Greetings Eberronians.
I've been absolutely fascinated by Eberron since I bought the 4E campaign books, and have been trawling this section of the forum looking for tidbits of storylines or campaign ideas, and using the advice everyone has given in response. I figured it's time I joined the forum and got involved!
Starting a new campaign soon, and will be introducing an NPC in the very first encounter who ultimately turns to betray the party. Couple of bits in the storyline I'd like advice on. Particularly at the end of the post.
I realise I got quite carried away here with the "brief" story. I really enjoyed writing all this, so hopefully you might enjoy reading it or using parts of it.
Brief story:
Using the Mark of Prophecy in the back of the campaign book.
Xanden is a sorcerer of House Lyrandar, he's just a deckhand on one of the ships but he has two things going for him: a Mark of Storm, and a blue dragon wyrmling who has joined him with the promise of riding through storms on Lyrandar's airship (when he acquires one, that is) and promise of safe living in Sharn (which would be quite difficult for a blue wyrmling).
When sailing in an airship he lost a crate of cargo over the side. And it landed on the tower in the first encounter. He appears as the party does, on the story that 'he was attacked by bandits on griffons on the airship and the piece of cargo went overboard. It was a very important delivery to Karrnath and Xanden has to retrieve it and deliver it personally before anyone gets annoyed.' What really happened was that Xanden was smuggling fake dragonshards, and they were hidden in the crate that went overboard, and he's here to recover them. The party managed to find one of the shards amongst the shattered cargo before Xanden could hide it. The party will hopefully associate the shard with the Dolgrimm there.
// I'm writing this out I've just noticed one of my own plot-holes.
//
// I want to have the initial encounters in the tower on the edge of the Mourning.
// I want the 4 years to pass like in the Mark of Prophecy (dealing with an Eberron during the
// end of the war would be too much work on my part, I'd rather have the semi-stable Eberron
// that is already fully documented).
// Ideally I'd like the dragonshard they find in the tower to be identified as fake (a good one, too).
// Any ideas how I can establish this? The only thing I can think of is having some guy they sold it
// to spot them when they're in Sharn 4 years later and challenge them about it being fake... I'm
// not sure I buy it myself, so I doubt the group would.
// I could drop it and introduce the fake dragonshards as a hook later on, but I want to have
// Xanden loosely associated with discovery of the shard so that that party might figure out how
// involved he's been all this time when he ultimately betrays them.
After the 4 year intermission, Xanden has risen the ranks and is now in control of his own airship. Xanden's wrymling has grown to a young dragon now, making his airship one of the safest to travel on. Nothing deters hijackers like a dragon! I'll be levelling this dragon up to keep up with Xanden and the party. Was thinking to alter him to be an elite instead of a solo, so that he can be in an encounter with Xanden without being horribly overpowering.
The dragonshards will be a running theme through heroic tier, tracking down them down, finding the smuggling ring involved with them, discovering how they are being made, and defeating the mastermind behind the whole thing ( I see this as being the end of heroic, where the party has gained some fame for beating part of the criminal underworld).
But they didn't actually beat the mastermind, it was Xanden who has run it all along, and has not been incriminated (he's covering his tracks very well). All the while he's been helping on the odd adventure, giving transport now and then to appear the good-guy. He's beginning to appreciate the party, he knows he'll have to dispose of them at some point, but he thinks he can use them to complete something he can't.
Xanden ultimately wants to summon Dagon (MM2) and cause mayhem in Eberron. He has found tomes linking the creation of an almighty storm over a manifest zone somewhere in the sea to being able to summon him, along with stirring his legion of Kraken and other undersea beasts that lay in slumber at the seabed.
Now he adventures with the party on his airship to find out where a relic capable of controlling storms is located. When they all discover where it is, Xanden makes his move. Whilst fully airborne he will betray the party. But I can't decide how he will do it. His options are:
1) He doesn't think he is powerful enough to beat them, so instead he just moves them. He has an attack faked on the ship. "They're too powerful, quick, get to my cabin, there's a portal there to escape. I'll release the elementals, they're not getting my ship in one piece! I'll be right behind you!". After the PCs go through the portal, Xanden destroys it. And sails on merrily to be the sole owner of the almighty relic. The portal is actually linked to the HQ of the mastermind behind the smuggling ring that they defeated in heroic tier. "Xanden's been in on it all along! We have to beat him to the relic!"
