how to tell a DM i don't want to play [Archive] - Wizards Community

how to tell a DM i don't want to play [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Sergikins
02-19-07, 06:18 PM first the situation. our group games one to two times a week with alternating DMs running different campaigns. Each DM has 4 core players, and the other group (the one i don't run) has an extra player that used to be in my campaign, but i didn't invite him back after some time because he was extremely annoying. now i need to describe the group

The group, aside from this individual, roleplays decently, nothing spectacular, and all have strong, playable characters (we used 25 point buy, so our optimization comes from feats and classes). this individual loves to play bards. now, I' don't have a thing against bards, they are my fourth favorite class. but i do have a problem whenever he shows up to a campaign, he has a 9 to 11 Con. every stat is basically a 10 or 11 except dex (which is usually around a 13) and charisma (which is a 18) let me remind you we are using point buy. essentially, whenever he joins a campaign, he ends up getting knocked to negatives in one or two hits because he doesn't play it smart (he enters battle - he starts to inspire courage and nothing else.) his roleplaying, is uaually very good, but he gets into it a little too much and ends up "abusing" glibness telling ridiculous lies (our favorite - I'm the vizier- sure he rolled a 51, and had a hat of diguise, but this was to his second in command.) anyway, I'll end with this - we run 3.5 campaigns because thats the only books we have, but every campaign he shows up with a 3.0 character. he played 2nd edition and thought it was the greatest thing ever because when he was 8 years old a DM let him have a cookie dough cannon and a gundam.

anyway, we had a cmapaign last night, and during some down time, he annouced he was running a campaign soon.... he never mentioned who was in it, but he talked to me today and informed me he would like me to play, and two others in the group. I expressed intrest, as he has shown a slight reversal in his playstyle (towards the better, IMO) however, i inquired about books and such allowed - he said core only, ask me if you anything else, Tome of battle is a no no. fine then, I decided psychic warrior. I have'nt played one yet and was itching to. he said ok. whats your concept? I responded telling him a half elven warrior using the sheer force of his mind to transform his body into a weapon. oh, right, btw, there are no core races. confused, i asked about the campaign setting. seems he wants a sandbox style campaign - thats fine, i love it. but at the same time, he has our plot from level 1-20 planned. that made me cringe. and finally, this is what killed me. 3d6 for stats. and minimum stat requirements for classes

In short, I don't want to play in this guys campaign. but he really wants me to play. i want to tell him, look, don't nerf the players because you can't effectivly run combat. how should i tell him i don't want to play? or should i humor him and show up for one session?
Einvaldurinn_mikli
02-19-07, 06:53 PM Tell him that you won't have any fun with these rules. Simple as that. If he listens to you, great. If he doesn't, well, at least you were honest.
Jezmund
02-19-07, 06:56 PM "I don't have time" can work well. Especially if you don't.
Elsydeon
02-19-07, 07:33 PM Tell him the truth?

"I've thought about it, and the rules you're using just aren't my style. I'm sure you'll get the hang of it quick, and I'll be interested to hear how the game goes. But I think I'm going to hold off for a bit. I'm worried I wouldn't be able to play the character I had in mind with that creation setup."
Ace_of_Diamonds
02-19-07, 07:35 PM Truth works.

"I'd rather not play in this game anymore. Sorry."
DarkNick
02-19-07, 09:15 PM I don't really get why you would not want to play. 3d6 for stats, so what. Who is to say he won't scale everything appropriately?

If you simply find him annoying then say "no thanks I'm too busy", otherwise give it a go - it just might be fun. If you find you don't like it then tell him you don't want to play anymore "I'm too busy with 2 other games..."
trapspringer
02-20-07, 10:37 AM ...buh... wha?

Didn't you just...

I mean, you kinda-

Well:

"i don't want to play"
tuffn00gies
02-20-07, 10:49 AM If your only problem is with some of his house rules, ask if he can change them.

3d6 for stats and min for classes is livable. Planning everything that's going to happen from level 1 to 20 would be a deal breaker for me.
Wee_Willy_Winky
02-20-07, 11:14 AM Even though I find those house-rules terrifying (let alone the railroading), I would still give it a shot and sit in on one session.

After that…
Zoycitenega
02-20-07, 11:20 AM Offer to help him with combat. Run a few mock-battles with him with various characters before the camaign. If he is still shaky, explain your doubts to him, and see if he has suggestions.

