Also, while it is conceptually supposed to be a racial paragon path, nothing about the mechanics actually require or even allude to any of the race's mechanics, and the major connection is one of flavor. Theoretically, one could simply remove the racial prerequisite and just use it as another Warlord paragon path.
Should you decide to read it, the only thing you really need to know about the race in order to totally understand the fluff is that: (A) they are capable of space travel and in one of my homebrew settings lived on the moon for a long time after deciding to escape the warring nations on the planet, and (B) they have highly developed eyes resistant to damage and are perfectly capable of looking at the sun (or the eclipse) without any negative effect on their vision.
This thread was cross-posted here.
ECLIPSER
"In battle, we will be as the eclipse, so brilliant that our foes will be unable to turn away, and by the time they realize the damage, it will already be too late."
Prerequisites: Stranger, Warlord
Fluff
After centuries upon centuries of reclusion on the moon, when the time came for the Strangers to once again draw their swords and don their armor, they had no military leaders to command them, and so their army waited for somebody to step up. Despite their study of wars past, it was not their historians who stepped up. Despite their foresight and ability to lead, it was not their diviners or philosophers who stepped up. Despite their gift for organization and efficiency, it was not their scientists or mathematicians who stepped up. No, the ones who stepped up were their astronomers.
In their first battle, despite being outnumbered and having no practical experience, the astronomers were eerily confidant of their victory. The battle began, and when it was all but certain that the first Stranger army would be defeated, a dazzling event took place. The moon moved across the sky above and blocked out the sun, plunging the battlefield into twilight. The enemies could not help but look up at the spectacle, unwittingly damaging their vision. The Strangers, however, were able to view the event with complete impunity and use it to their ultimate advantage. With the enemy forces unable to properly defend themselves during and immediately following the eclipse, the Strangers were easily able to secured their victory.
You follow in the footsteps of these astronomers. Some may not understand your methods, but you know that you need only to look up at the sky for tactical inspiration. The heavenly dance of the sun, moon, and stars will guide you and your comrades to victory, and you hold a special place in the heart of your strategy for the magnificent power of the eclipse.
In their first battle, despite being outnumbered and having no practical experience, the astronomers were eerily confidant of their victory. The battle began, and when it was all but certain that the first Stranger army would be defeated, a dazzling event took place. The moon moved across the sky above and blocked out the sun, plunging the battlefield into twilight. The enemies could not help but look up at the spectacle, unwittingly damaging their vision. The Strangers, however, were able to view the event with complete impunity and use it to their ultimate advantage. With the enemy forces unable to properly defend themselves during and immediately following the eclipse, the Strangers were easily able to secured their victory.
You follow in the footsteps of these astronomers. Some may not understand your methods, but you know that you need only to look up at the sky for tactical inspiration. The heavenly dance of the sun, moon, and stars will guide you and your comrades to victory, and you hold a special place in the heart of your strategy for the magnificent power of the eclipse.
ECLIPSER PATH FEATURES:
Orbital Action (11th level): Whenever you spend an action point to take an extra action, you also gain an extra move action.
Universal Penumbra (11th level): Your enemies grant cover against ranged attacks to you and your allies who can see and hear you.
Allied Eclipse (16th level): Whenever you are positioned such that you are grant an ally cover against an enemy's ranged attacks, you can choose to grant that ally superior cover against that enemy as a free action. Whenever you are positioned such that an ally grants you cover against an enemy's ranged attacks, that ally can choose to grant you superior cover against that enemy as a free action.
The 11th level abilities are fine, but the 16th level one feels too similar to the previous, and would fit more as a feat upgrade than an ability in its own right. After all, not all enemies have ranged attacks, and any halfway intelligent ranged enemy will at least try to maneuver to a place where it has a clear shot. Since when do Warlords (who aren't using polearms) stand directly behind their allies anyway?
Occulting Transit (Eclipser Attack 11)
One celestial body appears to move across another, thereby hiding it from the earth's view.
Encounter • Martial, Weapon
Standard Action Melee weapon
Target: One creature
Attack: Strength vs. AC
Hit: 2[W] + Strength modifier damage, and one ally to which you are granting cover or superior cover against the target's ranged attacks becomes invisible to the target until the beginning of your next turn or until the ally attacks the target.
