Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 drkguy3107 Oct 14, 2008 23:25:15	I am 19 and have been dating the love of my life for 11 months know. She means everything to me and I will do anything for her and vice versa. Sadly outside of our sense of humor and our values we have no similar interests. I'm a history major and obviously into dnd. Yet whenever I discuss my worlds or my classes she just isn't interested. Anyone have any advice?
#2 rizen_isstaria_dup Oct 15, 2008 1:23:22	I am 19 and have been dating the love of my life for 11 months know. She means everything to me and I will do anything for her and vice versa. Sadly outside of our sense of humor and our values we have no similar interests. I'm a history major and obviously into dnd. Yet whenever I discuss my worlds or my classes she just isn't interested. Anyone have any advice? Tell her to come to one of your games, meet your friends and see what the game is all about. Everyone knows that D&D is just a glorified reason to hang out.
#3 shinydice Oct 15, 2008 9:00:10	Maybe that is a good thing. There may be a time when you come home from D&D and you are upset because I new member is wanting the game to revolve around them. If she knows all about D&D then you can describe the situation to her and she can sympathise with you and then you stay up half the night talking about what you can do about the n00b. Or... maybe you will get home and start to talk and realise she doesn't understand so you stop talking then get undressed and you stay up half the night having lots of sex before slipping into a relaxing slumber. I know which reason I would choose to be tired for.
#4 drkguy3107 Oct 15, 2008 10:09:57	Hahah, good point. However sex is not one of our problems ;) , and we don't fight about this or anything just sometimes I wish she was more interested in either this or in history. And I do want to bring her but that old nerd part of me comes back and makes me nervous about it.
#5 dirtyfrank Oct 15, 2008 10:15:45	Have you shown interest in her hobbies? If you start showing interest in the things that she likes and cares about then she may decide to give d&d a shot.
#6 jm.519 Oct 15, 2008 11:24:02	Just an opinion, take it or leave it: In the context of "long term relationships", this is a relatively young one. I am sure you have several things in common, unless your whole world revolves around history and DnD. Just spend time doing things you both enjoy. As long as you are honest with your girlfriend and she knows AND SUPPORTS your interests, no problems. She will start to develop interest in your interests as your relationship continues to grow. But at this stage, it is good to have independent interests. If you get married to her, you will find that you enjoy some of the things that are just yours. Trust me, 10 years down the road, you will be looking for a hobby or two that involve "you time". My wife didn't try DnD until a few years after we were married. She enjoys it but is not into it as much as I am, so she doesn't play in my regular game. I get some "guy time" each month to go play dnd with friends and it is nice to get some time of my own. Bottom line: Just enjoy your time with her, don't push too hard to get her into all your interests. And I would suggest you develop new hobbies together. She might have some apprehension about coming into your "zone". Why not try to pick up something new to both of you?
#7 rizen_isstaria_dup Oct 15, 2008 23:36:10	I wasn't into the things that I'm into know. My boyfriend now husband introduced me to my two biggest hobbies, D&D and anime. I'm probably more hardcore about them then he is now. I don't think that D&D is nerdy. I find the people who think that D&D is stupid and nerdy are rather lame and have never played the game.
#8 boj0 Oct 16, 2008 1:41:44	Make her play, seriously, she can't knock it as bad if you make it fun for her. I'm 19 and I was with this one girl for over 3 years, and she thought my nerdyness was cute...then we broke up about a month ago..yeah, maybe I shouldn't give advice. But on another note, if she stayed longer than a week after knowing you play D&D, it can't be that big of a deal.
#9 drkguy3107 Oct 16, 2008 2:14:23	To dirty frank, she doesn't really have any hobbies except for scraptbooking and reading. Obviously I read too but thats not much to run on, she just doesn't have any and I can't figure out why. To JM, thanx you easily gave me the best advice. To Rizen, my gf has an awful imagination and can't learn very well without images so everytime I try to explain it (as simple as make belief with dice) she just thinks its weird.
#10 drkguy3107 Oct 16, 2008 2:16:04	Also, I just wanted to say that its not like were fighting or nothing, we get along fine.
#11 terronus Oct 16, 2008 3:55:16	http://www.sharedpaths.com/personal-growth-tools/5lovelanguages.html I recommend checking this out, it has helped me a lot with my relationship.
