And then there's the Wizard which is like Smurfette because only girls play this class.
And then Rogues are like Vanity Smurf because they are so great and everyone should look at them immediately. Also Eladrin.
Fighters and Dragonborn are like Hefty Smurf because of strength and weightlifting.
Brainy Smurf is probably one of these too, because sometimes characters have a high intelligence.
Anyway, as you can see, 4th edition is basically Smurfs the RPG so WotC please stop making these books and write some new books for 3.5 about like sea elves or something.
*throws hands up*
Thank you. Geez. I'm glad SOMEONE gets it.
Is this thread humourous in nature, or just a jab at some anti-4E bashing? If it's the former; then it might be a bit funny, in some places. If it's the latter, well I'll let other people handle that end of the shtick.
...
Is this thread humourous in nature, or just a jab at some anti-4E bashing? If it's the former; then it might be a bit funny, in some places. If it's the latter, well I'll let other people handle that end of the shtick.
But what's your opinion???
How can you not see my point?
But what's your opinion???
That 4E D&D has little to do with funny blue men, who wear white pants and Father Christmas-like hats all the time, trying to escape the clutches of an awful human and his cat.
How can you not see my point?
Well, gender-bashing aside, I can make a few observations here and there. Though any point you're trying to get across is lost. Somewhere around the one inch mark. And at the height of a fungus house.
:P
:P :P :P :P :P :P :P ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
Because there's a Warlord which is basically just Papa Smurf and he's all like "Oh everybody do what I say, I'm Papa Smurf."
And then there's the Wizard which is like Smurfette because only girls play this class.
And then Rogues are like Vanity Smurf because they are so great and everyone should look at them immediately. Also Eladrin.
Fighters and Dragonborn are like Hefty Smurf because of strength and weightlifting.
Brainy Smurf is probably one of these too, because sometimes characters have a high intelligence.
Anyway, as you can see, 4th edition is basically Smurfs the RPG so WotC please stop making these books and write some new books for 3.5 about like sea elves or something.
Sea Elves= Snorks?
Sea Elves= Snorks?
Mind=Blown
This is silly. Good Smurfs references, though.
I get it. You don't like the notion of "roles" in a "roleplaying game". (See what I did there?) Because 4E explicitly includes the concept of roles while 3.5E only does so implicitly, you want WotC to abandon 4E in favour of 3.5E, despite that it includes the exact same concepts.
This is silly. Good Smurfs references, though.
You clearly do not get it.
I get it. You don't like the notion of "roles" in a "roleplaying game". (See what I did there?) Because 4E explicitly includes the concept of roles while 3.5E only does so implicitly, you want WotC to abandon 4E in favour of 3.5E, despite that it includes the exact same concepts.
This is silly. Good Smurfs references, though.
No, I think it was just a joke about funny things.
Ergo 4e = secret communist plot to destroy American youth.
Q.E.D.
...
Is this thread humourous in nature, or just a jab at some anti-4E bashing? If it's the former; then it might be a bit funny, in some places. If it's the latter, well I'll let other people handle that end of the shtick.
How do you not see it? Ted spelled it out in black and white. And blue. He proved it.
Fanboys... I swear.
And Smurfs are communists.
Ergo 4e = secret communist plot to destroy American youth.
Q.E.D.
lofgren, don't look now, but we agreed on something!
Show
That this thread is funny. :P
Everyday I see a new thread that says "4th edition=Star Trek Voyager???" or "4th edition is basically a ripoff of Mr. Belvedere" or "Did the designers steal 4th edition from some video game or other thing I can find a million inane ways to compare it to?"
I think that's funny, and it was way easier to make a negative comparison than a positive one. Which is probably why so many people do that.
It's just jokes.
Everyday I see a new thread that says "4th edition=Star Trek Voyager???" or "4th edition is basically a ripoff of Mr. Belvedere" or "Did the designers steal 4th edition from some video game or other thing I can find a million inane ways to compare it to?"
I think that's funny, and it was way easier to make a negative comparison than a positive one. Which is probably why so many people do that.
Oo, do this one next! Go go!
How do you not see it?
Because I learned a long time ago that anytime someone says something that could possibly misconstrued as being offensive or negative, just leads to nasty feelings either way when all parties misinterpreted the statement? So it's better to wait to know one way or another, or ask politely? Sheesh, shoot me in the foot already. With your dang Smurfgun.
Fanboys...
Hardly.
With your dang Smurfgun.
Omfg! Do you even watch the Smurfs? I don't think so. There are no Smurfguns, Dhampyrus.
lofgren, don't look now, but we agreed on something!ShowThat this thread is funny. :P
Omfg! Do you even watch the Smurfs? I don't think so. There are no Smurfguns, Dhampyrus.
What a chump, right????
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
I could have sworn I saw a Smurfgun somewhere... Oh wait, that was Robot Chicken. My bad.
