It's more a chore than anything else [Archive] - Wizards Community

It's more a chore than anything else [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Jaxsbudgie
02-23-07, 06:54 PM OK so i started playing dnd for the first time last year some time
It was all great up until a couple of months ago
My brother lost interest and has permanently dropped out
The two of the three brothers who play are quickly loosing interest
And they always end up arguing with each other
Which then results in the third brother (the DM) loosing his patience (and i don't blame him) and packing up the game altogether
Then it's just me and a the last player just sitting there at a deserted dnd table
But this isn't just the problem
Because the three brothers and their mate are 26+ they almost always get hammered the previous night before we play
And me being 17, i'm looking forward to a whole saturday of dnd after a hard week of school
Then i get that dreaded phone call, cancelled

AND when we do finally get round to playing
No one ever listens to the DM or me for that matter, one of the brothers is always cooking whilst the other is rolling up a spliff which then results in them getting battered and craving even more food
And because they usually buy about 20 cans of beer for the session which they down within a couple of hours
They end up falling asleep at the table
And i've said to not get beer but no one listens to me ever, i reckon it's because of my age

Everytime i think about it it makes me angry because i really enjoy it and i'm always researching up extra information on the campaign and my character as well as everyone elses because they've no idea what their characters are about

So this is why dnd has turned into more of a chore than an enjoyable game i remember playing
Sorry to have rambled on, i've no one to talk to
Does anyone have any ideas in getting the group motivated?
Please?
TheChilliGod
02-23-07, 07:16 PM I cannot imagine what it must be like to play with a group of drunk / hung over / drugged people who are a decade older than you and apparently like to rub it in your face.
These are the type of people that, regardless of it happening during D&D or not, you should never ever associate yourself with. There is no hope for these people ever getting motivated at all (as you said, they don't listen to you at all), and you're probably just wasting your time if you continue.

Dump the group.
Dump the group, and find another one. You will have a much better D&D experience if you find another group.
scarletice
02-23-07, 07:27 PM I Have to agree with TheChillGod. Not only does your group sound like a bad influence, the type of people you should avoid, you're just not having fun. And if your not having fun with them then find some other people to have fun with. IF you have a local game shop it should be easy enough to find a new group to DnD with, a lot of shops let people play in the store.
Jaxsbudgie
02-23-07, 07:27 PM You're right i guess
But they're all mates
And i've known them since i was practically born
It's not so much my DM
He doesn't smoke and he only gets reasonably tipsy
It would ruin him for me to leave
Which would undeniably result in the dnd experience endng for everyone else
Apparently he's been writing this campaign for 10 years

But i don't know where to find another group to join
And this is about the only bit of fun i have ever
Even if nothing does happen
What with my parents recently divorced and my eldest brother kicked out and now living in Portugal
I hardly get to do anything thats fun anymore
gah
I just got the formidable text
It's not happening tommorow
YAAAY
:|
Pajaul
02-23-07, 07:52 PM Sit down with them, when they are all sober, and explain that their habits are ruining your, the DM’s, and the other player’s fun. And that they either stop (or at the least cut down on, its not good for you anyway) with the booze and drugs at the DnD table, or they loose you as a player.

Also, have you ever considered DMing?
You could try convincing the other player you have to join you. Heck you could even invite the other Dm. DnD with three people is better then none. Then if no one wants to listen to you, YOU pack up and take the game.

Or, if worse comes to worse, convince the DM of your current game to continue without the rowdy players.
pres_man
02-23-07, 07:55 PM Here is typically what happens in these cases:

Figure out if the DM is salvagable. If he is then inform him you will not be gaming with the players that are no salvagable. You would like it if he instead decides to run a game with the players that actually give a damn. If he is unwilling or unable (for whatever reason) to do this, then leave the group.

You say you have been researching things, well now might be the time to put that stuff to good use. Step up and start running your own group. If you don't have all of the DMing materials (DMG and MM) that is fine, start off using the SRD:
http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=d20/article/srd35

As for finding other players, first start with the group you are in. If you decided to run a game, who in there would you WANT in your group. Hopefully not the guys getting drunk/doped all of the time. Choose the ones that are therer to have a good time. Now maybe you don't want to game with any of those (or don't want to ask some but not others), fine.

