7th edition predictions - Downloaded from the Wizards Community, all coding removed by Solauren

7th edition predictions

Post/Author/DateTime Post
#1
oxybe
Jan 06, 2009 15:56:04 as 7 is a lucky number, does anyone have predictions for 7th edition. now all the information presented here is gained through my sources:

-two classes "the guy" and "the ~~guy~~ girl"

it's based on the reasoning that everyone wants to be "the guy":

the guy who gets the girl
the guy who kills the dragon
the guy with the awesome sword
the guy with the badass enemy
the guy with the pie

the only restrictions is the gender, where you have to be a guy to be "the guy" and a girl to be the ~~guy~~ girl

-details are sketchy on mechanics, but POGs are involved. i believed i also heard mention of tacos but that might have been my informant talking about his lunch plans

-monsters, traps, NPCs, RP encounters, ect... are all rolled up into one... thing... called "the obstacle".

anyone else hear about the best edition evar!
#2
baneofelves
Jan 06, 2009 16:09:41 Now I bet Rant Casey will drop by and say that WOTC will do this if they continue the 'horrors' of 4E.

[sarcasm]This is a dark time for us all, but if we stick together and never let WOTC forget the mistake they made, we'll get through this[sarcasm]

That man is comic genius
#3
Nyronus
Jan 06, 2009 16:19:15 7th Edition, instead of using the traditional pen and paper, will be played with stylish arm mounted hologram projectors that look like some sort of futuristic tonfa. These systems will be retardedly expensive, and almost completely useless, but with one of them strapped to your amr, you can defiantly say "Screw the rules, I have money."

Also, d20s will be rigged to explode and fire poisonous puffer-fish quills into the eyes of those who roll a natural one.
#4
pigknight
Jan 06, 2009 17:10:14 It'll use trading card.

'Cause those are srs bznz.
#5
krusemissile
Jan 06, 2009 19:17:18 The online game table still won't be ready.
#6
zombie_babies
Jan 07, 2009 9:33:02 7th Edition will be administered as a suppository.
#7
Cpt_Micha
Jan 07, 2009 9:48:45 7th Edition will feature Cat Girls as a Player Race to appease angry anime fans and **** off grognards even further. Elves and Dwarves will be removed from the game.
#8
batshido
Jan 07, 2009 10:01:05 7th edition will eschew the traditional use of miniatures in favor of temperature-sensitive body paint, requiring a DM that is at least a gamma-level mutant and/or yogi.

It will also reinstitute thAC0, to the cheers of half-naked, painted up neckbeards everywhere (and the horror of everyone else within line of sight).
#9
Authw8
Jan 10, 2009 15:48:21 7e will be the first edition to feature books that self-destruct Mission Impossible style the minute 8e is released.
#10
doneisi
Jan 10, 2009 17:05:09 7e was/will be the first game to be sent back in time. It will be/was a great success among the Mayan people. Heck they even based there calendar on the current section.
#11
Lord_Ventnor
Jan 10, 2009 18:42:17
7th Edition, instead of using the traditional pen and paper, will be played with stylish arm mounted hologram projectors that look like some sort of futuristic tonfa. These systems will be retardedly expensive, and almost completely useless, but with one of them strapped to your amr, you can defiantly say "Screw the rules, I have money."

Also, d20s will be rigged to explode and fire poisonous puffer-fish quills into the eyes of those who roll a natural one.

7th edition will also be played on motorcycles, to make it more exciting.
#12
oxybe
Jan 10, 2009 18:55:39 motorcycles... IN SPACE!!!!
#13
calronmoonflower
Jan 11, 2009 2:53:35 I perdict the following insults will be launched at 7th edition.

7th not "real" D&D anymore.

They turned it into a video game.

It's a money grab.
#14
Touchfuzzy
Jan 11, 2009 5:14:23
7th Edition will feature Cat Girls as a Player Race to appease angry anime fans and **** off grognards even further. Elves and Dwarves will be removed from the game.

Actually, my sources tell me that the Elves appear in the Player's Ultimate Handbook CIV of the 7e system... They travel through space riding on Space Hippoes... that they capture from the wandering herds between planets.

They also use magical fishbowls, that was first created by a sentient cat, over their heads to breath in space.