Anyway, as you can see, 4th edition is basically Smurfs the RPG so WotC please stop making these books and write some new books for 3.5 about like sea elves or something.
And Smurfs are communists.
Sea Elves= Snorks?
Hey, hey - my wife is a communist sea elf, got anything to say to that budy.
:headexplo
Uh huh. :P
I could have sworn I saw a Smurfgun somewhere... Oh wait, that was Robot Chicken. My bad.
Oh, I see. Robot Chicken is 3rd party though, and isn't considered canon.
Hey, hey - my wife is a communist sea elf, got anything to say to that budy.
:headexplo
Yeah.
Can I borrow her for the weekend?
Yeah.
Can I borrow her for the weekend?
He's going treasure diving, and can't afford to rent air tanks.
He's going treasure diving, and can't afford to rent air tanks.
Yeah. It has nothing to do with smurfing her smurf until she's smurfless.
Srs. post:
Someone make Gargamel a character sheet. I can't see him as being higher than like level 6 or 7, or he wouldn't always lose. But he's probably a warlock.
Maybe we should wait til PHBII so he can have a familiar.
I get it. You don't like the notion of "roles" in a "roleplaying game". (See what I did there?) Because 4E explicitly includes the concept of roles while 3.5E only does so implicitly, you want WotC to abandon 4E in favour of 3.5E, despite that it includes the exact same concepts.
This is silly. Good Smurfs references, though.
Umm... No. Ok, just no. This was meant to be a funny post, sort of making fun of all those "4e is like X" threads, and 4e bashing in general.
I have to admit, I LOL'd.
It's just jokes.
Everyday I see a new thread that says "4th edition=Star Trek Voyager???" or "4th edition is basically a ripoff of Mr. Belvedere" or "Did the designers steal 4th edition from some video game or other thing I can find a million inane ways to compare it to?"
I think that's funny, and it was way easier to make a negative comparison than a positive one. Which is probably why so many people do that.
I don't think I've ever seen anyone Insult 4e that way. (Calling it Voyager.. notice Trekkie fans I did you all a favor and didn't consider it Star Trek)
I thought that 4e was the work of the devil though? How can you be a communist and be an object of Satan at the same time? Clearly someone didn't do their research, everyone knows communism abolishes and stands against religion.
Smurfs were supposed to be 2 apples tall. Think about that for a minute. They were able to live in fully-furnished mushrooms. I mean, brainy had a lab in his. How big were those friggin mushrooms?
That's exactly the kind of inconsistency I'm trying to point out.
Srs. post:
Someone make Gargamel a character sheet.
^ lol
Serious post FAIL.
That's exactly the kind of inconsistency I'm trying to point out.
Clearly the Smurfs were nore narrativist than simulationist.
More Belgianist than anything else, though.
I think that's funny, and it was way easier to make a negative comparison than a positive one. Which is probably why so many people do that.
Well, you can't compare it to Dungeons and Dragons, though.
Well, you can't compare it to Dungeons and Dragons, though.
Yeah, Smurfs is way better.
I hope brainy gets a boost in Smurf Power 2. His at-wills are really underpowered. Why would they base them on WIS?
I've already smurfruled this. Heavily.
Smurfs were supposed to be 2 apples tall. Think about that for a minute. They were able to live in fully-furnished mushrooms. I mean, brainy had a lab in his. How big were those friggin mushrooms?
They were two crabapples tall, obviously.
They were two crabapples tall, obviously.
But that's not RAW. It may be the implied spirit of the text, but it is not RAW.
I always thought 4e was more like the Gummy Bears anyway. I mean, you've got Second Winds, right? If that ain't a direct rip-off of Gummy Berry Juice, I don't know what is ...
You guys are way too concerned about realism. In a game full of tiny blue men (and on girl), why wouldn't there be mushrooms big enough for them to live in!?!? Kindly keep your realism out of my Smurfdom, kthxby!
I always thought 4e was more like the Gummy Bears anyway. I mean, you've got Second Winds, right? If that ain't a direct rip-off of Gummy Berry Juice, I don't know what is ...
Well, magic and mystery are part of their history.
I always thought 4e was more like the Gummy Bears anyway. I mean, you've got Second Winds, right? If that ain't a direct rip-off of Gummy Berry Juice, I don't know what is ...
Second Wind = Scooby Snack, n00b.
Second Wind = Scooby Snack, n00b.
Look, this is all fluff. The beauty of the system is that you can flavor that part any way you like. Talking dogs? Fine. Magical green bears? No problem! Personally, I prefer it as it appears in the book: little blue mushroom men.
Smurfs were supposed to be 2 apples tall. Think about that for a minute. They were able to live in fully-furnished mushrooms. I mean, brainy had a lab in his. How big were those friggin mushrooms?
