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| #1taradusisMar 15, 2011 20:49:57 | I have been having some thoughts about a humor-based campaign. I have contributed to other threads on this subject,but they tend to die out over time. I would like to add elements from ; Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Myth Inc Series , Sabrina the Teenage Witch , Keystone kops , Star Wars , Spaceballs , Star Trek , StarWreck , Austin Powers Series , the Untouchables ,3 Stooges , the Olsen Twins(mary-kate and ashley) ,Stormwrack , LAVERNE + SHIRLY , Vlad the Impaler , KING KONG ,FAY WRAY , FUTURAMA , Louis Mcmaster Bujold , quaddies , mood rings , smiley faces , solar powered satellites(SPS) , Bambi , Keebler Elves , Amazonia by rollins , Pilsbury dough co. , Famous Amos , The Lorax , Ray Romano , Cookie monster , Dracula , Radu the Pretty , Hammer Films , Faberge Eggs , The Gorgon , goose that laid the golden eggs , Creature from the Black Lagoon, Big Rock Candy Mountain , Uncle Sam , Iron Horses , peter sellers , Pink Panther , Mission Impossible ,Jeff Dunham , achmed the dead terrorist , skeletor , He-man and Masters of the Universe , Mayor Koch , SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, PHIL HARTMAN , 21 JUMP STREET , RICHARD GREICO , HOLLY ROBINSON , WKRP In Cincinati, Rosemary's Baby, ALLY MCBEAL , Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law , The She Hulk , SMURFS , BAST , SOBEK , CATWOMAN , HALLE BERRY , SMURFETTE , Deliverance,the movie , LASSIE , |
| #2taradusisMar 15, 2011 20:57:46 | Origin of New Orc. On an alternate earth an orc nation was defeated and the survivors scattered. Some sailed in viking style long ships and settled in Manhatten. Humans tracked them and conguered the new colony. The colony was called New Orcland or New Orc's Land and Novo Orcia,humans called it the the New Orc City. More creatures followed and New Orc City became the site of 13 colonies. Edit :as suggested by rustam, New Orc was the first of thirteen colonies. |
| #3taradusisMar 15, 2011 21:18:36 | Dwarves-Mainly useful as a sort of foil. Every dwarf is at heart a lawful good paladin. Hard working and dour,clan oriented ,short and broad,prone to going nutty with an axe? Perhaps give them access to warpigs? Nothing humanizes a character like a pet or mount. A motorcycle with a boarshead design could be interesting as well. Mac coppers Now what a city like New Orc needs is honest cops. Imagine if a clan of 400 dwarves moved from the scottish highlands to New Orc. They change their names from Raging Boars to Mac Coppers. They still use many scottish names and speak with a thick scottish accent. They still wear kilts,play bagpipes and play golf. Have a ceremonial unit that rides warpigs. Many were members of a british unit called SQUAT. Specially Qualified Underground Attack Troops serve Britain as guards for mining companies overseas and take on things that dwell in the depthes of the Earth,Dragons,devils,goblins,etc. An elderly dwarf often has trophies from the the good old days. |
| #4rustam1Mar 15, 2011 21:21:38 | more "creatures" ( like goblinoids or Dwarves and such? ) uhm, how'bout: New Ork City became the first of thirteen colonies. so, how's the humor angle fit in? |
| #5taradusisMar 16, 2011 21:50:35 | Sample dwarven Npcs. Phat Basterd Mac copper 4 feet tall and 600 lbs. Red hair and blue eyes. Based off the Austin Powers villain. Has an overweight warpig he rides on. He and "Pigasus" have eating contests. Phat's hobbies include golf,bagpipes and bribery. Under almost constant attention from IA. |
| #6taradusisMar 17, 2011 19:23:51 | Do more Heads equal more humor? Now in 2 Ed D+D we had Reaper minatures producing a three-headed ettin that looked like larry,moe and curly. In Savage Species we were given a Multi-headed template. This meant that many creatures could be made two-headed. So,add a head to a human being,he gains 2hd ,+2AC,each head controls one arm,free Multiweapon,no surprising. So, a two headed human could be twins like the Olson Twins. Would a two -headed human do advertising for the Doublemint Gum Co.? Suppose a husband and wife were turned into a two-headed beast, would they be hermaphrodites? Decency and the code of conduct forbid me from commenting on their love life. Would it be comedic to force two players who fight to play a two headed version of themselves? Could a team of 5-12 players play a hydra or naga-hydra? Each player could control a head and for a naga -hydra cast spells from a spell pool. The chaos from a large team trying to work a single monster would be educational. Just a few thoughts. |
| #7taradusisMar 18, 2011 21:23:44 | MERMAIDS. A fine addition to any non-desert enviroment. New Orc should be about 1% mermaid and possess an aquatic district a mile or two out in the harbor. FINS TO FEET In Stormwrack there was a spell Fins to Feet,this allows an aquatic creature like a Mermaid to trade her tail for legs. I would like the god Poseiden to grant this as an racial ability to all mermaids |
| #8taradusisMar 19, 2011 10:37:35 | Mermaids Part deux. MIGHTY BREATH Basically a Gust of Wind Spell modified into a breath weapon. A mermaid will get angry or upset. She will be to huff and puff till her chest is four times it's normal size,bursting free of her upperbody garments. The mermaid will then release her breath like a small tornado. I gotta ask you,whats more impressive than a mermaids Mighty Breath? For humor purposes this should happen to Pcs who date and act dis-respectful to a mermaid. A mugger could be dealt with by trident or Mighty Breath,a pc offers to help and gets blown away. An apartment would have pets blown up onto a ceiling fan,windows blown out and people going to the hospital for bruising? This would be the my girlfreind does'nt know her own strength gag? |
| #9taradusisMar 19, 2011 22:13:00 | Mermaids part tres- Some thoughts on mermaid love. Mermaids live to be about 40 and reach adulthood at age 4. A 4 year old being lacks the world experiance needed for a complex and meaningful relationship. Most early relationships for mermaids are probably one night stands. By age five though a mermaid begins to want a child. Since all memaids are female the only way they can reproduce is with a human male who's been magically transformed. THE BRINY KISS Also known as the sweet and salty taste of mermaid love. A suitable male is led for a late afternoon swim. The mermaid kisses the male at sunset. As the sun sinks below the horizon the male grows a tail and becomes amphibous. The transformation into merman lasts only untill sunrise. the mermaid leads the newly created merman to her egg chamber. She lays an egg in her egg basket,a device that warms and aereates the egg. The merman is encouraged to deposit silt on the egg. Upon doing this function the male will be led to the surface,he is transformed back to human by the suns early light. |
| #10taradusisMar 20, 2011 17:06:59 | MERMAIDS PART QUARTO-Some further errata on Mermaids,neatly sblocked for your veiwing pleasure. ALGAE BRA A bra that is made from magical algae. Is constantly moist and is comfortable for mermaids who work as cooks or in hot,dry areas. Kept in a pail when not in use. |
| #11taradusisMar 20, 2011 21:47:18 | Some possible Mermaid Npcs. Neptuna 32 year old great,great,great ,great grandmother. Has 2 children,4 grandchildren,8 great grandkids,16 great great grandkids,32 great great great grandkids and roughly 60 some odd great great great great grand kids. Owns the Blowfish Palace. Is rumoured to have had over 5000 lovers. Has 1 goldfish tattoo for every descendent or around 125 tattoos. As a youngster swam up the amazon river and has bite scars from a forty foot anaconda. Once caught a forty inch long blowfish. Thinking of retiring soon and searching for Atlantis. |
| #12taradusisMar 24, 2011 19:39:23 | PEACEFUL POND. A sidequest for when pcs need to leave New Orc till things cool down. Peaceful Pond is a small town that has a large lake. Recently developers built houses all around what was an undeveloped lake. A lot of these McMansions had mermaids as maids or mistresses and the Mermmaid population in the lake has grown from 5 to 36. Tensions are mounting. Factions are as follows. Town Guys. Used to visit the Mermaids and get a little bit of the old Splish Splash. Now there's more mermaids than ever but the rich dudes seem to be blocking access,Duuuuuude. The rich guys seem to be popular with some of the human women as well,mainly single guys seem to be in the developement. |
