play Game call D&D” I say.
“Haven’t you already had a PS-2? Why do you still go out for GAME?” they cry.
“I will have my meal outside and return around mid-night. Please do not lock the door…” I say and leave slowly and silently.

In their mind, Games can only be two kinds: board game (they think that is just a variant of chess) and TV/PC game. And they don’t believe a board game would consist Level. (Strangely, they understand what is Level…)

Maybe in Asian region, people have less idea on Role Play Game, especially adults. However, not even teenagers can understand either. How can I explain it in an efficient way to someone who doesn’t understand RPG?

(I hope you already have some idea about Chinese family culture.)
Yuffie
07-25-04, 07:40 AM Hmm.

Tell them it's like improv acting around a table.
Evandar_TAybara
07-25-04, 09:20 AM Even in countries where RPGs are fairly common, saying "I'm into role playing games" will generally be met with raised eyebrows and giggles.

The best way to describe it is as improvised acting (as Yuffie suggested) or as interative story telling. This second one has worked for me.

Briefly:

Role playing games involve each player takes on the role of a character within an imaginative world. One player called the Dungoen Master creates a story for these characters to act out, but all the descisions about what those characters say or do are make by the players controlling them. The Dungeon Master controls the rest of the characters and monsters that inhabit this world. Where an action that a character decides to take could have a variable result depending on how skilled that character is at performing that task (for example, trying to hit a monster with a sword), dice are used to resolve how that situation turns out.

Evan.
Evandar_TAybara
07-25-04, 09:21 AM But if you really want them to understand what you are doing, invite them along to watch a gaming session :)

Evan.
Bak
07-26-04, 02:02 AM Thanks for all suggestions.

I like the term “improvise”. I will try to translate it well in Chinese and tell my parents, although it is still to abstractive for them…

I think inviting them along to watch a game session is not possible. Some players there usually use foul language to describe their wordings. If my parents know that, they would certainly restrict me more…
CzarGarrett
07-26-04, 07:57 AM At first, I thought you were going to make it sound like you were gay and coming out.

"Mom, Dad. I have something to tell you."

"What is it dear?"

"I play D&D."

::mother drops cup, dad's eyes go wide.

Mom: "We'll still love you dear."

Dad: "Get out of my house you role-player!"

I tried explaining D&D to my parents once. My mother vaguely, kinda, sorta understood, but only because my Uncle used to play. My father has no imagination, so it was pointless to try and explain it to him.
Shoes
07-26-04, 09:28 AM Originally posted by Bak
How do you introduce D&D to your family?

Simple. One day I just told her (my mother) I got invited to a game of D&D and she said "Don't forget to take the garbage out before you go!". My family knows what D&D is and how it is NOT evil as most religous or MADD (Mothers Against Dungeons & Dragons) parents think it is.

Originally posted by Evandar_TAybara
But if you really want them to understand what you are doing, invite them along to watch a gaming session.

Bad idea, for two reasons. One, just because you are mature when playing the game doesn't mean your fellow players are gonna be and can ruin any chance for them to understand. And two, I don't think they want to sit there for 4-8 hours watching a bunch of kids (or adults) play a game.

Originally posted by Bak
Maybe in Asian region, people have less idea on Role Play Game, especially adults. However, not even teenagers can understand either.

(I hope you already have some idea about Chinese family culture.)

Yes, it's called hentai. :D
Yuffie
07-26-04, 10:08 AM ...

Hentai is Japanese in origin, not Chinese.
Gilrion
07-26-04, 01:04 PM Here's how I usually try to explain it. It's like writing a book. Only instead of writing it yourself, you just take the actions of one of the characters. Others around the table take the other characters, and one person (the GM) takes all the remaining ones (ie, the rest of the world, as necessary). I think that's simpler than 'acting'. It's more like you put yourself in the shoes of the character than act his actions out. Hope it helps.
FitzNighteyes
07-26-04, 02:09 PM I was 10 when I started playing role-playing games, with some books a friend had given me. I started by DMing for my brother (it was a game called Dragon Roar). Since I was on vacation (& traveling with my brother and mom) at the time, my mom got to watch us play the game. That saved me any problems with understanding what the game was, although that was a 10 year olds way of playing. ;)

Just let her think it's a board game. It's not like it matters so long as she lets you play. Explaining with things like "it's kinda like acting" just seems to worry some folks.

