Racial Traits
Average Height: 5'5" to 6'5"
Average Weight: 130 to 210
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Ability Scores: +2 Dexterity, +2 Charisma
Size: Medium
Speed: 7
Vision: lowlight
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Languages: Common, Numa
Skill Bonuses: +2 Nature, +2 Perception
Numa Ranged: Numa gain one Weapon proficiency with any type of thrown weapon.
Charged Throw Numa Racial Power
The Numa have developed a great deal of ability in throwing weapons.
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Encounter ✦ Weapon
Minor Action Ranged per weapon
Target: one enemy
Requirement: Must be wielding a thrown weapon.
Attack: Strength + 2 (heavy thrown) or Dexterity + 2 (light thrown) VS AC
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Hit: 1[W] + 1d6 (type)
Type is set at character generation. Pick one, Fire, Ice, Force, or Lightning.
Play a Numa if you want...
• you like an unusual challenge.
Physical Qualities:
Size medium.
Physically they follow the appearance of Elves or Humans, in hair and eye color. Their stature however is oddly mixed. Males and females all range between 5 foot and 6 foot tall. There is no difference in heights when comparing males to females.
Playing a Numa
Due to their lack of contact with outside world, the Numa are viewed with suspicion.
500 years ago, a group of adventurers cleared out a stone fortress. They adventured on and later when their days of adventure wained, returned to the fortress and the servants they had sent there. The three that remained were Melroth, the wizard, Sharna, the warlock, and Andalas, the cleric. Melroth and Sharna were enchanters, they spent many happy hours secluded in their labs crafting minor magical items to sell to wandering adventurers and to merchants along the trade routes. On one such mission to sell their wares, Sharna found a tome on crafting a special type of golem. She gleefully brought the tome home and spent many hours pouring over the tome. She brought in Melroth and Andalas on the actual crafting of the golem. Andalas, a sculptor, was required since he could see the shape of the golem. The group made all the preparations and settled in for the night.
A young servant, tasked with cleaning out spider webs in the keep halls, noted a rather large spider duck under one of the doors on the floor she was working. She chased the spider into one of the rooms, she was not supposed to be in, the enchanting room. She killed it and cleaned up the mess. Little did she know that her minor entrance had changed two of the runes. The spider had damaged the magical circle by crossing it.
The next morning the three spell casters went in and started the ritual. The spell started to get out of hand almost at once. The three were quickly stunned and then killed as the explosion of magic tore out of the magical circle. The energy effected the servants and the trees at the edge of the fortress perimeter. The human and elven servants were changed, the trees were changed into a wall of wood very thick and very strong. The Numa as they started to call themselves were only able to escape after 300 years. Their numbers are very small, only about 400 exist the numbers do balance a little heavy for females.
The power of the magical explosion developed an affinity to certain magical energies. The ability is not powerful enough to shape into a directed attack, but powerful enough to charge a thrown weapon for a quick attack.
Numa Characteristics: slender and graceful
Male Names: varied, usually short usually no less than 3 by no more than 10 letters
Female Names: same as males
Precise Throw Numa Racial Power
The Numa have deveolped a great deal of precision when throwing.
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Encounter ✦ Weapon
Action Ranged per weapon
Target: one enemy
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Hit: +2 dmg
Effect: none
Special: Numa gets a +2 to attack with a ranged weapon.
Should be written as:
Precise Throw Numa Racial Power
The Numa have deveolped a great deal of precision when throwing.
_______________________
Encounter ✦ Weapon
Action Ranged per weapon
Target: one enemy
_______________________
Hit: +2 dmg
Effect: none
Special: Numa gets a +2 to attack with a ranged weapon.
This is both terribly written and a terrible idea to begin with.
Terribly written because:
A) What kind of action is this? Minor? Move? Standard? Free? Interrupt?
B) Is there an attack? Is it DEX vs AC? STR vs AC? DEX vs Reflex? STR vs Reflex? If there's a hit line, there must be an attack. Otherwise, this is an effect. What's the attack?
