Gnomes. I don't know what, but they're doing something. Possibly involving corn.
A secretive council of Jews rules the entire world.
A secretive council of aliens rule the world.
A secretive council of beings rendered immortal via the discovery of the philosopher's stone secretly rule the world.
The moon landing was shot in a Hollywood soundstage.
back...and to the left
back...and to the left
back...and to the left
Tribute to JFK
1) Biden keeps being the worst running mate anyone could have ever picked. EVER.
2) Obama drops the "October Surprise" and cans Biden, extending an olive branch to Hillary, sure to rope the furious Dem Femmes back into the corral (thus proving Palin right, that Biden should have gotten the VP thing in writing).
3) Shocking everybody, Hillary swallows her pride, pushes her temper down, and accepts.
4) Hillary now knows that, should Obama get elected, she's only one well-placed bullet away from her goal...
Mind control victims are everywhere and are robots for the larger satanic cult that runs the world. (MK-Ultra, The Manchurian Candidate)
EDIT: PS: Said mind control victims could be presidents or governors.
The Wall Street bailout was forseen by economists and the treasury secretary long before now and was allowed to happen so that the seven hundred billion dollars could be funneled into offshore accounts in the last months of Bush's time in office to fund a takeover of the government by corporate interests after the next commander-in-chief takes office.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/11_March_2004_Madrid_train_bombings#Conspiracy_theories
Sectors of the People's Party (PP), now in opposition, as well as certain media outlets, such as El Mundo newspaper and the COPE radio station owned by the Catholic Church,[90] continue to support theories relating the attack to a vast conspiracy to remove the governing party from power. Support for the conspiracy was also given by the AVT, Spain's largest association of victims of terrorism.
These theories speculate that the Socialist Party (PSOE), together with ETA and members of the security forces and national and foreign (Morocco) secret services, were involved in the bombings. Defenders of the claims that ETA participated in some form in the 11th of March attacks have affirmed that there is circumstantial evidence linking the Islamists with two ETA members who were detained while driving the outskirts of Madrid in a van containing 500 kg of explosives 11 days before the train bombings
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Controversies_about_the_2004_Madrid_train_bombings
------
The watergate, next to this, is Sesame Street.
The housing/mortgage crisis is a scheme to identify and suppress low-income voters.
Hurricane Katrina was caused by the US Government testing a new weapon system, which uses nuclear discharges to shift tectonic plates. They used New Orleans as a target because it was siphoning away too much aid money, which they wanted to use for defense spending instead.
I've got a million of these. I come into contact with some, let's say "Interesting" folks in the course of my daily life.
A secretive council of Jews rules the entire world.
A secretive council of aliens rule the world.
A secretive council of beings rendered immortal via the discovery of the philosopher's stone secretly rule the world.
Rubbish. They're immortal Jewish alien philosophers.
And they breath fire!
Rubbish. They're immortal Jewish alien philosophers.
And they breath fire!
Yes, but if you line your underpants with aluminum foil they can't read your mind.
Yes, but if you line your underpants with aluminum foil they can't read your mind.
Sweet! It's always good to find out that something you do "just for grins" has an added - and important - benefit. What?
Oh man, this is some insane stuff. I didn't think anyone would bother with this.Yes, but if you line your underpants with aluminum foil they can't read your mind.
You know, some folks tested that aluminum helmets actually strengthen government radio waves. So guess who gave people the helmets idea in the first place?
You know, some folks tested that aluminum helmets actually strengthen government radio waves. So guess who gave people the helmets idea in the first place?
Yes, but the aluminum foil in your underpants makes them read an organ slightly lower, geographically speaking.
Yes, but the aluminum foil in your underpants makes them read an organ slightly lower, geographically speaking.
Don't know for you goblin, but I wouldn't want the government to bombard my genitals with radio waves. But that's just me...
Don't know for you goblin, but I wouldn't want the government to bombard my genitals with radio waves. But that's just me...
I see no harm in it for me if the government bombards your genitals with radio waves.
