1. The Lost Ark of the Covenant (of course :D )
2. The True Cross
3. The Fake Cross
4. The Shroud of Turin
5. The Pillowcase of Turin
6. The Washcloth of Turin
7. The Ten Commandments
8. The FIFTEEN Commandments
9. A dead skin diver, impaled on a tree and burnt to a crisp
10. A Suitcase with a luggage tag that reads "property of D.B. Cooper"
11. The Golden Fleece
12. The Golden Afgan
13. There is no number 13
14. A freezer containing Walt Disney
15. A cow with it's internal organs surgically removed by no procedure known to man
16. One sucked goat
17. A map to the location of Jimmy Hoffa's body
18. Jimmy Hoffa's Body
19. The Pompatus of Love
20. The Book of Love (with the author credited on the front)
21. The third word that ends in "gry"
22. John Dillinger's naughty bits
23. FNORD
24. The October Surprise
25. Big black slab collected by anthroplogists in Olduvai Gorge
26. A Golden Lasso. Anyone tied in it is forced to tell the truth.
27. The plans for Colossus, signed by Dr. Forbin
28. Pages that were missing from the logbook of the Marie Celeste
29. A photograph showing Elvis, Bigfoot, Nessie, and an alien "grey" posing in front of Devil's Tower, Wyoming
30. The "magic bullet".
(DISCLAIMER: This is a thread for people to add items that can trigger a modern RPG adventure. None of this is meant to be real. This is all in good fun. Have at it! :D )
32. An alien cooling system, resembling a blue ooze. It's job was originally to cool down ship components. Now that it's no longer part of the ship, it simply absorbs heat from any warm thing near it. It's also nearly invincible and very fast, but utterly unintelligent.
33. The suitcase of C. G. B. Spender.
34. The spear that stabbed Christ (wrapped in a bag with Masonic ensignia)
35. Moon rocks (wrapped up as above).
36. A jar of terrestrial effluvium.
37. A jar of intelligent terrestrial effluvium.
38. A possibly alien enzyme that animates objects. Unfortunately said objects have a bad habit of "absorbing" organic matter. If a typical room in a house is a Gargantuan object, think of the grapple check...
39. Psychological studies on human subjects detailing forms of mind control using persuasion or technology.
40. Elvis' last letter. I guess he forgot to mail it.
41. A flight manual for a UFO. Inside said UFO.
42. A treatise on the meaning of life, written on a wax tablet. (Make a Will save (DC 20) to recall it later.)
43. A diary from the future. Yours.
45. Resurrection Mary.
46. The Ghosts of Flight 401.
47. The UFO Jimmy Carter saw in 1969 (The Encyclopedia of UFOs, Ronald D. Story, ed., pp.63-65)
48. Rasputin's Eyes.
[All taken from Mysteries of the Unexplained, Reader's Digest Association, Inc, 1982]
)9. A dead skin diver, impaled on a tree and burnt to a crisp
16. One sucked goat
23. FNORD
24. The October Surprise
if we told you the connection... we may have to hurt a puppy
Okay, before we get too far into this, I'm missing the connection on a few of these.
One Sucked goat is evidence of el Chupacabra the goat sucking vampire-insect-bat-man-thing from Central America.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fnord
Fnord
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
A fnord is disinformation or irrelevant information intending to misdirect, with the implication of a conspiracy.
The word originated in the Principia Discordia, by Kerry Thornley and Greg Hill as a nonsense word, but was popularized by the Illuminatus trilogy of books by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson. In these novels, it is claimed that the interjection "fnord" possesses hypnotic power over readers. A conspiracy of the world's controlling powers conditions everyone from a young age to be unable to consciously see the word "fnord"; instead, every appearance of the word will unconsciously generate a general feeling of uneasiness and confusion. Fnords are scattered liberally in the text of newspapers and magazines, causing fear and anxiety in those following current events. However, there are no fnords in the advertisements, encouraging a consumerist society.
It is implied in the books that fnord is not the actual word used for this task; it is a substitute since the actual word would not be able to be detected by most readers.
Use of the word "fnord" has become a popular catch phrase with followers of Discordianism.
To see the fnords means to be unaffected by the supposed hypnotic power of the word or, more loosely, of other fighting words.
The phrase "I have seen the fnords" was famously graffitied (sp?) on a railway bridge (known locally as Anarchy Bridge) between Earlsdon and Coventry city centre throughout the 1980s and 1990s, until the bridge was upgraded. The bridge and the phrase were mentioned in the novel A Touch of Love by Jonathan Coe.
Fnord is a word used often in Usenet and other computer circles to indicate a random or surreal sentence. Anything out of context may be considered or described as Fnord.
Famously these can be generated by the Steve Jackson Games Fnorder (http://www.sjgames.com/misc/fnord.html) which generates a random sentence. As it is an open source program, one can find its wordlists.
54. One dead De Loy's Ape
55. Irrefutable proof of Spring-Heeled Jack
Okay, before we get too far into this, I'm missing the connection on a few of these.9. A dead skin diver, impaled on a tree and burnt to a crisp
Maybe he is still talking.
Maybe he was found 1000 miles away from the coast but he disappeared over night or in the middle of a dive.
Maybe they can't get him out/off of the tree, and if they do, the diver reappears back in/on the tree in the middle of the night or when no one is looking.
Maybe he comes to life at night and eats people or kills people, burns them, and impales them on other trees or on his tree.
I hope that helps.
57: Godfather 3: redux (the version that doesn't suck)
58: Irrefutable proof of a tree falling silently in the forest
59: Agent Cooper frozen in carbonite
60: Travel Brochures to the ultra-secret Bermuda Triangle vacation spa
Okay, before we get too far into this, I'm missing the connection on a few of these.
A dead skin diver, impaled on a tree and burnt to a crisp
Urban Legend. Plane dumping water on forest fire scoops diver from lake while loading up with water and dumps him into the heart of the fire. CSI covered this in an episode once. (also did a fun one on spontaneous combustion).
61. 11 secret herbs and spices.
62. The light from inside your fridge.
63. The shadow of a small boy.
65: Hitler's mother's cousin's sister's boyfriend's brain.
66: The only known nude photo of Mark Twain
67: A rare copy of the declaration of indipendance with the word "Suckers" in it
68: A Grue...in the darkness.
69: A box of hanging chads
70: The Jack ruby
Okay, before we get too far into this, I'm missing the connection on a few of these.
The "October Surprise" is an occurence or press release by someone (usually associated with the incumbent) in the October of an election year that effectively kills a few points from the support of the opposing candidate before a presidential election.
This originates from the 1980 election and allegations that one party worked to delay the release of hostages until the day of the inaugaration. Their thinking is that if the hostages were released prior to the election, the incumbent would win.
Since then, folks wait for an announcement from the White House or some "event" to occur that will tip the balance to one side or the other. nothing this year, but we have a whole week left...
As for other objects in the Warehouse:
71: A perpetual motion generator... now if they can just determine how to start it...
72: Flubber (the cool one from the 1950s)
73: A comprehensive study behind the real cause of the Great New York Blackout - two words: underwear gnomes
Dave
75. A bottle of tonic labeled 'drink me'.
76. Genuine snake oil.
77. Unlucky rabbits foot.
78. Small bag of sleepy dust.
80- the results of the 2005-2009 world series.
81- a tretise titled "The Reason for Curse of the Colliwobbles"-(AFL fans)
83. The original unaired pilot for the Justice League Live action TV show
84. a crate of sunglasses, which when worn allows the wearer to see the world as it really is.
85. The Magna of Illusion (see BOC's Imaginos)
86. Removed
87. Arthur's bat Excaliber
88. The Mask of Hunter Rose
89. Canisters of 2-4-5 Trioxen gas (50% of them also contain a reanimated corpse) -= See return of the living dead =-
91 - the missing minutes from the watergate tapes
88. The Mask of Hunter Rose
Ooohh... good one. Love that series. Favorite Grapic Novel I own is War Child.
H.P. Lovecraft's Pen
Babbage's Difference Engine
The Rosetta Stone
A compass from the Scott Expedition
Blueprints to Fatman and Little Boy
Carving tools from Stonehenge
Any of England's crown jewels
Artifacts from the Titanic
Fancis Scott Key's Pen used to write the poem "The Star Spangled Banner"
Betsy Ross' Needles, thimble & bobbin
General George Washingtons Teeth, made by Paul Reaver
Napoleons Hat and Coat
The first Gatling Gun
For a cursed item, something from the Donner Party.
William Douglas Badders artifical legs.
H G Well's actual time machine.
Jules Vern's nuclear submarine (discovered sunken near a volcanic island), and rocket (recovered on the moon by Eagle 1).
Emilia Earheart's criogenic capsule.
The real Spirit of Saint Louis.
A room where Abraham Lincoln and JFK are playing poker.
A disk containing the actual bible code.
Minutes from the first Free Masons guild meeting
Hitler's head (in a jar and very much alive).
A RPG book that actually models real life and real-world physics accurately, while remaining simple.
A live Minotaur in chains screaming something about his labyrinth.
The real entrance to Fort Knox.
Vlad "Tzepish" Dracul's coffin.
Brahm Stoker's corpes - with a steak through his heart.
Jack the Ripper's cell (occupied)
-Everyone from the Roanoke colony
-MIB Headquarters
-Illuminati Headquarters
-The Round Table
-King Arthur
-The Necronomicon (the original copy)
-The Illuminati Necronomicon
-The Spear of Longinus (Psi)SeveredHead already said it, but I prefer to use the full name
-The weapon used to kill King Tutankhamun
-The daggers used to kill Julius Caesar
A Yeti, who is the curator.
The only working phaser, used twice, c/w note saying "Trust me, it was necessary."
Galileo's Telescope
The Trojan Horse along with blue prints
Pandora's box
Blue Book from project blue book, the govenments attempt to classify UFOs that was disbanded and classified
A piece of the crash at Roswell
The head of the Saddam statue from Iraq
A map to the Isle of Avalon or Altinise (sp?)
The original papyrus copy of the Egyptian Book of the Dead
Martin Luther King's podium (from the DC rally)
The original film rolls from the production of Star Wars (Episodes 4,5&6)
7 Elvis clones
A stargate
An apparently empty cell, with a chair that occasionally shifts back and forth in front of a computer that is being operated by something unseen.
)------------------
Said Schroedinger's wife to Schroedinger,
"What did you do to the cat? He looks half dead!"
159. A pallet of computer software boxes with the title "Microsoft's Linux 2010 - with Windows!"
160. The moon landing film set.
161. A baby in a sealed plastic bubble, alive!
162. A Working transporter system.
163. The original, pre-accident, bodies of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.
164. A bottomless pit with Ozzie Smith still inside taking photos.
165. A Deactivated T-1000.
166. Vials labeled "Cure for Aids", "Cure for Cancer", "Cure for Diabetes", etc
167. Car tires that never wear down.
168. A working crystal ball.
169. The missing WMD from Iraq, with an Iranian postage stamp.
170. A photo album containing among others photos of:
170A. A sasquach posing with a President in hiking clothes and a sling on his left arm.
170B. A bunyip posing with an Australian Prime Minister in camping clothes and his leg in a splint.
170C. Al Capone posing with the Untouchables, all smiling.
170D. The English Prime Minister performing surgery.
171. Long John Silver's long silver john.
172. Batteries that never need recharging.
173. Electricity in a bottle.
174. A Philosopher's Stone.
175. A philosopher's gall stone.
176. A philosopher's kidney stone.
177. A woking lightsabre.
178. X-Ray glasses.
179. A well muscled man holding up a world that looks suspiciously real (weather, water, tiny cities, etc)
180. The car engine that runs on water.
181. Footage from the original broadcast of H.G. Wells "War of the Worlds" showing the actual invasion.
182. Details for access to a Swiss numbered bank account.
183. A pair of ancient skeletons labeled "Adam" and "Evelyn".
184. Footprint casts taken from Muroroa Atoll from a giant lizard walking north into the sea.
185. Seeds from the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge.
186. A machine the size of a briefcase labeled "Water De-salinator".
187. A document titled "Nicotine, Caffine and other Governmental Additives"
188. The first Model-T Ford.
189. An original thought.
----------------------
Reagan Storme
191: A set of several green rings
192. Alf
193. The REAL last of the Mohicans. His name is Carl.
194. Baron Von Munchausen, young as ever
195. Skeleton of a giant fish. Written along a rib in Victorian letters is "I win! -The Baron"
196. Folder labeled "OPE"
197. Black suitcase with gold glowing _________ inside
199.The Grand Unified Theory of Everything.
200. A rock album featuring Jimi Hendrix on lead guitar, Elvis Presley on rythym and vox, Jim Morrison on lead vox, Cliff Burton on bass, Janis Joplin and Mamma Cass on backup vox, John Bonham on drums, and managed by John F. Kennedy and his new wife Marilyn.
201. Schroedinger's dog, parakeet, goldfish, seamonkeys, hamster...all blinking in and out of existence.
202. Jaques Cousteau's map to Atlantis.
203. Hubble photos of the 10th planet, Rupert.
204. Batboy!!!
205. The original Bible manuscript, penned by God himself and apparently rejected by the editor for being too tame...."It needs more smitings and Thou shalt nots!"
206. World peace, curled up in a fetal position and whimpering softly while rocking back and forth
- Goodness knows shipments of videophones.
- An artificially intellegent computer with most of its holographic memory units removed.
- The removed holgraphic memory units, sorted and individually boxed.
- Radar reflectors. The kind that fall on farms during the Cold War, causing hysteria.
- Surface samples of Mars. Fossilized archea in the samples.
#205. 1 ACME Portable Hole
#206. A box containing all the socks that DON'T come out of the washing machine.
#207. A box inside a box inside a box inside a box inside a box....
The Duke, still frozen and waiting to be thawed.
And boy will HE be
when he wakes up...Oh wait, here it is!
Maybe someone should compile all these for ease of reference and add sources (ala the site I link to)?
219. A cute little Mogwai singing in a cage.
220. A live unicorn in a horse stall.
221. The Coca-Cola (tm) recipe.
222. The Vegemite (tm) recipe.
223. A beautiful princess "dead" in a glass coffin.
224. A glass slipper.
225. A black Trans-Am with a red sweeping light on the front.
226. The last polite French waiter.
227. A walking cane (or is it a Warhammer).
228. An insect display case with red and blue live spiders in it ... and 1 missing!
229. A hallway covered in a hard mucous-like substance leading to a chamber containing several large
fleshy eggs.
230. A universal translator.
231. A small PDA with "Don't Panic" printed on the cover in big, friendly letters.
232. A tooth in a petri dish next to a can of cola.
233. A cat tha grins at you and then... disappears.
234. A room filled with cups, goblets, mugs, and chalices of all types of precious metals and gems, with a
small fountain in the corner.
235. The real (black) Michael Jackson.
236. Mr Right.
237. Miss Taken.
238. A case of Frobscottle.
239. A blindfolded yellow duckling in the centre of an empty room.
240. A cat playing with a human tongue.
241. A studio audience that applauds as you enter the room/stage area.
242. A goose laying golden eggs.
243. A secret enterance to the Whitehouse/Pentagon/Buckingham Palace/etc.
244. The real Turin's Shroud, still wrapping a body.
245. A cow wearing lipstick and rouge.
246. Grignak.
247. A Beryllium sphere.
248. A mirror where the image of you is ... not quite right.
249. The top of the Far Away Tree poking through the clouds on the floor.
250. A human skeleton with wings.
251. A man in a half mask playing a pipe organ.
252. Mary Shelly's writing desk.
253. Everyone's smallpox vaccination disguised DNA sample.
254. The Tunguska UFO encased in sediment.
255. An infinite hallway of doors.
256. A large room containing deadhuman bodies that are layed out to spell "HELP ME".
257. A cobblestone street complete with period buildings.
258. A mirror maze.
259. A traffic light remote control.
260. An Ecto-plasm containment chamber.
------------------------------------------------------
Reagan Storme
262. A Golden Fiddle
264. A black broadsword covered with red runes, found incased in coal in an England coalmine with a humanoid body. Carbon dating shows body and sword are older than coal. All who touch sword die.