Those weren't mushrooms. The were the hollowed out dessicated corpses of myconids (aka mushroom-men)
We now have proof of where WotC intends to take this franchise:
incompetent, always failing & not quite sure what it wants. :P ;)
They were created by Necromancer-smurf.
So...did you originally type Necro-Smurf, then realize it was both creepy and a bit disturbing before changing it to Necromancer-smurf?
And I don't like the myconid idea...it blows my suspension of disbelief. Myconids were Underdark dwellers. No way little blue men went into the underdark and drug out myconid corpses. Unless, of course, they had Fraggles to help them. That I can believe.
Well, magic and mystery are part of their history.
Exactly! I'm so glad someone gets it! I felt like I was facing a Care Bear Stare for a minute there. ;)
Second Wind = Scooby Snack, n00b.
Umm, you're confused. It's well known that FATAL was largely influenced by the Scoobster and his silly snax - not D&D.
The blue coloration of the Smurfs is one of those big inconsistencies that I can't justify in my game. It serves no purpose: it's not camouflage, it doesn't absorb heat to keep them warm, and their only natural predator is Gargamel and he just wants to turn the Smurfs into gold, which blue skin will hardly deter or prevent. In my game, Smurfs are green for photosynthetic reasons.
HERESY!!!
Smurfs have always been blue and always will be blue!!!
You're ruining DnD, dammit!
HERESY!!!
Smurfs have always been blue and always will be blue!!!
You're ruining DnD, dammit!
OOOHHH
Sorry to slaughter your sacred cow but maybe you need to grow up and admit that it does not make sense!
OOOHHH
Sorry to slaughter your sacred cow but maybe you need to grow up and admit that it does not make sense!
...
...
...
you!!!Sacred burgers don't taste that great anyway! So there!
Well, you know what they say. If you smurf a smurf, then smurf smurf and smurf!
That's revolting. I thought this was a PG forum. Now I'm all offended.
Go smurf yourself.
NO U!
So...did you originally type Necro-Smurf, then realize it was both creepy and a bit disturbing before changing it to Necromancer-smurf?
Of course not. Necromancer Smurf is rarely seen but well-established and beloved member of the Smurf community. Who could forget his first appearance in the episode, "Braaaaaiins!"? Or his momentary passion for Smurfette in "Bride of Frankensmurf"? Or when he summoned a hell hound to chase Azrael away?
And I don't like the myconid idea...it blows my suspension of disbelief. Myconids were Underdark dwellers. No way little blue men went into the underdark and drug out myconid corpses. Unless, of course, they had Fraggles to help them. That I can believe.
Well, of course. It all happened in the two-part episode "Smurf me in the Fraggle! (The Mushroom Wars)"
It's just jokes.
Everyday I see a new thread that says "4th edition=Star Trek Voyager???" or "4th edition is basically a ripoff of Mr. Belvedere" or "Did the designers steal 4th edition from some video game or other thing I can find a million inane ways to compare it to?"
I think that's funny, and it was way easier to make a negative comparison than a positive one. Which is probably why so many people do that.
Guys, I told you...
http://forums.gleemax.com/showthread.php?t=1158246
Of course not. Necromancer Smurf is rarely seen but well-established and beloved member of the Smurf community. Who could forget his first appearance in the episode, "Braaaaaiins!"? Or his momentary passion for Smurfette in "Bride of Frankensmurf"? Or when he summoned a hell hound to chase Azrael away?
Indeed.
Of course not. Necromancer Smurf is rarely seen but well-established and beloved member of the Smurf community. Who could forget his first appearance in the episode, "Braaaaaiins!"? Or his momentary passion for Smurfette in "Bride of Frankensmurf"? Or when he summoned a hell hound to chase Azrael away?
Well, of course. It all happened in the two-part episode "Smurf me in the Fraggle! (The Mushroom Wars)"
Somebody please give this 5 stars.
Well, you know what they say. If you smurf a smurf, then smurf smurf and smurf!
That's too true. Just remember they also say: "Gnap! Gnap gnap gnap! Gnap! Gnap, gnap gnap!" and then bite you on the ass (tail). ;)
That's too true. Just remember they also say: "Gnap! Gnap gnap gnap! Gnap! Gnap, gnap gnap!" and then bite you on the ass (tail). ;)
Dude.
I have no idea what you are talking about.
black smurfs. they only make "gnap" noises and upon biting another smurf on the tail, turns the bitten into another black smurf
I... had not heard of this...
black smurfs. they only make "gnap" noises and upon biting another smurf on the tail, turns the bitten into another black smurf
Omigod! Just like 4e!
black smurfs. they only make "gnap" noises and upon biting another smurf on the tail, turns the bitten into another black smurf
Dawn of the Dead stole from smurfs.
black smurfs. they only make "gnap" noises and upon biting another smurf on the tail, turns the bitten into another black smurf
In 4E, they changed them to dual-wielding emo smurfs who were made by Gargamel and live in Menzosmurf-smurf.
