Andrew Jackson vs. Chuck Norris - Downloaded from the Wizards Community, all coding removed by Solauren

Andrew Jackson vs. Chuck Norris

Post/Author/DateTime Post
#1
Lord_Ventnor
Jan 22, 2009 3:20:03 I think we've pretty much established that Andrew Jackson was one of the most kickass presidents of all time. Hell, he's getting his own movie where he fights undead and werewolves in space (presumably with only a dueling pistol. One of those really old ones. And he'll still win).

But how does he stack up against the king of internet memes, Chuck Norris? If these two titans were ever to clash, who would be the one walking away? This question, I pose to you. Answer, as best you can.
#2
Overmind69
Jan 22, 2009 3:22:23 Chuck Norris is actually Andrew Jackson, who is also, in fact, Pun Pun. So, logic dictates that Chuck Norris always wins.
#3
rambaldi
Jan 22, 2009 4:01:48 But could he take the pirates?

What about the ninja?

Or the ninja immediately followed by the pirates?

And don't even get started on the the Super Ninja Cyborg Pirate Jesus.
#4
Ramien
Jan 22, 2009 11:57:06 So when do we start seeing all the Andrew Jackson 'facts' so we can compare the two?
#5
dirtyfrank
Jan 22, 2009 12:56:22 Andrew Jackson would when because he is more bad ass. Of course Ronald Reagan could beat both of them at the same time because he is that bad ass.
#6
Lord_Ventnor
Jan 22, 2009 14:39:22
Andrew Jackson would when because he is more bad ass. Of course Ronald Reagan could beat both of them at the same time because he is that bad ass.

Read And the Band Played On. Reagan's not nearly as badass as everyone thinks he is.
#7
dirtyfrank
Jan 22, 2009 14:58:35
Read And the Band Played On. Reagan's not nearly as badass as everyone thinks he is.

Your right, he isn't. He's even more badass than everyone thinks. ;)
#8
zombie_babies
Jan 22, 2009 15:03:17
Your right, he isn't. He's even more badass than everyone thinks. ;)

That's right. Let's look at his name, shall we? Reagan. Sounds like "Ray-gun". Ray Guns are damned badass. Case closed, chumps an' chumpettes. ;)
#9
Lord_Ventnor
Jan 22, 2009 15:21:49
That's right. Let's look at his name, shall we? Reagan. Sounds like "Ray-gun". Ray Guns are damned badass. Case closed, chumps an' chumpettes. ;)

He was an actor. He could only pretend to be badass. Ol' Hickory'd flay him alive.
#10
zombie_babies
Jan 22, 2009 15:29:51
He was an actor. He could only pretend to be badass. Ol' Hickory'd flay him alive.

Dude, he wasn't acting his last name. Ray Gun. That's just what he is, man! Though Andy would beat him down.
#11
dirtyfrank
Jan 22, 2009 15:30:58
He was an actor. He could only pretend to be badass. Ol' Hickory'd flay him alive.

Telling a world power to tear down a wall was some very badass acting.
#12
dirtyfrank
Jan 22, 2009 15:33:12 You got remember his first name too. Ronald. That sounds like Run-Old, which means he could run while old. OK, so it's not as bad ass as ray gun but think of it this way. He was an old man that could run around doing acrobatic things while shooting a ray gun. Now that is badass.
#13
Lord_Ventnor
Jan 22, 2009 15:46:27 At the same time he let people die of AIDS.

That kind of irked me.
#14
rambaldi
Jan 22, 2009 16:33:30
You got remember his first name too. Ronald. That sounds like Run-Old, which means he could run while old. OK, so it's not as bad ass as ray gun but think of it this way. He was an old man that could run around doing acrobatic things while shooting a ray gun. Now that is badass.

And to tie in to my earlier post, what else can run around doing acrobatic things? Ninjas! Ronald Reagon was a Ninja, it is so obvious now.
#15
jasonorlandohawk
Jan 22, 2009 16:48:16 Ninjas don't use Ray Guns, silly!

I'd say that, if we're going for a presidential beat-down dream team, the top 4 picks should be...

1) Andrew Jackson (Weapon Focus: Cane)

2) Ronald Ray-Gun (Doesn't that make Star Wars that much funnier?)

3) Theodore Roosevelt (Ranger w/ a Badger Animal Companion... no, seriously)

4) George Washington (Who was rumored to be bulletproof during the Revolutionary War.)

Not sure who we can sign up to team w/ Chuck Norris in this brutal match... but it's already starting to sound interesting.
#16
pigknight
Jan 22, 2009 17:06:13 Andrew Jackson's wiki reads like Chuck Norris facts.
#17
toastedamphibian
Jan 22, 2009 19:16:26
But could he take the pirates?

What about the ninja?

Or the ninja immediately followed by the pirates?

And don't even get started on the the Super Ninja Cyborg Pirate Jesus.

The pirates fight FOR Andrew Jackson. I'm pretty damn sure I made this point already.
#18
pigknight
Jan 22, 2009 19:21:06 Andrew Jackson had pirates, native americans, and a militia fight for him.
#19
toastedamphibian
Jan 22, 2009 19:43:21 Andrew Jackson can dodge bullets, he just chooses not to.
Andrew Jackson beat the british so badly, they declared peace retroactivley.
Andrew Jackson made saddles and learned law, so that he would know just how hard he could ride his students.
At 13, Andrew Jackson survived small pox, starvation and a sword attack in a british POW camp.
Davey Crockett was the king of the wild frontier, Andrew Jackson was his boss.
When told to stop the war with spanish Florida, Andrew Jackson did. He annexed it.
Bullets are scared of Andrew Jackson.