265. The real second Star Wars trilogy
266. A young woman in a white toga, sitting at a computer answering dating advice letters. A little infant boy with wings is sitting at her feet sucking his thumb, beside him a child sized crossbow.
267. a giant cephlapoid humanoid creature, sleeping.
Anyway, my additions to the list:
The original prototypes for numerous helicopters; Blue Thunder, Airwolf, and the Silent Black Helicopter appearing in most conspiracy theories.
The original water engine.
A back room containing the entire set used to stage the fake moon landings between 1969 and 1974.
I am the Curator of said Warehouse that was linked to this page and would be more than happy to accomodate any new listings that you would like to see added to our little depository.
I thank you for your interest and will make the best effort to keep things up to date.
The Curator
PS - I am not a Yeti.
Warehouse
Anything from the tombs of Egypt
Hitler's teeth
The sacrifical dagger from the battle of Masada
A signot ring of Cesar
The crucifix of Constantine
A compass from the Scott Expedition
Blueprints to Fatman and Little Boy
Carving tools from Stonehenge
Any of England's crown jewels
Artifacts from the Titanic
A nuclear missile, with matching cult of horribly misshapen mutants
A pair of talking monkeys who 'claim' to be from the future
Those pesky Nazis
An irritable Englishman, a chap from somewhere near Betelgeuse, and somebody with an extra head and lower right arm looking at a road map
1 million xp if you can name the source
Deep Thaught (the computer)
The missing link
Instructions on how to remove CHAV from the universe humanely...
(for those who dont understand what a CHAV is they are youths who go for BLING in stupid amounts and act like cletus the slack jawed yokle, wear burberry striped hats with verticle peaks, wear shoes with tracksuits tucked into there socks and horozontal striped sweaters...)
269. This list...with lots more entries.
M
272. Dried mud with the squashed remains of a butterfly.
273. A Polaroid of James Dean at Woodstock.
268. All your base.
Damn, I was gonna say that.
274: A copy of linux that runs .EXEs
275: All the girls who are attracted to me.
276: A pill to cure cancer. Side effects include cancer.
277: An Ocelot. Nobody's sure how it got in, but it seems to not want to leave.
278: The little gnome who makes time speed up when you're having fun and slow down when you're not.
279: A political system that works.
280: My self-esteem
History: The assassination of President John F. Kennedy on November 22, 1963 is one of the most debated events of the last fifty years. Generations of
Americans have viewed it as the end of their country’s innocence, as conspiracy theories and what-if scenarios have swirled around the events of that tragic morning in Dallas. The Warren Commission that investigated the assassination, however, found no evidence to support the theory that JFK’s killer, Lee Harvey Oswald, had accomplices or was involved in a conspiracy.
Many Americans discounted the Commission’s findings, convinced that there were too many problems that could not be easily explained away.
Chief among these problems was the Single Bullet Theory, which held that a single “magic” bullet entered Kennedy’s head, exited through his throat, and finally shattered Governor John Connally’s ribs. While Oswald was an acknowledged marksman, his remarkable feat in not only killing Kennedy but severely wounding Connally in a brief period of time has never been recreated, lending credence to the theory that there was a second assassin involved that day. Wilder theories claim that the bullet was indeed magical, enchanted to strike true and do incredible damage to whomever it hit. Naturally, such a theory is dismissed out of hand by even most conspiracy theorists.
Physical Description: The magic bullet is a slightly damaged 6.5 mm bullet without a shell casing.
Current Whereabouts: An American militiaman possesses the magic bullet, keeping it in reserve for the day when it becomes necessary to assassinate another president or leader in order to preserve liberty throughout the land.
Game Mechanics: The magic bullet functions as a normal rifle bullet. On a successful hit, the target must make a Fortitude save (DC 15) or immediately
drop to –1 hit points. On a successful save, the target suffers 3d6 points of damage. Should the target die, whether from a failed Fortitude save or the damage dealt, the bullet will seek out the nearest target within 5 feet and attempt to kill them as well. The same attack roll number is used for this subsequent attack as for thefirst. If successful, the target suffers the same effects. The bullet can continue to attack targets until either one of them survives being hit by it or there are no morewithin 5 feet of the initial target.
Type: Artifact (magic); Caster Level: —; Purchase
DC: 40; Weight: —.
I'm going to prove to everybody that I really do have too much free time on my hands and that I should probably get a healthier hobby:
Type: Artifact (magic); Caster Level: —; Purchase
DC: 40; Weight: —.
Wouldn't it be illeagle?
(...based on something that actually happened to me in real life. Plastic potato goes into the brush when I'm 5. I look later that day and it is GONE, no sign of it anywhere. Even now--14 years later!--when all the brush is cleared off... no potato.
)Drizzt Do'Urden
The Universe
Excaliber
Atlantis
My next post on my campaign setting
Stone Henge
A Woolly Mammoth
A working Gunblade
A working Deathstar
Yoda
Jesus, playing Neverwinter Nights
Jesus, Budha, Alla, Zeus and Amon-Ra playing D&D
Or, my favourite... a group of people who look just like your group, playing a game with dice, paper and pencils. The things you overhear them say and do sound suspiciously like what your group does...
Jesus, Budha, Alla, Zeus and Amon-Ra playing D&D
They'd probably all want to be monks or clerics.
Or, my favourite... a group of people who look just like your group, playing a game with dice, paper and pencils. The things you overhear them say and do sound suspiciously like what your group does...
You make the 4th wall cry.
They'd probably all want to be monks or clerics.
Originally Posted by Jerivar
Or, my favourite... a group of people who look just like your group, playing a game with dice, paper and pencils. The things you overhear them say and do sound suspiciously like what your group does...
You make the 4th wall cry.
Or even worse:
You see a group of people in midevil garb sitting around a table. Each person looks very similer to what you would think your and your friends Dnd characters look like. They roll ivory dice and have sitting next to them leather bound tomes with the words "Students and suburbs" writtin on it. As they begin moving carefully crafted statues over a map you can make out that the statue look very much like you....
Thor's hammer "Mjolnir"
Roger Bacon's Ars Magica
Al-Azif (a.k.a. The Necronomicon)
Edna Mode, fashion designer
The original manual on physical fitness from the Xiou-lin monestary
Tupac Shakur
A complete record of the adventures of Stedman Graham - super-secret-agent
Or even worse:
You see a group of people in midevil garb sitting around a table. Each person looks very similer to what you would think your and your friends Dnd characters look like. They roll ivory dice and have sitting next to them leather bound tomes with the words "Students and suburbs" writtin on it. As they begin moving carefully crafted statues over a map you can make out that the statue look very much like you....
Argh you got me all paranoid now.
/makes will save
/fails
Oh, I was worrying about nothing.
Edna Mode, fashion designer
Thanks for finding her WizO, my super suit really needs a patch job... :D
A pack of cards with 52 queens of diamonds
A fishbowl with the inscription "So Long and Thanks for All the Fish"
The 9 Orbs of the Prophets
Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Isaac Newton and a very pale, emotionless man, sitting around, playing poker
Several pairs of green and yellow rings
The final text of the last "Harry Potter" novel
-MVK
21. The third word that ends in "gry"
Check this site out: words ending in gry.
Tupac Shakur
What? Just sort of hanging out? Like with a Chupacabra? Isn't this supposed to be a vault? Must get rather boring in there...
You make the 4th wall cry.
Damn, did it again. There there... look, I never meant to do it. I'm sorry, okay? Can we still be friends?
You see a group of people in midevil garb sitting around a table. Each person looks very similer to what you would think your and your friends Dnd characters look like. They roll ivory dice and have sitting next to them leather bound tomes with the words "Students and suburbs" writtin on it. As they begin moving carefully crafted statues over a map you can make out that the statue look very much like you....
Creepy...
What? Just sort of hanging out? Like with a Chupacabra? Isn't this supposed to be a vault? Must get rather boring in there...
More like chained in a recording studio being forced to make more albums. At gunpoint.
"You hear that, Mr. Shakur? That is the sound of inevitability...."
You find The Antichrist. He looks up at you from watching football, waves you all over to the couch and says "Hey! Mi casa es tu casa amigos!!! Help yourseleves to some beer and pretzels!!!"
Oh. Wait. That is a snippet from a dream I had last night. Nevermind.
282: Something resembeling Garth Brooks with Santa Clauses Tummy Tum and a Cheese Log.
283: A vat of Pancreatic effluvium.
284: Vin Diesel.
286: A bottle of red pills.
287: A bottle of blue pills.
288: A white rabbit, anthropomorhpisized with a watch that runs into a hole upon your seeing of him.
289: A pigpen containing the swine that Legion was cast into.
290: Samsons hair.
291: Excalibur, still in the stone.
292: The orginal script of Arthurian legend where the contents of wich are mysteriously referred to as "prophecy"
293: Jimmy Hoffa
294: A casket with "The Saint of Killers" written on the lid.
295: A working Head of Vecna.
296: The question to Life, the universe, and everything,, rolled up and in a bottle.
297: Jack the Ripper
A book with no covers and no pages.
A crystal slipper.
A piece of fairy cake.
A box full of switches.
The Total Perspective Vortex
City in a bottle.
The damn car keys.
A freezer containing a jars of snow, ice, and hail. The jars are labelled "Hell".
Three huge dog collars. The tags say "Fluffy".
A second trio of dog collars, with tags that say "Cerberus".
A box containing 22 blank irovy plaques and a note saying "don't make a wish".
An antique clay oil lamp, glazed in a variety of bright colors.
A large room, filled with tropical plant. It is surrounded by tall electrified fences bear a sign that says "Velociraptor Breeding Pen". For a fun, there is an alarm going off indicating that the power supply to the fence has been interrupted.
A hole, floating in the air. No light will illuminate the inside of the hole. On closer examination, it appears to be spherical. A plain, thick iron ring hangs on a wall nearby.
A metal belt, much like a girdle, with four tentacles.
A lockable cigar box containing 10,000, spider-like creatures, each the size of a dinner plate.
The missing books of the Bible, in manuscript form.
A stylized, flat metal bat. The attached tag reads "Bat-a-rang".
A pearl white, 70's/80's-style telephone with no buttons, jacks, or cords (other than the one connecting the handset to the base). Fancy script on the base reads "Hotline". Also, engraving on the bottom reads "Property of Pope John Paul II"
Illicit Pictures of Dr. Phil and Oprah:
Anyone who gazes upon these riskay pictures freaturing Dr. Phil and Oprah must make a Will save (DC 25) or suffer the effects of Phantasmal Killer as cast by a 10th level mage.
The ashes of Pheonix, Arizona.
Bigfoot. Urbanized, wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and barbecuing on the roof. He's the building's caretaker.
Jimmy Hoffa. With experimental cybernetic implants running out of his head.
Katie Holmes Brain. Perfectly preserved. In a jar of liquid.(She had it removed by the Scientologists and replaced with a computer, after all.)
Clone of JFK with cybernetic enhancements
The immortal Archmagus Ludwig von Beethovan
Reincarnation of Abraham Linlcon (in the body of a teenage girl)
And every other week, Gary Gygax drops in to hold a good game of D&D with em all. When their games run too long, Big Foot gets grumpy and every now and then, Cthulhu cranks calls the warehouse, irritating Big Foot to no end :D .
____________________________
:coolcthul > "HA! Take that you hairy freak!"
-The contents of the library of Alexandra
-the binoculars belonging to the Titanics look out
-the vocie of god recored on a gold disk
-the dark secerts of all major relegions
-George Lucas’s self respect (lost after making episodeds 1,2, and3)
-George A. Romero's self respect (lost after makeing zombie able to run)
-my self respect
-the aztecs
-off in a room is the world the would have been if the south won the civil war
-something called a "Hyper Cube"
-
The matching lost sock to every single pair of socks that has had one of the mates go missing since socks were invented.
The Real Slim Shady. (All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating....)
Dinosaur clones floating in tanks of fluid....
The Star Gate.
:D
Tupac Shakur
What about Biggie?
- A huge pallet of the one video game that will run on ANY system imaginable, no matter how crappy. And it's actually pretty good too.
- Adolf Hitler cryogenically frozen with a sign next to his vat saying that the cooling unit is overdue for maintance.
- A huge pallet containing the one RPG book you need to run any game imaginable without having to worry about munchkins and rule-lawyers.
- The alien who has been secretly advising both of the Bush presidencies and the Clinton administration.
- A huge, strangely life-like mural of the last four presidents playing poker with Bigfoot, his cousin the Abominable Snowman, the Mothman, and the Jersey Devil.
- The complete Star Wars collection, all nine episodes, and guess what? All of them are the non-crappy editions.
- The complete script for Enterprise (the latest and last Star Trek), written by Gene Rodenberry.
* A nervous looking accountant's friend.
* An open window where bodies are flying past downwards.
a cheat code that actually makes the game it's for more interesting
a malformed Buick 8
a set of rules that does'nt cause the robots programmed with them to hurt or maim their creators
Hell's bells, lampshade, vacuum, and accordian
the actual release date of Starcraft: Ghost
-The actual release date for Duke Nukem Forever
.- An Annunaki
- Jim Morrison recording an album with Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin
-
Show
Fnord
- A little nerd who ACTUALLY cast the spell "Magic Missle" in real life
- Illicit pictures involving Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb
- A picture of the Jersey Devil in women's underwear (akward...)
- A real deadite
- The bizarre amorphous being thats DNA was used to create Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb
- Pictures of Mothman forming a Cancan line
- A working copy of Duke Nukem Forever
- A little nerd who ACTUALLY cast the spell "Magic Missle" in real life
Yes, but he only casts it "At the Darkness."
Yes, but he only casts it "At the Darkness."
Hence the reason why he is in the Warehouse :D
So one half is almost any guy's dream girl (which alone qualifies for a warehouse item for it's extreme rarity)...the other half is losing it's hair :D
-A working copy of Fallout 3
-A completely uncensored, director's cut edition of the first season of South Park.
-The secret to a diverse world were no one wants to kill each other.
The Un-Shredder. A device similar to a computer scanner that will piece together any shredded documents put in it (I'm sure this is a real world device, but I couldnt think of what it actually is named)
Mr. Blonde's sense of compassion (Reservoir Dogs)
The Gambletron 2000, it appears to have suffered damage, apparently from being kicked and punched (The Simpsons)
A perfect 1/80th scale model of the Millenium Falcon. As you pick it up and admire it, you notice movement within and the laser turrets turn to point at you (my brain, and Star Wars)
A leatherbound book that is about as thick as a phone book, inside is a simple description of every twisted device, weird artifact, and unnatural media that has ever crossed my mind (My Brain....duh)
A digital camera whose memory is filled with pictures of Santa Clause on a prom date on the moon. His date is a giant milkshake (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
A wrinkled, shrunken pink T-shirt with egyptian hieroglyphics (Aqua Teen Hunger Force, from the second weirdest episode: T-Shirt of the Living Dead)
A vial filled with Hypnogerms and another filled with mexican jumping beans (Also ATHF. From THE weirdest episode)
-A box containing the severed and dried hand and eye of a very old corpse.