Whenever Gargamel or another human manages to get to the Smurf village you realize the house aren't small like actual mushrooms but are about a foot tall or so in comparaison.
and Gargamel is not a warlock. At best he's an Artificer with both Alchemy and Ritual Casting. since he can use Brew Potion he goes up to level 5 but that's only if he's a PC. He's obviously more in line with an NPC.
I wonder what kind of stats Johan and Pewitt would get... fighter and bard I'm guessing.
The smurf village is an awesome place to start an adventure. Large woods, the dam that can break at any time, evil wizards all over the place, the mine, the swamp, etc etc.
No inn though.
We totally need a 'Quest for the Four Elements' module for 4e! I also want a 4e 'Smurf in Time' adventure path! It would work way better now I bet.
I can't tell.
The rants about 4e have been so ridiculously idiotic that I could see this being a genuine pile of h4te.
On the other hand, it is mildly funny if taken as a parody.
4th Edition is like pornography because you can either purchase it at a bookstore or over the net.
4th Edition is like Christianity because 90% of everything that anyone says on the subject comes from a book.
4th Edition is just like life, because you'll always have people ****ing and moaning about how sucky it is.
4th Edition is just like 3rd Edition, because you'll always have people ****ing and moaning about how sucky it is.
4th Edition is just like the maternity ward of a hospital, because no amount of improvement will ever stop the incessant crying.
4th Edition is just like everything, because people complain about everything.
Lastly, the 4th Edition player's handbook is just like my crotch... if you come to my house and ***** about D&D for several hours, I will slap you in the face with it and tell you to leave.
Apparently, 4th Edition is comparable to everything in the universe.
4th Edition is just like boats, because it is inedible.
4th Edition is like pornography because you can either purchase it at a bookstore or over the net.
4th Edition is like Christianity because 90% of everything that anyone says on the subject comes from a book.
4th Edition is just like life, because you'll always have people ****ing and moaning about how sucky it is.
4th Edition is just like 3rd Edition, because you'll always have people ****ing and moaning about how sucky it is.
4th Edition is just like the maternity ward of a hospital, because no amount of improvement will ever stop the incessant crying.
4th Edition is just like everything, because people complain about everything.
Lastly, the 4th Edition player's handbook is just like my crotch... if you come to my house and ***** about D&D for several hours, I will slap you in the face with it and tell you to leave.
Apparently, 4th Edition is comparable to everything in the universe.
Are you sure? Maybe we should challenge that.
4e is just like World of Darkness because....
But 3.5 has turned into a Black Smurf for me.
Are you sure? Maybe we should challenge that.
4e is just like World of Darkness because....
there will always be a bunch of elitists decrying the latest version as the worst. :P
Are you sure? Maybe we should challenge that.
4e is just like World of Darkness because....
... it's sold in book or PDF format.
... it's an RPG.
... it uses dice.
... it has vampires/werewolves/humans/magic users/ghosts.
Next.
:D
This thread = O.o
But 3.5 has turned into a Black Smurf for me.
Gnap?
BTW, they weren't black surfs, they were purple.
Oh no they WERE black.
In the original comic book.
They were colored purple for the animated series only.
Also the Black Smurf story in the comic book was one of the earliest one, way before the Smurfette was first created. The 'disease' that turned them angry and black was transmitted by a black fly biting a smurf on the tail. After the catastrophic explosion caused by a now black Papa Smurf spread the antidote to all the Black Smurf the 'Smurf Zero' of the infection became Grouchy Smurf, retaining a bit of that 'Black Smurf' influence in him.
In the animated serie the purple smurf story was set after the arrival of the Smurfette (since the Smurfette was the first episode).
How do you not see it? Ted spelled it out in black and white. And blue. He proved it.
Fanboys... I swear.
This is amusing, that you obviously saw this thread and went Wee, someone else is bashing 4th Ed/making ridiculous analogies, so I'll join in!, only to find the joke is on people like you.
…Though I see you've back-peddled and tried to join in on the joke to save face.
Oh, and people, Smurfs are 3 apples high, if I recall.
That's how I Smurf it!
Black Smurfs would be awesome. They'd be called Durfs and they live underground and have white hair and red eyes and then one emo Durf comes along and ruins them all forever more!
How do you pronounce Durf?
No idea. Probably like it looks. Just like how you say smurf but with a D in front of it instead?
But look at the debate over how you pronounce Drow, even after the official pronunciation was stated many, many years ago!
Doorf, Derf…?
Smurfs were supposed to be 2 apples tall. Think about that for a minute.
This reminds me of a fun quiz my professor gave the class when I was attending ITT Tech. It was a tradition for him that before the finals, we would take a fun test to help relieve stress from the finals. My professor made the questions so hard and obscure that you'd be lucky to get 2 answers correct out of 25 or so questions. And one of them was "How tall was a smurf?" :D
there will always be a bunch of elitists decrying the latest version as the worst. :P
THIS
... it's sold in book or PDF format.