Where do you go then? Well you say you are in school, don't you have any school mates that might want to get together and do stuff? If not, maybe it is time to make some. Look for the nerdier kids (yeah it is a stereotype but there is a reason why it is) ask them, maybe they already game and you could join. You really should probably be gaming with people closer to your age, especially if they are doing stuff that is not appropriate for someone your age to be doing (like cooking, jk ;) ).

If you still are stretching for players you might try places like this:
http://boards1.wizards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=347
or your local gaming stories, many allow you to post "Player Wanted" ads. Also many allow you to play there if you work it out with them ahead of time, which is good if you don't have a place to play of your own.

In the end you can play as long as you have at least one other player. It is nicer to have more, but sometimes you just got to make do.

Oh yeah, and my patented saying:
Life is too short to game with morons.
Bruunwald
02-23-07, 07:59 PM I was wondering what happened to Oasis. I see that they decided to fake being ten years younger and play some D&D. Those two brothers are always fighting.

You live in London, which is a good-sized city. There have just GOT TO BE more gamers there, somewhere, waiting for someone like you to join the game. Search them out.
Jaxsbudgie
02-23-07, 08:00 PM Ok,
I think they're going to the pub tommorow
I'll join them and tell them that if they don't buck up and start playing like actual players
Then i'm leaving
And i'll do it
I'll repost the outcome
taradusis
02-23-07, 10:47 PM Consider a 1 on 1 game with the DM.He might have to adjust the scale of adventures?Consider finding a new group of freinds and don't hang out to much with the old ones?
docballen
02-24-07, 03:37 AM I think you need to find better friends. Sorry to say it that way, but it's true.

I used to game with a couple of guys who used their game session as an excuse to get drunk. Notice I said used to.
And I am old enough to drink.

You are doing the right thing by not drinking alcohol yourself. I wish there were more people like you!!!

Good luck in finding another group.
Jaxsbudgie
02-24-07, 08:37 AM OK so my DM and the other guy who plays are still up in London partying
Even though it's half 1 in the afternoon

I sent my DM a text saying "Consider my character dead, i'm out"
I'm just tired of the rejection and the lies they pump at me
"Yeah we'll play tommorow, be round at about 2 ish and bring Song and Silence yeah!"
Lies.

Looks like my d&d days are over
Frylord
02-24-07, 09:52 AM Your D&D days are not over, I've know why, and I'll tell you.

1. As other people have said, http://boards1.wizards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=347

Here is where you can figure out if there is any players near you. (except for the drunk guys of course.)

2. If you can't find players with that, look around on the boards, try to find a D&D board around here that has Play-By-Post games.

If you don't know what Play-By-Post (Or PBP) games are, ask some of the more veteran users on the boards, they'll be happy to help.
draco1119
02-24-07, 09:52 AM OK so my DM and the other guy who plays are still up in London partying
Even though it's half 1 in the afternoon

I sent my DM a text saying "Consider my character dead, i'm out"
I'm just tired of the rejection and the lies they pump at me
"Yeah we'll play tommorow, be round at about 2 ish and bring Song and Silence yeah!"
Lies.

Looks like my d&d days are over
Dude, if I can find a group to play with in a city of 250,000 people (at a religious school to boot!), then you can find one in a city of 10 million. If you want to quit, fine. But don't quit "because you can't find anyone to play with."
Ryusage
02-24-07, 10:10 AM Man, I live in a town of 15,000 people and there are tons of gamers. You're living in this huge city of 10 million and complaining you can't find a group?
Jaxsbudgie
02-24-07, 10:34 AM I never said i couldn't find a group
And i live in a suberb off of London
Packed full of scum and chavs
No one at my school has even heard of it let alone played it
Plus i'm rather anxious
So going out into a group of people ive never met or seen before to play hours of d&d together if terrifying
My family has a history of anxiety, schizophrenia, depression and other illnesses

And i doubt my mum would let me go out to a meet up with a group of people i've never met
What being mugged just down the road a week ago
score!
JamesDruidDM
02-24-07, 10:37 AM Dump the group.
Dump the group, and find another one. You will have a much better D&D experience if you find another group.

what he said
_SIN_
02-24-07, 12:05 PM My group is recruiting in LONDON!