C) What's the damage? All I see is +2 damage? This power only does 2 damage? What +2? [W]+2? DEX+2? [W]+DEX+2? STR+2? [W]+STR+2? I have no idea how much damage this power does.
D) Your special line shouldn't be a special line. It should be part of the attack line as an ability score +2 vs a defense.
Terrible idea because:
1) It pigeon-holes this race into only being members of weapon-using class. More specifically, ranged weapon-using classes. This is completely contrary to the 4E player race design philosophies.
2) This is seriously all your race gets? This is ridiculously underpowered.
If you want your race to have a reputation for being good with ranged weapon, just give them some free weapon proficiencies for them. Say they gain free proficiency with, I don't know, Shurikens or something. Then maybe give them a racial feat that gives bonus damage for some specific thrown weapons or something.
After that, give them some actual racial features...
Its a work in progress.
As a free action, Precise Throw is broken to the ends of the earth. Consider: 1) It can be used off-turn. 2) With Demigod, it can be used forever. You can get an unlimited number of free attacks that you don't even have to use on your turn. With this, you can kill Orcus, Tiamat, and Vecna in one round, before they can act even if you lose initiative. It needs to be at least a minor action.
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Ability Scores: +2 Dexterity, +2 Charisma
Size: Medium
Speed: 7
Vision: lowlight
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Languages: Common, Numa
Skill Bonuses: +2 Nature, +2 Perception, +2 Insight
>snip<
Numa Resiliance: Numa get a +5 bonus versus saves for magical effects.
As this is at the moment, i think you are overpowered; you have low-light vision, speed 7 and bonuses to three skills, these three traits are all above the baseline and so need to be balanced out elsewhere in the race; you've started that by having a slightly restricted racial power. But then Numa Resillience blows that out of the water, you need to choose a keyword for that ability, either +5 bonus to saves against ongoing damage of a specific type, or +5 bonus to save against a specific effect (such as illusion, charm, fear etc).
I'm not 100% about the three skills either, as far as im aware there are no official classes with 3 skill bonuses, that's not to say it's broken though, just more awkward to balance out, a way around that may be to keep two of your bonuses and turn the third into a racial ability that gives a situational bonus, rather than a flat bonus. For example +2 to perception for listen checks, or +2 to insight when reading someones body language.
....wait....
Skill Bonuses: +2 Nature, +2 Perception, +2 Insight
Most races have a bonus to two skills. While it's not necessary, I'd highly recommend sticking to the basic race design structure for the sake of simplicity. What did you have before? It was a bonus to two skills, right? Or else I would have said something. I'd say go back to that.
Numa Resiliance: Numa get a +5 bonus versus saves for magical effects.
There's no such think as a "magical effect." This ability does nothing.
What there are are Charm effects, Conjuration effects, Fear effects, Illusion effects, Poison effects, Polymorph effects, Sleep effects, Teleportation effects, and more. See PHB page 55.
Precise Throw Numa Racial Power
The Numa have deveolped a great deal of precision when throwing.
_______________________
Encounter ✦ Weapon
Minor Action Ranged per weapon
Target: one enemy
Attack: Strength + 2 (heavy thrown) or Dexterity + 2 (light thrown)
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Hit: 1[W] + Strength + 2 (heavy thrown) or 1[W] + Dexterity + 2 (light thrown)
Effect: none
Special: Numa gets a +2 to attack with a ranged weapon.
This has gotten better but not by very much.
A) STR or DEX vs what? Is the attack vs AC? vs Reflex? I'm guessing vs AC but it should say so.
B) The special line indicates that a throws weapon now gets +4 to hit with this power? That's completely unnecessary and very powerful. Also, your attack line only gives entries for light thrown and heavy thrown weapons, so there's no indication that this power can be used with anything but. This special line should be removed entirely, and the power should have "Requirement: You must be wielding a thrown weapon." above the attack line.
C) If there's no effect, you don't need to write "Effect: none." Just leave that part out.