-The Holy Grail.
-Micheal Jackson's Sanity.
-The Book of the Nine Gates of Hell.
-The REAL FBI and Secret Service files from the assasination of JFK.
-Micheal Jackson's Sanity.
QUOTE]
-Along with his masculinity and pigmentation(and actual nose)
-A giant tank full of huge fish labeled "The ones that got away"
-a filter that actually makes city water taste good
-a PDA with DON'T PANIC written across the front in large friendly letters
-Beowulf HIMSELF ready and willing to help you with your english report
-A man named bill dressed in elizabethan era clothes
-a cure for the common cold
SHIMONA!!
I think MJ's Sanity is sitting next to a glass of milk and a plate of cookies.
(To those of you who get the above reference, I apologize for bringing it back into your mind)
...and maybe it's guarded by the few people that think he is still sane (so...two people? They need to be locked up in a crate as well) They just are fooled into thinking it is something very dangerous to his image...such as it is
Dont forget, Sword Soul, to get to Beowulf you've gotta go across the lake of fire (and if you've rented a helmet, the bats wont get you)
yes after taking a left, a right, left, right, right, left, right,left,left,first,right, right right, straight, left, up the stairs, defeating the minotaur and answering the sphinxes questoin, and all this after you've pulled the book incorrectly filed under L on the third shelf in the back. Are you writing this down? (It had expanded awhile before I heard it)
- The Chainsaw of Smiting
- A book of spells that contains several insanly powerful spells with titles that were clearly ripped off from verses in the "Battle Hymn of the Republic"
- The original BLACK Michael Jackson from the early eighties
- Copies of a project to make an evil clone of Michael Jackson
- A real robot chicken
- A Ranma 1/2 gun
- A Star Child of Cthulhu that constantly does the mambo
- A vampire that isn't whiney or nihillistic
- Britiney Spears self respect
- Photos of Seth Green parting with Bigfoot
- A book of psychology that contains techniques that actually help people with mental disorders
- Scientific proof that Adam Sessler is actually a Covert Lemur Moreau
- A picture of Morgan Webb chasing the little nerd who can cast the spell Magic Missle in real life
-The REAL Micheal Jackson, frozen in suspended animation.
The meaning of purple plate
An old man leading isrealites around saying "the promised land can't be far now..."
The script of the Simpsons movie
A plot hole
A starving illithid and a jar-jar that WONT DIE
A partrich in a pear tree (i can't speell)
- The machine that can turn white people black, and black people white, code named: the Cookies-n-creaminator. A clipboard on a chain lists the test subjects, including Michael Jackson, Marshal Mathers III, and Vanilla Ice.
- The only person not annoyed by the inclusion of Jar-jar Binks in Star Wars.
- A chess set with the pieces as large as people, missing a knight, a bishop and a rook.
- A freezer geezer.
- A baseball cap rotating under glass.
-----------------------------------
Reagan Storme
-The only person not annoyed by the inclusion of Jar-jar Binks in Star Wars.
Come on... at least make the things in the warehouse plausible.
- A savage hippie eating psycho nerd whith powerful psionic powers
- A REAL moreau
- My sainity...and the little gnomes that live indise my head
- A small army of gnomes
-LEMMIWINKS!!!
- The funniest joke in the universe.
- The Complete Guide to Women. It completely and perfectly explains female behavior and psychology using simple language, video game references, and sports analogies.
- A saucer-shaped weather balloon.
- A neurolizer.
- The missing piece of the Rosetta Stone. It details a fourth, unknown language composed of symbols reminiscent of crop-circles.
- An enormous tank of water. One can see the vague outline of a massive dinosaur-like creature swimming deep within it.
- A work order detailing the construction of a secret government moon base.
- The Martian Embassy.
- A $3 bill.
- A satellite. Printed on the side is "Detructotron 5000".
- The Skull of St. John
- The Bells of St.Mary
- Jack Stark's Dog tags (see the jacket)
- UNcompleted season of I love lucy, where rickey gets deported
- The Complete mego Kiss doll collection, with the eric carr figure in makeup
- a Map of the true internet
- Film footage of hitler's arctic bases being built
- Film footage of the execution of a actual vampire.
- In the Library area, under the cooking section, there is a book titled: How to Cook Humans...! Sorry, its covered in a bit of dust. It actually say: How to Cook FOR Humans... No, No... Theres more dust on the cover, and it REALLY says: How to Cook FORTY Humans! Oops... Theres still MORE dust on the cover, and in fact it reads: How to Cook For Forty Humans. Sorry, my mistake.
- Ozzie Smith walking around taking photos.
- In the Chemicals and Pharmaceuticals section, three vials labelled: Ebola-Shiva, Ebola-Shiva Vaccine-A, Ebola-Shiva Vaccine-B.
- The communication codes to access the ABL Market Research Satelite.
- The blueprints for Angelina Jolie's Weapons of Mass Distraction.
- A marine guarding an empty room.
----------------------------------
Reagan Storme
-A list of crackpot websites and blogs, marked "TRUE"
The "dying teenager" of the "dying teenager's last wish" chain letter - fully alive and playing baseball with a bunch of flamingos
A bucket, a blue piece of paper, and a piece of cheese.
- A REAL moreau
Now he would make for an interesting conversation! (Come on, there have got to be questions you've always wanted to ask a real live moreau. He's probably sick of people asking him stupid questions though. :D )
-A empty glass case, beneath it is a small bronze plaque reading "Jason Voderoot's favorite machetes".
-The mutilated corpse of the bastard that writes all that spyware that gets into your computer and steals your CD keys and passwords. He appears to have been repeated slashed to death.
-The mutilated corpse of the bastard that writes all the other computer viruses (worms and the like). He has a pair of machetes rammed through his chest, on a nearby wall is a message written in his blood, "The bastard had it coming!"
Upon writing that last sentence, a scene from the movie Little Nicky comes to mind involving hitler and a pineapple
Now for my newest addition:
A vinyl record of the band Chicago. If you play the song "Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is" backwards you will recieve a very disturbing message.
- In a glass case a very large black handgun with the words "Jesus Christ is in Heaven Now" scrawled on the side, with a note saying "This should fix that pesky problem, chaps."
- A living anime character you can reach out and touch and no matter the angle you you look at her from she always appears to be drawn as if you were 'watching' from that dirrection.
- A ferocious red dragon and a gallant winged man locked in mortal combat, soldiers holding their ground in front of a door... through it is the infirmary, a woman is giving birth (the warehouse, along with the base, is afire).
- A gentleman in a nice suit who takes off his hat upon meeting you and says "Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste."
- A microscope. When you look though it you see a swirling universe.
- A project underway to create something called a "Gear"... one of the scientists is named Frederick (2014 for best effect).
- Seven items, some weapons and some not, packed into crates that are labeled "The Outrage" with a designated part number... Box #1 has been opened, the item missing (2073+ for best effect).
- Three older women sitting around a table with lots of strings, each labled, and a pair of scissors.
- A working demolecularization storage unit, shaped like a ball; it's red and white.
- An umbrella that allows you to fly.
- A computer sitting on a desk. On screen is an chat with the last post "What is the meaning of life" and under it, on the bottom bar, it says "God is typing..."
- A pair of sun glasses that breaks everything down into Grand Theft Auto statistics for you, including other people's life bars, your life bar, etc.
- A blue ocarina with a three small golden triangles at the base of the mouth peice and five holes.
- A long, detailed report translated to English from Japanese which confirms that all anime is actually a 100% accurate sub-concious manifestation, long thought to be simple creativity, of parallel and alternate demensions.
- A slick prototype space fighter that runs on quarters; it's called Vic Viper.
- A rubber duck sitting on in the middle of a concret floor covered with the blood and cropses of many soldiers.
- A collection of artifacts stolen during World War II... one is an old sword labled 'Kusanagi'.
- A note from God, in Celestial, to the orignional author of the Bible... it reads "For the last time, She!"
- A d20 Modern Character Sheet: Your's (with pencil in arm's reach :D ).
-Hubble Telescope photos of a strange ring formation in orbit over a distant world (Halo)
-A golden fiddle (The Devil Went Down To Georgia)
-Copies of Grand Theft Auto: Carser City (from Chatterbox on GTA: 3). It surpasses Vice City in terms of pure style, San Andreas in terms of music selection and map size, and GTA: 3 in terms of revoluntionizing games as we know them. It also ups the levels of violence and destruction to levels never seen before....but people do still occasionally suicidally leap from the sidewalk into the path of your car (Grand Theft Auto series)
-Irrefutable proof that it was in fact an ancestor of Patricia Cornwell that was Jack the Ripper (Parody of a great book known as Portrait of a Killer)
-A film reel labeled "Star Wars III: Jar-Jar Assassination Edition" (my own wishful thinking)
-A handbag full of diamonds (Reservoir Dogs)
-George Lucas' sense of storytelling and plot (REAL LIFE, it's gotta be somewhere)
-Proof that shiny things, flying cars, and akward, hackneyed romantic sub-plots cannot distract people from the fact that your movie prequels lack the magic of the originals. It is simply DVDs of Star Wars I-III (REAL LIFE, my sense of spite, which should probably be included in the Warehouse too)
-Alternate scripts for Star Wars written by Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino, John Woo, JFK, Lee Harvey Oswald, Moses, John the Revelator, Picasso, Vincent Van Gogh, Elvis, and, of course, Jimmy Hoffa (Wishful thinking and minor insanity)
As an interesting side note, Vincent Van Gogh's version of star wars has Luke getting his ear chopped off
-A detailed thesis on why it is in fact PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to rip out someone's skull and beat them to death with it (Red vs Blue, Halo) Also included is a counterpoint thesis from an author known only as Church
:heehee :heehee A detiled paper on how the end of the world happens with ALL of the cliechs tossed int it (Red vs Blue)
-Copies of Grand Theft Auto: Carser City (from Chatterbox on GTA: 3). It surpasses Vice City in terms of pure style, San Andreas in terms of music selection and map size, and GTA: 3 in terms of revoluntionizing games as we know them. It also ups the levels of violence and destruction to levels never seen before....but people do still occasionally suicidally leap from the sidewalk into the path of your car (Grand Theft Auto series)
Carcer city *cough Chicago cough* is blatently where GTA 4 is going to be located. I'm hoping it'll be one massive city with surrounding countryside and minor towns and cities.
Carcer city *cough Chicago cough* is blatently where GTA 4 is going to be located. I'm hoping it'll be one massive city with surrounding countryside and minor towns and cities.
Thanks for the correction, I'm always a stickler about spelling and was worried about that.
My next addition:
Security tapes from a robbery of a diamond wholesaler. Details include a mad gunman systematically shooting random people after the alarm is tripped (Guess this one, it's easy)
http://www.unclebear.com/downloads/warehouse.txt
[YOU WILL SEE ONLY WHAT WE WANT YOU TO]
If I may also add another item or three:
A video of a gigantic, muscular man with a mullet taking on five men in butterfly costumes. The resulting carnage (solely on the side of the butterfly men) is definitly not mentionable within the bounds of good taste
A spindly humanoid robot that makes beeping noises. It has clawed hands and two yellow eyes in it's cylindrical head
A bottle of pandas milk
A dossier on the Impossibles, a group of scientists in the Antarctic. There is the man with the ability to stretch his body, his wife with the ability to make only her skin invisible, a man who bursts into flames when in contact with oxygen, and a giant rock-like man of very low intelligence
my last three days sleep
darrion gray
Seeing as Dorrian Grey saw his own picture:
- There is a glass jar filled with grey dust and labeled as "Remains of D. Grey".
- There is also a coffin welded shut, identified with a plaque showing "Wilhemina Harker - RIP until you are needed once more".
- In the same room as the sealed coffin and jar full of grey dust, there is a 6-wheeled antique automobile (with 4 front wheels) and alabaster white in colour with wrought iron detailing.
- Also, a black trenchcoat with white greasepaint stains, matching gloves, and fedora.
- In another room there is a broken gravestone with only "She saved the world. A lot." readable.
A simple black box with a single white button labeled "Dramatic Sting". Pressing it produces a sudden musical sting like you might find in a horror movie, designed simply to scare you and be a big fake out. Each time the button is pressed, you draw a supernatural serial killer more towards your position. Have fun annoying your friends with it (My brain)
A painting showing a well in the middle of a cleraing with trees in the background
A video tape with no labels
A book with only 7 pages all talking about days
Carcer city *cough Chicago cough* is blatently where GTA 4 is going to be located. I'm hoping it'll be one massive city with surrounding countryside and minor towns and cities.
Carcer City is also where 'Manhunt' took place...
More Warehouse junk:
* Freddie Mercury
It scours the internet, correcting spelling mistakes at a rate of 3 million goobers per hour.
A CD with an insidious virus:
It scours the internet, correcting spelling mistakes at a rate of 3 million goobers per hour.
Out of all the viruses we have to have, why can't we have that one?
Okay then.
- A Clone-o-Matic 6000, makes a perfect clone of you and implants your memories up to the second you died. Currently configured for two and seems to have samples from the dead programmer for spyware and the dead programmer for computer viruses and is 90% complete. (my cheesy mind)
- A tall, skinny guy with a homicidel grin and a flame-thrower positioned right outside the Clone-o-Matic. (my twisted mind)
-The programmer who creates all those annoying pop-ups, being chased around by a tall dude built like a football player and wearing a goalie mask over his face (guess who?). (The Friday the 13th saga and my twisted mind)
-The dude with a flame-thrower and Jason giving each other a high five. (You can figure it out now.)
a Mosin-Nagant 7.62x54mm sniper rifle with a folding stock (MGS3)
a realistic mask of a young man with long blonde hair (MGS3)
a makarov pistol (dont try any tricks with it :D ) (MGS3)
a jet propelled, mobile platform big enough for one person to stand on (MGS3)
a full report on a group of soldiers known only as the Cobras. It includes a full background on all of them (MGS3)
a trio of colt single action army revolvers (MGS3)
There are everchanging stats for you, your friends, your parents, your parent's parents, Moses, that shovel leaning against your house (go check and see!), the computer in front of you as you read this, the sun, even the Universe as a whole (which takes up a seemingly infinite number of pages with the zeros in it's hitpoints alone). Oh look, there's even stats for the guy who cut you off in traffic and that doughnut you ate this morning.
Certain stats are unreadable, usually the ones for higher beings
a homemade tesla coil (Sealab 2021)
a group of very hungry guatemalan fighting dogs (Sealab 2021)
a time machine....well, it's not so much a time machine as it is a dodgeball cannon! (Sealab 2021)
a detailed thesis on why rioters will sometimes stand in the way of very heavy four-legged animals with iron shoes while the men on their backs swing billy clubs and spray mace all over them even as they are in imminent danger of being trampled (my brain, inspired by Max X, a TV show about very painful things happening to people)
the hilarious directors cuts of a certain cruel japanese gameshow known as MXC...and you thought the regular show was bad (MXC)
a pot of chile with the label "Property of Eric Cartman" (South Park)
A inert body of a robot with velociraptor d.n.a. imbedded in its parts
What is that from? Unless it's just from your head.
Now for mine:
The intelligence test results for an exceptionally stupid man from a small town in Rhode Island, who also happens to have a talking dog (you've gotta guess this one. It's from a TV show starring the dumbest man who has ever lived. Yes, even dumber than the legendary dolt known as Homer Simpson) :D
the physical address for the man who first came up with spam email as well as an obituary (wishful thinking)
irrefutable proof that disposable henchmen have a queen, similar to ants or bees (my brain)
-A copy of Ancient Civilazations: the U.S.A of 1776-3300
-A copy of Ancient Civilazations: the U.S.A of 1776-3300
Nice one. Almost eerie in it's own way.