Yeah, I'm recruiting new players after the last episode.....

.....the last drunken, drug infused episode.......

.....I don't remember much....... just that there was so much blood!.........

So, instead of going to an AA meeting or calling FRANK, PM me instead!! :D
FntsyWlkr
02-26-07, 02:34 PM I feel ya.

Really.
Relationships are risk.

The minute you meet somebody new you risk making an enemy, risk getting in a fight, risk getting mugged, risk being judged ... It's stressful. But in the same token you also risk making a best friend, meeting a new boss, falling in love ...

Life is about risk. And on one hand it's pretty hard to meet new people (let alone a GROUP of people) but on the other hand life is about doing things that are pretty hard.

Try websites (craigslist, myspace, enworld, here ...) to put out your feelers. And if you think actually joining an existing group would be tough, try offering to assistant DM. What group wouldn't want an assistant DM. If it works out, ask the DM if you can run a bad guy for a couple of encounters ... then ... splinter you way into the group!

Life is about risk. It's a risk to wake up in the morning. But don't fear conflict. The biggest threat is being afraid. Because when you're in conflict/risk ... it's already almost over!

Good luck, buddy.
FrostWolf
02-26-07, 09:07 PM There are always games meing played by Email and IM. If you must, you can try one of those. I say give _SIN_'s group a chance. They seem to be in the same area.
geekling
02-27-07, 07:53 AM If you are starting to think of finding another group to play with in your local area of London http://www.ukroleplayers.com/ is another place where you've got a good chance of finding a group.

