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| #1zergrusherAug 12, 2009 23:50:14 | here's another race that i'm going to use in an upcoming campaign where the players are ship wrecked on an unexplored island and these are the inhabitants, tell me what you think, Melorin The people of the water who fume with the mirth of Melora RACIAL TRAITS Average Height: 5'4" - 6'0 Average Weight: 130 - 165 Ability Score: +2 Cha +2 Dex Size: Medium Speed: 6 Vision: Normal Languages: Common, Primordial Skill Bonus: +2 Athletics +2 Nature Gills: You can breathe underwater Slick Skinned: bloodied creatures have -1 penaly to attack roll when attacking you Melorin Weapon Proficientcy: You gain proficientcy with spears Aquatic Setting: You are adept to the water, so you are consider an aquatic creature for the purpose of effects that relate to creature origin. Slick Slick Shift: You can use Slick Shift as an encounter power Slick Shift Melorin Racial Power You shift past your opponent, untouched Encounter Move Action Personal Requirement: you are adjacent to an enemy Effect: you can shift to any other square adjacent to that enemy. Creatures of the water, Melorins are generally Happy Mirthfiul people, that live either under or on the water, whether it be swamps, rivers, lakes, or oceans. Merchants and craftsman by trade, Melorans are enginuitive, and crafty, tinkering with machinery, that allows them to take refuge underwater. Play a Melorin iif you want… to be adpet to the water. to be an enginuive adventurer, curious of the world outside the water. to be a member of a race that favors the Shawman, Bard, and Druid class Physical Qualities Melorins are just short of human height, and have wiry builds. Melorins have slick, leathery skin with scales that cover their back, continuing to their forarms, thighs, necks and around the edge of their faces. Their hands and feet are webbed with little claws at the tips. Feathers gills decorate the lower necks of all Melorins, these gills vary in color ranging from yellow, to light pinks, to deep vibrant oranges. A typical Melorin skin and scales can be shades of red, orange, aqua greens, and peaches. Their hair is naturally short and spikey, growing in all directions, coming in shades of oranges, red and yellows. Melorins live as long as humans, reaching adulthood around 16. Melorin Characteristics: Curious, crafty, ingenuitive, tricky, sly, inventive, mirthful, free-spirited Male Names: Aric, Bait, Brass, Dart, Drake, Graken, Kain, Lute, Mirr, Prave, Rave Female Names: Arial, Ava, Carp, Darby, Ellis, Fawn, Harp, Lotis, Pran, Scisilie, Toa Paragon Paths Deep Sea Fiend "With readied teeth and claws I will devouer you" Prerequisite: Melorin Brought up on the botton of the ocean, you have the lookings of a primal beast, with the bruteality to match. Unlike the free-spirited, mirthful folk of the high pools, you are made for the battlefield. You're body has evolved to your surroundings, you have sharp teeth, claws, and an anglerfish-like light extending from your forehead. Your skin is dark, allowing you to conceal yourself Deep Sea Fiend Path Features Brutal Action (11th level): When you spend an action point to make an attack, make another basic melee attack. Deep Sea Origin (11th level): You have a +2 endurance racial bonus, and increase your racial bonus to Athletics to +4, increase your swim speed by 2, and ignore difficult terrain while under water. Shifting Hunter (16th level): When you hit a target with a power after using your Slick Shift racial power, you knock the target prone. Deep Sea Fiend Powers Angler Lantern Deep Sea Fiend Utility 11 Giving off a green glow you illuminate the area around you. Encounter Minor Action Personal Effect: You give off a bright light with a radius of 4, lasts until the end of the encounter. Shark Bite Deep Sea Fiend Attack 12 Unhinging your jaw you take a bite out of your enemy leaving him bleeding. Encounter Standard Action Melee 1 Target: One creature Attack: Strength, Constitution, or Dextarity + 4 vs. AC Level 21:S trength, Constitution, or Dextarity + 6 vs. AC Hit: 2d6 + Strength, Constitution, or Dextarity modifier Effect: until the end of your next turn treat target as if the creature was bloodied. Special: When you gain this power, choose Strength, Constitution, or Dextarity as the ability you use when making your attack, and damage rolls. Stalk the Prey Deep Sea Fiend Attack 20 Daily ✦ Weapon Standard Action Melee 1 Target: one creature Attack: dextarity + 2 vs. Reflex Hit: 3[W] + Dextarity modifier damage, ongoing 5 damage and is dazed (save ends) Effect: Before or after the attack, you shift a number of squares equal to your Charisma modifier +2. |
| #2tcg_researcherAug 13, 2009 0:43:32 | Spellcheck and grammar check would help...but we're here to critique the race.Gills: You can breathe underwater Free Water Breathing ritual, but since it only affects the Melorin I don't imagine it'll see much use. Helpful for underwater scouting, flanking, possibly cover. Slick Skinned: bloodied creatures have -1 penaly to attack roll when attacking you Nice synergy with the paragon path. More later. Melorin Weapon Proficientcy: You gain proficientcy with spears Pick one, maybe two, simple or military weapons. Not an entire group. PCs should not be getting Superior Weapon Proficiency for free. Slick Shift Melorin Racial Power You're missing an "f" there, but otherwise it seems pretty balanced. Ranged classes might find it pretty useless, though. to be a member of a race that favors the Shawman, Bard, and Druid class Your stats are +Dex/+Cha, which benefits the Ranger, Rogue, and Sorcerer classes. Druids are a Wis/con/dex class and Shamans are a Wis/con/int class, so Cha is pretty useless to both. Bards are a Cha/con/int/wis class. Deep Sea Fiend Why only a melee attack? Deep Sea Origin (11th level): You have a +2 endurance racial bonus, Fine. Surprising they didn't already have a swim speed, since they can breathe water. Shifting Hunter (16th level): When you hit a target with a power Define "after". Deep Sea Fiend This is strictly worse than the wizard cantrip, light. I'm sure you can think of a better level 11 power. Also, traditionally level 11 powers are attack powers, while level 12 powers are utility powers. Shark Bite Deep Sea Fiend Attack 12 Why are the attack options Str, Con, and Dex when the race only has a Dex bonus? I don't see any builds using Con to attack, though Str and Dex are viable. "Flensing" on a hit is pretty weird (though I see what you're going for flavor-wise). Stalk the Prey Deep Sea Fiend Attack 20 Again...was this paragon path designed specifically for the Artful Dodger rogue? |