Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 The_Silversword Sep 26, 2010 16:27:15	I figured we could use a more lighthearted thread up in here, instead of all the usual serious Realmslore. Basically im just ripping off Jeff Foxworthy's You might be a redneck if... but only Realms related, could be fun right? I'll start You might be in the Realms... When you go down to the local temple to pray to your god/goddess, only to find out that they've died!, again!!!
#2 sfdragon Sep 27, 2010 12:37:42	you might be in the realms, if the your walking around calling your self Jeriah Chronus
#3 The_Silversword Sep 27, 2010 23:32:25	HAHAHAHA!! And here I was thinking that nobody else wanted to play. I've got another. If another planet just pops up out of nowhere and collides with yours just to explain why your neighbors are Dragonborn, you just might be in the Realms!
#4 Plaguescarred1 Sep 28, 2010 0:05:57	You might be in the Realms if...your boat just harbored in an underground city's docks.
#5 The_Silversword Sep 28, 2010 4:31:49	You might be in the Realms if a Chosen of Mystra steals your kill... again. (this one is dedicated to all the Chosen haters, may you find peace one day) Damnit! I was just about to post that! Well I was gonna word it a little differently, Youre just about to save the world when a crazed ol sheepherder takes your kill and takes all the credit, and all the women! it amounts to the same thing though.
#6 Dragon9 Sep 28, 2010 7:06:26	If even the commoners in the tiniest speck on the map are higher level than you, you might be in the Realms.
#7 sfdragon Sep 28, 2010 7:45:12	you might be in the realms if there is a much of fools sitting in a coffee shop complaining that there are too many @#$% powerful wizards in the world
#8 MR._T Sep 28, 2010 14:02:40	If you die walking through an undead forest or town because you thought it was halloween, you might be in the realms.
#9 Dragon9 Sep 28, 2010 22:29:26	If one of your most powerful enemy's is deafeated by you one day and then they're a magic item merchant the next, you might be in the Realms.
#10 sfdragon Sep 29, 2010 7:54:11	if you yell loud enough in waterdeep, and somone says, excuse  excuse me, I think they heard you in Silverymoon, you might be in therealms.
#11 eriksdb Sep 29, 2010 12:49:44	If Elminster is your daddy, you might be in the Realms. Cheers
#12 Jorunhast Sep 29, 2010 13:47:59	If your name is Dragonbait, or your alias is "Alias," you might be in the Realms.
#13 MR._T Sep 29, 2010 14:23:30	If you see a large object hurtling through the air that turns out not to be a flaming, burning, crashing plane but instead, a large, winged, fire breathing dragon, you might be in the realms.
#14 sfdragon Sep 29, 2010 15:33:17	If you believe that Jeriah "The Chronomancer" Chronus faked his own death, then you might be in the realms.
#15 sfdragon Sep 29, 2010 18:14:22	If you spend time in spellhold for hearing voices of people arguing about the rebooting of the realms, than you might be insane, but you'd be in the realms.
#16 modern_iconoclast Sep 30, 2010 9:45:51	You might be in the Realms if every new kid around the corner wears a blue scar. You might be in the Realms if like all your friends you come from the Windrise Ports.
#17 johnkretzer Sep 30, 2010 13:19:28	If world shattering events are so common people use RSE insteads...you might be in the Realms
#18 modern_iconoclast Sep 30, 2010 13:56:00	You might be in the Realms if before the Spellplague it took you a tenday to reach Waterdeep and now it takes 4 days.
#19 modern_iconoclast Sep 30, 2010 18:17:47	If you see a miniature giant space hamster, you might be in the Realms.
#20 sfdragon Oct 01, 2010 0:03:59	we just didn't want to
#21 eriksdb Oct 01, 2010 1:38:47	You might be in the Realms if every new kid around the corner wears a blue scar. You know, I have at least four named characters in my latest novel who have spellscars, and not one of them has a blue scar. Spellscars manifest so very differently! And you might be in the Realms if you know what zzar is, and have had a bit too much this very evening. Cheers
#22 sfdragon Oct 01, 2010 8:04:30	you might be in the realms if it happens. i got nothing
#23 The_Silversword Oct 01, 2010 12:27:03	You might be in the Realms if every new kid around the corner wears a blue scar. You know, I have at least four named characters in my latest novel who have spellscars, and not one of them has a blue scar. Spellscars manifest so very differently! And you might be in the Realms if you know what zzar is, and have had a bit too much this very evening. Cheers Oh man! I think I might be in the Realms!!!