D) Most importantly, this power is still a terrible idea from a design philosophy point of view. The power is completely useless to characters not specializing in ranged weapons, especially now that you put the Weapon tag on it such that all Numa characters must keep a magic thrown weapon up to par or have their racial power be useless. This pretty much pigeon-holes Numas into being either Rangers or Rogues. This is bad.
I can't even tell if the race is overpowered or underpowered anymore because it's so badly designed.
Does this race not have a shtick other that being good with thrown weapons? Because Elves have the shtick of being good with bows and Dwarfs have the shtick of being really good with hammers, but they also have other things about them that are interesting...
EDIT:
Without the adjustment, all armors gain a -1 penalty to load, and melee weapons have a -1 penalty to attack, bow type weapons have the -1 penalty as well.
I just noticed this. This is terrible. It's another example of creating a race that you're trying to restrict to playing only one type of character. It should definitely be removed.
The adjustments to weapons and armor are a role playing aspect that I want to keep.
The weapon proficiency is in to make any class available as they are trained from birth to use a thrown weapon. This is a family trait, what weapon they use.
There are feats in the back ground that anyone will be able to take, these will help out the Numa racial ability, and anyone else using certain types of weapons.
From your smidgin of flavor text I gather that this race is some kind of felinoid? Shouldn't there be racial features that reflect that?
The penalty on weapons and armor is due to balance. Thinking of making a feat for them that allows them to ignore the penalty. But think about trying to get your hand in a glove built for someone with only three fingers. Its going to bind up your little finger and cause you problems. A sword or bow balanced for someone with only three fingers is going to be balanced differently. Looking at it both ways a Numa putting on a glove with 4 fingers is going to mess with any bow the use. Extra flap of material hanging, possibly getting caught in the string when you fire it.
Its not a felinoid. They look fairly human/elven.
The penalty on weapons and armor is due to balance. Thinking of making a feat for them that allows them to ignore the penalty. But think about trying to get your hand in a glove built for someone with only three fingers. Its going to bind up your little finger and cause you problems. A sword or bow balanced for someone with only three fingers is going to be balanced differently. Looking at it both ways a Numa putting on a glove with 4 fingers is going to mess with any bow the use. Extra flap of material hanging, possibly getting caught in the string when you fire it.
While i can see where you are coming from; the idea of a race penalty just has no place in 4th ed. Besides that there are two other points to take into consideration that argue against your racial penalty:
1) Dragonborn also have 3 fingers and have no such problems with equipment.
2) Equipment can be reshaped and resized quite easily with the Enchant Magic Item ritual.
Its not a felinoid. They look fairly human/elven.
Not a felinoid? Then this doesn't make much sense:
There were two mages in the ancient forest. They built many great items in their time. The last creation they were able to make was their greatest failure. They were attampting to cross a feline with a human. The effect failed in the basis that their towers were destroyed. The only survivors were the few Numa that were created before the magic went wild. Now they Numa stay away from most other races, depending on themselves. Numa adventurers are RARE.
Even if it doesn't look like a cat, which is fine, why wouldn't a cross between a feline and a human have at least some feline attributes?
The penalty on weapons and armor is due to balance. Thinking of making a feat for them that allows them to ignore the penalty. But think about trying to get your hand in a glove built for someone with only three fingers. Its going to bind up your little finger and cause you problems. A sword or bow balanced for someone with only three fingers is going to be balanced differently. Looking at it both ways a Numa putting on a glove with 4 fingers is going to mess with any bow the use. Extra flap of material hanging, possibly getting caught in the string when you fire it.
It's not a balancing factor - the race is underpowered to start with and you're giving it a pointless and arbitrary limitation. Think about a human trying to fit into a set of plate armor made for a dwarf - a little more problematic than what you're describing, but it doesn't warrant a mechanical penalty in the game. It's all fluff, and should be treated as such. (For that matter, most archers gloves only have two fingers anyways... ).