... it's an RPG.
... it uses dice.
... it has vampires/werewolves/humans/magic users/ghosts.
Next.
Much more than this.
THIS
Much more than this.
Considering that 90% of all WoW comparisons list such things as "both involve powers" or "both have regenerating life", I'd say my examples were equally relevant.
However, the analogy I made that I'm most proud of is the one of D&D to a maternal ward. It is so very true.
THIS
mine was very tongue in cheek. to use an example: i've never played the oWoD before so i really don't know what the "it" in "they changed it, so now it sucks" is. from i was told by practically everyone i know, the "it" is the core fluff. the mechanics, i'm told, are better designed (and i've played the nWoD and i'll admit they work quite nicely) but the core fluff of the game world has changed in a way that makes the new FR look tame. i wouldn't mind playing in the oWoD, but having no baseline to compare i like the nWoD very much.
same with D&D. they changed the mechanics & fluff in 4th ed. i have to say they are, IMO, better. mechanics work in a much slicker way and the fluff is either gone or just enough there to work with or modify... as someone who plays homebrewed worlds, this works very nicely IMO as the monsters, to use an example, come with less fluffy baggage and i don't have to explain too much to the players. i also have the FR setting from 2nd ed onto 4th ed. i don't play it much, but it has ideas i can liberally steal from as DM. if someone wants to play in one of the old FR, they still can... my books have yet to spontaneously combust. it's not the "official" one, but those same people decrying the new FR probably have the old books that contain the fluff so all they really need to do is a Fluff Transplant into the new system.
some things might not port over 100% but decrying a system as horrible because they changed they fluff you already have is silly IMO. use the better working system with your existing fluff and it should work fine, less that fluff be ingrained into the mechanics.
mine was very tongue in cheek. to use an example: i've never played the oWoD before so i really don't know what the "it" in "they changed it, so now it sucks" is. from i was told by practically everyone i know, the "it" is the core fluff. the mechanics, i'm told, are better designed (and i've played the nWoD and i'll admit they work quite nicely) but the core fluff of the game world has changed in a way that makes the new FR look tame. i wouldn't mind playing in the oWoD, but having no baseline to compare i like the nWoD very much.
same with D&D. they changed the mechanics & fluff in 4th ed. i have to say they are, IMO, better. mechanics work in a much slicker way and the fluff is either gone or just enough there to work with or modify... as someone who plays homebrewed worlds, this works very nicely IMO as the monsters, to use an example, come with less fluffy baggage and i don't have to explain too much to the players. i also have the FR setting from 2nd ed onto 4th ed. i don't play it much, but it has ideas i can liberally steal from as DM. if someone wants to play in one of the old FR, they still can... my books have yet to spontaneously combust. it's not the "official" one, but those same people decrying the new FR probably have the old books that contain the fluff so all they really need to do is a Fluff Transplant into the new system.
some things might not port over 100% but decrying a system as horrible because they changed they fluff you already have is silly IMO. use the better working system with your existing fluff and it should work fine, less that fluff be ingrained into the mechanics.
Dude, you're getting chocolate in my peanut butter.
This is amusing, that you obviously saw this thread and went Wee, someone else is bashing 4th Ed/making ridiculous analogies, so I'll join in!, only to find the joke is on people like you.
…Though I see you've back-peddled and tried to join in on the joke to save face.
Erm, I'm thinking Rake is far, far too intelligent to believe that someone would seriously compare 4E to the smurfs. Also, he's one of those reasonable people who doesn't jump into every thread to bash 4E. Maybe crank up the old sarcasm detector just a wee bit?
4th Edition is just like boats, because it is inedible.
You can't prove this.
4th Edition is like pornography because you can either purchase it at a bookstore or over the net.
Dude. This is so off. Who the hell pays for porn? ;) :P
No idea. Probably like it looks. Just like how you say smurf but with a D in front of it instead?
D-murf? Kind of a Drow thing. Maybe change the spelling to D'murf to really capture the feel. :D
This is amusing, that you obviously saw this thread and went Wee, someone else is bashing 4th Ed/making ridiculous analogies, so I'll join in!, only to find the joke is on people like you.
…Though I see you've back-peddled and tried to join in on the joke to save face.
...
D-murf? Kind of a Drow thing. Maybe change the spelling to D'murf to really capture the feel. :D
D'murffzz. it needs double letters and Z's.
But the important thing to remember is that I am completely serious.
Well, clearly.
Also:
So...did you originally type Necro-Smurf, then realize it was both creepy and a bit disturbing before changing it to Necromancer-smurf?
And I don't like the myconid idea...it blows my suspension of disbelief. Myconids were Underdark dwellers. No way little blue men went into the underdark and drug out myconid corpses. Unless, of course, they had Fraggles to help them. That I can believe.
