But, that's all abstract. I saw a list of blurbs and titles for DDXP mods and it occured to me that I can make the suggestions a bit more concrete and perhaps generate some fodder for specific discussion on what makes a good blurb which will be able to help writers write better blurbs.
Core2-1 Killing the Messenger
Living Forgotten Realms - An ancient drow city, long thought dead, has begun to stir and a battalion of Zhentarim soldiers marches to support it. Can you discover who is behind this unlikely partnership? A Living Forgotten Realms espionage adventure set in the Underdark for characters levels 11-14. Sequel to QUES1-1 Black Cloaks and Bitter Rivalries.
Core2-1 Killing the MessengerLiving Forgotten Realms - An ancient drow city, long thought dead, has begun to stir and a battalion of Zhentarim soldiers marches to support it. Can you discover who is behind this unlikely partnership? A Living Forgotten Realms espionage adventure set in the Underdark for characters levels 11-14. Sequel to QUES1-1 Black Cloaks and Bitter Rivalries.
Espionage adventure set in the underdark. Sequel to black cloaks and bitter rivalries. Based on this, I would guess that the PCs will be infiltrating the drow or the zhentarim. Bring a character with social and/or sneaky skills. Assuming I'm right, this is a good blurb.
Good guess, and thank you. I agree that blurbs should be informative, but I also feel that they shouldn't give too much away. Blurbs are also the author's one chance at "pitching the adventure" to the players to generate excitement.
~the guy who wrote the blurb
Core2-1 Killing the MessengerLiving Forgotten Realms - An ancient drow city, long thought dead, has begun to stir and a battalion of Zhentarim soldiers marches to support it. Can you discover who is behind this unlikely partnership? A Living Forgotten Realms espionage adventure set in the Underdark for characters levels 11-14. Sequel to QUES1-1 Black Cloaks and Bitter Rivalries.
Espionage adventure set in the underdark. Sequel to black cloaks and bitter rivalries. Based on this, I would guess that the PCs will be infiltrating the drow or the zhentarim. Bring a character with social and/or sneaky skills. Assuming I'm right, this is a good blurb.
Good guess, and thank you. I agree that blurbs should be informative, but I also feel that they shouldn't give too much away. Blurbs are also the author's one chance at "pitching the adventure" to the players to generate excitement.
~the guy who wrote the blurb
While I agree that blurbs should not give "too much away," I think a lot of writers set the standard for "too much" far too low. If I would find something out five minutes into the mod, you're not spoiling anything by giving it away.
Additionally, while pitching the adventure and generating excitement is a good thing, it needs to be done on a true basis in order to be effective. For instance, I am probably not the only player who has observed that very frequently when blurbs mention water or ships that means that the players will spend five minutes on a boat in the beginning of the mod and will then be shipwrecked and play out the entire story on land or experience some other kind of bait and switch. Now, if you assume that we love nautical mods and want to play a sailor character in them, this practice effectively innoculates us against excitement from future blurbs that would indicate a nautical mod.
Perhaps there is an useful analogy to be made with movie trailers. Trailers are explicitly created to generate excitement about films and draw crowds to the theatres. Yet you will rarely see a trailer that appears to promise a romantic comedy actually lead to a thrilling action movie. (If they did, it would draw an audience that was less likely to be interested in what it had to offer and the negative publicity generated by people who hated the movie but were suckered into coming to see it would far outweigh whatever excitement was generated by the false pretenses). And trailers are rarely shy about revealing the basic action of the plot, yet this usually serves to enhance rather than detract from the excitement or interest generated. (Sometimes, after watching a movie, people will say, "all the good scenes were in the trailer" but they mean that the movie was bad, not that they would have enjoyed the movie more if they hadn't seen the trailer).
For example, the Die Hard trailer is not shy about revealing the basic plot and even some details of the action. Yet, I doubt that anyone who watched the trailer would enjoy the movie less for having done so. And anyone who is less likely to watch the movie once he has seen the trailer is probably someone who would not like the movie anyway. Likewise, the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe trailer did hesitate to reveal that eventually all of the Pevensies make it into Narnia, that Maugrim finds them in the Beaver's home, that Aslan shows up (and is a lion), that the White Witch is a villain, and that Peter, the centaurs, and the rest of the Narnians end up fighting the armies of the White Witch. The Lord of the Rings trailer similarly tells us quite a bit about the action of the plot--even some items (such as the final decision of the Council of Elrond) which seem to be in doubt in the film. Now there are significant differences between trailers for movies (which are a non-interactive media) and blurbs for modules which are interactive (and thus advance information can impact players preparations and in-game reactions). But there are also very significant differences between the amount of information that you can convey in a 2 minute trailer and what you convey in a 2 sentence blurb. On the whole, there seems to be far too much reluctance to disclose any information in module blurbs. This not only deprives players of information on which to choose modules to play but also deprives authors of opportunities to generate excitement. (For instance, simply writing "battle interactive" in the ADCP blurb seems to have generated quite a bit of excitement).