Also, to add on Fragsie's points:
3) Crafting is entirely relegated to fluff in 4E. Even if nonmagical armor requires modification, a professional adventurer is most likely going to have the skills required - or know someone who does. If you want to use DM's fiat to penalize picking something up off the ground and using it right away, that's your discretion, but there's no reason to build it into the race.
I do not see why a cross between a human and feline would not have some racial characteristics. The cross here is a failed golem ritual and humans/elves.
1) Dragonborn also have 3 fingers and have no such problems with equipment.
And to add to this, warforged only have two.
still trying to figure out the basics of race generation in 4e.
It's fairly simple, actually. Most races follow this pattern:
Pattern
Ability Score: +2 stat, +2 different stat
Size: Medium or Small
Speed: 5-7
Vision: Normal or Low-light
Languages: Common, 0-1 other language
Skill Bonuses: +2 one skill, +2 different skill
Defense Bonus: If this races stat bonuses apply to the same defense, grant the race +1 to a different defense. Else, don't grant a defense bonus.
Ability One: A mechanically significant ability
Ability Two: A mechanically significant ability
0-2 Minor Abilities: Abilities with little or no mechanical impact.
Racial Power: A racial encounter or at-will power
Clarifications and Design Considerations:
If you look at the races in the PH, you will find that all of them fall under these guidelines.
Ability Score: +2 stat, +2 different stat
Size: Medium or Small
Speed: 5-7
Vision: Normal or Low-light
Languages: Common, 0-1 other language
Skill Bonuses: +2 one skill, +2 different skill
Defense Bonus: If this races stat bonuses apply to the same defense, grant the race +1 to a different defense. Else, don't grant a defense bonus.
Ability One: A mechanically significant ability
Ability Two: A mechanically significant ability
0-2 Minor Abilities: Abilities with little or no mechanical impact.
Racial Power: A racial encounter or at-will power
Clarifications and Design Considerations:
- Languages in 4e are purposely limited to a few (DMG;171). While language is never a big adventuring concern unless the DM wants it to be, consider using a pre-existing language first before inventing a new one.
- 4e doesn't do racial penalties. Period. A 4e race never get minuses to anything, only pluses. The closest thing to a racial penalty is small size (but see below).
- Small size races generally get some slightly more significant abilities, either in the form of racial abilities or racial feats, to make up for their small size. How well this works as a balancing factor is still a debated topic, but that does seem to be the trend.
- Abilities one and two are racial abilities with definite mechanical benefit. These include abilities such as the dragonborn's Dragonborn Fury and halfling's Bold abilities. These abilities should be as universal as possible, so that most or all members of that race of any class can benefit from them.
- Minor abilities have limited, nich, highly situational, or no effective mechanical benefit, but typically add to the flavor of the race and/or flavorfully justify racial feats. These include abilities such as the dwarf's racial weapon proficiency (which is of limited use since most classes who would use these weapons are proficient in them already) or the elf's fey heritage (which would rarely, if ever, come up unless the DM goes out of his way to make it an issue).
- A race's racial power is one of their most significant abilities establishing that race's identity. It should either be universally useful to all members of the race, such as the halfling's Second Chance or the human's bonus at-will, or it should be useful to a broad range of classes that the race is most suited for. The dragonborn, for example, great favor front-line combatants, and the stats used to attack with their Dragonbreath racial (str, con, dex), are significant to almost all close-combat oriented class builds. More so, every class in the PH has at least one build that uses one of those stats as a primary or secondary (including the wizard).
- If a race's racial power deals damage, it should scale per tier. 1d6 damage per tier is the base line. If a race's racial power requires its own attack roll rather than modifying or adding to an existing attack (compare Dragonbreath to Infernal Wrath), the attack bonus should scale by +2 per tier.
If you look at the races in the PH, you will find that all of them fall under these guidelines.
Posted..