-two lost Shakespeare plays (wishful thinking)
stuff i have used include :
obituary / postuhmous citation for bravery
biography - the less the player can recognise the better
photo album - again stranger the better
make it personal , horror begins at home :P
-a mysterious item which not only defies the laws of physics but disproves them entirely. The functions of this small box are not completely known, but may include time travel, invisibility, or teleportation.
-a 1958 Plymouth Fury, white/pink two-tone paint. If you dent or damage it, the car will somehow magically repair itself. The car can drive itself, as well as being able to influence its owner/driver to do evil things. Though it is written nowhere, you are somehow aware that this car's name is Christine.
You should also mention that it causes victims to run down the middle of the empty street to try to get away from it. :D
PS: I work for the government. doh... I mean, don't work for the government. How do I... stupid... where's the delete... dammit... darn computer... shoulda... awww man. Please disregard.
Well, as long as I'm here; a pencil sharpener. Try figuring out what we use that for. And by we I mean...eh, not the government.
-a room full of gnomes
-a room were ewoks and gnomes are fighting (it appers that the ewoks are winning)
-alpha fighters
-beta fighters
- cyclone combat bikes
-a three leaf plant called "the flower of life"
-the SDF-3
a room that contains a world were Bunny has achived gobal domination
-company records showing misdoing on the part of the Umbrella corporation
Nothing at all. The warehouse is completley empty. In fact, there isn't any government warehouse. It doesn't exist. In fact, this thread doesn't exist. There isn't even a government.
PS: I work for the government. doh... I mean, don't work for the government. How do I... stupid... where's the delete... dammit... darn computer... shoulda... awww man. Please disregard.
Well, as long as I'm here; a pencil sharpener. Try figuring out what we use that for. And by we I mean...eh, not the government.
So do I. Er, I mean... I don't work for the government, as well. Er, either. Nosireebob!
-a mouse covering his privates with is hands.
-jimmy hofas cell phone number.
-a red stapler.
-a book called assited living dracula, penned by bram stoker.
-jane the rippers knife colaction.
-A guy who actually turns into a cute girl when you splash him with cold water and changes back when doused with hot water.
-Manuscripts of a Dave Letterman sketch entitles: "The Top Ten Most Annoying Questions People Ask Moreaus"
-A room full of the Keebler Elves and psychotic Kobolds (the mischevious gnomes of Teutonic [German] folklore; NOT the werid lizardy things from D&D) plotting to eliminate Snap, Crackle, and Pop, along with the conquest of Canada.
-A video tape of Beyond the Grave/Brandon Heat (Gungrave), Alucard (Helsing), Seras/Police Girl (Helsing), and Charby (Charby, the Vampirate) at a breifing to take down the ten top anime characters that need to die!
-A comprehensive doisser of the top ten anime characters that need to die.
-Proof that Douglas Adams is actually a near omnicient pan-dimensional being
-A smart assed homunculus that always has a smart assed respons to every stupid question and a habit of annoying the crap out of Big Foot.
-the comatose body of a guy who actually got a call from Cthulhu...and had to pay tyhe phone bill!
-A Revenant that can't remeber how it was killed or who killed him.
-Proof that Halo is, in fact, a gigantic Stargate. Where it leads, nobody knows
-and, one of the most breathtking items of them all: Bill Brasky!
-12 glass rooms covered in ancient runes. and a pair of glasses next to them.
- Star map coordinates for a planet that's perfectly peaceful, there isn't any war or the reasons why people start wars on the planet. (again, my head)
- A working space ship capable of traveling across the Milky Way galaxy in about a week's time.
-A cute robot shaped like a teddy bear that packs around a .357 magnum and wears a bowler hat
-The mutilated bodies of the 10 most annoying anime characters of all time
-The Sangreal documents
-All the lost copies of the original ET game for Atari
-Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb!
-Conclusive proof that Da Vinci was a transvestite
-A picture of Cthulhu at a Lousianan fish fry
- The only person not annoyed by the inclusion of Jar-jar Binks in Star Wars.
-----------------------------------
Reagan Storme
Yo, who called? Please help me, they don't let me out much.
The Comic Book Guy's Real name. If you try to say it, you can't make any noise, and it can't be wriiten or typed, not to mention it's different for every person who looks at it. (The Simpsons)
The Master Chief, Elvis, JFK, Abraham Lincoln and Emporer palpatine. Playing Go Fish. With a mouse.
Fnord.
A working Model of the Death Star.
Conker T. Squirrel. Seriously Drunk. And listening to his rap single 'No more Tediz' on an ipod.
annie from robotech being torn apart by ewoks
Aha! You correctly guessed on of the 10 most annoying anime characters of all time! I think Annie ranked 4 or 5 (the chick from Fungshuei Yugi was #1). Speaking of which:
-A photo graph dipicting Alucard tearing the main character of Fung Shuei Yugi to pieces, along with that whiny dude from Neo Genesis Evagilion.
-the last Dodo bird....a hermophrodite Dodo bird...
- Shigeru Miyamoto
- A Playstation 86, complete with a copy of HALO 123
- Shannon Doherty's head in a jar
- Harrison Ford...in carbonite
- Amelia Earhart, and Charles Lindburghs son. They're the pround parents of...JON STUART!!
- The love child(read-adopted) of hippie couple Jay Leno and Luke Perry.
- Bob Marley(really, hes not dead, he just passed out in the Bermuda Triangle from...well, it's pretty obvious what he passed out from)
- Shannon Doherty's head in a jar-
it barks furiously at anyone who comes near it and then asks "are you scared....?"
-also, the web address for the dating website that caters to beautiful, intelligent women whose taste in men describes YOU exactly
We can dream...
-Himmler's original SS brooch, which is a command-start to the reverse gravitic induction flying saucer that the Nazis built in 1944.
-Bubba Ho-Tep's sarcophagus
-the complete list of all who helped Alice Cooper work on the Billion Dollar Babies album
-the real Michael Jackson lying in stasis before he was replaced by his evil clone, still sports jheri-curl, a red leather jacket with a big black V in front and back and is wearing the sequined glove.
-the remains of the first man to sport a mullet.
-a paparazzi photo of JFK and Marylin in the bedroom.
-a silver briefcase with absolutely nothing inside- or is there?
-d20 Conversions of White Wolf's World of Darkness series
Would that happen to be next to the d20 Conversions of Rifts and After the Bomb (both of Palladium Books)?
a bag full of liberty head dollars. The only thing odd about them is the phrase "In (unknown alien letters) We Trust"
Would that happen to be next to the d20 Conversions of Rifts and After the Bomb (both of Palladium Books)?
Yes indeed! And right next to those are a Mage, Vampire, and Garou reviewing the contentents off all the d20 convsersions of the World or Darkness books.
What is that from? Unless it's just from your head.
Transformers: Beast Wars, thats Dinobot, by the way
which " incarnation " ?????????????
anyway , i will see your badrick trews and rais you :
wallace`s " TECHNO TROUSERS "
those unaware of " wallace and grommit " should scan this link :
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108598/
QUOUTE : "Baldrick's trousers. Fnord."
which " incarnation " ?????????????
anyway , i will see your badrick trews and rais you :
wallace`s " TECHNO TROUSERS "
those unaware of " wallace and grommit " should scan this link :
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108598/
it's from blackadder 3.
Blackadder: 'The greeks spoke of a container that contained all the ills of the world. all they got wrong was the name. They called it 'Pandora's box', when they really meant 'Baldrick's Trousers.'
A "smallpox vaccine."
Several alien mind control devices
-a Chicago record with an interesting backwards message (Little Nicky)
-reports on a DNA experiment and offspring resulting from the merging of a one Seth MacFarlane and a one Dan Castellaneta. The resulting being is capable of imitating nearly any voice in the world (real world and my brain)
- A cloned body of Emperor Karl Prosek, kept cryogenically frozen next to the cryo-tube for Hitler. (From Rifts and my head, and you'll get the joke if you played the game.)
- A crate filled with mysterious colored vials, they are labeled "Big Death Vaccine" and there's an invoice for the Empire of Humanity. (After the Bomb and my head)
- The gamer that learns that the Palladium Megaverse and d20 Modern use the same basic dice conventions (d4, d6, d8, etc.) and that this petty arguement in some circles over which is "better" is moot. (this is probably myself, but if I was in the Warehouse, then how would I be talking to everyone here?)
- File footage of the Keebler Evles eating Snap, Crackle, and Pop
-The goat bastard who stole Peter's sock
-LEMMIWINKS!
- A photo of Chainsaw Weilding Swedish Gnomes hacking the all time Buttholes of gaming (Crappy level designer and To Long Cut Scene Creator) to shreads
- Footage of Adam Sessler, Morgan Webb, Johnny X-Treme, and Ratty Puppet battling zombified fanboys
- A bottle of "Fanboy Repellent" (endoresed by X-Play)
- Footage Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb beating the crap out of Steven Speilberg for making Star Wars Episodes 1-3...and Jar Jar Binks.
- The manuscript for the first full length d20 Modern adventure schedualed to be realsed in 2051.
- Teenage Mutant (you all know what comes next!)...Kung Fu Chickens!
A turtle possessed by the soul of Corey Feldman (Robot Chicken)
The damage report from the wrist nuke explosion resulting from an akward date between the Predator and an Alien (Robot Chicken)
An incredibly (offensive/insulting/insensitive, take your pick) film starring Hillary Duff: "The Diary of Anne Frank" (Robot Chicken)
-An alien spacecraft. The label says it was towed for parking illegally.
-Elvis
-A huge selection of nondescript black suits and dark sunglasses of various sizes.
-A flesh sample labeled "Cthulu"
-The last fifteen minutes of The Italian Job, stolen just before the film was released
- A severed and slightly charred right hand labeled "Vecna's Other Hand"
* Bag of assorted organs, probably from a giant lobster. Marked "Roswell".
* A broken bottle of "BEND
-a short film titled "A Burns For All Seasons" and one titled "Man Getting Hit By Football" (The Simpsons)
-how you can be your own grandpa! (inspired by an above post, Futurama)
"Oh, a lesson on not changing history by Mr. I'm My Own Grandpa! Screw history!"
-a cake with green icing that looks like it was left out in the rain. Better enjoy it, because the recipe is missing (guess this one)
vecna was male right ?
a strait jacket to use on any one stoopid enough to preform the amputation necessary to use this item :P
* A small sealed box marked H-142, with a warning (signed 1899) to keep sealed for your own safety.
* A medal of bravery, marked to have been owned by Mr. Hyde, signed by M and Bond.
The Bow of Skorm
-A box of grid squares.
-Blinker fluid.
-Winter air for tires.
-Canopy lights.
-Chem-Light bateries.
*special thanks to Skippy*
(any electricians should get that one)
-Keys to the Drop Zone.
-A box of grid squares.
-Blinker fluid.
-Winter air for tires.
-Canopy lights.
-Chem-Light bateries.
*special thanks to Skippy*
Elbow Grease....
O'Malley from Red vs. Blue.
Sheila the tank from Red vs. Blue.
A Fnord clone.
Lomez the Heavy from Red vs. Blue.
The Real scripts for the Star Wars Prequel films (That don't suck at all) It has been rejected for 'not having enough Jar-Jar.'-by Jar-Jar Binks and Jimmy Hoffa.
Al Capone's baseball bat (Real life (I think) and The Untouchables)
Al Capone's golf bag (Real)
JFK's golf clubs. They are terribly bent and mangled, rendering them useless (Seinfeld)
A CSI report on how a horse poisoned an old woman (Stewie Griffin, The Untold Story)
Proof that mankind has never ever set foot on the moon, and the first moonlanding was just made in a studio in Orlando.
Not only that, but proof that one of the astronauts was confronted by someone not in on the conspiracy when he stepped outside the studio and had to bludgeon the potential tattle-tale with his helmet so that he could load him into the trunk of his car.
Not only that, but proof that one of the astronauts was confronted by someone not in on the conspiracy when he stepped outside the studio and had to bludgeon the potential tattle-tale with his helmet so that he could load him into the trunk of his car.
Hah, yeah that too.
-A manuscript that describes what pitch one needs to produce the "Brown Note."
-The lost letters of the human alphabet. Certain characters cause adverse side-effects to
those who hear them used.
-Proof that the Muppets aren't puppets control with wires.
-A painting of Stalin, Napolean, Ceasar, and Alexander playing 'Risk'. The painting is
postdated in the mid-2000's.
-A collection of movie scripts and television pilots 10x better than Friends and Seinfield. A
note attached at the top exclaims, "You owe me one... D. Evil."
-Fossilized Raptor Eggs from the 18th century.
-A Sports Almanac that displays all the winning teams in every major sport through the 22nd
century. A falsified copy has been seen floating around in a series of major motion pictures.
-funnel cakes! (see above)
the colonel`s big recepie book - which proves he was incapable of preparing anything inndible and or none toxic
which begs the question :
where did the " secret recepie " come from ?
inspired by MDM05 :
the colonel`s big receipe book - which proves he was incapable of preparing anything inedible and or non-toxic...
which begs the question :
where did the " secret receipe" come from?
I'm glad I'm an inspiration amongst other things... ;)
Add these to the list:
- Ticket stubs from the theater where Abraham Lincoln was shot. Oddly enough, the date on the tickets is recent...perhaps the same date were a few PCs would find them? :D
- CIA documents proving the existance of extra-terrestials. Photographs of enormous flying saucers are amongst the proof as well as sheet music providing particular notes. Probably nothing, but worth investigating. (credit: Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind)
- A functional jet-pack.
- An invisible jet. Special tape has been added to the wings and fuselage so others can actually locate the darn thing... (credit: Wonder Woman + tape)
- A pallet of sod taken from the grassy knoll where JFK was supposedly shot from...or was it a book depository? Grass from a library...hmm.
-The Crest on Birdman's Helmet! (Harvey Birdman)
-A book that teaches you how to appear to be paying attention to a conversation while actually not. Upon reading it, you realize that everyone you talk to appears to be using the techniques, but only when they talk to you! (my brain)
Proof that mankind has never ever set foot on the moon, and the first moonlanding was just made in a studio in Orlando.
Proof that mankind has landed on the moon, and Mars and Europa and Titan besides. Notes on the conspiracy to convince the general public of the exact opposite. :P
The sound of Silence (Simon and Garfunkel)
-MVK
Edit: My plot to be on the top of all three Modern boards is a success! :evillaugh
Edit Edit: How fleeting is fame
* A chair on a rig with many gadgets and levers all over. On a display in front of the seat you read yesterdays date.
(from Time Machine, the latest movie)
-K
paper work on government prodect soilent green and gray (the second one is from a popular computer game, guess which one)
-Two movie scripts, one an original and one a copy of that with heavy editing and notes in red ink. All of the notes tell the writer to replace the really fleshed out and physically probable technology with your standard movie technology (all style, no substance). There are also notes about keeping the actual events of the future a secret and to replace the "Eloi Empire" with the Morlocks being the dominant ones.
- THE NECROMONICON! Along with a +4 Sawed off Shotgun and +5 Vorpal Chainsaw. :D The chainsaw cannot be used properly (-4 attack) even with the Exotic Weapons feat, and only functions as the +5 Vorpal Chainsaw when it is attached to the stump of an amputated hand.
- The body of Alistair Crowley.
- The body of Pink Floyd's first lead singer.
... a phone booth belonging to a certain Doctor?