Do you want more Andrew Jackson Facts?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_jackson
#20
pigknight
Jan 22, 2009 20:00:09 ^ Funny and true.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 Lord_Ventnor Jan 22, 2009 3:20:03	I think we've pretty much established that Andrew Jackson was one of the most kickass presidents of all time. Hell, he's getting his own movie where he fights undead and werewolves in space (presumably with only a dueling pistol. One of those really old ones. And he'll still win). But how does he stack up against the king of internet memes, Chuck Norris? If these two titans were ever to clash, who would be the one walking away? This question, I pose to you. Answer, as best you can.
#2 Overmind69 Jan 22, 2009 3:22:23	Chuck Norris is actually Andrew Jackson, who is also, in fact, Pun Pun. So, logic dictates that Chuck Norris always wins.
#3 rambaldi Jan 22, 2009 4:01:48	But could he take the pirates? What about the ninja? Or the ninja immediately followed by the pirates? And don't even get started on the the Super Ninja Cyborg Pirate Jesus.
#4 Ramien Jan 22, 2009 11:57:06	So when do we start seeing all the Andrew Jackson 'facts' so we can compare the two?
#5 dirtyfrank Jan 22, 2009 12:56:22	Andrew Jackson would when because he is more bad ass. Of course Ronald Reagan could beat both of them at the same time because he is that bad ass.
#6 Lord_Ventnor Jan 22, 2009 14:39:22	Andrew Jackson would when because he is more bad ass. Of course Ronald Reagan could beat both of them at the same time because he is that bad ass. Read And the Band Played On. Reagan's not nearly as badass as everyone thinks he is.
#7 dirtyfrank Jan 22, 2009 14:58:35	Read And the Band Played On. Reagan's not nearly as badass as everyone thinks he is. Your right, he isn't. He's even more badass than everyone thinks. ;)
#8 zombie_babies Jan 22, 2009 15:03:17	Your right, he isn't. He's even more badass than everyone thinks. ;) That's right. Let's look at his name, shall we? Reagan. Sounds like "Ray-gun". Ray Guns are damned badass. Case closed, chumps an' chumpettes. ;)
#9 Lord_Ventnor Jan 22, 2009 15:21:49	That's right. Let's look at his name, shall we? Reagan. Sounds like "Ray-gun". Ray Guns are damned badass. Case closed, chumps an' chumpettes. ;) He was an actor. He could only pretend to be badass. Ol' Hickory'd flay him alive.
#10 zombie_babies Jan 22, 2009 15:29:51	He was an actor. He could only pretend to be badass. Ol' Hickory'd flay him alive. Dude, he wasn't acting his last name. Ray Gun. That's just what he is, man! Though Andy would beat him down.
#11 dirtyfrank Jan 22, 2009 15:30:58	He was an actor. He could only pretend to be badass. Ol' Hickory'd flay him alive. Telling a world power to tear down a wall was some very badass acting.
#12 dirtyfrank Jan 22, 2009 15:33:12	You got remember his first name too. Ronald. That sounds like Run-Old, which means he could run while old. OK, so it's not as bad ass as ray gun but think of it this way. He was an old man that could run around doing acrobatic things while shooting a ray gun. Now that is badass.
#13 Lord_Ventnor Jan 22, 2009 15:46:27	At the same time he let people die of AIDS. That kind of irked me.
#14 rambaldi Jan 22, 2009 16:33:30	You got remember his first name too. Ronald. That sounds like Run-Old, which means he could run while old. OK, so it's not as bad ass as ray gun but think of it this way. He was an old man that could run around doing acrobatic things while shooting a ray gun. Now that is badass. And to tie in to my earlier post, what else can run around doing acrobatic things? Ninjas! Ronald Reagon was a Ninja, it is so obvious now.
#15 jasonorlandohawk Jan 22, 2009 16:48:16	Ninjas don't use Ray Guns, silly! I'd say that, if we're going for a presidential beat-down dream team, the top 4 picks should be... 1) Andrew Jackson (Weapon Focus: Cane) 2) Ronald Ray-Gun (Doesn't that make Star Wars that much funnier?) 3) Theodore Roosevelt (Ranger w/ a Badger Animal Companion... no, seriously) 4) George Washington (Who was rumored to be bulletproof during the Revolutionary War.) Not sure who we can sign up to team w/ Chuck Norris in this brutal match... but it's already starting to sound interesting.
#16 pigknight Jan 22, 2009 17:06:13	Andrew Jackson's wiki reads like Chuck Norris facts.
#17 toastedamphibian Jan 22, 2009 19:16:26	But could he take the pirates? What about the ninja? Or the ninja immediately followed by the pirates? And don't even get started on the the Super Ninja Cyborg Pirate Jesus. The pirates fight FOR Andrew Jackson. I'm pretty damn sure I made this point already.
#18 pigknight Jan 22, 2009 19:21:06	Andrew Jackson had pirates, native americans, and a militia fight for him.
#19 toastedamphibian Jan 22, 2009 19:43:21	Andrew Jackson can dodge bullets, he just chooses not to. Andrew Jackson beat the british so badly, they declared peace retroactivley. Andrew Jackson made saddles and learned law, so that he would know just how hard he could ride his students. At 13, Andrew Jackson survived small pox, starvation and a sword attack in a british POW camp. Davey Crockett was the king of the wild frontier, Andrew Jackson was his boss. When told to stop the war with spanish Florida, Andrew Jackson did. He annexed it. Bullets are scared of Andrew Jackson. Do you want more Andrew Jackson Facts? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_jackson
#20 pigknight Jan 22, 2009 20:00:09	^ Funny and true.