2) He doesn't think he is powerful enough to beat them, but he sure is sneaky enough! He fakes the elementals breaking free. "Abandon ship! Take these Feather Fall potions, quick! Over the edge before they blow the whole thing!". I think this plan is a little TOO devious. The potions are not actually feather fall, and there goes the party plummeting to their doom. I think this option is the funniest, and I would love the burning hatred for Xanden that the PCs would have. Is there any way to get them to survive? All I can think of is making sure that they have their own feather fall potions from a previous adventure.
3) He thinks he's powerful enough. This has some issues. If he is losing, he will escape on the dragon. Without a Mark of Storm onboard the ship will start to lose control, and the PCs will have to somehow get off the ship, using either feather fall potions, or finding the portal in the cabin. These all work fine. But what if he wins?
After somehow surviving, the party must get to the relic before Xanden does. I see the climax of this section being a party defeat in the end. Xanden gets there first. I have a great mental image of Xanden standing at the front of his airship holding the relic high in the air as it sails into the center of a massive thunderstorm, his dragon circling the airship on wing, until they cannot see him through the black clouds.
Any comments or suggestions for the storyline would be very useful. And any advice on what to do with the 4-year itermission, or on Xanden's options would be very much appreciated!
Regards
That was the brief version
? Ok, let's see what we've got. Be warned-I'll play the devil's advocate a lot!Xanden is a sorcerer of House Lyrandar, he's just a deckhand on one of the ships but he has two things going for him: a Mark of Storm, and a blue dragon wyrmling who has joined him with the promise of riding through storms on Lyrandar's airship (when he acquires one, that is) and promise of safe living in Sharn (which would be quite difficult for a blue wyrmling).
To be honest, it's a little hard to believe. Draconic aging and vanity issues aside, the dragon got out of nowhere and follows him why? Fear? Even a wyrmlng is stronger than the typical human. The promise of flights on an airship that the half-elf deckhand of all people might obtain means nothing to a dragon.How did it get there anyway? And of all people, it turns to the deckhand for aid? Sorry, i'm not convinced. It sounds too artificial. Unless it's a setup by a mature dragon, perhaps the Chamber itself i.e. the Prophecy demanded it.
The party will hopefully associate the shard with the Dolgrimm there.
Why should they? Are they all looking like Khyber Shards anyway?
// Any ideas how I can establish this? The only thing I can think of is having some guy they sold it
// to spot them when they're in Sharn 4 years later and challenge them about it being fake... I'm
// not sure I buy it myself, so I doubt the group would.
Hm...how about the group's patron is interested in the fake dragonshards trade and asks them to investigate? Furthermore, why do is the trade for fake dragonshards so profitable? Once it turns out that the providers sell useless crystals, wouldn't the smugglers already be in a tough spot? or do they always find new suckers markets? If so, where? is this organisation so powerful that the whole heroic tier will revolve around them?
After the 4 year intermission, Xanden has risen the ranks and is now in control of his own airship. Xanden's wrymling has grown to a young dragon now, making his airship one of the safest to travel on. Nothing deters hijackers like a dragon! I'll be levelling this dragon up to keep up with Xanden and the party. Was thinking to alter him to be an elite instead of a solo, so that he can be in an encounter with Xanden without being horribly overpowering.
He grew up in 4 years? Anyway, that's not a big issue. The question is, what is the dragon doing there still? It's a dragon, not a pet! Their vanity is supposed to be sky-high!
But they didn't actually beat the mastermind, it was Xanden who has run it all along, and has not been incriminated (he's covering his tracks very well).All the while he's been helping on the odd adventure, giving transport now and then to appear the good-guy. He's beginning to appreciate the party, he knows he'll have to dispose of them at some point, but he thinks he can use them to complete something he can't.
How does he meet them? An how are the players going to find out the truth?
Now he adventures with the party on his airship to find out where a relic capable of controlling storms is located. When they all discover where it is, Xanden makes his move. Whilst fully airborne he will betray the party. But I can't decide how he will do it. His options are:
1) He doesn't think he is powerful enough to beat them, so instead he just moves them. He has an attack faked on the ship. "They're too powerful, quick, get to my cabin, there's a portal there to escape. I'll release the elementals, they're not getting my ship in one piece! I'll be right behind you!". After the PCs go through the portal, Xanden destroys it. And sails on merrily to be the sole owner of the almighty relic. The portal is actually linked to the HQ of the mastermind behind the smuggling ring that they defeated in heroic tier. "Xanden's been in on it all along! We have to beat him to the relic!"
