So, for glory and the lols, I invite you all to submit your Eberron in-world jokes here.
I'll get the ball rolling with the only one I can think of right now:
A Thranian man, a Cyran man and a Brelish man are standing on the edge of a cliff.
The Thranian throws a bottle of holy water of the cliff. "Why'd you do that?" the others ask.
"Because we have plenty of that in my country". The Thranian replies.
Then the Cyran throws an anvil off the cliff. "Why'd you do that?" the others ask.
"Because we have plenty of that in my country". The Cyran replies.
Then the Brelish man grabs the Cyran man and throws him off the cliff. "Why'd you do that?" asks the Tranian man.
"Because we have plenty of them in my country." The Brelish man replies.
I'm sure many of you can do much better...
"AT LAST, I AM FREE! I SHALL REPAY YOUR SERVICE TO ME BY GRANTING EACH OF YOU ONE WISH!"
The Cyran steps forward first and eagerly says, "I wish that Cyre were restored and myself and all of my people were there, happy and prosperous for the rest of our days!"
"IT IS DONE." The djinn claps his mighty hands and the Cyran vanishes in a puff of smoke.
The warforged steps forward, gaze downcast in thought for a moment. "I, too, wish that my people might have a land to call our own, and that we might all be united there in happiness and prosperity."
"IT IS DONE." The djinn claps his hands again and the warforged vanishes just as the Cyran did.
The citizen of Breland steps forward, looking somewhat bemused. "Hang on," the human says, "let me make sure I've got this straight. Every single warforged and every single Cyran has disappeared from the nation of Breland?"
"IT IS AS YOU SAY."
The Brelish citizen shrugged. "I guess I'll just have an ale, then."
A Thrane, a Karrn, a goblin from Darguun, and a Brelish citizen are among the passengers on an airship. As they're standing idle upon the upper deck, the airship pitches suddenly and begins to plummet. The captain calls out in an urgent tone, "The bindings are failing! We're too heavy! Dump the cargo or we'll crash!"
The passengers immediately begin heaving cargo overboard, but the ship continues to plummet. "Still too heavy! Dump everything!" Furniture, riggings, luggage, it all goes over the side to no effect. "I'm sorry, but some of you will have to jump or we'll all die!"
The Thrane is the first to step to the bow. He holds a holy symbol aloft, shouts "In the name of the Silver Flame!" and leaps over the side.
The airship continues to plummet.
The Karrn steps forth, jaw set firmly as she declares "For the glory of Karrnath!" and leaps over the side.
Still the airship continues its descent.
The Brelish citizen steps forward, shouts "Remember the Veldarren!" and pitches the goblin over the side.
Oh, and then there's this one...
A Flamekeeper and a Kundarak heir are strolling through a park when they spot a young boy bending over to tie his shoe.
"By the Flame, I'd sure like to screw that kid," says the Thranish holy man.
The Kundarak heir looks the boy over and frowns. "Out of what?"
I'll probably have more before long.
I apologised but his nose is still bent funny.
--
Ever notice how Githzerai psions talk like this..... and Githyanki psions talk like this....!
--
What's the deal with Dragonshards? Seriously, folks!
The Cannith artificer pulls out papers, begins sketching, and is soon engrossed in diagrams detailing how to build a Warforged walking siege ladder, alchemical explosives, or a complex alchemical ritual to turn the wall to mud.
The Aundarian battlemage begins rifling through his pockets to try to find the spell componants he needs to blast his way through the wall.
The Brelish commoner opens the door and walks through.
Djinn Jokes!
A karnathi officer and two privates are patrolling when they stumble upon an old lamp. Some rubbing and a might djinn appear:
"you have the right to ask 3 wishes, one each"
The first private says: "I want to be rich and live in my own castle!"
The djinn waves his hand and the private vanishes in a puff of smoke.
The second one comes and asks: "I want to be in a room full of horny women!"
Again the djinn waves and the private vanishes.
Then the officer says:
"I want that two good-for-nothing **** back to their posts NOW!"
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A aundarian and a breelish are walking and find a djinn lamp. The djinn inform then they have to share the 3 wishes, and round it down(you always round down) for one wish each.
The aundarian is quick to ask: "I want all the aundarians safe in Aundair, and a huge impenetrable magic wall around our beautiful country!"
The aundarian is teleported and the djinn turn to the breelish.
"What do you want?"
"Are all the aundarians back into Aundair?" he asks.
"Yes" answer the djinn.
"Did you surrounded it with the impenetrable magical wall?"
"Of course"
"Then just fill it with water"
"but seriously, I like Droaamites. I'm a small guy, and I won't pretend I'm not. the only reason I work at the Korranberg Chronicle for my day job is cause I can't reach my boss to ask him for a promotion."
"thanks to my buddy I can almost retire in peace! I guess two heads realy are better than one, when their nine feet in the air."
"actually, anythings better than one head when it's nine feet in the air."
"just ask my little brother. he still can't shut up, but at least I can't hear him anymore."
"have you ever wondered what it must be like to never stop talking? I cast a spell on myself once to compell myself to keep talking. after twelve minutes of it I cast another spell to shut me up."
"took until my birthday for someone to get rid of that spell again. and I didn't get any other presents that year."
"if only my brother hated his own voice that much, am I right?"