I don't like the idea of 3d6, but I might play it if I liked the DM/other players enough. I enjoy high powered games, but I also enjoy role-playing. If there isn't going to be much combat, 3d6 seems alright.
Zandolit
02-20-07, 12:28 PM Games are supposed to be fun, not an obligation. If you think this one wouldn't be fun for you, just tell the DM it doesn't really sound like your preferred style of campaign, wish him well, and go find something else to play.

I understand not wanting to hurt your friend's feelings, but you're already doing several campaigns and since no one has unlimited gaming time, it makes sense to stick to games you think you're most likely to enjoy.

I suppose you could try to get him to change how things are run, but I wouldn't. I'd just thank him politely for inviting me and sit this one out. If it's not working, either he'll figure out it isn't going well, no one will join, or his players will complain or leave. I don't know that it's worth you trying to fix his campaign for him; I think it's better for this to just be a learning experience for him, which it wouldn't be unless he makes his own decisions (and potentially mistakes.)

So yeah, I'd just tell him politely that while you hope his campaign goes well, it doesn't sound like the sort of thing you'd prefer, and so you'll be sitting it out.
Serrin
02-20-07, 01:10 PM 3d6 for stats is pain. Especially if you're playing it old school and take the stats in order. Oops, you rolled an eleven for int, a six for cha, guess you can't play an arcane caster.
LordBOB777
02-20-07, 01:25 PM what exactly does minimum stat requirements for classes mean?

About the other problem, If you dont want to play dont play. There is no reason to make excuses. Just. dont. play.
The ShapeLess One
02-20-07, 01:37 PM Just tell him you don't want to play. It is simple as that. If he asks why, explain it.
danielinthewolvesden
02-20-07, 02:23 PM Why not sit down and discuss this like adults? Explain that parts of his annouced game are things that reduce the fun in gaming for you. Explain these and tell him why you have less fun with them- not that they are bad. Also tell him what you like, and be sure to start with a positive.
FntsyWlkr
02-20-07, 02:35 PM Hm.
My spidersense is telling me that you also want some tertiary dialogue about if you're being reasonable or not.

1) How to tell him. I like the ideas that the guidelines don't appeal to you.

2) I say try it! I'm always amazed by how un-open-minded (you like that?) gamers are. This is an activity bent on creativity and imagination ... but it seems as if people only want to experience things their own, safe way.