| #13taradusisMar 26, 2011 10:52:23 | More ettin thoughts. Now Ettins in D+D are too large for a city campaign. A two headed human or Ogre might be better. The Multi-headed Template from Savage Species basically grants a +2AC , +2 HD , Multi-weapon for free cause each head controls an arm ,Unable to surprise because heads swing in different directions , One head sleeps at a time . Would an ettin human crossbreed always produce a two headed being? Must the heads always be on the shoulders(Ettin drops his pants so you can talk to his little friend?). Do the heads both have to point forward,could one be directly behind the other? How about a sitcom inspired adventure? LAVERNE + SHIRLEY Now this is a great comedic duo. Give the heads discrete personalities. Laverne is loud and brash and does all the first 3 rounds of conversation. Shirly is shy and some how smarter(?) talks after Laverne is done . The Girls are constantly going on bad dates. Girls ocassionally get conned. Girls want to be better people and find true love. |
| #14taradusisMar 26, 2011 22:00:23 | THE EGGS-CHANGE, A nefarious organization. Imagine the scene,the pcs hear of a criminal organization is shipping an unlawful cargo thru a warehouse. they break into the warehouse and see stacks of what looks like egg cartons surrounding individual space heaters. If the pcs open a cartoon they find a dozen kobold eggs inside. The Eggshange is selling millions of dollars worth of kobold slaves to mining companies. Some eggs that the Eggschange might be into. GIANT EAGLE 5OOOO $ A 500 lb eagle when adult. Suitable as a mount or guard. Occasionally used as an omelet. Very rare. |
| #15taradusisMar 26, 2011 22:25:50 | PEGASI 40000 $ Mount and guard. A basically good creature. Eggs occasionally consumed. |
| #16taradusisMar 27, 2011 12:48:29 | CROCIDILES-LIZARDFOLK in D+D terms. Crocs in New Orc do not get a -2 to intelligence, provided they were born in New Orc and didn't migrate in from the "wilds". Crocs live in Croc houses, 60 adults, 30 children , 6 eggs and one leader,often a dragon,naga or yuan-ti. There are about 100 croc house in Croctown on the outskirts of New Orc. In this world I want males to be 5 ft and weigh 200 LBS. I want females to be 7 Ft. and weigh 250 Lbs. Crocs can live to be 200 years old,12 feet in length and weigh a ton. I would like this to be a matriarchial society ,unlike D+D which is normally patriarchal in nature. I want Semunya to still be their god of choice. |
| #17taradusisMar 27, 2011 17:00:07 | Further Croc thoughts. THE LAW In the eyes of the law Crocs can be excused some behaviour based on their instincts,such as mauling their attackers to death. They also get forgiven of murder if its part of a breeding duel,this is an instinctive and religious behaviour that the courts are reluctant to adjudicate. |
| #18taradusisMar 27, 2011 21:03:21 | A day in the life of Olive,a fairly typical croc. Olive wakes up in the morning , rising from a heated massage couch and going to the communal toilet. Leaving the toilet she heads to the kitchen for a breakfast of five lbs of meat,live or boiled piping hot depending on her mood. She hits the locker room and dresses in a fresh overall with an olive -colored sweater. She carries her other stuff in a backpack. She also puts on her whiffler,a device that fits in her jaws and allows her to perform CPR on a human,this goes on a chain around her neck. She catches the bus to a nearby bakery,she has some cooking skills but mainly does manual labor around the kitchen. They allow her to eat a gallon of used grease once a week and occasionaly give her some three day old baked goods. By croc standards this minimum wage job is worth it,food plus a paycheck for the tribe. On thursday olive does a 4 hour shift as a lifeguard and also pulls a full shift on saturdays. This pays better but no food,chlorine in the pool stings a little,but Olive likes teaching human children who look at her 7 foot tall,250 LB body with respect. Olive catches the bus home,sitting backwards to give her tired tailbone a rest. Olive hits the lockers at the crochouse,dropping off her stuff and putting dirty clothes in a hamper to be washed by the young children of the tribe. Olive hits the toilet,communally -owned and built for a croc's tail. Olive then goes upstairs to the kitchen and drops off any baked goods she didn't eat at the bakery. she eats another 5 lb meal. Olive goes down to the heated pool and swims for a few minutes and then places her head on the edge of the pool for a 2 hour snooze. Olive wakes up,goes for a potty break and has another 5lb snack. Olive then goes down stairs and hits the heated massage table for a 2 hour snooze. Olive awakens from snoooze #2, a dry one,pottybreak followed by 5 lb snack. Olive then takes a third snooze in the pool,pottybreak,kitchen snack. The fourth snooze is her last and is on a heated massage table where she gets an oil rubdown,this starts a new day. Sunday is a church day with some group activities led by the tribes adepts under the direction of a water nage who leads this tribe. |
| #19taradusisMar 29, 2011 21:48:40 | Mermaids part five- You say Poseidon and I say Poseiden Since I pronounce it Poseiden and also spell it Poseiden ,and since consistancy is the hobgoblin of small minds,I shan't change. |
| #20taradusisMar 31, 2011 19:49:29 | An adventure thought. "How the Cookie Crumbles."I would like to have some Keebler elves in this world,along with some cookie based monsters and themes. KEEBLER ELVES These are actually Tallfellow Halflings,everybody started calling them elves and it was too much of a hassle to wise them up so the halflings quit trying. Only the ruling family was named Keebler but everybody assumed they were one family so they eventually took the last name,often use city or town names now. |
| #21taradusisApr 02, 2011 22:29:50 | Some additional thoughts on "HOW THE COOKIE CRUMBLES". I would like to introduce a pc contact, a young and funny Keebler Elf,some one to help the Pc during this adventure and be a contact latter in the campaign. Cookie of the New Orc City Keeblers Young and pretty blond tallfellow halfling. A font of knowledge and spends a lot of time explaining stuff to the pcs. Owns a magical wand. Wand has a white shaft and what looks like a chocalate chip cookie on the end. Cookie can create any normal cookie she's ever seen if she makes a successful will check. Wand does not have charges. As part of adventure the cookie monster might kidnap Cookie and force her to produce one cookie after another? How many cookies can Cookie produce using the Cookie Wand at the behest of the Cookie Monster? |
| #22taradusisApr 03, 2011 14:17:42 | Another mixed-up adventure from the febrile brain of taradusis. "All We Are Is Dust In The Wind." This is a game of keep-a-way where the pcs are hired to transport a magic bottle containing the dusty remains of a master vampire. Vlad the Impalers Kid Brother Now most vampire fans know that the Dracula myth is based off the real life Vlad the Impaler. Vlad was sent as a child to live under the turks who had conquered Romania. What they don't know is that his younger brother Radu The Pretty was sent also. The turks in order to make puppet rulers would torture and abuse these boys. Vlad became stoic and hate-filled under the abuse,Radu the Pretty learned to enjoy the abuse. A common ploy was to slice open the chest and sip the young boys blood,this later became part of the vampire mythology. Both Vlad and Radu joined the Brotherhood of The Wolf,rumored to be werewolves. After being killed by other nobles both Radu and Vlad arose ,with Vlad asssuming the Dracula persona and mystique. Radu became a pretty yet dangerous fool. Radu wears a turban with a large ruby and a huge ostrich plume. Radu wears slippers that curl up and have tiny bells at the tip. Radu has long scarves that hang out of his sleeves and attempts to wave his arms about in an artful fashion. Radu has eyelashes that are almost 2 inches long and claims to have eyes that are prettier than a she- goats. Radu tends to demand that male Pcs compliment him. Radu tells female pcs to shut up or he'll eat their hearts. |
| #23taradusisApr 03, 2011 21:49:08 | All We Are Is Dust In The Wind, cont'd. This should be a chance to meet several vampire factions and tick them off. first encounter First the Drac Pack sends a noble dressed in black armor with a ghoul on a chain,he demands the bottle in the name of his dread master Dracula. |
| #24taradusisApr 16, 2011 17:48:25 | DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE KING KONG? Every so often you're going to have to come up with a side game. A player will fail to show. A player will forget to bring his character sheet,and you forgot to ask them to leave a spare. You forgot your adventure. whatever the reason you want something to play besides Monopoly. A side game is the answer. This side game is based off some thoughts I had about King Kong and Giant Ape Wrestling from Futurama. GIANT APES The pcs should be issued stripped down versions of Cloud Giants. Each Pc should get an identical Ape. |
