My players are in the middle of clearing out a magical laboratory where the three main areas of study are Negative Energy (Mostly Undead), Dreams, The Far Realm. We're playing in Eberron btw.
The fourth area in the laboratory has been set aside for personal experiments by the mage wrights that used to work in the lab.
Anyone have any ideas for useless or brocken magic items that I can seed into this lab?
I plan to give them an immovable rod and a potion of slipperiness. Random items that I have thought of include a stone that warms slightly in cold weather and potion that makes the drinker smell like roses.
Hmm... Well, I'll talk to a few of my friends and we'll come up with a list of absolutely ridiculous magic items. One that comes to mind would be a Looking Glass that lets the user smell the object that he puts into focus (Smellascope, anyone?).
Here are a few ideas.
Several cubes of magical ice that never melt. Useful for chilling drinks.
Continual flame cast on a stone that sockets easily into lanterns.
A box with a few buttons on the outside. You can record or replay a few short verbal messages.
Armor Polish of Brilliance - when used on metal armor, the polish causes it to shine brilliantly hindering stealth but providing a small bonus to charisma checks.
A porous block that absorbs heat during the day and releases it at night. In desert conditions this keeps a 20' radius area comfortably cool during the day and warm at night.
Any kind of modern day appliance of convenience: A chest that you place dirty dishes into - 30 minutes later they are clean, a small box that can heat or even cook food, etc.
- Eck
Howabout a scroll of fireball, but with a range of touch? Or some +1 arrows that are only magical when the target is at long range.
-a small, clockwork frog that can spit out 1 GP per week
-a brown cloth bag that turns anything put into it into a a small block of wood
-a magical lever in the middle of the floor that, when pushed, displays a magical message on the wall for 10 seconds that says "please don't push this lever again"
-a tumbler that causes alcohol to have no effect on the drinker while making it still taste exactly the same
-a liquid that can be poured onto rocks that causes them to bounce like a bouncy ball
alienux wrote:
The OP said useless magic items, not cursed items. 
I'd guess a gift of one of these was what started the elf-dwarf antimosity.
alienux wrote:
A ring that changes colour according to the characters mood
Failed experiment at making featherfall boots makes them 10x heavier
A ring that flips gravity for the player
A bracelet which magically displays the time of day or night
A sword that feels strong but when swung at a target it turns to rubber
A helmet that when worn changed the colour of the characters hair at random
1. A pair of Coins of Hand Warming. They only function when you have cold hands, such as when out in the snow. Then they warm your hands up to normal.
2. A Comb of Styling. Allows you to comb your hair into any style you like with just a few strokes.
3. A Wand of Lacing. Will lace and tie or untie all laces on clothes you wear. 20 charges.
Here are ten items, which players can't make much use for or are simple bad:
- Scroll of Ugliness: Seems like any other spell scroll (your choice), unless you cast identify. If someone uses it, he (or the target, depending on the spell it should be), he has disadvantage on charisma checks for a week. Same happens if a wizard tries to copy the spell into his spellbook.
- Fumbling Die: Whenever you roll this die, it springs and rolls in impossible directions and lands where you have to move furniture to get it back. Also called 'A gamer's die'.
- Sword of Humming: This swords hums in a low voice when drawn and a loud one, when you're swinging it. No other properties.
- Speaking Quill: Whenever you use this quill to write something, the quill will read the words you write. Sometimes it remembers you of the punctuation rules and comments your bad handwriting.
- Box of Poverty: Whenever you put an item made out of gold into the box and closes it, it becomes silver. If you do the same with a silver object, it becomes copper. If you put any other material inside it, it becomes coal, unless it is coal, then the box explodes in a 5ft burst, dealing 3d6 force and 3d6 fire damage (no save).
- Broken Wand of Measurement: If you point the wand at an object, it should show you, how large it is in any dimension, but for some reason, this specific one can only measure how far you are peeing.
- Eye drops of yellow: If you use these eyedrops, your eyes becomes yellow. Not only the iris, but also the eyeball. You're seeing yellow, too. And it hurts. Could be almost yellow paint, if it worked anywhere else than the eyes.
- Magnetic Shield: When you attune this item, it will be magnetic... sadly only to your own gear. And it's cursed, so you can't remove it. When you use a short rest, it attunes automatically. More than one fighter was rendered motionless, since the armor gets stuck on the shield and trying to remove it tends to glue the limbs due iron boots, knee protectors, gauntlets, etc.