I agree with Elder_Basilisk: blurbs that tell the players what to expect from an adventure are extremely important to player enjoyment of the adventure.
Good blurbs tell you the basic plot of the adventure and what you'll be doing. Bad blurbs use vague pronouncements of doom or cryptic phrases that convey nothing substantive.
Core2-2 Rising of the DarkLiving Forgotten Realms - During the rise of the Netheril Empire, many battles were fought. One battle sank a Netherese ship, sending it between the waves of the Sea of Fallen Stars. There it lay for many years, vessel and cargo forgotten. Until now... A Living Forgotten Realms adventure set in the Sea of Fallen Stars for levels 11-14.
From this blurb, I would assume that the PCs are venturing into the murky depths to recover the vessel's cargo, explore the vessel, or prevent someone else from doing so..
Well, it's not set *in* the Sea of Fallen Stars for nothing...
I do hope you won't find it to be a dungeon crawl though, and that there will be some interesting things going on.
Dale2-1 Forever
Living Forgotten Realms - In a world where even gods die, nothing lasts. Yet, some may seek any means to recover old glory, regain love, or cling to the vestiges of life itself. A Living Forgotten Realms adventure set in the Dalelands for characters levels 4-7.I don't think I just speak for myself when I say, "huh?" This sounds vaguely creepy and lovecraftian
Well, we seem to have gotten the feel right. Sorry to not be very informative (or at all), but being in the unknown is in a way a part of this adventure.
Btw, take note that DALE2-1 is a sequel to DALE1-4. It is awkward to play them out of order with the same PC.
Gomez
Btw, take note that DALE2-1 is a sequel to DALE1-4. It is awkward to play them out of order with the same PC.
Gomez
THAT would be something very handy to have in the blurb, like "This adventure is set after the events of DALE1-4 and references them, it would be best to play them in order"
That would go a long way to helping with blurbs.
Btw, take note that DALE2-1 is a sequel to DALE1-4. It is awkward to play them out of order with the same PC.
Gomez
THAT would be something very handy to have in the blurb, like "This adventure is set after the events of DALE1-4 and references them, it would be best to play them in order"
That would go a long way to helping with blurbs.
It was. I think what happened is that an older version of the summary/blurb was submitted (which didn't have that line yet). I'll see if I can correct that.
Gomez
But seriously, thanks for the work you guys do, I know you probably don't hear that often enough. Without people volunteering their time and effort for this stuff I'd have nothing to do for the next 11 hours today, instead I have DND to play all day now, so thanks.
Btw, take note that DALE2-1 is a sequel to DALE1-4. It is awkward to play them out of order with the same PC.
Gomez
DAMMIT!! This is one of the things I hate about "sequels" being released much later than the original mod, but in the same level band! I have *three* characters who have all played DALE1-4. Two of them have already leveled to H3. The third is, luckily, still in that range. I was actually planning on having that character play BALD1-2 to complete the major quest. I'm changing my plans now and will instead have her play BALD1-3 and complete the major quest in the H3 level band so that I can play DALE2-1 with her first.
I really would have wanted to play DALE2-1 w/ one of the others, because that other one is focusing on playing as many of the Dalelands mods as she can.
I would really, really, really appreciate mod writers never doing this again. If you're going to have a sequel long after the original mod is released, at the very least, put it in the next level band!!
Damon
The city of Westgate is the focus of many rumors and plots. Recent stories tell of “blank-faced spirits” who wander the city’s streets at night and then vanish into thin air when confronted. Who or what could be causing this phenomenon? This module could be of special interest to those that have previously come to the aid of Westgate and its citizens. A Living Forgotten Realms adventure set in Westgate on the Dragon Coast for characters levels 11-14.
An adventure that takes place in Westgate, but is not a DRAG mod, clearly indicates that there is something special about it. But it doesn't give any hint as to what. Any characters that have played the adventures that deal with the Abolethic Sovereignty will probably want to play this adventure. I have one character that I am extremely interested in playing this plotline with, so I wish it would just come out and say it. (There is also a reference to it in the list of other adventure hooks at the beginning of DRAG1-7, but most of those are just as vague).
Furthermore, one of the story awards in CORE1-11 says it begins a major quest, but there is no indication as to when it might show up, or what level it will be. I'm close to levelling out of P1 with this character and now I'm hesitant to play him for a while because I don't want to miss anything relating to this particular adventure.
Another example of vague or unhelpful blurbs: CORE1-11The city of Westgate is the focus of many rumors and plots. Recent stories tell of “blank-faced spirits” who wander the city’s streets at night and then vanish into thin air when confronted. Who or what could be causing this phenomenon? This module could be of special interest to those that have previously come to the aid of Westgate and its citizens. A Living Forgotten Realms adventure set in Westgate on the Dragon Coast for characters levels 11-14.
