Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 Prota92 Jul 30, 2015 3:50:48	Due to circumstances, the D&D group in which I was a DM has merged with another D&D group in which I was a player. Because the DM of that other group and I both still wanted to keep DM'ing, we have made an agreement to co-DM, or rather to alternatively DM sessions. So, although there is an overall campaign plot that my co-DM and I agreed upon, we are free to make and DM our own sessions and arcs, as long as they fit within that overarching campaign plot. It's a pretty simple deal, keeps us from passing into the territory of the other DM – or so I thought. Because, although things went okay the last couple of sessions when he DM'd, now that it is my turn to DM, I feel that he is overstepping boundaries. That is to say, he wants to see all my session plans before our next game, which is tomorrow by the way, including detailed dungeon layouts, NPC descriptions, etc., even though he himself is a player next session. And you don't share detailed session plans with players, I think; or at least I make a habit out of keeping secrets for the players, so that they won't be spoiled, so that I won't invite excessive meta-gaming, etc. My co-DM also took the liberty to suddenly, and without telling me, invite an extra player for the next session. And although I am fine with this, I think I should have made that call myself, as the DM for that session. So, my questions are: am I being unreasonable in not sharing (all) my session plans with him before the session? Should I call him out on inviting that extra player? Or am I the one being too private and unflexible? What would you do in my situation?
#2 Razintarr Jul 30, 2015 4:54:56	It's obvious you'll have to sit down with your co-DM and talk about these issues.    I don't see his motivation for wanting to see your notes up front, especially since he's a player for that stretch. That would spoil the game for him. I can see a reason to share notes afterwards, so he doesn't accidently trample plotpoints in the adventure that you were planning on using again later, and that may not have been that obvious. Also, learning from eachothers way of creating adventures can be useful.    At my table inviting a new player is something that should be talked about with both DM and the other players beforehand. But it can differ from table to table. If a player can bring in someone new quite easily, than the co-DM doing the same isn't that weird. It could be that his table has different ettiquette to handle new players than yours. This sounds less a problem of co-DMing and more of differences between tables. Such differences needs talking and smoothing over too though.
#3 akr71 Jul 30, 2015 5:59:40	^ I agree.  You need to have a talk with your co-DM.  In my opion, if you do not want to share details of your sessions, don't feel obligied to do so.  I also agree that inviting a new player should be discussed with all players and DM(s).   Perhaps switching DM duties less frequently would help.  Rather than switching every session, set campaign milestones at which point hand over the DM reigns.  If you are using store bought adventures, this is easy - "I'll run HotDQ, you run RoT."
#4 RogerWilco Jul 30, 2015 7:31:33	akr71 wrote:
#5 Ralif_Redhammer Jul 30, 2015 7:55:28	Yeah, Co-DM or not, wanting to see the adventure notes in advance is weird. I would simply ask why, and explain that knowing what is going to happen will take away the fun of the session for both him and the other players. Would he feel comfortable with you knowing what is to come with one of his adventures?   It can be hard for some DMs to step away from behind the screen (as much as I love getting to play now and then, I’ll admit that I have trouble doing so for extended periods of time). Maybe the other DM is having trouble giving up the control of being a DM.   When I’ve done co-DMing, the rules I tried to follow is to neither undo what happened last adventure, nor to ignore it completely. I always felt it was my duty to build respectfully on what the other DM did.   As for inviting an extra player, I wouldn’t worry too much unless the gaming group is already too big, or you are hosting the session. If so, it's definitely bad form not to clear that sort of thing in advance.
#6 iserith Jul 30, 2015 7:57:55	The only way someone can be overstepping boundaries willfully is if they were aware of and agreed to specific boundaries at the outset. It sounds like you had some kind of agreement spelled out. If you feel that the agreement has been broken, then address that with your friend directly and politely.
#7 shintashi Jul 30, 2015 8:56:27	well it depends on what playing style you imagine. Co DMs traditionally do know all the maps and monsters while playing, but pretend not to. Some Co DMs only run monsters or special NPCs, and have privvy information but not the whole plot. If he truly is the DM half the time, it really won't impact the game if they see the map, because the other players are going to think that he sees the map anyway. You could express your desire to keep this particular dungeon map a surprise so he can have fun going through it, but that only works if they trust your skills as a DM.   Not everyone is going to be good at calculating challenges, and player killing happens in just about every city with inexperienced DMs. They may have a fear that you will kill their newbie, or kill off their character before their critical plot gets to fruition. As far as i know, Raistlin was a DM run character, so it tells you a little about how much impact a Co DM character can have. I suggest avoid power struggles and keep a sense of humor. Don't let it devolve to politics.
#8 Imaculata Jul 30, 2015 11:36:16	I think inviting a new player should probably be something that the whole group agrees on, and not just the DM.
#9 Krusk Jul 30, 2015 16:22:50	That sounds like a huge pain. The whole set up.    I'm of two opinions on the matter. On one hand, I'd let any player see my notes ahead of time. Including dungeon floorplans, NPC stats, etc. On the other, asking for special privilidges that the other players don't have seems out of line.   As for inviting a player, of course you should have been consulted. but so should everyone else in the group. Thats like bringing a friend to a party. Sure you should obviously check with the host, but checking with some other people is a good idea too.
#10 Orethalion Jul 31, 2015 6:16:16	Prota92 wrote:
#11 BRJN Jul 31, 2015 15:57:14	You and the co-DM should have a talk
#12 sleypy Aug 03, 2015 14:53:42	I don't think your co-GM overstep any boundaries other than inviting a new player. It probably would have been idea to hash out some of the details before hand, but that requires experience beforehand. As other have said, you need to talk with your co-GM and work out how you want to coordinate things. There will be concessions to be made, but don't feel obligated to accept things you have issues with.