I see no harm in it for me if the government bombards your genitals with radio waves.
Go my terribly mutated children. Find the goblin, bring I'm in our fold.... mwahahahahahaha
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_flag
Former GRU officer Aleksey Galkin[6], former FSB officer Alexander Litvinenko [7] and other whistleblowers from the Russian government and security services have asserted that the 1999 Russian apartment bombings that precipitated the Second Chechen War were false flag operations perpetrated by the FSB, the successor organization to the KGB.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_apartment_bombings#Theory_of_Russian_government_involvement
Theory of Russian government involvement
The bombings happened over a span of two weeks in 1999 and stopped when three FSB agents were caught by the local police while planting a similar bomb in an apartment block in the city of Ryazan. Russian Minister of Internal Affairs Vladimir Rushailo congratulated citizens with preventing the terrorist act soon after the incident, but FSB Director Nikolai Patrushev declared that the incident was a training exercise, when he had learned that the FSB agents were caught. The next day, President Boris Yeltsin received a demand from 24 Russian governors to transfer all state powers to Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, according to Yushenkov.[93] Second Chechen War began on September 23, a week after the last bombing and a day after Ryazan incident. This war made Putin very popular, although he was previously unknown to the public, and helped him to win a landslide victory in the presidential elections on March 26, 2000.
These events were a successful coup d'état organized by the FSB to bring future Russian president Vladimir Putin to power according to a theory that was put forward by writer David Satter, political scientist Vladimir Pribylovsky, historian Yuriy Felshtinsky, former FSB officer and writer Alexander Litvinenko, Russian Duma lawmaker Sergei Yushenkov, film maker Andrei Nekrasov, investigator Mikhail Trepashkin, and others. Some of them described the bombings as typical "active measures" practicised by the KGB in the past. David Satter[94] stated during his testimony in the United States House of Representatives that:
"With Yeltsin and his family facing possible criminal prosecution, however, a plan was put into motion to put in place a successor who would guarantee that Yeltsin and his family would be safe from prosecution and the criminal division of property in the country would not be subject to reexamination. For “Operation Successor” to succeed, however, it was necessary to have a massive provocation. In my view, this provocation was the bombing in September, 1999 of the apartment building bombings in Moscow, Buinaksk, and Volgodonsk. In the aftermath of these attacks, which claimed 300 lives, a new war was launched against Chechnya. Putin, the newly appointed prime minister who was put in charge of that war, achieved overnight popularity. Yeltsin resigned early. Putin was elected president and his first act was to guarantee Yeltsin immunity from prosecution."[95]
According to book by Felshtinsky and Pribylovsky, the September 4 terrorist attack in Buynaksk was probably conducted by a sabotage unit of twelve Russian GRU officers who acted on the orders of Colonel-General Valentin Korabelnikov.[5][96] They referred to the testimony of GRU officer Aleksey Galkin. According to this version, all other attacks were organized by FSB forces based on the following chain of command: "Putin (former director of the secret service, future president) - Patrushev (Putin's successor as director of the secret service) - secret service General German Ugryumov (director of the counter-terrorism department)." FSB officers Vladimir Romanovich, Ramazan Dyshenkov and others directly carried out the bombings. Several Chechens were recruited by FSB agents to deliver explosives disguised as bags of sugar to Volgodonsk and Moscow: Adam Dekkushev, Yusuf Krymshamkhalov, and Timur Batchaev. The Chechens believed that apartment buildings were merely temporarily storage places, and that the explosives would be used against federal military targets. Ethnic Karachai Achemez Gochiyaev rented the apartment basements as storage spaces on request from FSB agent Ramazan Dyshenkov.[5]
Go my terribly mutated children. Find the goblin, bring I'm in our fold.... mwahahahahahaha
Ewwww. Teenage Mutant Ninja Sperm..
Rubbish. They're immortal Jewish alien philosophers.
And they breath fire!
I think you're mixing them up with the dragons, dear. And they don't rule the world, only Australia.
