A Ritual Parody Story - Downloaded from the Wizards Community, all coding removed by Solauren

A Ritual Parody Story

Post/Author/DateTime Post
#1
machmoth
Jul 28, 2008 22:42:50 I was reading another thread on rituals, and it made me think to share the little story I've got going that plays upon the new system. The story completely parodies the new rules as the players find and befriend a living book and learn the truth of magic.

Backstory:

Years ago, magic was wild and free in nature. Mostly shamanistic, it was an integral part of society and its well-being. But, things changed as society grew more commercial. Wizards, who largely sat at home in their parents' basements smoking pipes and discussing abstract concepts about the universe rather than getting out and finding real jobs, decided that they stood to make themselves a great deal of money and fame using what they'd learned by sitting around and playing with their implements all day.

And so, wizards far and wide gathered together to form a union known as the RIAA (Ritual Institute Association of Arcana). They then sat in small rooms and recorded Ritual Books, which they sold to the world at a premium cost. To ensure that people did not simply copy these books for free, they were designed using DRM (Dweomer Rights Management) in such a way that special materials only they could provide were required to reproduce the books. They also required materials to actually use the spell, ensuring that they made residuum off of every spell cast. The true secrets of magic became a carefully guarded secret.

That is until our players discover the book that was never intended to exist. A living, albeit somewhat tempermental, book with the ability to freely copy and store rituals quite literally walks into their lives. Though lacking the ability to control their hard-cover cohort, the players befriend the animal-like almanac, and it takes quite a liking to following them. Upon discovering this, the RIAA brands the band as pirates and begins hunting them down, fearful of the players' ability to send the entire system crashing down.

The Adventure Begins... wrote:
#2
unrealgeek
Jul 28, 2008 23:53:49 Oh gods, yes. Very Adventuring For Dummies style. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502287/1/Adventuring_For_Dummies
Very nice.
#3
machmoth
Jul 29, 2008 0:24:32 =The Book=
The Book is as described in the opening text. The typical first question is about The Book's propulsion. It sits upright, spine to the back, with a pair of tiny, worn, leather, traveling boots, unlaced (it has no hands to rectify that situation) but managing not to trip it, beneath its tail (more book anatomy speak). They don't seem connected or filled in any way, but they manage to support and balance The Book, as well as provide it with clumsy, noisy movement. Surprisingly, it can maintain a full six-square speed waddle, given a few seconds to gather momentum, and leap several times its own height.

It does not typically open itself unless presenting information, which it does entirely on its own whim. Anyone attempting to peek into its pages while they flap slightly, as if it were breathing (though it has no need for air), would find only jumbles of indecipherable runes. It also opens to eat, which it does often and with great ferocity, flapping its crimson bookmarker of a tongue in the process. It can eat anything small enough to fit between its covers, and when it does so, consumes it whole. It is not particular with its diet or schedule, randomly consuming rocks, trinkets, small birds or animals, and any book lower than it in reading level a few times a day. What happens to these things is anyone's guess, but they are not retrievable once consumed.

When it comes in contact with a book containing a ritual, The Book copies the ritual into itself and is able to present the pages to others. Getting it to do so is another matter entirely. Its animal personality and flakey obedience leaves it as a wildcard in most situations. No one can even be sure what rituals The Book already knows. It will become more cooperative with the players as their bond grows, but will always retain its own independance.

In game terms, The Book is a flavor and a plot device. Any player wanting to have a reliable source of ritual spells is advised to keep his or her own ritual books (and by keep, I mean keep them out of reach of The Book's hungry maw). It is available to the DM to instigate plots and stir up trouble, not to mention giving the players a constant nemesis in the bounty hunters or law enforcement that might be after them for having it. While it makes an annoyance of itself, it can hopefully endear itself with its new masters as well.

Your conversation is certainly very interesting, and if assassins had any respect for just how interesting it was, this one would not have launched a poisoned crossbow bolt at you just now. At that moment, the Book leaps several feet up and snaps the projectile out from the air, consuming it whole. You like to think it was looking out for your better interest, but as you've seen it do the same to small birds, it's safe to say it was thinking of its hunger. Perhaps you should take this time to consider your own survival as well.

#4
machmoth
Jul 29, 2008 0:30:47
Very Adventuring For Dummies style. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502287/1/Adventuring_For_Dummies
Very nice.