2) He doesn't think he is powerful enough to beat them, but he sure is sneaky enough! He fakes the elementals breaking free. "Abandon ship! Take these Feather Fall potions, quick! Over the edge before they blow the whole thing!". I think this plan is a little TOO devious. The potions are not actually feather fall, and there goes the party plummeting to their doom. I think this option is the funniest, and I would love the burning hatred for Xanden that the PCs would have. Is there any way to get them to survive? All I can think of is making sure that they have their own feather fall potions from a previous adventure.
3) He thinks he's powerful enough. This has some issues. If he is losing, he will escape on the dragon. Without a Mark of Storm onboard the ship will start to lose control, and the PCs will have to somehow get off the ship, using either feather fall potions, or finding the portal in the cabin. These all work fine. But what if he wins?
You seem to assume that the players will never suspect him. I wouldn't be so sure when it comes to an artifact like that. I also have to ask how are the players aiding the sorceror's quest so far. What did they complete that he couldn't?
1) What do you mean he has a battle "faked"? Otherwise, it might work.
2) How? And why assume that the PCs won't check the situation themselves? I know I wouldn't jump with an untested potion just because the captain told me to do so.
3) Isn't that the danger of every battle? Anyway, if he wins, he might capture them instead of killl them all(they'd make a nice sacrifice). But what if they truly win? Xanden doesn't sound like a very powerful individual. And the young dragon would not be such a huge danger for characters of that level, would he? What makes you sure that he will manage to escape on his(sorry, too much disbelief) dragon?
After somehow surviving, the party must get to the relic before Xanden does. I see the climax of this section being a party defeat in the end. Xanden gets there first. I have a great mental image of Xanden standing at the front of his airship holding the relic high in the air as it sails into the center of a massive thunderstorm, his dragon circling the airship on wing, until they cannot see him through the black clouds.
What postponed them?
Xanden seems to have to too much power way too fast. From a deckhand to a powerful sorceror-captain who is the mastermind of a criminal organisation that the PCs just couldn't uncover and a member of a cult of Khyber of the cult of the Storm, owns a dragon of all creatures and has outdone the players on every turn. In 4 years. I'm reluctant to accept all that. It's almost like someone else is pulling the strings...
Anyway, that's all. I hope it didn't come out as too harsh or critical(you were warned!) and I'd be very interested to see your answers.
My general advice here, gleaned more from writing than from DMing, is to *not* focus on the big picture so much. All the pre-planning is a little like writing your outline, whereas the gaming sessions themselves are like actually sitting down to write stuff. IME a lot of writers back themselves into a corner by actually outlining *too much* and then when the characters in their head want to say and do their own thing they find themselves either having to throw out large chunks of their plot or shoehorn the characters' responses into what was already planned.
If the characters in your head won't respond the way your outline says they should respond, how can you expect players who are *not* in your head to respond the same way?
No, what you really want to do if you want this to be like a novel IMO is you *don't* have a gigantic write-up for what's going to happen from one adventure to the next. What I do in my writing is I plan out a big climactic set-piece and then let the characters figure out how to get there. For the most part, you want your planning to be from session to session. Now, if you're really trying to make this feel like a novel, you'll want to make sure it's paced correctly too. Try and work in a minor set-piece about halfway through, and maybe some other, smaller, ones a quarter and three-quarters of the way in as well. Also, don't disparage subplotting. Real novels can spend pages and pages on stuff that has little to nothing to do with the primary plot.
Ultimately, the biggest issue you're going to have with running a game like a novel is that with a novel you get to go back and rewrite the whole mess when you're done. Expect it to get messy, expect there to be loose ends that you may not be able to wrap up, even expect some plot discontinuity and retconning. Real, actual novel-writing can be really, really sloppy with the first draft. You simply cannot expect 6 people collaborating on a piece of literature - because, ultimately, that's what a good game is - to be as taut and to the point as a single person running through the same set of scenarios for the 6th or 7th time.
To be honest, it's a little hard to believe. Draconic aging and vanity issues aside, the dragon got out of nowhere and follows him why? Fear? Even a wyrmlng is stronger than the typical human. The promise of flights on an airship that the half-elf deckhand of all people might obtain means nothing to a dragon.How did it get there anyway? And of all people, it turns to the deckhand for aid? Sorry, i'm not convinced. It sounds too artificial. Unless it's a setup by a mature dragon, perhaps the Chamber itself i.e. the Prophecy demanded it.