For this and the 20th level power, I feel the "ranged attacks" clause causes more confusion than it solves. (Can allies grant cover from melee attacks anyway?) Just "against the target" should make it clear that the power works all the time, not just against ranged enemies.
Fun with feylock and ranged rogue...
Syzygy (Eclipser Utility 12)
The alignments of heavenly bodies have been known to trigger catastrophic destruction from the stars.
Daily • Martial, Stance
Minor Action Personal
Effect: Until the stance ends, your allies gain a power bonus to damage rolls against enemies that you flank equal to the highest of your Intelligence modifier, Wisdom modifier, or Charisma modifier.
Gibberish power name is gibberish. Otherwise, it looks good.
Brilliant Corona (Eclipser Attack 20)
The sun and moon align, the earth cannot help but to be captivated by the resulting ring of dazzling light.
Daily • Martial, Weapon
Standard Action Melee weapon
Special: Before the attack, you and one ally who can see and hear you can each shift 2 squares as a free action.
Target: One creature
Attack: Strength vs. AC
Hit: 3[W] + Strength modifier damage.
Miss: Half damage.
Effect: After your attack, one ally who can see and hear you to which you are granting cover or superior cover against the target's ranged attacks can shift 2 squares and make a basic attack against the target as a free action. The ally has combat advantage against the target for this attack, and if the ally hits, the target is blinded until the end of your next turn.
Why doesn't this power deal radiant damage? It would seem to fit the fluff. Good Warlord power, but the situational clause makes it hard to pull off even with the Special line shoehorned in to accommodate it, especially because the allies who could benefit most from the shift might be in a threatened or isolated position. Why not just let any ally (who can see/hear you) perform the attack?
The 11th level abilities are fine, but the 16th level one feels too similar to the previous, and would fit more as a feat upgrade than an ability in its own right.
I've never seen feat upgrades to paragon path abilities.
After all, not all enemies have ranged attacks, and any halfway intelligent ranged enemy will at least try to maneuver to a place where it has a clear shot.
I recognize that the usage is very niche, but I felt like it was a good mix of using mechanics flavorfully. Also, it bears mentioning that the usage is not limited (or even necessarily primarily) to improving ally defenses against ranged attacks. For example, used on an ally's turn, it can allow that ally to make a stealth check, though I've just realized that I would specifically have to say that this can allow a hidden character to become or remain hidden. You're probably still right though that the ability may still be underpowered anyways for a 16th level paragon path feature. What would you suggest to improve it? Or could I include this benefit into the 11th level Universal Penumbra and just come up with another 16th level feature entirely?
Since when do Warlords (who aren't using polearms) stand directly behind their allies anyway?
Not necessarily directly behind. I just figured if the Warlord could provide the benefit to their allies, I didn't see why the reverse couldn't be true. That part could be removed if necessary. Again, I could remove the second half of it, put the first half into the 11th level feature, and come up with a different 16th level feature entirely...
For this and the 20th level power, I feel the "ranged attacks" clause causes more confusion than it solves. (Can allies grant cover from melee attacks anyway?) Just "against the target" should make it clear that the power works all the time, not just against ranged enemies.
Yes, maybe I could have explained this more clearly. The intent was that these powers work only when the warlord is between an enemy and an ally. I looked for a mechanical phrase to accurately express that non-arbitrarily, and providing cover against an enemy's ranged attack was the only thing I found that would fit. The enemy does not need to actually have a ranged attack. Just if it did, the Warlord would be providing cover to an ally against them and would thus be between the enemy and ally. Is there a better way to word this that I have overlooked?
Also, no, you cannot provide your enemies with cover versus an enemy's melee, close, or area attacks. That's why I did specify ranged. Also, providing an ally cover against ranged attacks is not the same as just providing an ally cover. I don't think one creature can even provide another with cover unless it's specifically against ranged attacks.
Gibberish power name is gibberish.
That's actually a legitimate astronomical term.
Why doesn't this power deal radiant damage? It would seem to fit the fluff.
Because it's a martial power. It's not literally light damage causing the blindness. It's just metaphorical.
Good Warlord power, but the situational clause makes it hard to pull off even with the Special line shoehorned in to accommodate it, especially because the allies who could benefit most from the shift might be in a threatened or isolated position.
How so? Without the special added movement, I can see how it would be difficult to pull off, but because of its addition, I don't see any problem.