#12 dirtyfrank Oct 16, 2008 8:09:46	To dirty frank, she doesn't really have any hobbies except for scrapbooking and reading. Obviously I read too but thats not much to run on, she just doesn't have any and I can't figure out why. Help her with scrapbooking or read a few of the books that she enjoys so that you can discuss them with her. Also you can try talking with her to find out something that she wants to do but has never done before. What ever this is, you can try and make it a hobby that both of you can enjoy. To Rizen, my gf has an awful imagination and can't learn very well without images so every time I try to explain it (as simple as make belief with dice) she just thinks its weird. Then use pictures and act. I am sure that if she reads and comprehends what she reads then she has an imagination, but it seems that she needs things to help guide her imagination. Reading some of the books that she likes can help you think of how to word descriptions. You could maybe try coming up with some flavorful descriptions of some fantasy things such as creatures, monsters, magic, and such. Once you have written these descriptions you can practice reading them a few times. Ask your significant other if she will close her eyes and try to imagine what you describe. If this works then you can probably start adding in pictures and acting. If she is not good with math or abstract ideas of "rolling dice kill monsters" then without taking baby steps she may continue to seem confused. You could try introducing her to d&d first by just acting. It was they way I first started playing d&d when I was a young lad. Also, with the small amount of info that you have given, it seems that she is content with life. She may not really have any needs or wants at this moment in her life and therefor has no desire to learn d&d. Maybe her non interest is something that you shouldn't really worry about.
#13 drkguy3107 Oct 17, 2008 0:08:59	Shes now reading the Drizzt books that I gave her so thats what I"m trying to do. hehe.
#14 goblin_pride Oct 17, 2008 0:23:21	I'm a history major and obviously into dnd. Yet whenever I discuss my worlds or my classes she just isn't interested. Anyone have any advice? If D&D doesn't strike her fancy, you might try to make history a bit more lively. Show her that history is a bit more of a puzzle than just names, dates and places. A love of history is usually born when the stuff that's written down is translated into real-world scenarios. Take this for an example: I was reading this book a couple weeks back. It wasn't a bad story, but it was a bit dry. It was about this bunch of Hippies that had this landlord that was a real jackass. The landlord kept just jacking up the rent every month and finally the Hippies sent him a letter to tell him off. Anyway, the landlord gets his nuts all in torque and gets a bunch guys together to go beat up the Hippies and get his rent or throw them out. So these punks turn up and the Hippies get the guys from across the street to help them kick the crap out of the punks the landlord hired. After they sent the punks packing, the Hippies start making rules for their new commune and the guys from across the street tell the landlord that if he sends any more punks after the Hippies, they're gonna come kick his cheeks up 'round his ears. I just related the story of the American revolution in terms that anyone can understand. It may not be quite as dry or nearly as detailed as a historian would make it, but you can understand the motivations a bit more by putting history in a more modern context. Maybe if you tryed to make history more alive and less like memorizing, she might surprise you.
#15 dirtyfrank Oct 17, 2008 1:17:01	goblin_pride, did you just make American puritans the hippies in your story? You know, I have never thought of people as up tight as the puritans as hippies. I guess this gives me something new to think about.
#16 drkguy3107 Oct 17, 2008 10:21:04	Uhhh, interesting version.
#17 goblin_pride Oct 17, 2008 12:04:05	goblin_pride, did you just make American puritans the hippies in your story? You know, I have never thought of people as up tight as the puritans as hippies. I guess this gives me something new to think about. Compared to the English of the time, the Puritans were like the hippies. They were outcast and ostracized for being different, extremists or just plain nuts. They thought their way of life and beliefs were better than everyone else's, much like the hippies of the 60s. Hippies are only hippies in the modern context*. I tend to use hippies as any outcast or revolutionary element when explaining history. Although, to be fair, I was calling the founding fathers hippies in my little yarn. Who would have thought of calling the likes of Washington, Jefferson and Franklin hippies? * Look at the Luddite movement during the industrial revolution and tell me that hippies are new. Go on, I dare you.
#18 dirtyfrank Oct 17, 2008 12:14:56	I know hippies aren't new. I just never expected someone to use "hippies" to describe the founders of the US whom were very up tight religious people. You are right on how the puritan beliefs were different from those that were the norm in england at the time. The founding fathers were also fighting against the man, so I guess, in a way, they could be called hippies.