As you can tell, this is my first post on these forums so please forgive me for any 'Faux Pas' I may cause to anyone here. I need some advice on the first quest in an ongoing campaign that I intend to write. Now, let us get down to business.
Lament of an Undertaker is intended to be both a thrilling adventure for low level characters and a tragic love tale between an undertaker and the woman of his dreams. I have taken inspiration from the likes of Frankenstein and the grave-robbing quest from Fable II.
The quest starts off the group of players in the back of a small horse drawn cart heading into a large elegant city. In the center are 3 ornately designed Colossus that have been inactive for generations and now used as a memorial to those who died in various wars. Before the players enter the gates of the city, they come across a dragon-born farmer harvesting wheat to barter with. The driver stops and tells the players to get out of the cart, that they will have to walk the rest of the way to the city. The farmer, leaning on his scythe calls over the players and tells them about the city, well, what he can remember since he started his farm. The briefly mentions a sudden surge in grave robberies that have the city guards stumped, but doesn't elaborate on what was happening. The farmer's wife makes herself known and a medium CHA check to the wife, the players can walk away with freshly baked goods (whole-grain bread, fruit cakes, ect.)
When the players enter the city, they are barged past by a thief being chased by 3 War-forged guards. The players can try and help the guards or allow them to continue. guards can catch it. The players can explore the city, talk to the guards. To the east, there is the main shopping district with a open-air blacksmith, the clang of his hammer echoing over the general hubbub of the market. Traders calling out their goods to passers by, from food to 'holistic healers'. To the North is the the 3 great colossus, the defenders of the city and the Elders Tower, the high council of the city and surrounding areas. To the west is the cemetery and undertakers manor.
When the players have finished getting supplies and exploring the area, they make their way to the undertakers manor to be greeted by the undertaker, a small man with a peg leg and a strange presence around him. He asks the group to acquire 3 items from the 3 tombs that surround the area. He explains the dangers that lay in the tomb and points to his leg. 3 short dungeon crawls later, they return to the city and see the beacons on the 3 colossus are extinguished. They then return to the undertaker who takes the 3 packages and rewards the players with 200 gold each but abruptly asks them to leave. The players can leave, but some may want to know what was going on. They follow the undertaker to his basement that is built like a mini dungeon like the 3 they had previously been in. They find the undertaker in necromancy robes with a crudely stitched together body and inserting a brain into the head. He summons a horde of skeletons to fight the players while he is trying to create his perfect woman. Due to the distraction of combat, he gets the spell wrong and ends up creating a horrific monster (Leveled down flesh golem) and blames the Players for it. After the players defeat the skeletons and , they find the undertaker has vanished, but they are allowed to raid his lab. ON emerging from the lab, they are confronted by a group of war-forged guards and a captain. They players are told they are guilty of sabotage of the 3 colossus, making the city vunerable to attack
Welcome to the forum. The adventure looks fine. Not exactly sure what advice you need - but here's my tuppence.
Part of your objective is to create a tragic love story, yet you seem to have missed this bit out of your adventure. Why is the undertaker trying to ressurect a recently deceased lover/relative? What is the back story? You do not need to elaborate the details here, but it might be worthwhile fleshing this out a bit and giving the players a means of discovering them - maybe the undertaker has got a diary or love letters or something the players could find during their quest which would explain why these events are happening.
You know your players best, but I think you need a stronger hook to get the players to follow the undertaker after he has paid them. You could give the players an additional quest to get around this - the undertaker's activities have not gone entirelty unnoticed by the townspeople, but they suspect graverobbers or ghouls up to no good. A merchant hires the players to find the body (parts) of his recently deceased wife - he identifies a ring the players get from the undertaker as part of their payment and urges them to investigate the undertaker further - at least this way you have that particular base covered if they decide not to follow the irascible fellow. Some characters just head to the nearest tavern when they get paid.
Since the city's defences are down, this might mean someone is going to capitalise on it. It seems like a good plot hook for the next adventure. Also with the bits of the statues gone I guess the players might have to find the undertaker to get them back to reactivate them. Maybe the undertaker was duped by someone into following this course of action. Someone who is now planning to level the city...?