I usually explain it as: It's like a movie or book or play, but you get to make up the story as you go, and there are rules to determine the outcome of actions you take.
Edymnion
07-26-04, 02:30 PM Actually, I think a good way to describe it to them in a way they can understand, if they already know about computer games, is to show them a game like Final Fantasy, or any other video game RPG you may have. Show them your character running around talking to people, buying weapons/armor, fightning monsters, etc.

Then, tell them that D&D is like that game. Each person plays one of the people in the party, instead of one person controlling all four. And you don't use a computer, because this kind was made before computers and video games existed. You roll dice to see if you were able to hit the monster instead of letting the computer decide, and instead of having a program tell you what is going on, you have another guy that does that job.

Yes, if they know computer/video games, show them an RPG on that, and tell them that this kind of game is a computer version of the original game, which you are going out to play.

And you do not have to take them along to an actually session to show them what it is like. You can always simply hand them the Player's Handbook, and let them flip through that. If your family likes games, you could even be the DM and set up a simple little D&D game with the whole family. Dad can be the fighter with the sword, mom can be the cleric who heals people, little brother could be a wizard casting magic spells, that sort of thing. Nothing fancy, maybe just a classic "You are at the top of a cave filled with monsters. At the bottom of the cave is a magic item. Your villiage needs that magic item, and they sent you to go get it for them."

Doesn't have to be particularly good, but as long as they get the idea, you should be okay.
MrkGrismer
07-26-04, 02:39 PM Originally posted by Edymnion
And you don't use a computer, because this kind was made before computers and video games existed.

(sigh) this makes me feel soooo old. Since I've been playing D&D since almost the beginning, apparently I've been playing since before ENIAC! Yikes! :P

Anyways...

I always break it down to: "It's like 'pretend', but with rules."
Elendur
07-26-04, 02:39 PM I wonder if in Asia RPGs are more known as video games, hence the confusion.

Really from a parental perspective, D&D is about the same as playing cards; a bunch of friends sitting around a table, talking, eating, and playing a game. I don't know why the ongoing nature or storytelling aspects really matter.
Bak
07-27-04, 01:11 AM deleted...
Bak
07-27-04, 01:11 AM Great! I suppose this post will sink within days. Thanks for replies.
Originally posted by Elendur
I wonder if in Asia RPGs are more known as video games, hence the confusion.

Really from a parental perspective, D&D is about the same as playing cards; a bunch of friends sitting around a table, talking, eating, and playing a game. I don't know why the ongoing nature or storytelling aspects really matter.

Difference of Language and Culture does matter. You speak English (or American) so you can understand what RPG stands for or at least what it is about. However, in Hong Kong, most people use abbreviation in English form while don’t fully understand it. Even you have translated Role Play Game well into Chinese, it is still meaningless because it is totally a foreign object for local to understand.

Elendur, yes, most RPGs in Hong Kong refer to TV/PC games. That’s why when my parents hear “Level”, they think I am going to play a video game again. They also know I play MTG (Magic the Gathering), so they sometime may think I go out for a Friday Night match, even that is not Friday.

Anyway, I just want them not to annoy me each week and I don’t want they worry about me on D&D.

Thanks all again.

(I have read some abbreviation on this board but I can’t guess the meaning. What are BBEG, IMO and IIRC?)
Yuffie
07-27-04, 02:02 AM Big Bad Evil Guy, aka any one of the DM's signature or particularly potent evil NPCs / monsters.

In My Opinion

If I Recall Correctly

And just for the heck of it... AFAIK = As Far As I Know
Sildatorak
07-27-04, 02:39 AM Originally posted by MrkGrismer
I always break it down to: "It's like 'pretend', but with rules."