That saying, with being a minor and the social anxieties you've expressed. Perhaps it'd be an idea to look into VGT applications like openrpg etc. and move your roleplaying online for the duration.
kelvinaw273
02-27-07, 10:41 AM Try doing a google search on "role-playing" and "{your area}" and see what comes up. I've found a really well organised club just up the road from myself, so it can work.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Jaxsbudgie 02-23-07, 06:54 PM	OK so i started playing dnd for the first time last year some time It was all great up until a couple of months ago My brother lost interest and has permanently dropped out The two of the three brothers who play are quickly loosing interest And they always end up arguing with each other Which then results in the third brother (the DM) loosing his patience (and i don't blame him) and packing up the game altogether Then it's just me and a the last player just sitting there at a deserted dnd table But this isn't just the problem Because the three brothers and their mate are 26+ they almost always get hammered the previous night before we play And me being 17, i'm looking forward to a whole saturday of dnd after a hard week of school Then i get that dreaded phone call, cancelled AND when we do finally get round to playing No one ever listens to the DM or me for that matter, one of the brothers is always cooking whilst the other is rolling up a spliff which then results in them getting battered and craving even more food And because they usually buy about 20 cans of beer for the session which they down within a couple of hours They end up falling asleep at the table And i've said to not get beer but no one listens to me ever, i reckon it's because of my age Everytime i think about it it makes me angry because i really enjoy it and i'm always researching up extra information on the campaign and my character as well as everyone elses because they've no idea what their characters are about So this is why dnd has turned into more of a chore than an enjoyable game i remember playing Sorry to have rambled on, i've no one to talk to Does anyone have any ideas in getting the group motivated? Please?
TheChilliGod 02-23-07, 07:16 PM	I cannot imagine what it must be like to play with a group of drunk / hung over / drugged people who are a decade older than you and apparently like to rub it in your face. These are the type of people that, regardless of it happening during D&D or not, you should never ever associate yourself with. There is no hope for these people ever getting motivated at all (as you said, they don't listen to you at all), and you're probably just wasting your time if you continue. Dump the group. Dump the group, and find another one. You will have a much better D&D experience if you find another group.
scarletice 02-23-07, 07:27 PM	I Have to agree with TheChillGod. Not only does your group sound like a bad influence, the type of people you should avoid, you're just not having fun. And if your not having fun with them then find some other people to have fun with. IF you have a local game shop it should be easy enough to find a new group to DnD with, a lot of shops let people play in the store.
Jaxsbudgie 02-23-07, 07:27 PM	You're right i guess But they're all mates And i've known them since i was practically born It's not so much my DM He doesn't smoke and he only gets reasonably tipsy It would ruin him for me to leave Which would undeniably result in the dnd experience endng for everyone else Apparently he's been writing this campaign for 10 years But i don't know where to find another group to join And this is about the only bit of fun i have ever Even if nothing does happen What with my parents recently divorced and my eldest brother kicked out and now living in Portugal I hardly get to do anything thats fun anymore gah I just got the formidable text It's not happening tommorow YAAAY :\|
Pajaul 02-23-07, 07:52 PM	Sit down with them, when they are all sober, and explain that their habits are ruining your, the DM’s, and the other player’s fun. And that they either stop (or at the least cut down on, its not good for you anyway) with the booze and drugs at the DnD table, or they loose you as a player. Also, have you ever considered DMing? You could try convincing the other player you have to join you. Heck you could even invite the other Dm. DnD with three people is better then none. Then if no one wants to listen to you, YOU pack up and take the game. Or, if worse comes to worse, convince the DM of your current game to continue without the rowdy players.
pres_man 02-23-07, 07:55 PM	Here is typically what happens in these cases: Figure out if the DM is salvagable. If he is then inform him you will not be gaming with the players that are no salvagable. You would like it if he instead decides to run a game with the players that actually give a damn. If he is unwilling or unable (for whatever reason) to do this, then leave the group. You say you have been researching things, well now might be the time to put that stuff to good use. Step up and start running your own group. If you don't have all of the DMing materials (DMG and MM) that is fine, start off using the SRD: http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=d20/article/srd35 As for finding other players, first start with the group you are in. If you decided to run a game, who in there would you WANT in your group. Hopefully not the guys getting drunk/doped all of the time. Choose the ones that are therer to have a good time. Now maybe you don't want to game with any of those (or don't want to ask some but not others), fine. Where do you go then? Well you say you are in school, don't you have any school mates that might want to get together and do stuff? If not, maybe it is time to make some. Look for the nerdier kids (yeah it is a stereotype but there is a reason why it is) ask them, maybe they already game and you could join. You really should probably be gaming with people closer to your age, especially if they are doing stuff that is not appropriate for someone your age to be doing (like cooking, jk ;) ). If you still are stretching for players you might try places like this: http://boards1.wizards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=347 or your local gaming stories, many allow you to post "Player Wanted" ads. Also many allow you to play there if you work it out with them ahead of time, which is good if you don't have a place to play of your own. In the end you can play as long as you have at least one other player. It is nicer to have more, but sometimes you just got to make do. Oh yeah, and my patented saying: Life is too short to game with morons.