| #25taradusisApr 16, 2011 21:52:03 | THE OLD CROSS-DIMENSIONAL MAGICAL PANTY RAID. The pcs are hired to steal magical panties from a witchy sorority. THE WITCHES A college sorority of evil witches. All between 17-25. All have large trust funds. All wear magical panties. All have goblinoid bodyguards. Number between 40-60. |
| #26taradusisApr 18, 2011 6:45:44 | HELP THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON IS IN MY BATHTUB. Now imagine the pcs come home to find their apt. is trashed and there are wet sounds coming from the bathroom. A jet black sahaugin has heard that the pcs are cross dimensional travellers. He leaves New Orc harbor. He finds their apt. He kicks in the front door. He smashes all the light bulbs,because he hates bright light. He goes to the bathtub because he's drying out. He comes out and says 'You Vill Elp Me". Do the pcs over re-act? |
| #27taradusisApr 21, 2011 19:40:24 | THELMA AND LOUISE, Love Conguers All. Now suppose in this world Thelma and Louise were real people and the movie with Susan Sarandon and Gina Davis was a fictionalised account of their life and supposed death. Now, when the car goes over the cliff thats supposedly the end of Thelma and Louise. For the sequel suppose it didn't end like that? the sequel (Love Conguers All) Begins with the car flipping thru the air. Gina and Susan are thrown from the car while still holding hands and land in a river. They swim to the surface with Gina's dress clinging to her amazonian form. T+L make it to the river bank and dry their clothes. They then head for mexico where they find work in a clinic for sick kids. Movie closes with susan smiling benificently at gina as she's surrounded by the kids who adore her. don't you just love a happy ending? THE MACHISMO GROUP The machismo group is a group of manly men who get together to ,in a manly fashion ,discuss their manly jobs, manly hobbies , sport'scars , weightlifting and who's not manly like them. evey so often they write a letter to some guy who's not manly,encouraging him to "man-up". |
| #28taradusisApr 23, 2011 8:39:52 | THELMA AND LOUISE(LOVE CONQERS ALL) Cont'd. Now,while male and female extremists are equally silly,I believe I would like to emphasize male silliness in this adventure. The Machismo Group should own a nice mansion. There should be oil paintings of Burt Reynolds,Shaq,Steve McQueen,Arnold Swartzenegger and other Manly Men on the walls. There should be some photos of feminists like Rosie O'Donnel,Whoopi Goldberg,Joy Behar with red crosses painted on them. The Meeting Room for Manly Men should feature a round table and heavy leather bound chairs. When the Manly Men enter they should circle the table chanting" Men Men Men,we're Manly Men....Men Men Men ,oh we're the Manly Men." The leader of the Manly Men should carry a large bulbuos -headed mace. There is no secretary for the Machismo Group, he's called the Record Keeper. |
| #29kronos182Apr 23, 2011 9:34:26 | Taradusis, you do make this one entertaining setting. Although I might not run a game in this world any time soon, it does make me laugh or smile anytime I see a post here. |
| #30taradusisApr 23, 2011 22:24:52 | Well,you know what socrates said "A little nonsense now and again is something appreciated by the wisest of men." Now,my next idea involves saddling the party with a pet and an officious censor. The pcs are sent back in time to attack a supervillains pre-historic lair,pretty standard stuff, right? While in the past the pcs confront and kill a maximum HD T.rex. After the Party leaves a baby T.rex comes out of the bushes and wails pathetically. This just goes to show that everytime the pcs kill something it has consequences. Apple Peaches PumpkinPie Louis Mcmaster Bujold invented a race called quaddies. Quaddies were genitically altered humans designed to live and work in space. Quaddies had two additional arms where a normal human would have legs. Quaddies were great natural mechanics,Perhaps born with a Craft Mechanical -4. Quadddies could live in zero G or low G enviroments without bone loss but collapsed under normal gravity. In the New Orcverse I want quaddies to come from an alternate future where after being created they're installed in a solar power collecting satellite. After 200 years of living and working in the satellite quaddie scientists create more and more technology for an increasingly hostile humanity. The situation is intolerable and the quaddies flee in the SPS ,moving it closer to the sun for increased energy for their ultra high tech society. Apple Peaches Pumpkinpie(Named by a random computer search) is born after the retreat of the quaddies and has been watching heros as a hobby. She transports the baby T.rex back home and modifies his intelligence so he can talk and gives him some basic ethical training to make him a "Good Guy". Apple then transports the T.rex to where the Pcs are now,Tells them they're responsible for raising Bambi Rex(named by Apple who has shown the Bambi Rex the Bambi movie.). |
| #31taradusisApr 24, 2011 9:04:19 | Since its easter how about a holiday thought or two. The Eggschange is a good source for wacky crimes. If it's run by Egghead he's always thinking up something. You're going to be the Octo-mom! The Eggschange kidnaps an elven pc or an elven NPC. They're going to use the elf as a surrogate mom for some thri-keen. The elf will end up with 8 thri-keen eggs inside him. A cure disease or eight hours of surgery can remove the eggs. If not the pcs probably dies as the thri-keen eat them inside out. |
| #32kronos182Apr 24, 2011 11:48:41 | Since it's Easter, what about Zombie Jesus? Although I can see not wanting to do it as might be seen as mocking some people's religious views.. Which I don't mean to offend anyone. Zombie Jesus vs Easter Bunny battle for a day or something? |
| #33taradusisApr 24, 2011 12:41:17 | In D+D jesus would on easter be an avatar or demigod? The easter bunny is probably a demigod or Legendary Beast. Hordes of Anthropomorhic rabbit men who sneak into children's bedrooms. Flocks of giant fluffy yellow peep chickens,some sort of golem. Chocolate bunnies. Jelly beans that are a hallucigenic drug? The old exploding easter egg gag? Easter lilies as some sort of Awakened plant monsters? Random thoughts. |
| #34kronos182Apr 24, 2011 13:00:30 | In D+D jesus would on easter be an avatar or demigod? The easter bunny is probably a demigod or Legendary Beast. Hordes of Anthropomorhic rabbit men who sneak into children's bedrooms. Flocks of giant fluffy yellow peep chickens,some sort of golem. Chocolate bunnies. Jelly beans that are a hallucigenic drug? The old exploding easter egg gag? Easter lilies as some sort of Awakened plant monsters? Random thoughts. Something on a more grandeur scale, definitely. Bets on who'd win a gladiatorial fight between Jesus and the Easter Bunny. Jesus' disciples vs rabbit men. Rides on the peep chicken golems for the kids! |
| #35taradusisApr 24, 2011 19:43:50 | The peeps allow the kids to have a few bites and offer a ride. When the kids are on board the peeps turn goooey and absorb the children. Pcs must be careful to not hurt entrapped children? |
| #36taradusisApr 24, 2011 20:20:29 | St Patricks Day Adventure. Since I love holiday adventures about some disjointed thoughts on a st. Paddy's day adventure. Overview New Orc is going thru a minor recession just like us. The Leprechauns decide to help by creating magical slippers fit for a queen. The entire city will search for the slippers on St.Patricks Day,fun for all,free -for -all. |
| #37taradusisApr 26, 2011 20:21:33 | Fourth of July Adventure. Another possible holiday bash. UNCLE SAM Insane spellcaster who has been appearing once every decade for over a century. Wears an red,white and blue top hat,tails and striped pants. Has a beef of some sort with trains or Iron Horses as he calls them. |
| #38taradusisApr 28, 2011 9:36:40 | DEATH TO ALL PIDGEONS. This is going to start as "Background'. The Reveal The Pcs will be gradually made aware that there's a lot of pidgeons in New Orc. Statues covered in guano. Flocks of pidgeons pestering people in the park.(A 500 lb pidgeon shows up?) The Pcs get splattered with guano. The pcs slip on a roof covered with guano. |
| #39taradusisApr 28, 2011 12:30:04 | HE'S JACK E. CLAIR,HE'S FRENCH AND DEBONAIR. role-playing Jack An atrocious french accent? Sort of a cross between peter sellers and maurice de cheveler(SP?). i reccomend watching the Pink Panther series and practicing in front of the mirror. |