... the belly buttons of Adam and Eve
... a portrait of Mohammed
... the fourth nail from the crucifiction
... one of the creatures from "Tremors"
... the answer to which came first.. the chicken or the egg
... a map to where the Anastazi went [(sp) mysterious people in the southwest]
Two Solanum Immune Humans
Three Zombies
Counts Dracula & and Vladimere (sp[the original vampires])
83. The original unaired pilot for the Justice League Live action TV show
=-
One of the local independent video stores in Austin TX has a copy of this on their shelves.
- A cure for AIDS, unreleased because it gives the recipeint cancer.
- A cure for cancer, unreleased becuse it gives the recipeint AIDS.
- A large ruby, a bag of sand, and an oddly stylized gas mask.
- Shmee, Spooky, Nailbunny, Rev. Meat, and the Psycho-Doughboys playing keep away with Fillerbunny's internal organs.
- A red bodysuit and black cape that give the wearer super powers, instructions not available.
- Avengers Identi-Cards for Link of Hyrule, Ken Masters, Ash Ketchum, Buffy Summers, and Carl Brutananadilewski.
- a cd-rom broken in 2. On 1 piece is written "Necronomicon.pdf".
- a cd-rom broken in 2. On 1 piece is written "Necronomicon.pdf".
That's nasty.
- Avengers Identi-Cards for Link of Hyrule, Ken Masters, Ash Ketchum, and Buffy Summers.
That's nastier.
- A cure for AIDS, unreleased because it gives the recipeint cancer.
- A cure for cancer, unreleased becuse it gives the recipeint AIDS.
And that just takes the cake!
heres a pick of how the cable is carried prior to deployment :
http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/2485/tastrope5es.jpg
A collection of crashed X-box 360s and all the money that Microsoft loses on each X-Box 360 (about 126 dollars per a box)
The ashes of countless priceless artifacted, burned because a night watchman played an xbox-360 with the power supply cable not suspended over a fan.
Severed Monkey's Paw
This severed monkey's is dried and severed at the wrist. It will grant 3 wishes, but with each wish come terrible results.
Severed Monkey's Paw
This severed monkey's is dried and severed at the wrist. It will grant 3 wishes, but with each wish come terrible results.
A battle room and 41 flash suites
1 million xp if you can name the source
Ender's game!
On that note...
-A working Ansible
-Anton's key
-Petra's missing Embryo's
-A video recording unit that records the world as 16-bit inhanced sprites.
(Batman rules)
A broken pair of spectacles. (The Twilight Zone: Season 1, Episode 8, "Time Enough At Last" - November 20, 1959)
A golden thimble, slightly scratched. (The Twilight Zone: Season 1, Episode 34, "The After Hours" - June 10, 1960)
A simple glass bottle, of the kind that might be returned for a deposit. When opened, a genie appears in modern dress to grant the opener four wishes. (The Twilight Zone: Season 2, Episode 2, "The Man in the Bottle" - October 7, 1960)
An odd-looking little machine with a devil's head mounted on a spring that is labeled as "The Mystic Seer." It accepts pennies and dispenses startlingly accurate (if vague) fortunes in the form of small printed cards when asked a yes or no question. (The Twilight Zone: Season 2, Episode 7, "Nick of Time" - November 18, 1960)
An unusual antique-looking camera with the inscription, "Dix à un propriétaire." ("Ten to an owner," in French) When a picture is snapped, the camera produces it from a slot atop the unit, but the picture inevitably reveals the future five minutes from the time the shutter button is depressed. (The Twilight Zone: Season 2, Episode 10, "A Most Unusual Camera" - December 16, 1960)
An antique hunting rifle, circa 1846. It is badly worn and pitted, with a broken stock, as if exposed to the elements for a century or so. (The Twilight Zone: Season 2, Episode 23, "A Hundred Yards Over the Rim" - April 7, 1961)
A book titled simply, "Mind Over Matter." (The Twilight Zone: Season 2, Episode 27, "The Mind and the Matter" - May 12, 1961)
A mirror that reveals the faces of one's enemies and potential assassins. (The Twilight Zone: Season 3, Episode 6, "The Mirror" - October 20, 1961)
A painting of the sun, rising over a cityscape. (The Twilight Zone: Season 3, Episode 10, "The Midnight Sun" - December 17, 1961)
A lion's tooth in the form of a charm. (The Twilight Zone: Season 3, Episode 12, "The Jungle" - December 1, 1961)
An expensive pair of shoes. (The Twilight Zone: Season 3, Episode 18, "Dead Man's Shoes" - January 19, 1962)
A leatherbound book with odd lettering on the front. The same alien language is found throughout the book. Should anyone prove capable of deciphering the work, they find that the title reads, "To Serve Man." (The Twilight Zone: Season 3, Episode 24, "To Serve Man" - March 2, 1962)
An 8 x 10 black-and-white photograph of a handsome young man. (The Twilight Zone: Season 3, Episode 25, "The Fugitive" - March 9, 1962)
An advertisement for "The New Life Corporation," which promises people in their twilight years young, pain-free artificial bodies, for the incredible price of only $10,000. (The Twilight Zone: Season 3, Episode 31, "The Trade-Ins" - April 20, 1962)
A partially-burned note that reads, "Greetings to the people of Earth. We come in peace. We bring you this gift. The following chemical formula is a vaccine against all forms of cancer..." The rest is burned away. (The Twilight Zone: Season 3, Episode 32, "The Gift" - April 27, 1962)
An odd mechanical device with a set of strange cards, each labeled as mundane objects and a pattern of dots and lines. When inserted into a slot in the machine and the switch flipped, a perfect replica of the object indicated on the card, real in all respects, is created. (The Twilight Zone: Season 4, Episode 3, "Valley of the Shadow" - January 17, 1963)
An armband, bearing the insignia of a torch with a lightning bolt behind it. (The Twilight Zone: Season 4, Episode 4, "He's Alive" - January 24, 1963)
An ordinary-looking, if antique, stopwatch (the analog kind, not digital). When the button is pressed, time stops for all but the individual holding the watch. (The Twilight Zone: Season 5, Episode 4, "A Kind of Stopwatch" - October 18, 1963)
A child's doll in the form of a little girl. When the string on her back is pulled, a feminine voice is heard saying, "My name is Talky Tina, and I love you." (The Twilight Zone: Season 5, Episode 6, "Living Doll" - November 1, 1963)
A bottle of liquid, not unlike that used in hospitals (i.e., with a rubber stopper that a needle is inserted into to withdraw a sample of the contents). The label reads only, "youth serum." (The Twilight Zone: Season 5, Episode 11, "A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain" - December 13, 1963)
An ornate, full-face Mardi Gras mask. (The Twilight Zone: Season 5, Episode 25, "The Masks" - March 20, 1964)
An oversized red button labeled "EASY" in large white letters. When pressed, whatever the user desires appears before him or her. (Staples commercials)
Jesus Christ's birth certificate. The date is smudged and obscured. (Biblical)
Plans for building one's own fully-functional lightsaber. (Star Wars)
A carburetor that gets approximately 1,000 miles to the gallon. (urban legend)
A dagger that permits its user to reverse or slow down time. (Prince of Persia)
A "lost" Ellery Queen mystery with the final chapter torn out and missing. (original; the revelation is, of course, in the missing chapter)
A battered, ancient, leather-bound manuscript titled, "There, and Back Again," by one B. Baggins. The work appears to be hand-written. (The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien)
Scientific evidence that a rogue comet will, in fact, strike the Earth in the year 2015. A mandate signed by the leaders of various nations is also included, stating that to reveal the truth to the world would be disasterous, and the end must come with the citizens of Earth blissfully ignorant. (conspiracy theory)
A videotape containing amateur footage of three college students on what appears to be a disasterous camping trip. The tape becomes increasingly disjointed, ending with the apparent demise of the trio at the hands of an unknown assailant. Included with the tape is an early draft of a script titled, "The Blair Witch Project." (The Blair Witch Project)
A yellowed police file on Jack the Ripper, labeled as the property of Scotland Yard. One section is sealed on the authority of Queen Victoria. If the seal is broken, pertinent data, including the identity of the killer, is found to be blacked out. (historical)
Video footage that shows what appears an odd, black rectangle that stands upright in the center of a crater on the moon. (2001: A Space Odyssey)
A fossilized trilobite (a creature known to have existed in the Cambrian period some 600 million years ago) that has been crushed by a sandaled human foot. They are estimated to have become extinct about 245 million years ago, 240 million years before the first humans began to walk on two legs. (urban legend)
A Neaderthal skull dated at 50,000 years old with an 8mm bullet hole in it. (urban legend)
A recreation of a tomb with actual artifacts including a Neaderthal skull, a suit of medieval chain mail, and iron arrow heads. (urban legend)
A copy of this list, edited to remove commentary, duplications, and nonsensical entries, spelling corrected, and cross-referenced with sources.
item # 10000027679 - " wizosith ", entoombed in carbonite
an empty stilage , surrounded by shards of fractured carbonite lies inbetween these two items .
analysis indicates that the carbonite fragments were shattered by internal pressure .
enjoy
-your mom j/k
-irreputible evidence that the matrix movies are for real and we are all living in an illusion
-Osama Bin Laden
-Hitler
-a mountain dew bottling factory and they are making the dew out of dead babies' brain juices
-the holy grail
-god
-the scream (painting that is currently stolen)
Hitler's brain (urban legend/conspiracy theory)
Charles Babbage's original difference engine (historical)
* A box of discarded toys from Santa's Workshop, one of the toys marked as to represent a real martian (from Santa Claus conquer the Martians).
* A stand with a broken and dusty golden staff with a playstation controller on top. And a dusty golden crown. They are both labeled "Must be ready for the next Winter-een-mas to conquer and rule the gamers money" (Ctrl+Alt+Del - Tragically l337)
Homer, alive and well, telling any one who will listen that the greeks stole his story, and ranting that it was a Celtic war.
(Both from Where Troy Once Stood)
-Tesla, Einstien, Hitler, and your Great-Grandfather, in Deep Freeze state
-Equipment for measuring temporal disruptions. It is sounding a warning signal when you walk into the room. Seeing your other self, you panic and shoot you, but miss, and only get your arm.
-The crew of USS Eldridge, circa OCtober 1945, imbedded in various chunks of metal. They are all quite healthy and in good spirits, and a few invite the uninjured and original you to a game of D20 Modern
-The video of the extratemporal creature that attacked the Montauk underground base.
-US$10 billion in stolen Nazi gold.
-US$10 billion in stolen Nazi gold.
the crate it is in has a tag reading "Found in a Cave in Argentina"
A large Urn containing the ashes of Adolph Hitler, about ten pounds less than it should be wiith a tag reading "The Real Adolf Hitler" in german, with a Nazi seal on it.
EDIT:How could I have spelled Slurm wrong?
A can of Splerm.
Assuming you are referencing Futurama, that's Slurm.
a set of cutlery
(Source: Creepshow the movie)
One fateful night, ignorant hayseed Jordy Verrill was out in his fields when he saw a streak of fire from the sky. He found the crater from the impact and discovered a meteorite roughly the size of a basketball. Thinking that he could get as much as $250 or so dollars from the local university, Jordy attempted to take the meteorite, and burned the tips of his fingers from the heat. He decided to pour a bucket of water over it in order to cool it down. The rapid cooling split the meteorite in two. Jordy picked up the two halves, and after dumping out the glowing blue liquid that was inside, he dropped them into the bucket, and placed it on his front porch till morning.
Unfortunately, a VERY aggressive form of plant life swept over his farm that night, and whipped through his home. Jordy, burned by the thing, found plantlife actively growing up his arm. After taking a hot bath to soothe the itching, the substance took over his body. Before he managed to take his own life via shotgun blast to what was left of his head, he resembled a human-sized green muppet.
Due to the extremely dangerous nature of the meteorite halves, now called the Jordy Verrill Meteorite, it is kept in an air-tight moisture free storage container. However, if either half were to be let loose in the world, it would be the end of human life as we know it.
-proof that all of those cliched "your mamma" jokes actually originate with your mama. You might wanna put some ointment on that burn!
-video footage of your parents in a doctor's office. The doctor is telling them that it is impossible to abort you seeing as how you are already four years old. The Ultimate Blooper!
-the skull of Bon Scott. It has two marks on it that might have grown to be horns had they not been removed at birth. (Black Knight comment: a Black Knight Point to the first person who can top this reference while still remaining true to the weirdness of the Warehouse)
-Coleman Francis. Enough said. (note two of the movies mentioned in my signature)
He is, of course, stored in the human oddities section of the warehouse with Gary Coleman, Walt Disney, and that kid from Webster.
He is, of course, stored in the human oddities section of the warehouse with Gary Coleman, Walt Disney, and that kid from Webster.
When I was little, I met that Webster kid in front of the Statue of David in Rome. Even have a picture with him somewhere. Funny thing is that this was like 10 years ago, and he was some 18 years old.
wow-ee, THAT was off topic...so...
Plans revealing that the Statue of David is in fact a large techno-organic mecha encased in psychoactive marble composite, psionically attuned to that kid from Webster's brain-wave frequency.
Does anyone even know his name without having to look it up?
Does anyone even know his name without having to look it up?
Without the need to look it up, his name is Emmanuel Lewis.
Webster's grandfather clock.
When placed upon any wall, and wound to read midnight (or noon), the clock will chime 12, and can be OPENED from the wall, creating a dimensional door to a predetermined location.
Showing my age here, but I used to watch Webster, Different Strokes, and Silver Spoons when I was little.
Final print copies of D&D 3.75, 4.0, 4.5, and 5.0, and d20 Modern 2.0, 2.1, and 2.2, all post-dated for release about 2 years apart, starting in 2006. (conspiracy theory)
Complete schematics for nuclear-powered replacement eyes, arms, and legs, along with film footage. The footage shows a terrible crash of a test plane and the subsequent medical operation (on the unidentified male pilot) that replaces his legs, right arm, and left eye. The footage also features test results indicating that the subject is better, stronger, and faster than before. (television - The Six Million Dollar Man)
A phone number. If dialed, a man with a very distinctive voice answers. If asked, he claims to be Elvis Presley, and says that he and several other prominent figures presumed dead are actually living on an uncharted island in the South Pacific, all their needs cared for. (urban legend/conspiracy theory)
- Chuck Norris; cryogenically frozen and awaiting to be revived when the world really needs his roundhouse kick.
And I assume he's stored somewhere between Ice T and Austin Powers?
A phone number. If dialed, a man with a very distinctive voice answers. If asked, he claims to be Elvis Presley, and says that he and several other prominent figures presumed dead are actually living on an uncharted island in the South Pacific, all their needs cared for. (urban legend/conspiracy theory)
* ...and in the background you hear the voice of someone who without doubt has to be another Jimmy Hoffa clone.
* The proof that all those good tv-series who ran for a very short time and then canceled, was threatened of the air because they refused to include the governments subliminal messages.
* A document stating that the investigation of the Oceanic Flight 815 disappearance should be canceled, and not mentioned to the public. And a later document stating that Jeffrey Abrams would probably not be a threat, as he has appearantly lost his memory, and has already started a new life in New York, with work as a tv-producer.
-The only person not annoyed by the inclusion of Jar-jar Binks in Star Wars.
-----------------------------------
Reagan Storme
What am I doing in there?
What am I doing in there?
If we told you we would have to kill you.
An overdue library book.
Why?
Why?
Do you really think Jimmy Hoffa is allowed to leave the Gov Warehouse, even to deliver his book?
Why?