#24 Plaguescarred1 Oct 02, 2010 7:33:32	You night be in the Reamls if...you think after reading a book that the Overgod is not Ao but Cyric.
#25 The_Silversword Oct 02, 2010 15:15:49	You might be in the Reamls if...you think after reading a book that the Overgod is not Ao but Cyric. Not just Ao but all the gods, theyre all just aspects of Cyric, the One and the ALL. Oh crap, I AM in the Realms!!! If you started out as but a simple thief from Zhentil Keep, and now youre a GOD!!! You just might be in the Realms.
#26 sfdragon Oct 02, 2010 23:08:52	You might be in the realms if your in the realms
#27 Nai_Calus Oct 03, 2010 0:05:41	You ARE in the Realms if some people start talking about how great Cyric or Corellon are... Really, how can one *not* talk about how great Corellon is? ;)
#28 ukplayerx Oct 03, 2010 4:33:29	You might be in the realms...when a dying man stumbles through the door of a roadside inn!
#29 Plaguescarred1 Oct 03, 2010 6:47:35	You might be in the Realms if....you live near a plateau infested by thousands of Undeads.
#30 sfdragon Oct 03, 2010 10:06:28	you might be in the realms if you think beer is holy water
#31 MR._T Oct 04, 2010 12:00:42	You might be in the Realms if....you live near a plateau infested by thousands of Undeads. Or you could be in New Jersey...
#32 sfdragon Oct 04, 2010 13:41:25	you might be in the realms if your drinking a cold one in the Bluhsing MErmaid
#33 Dragon9 Oct 04, 2010 22:19:32	If every patron hiring you to go on adventures could incinerate an entire hemisphere with a flick of a finger, you might be in the pre-4e Realms.
#34 sfdragon Oct 04, 2010 23:06:19	If you liked looking out to sea from the decks of the sea sprite, you are out to sea in the realms
#35 gomeztoo Oct 05, 2010 0:29:10	You might be in the Realms if you play Dragon Ante... with real dragons.
#36 MechaPilot Oct 05, 2010 0:34:47	You might be in the Realms . . . if the goddess of magic gave you a sex change.
#37 Ryltar_Swordsong Oct 05, 2010 15:03:55	you might be in the realms if you think beer is holy water You don't need to be in the Realms for that.
#38 sfdragon Oct 05, 2010 15:52:41	ya do if yer a dwarf who worships Moradin. You might be in the realms if you like nude dacing in the pale moonlight
#39 Dragon9 Oct 06, 2010 0:34:55	If yet another evil person/god/thing is threatening to destroy the world/take over/kill everyone in a 5 mile radius/etc. and you just shrug and say "Huh... it's Thursday already?"... you might be in the Realms.
#40 sfdragon Oct 06, 2010 0:39:11	if a bear craps in the woods, and your there to here it, you might be in the realms....
#41 dm_sb Oct 06, 2010 6:26:26	If you have a sense of "Déjà Vue", you might be in the Realms.
#42 Dragon9 Oct 06, 2010 7:20:39	If your local evil empire actually creates a ritual to make emo goth citizens, you might be in the Realms.
#43 gomeztoo Oct 06, 2010 8:37:50	You may be in the Realms if the old geezer gets all the girls, who are all hot and buxom, and who don't mind to share... and you turn out to be one of those girls.
#44 sfdragon Oct 06, 2010 13:33:53	if you think Azoun 4 was a bad arsed king, then you might be in the realms
#45 meldread Oct 06, 2010 15:48:46	If every inn and tavern barkeep that you've EVER encountered just happens to be a "retired" adventurer (who by the way is totally more bad ass than you)... you might be in the Realms.
#46 sfdragon Oct 06, 2010 17:14:55	If you're in a land  full of over ambitious meddling wizards, you might be in the realms
#47 modern_iconoclast Oct 07, 2010 13:51:10	If you see Orcs trading with Dwarves, you might be in the Realms.
#48 ukplayerx Oct 07, 2010 13:57:37	You might be in the realms when one follower of Sune says 'Where's the soap?' and another one says 'Yes it does' (in a Bathtub!!!) :D....it's a word usage gag
#49 Plaguescarred1 Oct 08, 2010 5:58:03	You might be in the Realms even if.....the kingdom is referred to as Delzoun.
#50 The_Silversword Oct 09, 2010 16:11:04	You might be in the Realms... If you find out that your longsword +2 is actually named Bob and was a Dwarven king of a long lost Dwarven empire that now rests at the bottom of the sea, and hes constantly trying to get you to go on a quest to clear the area of Sahuagin. OK you might be somewhere else but I credit Ed and the Realms with the idea of coming up with back stories for even the simplest of magic items.