| #40taradusisApr 28, 2011 18:59:05 | HORSING AROUND. A magical mystery. Centaur origins In ancient history a tribe of horsemen existed. The women die in some sort of plague while the men are out hunting. The men return and pray to the gods while clinging to their horses for support. The gods melded these creatures into one being that became known as centaurs. In New Orc this could exist as a curse? |
| #41taradusisApr 30, 2011 14:45:02 | MOGS OF NEW ORC. In the movie Spaceballs John Candy played a Mog. A mog is a part man/part dog and is his own best friend. There are a couple of possible sources for Mogs. Savage Species has 2 Anthropomorphic dogmen. D20 Modern has moreaus based off the Andrew Swain novels. I will use the Riding Dogs. |
| #42taradusisApr 30, 2011 15:00:26 | MOG STATS. Size and Type; Medium Humanoid. HD;2D8. LEVEL ADJUSTMENT;+2. STARTING EFFECTIVE CHARACTER LEVEL;4. ABILITY ADJUSTMENTS;+4 to STR,DEX,CON,and WIS. SKILL POINTS(2+intelligence mod)X5 NATURAL ARMOR+1 SPEED ;30' ALLEGIANCE;MOGKIND OR FAMILY. |
| #43taradusisApr 30, 2011 15:21:07 | MOG NOTES CONT'D. Making multiple posts today because first mog post went to random post heaven. NEW ORCIES Mayor Koch faced a petition to ban Pit Bulls. Mayor Koch objected calling it a class war. Poor people use Pit Bulls as home security,the petition signers were of a higher income. Mayor Koch launched a PR campaign to clean up the Pit Bull's reputation and renamed them New Yorkies. I think all the Mogs in New Orc should be called New Orcies in official documents. |
| #44kronos182Apr 30, 2011 16:25:32 | I just had a thought... why not reduce the bonus to one of the stats, and give them scent, to show off the more dog part, making them useful in not just as a form of home security, but also useful to hunters, police forces and bounty hunters? And maybe giving them a bite attack? |
| #45taradusisApr 30, 2011 21:57:13 | Been thinking of Alertness and Tracking feats from D+D. A bite attack would be ok,want to keep it weak. |
| #46taradusisApr 30, 2011 22:22:01 | A MOG AND HIS BONE ; A Mog adventure. overview A crazy group of mogs have been attacking skeletal beings and taking a legbone. |
| #47taradusisMay 07, 2011 10:48:41 | FROZEN CAVEMAN ANYONE? In the old days of Saturday Night Live there was a comedian named Phil Hartman. He had a comedy bit called "Frozen Caveman Lawyer". The bit was based around a thawed -out caveman who adapted to modern life by becoming a low-life ambulance -chasing shyster. This lawyer would always talk about ancient things like mastodons,then rapidly switch to compensation for his clients. FROZEN CAVEMAN POLICEMAN A cop who carries a Greatclub,goes ape? Comments" In the old days we had to avoid charging mastodons,your driving is almost as bad!". |
| #48taradusisMay 10, 2011 15:56:34 | FROZEN CAVEMAN PRESIDENT? It seems that anybody can be president,just like they said when I was a child. Now a frozen caveman running for president would face a few hurdles. First he'd get jokes about how cavemen are stupid,fortunately we in America will elect some pretty dumb politicians,not nearly the hurdle it should be. Secondly will be accusations that while he may have been born in America,it wasn't America at the time. If he has citizenship and /or human rights he should be Ok though it will be tossed into his face constantly as a tactic to show he's,you know, not one of us. Third may be comments about would you let your sister marry one,tough to answer,it may be possible that your sister ain't that pretty her own self? Still could appeal to conservatives based on he's the oldest guy in the party,a big deal to the GOP. If he showboats and waves his Greatclub around and threatens to bash taxes he could be a viable candidate. |
| #49taradusisMay 12, 2011 19:01:59 | THE INFINETLY DIVISIBLE TROLL or, IS HALF A TROLL BETTER THAN NONE. Now,trolls are very popular monsters with Dms. Suppose you laid a troll down on a tablle saw and cut it in half from head to crotch. If you seperate the two halves do they regenerate into two trolls? If you cut a troll cleric or adept in half would you get two spellcasters? Now,suppose you cut trolls in half every 25 days,about how long it takes a 500 lb troll to regrow to his full weight,although the missing arm and leg regrows in about a half hour or so. You could in a year create 4 or 5 thousand spellcasters? If a troll requires 80 lbs of dog food a day while regrowing their missing half,then this would mean 200 tons of dog food would be required for 5,000 trolls. Dog food would be easy to transport and store,too bad Purina doesn't make Troll Chow. Suppose this was a government plot and a half troll escapes. He hops down the street,meets the pcs and begs for help because madmen keep cutting him in half. Could a criminal organization sell troll adepts to other criminal organizations? How often do pcs meet the same troll before they realize whats going on,does the troll introduce himself? Suppose you had an automated factory with waldo's and troll pits, automatic feeding tubes like a gerbil has? |
| #50taradusisMay 14, 2011 6:37:15 | More Trollish thoughts. When a troll cleric is cut in half it should produce two clerics with their own access to their god's spells? Suppose you argued that each cleric has to establish a link to the god .force or philosophy they worship? This would mean that cutting a troll cleric in half produces two potential clerics who need to train and meditate to re-establish their link to Vaprak the Destroyer or who-ever? If the god in question just automatically grants access to divine magic does 5000 clerics being created cause the deity to take notice? Does a god get more powers from the increase in worship? Imagine a government base where they create and train 5000 troll clerics for covert work. Vaprak the Destroyer objects and sends an avatar formed from the power granted by all his new clerics. The avatar is armed with a greatclub. The avatar meets Frozen Caveman Cop. An arguement ensues. Suddenly two plug-uglies are bashing each other with clubs. "Welcome to the club." "We're having a Bash." Biff... Bam.. Bonk... if Frozen Caveman Prostituite gets involved it will be Boink not Bonk? just a few random thoughts. |
| #51taradusisMay 15, 2011 11:36:29 | Some thoughts on a trollish action team(TATS). TALIA A female troll cleric of Law. Carries a sawed-off shotgun. Wears an out-sized tactical vest with a patch on the back that can read 'Homeland Security..F.B.I or D.E.A. Has been brainwashed into following orders. Occasionally carries a steel truncheon. Freindly and polite,for a she-troll. |
| #52taradusisMay 15, 2011 17:03:27 | The fully Automated School or The Hal Center for Academic Studies. The Great Teacher Crisis I want New Orc to face the same sort of educational diffficulties we face. 40 years ago the Far Left promotes busing crisis or other social crisis to drive the social conservatives out of the big city schoool systems. The rising educational standards become a thing of the past and persistent decline sets in. In the big city schools it becomes virtually impossible to find a teacher who isn't a Burnout,Substance Abuser,Child Molester or Political Hack. Some time traveller brings back plans for a PL 7 TEACHERBOT. |
| #53taradusisMay 17, 2011 19:49:39 | MEDUSA MARIHUANA , EVERYBODY MUST GET STONED. The prolog Imagine a south american illeagle research facility. They are experimenting with a variety of magical substances which they dump into a Toxic and Magical waste dump. The scientists at this facility are Hipsters from the 60's. They have a plot of Marihuana which they have planted right next to the Toxic waste dump. The Hipsters smoke the strange weed and become petrified. The authorities investigate and the soldiers smash the statues to peices and fire bomb the facility to cover up a host of misdeeds. Unfortunately the Hipsters have shared their crops with a freindly Hobbit. |
| #54taradusisMay 21, 2011 20:08:23 | INCUBUS DREAMS,An adventure of lost virtue in the big city. I would like this adventure to be a sort of WKRP IN CINCINATI meets ROSEMARY'S BABY leads to the DEMON YRTAGRAN BY DC COMICS. INCUBBUS THOUGHTS Now in midevil times society was male dominated and Succubi Demons devoted most of their efforts to bringing down powerful and good men. In modern times women are roughly the equal of males and a Succubi could spend more effort on ruining women. A succubi turned male is known as an Incubbus. The preferred method of destroying a good woman is to seduce them and give them an illegitemite and half fiend child . |
| #55taradusisMay 26, 2011 19:55:40 | FRANCIS HOOLIGAN-A character assassin. AXE In the Myth Inc series there was a minor character called the Axe. The Axe was a dwarf of sorts with talents as an Elementist. She was inserted into a team and caused havoc for a while in order to ruin the reputation of the team leader. |