An adventure that takes place in Westgate, but is not a DRAG mod, clearly indicates that there is something special about it. But it doesn't give any hint as to what. Any characters that have played the adventures that deal with the Abolethic Sovereignty will probably want to play this adventure. I have one character that I am extremely interested in playing this plotline with, so I wish it would just come out and say it. (There is also a reference to it in the list of other adventure hooks at the beginning of DRAG1-7, but most of those are just as vague).
Furthermore, one of the story awards in CORE1-11 says it begins a major quest, but there is no indication as to when it might show up, or what level it will be. I'm close to levelling out of P1 with this character and now I'm hesitant to play him for a while because I don't want to miss anything relating to this particular adventure.
I don't think we should paint this blurb with too negative a brush. Yes, it should mention that it is the start of a major quest and it should also say where the quest continues. But as far as actual information goes, it gives you a pretty accurate picture of the plot of the module. So, this blurb has issues with its implementation of campaign-level information but it's fine as far as the text relates to the module itself. (Now, if we wanted to go beyond the blurb and deal with the module, I wouldn't be nearly so positive but that is fodder for another thread).
If you're going to have a sequel long after the original mod is released, at the very least, put it in the next level band!!
Note that the adventure is a sequel, as it uses a recurring NPC (you will see more of her in higher tiers), but not part of a major quest.
We don't have a lot of control nowadays on what level band we work in for specific quarters.
I needed the sequel to happen in Q1 (as the NPC may also feature in a Q2 adventure, and the Q1 has to happen first to make sense), and we were assigned a H2 for Q1.
Gomez
If you're going to have a sequel long after the original mod is released, at the very least, put it in the next level band!!
Note that the adventure is a sequel, as it uses a recurring NPC (you will see more of her in higher tiers), but not part of a major quest.
We don't have a lot of control nowadays on what level band we work in for specific quarters.
I needed the sequel to happen in Q1 (as the NPC may also feature in a Q2 adventure, and the Q1 has to happen first to make sense), and we were assigned a H2 for Q1.
Gomez
I hear you, and that does, at least, make this somewhat more palatable. But even so, if it's a sequel and most of the PCs out there who played DALE1-4 already are then unable to play this mod because they've already leveled out of the appropriate level band, then the mod loses the value of being a sequel.
I *do* understand the constraints of what you're given in terms of what level band you have to write for, though. But nevertheless, for the players who DON'T understand the why's and the wherefore's, they're likely to get upset -- just like I did before you told me what you were dealing with.
Damon
In a way, every adventure is tied to another, so you are going to miss out on an adventure at some point anyway.
It is near impossible to play all the Dalelands adventures with one PC anyway. (That doesn't mean you loose things in the tale - but it is unlikely you will always have done everything. It's the nature of a campaign where we have a need to restart at H1 every year for new players/PCs)
If you would start now, you might want to play in the following order:
1-4 : DALE1-1, DALE1-7, (DRAG1-7),
4-7: DALE1-2, DALE1-4, DALE2-1,
7-10: DALE1-5, (DRAG1-6),
11-14: DALE1-6, (CORE2-2), (DRAG1-6), (CORM2-2),
14-17: DALE2-2.
With a few adventures from other regionals thrown in that also tie to the plotline in one way or another.
Gomez
Well, I likely make it difficult for myself in that I have a larger plotline, which I feel needs to make sense both if people play this in order (as they come out), and later on according to tier.
In a way, every adventure is tied to another, so you are going to miss out on an adventure at some point anyway.
It was mostly the word "sequel" that really bothered me.
Yes, I understand that there are a lot of links between adventures in a region. For instance, I just finished running IMPI1-7 last night, and noticed that it had links and references especially to IMPI1-5, among other things, even though it wasn't a direct sequel.
Damon
PS. Edited because I was confusing this thread w/ another one I'd been posting in. Oops!
If you're going to have a sequel long after the original mod is released, at the very least, put it in the next level band!!
Note that the adventure is a sequel, as it uses a recurring NPC (you will see more of her in higher tiers), but not part of a major quest.
We don't have a lot of control nowadays on what level band we work in for specific quarters.
I needed the sequel to happen in Q1 (as the NPC may also feature in a Q2 adventure, and the Q1 has to happen first to make sense), and we were assigned a H2 for Q1.
Gomez
This is veering a bit off topic, but sharing an NPC does not make a module a sequel. For instance, James Bond movies share the same MI6 characters (M, Q, Ms. Moneypenny, Bond), but for the most part are not sequels. You can watch and understand one without any of the others. (My impression is that the last two actually were meant to be sequential but the Connery, Moore, Dalton, and Brosnan films did not have any sequence I recognized).
To bring this back to the topic, I would suggest that we not use sequel in blurbs or descriptions of mods unless the events are actually sequential and it is best to play them in order with the same character. "Loose sequel" might be acceptable but is still probably too strong for mods which are tied together by shared NPCs or non-prominent background developments rather than the action of the plot.
This is veering a bit off topic, but sharing an NPC does not make a module a sequel.