(as a note, their dreaded enemies the Orcs, ride Space Alligators)
#15
The_White_Sorcerer
Jan 11, 2009 5:59:31
They turned it into a video game.

Hogwash. The truth is, 5th and 6th Editions having been actual video games, there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth when WotC announces that 7th is played with dice, pencils and paper.

———

Also, rolling a natural 20 will now once again only result in a critical threat. Confirming the critical will require the player to shout "Believe it!" before the DM can say "Snootchie bootchies."
#16
aberzanzorax
Jan 11, 2009 9:26:32 7th edition will be released a month after edition 6.66 as there will be more fallout of "D&D is the devil's game" in the media.

8th edition will be released the day after 7th edition to fix the egregious errors with the "tarrasque-gnome" - everyone's favorite monster by then. It will be released as a post on these forums, when WotC finally realizes they should pay attention to the forums.

However, due to a miscommunication in upper management, 8th edition will be ninja'ed by 9th edition, which they had already started working on.

I write all this with full knowledge, as I am from the future, and have come back to prevent the travesty that is 18th edition...which is wildly popular but has led to worldwide infertility and threatens the human race, as it basically invoves a "kick to the tenders" with the "uberboot" (the "uberboot" being institued in 12th edition for when you rolled a 1...but since 18th is diceless, the kicking just happens each turn). It is also the first edition to actually come with a photon-powered hammergun.
#17
Dark_Stryke
Jan 11, 2009 10:31:21
7th edition will be released a month after edition 6.66 as there will be more fallout of "D&D is the devil's game" in the media.

8th edition will be released the day after 7th edition to fix the egregious errors with the "tarrasque-gnome" - everyone's favorite monster by then. It will be released as a post on these forums, when WotC finally realizes they should pay attention to the forums.

However, due to a miscommunication in upper management, 8th edition will be ninja'ed by 9th edition, which they had already started working on.

I write all this with full knowledge, as I am from the future, and have come back to prevent the travesty that is 18th edition...which is wildly popular but has led to worldwide infertility and threatens the human race, as it basically invoves a "kick to the tenders" with the "uberboot" (the "uberboot" being institued in 12th edition for when you rolled a 1...but since 18th is diceless, the kicking just happens each turn). It is also the first edition to actually come with a photon-powered hammergun.