- Boots of Adaptablity: These boots adapt perfectly to the wearers feet. Even the soles will definitely take any shape the floor provides without any smoothening. Beware of glass shards!
- Powersuit: In this Bruce Lee look-alike suit you feel more powerful. Remember, you're only feeling more powerful, but aren't in reality.
A candle that burns cold making the room it is in colder
A tankard that converts any liquid inside of it to really salty water
A hand mirror that lets you see what you looked like in your youth
A straight razor that when used makes your hair grow back 5x faster
A gem that only looks precious to the beholder, to everyone else it looks just like a rock
MasterNamer wrote:
These are awesome guys, thank you.
I have the trinkets list but I'm always on the look out for different creative ideas, that and I plan to have about 12 of these labs across the continent so the more experiments the better
Kentus wrote:
A few of my own ideas:
A notebook that only opens if you attune to it.
A Small statue that quotes parables once per day
Eye glassess that will change colour randomly (rose coloured glassess, seeing blue)
A clockwork boot polisher
A small compass that always points towards the nearest source of alchohol
An invisible helmet
Brass knuckles that soften a punch
A flickering wand of light (strobe lighting)
One of my all time favorites. It dates back to an April Fools issue of Dragon (I think) in 1e or 2e.
A Liar of Building. It looks just like a Lyre of Building, but when used it just indicates structures that are already built and exclaims things like, "I built that!" and "That's one of mine. Took me a lot of effort to put that one together!"
Heh. Just remembered another one.
A Ring of Spell Turning. When used it just announces, "T-U-R-N-I-N-G. Turning!"
Griffin2099 wrote:
A teapot that never empties but only pours a hot liquid that is, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
akr71 wrote:
transcendantviewer wrote:
durntaur wrote:
transcendantviewer wrote:
akr71 wrote:
MasterNamer wrote:
I would totally build a Bear Totem Barbarian whose only weapon would be the Towel of Protection.
Ooo! Is it to late to submit a few?
Wand of Doodad Finding - Where's that thing you just put down and can no longer find? You just had it! This wand will locate a nearby object (within 20 ft.) that you recently had in you possession (no longer that 24 hours ago). The wand will point your arm toward the object when activated and the magic words (Frustrated growling sounds) are spoken.
Alarming Duck - This large (2 ft.) clockwork duck has a wind-up key in its back that will upon winding begin quacking very loudly (can be heard up to 1000 ft. away) while waddling and flapping it's mechanical wings. However due to a flaw in its design the winding key will stick fast and the motion of its wings and legs will cause internal mechanisms to perpetually rewind the clockworks making it unable to shut off without destroying it.
Philter of Flatulence - A small bottle of inky black liquid that has the label "Love Potion Antidote" pasted on the side. Will break any charm spell but will give the imbiber loud and constant flatulence for 2d4 days thereafter. No SBD here, they are all loud and disgusting.
put in a trap:
behind some books on a desk against a wall is a metal handle, decorating the room are many stone statues, if anyone pulls the handle, it opens a hole to a nozzles that sprays the persons hand up to the forearm with a petrifying myst, and as the spraying stops, one of the statues slides forward and drops some kind of weapon onto the petrified limb, shattering it.
I did this in my game, and my brothers character pushed his companion out of the way to pull this mysterious handle hidden behind some books, and lost his arm.
the companion then used his mage hand spell to pull it again to see if it did anything else.
great moment.
Orethalion wrote:
Useless, fun objects that revolve around death, dreams, insanity, alien geometries, and tentacles...
- A scroll of Animate Bone: Collect all 206!
- Mummy Wraps: Act as leather armor, but render the wearer vulnerable to fire. High quality mummy wraps are sterilized, rendering the wearer resistant to diseases, poison, and necrotic damage.
- The Imaginary Sword: The guard stares at you, befuddled. Throwing his arms in the air, he yells overdramatically, "Augh! I am wounded! Augh, augh, it hurts! Alas, I am slain!" He falls to the floor clutching his chest. After a few seconds, he opens one eye to see if you are still there. (Further combat yields an entire room of bad acting. Any actual injuries cause people to stop pretending and go back to real fighting.)