It does in this case.
Gomez
Thus, it can be difficult for a blurb to really provide a full indication of what to expect. It might change. It might be changed by someone else. But, the blurb is done up front, so you need to stay away as an author from specifics that might waver. Dadline-wise, the blurb probably gets the least love of anything in that proposal (and that's probably as it should be - the rest is a lot more important).
Beyond that, it is rather hard (at least for me) to summarize all those pages into two short sentences, let alone provide you with what you are asking for.
Beyond that, it can be argued whether a blurb really should do these things. I think Dave Kay has it right that you are trying to generate excitement. You want to give an idea of the concept, but you probably don't want to give everything away. Keep in mind that you can always ask around to learn more about what the adventure is like. This can be at the con, if choosing between two PCs, or even beforehand by asking on the forums. But, as DM or author, I have trouble answering any player that asks what PC they should bring. Sure, an infiltration mod may let your CHA PC shine, but that doesn't mean your TacLord might not really enjoy it, perhaps even more!
For your specific question about SPEC2-1 P2, Scout's Honor,
Show
I'm not sure it matters for enjoyment. You head into the forest to retrieve something, as well as to learn something. It isn't an infiltration mod, but that doesn't mean you don't want those skills.
I pride myself on making every character suitable for every adventure - it honestly doesn't matter which PC I bring to a given adventure, because they would all be appropriate.
I can focus on making a good class balance instead of worrying that PC A wouldn't be caught dead helping elves but PC B won't sail on a ship but PC C only works for gobs of money.
Process-wise, the blurb has to be written with the proposal. The proposal (and portions of it) may or may not approved. You have not yet written a first draft.
Thus, it can be difficult for a blurb to really provide a full indication of what to expect. It might change. It might be changed by someone else. But, the blurb is done up front, so you need to stay away as an author from specifics that might waver. Dadline-wise, the blurb probably gets the least love of anything in that proposal (and that's probably as it should be - the rest is a lot more important).
Perhaps that's a part of the process that needs to change then. Presumably the blurbs don't go out into "upcoming mod" documents until the mod proposal has at least been accepted and the author and editor have worked out some kind of a rough outline. I can't see any reason to freeze the blurb at the proposal stage.
And it's not as though it's a lot of work to change a blurb either.
Beyond that, it is rather hard (at least for me) to summarize all those pages into two short sentences, let alone provide you with what you are asking for.
I don't think it's really as hard as you are making it out to be. Several of the authors whose blurbs made it into the D&DXP blurb doc seem to have managed just fine. For others, perhaps it's a skill that needs working on. But that doesn't mean it's not worth a bit of effort.
Beyond that, it can be argued whether a blurb really should do these things. I think Dave Kay has it right that you are trying to generate excitement. You want to give an idea of the concept, but you probably don't want to give everything away.
I think you are missing a beat when you place generating excitement and having actual content on opposing ends of the spectrum. In my experience, blurbs generate excitement by giving information. Take a look at the Paladin's Curse discussion. While there are some people who expressed concern about exclusive rewards, it is the only blurb to have generated enough excitement to generate a multipage thread (or any thread at all). And what did that? Two content-filled words: battle interactive. In general, players are not going to be as excited by two sentences of content-free flavor text. They tend to be excited by being told, "your character gets to do this." The Zhentarim infiltration mod interests me, not because it has a cloak and dagger sounding name to it, but rather because it promises a cloak and dagger story: infiltrating the Zhentarim.
As for giving things away, it's an overblown concern. Movie trailers give away far more than any module blurb ever will and generate more excitement for doing so. And about the only time they ruin a movie is when the movie wasn't any good to begin with. If you are told what happens in the first ten-fifteen minutes of a mod, it doesn't matter. That's almost always just non-interactive exposition anyway.
Keep in mind that you can always ask around to learn more about what the adventure is like. This can be at the con, if choosing between two PCs, or even beforehand by asking on the forums. But, as DM or author, I have trouble answering any player that asks what PC they should bring. Sure, an infiltration mod may let your CHA PC shine, but that doesn't mean your TacLord might not really enjoy it, perhaps even more!
Asking on forums will tend to yield far more information than I actually want and it is of little use to people who are attending a premiere. As for not being able to tell me whether my changeling bard or taclord will enjoy the mod more, that is understandable but it is only another reason to put actual information in blurbs: with information, I can decide for myself.
For your specific question about SPEC2-1 P2, Scout's Honor,ShowI'm not sure it matters for enjoyment. You head into the forest to retrieve something, as well as to learn something. It isn't an infiltration mod, but that doesn't mean you don't want those skills.
But, for fun, how would you rewrite the blurb for CORE1-14, What Storms May Come?
For instance, consider the following purely hypothetical blurb:
Core never-won't be written: A tribe of savage goblins have attacked Loudwater and now it's time to storm their caves and pay them back in kind. Will you flinch at flinging goblin babies from the cliff? A genocidal romp for characters level 1-4.