:eek: GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

I always describe it as "'make-believe' with rules." I guess that is the Mr. Rogers influence on my language. I still haven't told my mother, though, since she forbid me to play it in high school and I did anyway.
Rondulin
07-27-04, 10:07 AM Well Bak, I'd say just try to take some TIME to explain it to your parents. It IS hard to describe RPG or D&D in just one sentence to someone who has no understanding.
Actally I had the same problem with my parents, but then I just took some time and explained to them (an imaginary world with elves and humans, how fights are ruled, what role the DM plays...)Now they have a general idea (although they didn't understand that the DM "is always right").
So just take some time.
DragonsArt
07-27-04, 02:23 PM I tell them it's like acting in a movie, except the movie takes place in our imagination.

The DM is the director... he directs all the other actors and the players act out their characters.

Granted, they still don't quite understand it... but that puts it in familiar terms... everyone knows what an actor is, everyone knows what a director is.
BlackFiend
07-27-04, 02:27 PM Here is your best solution.

Tell them its like a Murder Mystery Party. They absolutely heard of that in the late 70's, early 80's.
Shayde
07-27-04, 02:50 PM When my mother found out I played D&D, first it wasn't a secret that I played, and second, what I do isn't any of her :censored: :censored: buisness anyway. She acted like a looney, she went on for at least twenty minutes on old stereotypical :censored: like how all D&D players commit suicide or worship satan or something like that.

The way I explain it to people who have no idea what roleplaying is (rational people anyway which excludes my mother) is that D&D is like free form acting with the rules replacing a written script as a control.
Shayde
07-27-04, 02:53 PM Yes, it's called hentai. :D [/B][/QUOTE]

Ummm... you do realise that hentai typically refers to Japanese Ahem... Adult entertainment, don't you?:uh-huh:
green_yawgmoth
07-27-04, 06:22 PM :rofl: @ the hentai remark. That was comedy gold.

I said "hey mom, can I get a ride over to Raja's house on Friday? We're starting a D&D campaign." My mom instantly said "Cool! So who's DMing?" She played 1e. :D

http://img30.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Bak
07-28-04, 03:52 AM Originally posted by green_yawgmoth
:rofl: @ the hentai remark. That was comedy gold.

I said "hey mom, can I get a ride over to Raja's house on Friday? We're starting a D&D campaign." My mom instantly said "Cool! So who's DMing?" She played 1e. :D

http://img30.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
A D&D family...
green_yawgmoth
07-28-04, 04:43 AM Originally posted by Bak
A D&D family... Aw yeah. I'm a second generation gamer. :cool:

http://img30.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Edymnion
07-28-04, 04:16 PM Originally posted by green_yawgmoth
Aw yeah. I'm a second generation gamer. :cool: Ditto, except mine played Traveller.
gleep
07-28-04, 04:38 PM How I've explained it in the past: It's like a bunch of staff writers for a TV show sitting around a table with the guide-books (also called bibles) for the show trying to figure out what the next episode's script will be like. The dice are there to add random elements to make sure everyone is kept guessing.

And, since hentai means 'strange or perverse' and does not necessarily have sexual connotations, it can be used to describe D&D with reasonable accurateness.

:D

--gleep
Torln
07-30-04, 04:52 PM Okay from China right....
Ever had BBC radio, check

Good quite often they do 'improvised' radio plays.
This is in essence a roleplaying game, so introduce it that way.

The DM has a plot Outline, he/she is the narrator the overseeer, the storyteller if you will.
The players on the other hand take the role of actors assuming the lead characters of the story.

The improvisation part comes from were the story itself is driven and moved along buy the actions of each 'actor' sometimes with narrator input.

I've always found this a good method to describe Roleplaying Games.
And this method is used in many books, in fact the CODA stuff has an intro pretty similar.