From a game I ran when we playtested Dark*Matter. The book does not exist, but is in fact a disguised access portal to an alien knowledge warehouse. One of the players was bequeathed it by a distant relative, next thing he knows; MiB's invading his life and LGM invading his dreams.
-Gods mistakes
-More of Gods mistakes
AND
-Who is this God fellow anyway?
The blue prints for the original invasion plans of the US showing a massive underground network connecting europe and america under the north sea.
And I assume he's stored somewhere between Ice T and Austin Powers?
Chuck Norris cannot be contained, even within the warehouse. He just roundhouse kicks himself out of whatever crate he is put in. That is, if he allows himself to be be captured anyway.
The infamous Flying Car, complete with the German Scientist, "offering" it to you at a "low price."
The monkeys from Outbreak, 28 Days Later, and 12 Monkeys.
V'ger
An actual copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide with the Question to the Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Fallout 3- :P
Kenny's and lots of them.
-A Pigoon, Rakunk, and a post-apocalyptic wanderer by the name of "Snowman"
-A bottle of BlyssPluss
-The source of all those "Your momma's so..." jokes
-True immortality, no fear of death.
PS: A cookie to the person who names the book I got most of those items from.
-The weapon used to kill King Tutankhamun
Wasn't Tutankhamun strangled?
Brahm Stoker's corpes - with a steak through his heart.
Is it a rare steak? I prefer mine medium well, but i dunno about corpses.
Wasn't Tutankhamun strangled?
The corpse is so old it is hard to tell he was either strangled or hit really hard on the back of the head, or fell on his back really hard.
-The 8th day of the week the govenment didn't want us to know about.
-Webster's Dictionary of "Layman's Terms".
-A small village of Oompa Loompas led by a strange man with a funny hat.
-The d20 Jesus Christ used to play D&D.
-The rest of Jesus Christ's dice collection (a d4, a d6, a d8, a d10, a d12, and a d100).
-Bottled Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
-A 1,500 word essay on why a mouses balls (can I say balls?
) drag on the ground and they aren't hurt. (written by me in the 5th grade for my unwillingness to shut up about it ;) )-A cryogeniclly frozen pizza.
-Clones of Eddie Murphy and Lindsay Lohan that they couldn't get rid of after the movies Pluto Nash, and the remake of Parent Trap.
-Written proof that Order 66 actually just mean't Palpatine didn't want olives on his pizza.
I haven't read this entire thread so I apologize if I repeat anything.
I highly suggest reading the thread, some posts are quite funny.
- Copies of all the Star Wars RPG books that WotC has printed.
- Finalized edits of all the Star Wars RPG books that WotC hasn't printed.
- The alien equivalent of a bovine, having been captured by humans and its internal organs removed by methods unknown.
- A picture of Nessie, Richard Nixon, Elvis, Bigfoot and Bernadette Peters playing poker.
- The definition of 'nyar.'
nyar. :coolcthul
A working suit of MJOLNIR armor (you have to be a real nerd to know what I’m talking about).
A list showing what REALY goes into the McDonalds food you just ordered.
A portal to the D&D universe
George W. Bush’s IQ test results (never released to the general public)
A legal version of Lime Wire
Anti-Virus software that works
A locker with a miniature world in it
A door in the wall that leads to a giant bus terminal (we are in the locker)
And, lastly, that kazoo I threw in the bushes behind my house when I was 8 and never found. (it must be pretty dirty)
The Star Wars jawa action figure that my brother and I mysteriously lost during one of our play sessions in the bedroom of my grandmother's house some 24 years ago. We searched and searched, but never were able to find that little sucker. Even years later, when the house was sold and all the furniture in it moved out, we never did find that jawa.
- A database containing biographies for every person who has ever lived on Earth. The biographies are startlingly complete, including details about famous personas of the past that only someone who knew them intimately would be familiar with (ever wonder what naughty word George Washington spoke aloud behind his father's barn when he thought he was alone on Wednesday, May 12, 1742?). Further research indicates that the biography of the person doing the browsing is there, too. But when read, it reveals that everything he remembers about his life has been a lie.
- A handwritten inventory on a vellum scroll. It is written in Hebrew and appears to be a list of animals, alphabetized by common name. There are tickmarks by the majority of the names, but conspicuously absent are ticks for unicorns, dragons, and various dinosaurs.
- A second scroll, found with the first and also written in Hebrew, details plans for a system of cryogenic hibernation and matter compression, along with notes detailing how to best arrange frozen and miniaturized cargo in a 300 x 50 x 30 cubit area. The freezing and compression system is apparently designed to run off of something called "manna."
A carburetor that gets approximately 1,000 miles to the gallon. (urban legend)
A 1000 mpg carburetor that really works.
The car that the carburetor is bolted to. If only Bigfoot can stop Jimmy Hoffa, Rynhold, Elvis, and JFK joy riding in it with Chuck Norris in the back roundhouse kicking mail boxes and other stuff in the Warehouse as they zoom by. But hey, they are bored.
Mythbusters tested those gas urban legends and none of them really worked, but they found out that a diesel cars can run off of used cooking oil without changing the car in any way.
- The alchemical process required to change lead into gold (in a cost effective manner)
- Recipie for KFR (kentucky fried rat); taste test showed they were better, but that the public just wouldn't accept it, chicken substitute was used instead
- Glass orb with a beatig heart; appears human
- Skeleton demanding a drink of wine
- The smith who made all of the imitation excaliburs
- Easter island statue that has glowing azure eyes; it's typing on a computer with unrecognizable symbols
- Large fragment of what appear to be jade; geiger counters are silent outside 5cm, but rate unbelivable radiation within 5cm.
- 5 sided black pyramid, 1ft high; kept within a heavily shield room preventing any radiation from reaching it.
- Pandora's box
- Pandora's cabinet
- Pandora's wardrobe; it doesn't lead to narnia
- A bag of everlasing gobstoppers; free samples
- Snoring man on a seely bed; sign reads R.V.Winkle
- Large room with a living tree, roots on concrete (no water/dirt), a "T" carved into the trunk
- The dewitchery diamond. yes this is that facility (vwoot, low secutiy!)
- 11th spelling of the tetragrammaton
- Ramthonodox's brain
- The orb of Aldur
- An octiron staff and matching dagger
- A laser made 100% from duct tape) you just need to know how to fold it
- Bunny Sith; where he lives now that he's taken over the world
- Kirby Sith, in carbonite; tried to betray bunny
- A room filled with DNA samples of valuable people through history; except that it's dated 2373, and you're on the list.
- The holy hand grenade
- Xbox 90 degrees
- 18 kittens, playing with thier mittens; with decanters of endless milk
- Atomic powered robot ant; government issue
- Giant atomic powered robot ant; drivable
- Every die in the world that you've thrown away in disgust.
- Terminal that allows people to upload into a "matrix" world; paperwork citing that the system was created by atlaneans
- Teminal that allows people to break the simmulation and leave our "matrix" world
- The knights who say "Ni"
- The slime monster from your fridge
- A notebook, addressed to you, and in your handwriting; you start reading; "If all has gone well, you've just found this book in your back pack, and are wondering were it's from. This is a waring from the future; it can, nay, Must be changed! At lunch bell tomorrow you must..." you stop reading as you realize that you've been out of colledge for three years now.
- Route to the repository for dangerous things.
- Route to the mansion of E
- Route to station V3
- Route to the cross-time cafe
- Alternate history travel guides headquarters
- Yggdarsil (or at least a sapling)
- Empty room, the wall opposite the door labled "4", there are small holes throughout the wall, through which a small quantiy of water leaks. Those who peer through a hole can't remember what they saw on the other side (the fourth wall's crying!)
Dorian Gray's painting
- A box to which is attached an apparatus containing a radioactive atomic nucleus and a canister of poison gas. The box, if opened, contains either a dead cat or a live cat (50% chance of either). So long as the box remains unopened, it contains both a dead cat and a live cat (an undead cat?) or perhaps not even a cat at all, but opening the box reduces the two probabilities to one static result.
- An aged and pitted straight razor, marked only with a stylized "W."
- The skeleton of a donkey, set between two moldy and rotted piles that might have once been bales of hay. The skeleton is perfectly intact and has suffered no physical damage.
- In a darkened chamber is what appears to be a scale model of the Sol system. The walls of the chamber are filled with tiny, twinkling lights. In the third orbit, a turtle slowly plods around in a perfectly circular path, seemingly oblivious to its surroundings. Upon its shell is a plate. Closer examinations shows tiny landforms and water formations, the water spilling off the sides of the plate and into a fine mist. If the plate is touched or moved, the whole warehouse rocks violently, as if in the throes of an earthquake.
- The intact skeleton of a creature that is neither man nor monkey, but could in truth be either.
In the third orbit, a turtle slowly plods around in a perfectly circular path, seemingly oblivious to its surroundings. Upon its shell is a plate. Closer examinations shows tiny landforms and water formations, the water spilling off the sides of the plate and into a fine mist.
Dude, what about the four elephants?
By the way, anyone care to take a stab at identifying those artifacts?
~George Lucas' soul
~marbles
A staff with a charred hand topping it.
A cape/robe with two large red hands on it
A blue car with the top down, it's engine is busted
The remains of a man with goat legs and huge knees
A couch so decimated by lack of care and unspeakable things that you dont even entertain the thought of sitting on it
A dead poodle. The name tag reads "Pepe"
DO you watch the place while the master is away?
- A large red pointed hat with sequins that spell "wizzard"
- A large iron turtle; investigation quickly shows that it can contain a fire as well as manacles around the back.
- A motercycle made out of bones, that maintains a warm azure glow.
- A room filled with hourglasses; one notable one is so twisted and warped, that the sand flows sideways or even upward in certain locations.
Discworld. Those books rule!
- 144 blue candles, if lit, the flame glows black and offers no warmth
- 50 crates of oranges; if peeled, every orange is actually an apple underneath
- A grandfather clock made for a 28 hour day, but it always strikes midnight and noon accurately
- 20 barrels labled as biohazardous waste; one is leaking tapioca pudding
- 27 letters of correspondance between Steven Hawking and H.G Wells; the subject is thier respective girlfriends (a pair of sisters), but the letterhead reads 2344
- An apparently infinite roll of duct tape; warning lable (in 11th century dutch) that the last 200ft is cursed.
- A wireless router that, if connected to any computer, allows immediate unlimited access to the internet. If you set your computer's clock from any online source, it sets the year to 2111
- A tavern run buy a large irishman, a counter clock sits above a large mirror behind the bar
- A horde of wild cherries wearing loincloths and wielding tooth pick sized spears.
- A bus stop that is vacant except for a man that insists upon waiting for Godah.
- A botanical labyrinth made from creeping vines and thick, thorn hedges. Travelling through the area you can't help but notice dozens of skeletons upon the path.
- A calculator that is made to figure in base 18 math; the keys are in symbols that resemble egyptian hieroglyphics
- A large fireplace, that houses a small bobbing flame, that upon your approach, asks for a log, as it's flame is receeding.
- An extending extension cord; it can be anywhere from 5ft to 3200ft long, and and can susstain the power load of a small nuclear poweplant.
...Clear!
, bu-, bu-Phew, it's alive... It's ALIVE
evillaugh:evillaugh- A 25 meter ball of rubber bands (actually haunted by a obsessive compulsive ghost who want's to keep it as the real world record).
- A game of battleship that actually real ships when one in the game is lost.
- A circle that glows blue. A note comments that pi is = to 3.0... somehow.
- A room filled with firearms, many of which seem familiar (at least to anyone with such knowledge). Close inspection reveals that none of the guns have any way to load be loaded. Paperwork descibes that these strange weapons can be fired a seeming unlimited number of times, until the eventually explode (spraying a large area with more shrapnel than is available in most automobiles).
Every 1/2 empty pen you ever lost.
Every Sci-Fi character ever.
Every check lost in the mail.
crate inside which 1+1 = 1 (used as a trash can)
stock tickertaper that is constantly printing out pi, no one knows where the paper comes from
Captain N's NES controller belt buckle and zapper gun.
Deck of Magick the Gather cars that casts the spells as though they were real
Red Bull that actually does give you wings(Orginal fomula for Red Bull)
Bottom less pit
Chronos' Hourglass
Flowers that smoke during the day and when out of UV light, the head bursts into flower sized flames and continues to burn until UV light is re-introduced.
A box to which is attached an apparatus containing a radioactive atomic nucleus and a canister of poison gas. The box, if opened, contains either a dead cat or a live cat (50% chance of either). So long as the box remains unopened, it contains both a dead cat and a live cat (an undead cat?) or perhaps not even a cat at all, but opening the box reduces the two probabilities to one static result.
Rynhold pegged this one, and I expected nearly everyone would have figured out that this is none other than Schrödinger's cat.
An aged and pitted straight razor, marked only with a stylized "W."
To get this one, you would have had to understood that William of Ockham originally put forth the theorum that would become known as Occam's (or Ockham's) razor. As the good William was a Franciscan friar, it is probable that he shaved his scalp in a tonsure. This, then, is his razor. Just a bit of physics humor.
The skeleton of a donkey, set between two moldy and rotted piles that might have once been bales of hay. The skeleton is perfectly intact and has suffered no physical damage.
As I was on the subject of paradoxes, I thought that it might be fun to include Buridan's ass, which states that an entirely rational ass, placed exactly in the middle between two stacks of hay of equal size and quality, will starve since it cannot make any rational decision to start eating one rather than the other.
In a darkened chamber is what appears to be a scale model of the Sol system. The walls of the chamber are filled with tiny, twinkling lights. In the third orbit, a turtle slowly plods around in a perfectly circular path, seemingly oblivious to its surroundings. Upon its shell is a plate. Closer examinations shows tiny landforms and water formations, the water spilling off the sides of the plate and into a fine mist. If the plate is touched or moved, the whole warehouse rocks violently, as if in the throes of an earthquake.
This one was included just because I first read it in Dr. Hawking's book, A Brief History of Time and I knew that someone would ask about the elephants, to which I could offer the reply, "It's turtles all the way down." Eh, I guess you had to be there.
The intact skeleton of a creature that is neither man nor monkey, but could in truth be either.
Once again, Rynhold is spot on. This is, naturally, the skeletal remains of the missing link (or perhaps it's just a elaborate hoax). Who can say?
THE SWAN
Also included is detailed information about the Council of XII (The governing body of the "Ghosts" in the internet), and how exactly a person's mind and soul can be transferred into the internet should they be killed while logged into the internet ala Matrix or Ghost in the Shell, thus becoming "Ghosts."
A Holorecording of World War III
A Holorecording of Hitler meeting up with a group of aliens, the aliens proceed to kill and clone Hitler, using him to try to kill the Jews to prevent the Jews from stopping them in the future.