Based on that, I could be pretty sure that it is going to be a hack and slash module that might have a token moral dilemma involving goblin infants tossed in. I would know that, as long as the fights were enjoyable (and not "all hexers, all the time"), I would probably enjoy the mod with whatever character I played, but that I would probably enjoy it most with either my paladin/avenger or my eladrin warlord who have been itching to get their ruthless on since day one and have only had a few chances to do so.
Likewise, I am pretty sure that I would most enjoy playing the Zhentarim Infiltration mod with my warlock since he is the one of my characters best equipped to let my infiltration schemes run wild (it's much easier to disguise yourself and pretend to be a Zhentarim agent when you actually have bluff trained). At the same time, however, he is actually a conscientious character so any of the standard dilemmas that I would expect might crop up in such a mod would be much more interesting playing him than they would be (for instance) playing my Eladrin warlord who would probably not feel any conflict at all unless the necessary sacrifices of his masquerade were eladrin.
As to your question about Core 1-14's blurb, I'm a bit fuzzy on the story since I only played it once a couple months ago and it was late in the evening, so this will no doubt leave room for significant improvement. That said, I would look at something like this:
What Storms May Come
CORE 1-14 - Core Adventure by ?. For characters of levels 11-14.
Darkness and light struggle and heroes are once again drawn to unravel the secret of the radiant vessel. Can the truth be determined and the machinations of Szass Tam be put to an end?
Set in ?. Conclusion of the "Radiance Against Thay" major quest, which began in "Radiant Vessel of Thesk" (CORE1-2) and continued in "Incident at the Gorge of Gauros" (CORE1-6). Due to premiere at the Gen Con Indy convention in August 2009, due to be released for general play August 2009.
What Storms May Come
CORE 1-14 - Core Adventure by ?. For characters of levels 11-14.
An ancient artifact can bind the power of all radiant vessels and you must tread a dangerous path to obtain it before Szass Tam. But what will you do with it if you succeed? Conclusion of the "Radiance Against Thay" major quest, which began in "Radiant Vessel of Thesk" (CORE1-2) and continued in "Incident at the Gorge of Gauros" (CORE1-6). Due to premiere at the Gen Con Indy convention in August 2009, due to be released for general play August 2009.
Some do, some don't. I personally don't like to know the story beforehand.
For DALE2-1, adding more info may spoil bits for this mod or the prequel. Maybe it could be improved, then again, it apparently does convey the intended message: spooky and mysterious.
For CORE2-2, it gives enough info. I may have added a bit to the blurb (where exactly you are going) now that I am almost done with the adventure. But it covers the basics and I think it is clear enough what PCs are sent out to do.
Gomez
I thought about the issue some more, and I think what might be really cool is to see module teasers again. The types of teasers the Geoff Triad would write for LG were simply huge at generating interest. With the new premiere policy, perhaps cons and regional/global admins might start working on those again.
For CORE1-14, the handout that players receive with Veruud's shared vision... I modeled that on teasers from the LG days. You get a sort of intro that foreshadows what will happen but is not in any way a spoiler. It hopefully whets your appetite, reminds you of prior events, helps you care, etc.
Teasers would really help you choose a PC, as the teaser shows you (I think) the type of information you need to decide which PC would most want to be involved.
I have thought about something like that: published bits of story (like a prologue), that precede the adventure and concerns featured (or referenced) NPCs. It may tell something about what is coming or about the back story, without (hopefully) spoiling too much.
The problem will be that to publish such teasers we likely need it to be approved (and written...) - just like adventures. That may take time, as that process is not particularly quick.
But if it works it migth help set the mood.
Whether it makes the adventure much clearer is something else, of course...
Gomez
Here's the thing. A good teaser will generate excitement and allow a player to learn some of the backstory to the mod, but they won't tell you what the mod is about. For instance, if we were playing Living Revolutionary War, you could probably write an awesome teaser about Paul Revere's Ride. But that wouldn't tell us whether New England 1-1: Lexington and Concord was going to be a module full of tense negotiations or exciting guerialla warfare.
Also, I'm pretty sure that the authors who seem to live in abject terror of giving away what they tell you in their introductory box text (yeah, that's a real shocking plot point there--all of two minutes into the mod, it changed my perception of everything that came before it) will still take the same miserly approach to actually relevant information in teasers as they will in blurbs. Just like a blurb, a teaser can be helpful, misleading, or information free.
As for Core 1-14, exactly what is it that you're afraid will be spoiled if the players know beforehand that they are going to be going after the artifact? Sure, I suppose the PCs might never find out about it if they fail the initial skill challenge or just tell the Wychlaran to go to hell when they get asked to prove themselves. ("We thought we were asked here because you needed our help. Apparently you don't so we'll be going now. Good luck with whatever it was. And don't bother asking for help again if it turns out you're in over your heads. We're not interested anymore." That was what I wanted to say to them at least). But if that happens, the module is over anyway. The explanation after that doesn't lose anything if the PCs have a clue that the quest will involve recovering a relic/artifact/whatever. The bit I added about the choice might arm players a bit ahead and I could see the blurb working just as well without it, but to me, part of what sets the module apart from a standard fetch quest plus bonus encounter is that choice so I would want to advertise it.