| #56taradusisMay 27, 2011 20:21:16 | HOOLIGANism. First Francis will offer to accompany the Pcs on adventures. He will attempt to sabotage the Pcs relationship with authorities,pointing out any vigilante acts with subtlety. This is what I call the Toxic Bard routine. Then francis will try to drive off Npcs the party depends on,mechanics,weaponsmiths,snitches,lovers and Etc. When discovered Francis will go with a tell all book and a physical assualt with the Ugly Stick. |
| #57taradusisMay 29, 2011 13:13:47 | SPIKE -DONE-IT. Kickin it old school Now in the old days I used to read Ellery Queen Mystery. These were not only books but a monthly mag like Analog Science Fiction. One of my favorite stories is where the hero/detective knows that Butch or Dutch killed some one but half the guys in town are nicknamed butch or dutch. So it's no longer a who-dun-it but a which-one -dun-it? |
| #58taradusisMay 29, 2011 20:19:11 | THERE WERE GIANTS IN THOSE DAYS!!!!! This adventure should start off slow with Pcs hearing about a dig that has found huge skeletons at an archeological dig. The pcs should hear about 60 foot spears. The Pcs should hear about a huge column with glyphs written on it. There should then be a media blackout. The pcs should hear a rumor about a "Big Find". The pcs should be roped into following a dump truck that has the big find. The Bowling Ball of Doom. A 80 pound ball with iron bands. Has three holes like a bowling ball. Basically just a masterwork throwing stone created by giants. The giant ruler carried this as a symbol of his authority. Entire job is a sting for arms dealers. |
| #59taradusisJun 04, 2011 21:53:54 | LEGAL AID. At the end of every adventure what do Pcs need? A trip to the hospital probably. This should be followed by legal activity? Many Pcs are advanced troubleshooters,they keep shooting till they get into trouble. So,like the song says,"Send Money,Guns and Lawyers...." Possible lawyers might include. Ally Mcbeal a cute young female who always wears short skirts.. |
| #60taradusisJun 05, 2011 9:16:19 | Another possible lawyer could be; jennifer banner A cousin to bruce banner. Specializes in superhero law. Transforms into the She-hulk. |
| #61taradusisJun 19, 2011 15:48:06 | AN ELECTORAL CAMPAIGN. A small town near New Orc has a hot mayoral campaign every 2 years. This town should be 40% donkey men from Savage Species. Another 40% could be Elephant men from Savage Species. The remaining 20% should be a variety of voting blocks. Now since the donkeys vote for the donkeys,and the elephants vote for the elephants,the entire campaign will revolve around who can win the most little voting blocks to their cause. A parody of american politics,how much effort needs to be done to make it absurd,the daily newspaper has plenty of sub-plots and scandals to offer? |
| #62taradusisJun 26, 2011 7:31:58 | ****ES OF THE WORLD UNITE. onagermen stats Page 215 of Savage Species. Medium sized monstrous humanoid. HD of 2D8+2 or 11HP. Iniative of +1. Movement of 30'. AC of 13(+1 DEX.,+2 Natural)Touch 11,Flat-footed of 12. Attacks;+2 melee bite, +2 melee weapon,or ranged +2 weapon. DAMAGE; 1D2 bite or by weapon. FACE/REACH 5FT/5FT. SPECIAL QUALITIES;DARKVISION 60',LOWVISION,SCENT. SAVES;fort+1,ref+4,will +4. Abilities; Str.10,dex 13, con 12, int 11,wis 13, cha 8,. SKILLS ;Balance of +3 with an +2 racial bonus,Listen+6,Spot +6,may vary in a civilised setting? ALLEGIANCE; Donkey man race,Good. In D+D their preffered class was druid. In modern they should be evenly split between Fast and Dedicated heros? |
| #63taradusisJun 26, 2011 7:49:32 | Donkeymen NPCS. I would these to be based loosely off notable Democrats. Loud and braying in their speech. Confident of their opinions to the point of smug self -righteousness. Try hard to be smartest creature in the room and occasionally succede,just not as often as they think. Win the Mayor's position about 25% of the time,due to poor organization and too many egomaniacs competing for the position. Constantly promoting changes to government that are expensive as hell. Like many politicians talk about morality rather than practice some. |
| #64taradusisJun 30, 2011 18:54:16 | An electoral campaign part 4.....MEET THE CLINTLOCKS. I'd like the primary donkey men family to be the Clintlocks. JACK CLINTLOCK A former mayor of the town. An economics professor who can make any radical economic idea seem plausible. Perhaps the smoothest talker in town. Is incapable of being loyal to his wife ,during election can be counted on to embarass and upstage his wife. |
| #65taradusisJul 03, 2011 7:27:41 | Rough stats on elephantmen. rough stats Large size monstrous humanoid. 3D8 HD. +2 level adjustment. Starting ecl of 5. ABILITY BONUSES;STR +12,DEX+2,CON,+6,WIS+4. SKILL POINTS[2+INT MOD]X6. NATURAL ARMOR+7. SIZE MOD-1. MOVE 30. ALLEGIANCE ELEPHATMAN RACE AND LAW. In D+D tend to be barbarians. In New Orcverse tend to dedicated or strong heros. |
| #66kronos182Jul 03, 2011 8:08:15 | Rough stats on elephantmen. |
| #67taradusisJul 03, 2011 9:54:12 | It hopefully wouldn't matter in a humor campaign. The stats are drawn from Savage Species. Still a -2 dex and a level +3 adjustment would probably be in order if you add in the trunk and tusk attacks the males will be getting. |
| #68taradusisJul 03, 2011 20:03:56 | Elephantman thoughts. The two words that best sum up the Pachyderms is "HERD MENTALITY". Elephantmen consider it an insult to be called an original thinker. The Pachyderm Party is run entirely on ideas that are at least 50 years old(So's the donkey man party,but they like to change the brand name every few years). Every position in the Pachyderm Party is filled by senoirity,even an old cow elephantman will be considered based off her age,not her gender. drunkeness Personel Propriety Presents Perenial Problems for Proud Participants in The Pachyderm Party;the elphantmen can drink or take drugs in quantities that would kill a human,and once high take a long time to come down. An elephatman who is sick to his stomach is vomiting 4 times the human norm. This means an elephantman could drink more than george bush and ted kennedy combined and be a bigger mess doing it,kind of hard to ignore the 800 lb. elephantman in the room. |
| #69taradusisJul 16, 2011 21:30:00 | An electoral campaign. Meet the Tusk family. The Tusks head up the towns Agricultural Council. The Tusks own 75% of the towns farmland. The Tusks make up 75% of the towns police force. The Tusks are considered a little dumb by Elephantman standards. |
| #70taradusisJul 23, 2011 11:40:12 | LOST IN THE SMURFACHOBEE SWAMP. This is Rednecks vs. Green necks vs. Bluenecks. In brief this will be a multi-sided feud the pcs get sucked into,sort of a fantasy version of Deliverance? THE RED NECKS The usual collection of inbred humans with names like billy bob. Led by "witchy women' who are actually priestesses of the egyptian goddess Bast. The priestesses should be cat like and C/G, base one of Halle Berry's Catwoman. Teams of humans using Fanboats, armed with shotguns. |
| #71taradusisJul 24, 2011 10:20:20 | How do the pcs get dragged into the Smurfachobee swamp? The pcs receive a fed ex package. It consists of a small 3" wide base with a big button on the side. When the pcs press the button a 6" inch tall blue figure rises from the base and says,'Help me,you're our only smurfing hope!,". The figure is Smurfette dressed up to look like princess Leia as Luke Skywalker first saw her. Smurfette is not a hologram but actually had herself Fed-exed across the country? |
| #72taradusisJul 31, 2011 17:38:23 | Rn vs. Gn vs, Bn. Cont'd. When the pcs get to the Smurfachobee swamp they attract the attention of the Rednecks. The pcs should be spotted with Smurfette and a few Bast followers should intervene and try to rescue Smurfette. First a musical group based off Josie and the ****cats sics a mob of billy bob types on the pcs. Then the preistess of Bast based off Catwoman/Halle Berry tries to whip the pcs into shape. The whip does non-lethal damage so maybe Catwomen gets to win with Smurfette speaking up for the pcs? |