Bruunwald 02-23-07, 07:59 PM	I was wondering what happened to Oasis. I see that they decided to fake being ten years younger and play some D&D. Those two brothers are always fighting. You live in London, which is a good-sized city. There have just GOT TO BE more gamers there, somewhere, waiting for someone like you to join the game. Search them out.
Jaxsbudgie 02-23-07, 08:00 PM	Ok, I think they're going to the pub tommorow I'll join them and tell them that if they don't buck up and start playing like actual players Then i'm leaving And i'll do it I'll repost the outcome
taradusis 02-23-07, 10:47 PM	Consider a 1 on 1 game with the DM.He might have to adjust the scale of adventures?Consider finding a new group of freinds and don't hang out to much with the old ones?
docballen 02-24-07, 03:37 AM	I think you need to find better friends. Sorry to say it that way, but it's true. I used to game with a couple of guys who used their game session as an excuse to get drunk. Notice I said used to. And I am old enough to drink. You are doing the right thing by not drinking alcohol yourself. I wish there were more people like you!!! Good luck in finding another group.
Jaxsbudgie 02-24-07, 08:37 AM	OK so my DM and the other guy who plays are still up in London partying Even though it's half 1 in the afternoon I sent my DM a text saying "Consider my character dead, i'm out" I'm just tired of the rejection and the lies they pump at me "Yeah we'll play tommorow, be round at about 2 ish and bring Song and Silence yeah!" Lies. Looks like my d&d days are over
Frylord 02-24-07, 09:52 AM	Your D&D days are not over, I've know why, and I'll tell you. 1. As other people have said, http://boards1.wizards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=347 Here is where you can figure out if there is any players near you. (except for the drunk guys of course.) 2. If you can't find players with that, look around on the boards, try to find a D&D board around here that has Play-By-Post games. If you don't know what Play-By-Post (Or PBP) games are, ask some of the more veteran users on the boards, they'll be happy to help.
draco1119 02-24-07, 09:52 AM	OK so my DM and the other guy who plays are still up in London partying Even though it's half 1 in the afternoon I sent my DM a text saying "Consider my character dead, i'm out" I'm just tired of the rejection and the lies they pump at me "Yeah we'll play tommorow, be round at about 2 ish and bring Song and Silence yeah!" Lies. Looks like my d&d days are over Dude, if I can find a group to play with in a city of 250,000 people (at a religious school to boot!), then you can find one in a city of 10 million. If you want to quit, fine. But don't quit "because you can't find anyone to play with."
Ryusage 02-24-07, 10:10 AM	Man, I live in a town of 15,000 people and there are tons of gamers. You're living in this huge city of 10 million and complaining you can't find a group?
Jaxsbudgie 02-24-07, 10:34 AM	I never said i couldn't find a group And i live in a suberb off of London Packed full of scum and chavs No one at my school has even heard of it let alone played it Plus i'm rather anxious So going out into a group of people ive never met or seen before to play hours of d&d together if terrifying My family has a history of anxiety, schizophrenia, depression and other illnesses And i doubt my mum would let me go out to a meet up with a group of people i've never met What being mugged just down the road a week ago score!
JamesDruidDM 02-24-07, 10:37 AM	Dump the group. Dump the group, and find another one. You will have a much better D&D experience if you find another group. what he said
_SIN_ 02-24-07, 12:05 PM	My group is recruiting in LONDON! Yeah, I'm recruiting new players after the last episode..... .....the last drunken, drug infused episode....... .....I don't remember much....... just that there was so much blood!......... So, instead of going to an AA meeting or calling FRANK, PM me instead!! :D
FntsyWlkr 02-26-07, 02:34 PM	I feel ya. Really. Relationships are risk. The minute you meet somebody new you risk making an enemy, risk getting in a fight, risk getting mugged, risk being judged ... It's stressful. But in the same token you also risk making a best friend, meeting a new boss, falling in love ... Life is about risk. And on one hand it's pretty hard to meet new people (let alone a GROUP of people) but on the other hand life is about doing things that are pretty hard. Try websites (craigslist, myspace, enworld, here ...) to put out your feelers. And if you think actually joining an existing group would be tough, try offering to assistant DM. What group wouldn't want an assistant DM. If it works out, ask the DM if you can run a bad guy for a couple of encounters ... then ... splinter you way into the group! Life is about risk. It's a risk to wake up in the morning. But don't fear conflict. The biggest threat is being afraid. Because when you're in conflict/risk ... it's already almost over! Good luck, buddy.
FrostWolf 02-26-07, 09:07 PM	There are always games meing played by Email and IM. If you must, you can try one of those. I say give _SIN_'s group a chance. They seem to be in the same area.
geekling 02-27-07, 07:53 AM	If you are starting to think of finding another group to play with in your local area of London http://www.ukroleplayers.com/ is another place where you've got a good chance of finding a group. That saying, with being a minor and the social anxieties you've expressed. Perhaps it'd be an idea to look into VGT applications like openrpg etc. and move your roleplaying online for the duration.
kelvinaw273 02-27-07, 10:41 AM	Try doing a google search on "role-playing" and "{your area}" and see what comes up. I've found a really well organised club just up the road from myself, so it can work.