3) Are you being unreasonable? No. Don't play in it if you don't want to. One thing i've learned about being in the entertainment industry is that "everybody wants your time." It's your schedule, do what you want.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Sergikins 02-19-07, 06:18 PM	first the situation. our group games one to two times a week with alternating DMs running different campaigns. Each DM has 4 core players, and the other group (the one i don't run) has an extra player that used to be in my campaign, but i didn't invite him back after some time because he was extremely annoying. now i need to describe the group The group, aside from this individual, roleplays decently, nothing spectacular, and all have strong, playable characters (we used 25 point buy, so our optimization comes from feats and classes). this individual loves to play bards. now, I' don't have a thing against bards, they are my fourth favorite class. but i do have a problem whenever he shows up to a campaign, he has a 9 to 11 Con. every stat is basically a 10 or 11 except dex (which is usually around a 13) and charisma (which is a 18) let me remind you we are using point buy. essentially, whenever he joins a campaign, he ends up getting knocked to negatives in one or two hits because he doesn't play it smart (he enters battle - he starts to inspire courage and nothing else.) his roleplaying, is uaually very good, but he gets into it a little too much and ends up "abusing" glibness telling ridiculous lies (our favorite - I'm the vizier- sure he rolled a 51, and had a hat of diguise, but this was to his second in command.) anyway, I'll end with this - we run 3.5 campaigns because thats the only books we have, but every campaign he shows up with a 3.0 character. he played 2nd edition and thought it was the greatest thing ever because when he was 8 years old a DM let him have a cookie dough cannon and a gundam. anyway, we had a cmapaign last night, and during some down time, he annouced he was running a campaign soon.... he never mentioned who was in it, but he talked to me today and informed me he would like me to play, and two others in the group. I expressed intrest, as he has shown a slight reversal in his playstyle (towards the better, IMO) however, i inquired about books and such allowed - he said core only, ask me if you anything else, Tome of battle is a no no. fine then, I decided psychic warrior. I have'nt played one yet and was itching to. he said ok. whats your concept? I responded telling him a half elven warrior using the sheer force of his mind to transform his body into a weapon. oh, right, btw, there are no core races. confused, i asked about the campaign setting. seems he wants a sandbox style campaign - thats fine, i love it. but at the same time, he has our plot from level 1-20 planned. that made me cringe. and finally, this is what killed me. 3d6 for stats. and minimum stat requirements for classes In short, I don't want to play in this guys campaign. but he really wants me to play. i want to tell him, look, don't nerf the players because you can't effectivly run combat. how should i tell him i don't want to play? or should i humor him and show up for one session?
Einvaldurinn_mikli 02-19-07, 06:53 PM	Tell him that you won't have any fun with these rules. Simple as that. If he listens to you, great. If he doesn't, well, at least you were honest.
Jezmund 02-19-07, 06:56 PM	"I don't have time" can work well. Especially if you don't.
Elsydeon 02-19-07, 07:33 PM	Tell him the truth? "I've thought about it, and the rules you're using just aren't my style. I'm sure you'll get the hang of it quick, and I'll be interested to hear how the game goes. But I think I'm going to hold off for a bit. I'm worried I wouldn't be able to play the character I had in mind with that creation setup."
Ace_of_Diamonds 02-19-07, 07:35 PM	Truth works. "I'd rather not play in this game anymore. Sorry."
DarkNick 02-19-07, 09:15 PM	I don't really get why you would not want to play. 3d6 for stats, so what. Who is to say he won't scale everything appropriately? If you simply find him annoying then say "no thanks I'm too busy", otherwise give it a go - it just might be fun. If you find you don't like it then tell him you don't want to play anymore "I'm too busy with 2 other games..."
trapspringer 02-20-07, 10:37 AM	...buh... wha? Didn't you just... I mean, you kinda- Well: "i don't want to play"
tuffn00gies 02-20-07, 10:49 AM	If your only problem is with some of his house rules, ask if he can change them. 3d6 for stats and min for classes is livable. Planning everything that's going to happen from level 1 to 20 would be a deal breaker for me.
Wee_Willy_Winky 02-20-07, 11:14 AM	Even though I find those house-rules terrifying (let alone the railroading), I would still give it a shot and sit in on one session. After that…
Zoycitenega 02-20-07, 11:20 AM	Offer to help him with combat. Run a few mock-battles with him with various characters before the camaign. If he is still shaky, explain your doubts to him, and see if he has suggestions. I don't like the idea of 3d6, but I might play it if I liked the DM/other players enough. I enjoy high powered games, but I also enjoy role-playing. If there isn't going to be much combat, 3d6 seems alright.
Zandolit 02-20-07, 12:28 PM	Games are supposed to be fun, not an obligation. If you think this one wouldn't be fun for you, just tell the DM it doesn't really sound like your preferred style of campaign, wish him well, and go find something else to play. I understand not wanting to hurt your friend's feelings, but you're already doing several campaigns and since no one has unlimited gaming time, it makes sense to stick to games you think you're most likely to enjoy. I suppose you could try to get him to change how things are run, but I wouldn't. I'd just thank him politely for inviting me and sit this one out. If it's not working, either he'll figure out it isn't going well, no one will join, or his players will complain or leave. I don't know that it's worth you trying to fix his campaign for him; I think it's better for this to just be a learning experience for him, which it wouldn't be unless he makes his own decisions (and potentially mistakes.) So yeah, I'd just tell him politely that while you hope his campaign goes well, it doesn't sound like the sort of thing you'd prefer, and so you'll be sitting it out.
Serrin 02-20-07, 01:10 PM	3d6 for stats is pain. Especially if you're playing it old school and take the stats in order. Oops, you rolled an eleven for int, a six for cha, guess you can't play an arcane caster.
LordBOB777 02-20-07, 01:25 PM	what exactly does minimum stat requirements for classes mean? About the other problem, If you dont want to play dont play. There is no reason to make excuses. Just. dont. play.
The ShapeLess One 02-20-07, 01:37 PM	Just tell him you don't want to play. It is simple as that. If he asks why, explain it.
danielinthewolvesden 02-20-07, 02:23 PM	Why not sit down and discuss this like adults? Explain that parts of his annouced game are things that reduce the fun in gaming for you. Explain these and tell him why you have less fun with them- not that they are bad. Also tell him what you like, and be sure to start with a positive.
FntsyWlkr 02-20-07, 02:35 PM	Hm. My spidersense is telling me that you also want some tertiary dialogue about if you're being reasonable or not. 1) How to tell him. I like the ideas that the guidelines don't appeal to you. 2) I say try it! I'm always amazed by how un-open-minded (you like that?) gamers are. This is an activity bent on creativity and imagination ... but it seems as if people only want to experience things their own, safe way. 3) Are you being unreasonable? No. Don't play in it if you don't want to. One thing i've learned about being in the entertainment industry is that "everybody wants your time." It's your schedule, do what you want.