- Hat of Disguise Self: This hat disguises itself to look like a different hat.
- +5 Foam Noodle: Great accuracy, but deals 0 damage. You can still add Strength and other modifiers you might have.
Guys, I just wanted to say Thank You for these.
I'm sure they will amuse and frustrate my players.
Lets see
Card of Distraction - When viewed instructs user to look at the opposite side, images change and lead viewer on that there might be something more to it.
Hat of Sobriety - when donned this hat instantly ends the duration of drunkenness, with the drawbacks of the hangover.
Vest of 1000 pockets - This stylish vest has over 1000 pockets on it, not a single one seems to be able to hold an object larger than 1 gp.
Mask of unspeakable horror - when donned this mask mutes the player (as if the silence spell has been cast upon them) and displays visually graphic illusions for them, user must save (will) dc 12 or be frightened for the next hour.
Bust of Handsomeness - this magical bust takes shape of whoever holds it last, when observed closer the bust has enhanced the features of the visage to make it more pleasant to view.
Socks of Slipperiness - Socks act as if the grease spell has been cast under them (DC 13)
samuraivillain2 wrote:
The best books I think I own are the 4 volumn Encyclopedia of Magica there are thousands of magic items in there. Some are useful and some are things like a fireproof container or a watertight container, or magic bindings or rope. One that I like is Band of Bird Restraint it is a thin metal or leather band that when placed on a bird prevents it from leaving the building.
Love Potion Number Nine - as the song. May be mistaken for a vial of poison. Instructions for use are easy to misunderstand.
Funky Cold Medina - Again, as the song. Does not work the way an over-eager user thinks it should. (This one may actually have a subtle Curse bestowed on it.)
Potion of Raise Dead - note that dead people cannot drink potions.
Ring of Reinforcements - When activated, causes a Wicked Witch's Voice to emanate from behind your enemies, saying "Don't make me call out the flying monkeys!" (Nothing actually arrives.)
Scroll of Dispell Darkness - good luck reading this while inside the zone of a Darkness spell.
Grimtooth's Traps - This book describes many over-the-top traps that can be placed in a dungeon. It can serve as a warning or study reference for the PCs. The DM who allows this book to pass into a PC's hands is obligated to place at least one Grimtooth Trap in every dungeon, even if doing so is thematically inappropriate.
Cap of the Troglodyte - Made of troglodyte-skin leather, this cap can give you the Troglodyte Stench aura (see the MM). Note that the aura affects YOU just as much as anybody else. Another version is made from skunk hides, and has the appropriate stripe on it.
There was a whole thread of 3.5-era ideas once. (Yes I am that old.) Now I have to search my notes.
Griffin2099 wrote:
Griffin2099 wrote:
Griffin2099 wrote:
BRJN, the glasses don't really sound all that useless. You could simply always wear them.
Fork of Gyroscopia
Uncommon (Requires Attunement)
This enchanted, beautiful fork is designed for the lazyman. While attuned to this fork, you may release your grasp upon it and it will follow your whim, performing everything from holding your beef in place for you to cut to spinning pasta to the perfect mouthful, never missing a single stand. However, while holding onto this fork, it will refuse to touch anything even remotely edible and shy away from even the most comely of beef.
Boots of Compelled Sliding
Rare (Requires Attunement), Cursed.
These beautiful boots look to be made of elegant black leather, expertly tailored to be alluring to the eye. When attuned to these boots and wearing them, the wearer must succeed a DC 20 Wisdom Saving Throw or be magically compelled to attempt to slide on any surface that the bottoms of these boots touch. This effect behaves like a Command spell and lasts until the wearer either removes the boots or manages to take a long rest.
Hankerchief of Ungracefulness
Uncommon, Cursed.
A crimson napkin, accented with brilliant, shimmering golden him. While this item is caried on their person, the wielder of this item must make a DC 10 Dexterity Saving Throw at the start of each of their turns or fall prone. The item houses a compulsion affect, requiring the wearer to make a DC 15 Wisdom Saving Throw each day at dawn to rid themselves of the handkerchief. However, this item is patient and willing to wait centuries to make a fool of others. It is linked to evil itself and thus, cannot be destroyed by any means unless all evil ceases to exist, at which point, it becomes a regular handkerchief.