I can up Xanlen's role at the beginning then. Maybe not a lowly deckhand, how about a first-mate, or a lieutenant. The main idea with him starting low was that he was actually needing a bit of help from the party initially, hopefully warming the PCs to him. If he started off as an airship captain, why would he need the help of the party to get to the top of a tower, he could just fly there. I wanted to give the impression that since they met 4 years ago, he's been busy and achieved quite a lot.
Could use the Chamber element to justify it better, whereby the Chamber has seen references to a "tempest" that they are trying to identify/prevent/cause. Xanden has matched some descriptions, and a wyrmling is there to watch him. As Xanden's power grows, the dragon may or may not be corrupted by the elemental power and join him. This seems a little bit more reasonable than my initial justification, but I agree, it still seems a little artificial. I have always loved blue dragons and always try to fit them in somewhere. Thought I was onto something good linking the blue to the bringer of a great thunderstorm. Would love some input on what would make a blue linked to a airship captain not artificial.
The party will hopefully associate the shard with the Dolgrimm there.
Why should they? Are they all looking like Khyber Shards anyway?
I think this is getting a little strained. I will drop this link. I often find I try and fit too much story around too few encounters! Will sever the game here, and make it fresh after the 4 year intermission, better than linking them up with some weak plot hook.
Hm...how about the group's patron is interested in the fake dragonshards trade and asks them to investigate? Furthermore, why do is the trade for fake dragonshards so profitable? Once it turns out that the providers sell useless crystals, wouldn't the smugglers already be in a tough spot? or do they always find new suckers markets? If so, where? is this organisation so powerful that the whole heroic tier will revolve around them?
I'll use this link, just get the patron to initiate it, rather than getting the PCs involved in it beforehand. I hadn't considered the short life-expectancy of each of these markets. It might be nation/continent-wide, however, I'm picturing small one-off jobs in each area, with a new group of people doing it in the next city. Like a trickle of fakes amongst the real ones. Intercepting real shipments, stealing some of the real ones and replacing fakes. Not some huge bunch of fakes they dump on a dragonmarked house and then run away to the next town. Makes it a bit more of a long-term investment, rather than a short-term money-grabbing scheme.
After the 4 year intermission, Xanden has risen the ranks and is now in control of his own airship. Xanden's wrymling has grown to a young dragon now, making his airship one of the safest to travel on. Nothing deters hijackers like a dragon! I'll be levelling this dragon up to keep up with Xanden and the party. Was thinking to alter him to be an elite instead of a solo, so that he can be in an encounter with Xanden without being horribly overpowering.
He grew up in 4 years? Anyway, that's not a big issue. The question is, what is the dragon doing there still? It's a dragon, not a pet! Their vanity is supposed to be sky-high!
The Draconomicon says that blues grow from wyrmling to youth in about 7 years, so it's quite possible. At least that's one hole I can fully justify lol, shame about the rest of them . If I went with the dragon being sent by the Chamber, Xanden would have to have revealed enough prophecy-related events for the dragon to still think he could be involved. Maybe it might not be a very vain blue, perhaps it's more for-a-greater-purpose-and-for-the-good-of-the-chamber kind of dragon.
But they didn't actually beat the mastermind, it was Xanden who has run it all along, and has not been incriminated (he's covering his tracks very well).All the while he's been helping on the odd adventure, giving transport now and then to appear the good-guy. He's beginning to appreciate the party, he knows he'll have to dispose of them at some point, but he thinks he can use them to complete something he can't.
How does he meet them? An how are the players going to find out the truth?
Sorry, do you mean how do Xanden meet the party? If so, he met them in the first encounter when he was getting the fallen crate. I know it seems railroady, but I was planning on having the truth become apparent if I use the portal option when Xanden betrays them when they find he is linked to the lair of a baddie they have defeated. I wasn't planning on their being incriminating evidence for Xanden to be associated with. Although, in assuming my players will ruin (not intentionally ofc) most of my story elements, I would have to plan a rough variant if he is accused quite close to the start.
I also have to ask how are the players aiding the sorceror's quest so far. What did they complete that he couldn't?
Are you familiar with the Mark of Prophecy? There's a prophecy mark in the tower at the beginning which says along the lines of "five at the brink of desolation, stand as one against the tempest's roar". As Xanden plot to summon Dagon begins to take shape, he realises that the prophecy mark might be saying that the party will stand against him. I will have to go along with him being 'curious' about this fact, and chooses to watch the party carefully, maybe becoming more involved. The alternative is "can't have you ruining my plans, now you will die", which I don't want to run with, I like to think he is taking his time to go for this option.
1) What do you mean he has a battle "faked"?