Hope this helps

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Bak 07-25-04, 07:33 AM	In my parents’ knowledge, there is no concept of RPG. Therefore, I am not able to explain D&D in a brief sentence. Every week I go out for D&D, they would ask, “Where do you go?” “Going for a game.” I reply. “What kind of game?” they ask. “A Table Role Play Game call D&D” I say. “Haven’t you already had a PS-2? Why do you still go out for GAME?” they cry. “I will have my meal outside and return around mid-night. Please do not lock the door…” I say and leave slowly and silently. In their mind, Games can only be two kinds: board game (they think that is just a variant of chess) and TV/PC game. And they don’t believe a board game would consist Level. (Strangely, they understand what is Level…) Maybe in Asian region, people have less idea on Role Play Game, especially adults. However, not even teenagers can understand either. How can I explain it in an efficient way to someone who doesn’t understand RPG? (I hope you already have some idea about Chinese family culture.)
Yuffie 07-25-04, 07:40 AM	Hmm. Tell them it's like improv acting around a table.
Evandar_TAybara 07-25-04, 09:20 AM	Even in countries where RPGs are fairly common, saying "I'm into role playing games" will generally be met with raised eyebrows and giggles. The best way to describe it is as improvised acting (as Yuffie suggested) or as interative story telling. This second one has worked for me. Briefly: Role playing games involve each player takes on the role of a character within an imaginative world. One player called the Dungoen Master creates a story for these characters to act out, but all the descisions about what those characters say or do are make by the players controlling them. The Dungeon Master controls the rest of the characters and monsters that inhabit this world. Where an action that a character decides to take could have a variable result depending on how skilled that character is at performing that task (for example, trying to hit a monster with a sword), dice are used to resolve how that situation turns out. Evan.
Evandar_TAybara 07-25-04, 09:21 AM	But if you really want them to understand what you are doing, invite them along to watch a gaming session :) Evan.
Bak 07-26-04, 02:02 AM	Thanks for all suggestions. I like the term “improvise”. I will try to translate it well in Chinese and tell my parents, although it is still to abstractive for them… I think inviting them along to watch a game session is not possible. Some players there usually use foul language to describe their wordings. If my parents know that, they would certainly restrict me more…
CzarGarrett 07-26-04, 07:57 AM	At first, I thought you were going to make it sound like you were gay and coming out. "Mom, Dad. I have something to tell you." "What is it dear?" "I play D&D." ::mother drops cup, dad's eyes go wide. Mom: "We'll still love you dear." Dad: "Get out of my house you role-player!" I tried explaining D&D to my parents once. My mother vaguely, kinda, sorta understood, but only because my Uncle used to play. My father has no imagination, so it was pointless to try and explain it to him.
Shoes 07-26-04, 09:28 AM	Originally posted by Bak How do you introduce D&D to your family? Simple. One day I just told her (my mother) I got invited to a game of D&D and she said "Don't forget to take the garbage out before you go!". My family knows what D&D is and how it is NOT evil as most religous or MADD (Mothers Against Dungeons & Dragons) parents think it is. Originally posted by Evandar_TAybara But if you really want them to understand what you are doing, invite them along to watch a gaming session. Bad idea, for two reasons. One, just because you are mature when playing the game doesn't mean your fellow players are gonna be and can ruin any chance for them to understand. And two, I don't think they want to sit there for 4-8 hours watching a bunch of kids (or adults) play a game. Originally posted by Bak Maybe in Asian region, people have less idea on Role Play Game, especially adults. However, not even teenagers can understand either. (I hope you already have some idea about Chinese family culture.) Yes, it's called hentai. :D
Yuffie 07-26-04, 10:08 AM	... Hentai is Japanese in origin, not Chinese.
Gilrion 07-26-04, 01:04 PM	Here's how I usually try to explain it. It's like writing a book. Only instead of writing it yourself, you just take the actions of one of the characters. Others around the table take the other characters, and one person (the GM) takes all the remaining ones (ie, the rest of the world, as necessary). I think that's simpler than 'acting'. It's more like you put yourself in the shoes of the character than act his actions out. Hope it helps.