Also, I'm pretty sure that the authors who seem to live in abject terror of giving away what they tell you in their introductory box text
Well, what you write in the intro box does not always make a good blurb. Sometimes, the mission is not what the adventure is about. In sequels, you do not always wish to expose elements that may act as spoilers for the earlier adventures. There is a difference between spoilers in an adventure and in a blurb.
And CORE2-2 basically does say what the intro says. It implies rather than states the mission, but to be honest, I do have the feeling theat implication was fairly obvious.
And DALE2-1, as I wrote, is a bit tricky. It gave you a lovecraftian feel, so that is good. If I icnlude dthe plot hook, however, it would contain spoilers for DALE1-4. I also wonder if it would actually tell you more about the adventure.
In the end, blurbs are written on feel. I personally do not think they should give an adventure summary, and I likely won't do that in the future unless I think it helps to draw players in.
Gomez
In the end, blurbs are written on feel. I personally do not think they should give an adventure summary, and I likely won't do that in the future unless I think it helps to draw players in.
I can definitely say that, at least for me, blurbs "written on feel" do nothing. They do not generate excitement. They do not draw me in. In fact, they keep me away. (It has been my experience that blurbs written on feel tend to accompany stories written on feel--as though two pages of purple prose box text will make up for a poorly thought out and ineptly communicated story). If I have a choice between playing an adventure that is not afraid to clue me in on what it's about and an adventure that tells me nothing beyond some vague feel (which based on past experience is just as likely to be misleading as accurate), I will go for the one with information in the blurb every time. At the very least, if the author wrote what the mod is about in the blurb, it is clear that the author had a clue what the story is about.
I still feel a blurb is not a summary.
Gomez
If you are going to equate how 'clear' a blurb is with how good an adventure is, well, up to you.
I still feel a blurb is not a summary.
Gomez
And I'm not arguing that it should be a summary. (There is a lot of space between a full plot summary and content-free logorrhea). What I am arguing is that a blurb should contain a preview of the mod--especially the introduction and basic premise.
As for how the clarity of the blurb effects how I view the adventure, that's just where my section of your audience is at. I doubt I'm the only one to think that an author who can't or won't write a useful blurb is more likely than other authors to be unable or unwilling to write a good mod. Sometimes I'm surprised, of course and I don't put much stock in any aspect of the blurb's predictive value. But I do put some stock in it. That was part of the reason for starting this thread--to facilitate discussion of how blurbs could be improved, partly because that would be a small improvement to writing overall, but partly because I would like to enhance their predictive quality.
part of our problem stems from blurbs that are so nonspecific they apply to any number of modules, the blurb should be specific enough that I can't just cut and paste into another mod and have it apply equally well.. The blurb is essentially an advertisement for the mod, if I can't tell what the hell the advertisement is for, why would I "buy" the mod?
If I had read this before starting my last post, I would probably have just put "+1" under it.
I doubt I'm the only one to think that an author who can't or won't write a useful blurb is more likely than other authors to be unable or unwilling to write a good mod.
There is a major difference betwen writing a blurb and writing an adventure ('adventure', not 'mod').
One is something advertisement people are good in, the other is something game designers are good in.
Someone may have both skills, but that isn't guaranteed.
It may be that I prefer vaguer and moodier blurbs than other people - that may reflect in some of the adventure blurbs I produce (I produce some of the blurbs for adventures, often at a rush as we need to send summaries in and we don't have anything yet).
I'll try to keep comments in mind for future blurbs.
Howver, I still don't think the blurbs are bad. DALE1-4 is intended to be a fantasy-horror adventure and I think I captured that at least. It doesn't say much at what will happen, but not knowing what goes on is part of a horror scene. The CORE2-2 blurb is clear enough, afaik.
Gomez
There is a major difference betwen writing a blurb and writing an adventure ('adventure', not 'mod').
So very true, I find it relatively easy to come up with a module and even fill in all the boxes in an LFR module - but a good blurb for a module is much harder for me to produce. I'm yet to write one I like for the first mod in a series of MYREs I'm working on, and the whole module is written, along with most of the second one (and by written I mean - it is as complete as a normal LFR mod, not just the core info I need to run the mod)
As to adventures that I would play with a character I have 1 example:
AGLA1-1 Lost Temple of the Fey Gods
Faeries, sprites, nymphs, and dryads – the fey creatures of Faerûn’s wild places are often dismissed as nuisances and pranksters. Those who truly understand the fey know that as with all things natural, there is a darker side to these creatures of fancy. Could a rash of stolen food and sleep dust traps point to a more sinister threat lurking on the wild side of reality? A Living Forgotten Realms adventure set in Aglarond for characters levels 1-4.