Why not just let any ally (who can see/hear you) perform the attack?
Wouldn't at all fit the flavor of the power for just any ally to make the attack. Only makes sense if it's an ally that is standing to the opposite side of the warlord as an enemy.
Different 16th level paragon path feature: I dunno. If I was any good at this kind of stuff, I'd be writing my own instead of ripping others' apart. Just don't make it dependent on having an ally stand behind the Warlord, because you already have 2 powers that do that.
The basic intent of the level 20 power is "Ally shifts 2 squares to position behind the Warlord, then shifts out from behind the Warlord and makes a basic attack", no? Seems like a lot of rules text for not a lot of interesting decision-making. (Also, the way it's worded now, the two shifting allies don't have to be the same, though that was probably intended.)
Feat upgrades to paragon path features: If there are feat upgrades to basic class features, why not?
. . . Because base classes and Paragon Paths aren't the same thing?
Really, while there are plenty of feats out there to improve base class features, there's not a single one that improves a paragon path feature. It would simply be much too niche and specialized.
Just don't make it dependent on having an ally stand behind the Warlord, because you already have 2 powers that do that.
That's kind of the point of the class though. It's entirely built upon the concept of cosmic alignment and so its features are based around the alignment of combatants on the battlefield.
The basic intent of the level 20 power is "Ally shifts 2 squares to position behind the Warlord, then shifts out from behind the Warlord and makes a basic attack", no?
Basic intent, possibly, but I purposely decided not to restrict it to that because (A) it'd be too specific and restrictive and (B) it would result in lots of way too complicated text.
Seems like a lot of rules text for not a lot of interesting decision-making.
How so?
(Also, the way it's worded now, the two shifting allies don't have to be the same, though that was probably intended.)
Yup, I left that open purposefully. It would have been to specific, complex, and restrictive otherwise.
Syzygy, which involves flanking, uses you -> enemy -> ally.
Occulting Transit, half of Allied Eclipse, and Brilliant Corona all use ally -> you -> enemy. While it's flavorful and intuitive for Occulting Transit, it seems somewhat repetitive for the others. I'm sure there are plenty of other interesting alignments to explore without excessive rules text.
You seem to have a big dislike for Brilliant Corona, but I can't think of another way to really make that idea work well. I kind of really thought the concept fit really well with the fluff and would be a good level 20 capstone, so I actually made it first before creating Occulting Transit, meaning Occulting Transit would actually be the redundant one. :P
Allied Eclipse (16th level): Whenever you are positioned such that you are grant an ally cover against an enemy's ranged attacks, you can choose to grant that ally superior cover against that enemy as a free action. Whenever you are positioned such that an ally grants you cover against an enemy's ranged attacks, that ally can choose to grant you superior cover against that enemy as a free action.
According to the PHB p.280, this does nothing because allies never grant you cover and you never grant allies cover. Of course this could easily be fixed with an additional PP feature (or already is and I missed something?).
Beside this, I don't have much to say, maybe look over the wording on the Universal Penumbra (11th level) feature, I find it quite odd, but it might be just me.
I would probably word it like this:
When an enemy is standing between you and an attacker, that enemy grants you cover against ranged attacks from that attacker. Allies who can see and hear you also benefit from this feature.
According to the PHB p.280, this does nothing because allies never grant you cover and you never grant allies cover.
I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm looking at the exact same PHB page 280 and reading the following:
- Creatures and Cover: When you make a ranged attack against an enemy and other enemies are in the way, your target has cover. Your allies never grant cover to your enemies, and neither allies not enemies grant cover against melee, close, or area attacks.
Beside this, I don't have much to say, maybe look over the wording on the Universal Penumbra (11th level) feature, I find it quite odd, but it might be just me.
It's just an exception to the above quoted general rules about creature providing cover versus ranged attacks. Normally, a creature's allies never grant cover to its enemies. Universal Penumbra makes that no longer true for your enemies.
I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm looking at the exact same PHB page 280 and reading the following:
I re-read it and I think I misunderstood something, but anyways, it's not quite clear if you or your allies can grant cover to each others (it says so for enemies, so I think it does the same for the PCs -even tough it's quite unclear) so I guess it works, sorry for calling that out
As for the other feature, it just sounded weird to me, but as long as you understand yourself, I guess it should work out fine.