FitzNighteyes 07-26-04, 02:09 PM	I was 10 when I started playing role-playing games, with some books a friend had given me. I started by DMing for my brother (it was a game called Dragon Roar). Since I was on vacation (& traveling with my brother and mom) at the time, my mom got to watch us play the game. That saved me any problems with understanding what the game was, although that was a 10 year olds way of playing. ;) Just let her think it's a board game. It's not like it matters so long as she lets you play. Explaining with things like "it's kinda like acting" just seems to worry some folks. I usually explain it as: It's like a movie or book or play, but you get to make up the story as you go, and there are rules to determine the outcome of actions you take.
Edymnion 07-26-04, 02:30 PM	Actually, I think a good way to describe it to them in a way they can understand, if they already know about computer games, is to show them a game like Final Fantasy, or any other video game RPG you may have. Show them your character running around talking to people, buying weapons/armor, fightning monsters, etc. Then, tell them that D&D is like that game. Each person plays one of the people in the party, instead of one person controlling all four. And you don't use a computer, because this kind was made before computers and video games existed. You roll dice to see if you were able to hit the monster instead of letting the computer decide, and instead of having a program tell you what is going on, you have another guy that does that job. Yes, if they know computer/video games, show them an RPG on that, and tell them that this kind of game is a computer version of the original game, which you are going out to play. And you do not have to take them along to an actually session to show them what it is like. You can always simply hand them the Player's Handbook, and let them flip through that. If your family likes games, you could even be the DM and set up a simple little D&D game with the whole family. Dad can be the fighter with the sword, mom can be the cleric who heals people, little brother could be a wizard casting magic spells, that sort of thing. Nothing fancy, maybe just a classic "You are at the top of a cave filled with monsters. At the bottom of the cave is a magic item. Your villiage needs that magic item, and they sent you to go get it for them." Doesn't have to be particularly good, but as long as they get the idea, you should be okay.
MrkGrismer 07-26-04, 02:39 PM	Originally posted by Edymnion And you don't use a computer, because this kind was made before computers and video games existed. (sigh) this makes me feel soooo old. Since I've been playing D&D since almost the beginning, apparently I've been playing since before ENIAC! Yikes! :P Anyways... I always break it down to: "It's like 'pretend', but with rules."
Elendur 07-26-04, 02:39 PM	I wonder if in Asia RPGs are more known as video games, hence the confusion. Really from a parental perspective, D&D is about the same as playing cards; a bunch of friends sitting around a table, talking, eating, and playing a game. I don't know why the ongoing nature or storytelling aspects really matter.
Bak 07-27-04, 01:11 AM	deleted...
Bak 07-27-04, 01:11 AM	Great! I suppose this post will sink within days. Thanks for replies. Originally posted by Elendur I wonder if in Asia RPGs are more known as video games, hence the confusion. Really from a parental perspective, D&D is about the same as playing cards; a bunch of friends sitting around a table, talking, eating, and playing a game. I don't know why the ongoing nature or storytelling aspects really matter. Difference of Language and Culture does matter. You speak English (or American) so you can understand what RPG stands for or at least what it is about. However, in Hong Kong, most people use abbreviation in English form while don’t fully understand it. Even you have translated Role Play Game well into Chinese, it is still meaningless because it is totally a foreign object for local to understand. Elendur, yes, most RPGs in Hong Kong refer to TV/PC games. That’s why when my parents hear “Level”, they think I am going to play a video game again. They also know I play MTG (Magic the Gathering), so they sometime may think I go out for a Friday Night match, even that is not Friday. Anyway, I just want them not to annoy me each week and I don’t want they worry about me on D&D. Thanks all again. (I have read some abbreviation on this board but I can’t guess the meaning. What are BBEG, IMO and IIRC?)