| #73taradusisAug 06, 2011 1:28:02 | SOME THOUGHTS ON SMURF REPRODUCTION-Smurfs seem to have a male to female ratio of about 300-1. When she reaches a certain age a young Smurfettes body begins to go thru changes. her body swells slightly as it creates hundreds of eggs. Smurfette begins to exude an irriestable odor that draws almost every male smurf to her. Smurfette and the smurfs begin to mate and groups of about 20 eggs are enlivened every 20 minutes or so. Only the largest and toughest males get to reproduce with a previous generation being uninterested. After all eggs are enlivened smurfette begins to eat heavily and is less attractive to the males. After about a week of eating smurfette picks a lair and crawls inside it to die. The male smurfs hover outside the birthing chamber. The eggs continue to grow and the young hatch and eat Smurfettes body. These 300 or so young begin to grow and one of them will ,within the year become Smurfette. The old males cannot survive without their Smurfette and half of them die every year due to a lack of hormones and endocrines that only their Smurfette could provide. The smurfs grow and the last surviving member of the old generation becomes papa smurf. |
| #74taradusisAug 21, 2011 18:42:47 | RN v GN v BN cont'd. The pcs should end up with the Blue necks or Smurfs next. The male Smurfs need Smurfette to survive so they will put a lot of guile to sending the pcs to confront the Green Necks while seperating Smurfette from them. |
| #75taradusisSep 11, 2011 19:05:10 | And finally the green necks. SOBEK Followers I would like the sobek priests to use Khopeshs from the deities handbook. I would like the head priest to have a mesmerizing or charming glare. I would like Bambi Rex or a friendly Crocman turn on the pcs as a result of this look. The Sobek followers should have tall feathered headresses. |
| #76taradusisSep 17, 2011 18:03:54 | SUPPOSE THEY OPENED THE DOORS TO TO HELL,IF ONLY FOR JUST ONE DAY? Roxbury Ghetto Now,I live near the 10 Billion dollar Roxbury Ghetto that was built outside of Boston. About untill a decade ago the local political machine would go into the Roxbury ghetto and throw a Ball. At this ball they would hand out scholarships,plaques and good citizenship medals. You could see a rich socialite hand out a 10,000 dollar scholarship while wearing a Halstein Original gown,you know basically a PR event with most of the money being spent on self-aggrandizing fools. I always referred to this as the Devil letting people out of Hell to show he's not such a bad guy after all. |
| #77taradusisSep 17, 2011 21:54:15 | HELLS DOORS ARE OPENING, Cont'd. Now Hells Headquarters is a complex of buildings devoted to creating Hell on Earth. The Devil's Own Disco Has been in operation for decades and pretty much acts the way a disco always does;loud music,cheap drugs and sleazy sex. |
| #78taradusisSep 24, 2011 9:57:02 | PINKY AND THE BRAIN RULE OVER ALL. The WB network had this cartoon about two mice who were brain-enhanced. Every night they would escape from their cage and try to rule the world. I liked this show because I have a thing for world domineering plots. AWAKEN Now in D+D we have the Awaken spell. I consider Awaken a versitile DM tool for adding intelligence to animals and plants. This is usually done by a druid who puts a peronality overlay onto the recipient granting sentience and knowledge of langauge skills possesd by the druid. In the spell description it doesn't say if this IQ boost is genetically transferrable to offspring. Suppose a fast breeding species like mice were given sentience? If half the offspring inherited and were more likely to survive to reproduce what would happen? |
| #79taradusisOct 04, 2011 22:30:07 | LIVING IN A XEROX WORLD or PLEASE SEND IN THE CLONES. Now, in New Orc there's going to be a blend of Super Science and Eldritch Sorcery. The goal of many sorcerors and mad scientists is teleportation. Magic seems to teleport relatively cleanly,with an occasional error where you end up in a wall or Limbo. Science seems to vary in it's effects. Take Star Trek,you step onto a platform,a beam of energy analyzes and converts you to energy and you're beamed someplace. Suppose you varied this? A beam of energy hits you,you're soft-scanned and uploaded to a computer,the computer uses energy to beam a duplicate of you some where,the original steps off the disk and goes on about his business. Some questions? Can the computer file be used to make copies of you,provided you have the energy. It might cost 3 million to to make a copy. A starship could have 300 living crewmembers and 20,000 files? Imagine if the Enterprise flew around with files of 20,000 expert colonists,they could find a planet and download these 20,000 experts 40 or 50 times on different continents. You could store a 20th level warrior with cyborg parts and beam your Terminator in to deal with recalcitrint locals. Store an expert at dealing with plagues, beam them into a plague area by the thousands? A doctor with M.A.S.H. could do a lot of good. HUMOR NEXT. |
| #80taradusisOct 09, 2011 1:14:05 | LIVING IN A XEROX WORLD cont'd. THE BLACK OSCARS There was a year when Halle Berry and Denzel Washington both won Oscars and Hollywood was all abuzz about how this was going to change how hollywood treated black actors. What actually happened was Denzel got 2X the normal offers while Halle got 3 UPS trucks worth of offers,many that would have to be re-written for a black female lead. |
| #81taradusisOct 15, 2011 15:26:16 | Now,suppose a mad scientist creates a teleporter/duplicator and he decides to make a little dough. evil plot 1 Sell copies as a means of raising cash and to have sleeper agents in other organizations. This would mean that no matter what evil force acheived world domination you'd be on the winning side? |
| #82taradusisOct 22, 2011 21:17:24 | LIVING IN A XEROX WORLD , PART FOUR. Duplicating a cleric,is it possible? Now each cleric has a connection to a god , force or philosophy. This connection is formed during training and clerical spells and holy abilities like undead turning are granted. Eventually a cleric will be getting higher level abilities and spells from an emmisary of the god? Can a science based teleporter duplicate the holy energies that suffuse a cleric? Can any teleporter duplicate a relic like the Holy Grail? If you make 50 copies of one of Poseidens Mermaid clerics does he automatically grant them holy access? New Orc probably has a high level preistess of Poseiden,how does her standing change with 50 copies to contend with? Would a preist allow fifty copies to be made to fight a Zombie or Vampire outbreak? Could you teleport Holy Water into Hell? |
| #83taradusisOct 25, 2011 22:33:51 | LIVING IN A XEROX WORLD PART FIVE. Now when you scan a person using the teleporter you have a stored copy of them. Suppose you could isolate a section of the person like a knee? If a person has a bad knee a surgeon could modify the image of the stored knee,could the old knee be teleported out while the new knee was teleported in? Could you modify a persons facial image and teleport in a new head covering the old skull? Could you custom design organs and teleport them into the body? Could you teleport a bullet out of the body while teleporting in a repaired area? Suppose you magnified and teleported a stored head,would the 200 lb head have a last word before expiring? Suppose a psycho has a copy of the Pc's face put on and commits crimes or indescretions? Could you start a "Seniors League" of retired football players who had their bum knees replaced? The old pro's would like the new salaries that have expanded greatly over the past decade or so. |
| #84taradusisOct 27, 2011 12:11:27 | LIVING IN A XEROX WORLD PART SIX. Some thoughts on creating a perfect **** super race. Now first you need a crazy billionaire or two to fund this project. search criteria Blonde. Light colored eyes. Fair of skin. Over six foot and two inches in height. Must be tested for Strength , Dexterity , Constituition , Intelligence , Wisdom and Charisma scores ,should be straight 18 's across the board. Look for surviving grandparents and relatives who live past 90,this indicates good genes and longevity. No pre-existing conditions like Diabetes, cancers,alcoholism and etc. |
| #85taradusisNov 05, 2011 20:38:12 | THE NUDE BOMB. This was a spy spoof movie about a plot to destroy america by reducing us to naked savages. THE DENIM SHOWER Now,America has a real love of Blue Denim items. Most households have over a hundred pounds of denim dresses,pants,shorts,overalls and etc. imagine a shower -like device that contains nanites that drop down and assemble and dis-assemble your denim outfits. You would probably need about thirty pounds of denim threads one inch in length and graduated in color from white to light blue to dark blue in order to get all colors. you might need 10 pounds of metal zippers,buttons,comfort stretch sections and etc. At night you would toss your jacket and pants in the Denim Shower so they could be dis-assembled and cleaned. inthe morning you load your choice into the computer and step inside the shower while the nanites crawl up your body and custom fit your selections to your body. A dress or jacket program should cost about 99 cents. Programs should be capable of modification to put in strategic rips and cuts. |