AHHHHHHHHHHH! <3
omfg Fraggles! I just got totally run over by the nostalgia train. What were those little guys that built stuff out of sugar sticks called? Dozers? I loved those little dudes.
D'murffzz. it needs double letters and Z's.
Ah! I was a fool to forget such a simple rule. And the D'murffzz can also really be good guys rebelling from their evil (and fly-bitten) past! Winner.
Ah! I was a fool to forget such a simple rule. And the D'murffzz can also really be good guys rebelling from their evil (and fly-bitten) past! Winner.
of course. everyone knows that the D'murffzz are a LE race of primarily CG individuals.
Because there's a Warlord which is basically just Papa Smurf and he's all like "Oh everybody do what I say, I'm Papa Smurf."
And then there's the Wizard which is like Smurfette because only girls play this class.
And then Rogues are like Vanity Smurf because they are so great and everyone should look at them immediately. Also Eladrin.
Fighters and Dragonborn are like Hefty Smurf because of strength and weightlifting.
Brainy Smurf is probably one of these too, because sometimes characters have a high intelligence.
Anyway, as you can see, 4th edition is basically Smurfs the RPG so WotC please stop making these books and write some new books for 3.5 about like sea elves or something.
And I have startling information about 4E! IT WAS CREATED BY CHUCK NORRIS, AND WOTC RIPPED IT OFF! ALL 4E IS IS CHUCK NORRIS RPG! :P
Sorry, just had to do that.
I vote that WotC replaces the censorship asterisks with "smurf".
**** yeah!
Oh, wait. I meant: Smurf yeah, muthasmurfers! :D
My D'Murff is trying to overcome his dark past. He has secrets though, so he's pretty much a loner even though he has a heart of gold.
which is ironic since Smurfs & D'Murffs are alchemically aligned to turn into gold.
which is ironic since Smurfs & D'Murffs are alchemically aligned to turn into gold.
yeah that's p. much what i was going for.
But the important thing to remember is that I am completely serious.
I am so very, very sorry to hear that.
PtM
I am so very, very sorry to hear that.
PtM
We need a smurfin' Smurf smiley, smurfdammit!
It shall be known as "smurfing," or "getting the smurf," and all who are smurfed will know their shame.
"Oh man, did you see that guy on the D&D forum today? Was he a troll or what!"
"Yes, but I gave him the smurf, and he felt so small and had to shut up."
This is awesome. Just ... awesome. You made my smurfin' day, man.
I hereby proclaim that the above smile is henceforth the only appropriate response to trolls of any nature on this forum.
It shall be known as "smurfing," or "getting the smurf," and all who are smurfed will know their shame.
"Oh man, did you see that guy on the D&D forum today? Was he a troll or what!"
"Yes, but I gave him the smurf, and he felt so small and had to shut up."
Seconded. Oh, I'm not givin' wrecan the smurf above. I smurfed that time cuz I felt smurf. From now on I'll keep my smurfin' to anti-troll duty.
I'm oooookay!
Just remember they also say: "Gnap! Gnap gnap gnap! Gnap! Gnap, gnap gnap!" and then bite you on the ass (tail). ;)
If you listen carefully to what the Black Smurfs or D'murffzz say, it is not "Gnap! Gnap gnap!", but actually "Gurps! Gurps gurps!"
Sadly the translation of source material from the Beglian French to English, this was lost and changed to what most people know today. The cartoon also furthered this thinking to the masses.
*runs away before someone chooses to maul her... especially Zombie Babies since you run from Zombies on principle*
I already had the idea of a 'tiny' campaign where you shift all the size class so that say Small becomes Medium and Tiny becomes Small and so forth. Orcs are now Large compared to you, etc etc. Its the sort of this that's really easy to do and could be really funny.
What kind of racial traits would Smurfs have??
of course. everyone knows that the D'murffzz are a LE race of primarily CG individuals.
Actually drow are a primarily CE race with a NE sort of governement/laws and the oucasts are primarily CG. :P
who said anything about the drow though ;)
Yeah. What a smurfing smurf. :P
Yeah. What a smurfing smurf. :P
Shut up or your gonna get smurf lifed! :P
Tracker Smurf a ranger.
Harmony Smurf a bard.
Alchemist Smurf clearly has the alchemist feat.
Clockwork Smurf is a warforged.
Wild Smurf is a druid.
Gargamel is a epic solo.
Bigmouth is an orc.
The Wartmongers are clearly trolls.
Father Time & Mother Nature are deities.
Pixies are clearly fey.
Woody ELF, ELF
Now I really want to conceive a Smurf campaign
Are you smurfing me? You're smurfing me, you have to be.
Wait- are these American apples, or Belgian apples?
I don't know. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'm smurfing surprised that this smurfing thread hasn't already been smurfed, and then further smurfed into lockage. You have to smurf it to some people; they really know how to smurf and do it smurfingly.