Yuffie 07-27-04, 02:02 AM	Big Bad Evil Guy, aka any one of the DM's signature or particularly potent evil NPCs / monsters. In My Opinion If I Recall Correctly And just for the heck of it... AFAIK = As Far As I Know
Sildatorak 07-27-04, 02:39 AM	Originally posted by MrkGrismer I always break it down to: "It's like 'pretend', but with rules." :eek: GET OUT OF MY HEAD! I always describe it as "'make-believe' with rules." I guess that is the Mr. Rogers influence on my language. I still haven't told my mother, though, since she forbid me to play it in high school and I did anyway.
Rondulin 07-27-04, 10:07 AM	Well Bak, I'd say just try to take some TIME to explain it to your parents. It IS hard to describe RPG or D&D in just one sentence to someone who has no understanding. Actally I had the same problem with my parents, but then I just took some time and explained to them (an imaginary world with elves and humans, how fights are ruled, what role the DM plays...)Now they have a general idea (although they didn't understand that the DM "is always right"). So just take some time.
DragonsArt 07-27-04, 02:23 PM	I tell them it's like acting in a movie, except the movie takes place in our imagination. The DM is the director... he directs all the other actors and the players act out their characters. Granted, they still don't quite understand it... but that puts it in familiar terms... everyone knows what an actor is, everyone knows what a director is.
BlackFiend 07-27-04, 02:27 PM	Here is your best solution. Tell them its like a Murder Mystery Party. They absolutely heard of that in the late 70's, early 80's.
Shayde 07-27-04, 02:50 PM	When my mother found out I played D&D, first it wasn't a secret that I played, and second, what I do isn't any of her :censored: :censored: buisness anyway. She acted like a looney, she went on for at least twenty minutes on old stereotypical :censored: like how all D&D players commit suicide or worship satan or something like that. The way I explain it to people who have no idea what roleplaying is (rational people anyway which excludes my mother) is that D&D is like free form acting with the rules replacing a written script as a control.
Shayde 07-27-04, 02:53 PM	Yes, it's called hentai. :D [/B][/QUOTE] Ummm... you do realise that hentai typically refers to Japanese Ahem... Adult entertainment, don't you?:uh-huh:
green_yawgmoth 07-27-04, 06:22 PM	:rofl: @ the hentai remark. That was comedy gold. I said "hey mom, can I get a ride over to Raja's house on Friday? We're starting a D&D campaign." My mom instantly said "Cool! So who's DMing?" She played 1e. :D http://img30.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Bak 07-28-04, 03:52 AM	Originally posted by green_yawgmoth :rofl: @ the hentai remark. That was comedy gold. I said "hey mom, can I get a ride over to Raja's house on Friday? We're starting a D&D campaign." My mom instantly said "Cool! So who's DMing?" She played 1e. :D http://img30.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif A D&D family...
green_yawgmoth 07-28-04, 04:43 AM	Originally posted by Bak A D&D family... Aw yeah. I'm a second generation gamer. :cool: http://img30.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Edymnion 07-28-04, 04:16 PM	Originally posted by green_yawgmoth Aw yeah. I'm a second generation gamer. :cool: Ditto, except mine played Traveller.
gleep 07-28-04, 04:38 PM	How I've explained it in the past: It's like a bunch of staff writers for a TV show sitting around a table with the guide-books (also called bibles) for the show trying to figure out what the next episode's script will be like. The dice are there to add random elements to make sure everyone is kept guessing. And, since hentai means 'strange or perverse' and does not necessarily have sexual connotations, it can be used to describe D&D with reasonable accurateness. :D --gleep
Torln 07-30-04, 04:52 PM	Okay from China right.... Ever had BBC radio, check Good quite often they do 'improvised' radio plays. This is in essence a roleplaying game, so introduce it that way. The DM has a plot Outline, he/she is the narrator the overseeer, the storyteller if you will. The players on the other hand take the role of actors assuming the lead characters of the story. The improvisation part comes from were the story itself is driven and moved along buy the actions of each 'actor' sometimes with narrator input. I've always found this a good method to describe Roleplaying Games. And this method is used in many books, in fact the CODA stuff has an intro pretty similar. Hope this helps