A Holorecording of a group of Jews destroying a fleet of said aliens in the future, spurred to wage war against the fleet for it's attempt to wipe them out during WWII
A Holorecording of the remainder of the race planing on going back in time to assasinate Hitler and kill off all the Jews
A treatise, using the above situation as an example, of why it is, in fact, impossible to change the past, and trying to do so is pointless (Inspired by Timeline [the book, not that horrible movie made based on it, cause come on, that thing just sucked])
A Holorecording of You leading military forces to victory in WWIII
A Holorecording of a meeting of the Board, the group behind all the rumors of the Illuminati, the Masons, etc. Groups thought up to distract the public from the true intentions of the Board, destroy all world governments and plunge the world into anarchy
A Holorecording of the Zombies released in 2016 by the Chinese in an attempt to destroy the United States and the Vatican as an example to all who would oppose their reign, used as last ditch effort to win WWIII
A Holorecording labeled the "Great Power Riots of 2015" showing N. Korea in chaos after an EMP blast destroys the powerlines from China to N. Korea
The formula to create Alchemists fire, all the materials needed to complete one, with the exception of a vacuum chamber. The instructions leave out the neccessity of a vacuum chamber, and several horribly charred bodies can be seen lying around it
A Holorecorder of the end of the Universe, carbon dating reveals that it is as old as the universe, careful scrutiny of the recording reveals that You are present at the end, and so is everyone you have ever known, even the dead ones (Try and wrap your brain around that)
A vial of water labled "The Tao"
An old PDP-11 minicomputer (the size of a file cabinet) active and running, along with a desk, keyboard and monitor, despite a very sever case of fungal growth covering the minicomputer and all connecting wires. Users who attempt to use the machine are quickly located and evicted from the system by a super-user account, no information given and no questions asked. Any individuals who would be familiar with such a system are amazed to find that it's running nearly comparable to a modern PC, before being kicked out.
A room full of wire mesh wastepaper baskets, commonly found if offices. The baskets appear normal except for thier color, a vibrant blue. Obects thrown into the baskets fail to land inside, always landing just next to the basket (if dropped from directly aove, the object invariably falls in, but throwing from more than 2.5ft fails to hit).
- An Ewok village
- A herd of quaggas (The Quagga Project)
- Twi-lek pin-up calendars
- Wedding Pictures of Suri (Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes' baby) to Shiloh (Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt's baby) (Yes, I realize they're both female)
- Pictures and news stories from the future wherein super power couple Suri and Shiloh run the world, completely peacefully
- The original Indo-**** language, in oral and written form
- The Baha'u'llah (Baha'i - The Religion of the Baha'u'llah)
- Evidence that the Baha'u'llah is a reincarnation of Jesus, Mohammed and every other religious prophet
- The physical and cosmic form of every Hindu deity
- The pure land of pure land Buddhism, complete with Amitabha (Pure land Buddhism) (Amitabha)
- The truth-body (dharmakaya), enjoyment-body (sambhogakaya), and emanation-body (nirvanakaya) form of every buddha
- Shunyata (emptiness) (The concept as explained by Wikipedia)
- The home of the Mooninites (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
- All the rats of NIMH, and their underground civilization (The Rats of NIMH - Wonderful book!)
- Tours to Santa's workshop
- Video of what the Easter bunny does the other 364 days of the year (oh wait, that already exists on YouTube – he kicks butt!)
- The original sketches for the outfits from the Devo's "Whip It" video
- All the memories you never keep as a child.
- The recipe for a freckle juice that works (Judy Blume)
- Stewie Griffin, as he exists in the real world
- Dogbert, as he exists in the real world
- Calvin and Hobbes, complete with Hobbes' ability to switch from toy to live tiger, a never aging Calvin, and a collection of disturbing snowmen
- The room from Charlotte Perkins Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper" complete with the yellow wallpaper
- A working robot replica of Ctrl+Alt+Del's Ezekiel
- Elphaba's Grimoire (Gregory Maguire's Wicked)
- A real working Pintsize (Questionable Content)
- A phone that, when dialed to 867-5309, is answered by a girl named Jenny who is remarkably not like anything of the rumors you've heard about her (Tommy Tutone)
- An intelligence test that finds out your intelligence with perfect validity and reliability, and is applicable to any type of intelligence (verbal, spatial, critical thinking, random facts, sports, street smarts, common sense, etc.)
- An Entwife (Lord of the Rings)
- The chance to relive any one moment in your life
- The alternate endings to the Harry Potter books
- The complete gem sweater museum collection including every gem sweater ever made (began by Leslie Hall) (Video Tour of the current museum) (Curent gem sweater collection)
- All future records from Leslie & the Lys (Leslie Hall) (Current music)
- Photographs of Jesus and sibling as children
- The fictional bard Widsith alive, along with every king and kingdom of people he sings about in the Old English poem by the same name (Widsith)
- A photograph of the Helen of Troy (The Iliad)
A ball of thread with a tag tied to the end reading "Cretan. Infinite Length. See Files #20528541 -- Theseus , #30291 -- Minos, and #24868375 -- Minotaur."
A series of zoological texts on the life histories of creatures named Serpens drakeus and Equus cornii noting their role in early literature.
A PC turned on and displaying a web browser. The page it's on is a search engine. If anything is searched for, it gives as much information as desired on the topic and no more, without any bad links.
A file cabinet opened to the "Report of the United Nations Security Council Ambassador to [unreadable text in an alien language] (Epsilon Tau 440 - Prime)"
- 4th edition D&D, classes are balanced
- A giant spaceship with "Galactica" written on the side
- Thousands of unpublished Gary Larson cartoons
- The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil
- A chopped down cherry tree and a silver dollar
- A properly re-folded road map
- The kid who says "I see dead people"
- An entire printout of the internets
- The exact location of Ghengis Khan's burial site.
- The riddle of steel.
- Accurate interpretations of the Mayan calendar.
- The real playstation 3 launch date
- Willie Wonka's chocolate factory and the 4 kids lost there.
- Noah's Ark
- The contents Marsellus Wallace's suitcase (pulp fiction)
- Kryptonite and a skeleton in ragged blue pajamas and a red cape
- Accurate interpretations of the Mayan calendar.
Even more important are the plans that the "Greys" bring with them when the magnetic polarity of the planet flips after Dec 2012. Indeed magical times when ordinary citizens ride surfboards in the air!
- The kid who says "I see dead people"
Haley Joel Osmond was found a year or so ago in the media for marijuana charges. Growing up is a bummer.
Various letters are found in the warehouse's "dead mail box" from a construction company claiming to be dwarven organization. Even more peculiar is the amount of concrete ordered that is estimated to be over 5million dollars.
Proposals from a South American automobile company that is offering to be the "Ford Motor company" of the 21st century. They have attempted to negotiate a deal to provide 10% of the WORLD'S vehicles an environmentally friendly engine that runs on sugarcane ethanol. Plans are projected to replace an additional 5% of vehicle engines every two years.
A medical research firm has combined with various zoological societies and claims to have developed genetically engineered mythical creatures.
Mailing addresses for archangels Bartleby and Loki.
The justification for the rising costs of postage stamps.
Mysterious elected official that repeals ALL of the BS laws on the books and starts from scratch. One of the first things that happens is he gives the GAO the biggest set of teeth just short of the US Military and requires ALL laws to be written at an eighth grade level. All laws that have the potential of being interpreted other than the original intent are required to be written more clearly. Congressman are mandated to have salary caps and cannot not make more than any elected official in their home state with the stipulation of being replaced at ANY time for not being the PUBLIC SERVANT of the home state. Much like teachers, elected officials are there because they WANT to be there. Not because the money is good. Our newly elected official bars public government service to anyone thats directly affiliated with or has holdings with a national utilities like electricty or the oil industry.
Drinking fountain company that offers fountains to be marketed for all venues with any imaginable flavor.
Michael Jackson's original face
A tribble
Also
a DS that allows you to take control of any computer.
A necrometer: a device invented by Edison to indicate the presence of spirits.
A necrophone: a device for recording inaudible sounds created by spirits onto wax cylinders.
The brain of Albert Einstien floating in a jar. The brain is hooked up to a robot arm which continously writed equations on a blackboard.
The mummified remains of Vladamir Lenin, stolen from the Red Square, held by the warehouse pending a ransom from the Russians.
A mortuary of glass coffins containing the remainds of :
- John Lennon
- Elvis Presley
- Jim Morrison
- Michael Jackson (he's black, has a proper nose and his hair is burnt)
- Kirk Cobain
- Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper
- Five Keith Richards', arranged in increasing age
The "OK" alarm; it blares constantly, unless something's wrong.
A hard oak cane with old stains that might be blood. On one side is carved the following:"Talk softly."
proof that the devil does wear prada
A cyrogenically frozen drow
A drow in spandex
My boyfriend.. in a crate full of my stuff. (No wonder why I couldn't find that pair of boxers...)
P.S.; oh, and the pictures of the Ressurection that was taken on 2004, right next to the metal crucifix with him bolted right on it. (Dont get in religous stuff with me bout this..)
Script for the unaired episode of "Happy Days" that explains why Chuck disappeared and was thereafter never acknowledged by the Cunninghams.
- A case of alphabet soup. The bowl on the label of each can describes the coming apocalypse, in detail that matches recent news events.
- A table on which rests; a set of keys, a metal hip flask, a glass eye, a pair of glasses, a pair of scissors and diverse other objects.
- That watch you lost last summer.
- A collection of every Casper comic ever produced, right up to 2015?
- A small stable able to hold up to a dozen horses. No animals are present, but saddles and tack are in plain sight. Each is inscribed with the names of the owners; War, Famine, Pestilence, Death and Ronald Soak.
- A conference room outfitted with maps, graphs, and a power point presentation that seems to have been abandoned in a hurry. All of the information present seems to have been written in 1337. One notebook (difficult to find in the mess) is written and edited in several colors of pen, and seems to be entirely focused upon making 1337 harder to understand.
- A glass decanter, filled with a translucent bluish liquid, that turns bright yellow when shaken. If left to settle the liquid fades through green toward the original blue color (over the course of amount 10 minute). If opened the color disappears instantly, and the liquid is found to be (distilled) water.
- A cordless extension cord. Batteries not included.
- The next thirty-seven expansions for WoW, the last being dated for 2029.
- A can of sardines.
- A tootsie pop, the center is visible on one side.
- A large pile of ashes. If you sift though them you'll find 30 cents in nickles and a belt buckle. The belt buckle is in the shape of a lightning bolt.
- Your wit's end.
-An ancient book. On the cover, "The history of Earth". The pages are blank except for the first one, the title page:
"The entirety of the earth's existence: 50,000B.C. to 2012."
-A metal tube, about 3 feet in diameter with several small windows. Frost forms on the outside, and the windows are misted over. Every so often, the groaning of fatigued metal can be heard emanating from it.
-A rack, filed with Bottled Souls
I have no idea where those just came from. I think I just made them up :D .
- A box of farmer's fannies.
- A small metal box with a broken glass cover plate. Inside are 3 glass tubes in the shape of a Y. This item was discovered by a railroad track crew near the bridge crossing Eastwood Ravine, in Hill Valley, California, in 1985.
We have a heart beat.Located in a Black box under a unused desk is a paperweight. This paperweight might not be something special if it were not recovered from an office building destored by an F5 torrnado. this alone would not warrent it being here but the desk the paperweight was on was intacked and the papers under it were untouched.:OMG!
- Working X-Wing with easy to read instructions on how to fly
- DvD's of Star Wars ep 1-3, versions that dont suck.
- Jedi Holocron that depicts that Jedi were real but were wiped out during WW2 and gives the viewer "The Force"
- A room where bigfoot is playing chess with all your childhood made-up friends.
- A working Proton Pack w/ ghost trap.
- An odd-looking rounded table with a checker-board pattern on top and several controls along the rim. If a certain button is pressed, the table hums to life and several tiny holographic monsters appear on the surface, lined up for battle.
- In a specially-designed freezer room, a block of solid ice containing an obvious hominid (probably Neanderthal). Closer inspection reveals that the frozen corpse is wearing Nike running shoes.
- A neatly-typed letter on yellowed typing paper, framed in glass to prevent damage. It is addressed to Franklin D. Roosevelt and is dated November 20, 1941. The text reads, "Sir, The intent of this missive is to warn you of imminent military action against the United States by the Empire of Japan. The attack will take place on December 7, 1941, at the port of Pearl Harbor, in the state of Hawaii." The letter goes on to provide details of exactly how many aircraft will be involved in the attack and the coordinates from which the attack will be launched. It is unsigned.
he says one sentence: The door said keep out.
then he shoots
The great-knife, trianglular head and tracksuit of the Pyramid Chav.
Queen Boudica's place of burial.
The reason why Graham Norton is on TV so much.
My sanity.
The alternate version of Silent Hill 4 where the protagonist actually owns something useful.
A hat with a cat in it.
A sandwitch made from the remains of the previous night's kebab.
A razor sharp bannanna.
My sanity.
.
long gone......ain't nobody found that yet;)
-Kryptonite
-A dead news reporter from "The daily...." hmmm rest of the words seem unreadable
Fodor's Travel Guide for the Sol System, 2020 Edition. It's full of interesting tidbits, particularly the bit about the third planet being little more than a smoldering ball of rock following an unexplained "incident" in 2011.
:D
-Frozen Elvis
-The Frogurt machine from the simpsons treehouse of horror
A prosthetic extension designed to fit over a human index finger, the application of which would have the effect of extending the length of said digit by about eight inches.
A device looking quite like a television set with an external microphone attached. When the unit is activated and asked a question regarding the outcome of probable events if a certain decision had been made or chain of events had not occurred as they did, the device will present a short "alternate history" view of what might have happened if things had transpired as asked in the question.
A device looking much like a digital alarm clock with a receptacle on top designed to fit a human finger. If a finger is inserted into the device, the face will display the exact date and time of the individual's demise. No other details are provided. Due to the design of the object, the display cannot be read by the individual using the device.
-An apple from the tree of knowledge
-A piece of ordinary cheddar cheese, for some reason...
-A picture of Richard Nixon in a tutu
-An actual episode of friends that doesn't suck
-King Artur's underwear
A Five-seveN that does 2d8 damage.
A non-mastercraft Glock pistol.:P
- Version of Vista that isnt a resourse hog and runs good
-A little man in a corner that for some reason repeats "the princess is in another castle"
- $4.95 Canadian inside a glass case, (a toonie, a loonie, 4 quarters, 5 dimes, 5 nickles and 20 pennies). The case is protected by dozens of sensors and reinforcements, as well a several traps, however if you manage to get inside the case, the money seems quite normal...
- A glass. It is simultaneously half full and half empty.
- 400 crates of common disposable orange earplugs. If you open a package and attempt to use a couple (to block your hearing) you instead hear the nearest radio station. This effect persists regardless of the distance to that building. The effect has no limiting duration, though eventually they become crusted with earwax and uncomfortable to use.
- 731 mystery novels, every one of which, the last chapter is blank and the mystery goes unsolved. The books are all quite riveting and each leaves the reader more disappointed than the last. Every book has a different author (or pseudonym, for all the reader knows). Anyone who reads all of the books in hopes of finding some pattern to reason out the answers will still be uncertain of the exact events for every single book. They will then be struck by an uncontrollable urge to write their own mystery novel...
- An empty room. Anything that enters the room immediately disappears. People (whether entering voluntarily or forced to do so) find themselves in Cleveland, Ohio in the year 2391.
- The last Pokémon. (not last surviving, the last one in the final, ultimate pokedex).
- A book on the "sha-ping" katana and why these dangerous weapons have all been located and destroyed, due to the danger that such a weapon would cut the air and leave areas anoxic and unusable. Several cases remark upon a series of highland valleys in japan where there is no breathable air for this reason. This particular copy has been autographed by seven swordmakers who all apparently agree with it's topic.
A version of DirectX 10 for Windows XP.
The full, completed, retail versions of the games "Warcraft Adventures: Lord of the Clans", "Duke Nukem Forever", "Descent 4", and "Dungeon Keeper 3: War for the Overworld"
-One handgun
-Map with hidden enterances to bill gates bedroom
-A journal offering proof of Lady Guenivire's duplicity and alliance to the Catholic Church's inquisition.
- A stone with a bastardsword sticking from it, written on the blade is "Who so ever pulleth this sword from this stone, is King by Right of Birth"
-The REAL Excalibur
- A torn american flag with 67 stars, and vertical red and white stripes
- A small white book, containing instructions on the pathway through the Mists of Avalon.