Smurfs
+2 CHR
+2 to any other stat (including CHR)
Small Size
Move 4
Second Chance
Speak Common
-6 Str
+6 Dex
-2 Con
+2 Cha
DR 5/cold iron
low-light vision
Speak Sylvan and Common
Movement 20 ft
+8 size mod to Hide, grapples, etc.
+8 racial bonus to Hide in forest settings
+2 Move Silently, Spot, Listen & Knowledge (Nature)
Magical Nature (Su): Mimics the effects of the practiced spellcaster feat for any spell-like abilities the smurf may accquire.
Lucky (Ex): Once per day the smurf can reroll one roll that it has just made before the DM declares whether the roll results in success or failure. It must take the result of the reroll, even if it’s worse than the original roll.
And I have no idea how this is off topic.
The storylines tend to be simple tales of bold adventure. The cast has a simple structure as well: almost all the characters look essentially alike — mostly male, very short (just "three apples tall"), with blue skin, white trousers with a hole for their short tails, white hat in the style of a Phrygian cap, and sometimes some additional accessory that identifies a personality (For instance, Handy Smurf wears overalls instead of the standard trousers, a brimmed hat, and a pencil above his ear). Smurfs can walk and run, but often move by skipping on both feet. They love to eat Sarsaparilla (a species of smilax) leaves, whose berries the smurfs naturally call smurfberries (the smurfberries appear only in the cartoon; in the original comics, the Smurfs only eat the leaves from the smilax).
Okay...if a smurf is 3 apples tall, and an average apple is 4" tall, that makes them 12" tall. To fit one, along with all of his furnishings, into a mushroom comfortably, the mushroom would have to be...about...2 feet tall (not counting the cap) with a 20' diamter. That's a hell of a mushroom. And Gargamel must be a frickin' giant. The smurfs barely came up to his ankles. That would make him...let's see...carry the 9...divide by pi...sum of the square of the other 2 sides...ummm...15 feet tall?
Dood. For the last time, D&D: Smurfs (aka 4e) is a fantasy game. Fantasy! Stop crammin' your damned simulationism into my Smurfist ruleset! You're dooin it wrong! :P
the exact height in french is "trois petites pommes" or three small apples, so they're probably somewhere between 3 and 6 inches tall. judging by gargamel being able to hold a smurf in one hand easily and azrael being able to hold one in his mouth without too much problem, i'll ballpark them about 3.5-4 inches.
i have to agree with Idolis.
the exact height in french is "trois petites pommes" or three small apples, so they're probably somewhere between 3 and 6 inches tall. judging by gargamel being able to hold a smurf in one hand easily and azrael being able to hold one in his mouth without too much problem, i'll ballpark them about 3.5-4 inches.
If our original source is French, they could be anywhere from three apples to fifty feet tall. You can't trust the French.
Well, you can trust them to run ...
You can also trust them to lose a war, getting their ASSES HANDED TO THEM, EVEN IF THEY HAVE EVERYTHING GOING FOR THEM.
Makes me ashamed to be part french. (not much, though!)
You can also trust them to lose a war, getting their ASSES HANDED TO THEM, EVEN IF THEY HAVE EVERYTHING GOING FOR THEM.
Makes me ashamed to be part french. (not much, though!)
You've got some Gaul.
At least my french blood is pretty diluted.Since, the English lost a war so long ago that means there a bunch of pansies too, right? Well then, why have they stood with us ever since except a short period in 1812.
I guess since American's never lose wars, except that one draw in Korea, and the loss in Viet Nam. Everyone is a pansy compared to us.
At least the Vietnamese kicked ass. That's part of my heritage that I'm proud of. Never really learned that much about the scottish. Hmm. Time to go hit the books and learn about their warfare styles and how many asses they kicked!
Well since you went that far back, let me remind you that during the American Revolution, we took a ragtag group of farmers and retired soldiers against the super power of its day, England.
Pssst. We also had French help with that one. ;)
Oh, the Vietnamese also kicked the French's ass. And we were defeated by our government's stubborn resolve to not provoke the Chinese/Russians and the BS military decisions made by non-military committee.
Thanks Zombies.
Oh and when we did that in Viet Nam it was the same as tieing our hands and letting ourselves be kicked the
out of. It was a way to run a war. But the point was that we lost almost voluntarily which is no different than what the French did in WWII.Note: There is no disrespect intended to the fine soldiers, sailors, and marines that served in that war by the above post.
Pssst. We also had French help with that one. ;)
Oh, the Vietnamese also kicked the French's ass. And we were defeated by our government's stubborn resolve to not provoke the Chinese/Russians and the BS military decisions made by non-military committee.
That's why I'm proud of my Vietnamese heritage! (even though it's not saying much that they beat the french)
Just in case anyone is wondering, my mom is half french half vietnamese, which is why I don't look asian.