I've heard he actually had information before the US military...
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=af07
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!
Bush bought the first election (this one isn't really a theory as much as common consensus at this point)
Bush is still friends with Osama.
Osama is in the DC Hilton and whenever they need to scare the American people they just take him to a studio in the next room.
On the reverse side Bush had Osama's brother killed and 9/11 was his revenge.
Bush had the Diebold voting machines rigged to throw the second election.
Cheney is really an evil robot.
Along those same lines Dolly Parton is also a robot.
Blue men live in Antarctica.
The answer to life the universe and everything is 42.
Al Gore is a robot from the future that has failed to save us.
How’s that for fun ones.
that reminds me, I need to watch terminator again. Awesome stuff everyone. Keep it comingWhat can an infinite being sacrifice? An infinite being can sacrifice endlessly...or can it sacrifice its infinity?
What if the shudder in the world - which maddened the skies and threw all into chaos and brought death into the world was God reaching out to save creation, and becoming mortal.
What if God so loved the world he would stop being God to save it?
Given the choice between infinite virtue and infinite power what did he chose?
The answer to life the universe and everything is 42.
It's the question that's the problem.
You know, for some really insane conspiracy theories you should check some work by The-Man-Whose-Name-I-Shall-Not-Bring-Up-Here*, especially the Alberto series. Caution: you may find that material offensive.
*I wish I had a nickname like that.
It's the question that's the problem.
You know, for some really insane conspiracy theories you should check some work by The-Man-Whose-Name-I-Shall-Not-Bring-Up-Here*, especially the Alberto series. Caution: you may find that material offensive.
*I wish I had a nickname like that.
I don’t see the problem we just need to examine Dents brain to find the Question. I see that as a sacrifice I can deal with.
Cheney is really an evil robot.
BS. Everyone knows Cheney is Satan.
BS. Everyone knows Cheney is Satan.
Why can't he be both?
Why can't he be both?
Robo-satan? Didn't Futurama do that already? ;)
Pope John Paul II assassination attempt
Several theories exist concerning Mehmet Ali Agca's assassination attempt. One, strongly advocated since the early 1980s by Michael Ledeen among others, is that the assassination attempt had originated from Moscow and that the KGB instructed the Bulgarian and East German secret services to carry out the mission. The Bulgarian Secret Service was allegedly instructed by the KGB to assassinate the Pope because of his support of Poland's Solidarity movement, seeing it as one of the most significant threats to Soviet hegemony in Eastern Europe.
We're all really just characters in a roleplaying game that has a 'DM' that is cruel and controls everything. To entertain him/herself and his/her friends, we die or are horribly hurt. Scary, isn't it?
If that's the case, I want to kick the ass of whoever rolled up my metabolic rate. All I have to do is THINK of fattening foods and I gain! I want my friend's metabolic rate. She lives on Twinkies and is thin as a rail. Think I can get 'em to re-roll my character?
And would that make a massive nuclear war a TPK?
The whole "Say no to drugs" thing was originally started as an experiment in reverse psychology by our government to make more profit off of drugs.
fixt
John McCain actually is Nyarlathotep.
Area 51 actually is R'lyeh, were death Cthulhu waits sleeping ...
Area 51 actually is R'lyeh, were death Cthulhu waits sleeping ...
My dark lord is waiting for me to free him. . .
My dark lord is waiting for me to free him. . .
Pffft. Cthulhu isn't even a real Great Old One. And why do we know this? Because saying Cthulhu doesn't cause madness in all who hear it.
Alternatively Obama is one of Nyarlathoteps's masks.
McCain is chosen by Nurgle.
-Joni
Obama is a chosen of Tzeench. It's pretty obvious when you think about it. Hope and Change? Clearly the markings of a Tzeenchian.
Alternatively Obama is one of Nyarlathoteps's masks.
McCain is chosen by Nurgle.
-Joni
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
The answer to life the universe and everything is 42.
Its true actually - page forty two of the DMG, Douglas Adams was on to something.