#51 Plaguescarred1 Oct 12, 2010 5:26:34	You might be in the Reamls if......any place you are has a fancy named cheese or wine commun to the area.
#52 modern_iconoclast Oct 12, 2010 13:50:40	You might be in the Reamls if......any place you are has a fancy named cheese or wine commun to the area. Or you could be in France :P You might be in the Realms if the deity of the dead died.
#53 Diffan Oct 12, 2010 23:00:04	You might be in the Realms if......."you've been way-laid by foes and must protect yourself."
#54 sfdragon Oct 13, 2010 12:02:27	You might be in therealms if Show you are dancing and uriniating on Lord NAsher Alagondar's Grave
#55 Plaguescarred1 Oct 15, 2010 20:48:52	You might be in the Realms if.......the region has a touristic guide penned by a certain author named Volo.
#56 Doombringer_of_Hoar Oct 16, 2010 1:53:27	If a murderer bribes his way out of serving any punishment for his crimes, and then dies horribly under mysterious circumstances, with the sound of 3 rolls of thunder heard in the distance, you might be in the Realms, and have just witnessed the Hand of Hoar at work!
#57 sfdragon Oct 16, 2010 8:16:22	Bleesed be! you might be in the realms if you're the avatar of hoar
#58 Plaguescarred1 Oct 16, 2010 17:42:30	You might be in the Realms if....everybody want to be a Drow.
#59 Nai_Calus Oct 16, 2010 20:52:04	I keep wanting to do a fanfic involving of all things the events of the Lady Penitent trilogy, involving one of the handful of drow clergy members Corellon has in the Realms and the effect the events have on him.
#60 Plaguescarred1 Oct 16, 2010 22:06:25	You might still be in the Realms if......you just walked into Eauprofonde
#61 Plaguescarred1 Oct 16, 2010 22:09:04	You might not still be in the Realms if.....you just entered in the World Serpend Inn
#62 Nai_Calus Oct 17, 2010 14:34:55	If you have to change religions twice in five years because your god died, and so did the replacement god, you might be in the Realms.
#63 Plaguescarred1 Oct 17, 2010 20:05:44	You might still be in the Realms if......you just walked into Eauprofonde  You might still be in the Realms if you just met a wizard named Eglisorme.  Eglisorme sounds awful in my mouth even as a french canadian. Can't guess for you but...LOL You might be in the Realms if......there's a conspirary theory about the different Sun Gods and the one newly returned.
#64 Dragon9 Oct 17, 2010 22:11:15	If people complain because you say Correllon, you might be in the Realms forums.
#65 Nai_Calus Oct 17, 2010 23:09:37	*froth froth rage*
#66 The_Silversword Oct 18, 2010 0:56:46	You might still be in the Realms if......you just walked into Eauprofonde  You might still be in the Realms if you just met a wizard named Eglisorme.  Eglisorme sounds awful in my mouth even as a french canadian. Can't guess for you but...LOL You might be in the Realms if......there's a conspirary theory about the different Sun Gods and the one newly returned. Si tu habites à Montréal et que tu joues dans les Royaumes Oubliés, tu es dans les Realms. les Royaumes Oubliés? Is that what they call the Realms in French? The Kingdom Forgotten? If people complain because you say Correllon, you might be in the Realms forums. *froth froth rage* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! oh, and... If you just been captured by drow slavers and forced to fight in a arena in the Underdark, then you might be in the Realms. Well ok I guess you could be any where really, but the Underdark is so much cooler in the Realms!
#67 Plaguescarred1 Oct 18, 2010 3:32:26	You might still be in the Realms if......you just walked into Eauprofonde  You might still be in the Realms if you just met a wizard named Eglisorme.  Eglisorme sounds awful in my mouth even as a french canadian. Can't guess for you but...LOL You might be in the Realms if......there's a conspirary theory about the different Sun Gods and the one newly returned. Si tu habites à Montréal et que tu joues dans les Royaumes Oubliés, tu es dans les Realms. Hahahahahahah   On top of that, i live in Montreal !   Are you here too goldomark ?
#68 Plaguescarred1 Oct 18, 2010 3:42:29	les Royaumes Oubliés? Is that what they call the Realms in French? The Kingdom Forgotten? Ben oui Yes Silversowrd, Realm and Kingdom are meaning both Royaume in french. You might be in the Realms if.....your Elven brethens live on a hidden island.
