And the Grell too for that matter. :embarrass
I also don't see anything wrong with the Hippocampus or the Porcupine Cactus. The Cactus isn't even so much a monster as it is an obstacle, so yeah, you're supposed to just hide behind a tree and throw a squirrel at it. :P
#15: Roving Mauler is based off of the German Goetic demon Buer and was included in the Tome of Magic supplement for 3rd edition. While I can't speak for why Wizards included the odd-looking creature, it was probably because they wanted ToM to reflect a more Occult bent system of magic, thus including Buer.
#14: The article mentions that The Gelatinous Cube is only threatening if you walk directly into it. What they don't mention is that the Cube is translucent and extremely hard to see, nigh invisible in the low light of dungeons. This makes walking directly into it very possible.
#13: The Knell Beetle fires a powerful sonic blast at it's enemies. Also, it is a giant beetle. You won't be complaining about how it looks when it flays the skin from your bones using only sound.
#12:I can't speak for the appearance of The Senmurv, as I think it looks pretty dumb as well.
#11:The Demi-Lich is a cosmic, dimension-spanning undead that was once a mortal spellcaster. This spellcaster became so powerful that he manifest himself as a being of universal energy, traversing the planes to amass near infinite knowledge. The article talks only about the demi-lich's phylactery, which is the being's skull, set with the most precious jewels in existance.
#10: The Brain-In-A-Jar can explode your brain with psychic energy from across the room.
#9: Again, the Digester was an ill-thought out creature and I don't now of anyone ever using one.
#8: We accept that the full moon can turn a human into a wolf, but we can't explain why Moon Rats get smarter when in the full moon? Also, the fact that they turn back into normal rats at sunrise is the perfect cover. No one suspects the lowly rat.
#7: Ash-rats are pretty stupid...
#6: While the Grell may look like a floating brain, but it's body is actually encased in a chitin that is harder than bone, and those tentacles have barbs. It floats, it makes almost no sound at all, and because of it's electrosensitive organ that allows it to detect subtle magnetic fields, you will never, ever sneak up on it.
#5: "The Atropal is a stillborn god-fetus risen from the dead..." YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS??
#4: The Hippocampus is based on the Hippocamp, the half-fish horse of Greek Mythology. As most creatures of myth and legend, the Hippocamp is pretty weird.
#3: At a Challenge Rating of 1, The prcupine cactus isn't supposed to be a genuine threat. It is a monster who is used more as an obstacle than a monster.
#2: The article doesn't mention anything negative about the Anguillian other than the fact that it carries a spear. Carrying a spear shows that they are intelligent. The scariest thing on earth is something that is powerful, huge, and intelligent, and the Anguillian has all three.
#1: The Gelun used to be a person who was cursed to freeze in a block of ice at a certain temperature, forcing them to live in the desert. When they aren't frozen, their claws literally rip the heat from your body, freezing you where you stand.
The Senmurv is what Toby Keith becomes every full moon...
Meh, it was a cheap immitation of the original and the sequal which I found to be much more entertaining(in addition to these two being much more complete).
Those are pretty good. I just like the comedic style that cracked.com uses, although that article was just a guest writer.
Owls: although I can't be sure, I'd guess the writer probably knows that. Its meant to be funny (and probably just based off the pictures) not a serious analysis of their abilities!
Owls: although I can't be sure, I'd guess the writer probably knows that. Its meant to be funny (and probably just based off the pictures) not a serious analysis of their abilities!
If this is so then the non-comedic rant is kind of pointless sense the writer seems to do nothing but miss very important features in almost every single one of the monsters. Also, the writer doesn't really write more than this monster is ****ing stuped for every monster. OK, you bashed the monster. What's the point? Where is the punchline?
It seems horribly written and horribly thought out to me.
Those are pretty good. I just like the comedic style that cracked.com uses, although that article was just a guest writer.
Owls: although I can't be sure, I'd guess the writer probably knows that. Its meant to be funny (and probably just based off the pictures) not a serious analysis of their abilities!
Just providing a counterpoint. I've been reading Cracked long enough to know when they are serious.When I read the article when it came out, I loled because the writers have a way of stringing words together to make them funny (not so much in this article, but in others).
Awesome find, ghost. Can't believe I missed this article.
Np, in fact, I think you were the one to turn me onto Cracked anyway, so, internet karma hard at work. My down payment cleared then, yes?
Nerd rage, pop-culture exasperation, suckdom, etc:
Show
Ok. I'll be sure to let Cracked know how disappointed you were.
Please see...
Ranadiel: Meh, it was a cheap immitation of the original and the sequal which I found to be much more entertaining(in addition to these two being much more complete).
Ok. I'll be sure to let Cracked know how disappointed you were.
DF: Also, the writer doesn't really write more than this monster is ****ing stuped for every monster. OK, you bashed the monster. What's the point? Where is the punchline? It seems horribly written and horribly thought out to me.
ADHadh: This article was really lame. All it did was...
Please see...
Owls_and_More_Owls: Just providing a counterpoint. I've been reading Cracked long enough to know when they are serious.When I read the article when it came out, I loled because the writers have a way of stringing words together to make them funny (not so much in this article, but in others).
Or, if you rather, kindly note it is not a gaming website so much as a comedic one.
But shouldn't it be funny or something to be referred to as a comedic site? I guess this is another one of those unfunny sites that people find funny. /shrug
And some people do find it funny. It may not be universally funny, but then what is? Requiring that something appeal to everyone is an unrealistic standard.
What book are Moon Rats from? I was watching The Secret of NIMH last week and thought, "Note to self: find place for Awakened rat artificers in next campaign."
Read the book.
Those should be rat warlords.
Stupid movie.