@Ocarina_Guy PS as a canadian i resent your statement, the billions of dollars that have gone missing in our parliament were NOT spent on waffles and syrup.
Its true actually - page forty two of the DMG, Douglas Adams was on to something.
@Ocarina_Guy PS as a canadian i resent your statement, the billions of dollars that have gone missing in our parliament were NOT spent on waffles and syrup.
Or is that just what you want us to think? Note that I did say "secretly".
I'm sorry if I did offend; it's just that I make fun of everything. I make light of band geeks, D&D players, nerds in general, Canada, most religions, and anything else I've forgotten about right now. I happen to be the first three, by the way.
There are very few actual "internet hackers" who have nothing better to do then make your life miserable. Most viruses, spyware, etc are the result of internet mercanaries designed to **** with your computer so you go out and buy anti-virus/spyware software..
The 2000 elections were rigged. But they were rigged by democrats first, then the republicans re-rigged them. That's why they're so ******. Because they can't just comeout and prove it or else they'd be incriminating themselves..
There are very few actual "internet hackers" who have nothing better to do then make your life miserable. Most viruses, spyware, etc are the result of internet mercanaries designed to **** with your computer so you go out and buy anti-virus/spyware software.
and they actually get paid by these anti-virus/spyware producers to do it.
and they actually get paid by these anti-virus/spyware producers to do it.
Of course. Otherwise they wouldn't be mercenaries, would they?
Ok, basically, I want to see some really crazy conspiracy theories on anything and everything. (I'm really bored right now)
Why do you want to know my theories, man? (twitch) What are you going to do with the information huh? (twitch twitch) are you a fed? ANSWER ME!!! (vein pops up in forehead) You're an alien, I can feel your alien energy, man. I don't know who you are but I've seen you in a white coat before, man. You had a needle in my EYEBALL man. Why did you think injecting battery acid into them would give me psychic powers, man. Well it must do coz I can still SEE(twitchtwitchtwitch). I know your plans, you have a genital shrink ray so you will have the biggest wang in the world and the chicks will want you, am I right?
What? Too much? Oh, very well (sticks vacuum cleaner in ear). There, he's in a safe place now. Satisfied? Good. And now for something completely different:
We are all puppets of someone we have never met. Due to the cascading effect of everyone being a puppet of everyone else, we actually control our destinies ourselves, but since we're puppets of someone else, when it goes bad, it's their fault. So basically we can have our cake, and eat it too.
Why do you want to know my theories, man? (twitch) What are you going to do with the information huh? (twitch twitch) are you a fed? ANSWER ME!!! (vein pops up in forehead) You're an alien, I can feel your alien energy, man. I don't know who you are but I've seen you in a white coat before, man. You had a needle in my EYEBALL man. Why did you think injecting battery acid into them would give me psychic powers, man. Well it must do coz I can still SEE(twitchtwitchtwitch). I know your plans, you have a genital shrink ray so you will have the biggest wang in the world and the chicks will want you, am I right?
Dammit! I've been caught!
Pffft. Cthulhu isn't even a real Great Old One. And why do we know this? Because saying Cthulhu doesn't cause madness in all who hear it.
Obviously you're just not saying it right. Keep trying.
Or is that just what you want us to think? Note that I did say "secretly".
I'm sorry if I did offend; it's just that I make fun of everything. I make light of band geeks, D&D players, nerds in general, Canada, most religions, and anything else I've forgotten about right now. I happen to be the first three, by the way.
i wasnt offended, i was trying to add fun to the idea of waffles, and how shittty my parliament is
Voting is worthless. Not worthless as in "two party system is corrupt", but worthless as in "they disregard your vote and just pick whoever they want" useless. The entire purpose of the election is to see how people view the candidates and their policies, then socialy engineer them to lean the way they want them too.. Or if nesscary, leave them with only a crappy second option.
Globalism, or "the new world order" is inevitable, and Adolph Hitler opposed it. Perhaps for a selfish comic book supervillain "I want to rule the world!" but regardless, he got in the way of the global agenda. And was destroyed cause of it. The United Nations was formed at the time of world war two...