- A storm machine with a plaque inscribed "Nikoli Tesla"
- A machine that seemingly running on rubberbands, a "drinking bird" and a small star inside a lightbulb.
ok that's all I got at the moment, sure to think up more...
Elvnsword
With a tag on it which says: " Keep away from woman and children at all times".
A formula which proves woman are evil.
A get out of Jail for free card
A room containing thousands of socks/stockings, none of which match. (Now you know where all those socks you lose in the dryer are going. And you thought it was to Narnia...)
A rack containing reels of film, supposedly lost for ages. (Original prints of many films are lost to the ages for a variety of reasons, from intentional destruction (silent films were considered to have no value after talkies debuted and prior to home video and television, many films were disposed of after their theatrical run ended as a space-saving measure) to fire to the natural process of deterioration.)
-A piece of string in a glass jar
-A janitor cleaning the floors and going about his business...
(Wishful thinking...)
-A sword that gleams faintly when you hold it up. It is sheathed in a black case, and the grip is black and yellow. It seems powerfully holy.
-A black DVD case. On it is embossed "LAST EPISODE OF SAMURAI JACK."
-A working beta for Duke Nukem Forever.
-A stoppered glass vial, labeled "Essence of Awesome." A note is left-"I, the lowly nerd Charles N., have appropriated this for my and my friend Sammy Leah J's use. I bet Vincent Dyezel wants some too..." A few drops are left in the bottom.
-Proof that one can indeed transverse universes in the form of a Stargate marked with symbols from various cartoons, animes, and MMOs. Next to it is a case of Pokeballs, a massive axe, and a note, "All wishing to use this must first recieve clearance from the REAL president, not that stupid figurehead Bush." It is signed, "Abraham Lincoln the XVIII."
-Proof that Pokemon do exist, but the stupid ones are Team Rocket's fault, and that Teams Galactic, Magma, and Aqua are shell corporations. Signed "S. Miyamoto."
-The perfect tabletop RPG. Its rules are perfectly comprehensible, the materials required are cheap, and it requires no purchase of anything you can't find around the house. A note lies on the table-"Can't let this get out! Hasbro Board of Directors"
-The real Pun-Pun, trapped in 11th-dimensional stasis. Several illithids are focusing on the crystal keeping him in check, and will dole out pieces of his power for the right brains.
-A computer. When you get on it, a window pops up with the words "Welcome to Humancadia! Please enter the password of character-" The character name is your own. If you enter the correct password, you see yourself sitting at a computer in an isometric, pixel-graphic version of the room you're in. Attempt to move, and you yourself will move. Sign off from the game, and you will be freed from all control.
-A videotape labelled "Results of interdimensional exploration.". When played, it shows a world oddly like that of a Mr. Theodore Geisel.
-A catgirl, frozen in stasis. If unfrozen, she immediately offers herself to whoever opens the capsule. Given enough time, all her children will be catgirls. The capsule has a note-"Area 51 experiment MXLCVII. Catgirl gene is dominant to all human and nonhuman genes, resulting in more catgirls only. Care is advised!"
-Proof that the ESRB is a group of eunuchs raised in an underground bunker whose accoutrements are identical to American 50's suburbs. The word "swell" is frequently noted throughout.
-Videotapes and vials of what appear to be clear water. When the tapes are played, one can see a black-haired Japanese teen fighting another teen wielding a gigantic umbrella. The first teen is splashed and switches genders and haircolors several times during the fight. The vials are labelled "Cat", "Panda", "Duck", "Girl", and "Yeti Riding Bull Carrying Crane and Eel."
-An actual episode of friends that doesn't suck
I've submitted alot of weird and impossible items here, but that is the most implausible thing I've ever seen. Let's just stick to semi-possible things like the mangled body of Elvis and the self-built spaceship he used to make a fantastic flight to a staggering height of thirty feet above Memphis. Apparently, there was not a "pretty little thing waiting for the King", unless you consider a horrible crash a "pretty little thing".
I've submitted alot of weird and impossible items here, but that is the most implausible thing I've ever seen.
:snicker:
- Millions of children's teeth, supposedly collected by the 'tooth fairy'
- Einstein's unified theory
E.Gary Gygax's Dice Pouch (RIP Elimister )
Ehrm, you do know that Elminster is a creation of Ed Greenwood, not E.G.G., right? Gygax created a great many characters, including Mordenkainen, Bigby, Robilar, and Gord of Greyhawk, but not Elminster.
he's just a little guy. prolly not even gotten his spock ears yet :P
not like the rest of us who tip that damned scale who know all these things, not to mention the uber dorks that acctually know Elminster's first name
not like the rest of us who tip that damned scale who know all these things, not to mention the uber dorks that acctually know Elminster's first name
Its "Mary Sue" right?
Two doors, one marked "Hell," the other marked "Heaven."
The one marked "Heaven" is locked.
A few grunts playing dice. If you approach they run away panicked.
The cure to hair loss.
A tunnel that goes to the moon, specifically Dracula's castle.
(see Doctor McNinja for details)
A library full of books, the sheets are made of a metal and don't appear to be written on. A woman with no torso is reading the books.
The irrefutable mathematical proof to weather or not god exists. However the mathematical notation is so advanced that you cannot understand weather it is 'yes' or 'no'.
An orangutan on a Lazy Boy in a glass box drinking tea.
A half finished space ship, using anti-gravity technology and fusion reactors, with a NASA logo. There is a sign saying "project canceled due to budget cuts"
The cake that isnt a lie
a harmless Headcrab
A dark-saber, that is a negative light-saber.
A warp engine and some containers of negative energy.
A room full of 55gal drums of Whoop-4ss.
A vial, in a glass case, on a pedestal, labeled "cure for stupidity."
A cell block containing all the honest and good politicians.
A soviet, trying to steal food from a vending machine, he has a half a map in one hand.
The ghost of a janitor, still cleaning the floor and going about his business.
The perfect woman, she's not interested in you.
Maxwells demon, its playing doom.
- A large six legged horse. (Odins horse from norse mythology)
- A chinese laquered wood chest containing a golden headband, a 3ft metal staff that weighs several tons, and some monkeys hairs. (Monkey)
- Count Dookus hands (duh)
- The Handbook for the recently deceased. (beetlejuice)
- A working martian tripod. (War of the worlds)
- A few hundred cryo chambers containing identical clones, a name plate reads Sidious. (star wars)
- The voynich manuscript and its translation (it appears to be the diary of 14 year old Bros fan).
- A model town of Winter river, Conneticut, complete with a cemetary and gravestone marked 'Betelgeuse'. (beetlejuice)
- Winston Smiths diary. (1984)
- A martian fully preserved in a tank of formaldahyde (the giant head with a beak and tentacles martian from the book, not the movies)
- A blue wooden police box with a flashing light on the top. (Dr Who)
- a large leatherbound book entitled 'How I did it' by Victor Frankenstein (Young Frankenstein)
- Kagrenacs tools (Morrowind)
- Larry Davids hair.
- an apple core (christian mythology)
- The glaive (Krull)
- a glass cube containing the Higgs Boson.
- a Packet of chewing gum that cleans and straightens your teeth (The Simpsons)
- A sonic screwdriver (Dr Who)
- an empty condom machine taken from the Vatican.
- a small glass vial containing water labeled the essence of pure flavour (Futurama)
- a small vial containing Frankensteins formula to destroy matter (Mad monster party).
Apart from that, really good stuff there, Giradius.
This thread is made of awesome.
Sleipnir/Sleipner, Odin's horse, has 8 legs, not 6.
That was a mistake on my part, :D
heres another couple of items...
- A stuffed Rabbits head mounted with a plaque beneath it that says "That swewy wabbit", and beside it a stuffed duck with another plaque that says "That skwewball duck".
- A depressed looking emu sat stroking a pink top hat.
- A keep fit through dance video made by and starring George Burns.
- An old lady who swallowed a fly (I dont why she swallowed the fly)
- A treasure map leading to something called "Big Whoop"
- An Iron box that contains a curled up corpse of someone with 66 stab wounds in his back, the knife thill embedded, the Box is locked from the inside.
- The missing stone from Stonehenge (the one that switches it on)
- A large book entitled "The philosophy of time travel" by Roberta Sparrow.
- A large humanoid statue made of clay with hebrew lettering on his forhead and tongue, the packing crate lists its point of origin as Prague.
- A glowing Brain in jar.
- A robotic forearm in a glass case and a damaged microchip.
- A 10ft tall fossilised skeleton of a monstrous humanoid, that when water is spilled on it flesh grows on the bones, inside is a scrap of paper torn from a book that reads "when the sky father weeps, the evil one shall walk the earth."
- A small ornate puzzle box with strange symbols on it, there are a few blood stains too.
- John Daker's debut album "Thats Amore".
- 6 copys of the Mona Lisa that have tested and analysed by experts to be genuine but 5 of which have written under the paint in biro, "this is a fake".
- A silver helmet, gauntlets, boots and sword imbedded in a block of ice.
A box with law files,box is labled "Yuppy Nurmburg Defense" (two cookies for this reference)
EDIT:
The cake (if oyu don't know this one then you're living in a cave)
wieghted cube with hearts over its sides
- Kagrenacs tools (Morrowind)
Meh, it wasnt hard to find them. And use them...
- The recipe to greek fire
- A character sheet containing a 1E paladin with stats rolled in order (seriously, to roll one is hell)
- The Pick of Destiny
- A cube with all 6 sides colored in different colors, with 81 smaller squares on each side. Attempting to disturb the cube by moving a side will result in it to randomly shuffle itself and make it impossibe to be completed again
- A note with Vaarsuvius's gender written on it.
A pizza box that reads "Cursed Earth Pizza" (cookie for the reference)
That would be Rob Schneiders character from Judge Dread, "Hullo, cursed earth pizza"! Can I have my cookie now :D and possibly some sort of hat with the words SUPER GEEK! written on them.
new items include...
A hat with the words SUPER GEEK written on them.
A Refridgerator that is chained shut, that when opened contains a fiery landscape with a sumerian pyramid in the foreground and two hellhounds running around.
A rack upon which rests a golden scepter topped with a golden hand with the index finger pointed and a plaque reading "the dreaded Pazzazer" (many cookies for the reference"
A bamboo pushchair that conceals a large number of japanese swords
A small onyx figurine of a panther
A jeweled horn resting on a red velvet cusion
A wooden crate containing many specimen jars containing deformed samples of minor extremeties, ears, fingers, lips, a *****, and teeth, the crate is labeled "The Brundle museum of natural history".
An old manuscript signed by William Shakespeare entitled "Loves labours won"
In a huge refridgerated room, a huge horned creature with leathern batwings lies incased in a block of ice.
That would be Rob Schneiders character from Judge Dread, "Hullo, cursed earth pizza"! Can I have my cookie now :D and possibly some sort of hat with the words SUPER GEEK! written on them.
No hat, but heres a
and i would offer you cake but its a lie....."Chuck Norris tear, 42 men died extracting this"
What looks like a dead mummified body, it is wearing a red coat and hat.
Some times it flickers.
Schroedinger's cat.
-A fleet of black helicopters, all marked UN
-Documents from the Philadelphia Experiment
-The ship from the Philadelphia Experiment
-Metal Gear REX
-The remains of Paul McCartney
-The studio used to hoax the Apollo Moon Landing
-A Yithian time portal
-A Yithian lightning gun
-A pair of flying polyps
-A shoggoth
-The diary of Jack Walters
-The Tablets of Dagon
The tablets of the Book Of Mormon.
i chuckle everytime some one metnions those
- A mistletoe dart with some sort of dark brown stain on the tip.
- A sword broken in half with a bit of saliva still on the edge. When analyzed, it is found to contain DNA from a wolf.
- A vial containing a salty liquid, the label reads "Thokk, the giantess"
- A broken bowl with a some foul smelling substance staining the interior.
- What looks to be a woman's wig made from long, black, beautiful hair. A little tag inside reads simply "Sif."
- An ash wood box containing a large, mummified hand. It looks to have been severed from its owner by immense teeth.
The tablets of the Book Of Mormon.
Which is safely secured upon a Mormon battleship from the year 2527
Which is safely secured upon a Mormon battleship from the year 2527
wha?I will admit I have writers block and that popped in my head when I posted !his
Sorry I know see how stupid that sounds... unless it was on a space battleship from a Mormon separtists faction that when the tablets were found started a war that engulfed several of the Mormonized worlds... I will admit I have writers block and that popped in my head when I posted!
that still doesn't make sense to me and I'm a mormon,lol
1) The body of a man-sized spider.
2) A cryogenically frozen old man.
3) A strange black viscous fluid.
4) A broken delorean.
5) A crate labeled lost plays of William S.
6) A crate labelled plays of Willamina S.
7) A large steam powered mecha.
8) A huge wooden horse.
9) A pair of blood stained slippers.
10) A plain wooden staff.
11) A vat full of what appears to be regular plastic.
12) A large shadowy (as in looks as though its cloaked in shadow even under direct light) wolf.
13a) A vial labelled "Serum GX-1234 DO NOT DRINK"
13b) A vial labelled "Serum GX-1235 DO NOT OPEN"
13c) A vial lablled "Serum GX-1236 DO NO TOUCH"
13d) A vial labelled "Serum GX-1237 DO NOT LOOK"
14) A glass class containing what appears to be a species of vines with a speaker system that can be used to listen to them playing various sounds e.g. voices, mobile phone tones etc.
15) A strangely well preserved/replicated human head and pair of hands with what looks like an alien manipulation system inserted into them.
16) A decayed map labelled El Dorado.
17) The formula for cold fusion.
18) What looks like a state of the art jet aeroplane chiselled out of stone 10,000 years ago.
19) The body of horse with the head of a rabbit.
20) A set of documentation labelled "Loch Mer Monster misdirection plan".
1. Nikola Tesla's Death Ray
2. Nikola Tesla
3. A letter to the PC's from Elvis Presley, dated one day before his death.
4. A Sumerian tablet that holds the meaning of life
5. A wooden door that opens on one side into the Garden of Eden
6. A portal to hell (One-way)
7. Adolf Hitler and 500 Elite soldiers in Stasis/ Suspended animation, set to wake on a timer.
8. The cure for cancer.
9. A large boat labeled "Government Preservation Device"
10. Vats full of raw genetic material
11. A version of the 5-7 that isn't ridiculously overpowered.
12. The warehouse is empty except for a small piece of paper taped to the inside of the main door that reads "You missed the show."
13. A large collection of stuffed animals with their eyes sewn shut
14. A paper showing the location of another secret warehouse.
15. A ring with a note next to it that reads "Don't put this on." If someone puts it on, every piece of writing/literature they will ever look at will just seem to say "Don't say we didn't warn you." Nobody else shares this hallucination, and the ring cannot be taken of unless the finger is cut off.
16. A cheaper way to learn a language than Rosetta Stone
17. Amelia Earhart's plane.
18. Amelia Earhart.
19. A magic talking rabbit who's always in a hurry
20. Pictures of all the PC's, their families, friends, and co-workers on a huge poster board, labeled "Subjects of Test Bravo".
21. A large amount of what appear to be diamonds but are actually cubic Zarconium.
22. The missing Episode Zero of Saturday Night Live.
23. A barrel of monkeys. Real monkeys.
24. Enough gasoline to keep the U.S. supplied graciously for 50 years.
25. A government conspiracy to end the d20 Modern Franchise and It's community. That would explain a lot.