| #86taradusisNov 19, 2011 10:56:37 | LIVING IN A XEROX WORLD PART SEVEN. Leonardo Davinci might be interesting to duplicate. There are some drawings of Davinci and these could be used to generate the proportions of Davinci's frame. His grave could be found and a DNA sample extracted. A computer could generate the internals of the body. The DNA sample is used to generate this abstract copy of Davinci. This gives you a chance to see if genius is a function of nature or nurture. If you found the right Dna and genius is in the Dna what would Davinci make with modern technology? |
| #87taradusisNov 26, 2011 12:20:29 | WHAT DOES A THRIKEEN HAVE FOR THANKSGIVING or WHY DO CANNIBALS LOVE THE CHUBBY? Now I live in a suburb with coyotes. These coyote no longer chase rabbits, they go after overweight cats. Now we live in a world where many humans weigh twice what they should and couldn't run to save their lives. A 3oo Lb human should appear to a cannibal much like a plump 300 Lb pig appears to us. Suppose an organization of chubby peoiple notices that a serial killer is targeting overweight victims and hires the pcs to investigate? THE LARGE AND IN CHARGE CLUB This club is for grossly overweight millionaires. The clubhouse has several diningrooms and meeting rooms with computers for stock market displays. You must be worth 3 million and weigh twice what a doctor thinks you should to be considered for membership. |
| #88taradusisDec 13, 2011 22:30:39 | DIE , PARIS HILTON , DIE! Now in our world Paris Hilton has turned being a rich,white,fool into a way of life. Suppose that Paris existed in the New Orcverse? Here's the plot for this adventure. Paris goes around getting herself into the tabloids and it drives some of her relatives nuts. Her relatives have a meeting with her father and demand that he not leave his CEO position to Paris due to her incompetence. Her father refuses claiming she's just sowing a few wild oats before settling down. The Hiltons go away dis-satisfied. One of the Hiltons uses an anonymus dead drop to hire the pcs to off Paris. If the pcs meet Paris does she beg for life,offer money and sexual favors? If the pcs agree to help Paris and keep her alive how difficult is it? Does the assassination service send other hitmen? This would be a chance to create oddball assassins? If all of Paris Hiltons relatives despise her how hard is it to figure out who put out the contract? If the pcs succede in saving Paris do they get to stay at Hilton hotels for free for the rest of their lives? Does Paris want to have a 2 year celebrity marriage with one of the pcs? |
| #89taradusisDec 17, 2011 21:34:50 | DIE , PARIS HILTON , DIE !!! PART TWO--Now an additional complication with Paris is how much attention she occasionally gets from the papparatzi. At one time almost 100 people were following her 24/7. People broke into her house and planted listening devices. One of her servents was beaten and threatened for info. Paris was chased and fled up an off ramp . Her cell phone was stolen and stripped of celebrity numbers and e-mails. Will the pcs have to show restraint with this many camera's on them? |
| #90taradusisDec 18, 2011 16:11:17 | THE UPLIFT CENTER FOR SENTIENCE RESEARCH, Now this should be an organization that is searching for a way to create intelligent life. In D+D the Awaken spell works quite well. A science based approach might blend 97% human DNA with 3% animal Dna to create Moreaus. Savage Species contains a lot of Anthropomorphic races to expand the list of possible Moreaus. Suppose as well you had a virus similar to what creates lycanthropes but merely creates intelligence and the ability to speak in animals. Following the Cube Root law and noting that only mammals have complex brains could give you new races of talking animals? Perhaps a one shot , scientific version of lycanthropy could be created with someone being" stuck" in wolf- man form for humerous purposes? |
| #91taradusisDec 25, 2011 9:28:41 | PROHIBITION PART DEUX. Now , in America we had a dry period brought to us by right wing religous types. In New Orc I'd like to have the Left Wing , Politically Correct types get all hot about substance abuse and spark research into the evils of alcohol. ALCOHOL NANITES-NANNIES Now a nanite could be designed that targets and processes alcohol at a fast speed. This would mean you become hungover after drinking,with a short period of being drunk for just a minute or two. Most of the alcohol cures result in nausea as a control method. This causes problems with dehydration and the possibility of choking to death on your own vomit. |
| #92taradusisJan 01, 2012 13:00:18 | SABRINA VS. EVIL SABRINA. I would like an adventure arc where Sabrina the Teenage Witch has to take on her evil twin. witches as reality. In New Orc I'd like there to be reality shows. Sabrina Spellman has a show about how her family curse keeps her from seeing her parents,and requires her to live with her aunts Hida and Zelda. Tabitha Stevens has a show about how she's the product of a mixed marriage , Human and Witch. Perhaps Bewitched could be loosely based off the stevens household? |
| #93taradusisJan 01, 2012 16:36:27 | Sabrina vs Evil Sabrina Cont'd. Some thoughts on personalities. Sabrina Spellman Blonde, cute teenager. Played by Melissa Joan Hart in our world. Cursed to not see her parents because if they see her , they'll turn into a ball of wax. A begining witch in New Orc. |
| #94taradusisJan 07, 2012 21:31:25 | Sabrina Vs. Evil Sabrina , cont'd. Now a villain needs some work. How about some magic items for Evil Sabrina? Hand-gun Now there was an episode where Sabrina split and had to face the Petulant Kid, an evil version of hersel wearing a cute black cowgirl outfit and armed with a Hand-gun. The Handgun looked like a hand set on a handle. It was fired by pointing,like a child pointing his finger and saying "Bang". I'd like Evil sabrina to carry a hand-gun that squirts un-holy water,with a range 120 feet. This Unholy water smells and tastes unpleasent. Evil sabrina uses this to squirt into open mouthes,puts out candles on cakes and in church,mainly for harrassing people. |
| #95taradusisMar 18, 2012 14:17:01 | Sabrina vs. Evil Sabrina Cont'd. would the real sabrina spellman please stand up? For the dramatic conclusion I'd like to see a battle royale. Now in the movie Zorro The Gay Blade there's a governor's ball where everyone shows up dressed as Zorro. Zorro sends out an invitation to everyone in the governors name insisting they show up as Zorro. It causes a massive amount of confusion. So suppose Sabrina gets a death threat and not only do she and Evil Sabrina show up in the outfit but Hilda and Zelda also show up disguised as Sabrina. Perhaps Salem and some of Sabrinas friends disguise themselves as well? Could some of the Pcs be convinced to go as Sabrina as well? |
| #96taradusisMar 25, 2012 20:25:31 | THE LAW OF POINTY HATS. Now as we all know governments do a lot for us. They tax us so we won't have too much money to waste on Porn ,Booze or sports channels. They get us into wars so we won't get too numerous. They build huge ghettos so the poor will be with us always. And last but by no means least these fools generate rules for us to live by even though they're not that good at running their own damn lives. The New Orcverse features a law that says that all female spellcasters have to wear a pointy hat of black or white to show whether they're a good witch or a bad witch. This law is actually followed by about 90% of all witches. punishments used to include a death penalty but now just involve fines. Imagine an undercover cop asking a female pc if she's a good witch or a bad witch. |
| #97taradusisApr 19, 2012 21:23:29 | Some thoughts on Wendy the good witch. Dresses in red with pointy hat and flying broom. Owns a wand of wonder. Her mother is a wicked witch and is a coven with her 12 wicked sisters. Wendy is friends with Casper the freindly ghost. Tends to get into fixes because of Casper and will be rescued by the wicked witches. |
| #98taradusisApr 26, 2012 10:07:04 | Some thoughts on Willow and Anya , the freindly witches of the Whedonverse. Now Anya is as much a sorceress as a mage and had more experiance than Willow though Willow has since outstripped Anya. Anya has a great deal of faith in Willow. Willow is something of a Technosavant and often tries to combine her love of computers with magic. Willow might carry 3000 grimoires on her kindle. Willow and Anya are inseperable and sleep in the same bed at night, no doubt for self -defence reasons. |