Haha, yes! Good stuff. Given the chance to take a project less than serious, that tends to be my writing style, and there's a wealth of inspiration in between these digital covers. Good stuff.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 machmoth Jul 28, 2008 22:42:50	I was reading another thread on rituals, and it made me think to share the little story I've got going that plays upon the new system. The story completely parodies the new rules as the players find and befriend a living book and learn the truth of magic. Backstory: Years ago, magic was wild and free in nature. Mostly shamanistic, it was an integral part of society and its well-being. But, things changed as society grew more commercial. Wizards, who largely sat at home in their parents' basements smoking pipes and discussing abstract concepts about the universe rather than getting out and finding real jobs, decided that they stood to make themselves a great deal of money and fame using what they'd learned by sitting around and playing with their implements all day. And so, wizards far and wide gathered together to form a union known as the RIAA (Ritual Institute Association of Arcana). They then sat in small rooms and recorded Ritual Books, which they sold to the world at a premium cost. To ensure that people did not simply copy these books for free, they were designed using DRM (Dweomer Rights Management) in such a way that special materials only they could provide were required to reproduce the books. They also required materials to actually use the spell, ensuring that they made residuum off of every spell cast. The true secrets of magic became a carefully guarded secret. That is until our players discover the book that was never intended to exist. A living, albeit somewhat tempermental, book with the ability to freely copy and store rituals quite literally walks into their lives. Though lacking the ability to control their hard-cover cohort, the players befriend the animal-like almanac, and it takes quite a liking to following them. Upon discovering this, the RIAA brands the band as pirates and begins hunting them down, fearful of the players' ability to send the entire system crashing down. The Adventure Begins... wrote:
#2 unrealgeek Jul 28, 2008 23:53:49	Oh gods, yes. Very Adventuring For Dummies style. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502287/1/Adventuring_For_Dummies Very nice.
#3 machmoth Jul 29, 2008 0:24:32	=The Book= The Book is as described in the opening text. The typical first question is about The Book's propulsion. It sits upright, spine to the back, with a pair of tiny, worn, leather, traveling boots, unlaced (it has no hands to rectify that situation) but managing not to trip it, beneath its tail (more book anatomy speak). They don't seem connected or filled in any way, but they manage to support and balance The Book, as well as provide it with clumsy, noisy movement. Surprisingly, it can maintain a full six-square speed waddle, given a few seconds to gather momentum, and leap several times its own height. It does not typically open itself unless presenting information, which it does entirely on its own whim. Anyone attempting to peek into its pages while they flap slightly, as if it were breathing (though it has no need for air), would find only jumbles of indecipherable runes. It also opens to eat, which it does often and with great ferocity, flapping its crimson bookmarker of a tongue in the process. It can eat anything small enough to fit between its covers, and when it does so, consumes it whole. It is not particular with its diet or schedule, randomly consuming rocks, trinkets, small birds or animals, and any book lower than it in reading level a few times a day. What happens to these things is anyone's guess, but they are not retrievable once consumed. When it comes in contact with a book containing a ritual, The Book copies the ritual into itself and is able to present the pages to others. Getting it to do so is another matter entirely. Its animal personality and flakey obedience leaves it as a wildcard in most situations. No one can even be sure what rituals The Book already knows. It will become more cooperative with the players as their bond grows, but will always retain its own independance. In game terms, The Book is a flavor and a plot device. Any player wanting to have a reliable source of ritual spells is advised to keep his or her own ritual books (and by keep, I mean keep them out of reach of The Book's hungry maw). It is available to the DM to instigate plots and stir up trouble, not to mention giving the players a constant nemesis in the bounty hunters or law enforcement that might be after them for having it. While it makes an annoyance of itself, it can hopefully endear itself with its new masters as well. Your conversation is certainly very interesting, and if assassins had any respect for just how interesting it was, this one would not have launched a poisoned crossbow bolt at you just now. At that moment, the Book leaps several feet up and snaps the projectile out from the air, consuming it whole. You like to think it was looking out for your better interest, but as you've seen it do the same to small birds, it's safe to say it was thinking of its hunger. Perhaps you should take this time to consider your own survival as well.
#4 machmoth Jul 29, 2008 0:30:47	Very Adventuring For Dummies style. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502287/1/Adventuring_For_Dummies Very nice. Haha, yes! Good stuff. Given the chance to take a project less than serious, that tends to be my writing style, and there's a wealth of inspiration in between these digital covers. Good stuff.