This adventure blurb made it a "must play" for my swordmage (and it ended up being her last H1 mod), just with the first sentance.
But truth is I find the blurbs to be mostly so uninformative that I don't even bother reading them before a game day - I just turn up to play whatever I can, aiming for new mods a lot o the time.
Not to mention that the author of the adventure might never have written the blurb in the first place. At times the administrators are forced to write the summary, and deliver it to the author once approved and as has been pointed out, the blurb is written relatively early in the process. At times the blurb is updated later on, but sometimes that is a bit too late for the official announcements.
This. It also happens to be one of my biggest grips with the adventure-writing process. Like the OP, I find the blurb to be very important. The author should have more control over his blurb, and there should be more room for blurb updates once the first draft is written (since the first draft is usually written before the adventure is ever advertised).
But truth is I find the blurbs to be mostly so uninformative that I don't even bother reading them before a game day - I just turn up to play whatever I can, aiming for new mods a lot o the time.
lol
I tried this out a couple of times. At the table, at the start of the event, my query "Anyone want to hear the blurb" is generally received with chorus of "No" and "Boooo" (and no, we don't really have the sort of players who would go out on their own and read up on blurbs online).
Just for fun, here are some actual blurbs. Try to match them to the adventure. For extra credit, tell us what the adventure is about, using spoiler tags where appropriate.
Theme 1: Missing Relatives
Adventurers are the only hope of a servant who seeks her missing brother. Will the heroes be in time to save the boy and best the villains?
Kidnappers have taken the daughter of a wealthy noble lord. You are entrusted with the task of saving her before it’s too late.
Theme 2: Missing Items
An old tutor asks the adventurers to recover a stolen family heirloom for a down-on-their-luck XXX noble family.
The XXX family has fallen on hard times but believes that a secret near their family's decaying estates may redeem their good name. Can the PCs uncover the truth that will restore the family's honor?
When the Spellplague brought XXX to the Realms, many items were shattered and lost. Pieces of something are now surfacing, and it is imperative that the government of XXX finds it before anyone else.
Theme 3: The World is a Dangerous Place
XXX is not a safe country for those who are alone. When a young woman’s father dies, can you resist her cry for help?
The XXX is no place for the more delicate flowers of civilization. For those of a less savory character, or whose reputations need not be protected quite so zealously, however, the XXX is a bazaar like no other. Goods and services of all kinds can be had as long as the price is right… and the price is always right. But today, the coin of the realm seems to be something other than gold.
XXX is a haven of peace and culture surrounded by howling wilderness studded with lost ruins, hidden temples, and the lairs of foul, vicious creatures. Things that are lost, however, do not always stay so and some things hidden refuse to remain in darkness.
Vengeance smolders in the hearts of many. It sometimes takes only a little spark to flare back to an all-consuming rage.
In the oldest part of XXX whispered rumors of dark deeds slither through the chilled, narrow streets.
I think I might have to print those out sometime, maybe for next GenCon.
This brings to mind LFR bingo, which we joked about at a recent con. Squares I already suggested "Your employer is a dwarf", "Your employer is a halfing", "Your mission includes clearing out a warehouse", "Your mission includes finding someone", "Your mission starts in an inn", "You meet an NPC who ultimately betrays you", "You are randomly jumped in the street", "You are dazed before your first action in combat", ... etc.
I think I might have to print those out sometime, maybe for next GenCon.
"Inside the ruined/decrepit/ancient temple..."
Just for fun, here are some actual blurbs. Try to match them to the adventure. For extra credit, tell us what the adventure is about, using spoiler tags where appropriate.
Theme 1: Missing Relatives
Adventurers are the only hope of a servant who seeks her missing brother. Will the heroes be in time to save the boy and best the villains?Kidnappers have taken the daughter of a wealthy noble lord. You are entrusted with the task of saving her before it’s too late.Theme 2: Missing Items
An old tutor asks the adventurers to recover a stolen family heirloom for a down-on-their-luck XXX noble family.The XXX family has fallen on hard times but believes that a secret near their family's decaying estates may redeem their good name. Can the PCs uncover the truth that will restore the family's honor?When the Spellplague brought XXX to the Realms, many items were shattered and lost. Pieces of something are now surfacing, and it is imperative that the government of XXX finds it before anyone else.Theme 3: The World is a Dangerous Place
XXX is not a safe country for those who are alone. When a young woman’s father dies, can you resist her cry for help?The XXX is no place for the more delicate flowers of civilization. For those of a less savory character, or whose reputations need not be protected quite so zealously, however, the XXX is a bazaar like no other. Goods and services of all kinds can be had as long as the price is right… and the price is always right. But today, the coin of the realm seems to be something other than gold.XXX is a haven of peace and culture surrounded by howling wilderness studded with lost ruins, hidden temples, and the lairs of foul, vicious creatures. Things that are lost, however, do not always stay so and some things hidden refuse to remain in darkness.Vengeance smolders in the hearts of many. It sometimes takes only a little spark to flare back to an all-consuming rage.In the oldest part of XXX whispered rumors of dark deeds slither through the chilled, narrow streets.