It's fairly simple, actually. Most races follow this pattern:Pattern
Ability Score: +2 stat, +2 different stat
Size: Medium or Small
Speed: 5-7
Vision: Normal or Low-light
Languages: Common, 0-1 other language
Skill Bonuses: +2 one skill, +2 different skill
Defense Bonus: If this races stat bonuses apply to the same defense, grant the race +1 to a different defense. Else, don't grant a defense bonus.
Ability One: A mechanically significant ability
Ability Two: A mechanically significant ability
0-2 Minor Abilities: Abilities with little or no mechanical impact.
Racial Power: A racial encounter or at-will power
Clarifications and Design Considerations:
- Languages in 4e are purposely limited to a few (DMG;171). While language is never a big adventuring concern unless the DM wants it to be, consider using a pre-existing language first before inventing a new one.
- 4e doesn't do racial penalties. Period. A 4e race never get minuses to anything, only pluses. The closest thing to a racial penalty is small size (but see below).
- Small size races generally get some slightly more significant abilities, either in the form of racial abilities or racial feats, to make up for their small size. How well this works as a balancing factor is still a debated topic, but that does seem to be the trend.
- Abilities one and two are racial abilities with definite mechanical benefit. These include abilities such as the dragonborn's Dragonborn Fury and halfling's Bold abilities. These abilities should be as universal as possible, so that most or all members of that race of any class can benefit from them.
- Minor abilities have limited, nich, highly situational, or no effective mechanical benefit, but typically add to the flavor of the race and/or flavorfully justify racial feats. These include abilities such as the dwarf's racial weapon proficiency (which is of limited use since most classes who would use these weapons are proficient in them already) or the elf's fey heritage (which would rarely, if ever, come up unless the DM goes out of his way to make it an issue).
- A race's racial power is one of their most significant abilities establishing that race's identity. It should either be universally useful to all members of the race, such as the halfling's Second Chance or the human's bonus at-will, or it should be useful to a broad range of classes that the race is most suited for. The dragonborn, for example, great favor front-line combatants, and the stats used to attack with their Dragonbreath racial (str, con, dex), are significant to almost all close-combat oriented class builds. More so, every class in the PH has at least one build that uses one of those stats as a primary or secondary (including the wizard).
- If a race's racial power deals damage, it should scale per tier. 1d6 damage per tier is the base line. If a race's racial power requires its own attack roll rather than modifying or adding to an existing attack (compare Dragonbreath to Infernal Wrath), the attack bonus should scale by +2 per tier.
If you look at the races in the PH, you will find that all of them fall under these guidelines.
Charged Throw Numa Racial Power
The Numa have developed a great deal of ability in throwing weapons.
_______________________
Encounter ✦ Weapon
Minor Action Ranged per weapon
Target: one enemy
Requirement: Must be wielding a thrown weapon.
Attack: Strength + 2 (heavy thrown) or Dexterity + 2 (light thrown) VS AC
_______________________
Hit: 1[W] + 1d6 (type) or 1[W] + 1d6 (type)
Type is set at character generation. Pick one, Fire, Ice, Force, or Lightning.
The racial power is better now. The Hit line is redundant though. Since both heavy and light thrown weapons deal the same damage, you don't need two identical entries. And I'm curious as to why the extra damage is energy base, as nothing in your fluff indenticates an innate affinity with elemental forces (except the wizard-did-it part, but since that applies to almost everything it D&D, it doesn't really count :P)
Born of a magical mistake created by two very powerful mages.
Nitpick: I'm farily sure this is your race's one-sentence flavor text. If so, it should be moved out from the middle of the stat block and below the race's name.
@Crimson_Concerto & EmpactWB
Thanks for the kind words. Since I already written that much, I'm considering expanding those suggestions into a full Race Creation Guide. If I do, I'll be sure to incorporate your suggestions Crimson.
Still working out some of the roughness in it.
Innate Powered Attack.
Your inborn attack power is fine at range, but when the bad guy is in your face, you need a bit of an edge. Your ranged attack channels though your melee weapon.
Effect: Any ranged energy attack channels though your weapon in hand to deliver it damage. A miss is still a miss.