#69 modern_iconoclast Oct 18, 2010 13:28:06	Eglisorme is Elminster in french? Must be a translation from France, sure interesting to know... Just looked over at Le Valet d'Coeur and their french books indeed mention the name. You might be in the Realms if an excentric wizard pulls the moon closer to block the sun just to have a walk outside without all that annoying sunshine.
#70 Dragon9 Oct 18, 2010 23:06:47	To Silver: And the translation would be Forgotten Kingdoms, we inverse adjectives. Damn French... have to do everythign different... ;) If you run into someone who can fire pure magical energy from her breasts, you might be in the Realms. (but it makes sense as boobs are magical!)
#71 Plaguescarred1 Oct 20, 2010 14:20:21	Tres bien, enchanté goldomar ! Cool, nice to meet you ! You might be in the Realms if.....a new town named Hemlport was built nearby by invaders.
#72 ukplayerx Oct 21, 2010 5:18:34	You might be in The Realms when your new 1st level troupe bumps into a 'retired adventurer' who looks, acts, sounds and dresses like a previous character but has a different name...
#73 sfdragon Oct 21, 2010 9:00:24	You might be in the realms if you own a bar and curse at Volo for that bad review he gave your place, and your tavern is the only bar in town.
#74 Dragon9 Oct 24, 2010 17:32:25	You might be in the Realms if you have a sense of Déjà Vue. No, that's not the Realms, it's a glitch in the Matrix.
#75 sfdragon Oct 24, 2010 23:56:41	You might be in the Realms of the madness if you bow to Lord Cyric and believe that he is the true lord of the mists of Ravenloft
#76 Plaguescarred1 Oct 25, 2010 19:10:22	You might be in the Realms if.....you met a sage named Ed of the Greenwood that appeared to know a lot about the Realms.
#77 Nai_Calus Oct 25, 2010 20:56:35	Nah, that was just GenCon.
#78 gomeztoo Oct 26, 2010 1:49:21	You may be in the Realms is half of the noblewomen you meet are really secret master thief-adventurers that rob the other half blind... and so are their daughters. Gomez I mean seriously - can't a noblewoman be, like, NOT an adventurer for a change?
#79 gomeztoo Oct 26, 2010 1:50:48	And while we are at it, you may be in the Realms if the butler did it.
#80 The_Silversword Oct 27, 2010 2:29:36	You might be in the Realms if... A bird poops on you, but then as you look up, you realize its not a bird! Its a freakin flying cat!!!!
#81 Plaguescarred1 Oct 27, 2010 3:20:37	You might be in the Realms if......you just discovered that your short sword is in fact a god polymorphed. You might be in the Realms if.....you ever heard anything about Half-Dwarves but never seen any distinct one.
#82 gomeztoo Oct 27, 2010 6:32:22	Happy to oblige: You may be in Waterdeep in the Realms when people wonder whether you really are a Masked Lord whenever your name pops up in a scandal in the Horny Unicorn broadheet.
#83 ukplayerx Oct 28, 2010 5:40:51	You may be in Waterdeep when you pass a family member of House Wands in the street and...something... appears next to them from the Far Realms
#84 chrysalis700 Oct 28, 2010 19:31:34	You may be in the realms if after dancing with an elderly gentleman all night means he gives you an artefact from the gods - just because.
#85 Plaguescarred1 Oct 29, 2010 20:18:20	You might be in the Realms if.....you just walked in Purl.
#86 sfdragon Oct 30, 2010 20:04:17	you might be in the realms, if your computer suffers a virus and you can't find your copy of storms of zehir, and you blame cyric.
#87 Dragon9 Nov 01, 2010 9:11:04	You might be in the Realms if you go searching for a delicious custardy treat and get directed to the city of Phlan instead.
#88 The_Silversword Nov 10, 2010 3:02:57	If youre trying to score some ginyak weed, you just might be in the Realms, or maybe Ohio.
#89 Plaguescarred1 Nov 10, 2010 3:34:52	You might be in the Realms if....there is like 5 Time Reckongning or so.
#90 The_Silversword Nov 13, 2010 23:36:33	If you're complaining about a 10 day work week, you could be in the Realms!
#91 Plaguescarred1 Nov 14, 2010 0:50:06	You might be in the Realms if.....you renew partnerships and celebrate alliances every 4 years.
#92 Zathris Dec 21, 2010 23:53:22	If someone is talking about sending something Shar, and you have to ask which one they mean, you might be in The Realms.