I'll bite.
Show
1) ?
2) BALD 1-4?
3) WATE 1-1
4) CORM 1-3
5) AKAN 1-4
6) IMPI 1-1
7) CORE 1-4?
8) CORE 1-9?
9) DALE 1-5
10) EAST 1-4?
2) BALD 1-4?
3) WATE 1-1
4) CORM 1-3
5) AKAN 1-4
6) IMPI 1-1
7) CORE 1-4?
8) CORE 1-9?
9) DALE 1-5
10) EAST 1-4?
These blurbs below, however, call for the MSTK3000 treatment.
Theme 3: The World is a Dangerous Place
XXX is not a safe country for those who are alone. When a young woman’s father dies, can you resist her cry for help?
Can I resist? What is she, some kind of harpy? Or is this some kind of reverse horror movie where the young woman needs to hook up in order to live? Hey baby, it's not a safe country for those who are alone.
The XXX is no place for the more delicate flowers of civilization. For those of a less savory character, or whose reputations need not be protected quite so zealously, however, the XXX is a bazaar like no other. Goods and services of all kinds can be had as long as the price is right… and the price is always right. But today, the coin of the realm seems to be something other than gold.
Obviously, our characters are called to prostitute themselves to get good magic items. The mod must be, Deuce Bigelow, Cormyrian Gigilo.
XXX is a haven of peace and culture surrounded by howling wilderness studded with lost ruins, hidden temples, and the lairs of foul, vicious creatures. Things that are lost, however, do not always stay so and some things hidden refuse to remain in darkness.
Excuse me, is this the road to Athkatla? My ruin elemental seems to have lost his way.
No, no, get back there temple. You have to remain hidden. Redcloak, please fetch the darkness umbrella before the animated temple becomes unhidden.
Vengeance smolders in the hearts of many. It sometimes takes only a little spark to flare back to an all-consuming rage.
Vengeance leads to heartburn. And heartburn leads to rage. And rage leads to suffering which leads to the dark side. Sorry Mr Lucas, we're changing this module right now. Please call off the lawyers.
I know, we'll make it about Hoar. What? I know this is a family game. It's just that this Hoar priest... No, HOAR. H O A R. It's not supposed to sound attractive, for the last time, hoar is a Forgotten Realms god. No, not Mystra. She's dead, and anyway, she never got money for it, she was more a **** not a ****. Oh, forget it, how about we just use Shar like all the other LFR mods?
In the oldest part of XXX whispered rumors of dark deeds slither through the chilled, narrow streets.
Did you see that? I could swear it was a slithering rumor. No, I don't know what that has to do with anything, but it sounds like a whispering snake. And it's kinda cold here. Watch out for chillborn zombies.
I'll bite.Show1) ? hint: it takes place in one of the "city" LFR regions
2) BALD 1-4? no (the blurb doesn't tell you this, but it's a genasi family)
3) WATE 1-1 yes!
4) CORM 1-3 yes!
5) AKAN 1-4 yes!
6) IMPI 1-1 yes!
7) CORE 1-4? yes!
8) CORE 1-9? no (this is a 1-1 adventure)
9) DALE 1-5 yes!
10) EAST 1-4? no (same region as #8)
Most of the first ones are actually decent blurbs. The situations may not be unusual for LFR, but neither are the mods so the blurbs do a good job of telling us what to expect.
Oh, I agree. A blurb like this one...
Kidnappers have taken the daughter of a wealthy noble lord. You are entrusted with the task of saving her before it’s too late.
... is good. It tells you what the adventure is about and gives you some idea of what you'll be doing. I do think this particular blurb could be a little more forthcoming with details, but overall it's much better than the usual blurb.
These blurbs below, however, call for the MSTK3000 treatment.
Hah! That's funny.
I have to admit a particular fondness for these two:
Vengeance smolders in the hearts of many. It sometimes takes only a little spark to flare back to an all-consuming rage.
This isn't a blurb; it's a truism about human nature.
In the oldest part of XXX whispered rumors of dark deeds slither through the chilled, narrow streets.
Go figure: there's a location in a D&D world where bad things are happening, and there are some rumors about it. Wacky!
This brings to mind LFR bingo, which we joked about at a recent con. Squares I already suggested "Your employer is a dwarf", "Your employer is a halfing", "Your mission includes clearing out a warehouse", "Your mission includes finding someone", "Your mission starts in an inn", "You meet an NPC who ultimately betrays you", "You are randomly jumped in the street", "You are dazed before your first action in combat", ... etc.
I think I might have to print those out sometime, maybe for next GenCon."Inside the ruined/decrepit/ancient temple..."
You fight cultists of Shar...
Intimidate is a hard DC, other Cha skills are moderate/easy...