The future sounds like a wonderful place.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 oxybe Jan 06, 2009 15:56:04	as 7 is a lucky number, does anyone have predictions for 7th edition. now all the information presented here is gained through my sources: -two classes "the guy" and "the ~~guy~~ girl" it's based on the reasoning that everyone wants to be "the guy": the guy who gets the girl the guy who kills the dragon the guy with the awesome sword the guy with the badass enemy the guy with the pie the only restrictions is the gender, where you have to be a guy to be "the guy" and a girl to be the ~~guy~~ girl -details are sketchy on mechanics, but POGs are involved. i believed i also heard mention of tacos but that might have been my informant talking about his lunch plans -monsters, traps, NPCs, RP encounters, ect... are all rolled up into one... thing... called "the obstacle". anyone else hear about the best edition evar!
#2 baneofelves Jan 06, 2009 16:09:41	Now I bet Rant Casey will drop by and say that WOTC will do this if they continue the 'horrors' of 4E. [sarcasm]This is a dark time for us all, but if we stick together and never let WOTC forget the mistake they made, we'll get through this[sarcasm] That man is comic genius
#3 Nyronus Jan 06, 2009 16:19:15	7th Edition, instead of using the traditional pen and paper, will be played with stylish arm mounted hologram projectors that look like some sort of futuristic tonfa. These systems will be retardedly expensive, and almost completely useless, but with one of them strapped to your amr, you can defiantly say "Screw the rules, I have money." Also, d20s will be rigged to explode and fire poisonous puffer-fish quills into the eyes of those who roll a natural one.
#4 pigknight Jan 06, 2009 17:10:14	It'll use trading card. 'Cause those are srs bznz.
#5 krusemissile Jan 06, 2009 19:17:18	The online game table still won't be ready.
#6 zombie_babies Jan 07, 2009 9:33:02	7th Edition will be administered as a suppository.
#7 Cpt_Micha Jan 07, 2009 9:48:45	7th Edition will feature Cat Girls as a Player Race to appease angry anime fans and **** off grognards even further. Elves and Dwarves will be removed from the game.
#8 batshido Jan 07, 2009 10:01:05	7th edition will eschew the traditional use of miniatures in favor of temperature-sensitive body paint, requiring a DM that is at least a gamma-level mutant and/or yogi. It will also reinstitute thAC0, to the cheers of half-naked, painted up neckbeards everywhere (and the horror of everyone else within line of sight).
#9 Authw8 Jan 10, 2009 15:48:21	7e will be the first edition to feature books that self-destruct Mission Impossible style the minute 8e is released.
#10 doneisi Jan 10, 2009 17:05:09	7e was/will be the first game to be sent back in time. It will be/was a great success among the Mayan people. Heck they even based there calendar on the current section.
#11 Lord_Ventnor Jan 10, 2009 18:42:17	7th Edition, instead of using the traditional pen and paper, will be played with stylish arm mounted hologram projectors that look like some sort of futuristic tonfa. These systems will be retardedly expensive, and almost completely useless, but with one of them strapped to your amr, you can defiantly say "Screw the rules, I have money." Also, d20s will be rigged to explode and fire poisonous puffer-fish quills into the eyes of those who roll a natural one. 7th edition will also be played on motorcycles, to make it more exciting.
#12 oxybe Jan 10, 2009 18:55:39	motorcycles... IN SPACE!!!!
#13 calronmoonflower Jan 11, 2009 2:53:35	I perdict the following insults will be launched at 7th edition. 7th not "real" D&D anymore. They turned it into a video game. It's a money grab.
#14 Touchfuzzy Jan 11, 2009 5:14:23	7th Edition will feature Cat Girls as a Player Race to appease angry anime fans and **** off grognards even further. Elves and Dwarves will be removed from the game. Actually, my sources tell me that the Elves appear in the Player's Ultimate Handbook CIV of the 7e system... They travel through space riding on Space Hippoes... that they capture from the wandering herds between planets. They also use magical fishbowls, that was first created by a sentient cat, over their heads to breath in space. (as a note, their dreaded enemies the Orcs, ride Space Alligators)
#15 The_White_Sorcerer Jan 11, 2009 5:59:31	They turned it into a video game. Hogwash. The truth is, 5th and 6th Editions having been actual video games, there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth when WotC announces that 7th is played with dice, pencils and paper. ——— Also, rolling a natural 20 will now once again only result in a critical threat. Confirming the critical will require the player to shout "Believe it!" before the DM can say "Snootchie bootchies."
#16 aberzanzorax Jan 11, 2009 9:26:32	7th edition will be released a month after edition 6.66 as there will be more fallout of "D&D is the devil's game" in the media. 8th edition will be released the day after 7th edition to fix the egregious errors with the "tarrasque-gnome" - everyone's favorite monster by then. It will be released as a post on these forums, when WotC finally realizes they should pay attention to the forums. However, due to a miscommunication in upper management, 8th edition will be ninja'ed by 9th edition, which they had already started working on. I write all this with full knowledge, as I am from the future, and have come back to prevent the travesty that is 18th edition...which is wildly popular but has led to worldwide infertility and threatens the human race, as it basically invoves a "kick to the tenders" with the "uberboot" (the "uberboot" being institued in 12th edition for when you rolled a 1...but since 18th is diceless, the kicking just happens each turn). It is also the first edition to actually come with a photon-powered hammergun.
#17 Dark_Stryke Jan 11, 2009 10:31:21	7th edition will be released a month after edition 6.66 as there will be more fallout of "D&D is the devil's game" in the media. 8th edition will be released the day after 7th edition to fix the egregious errors with the "tarrasque-gnome" - everyone's favorite monster by then. It will be released as a post on these forums, when WotC finally realizes they should pay attention to the forums. However, due to a miscommunication in upper management, 8th edition will be ninja'ed by 9th edition, which they had already started working on. I write all this with full knowledge, as I am from the future, and have come back to prevent the travesty that is 18th edition...which is wildly popular but has led to worldwide infertility and threatens the human race, as it basically invoves a "kick to the tenders" with the "uberboot" (the "uberboot" being institued in 12th edition for when you rolled a 1...but since 18th is diceless, the kicking just happens each turn). It is also the first edition to actually come with a photon-powered hammergun. The future sounds like a wonderful place.