@ Idolis: :P :P :P :P :P I also mentioned that. Not as specific, but still good enough.
Oh, yeah, I forgot that bit. Been a while since Highschool American History.
Thanks Zombies.
No problem. That bit o' history does tend to get glossed over, too. And few actually see Vietnam and the Russians war with Afghanistan as the proxy wars they truly were. It's widely believed the US and Soviet Union never fought during the Cold War. And it's a completely incorrect notion. ;)
I guess since American's never lose wars, except that one draw in Korea, and the loss in Viet Nam. Everyone is a pansy compared to us.
What's this "loss in Vietnam." Didn't you hear what Nixon said? It wasn't a loss, it was a "withdrawal with dignity." Dignity clearly = victory. So we won that one fair and square.
(Oh, crap! We're getting into semi political discussion! Hide! Webster will come and kill us all!)
Oh, c'mon. You actually believe anything that NIXON said? Jeez.
(Oh, crap! We're getting into semi political discussion! Hide! Webster will come and kill us all!)
If the president says it, it must be true. At least for as long as he's president.
If the president says it, it must be true. At least for as long as he's president.
Hmmmm.... *looks inquisitive, nods a bit*
...
*casually walks outside*
...
*walks back in carrying a shovel*
...
*loud clang echoes in the night*
Also more comments about how funny my post was.
*reads the OP*
Hmmmm.... *looks inquisitive, nods a bit*
...
*casually walks outside*
...
*walks back in carrying a shovel*
...
*loud clang echoes in the night*
*reads this post*
*gets a sandwich*
*bangs a spoon against a glass*
*what the hell did your post mean?*
The apples are not specified to a single breed but I think you should recalculate your formula using crab apples.
Smurfs are Belgian so it is most likely a type of apple common in Belgium.
Also more comments about how funny my post was.
I wasn't even clever. But then again, what do I know? I thought they were 4 apples high.
And sorry. Gargamel wasn't an arcane caster. Use Magic Device for that artifact spellbook was about all he had. Gods only know what other skills he wasted his few skill points on. Trapmaking maybe?
Should I start a Smurf Edition vs Smurf Edition War thread?
Nah, just a Smurf comics vs Smurf cartoon Smurfapalooza thread.
Nah, just a Smurf comics vs Smurf cartoon Smurfapalooza thread.
I will literally kill myself.
I will literally kill myself.
That would not be smurfarific....
That would not be smurfarific....
It would be Smurftastic! :P
I will literally kill myself.
I bet 20 bucks that he's too much of a guhrly man to go through with it!
That would not be smurfarific....
wha...It would be Smurftastic! :P
...hey!I bet 20 bucks that he's too much of a guhrly man to go through with it!
et tu, bane?e.e
What did I ever to do you guys?!
*sniffle*
e.e
What did I ever to do you guys?!
*sniffle*
I love making sissies cry.(:P. Just yanking your chain, man. got nothing against you. Even though I secretly suspect that you are Titanium Dragon. Or Vaalingrade Ashland)
(:P. Just yanking your chain, man. got nothing against you. Even though I secretly suspect that you are Titanium Dragon. Or Vaalingrade Ashland)
That would be hilarious.
PS: Where did this 'I secretly suspect that you are [other poster]' in-joke come from? I missed that one, but I have seen the 'suspicions' thrown around a lot lately. I want in on the joke. : P
(I'm not going by edition preferences here, but just posters that I feel want to kill each other.)
Florida sucks.
Rake's a fellow Floridian, so he can't be too bad.
I agree, Rake is completely awesome.
Rake's a fellow Floridian, so he can't be too bad.
Indeed. In my totally unbiased opinion, Rake is just terriffic. Everyone should be more like Rake.
I agree, Rake is completely awesome.
Aww man...there you go again...nevermind what I said last post...
Indeed. In my totally unbiased opinion, Rake is just terriffic. Everyone should be more like Rake.
Wow! Smart guy!
Also:
Started a while back. We all think that Zombie Babies is Rant_Casey. I'm Titanium Dragon. You're Vaalingrade Ashland. Pigknight is Uglyvan. (:P) Cpt_Micha is Psychotic Robot.
Oo.. sorry Micha. : /
So where are these things decided?
Wow! Smart guy!
Also:
Oo.. sorry Micha. : /
So where are these things decided?
I picked people at random that I know hate each others guts. There is also a distinct possibility that I am Judge Dookie, but I actually like some of the stuff he says. He funny!
I picked people at random that I know hate each others guts.
Is it that obvious? :D
and that means that you'd be Titanium Dragon as well (and maybe Judge Dookie)...wait...OH NO! *head explodes*
It's best to not dwell on these things too much...it tends to make that big forehead vein swell up and one eye to twitch a little spastically.
i want a villainous alter-ego now...
I hereby suspect that you are... TEMPEST STORMWIND!