Hiring mercenaries to swarm around the ship, perhaps even have them kill some of the crew (who cares about a couple of crew) to add to the authenticity. I'm imagining Xanden not using his own identity when hiring them, so that they won't recognise him. On second thought, the players would want to engage such a challenge, so would have to have the party and Xanden fighting a losing battle against the mercenaries, and ultimately retreating into the cabin maybe. Not quite happy with this the more I think about it. In the end, they do have a dragon defending them (providing i can justify him even being there in the first place lol). Just realised a whole other point I have to consider. Is the dragon in on his plan? Need to think about that.
2) How? And why assume that the PCs won't check the situation themselves? I know I wouldn't jump with an untested potion just because the captain told me to do so.
Just threw the elementals breaking free as an example, didn't actually consider the details. He would need some reason to jump overboard. It's preying on their inexperience, really. The party will be new to DnD, so even by paragon tier they might not have learnt the lesson of don't-trust-everyone, or make-sure-you-have-a-feather-fall-before-you-jump lol. This is looking like the weakest of the three now.
3) Isn't that the danger of every battle? Anyway, if he wins, he might capture them instead of killl them all(they'd make a nice sacrifice). But what if they truly win? Xanden doesn't sound like a very powerful individual. And the young dragon would not be such a huge danger for characters of that level, would he? What makes you sure that he will manage to escape on his(sorry, too much disbelief) dragon?
It is the danger, but mostly it is the party attacking and monsters defending. It's a lot easier to envision capture in that case. The reason I imagine escape to be very possible is that it's planned mainly for a 2-man campaign. The damage between the DMs round will not be so high that he's dead before he moves. You're right that he doesn't sound very powerful. I didn't quite consider this myself. I saw him as quite the manipulator and schemer, and that's how he was successful and 'powerful' in the criminal underworld. How about his dragon being full-level, i.e. a solo monster (of course I would be weakening him to account for only 2 PCs), and Xanden being a regular monster. Perhaps he knows full well his current lack of great power, and is on the backfoot from the beginning, ready to jump off with a feather-fall, or better yet, a fly, when things get hairy. After he jumps, the dragon would linger a round and then fly down to get Xanden.
Only after gaining the relic would he actually become the thunderous, very dangerous powerhouse I want him to be.
After somehow surviving, the party must get to the relic before Xanden does. I see the climax of this section being a party defeat in the end. Xanden gets there first. I have a great mental image of Xanden standing at the front of his airship holding the relic high in the air as it sails into the center of a massive thunderstorm, his dragon circling the airship on wing, until they cannot see him through the black clouds.
What postponed them?
The time of the betrayal is when they're on their way to the relic, after joining the party to find out where it is. By ditching the party overboard, or just abandoning the airship leaving it to crash, he has given himself a substantial headstart.
Xanden seems to have to too much power way too fast. From a deckhand to a powerful sorceror-captain who is the mastermind of a criminal organisation that the PCs just couldn't uncover and a member of a cult of Khyber of the cult of the Storm, owns a dragon of all creatures and has outdone the players on every turn. In 4 years. I'm reluctant to accept all that. It's almost like someone else is pulling the strings...
When you put it like that, it does seem excessive. I think starting him higher up, goes a little way towards it. I imagine all of that as being more spread out over his life, rather than in those 4 years. In the four years I want him to have progressed to being a captain, and behind-the-scenes, has risen (possibly) to the top of a smuggling ring. I don't see him outdoing the player's on every turn, he is just such an unknown figure who pulling the strings that crushing his operations doesn't reveal him. Think maybe of The Joker at the opening scene of The Dark Knight, none of them are quite certain who has hired them, but they know there's money at the end so they'll go along with it.
It's in the longer run that he realises his own possibly part in the prophecy, and becoming fascinated by the Cult of Storm (are you referring to something in the literature here? Either way, it's a cool cult for him to be in lol), and searching for power to control the weather, to ultimately wake Dagon. Nothing like a spontaneous epiphony: Just pictured how Dagon will be released, I imagine it quite cinematic for him to just kill Xanden for the hell of it straight away. Dagon could have been influencing things all along to make it possible for Xanden to succeed. That adds a bit of justification for behind the DMs screen at least, wouldn't offer much consolation for the players though...
Anyway, that's all. I hope it didn't come out as too harsh or critical(you were warned!)
Not at all! If you didn't point out some of these, I'm sure my players would have. At least I have time to account for them rather than having to come up with a justification on the spot if it arises in the game.
Thankyou for taking the time to look at it.
I hope I got these quotes in the right places!