| #99taradusisApr 28, 2012 17:46:36 | Some thoughts on covens. A coven is a group of witches. Some covens include male witches called Warlocks. Traditionally a coven always incudes an odd number of witches. Some covens insist on recruiting new members in pairs to keep the numbers odd,also insist on replacing lost members to keep the numbers odd. Some spellcasters form circles,these are usually a small guild interested in sharing an alignment or knowing the same school of magic. Most covens are exclusive with members belonging for life. Some coven members will infiltrate other covens or secretive organisations. |
| #100taradusisMay 17, 2012 20:09:28 | Now , the evil witches are probably led by Baba Yaga. Evil witches probably outnumber the good,especially in areas of persecuition. For fantasy/humor purposes should Russia be a evil empire? Could Baba Yaga lead an invasion in her dancing hut by dancing it over the North Pole? How many lesser witches can fit in her hut being as how it's larger on the inside than the outside? Would the pcs be able to distract Baba Yaga with a baby sacrifice(actually a pig in wrappings)? if this adventure goes badly the pcs will earn the hatred of every wicked witch in the world,the Dust in the Wind scenario earns hatred of the vamps,how big does the enemy list get for humor purposes? |
| #101taradusisMay 20, 2012 20:40:58 | What sort of humor comes from a really big woman? The movie "attack of the 50 foot woman" was funny. The movie Aliens vs Monsters featured Ginormica a girl who grew after being exposed to a glowing comet. Does a 50 foot woman have people looking up her skirt? Does a 50 foot woman anger men who are wife-beaters or misogynistic? What sort of personel ad does Ginormica post," Woman with worlds largest breasts looking for meaningful relationship, No fatties or weirdos?" How does a huge woman get fed? Only a rich man can afford 100 meals at a time for his date. Does kotex make an insert in exchange for sponsership? Could Ginormica compete in the Olympics? Could there be a super wrestling League? Who does Ginormica wrestle,King Kong,or perhaps a team of ettins or ogres? |
| #102taradusisJun 09, 2012 17:54:13 | Fun with beauty pageants. Now suppose New Orc has a beauty pagent where the winner gets to pick any spouse they want? Who does a female Pc pick? The richest guy in town? Another Pc who's reluctant but legally required? Does the Pc strike a blow for gay rights and marry another female? Suppose a woman wins and wants to marry a PC? Could the Pcs be hired as security for the Pageant? |
| #103taradusisJul 08, 2012 14:32:27 | Perhaps some thoughts on religion? A good god related problem can be quite humerous. Perhaps a god like the Great God Moolah. Some commandments for followers could be gleaned from the Ferengi Rules of Accquisition. Now a god of wealth tends to have nice churches and a powerful clergy. Quotable Ideas; Money Talks. Happiness is a positive cash flow. Who says money can't buy happiness. Once you have their money never give it back. All sales are final. Caveat Emptor. |
| #104kronos182Jul 08, 2012 16:03:59 | Exploitation starts at home.. I actually used to have a copy of the rules of aquisition, but lost it in one of my many moves. |
| #105taradusisJul 09, 2012 22:37:34 | And they only revealed 1/4 of the Rules. Would churches to Moolah be Pyramid -shaped and recruit like a pyramid scheme? Do nut-bags try to "Occupy" the church and does the church react violently? Does the Church of Moolah back slavery? How tough to break is a marriage contract written by the Church of Moolah,could they be magically enforcable with something like Maruts? Does the church of Moolah create it's own currency? Does the Church collect tithes? |
| #106taradusisJul 15, 2012 12:40:15 | The Ferengi rules of Acquistion are available on kindle. All followers of Moolah dress well and wear a symbol based off currency , on earth , in america,we'd wear a dollar sign with diamond chips? |
| #107taradusisAug 25, 2012 18:40:16 | Speaking of gods. Grumsh or Old One Eye probably still active in New Orc. Does some of the money show a double-headed axe or a single eye? Is there a motorcycle gang that plucks out an eye during iniation. How much orc does it take to make human into an 1/2 orc? Does an 1/2 elf get treated with more respect? Are orcs limited in their social mobility? Is there a magazine like PlayOrc? Do orcs have the right to vote in the city they founded? |
| #108taradusisOct 06, 2012 20:47:49 | BIG , GIANT , FLOATING HEAD or BGFH. A BGFH is created in a variety of ways. The most powerful is probably a disembodied storm giant. A storm giant is attacked and beheaded. The head has a magic collar attached. The collar allows speech,negates the need for food and allows omnidirectional flight of 20' ,the collar also creates immortality. The storm giant should still be able to swim and cast spells of weather and such. Imagine the BGFH is the boss of the party and sends them on missions. When the party questions the BGFH's orders it speaks in a thunderous voice saying "OBEY ME" ,perhaps letting off a thunderbolt into the scenery? |
| #109taradusisOct 28, 2012 9:30:24 | Beany Cop. Yet another oddball cop to pester the Pcs with. When I was a kid they had a Cecil and The Seasick Sea serpent cartoon. The kid wore a cap with a propellor on top. So, a cop has a beanie cap. It allows him to fly at 90 miles an hour. The cop assumes the seated position. He twirls his propellor and takes off. He holds an imaginary joysick and twisting his hand allows him to manuever. He has a radio or bluetooth for communication. He has two flashing blue lights on his shoulders. Imagine the Pcs commit a crime and the beanie cop pulls up next to them and gesticulates at them to pull over.. |
| #110taradusisNov 17, 2012 20:36:45 | The Nude Marshal. Imagine that a man is raised as a nudist as a child. He grows up and moves to the big city and trains to be a cop. He serves faithfully for years but eventually remembers his childhood and begins to strip down. First he gets rid of his shirt,perhaps spreading a story that parasites like the Puppeteers from Heinleins novel are taking over people and getting others to strip. Perhaps he then strips down to speedos. He eventually end up fully nude. At what point do people realize the marshal has gone nuts? In real life streakers occasionally get away because cops are reluctant to tackle a naked guy. Do the Pcs have what it takes to tackle an armed naked guy? What happens if the nude marshal handcuffs a Pc ? Do people who stripped down get angry and mob the nude marshal? Just some naked and exposed thoughts. |
| #111taradusisNov 18, 2012 8:31:05 | Some ideas on a Grinch mini-campaign. The pcs hear of the Grinch and have to chase him all over town trying to stop him/return presents. GRINCH He should have a vampires spiderclimb and charming gaze. |
| #112taradusisJul 20, 2013 18:35:33 | Picture this. A skeleton walks into a fast food place and starts ordering like mad. "Give me a number 2 , give me a number 3." "Supersize everything." As the counterman stares the skeleton yells" HURRY UP , CAN'T YOU SEE I'M STARVING HERE!". Suppose yoou had a defective invisibilty ring? It makes your flesh disappear but reveals your skeleton. Good for April Fools and Halloween. Commit crimes and escape detection, unless you got a distinctive dental array? |
| #113taradusisAug 04, 2013 0:00:04 | Timmy and Lassie , Together Again. LASSIE Pick out a nice big wardog. Awaken it so it speaks and has human-like intelligence. An animal that gains human-like intelligence gains about 7 skill points per HD. These can be devoted to skills like spot,search,Etc. that make it 2-4 times the predator it used to be. |
| #114taradusisAug 24, 2013 19:44:11 | THE OLD LOST EMPEROR OF THE SAHAUGIN GAMBIT- A gnome who is a great actor is approached by a town that is under attack by sahaugins(see creature from the black lagoon post). They want this gnome to use Giralion's Blessing and Permancy to create a 6 armed duplicate of an sahaugin emperor. This could be played for laughes in a variety of ways. How does a gnome avoid or win single combats? Remember "the Court Jester" with the Flagon with the Dragon? A six-armed Sahaugin does a lot of breeding,claim a war wound or vow of celibacy? Sharks have a good sense of smell, can a gnome avoid being a snack? What happens if the gnome likes being an emperor? |
| #115taradusisJan 05, 2014 20:38:51 | Some thoughts on a Minotaur halloween. Minotaur wanders into a corn field maze. Police get told that there's a biker wearing a viking helmet and carrying an axe. How to add humor to a deadly game of hide and seek? Man tied to pole and role plaing the scarecrow from the wizard of oz? Drunken idiot who claims that the fraal probed him? |
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