Our forefathers never had any desire to be free. Quite the contrary, they wanted to establish a secular fascism, and takedown the religious theocrats that stood in their way. Thus formed the United States. The confederacy? A bunch of drunken idiots who really did want state freedom and got their asses kicked for nearly ruining the plan..
"The world hates us" is a social engineering attempt to make us more left-wing. The globalist agenda is world-wide, but America is maturing at a lower rate then Europe. Whether because our government wants to engrain it into us slowly, or because Americans aren't as submissive as Europeons.. As such, this "world hatred" is an attempt to put our leftwing ideology into high gear.. Afterall, if they hated us so much, then why do they go into the same wars we do? Why do they have simaler governments?
The Hardon Collider is a malevolent piece of equipment the government is working on. Why would they need to recreate the big bang? This is not to learn, this is to threaten. They want a weapon that could destroy the whole world, maybe even the whole universe if we don't heed their word as law and worship them as though they were a god..
Ofcourse to validate these sorts of conspiracies is to give some sortof merit to ideas such as Skull&Bones, The Lizard People, etc. I don't want to believe in such things, they sound ridiculous. But it makes sense when you think about it..
Ofcourse sense I'm an officer I'm not immune to this. People think I'm part of "the brotherhood". IE: We're all part of some bigger secret society dedicated to harassing and oppressing others, and it's wholly white supramacist.
I'll tell you the truth: I went to school, there were alot of rednecks there. The teachers, the students, everything. But it wasn't some secret innitation or anything. It was just a bunch of crazy ass rednecks who wanted to wield a badge. Typical. But nothing supernatural about it..
To be honest, me and my girlfriend think the world is like Paranoia rpg. There's lots of people conspiring. Against eachother, against the establishment, against the rebels, against themselves.
Julz noticed this when she heard one of her mom's good glass plates drop to the floor. Her and her mom came running in there and we three. (Her dad, brother, and me) We're in the kitchen. But we quickly cleaned it up so they couldn't see the damage.
Julz: What happened here?!
Brother: Nothing..
Jim: Don't worry, we cleaned it up.
Mom: Cleaned up what?
Brother: Nothing.. *Glares my way*
Mom: What are they talking about?
Dad: Don't look at me. I heard something from outside and came in.
Mom: Yeah, sure...
Just replace us with government.
When you reach a curtain level in Dungeons & Dragons your dungeon master teaches real spells that you can use to control peoples minds.
"The world hates us" is a social engineering attempt to make us more left-wing.
And WotC is part of it. Proof: 4e with its attempt to balance classes. Everyone knows:
Balance = Equality = Communism
And Communism a la "Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)" at that!
Here's a few more:
WotC is run by:
- Evil (possibly drow-loving) feminists whose main agenda was to undermine society by using different gendered pronouns for class descriptions. Or in short: Astrid's Parlor.
- "Forgotten Realms"-Haters who invented 4e only to destroy the best campaign world ever. (We want our LG themepark back, booo!)
- WoW-addicts turning the game into a MMO
- Capitalists targeting the kiddie market
- Communists (see above)
- all of the above (despite all the possible contradictions between the groups)
Hurhurhurhurhur! (Added to emphasize satirical content)
Cheers!
Captn M.
i wasnt offended, i was trying to add fun to the idea of waffles, and how shittty my parliament is
Right after seeing this I was reminded of a little-known verse to the tune of "Yankee Doodle" that is rumored to have been making the rounds after the American Revolution shortly after the big debate to either keep the Articles of Confedration or ditch it in favor of our current Constitution. Apparently, not much has changed since the time of the Founding Fathers:
The war is done, the battle's won, and what has been our progress?
Fate cast away our Parliament and cursed us with a Congress!
Sigh! I love history!
The box exists, but where is a lie.
Freedom can only be obtained through servign the right master.
All things carry a price, for those which are most valuable, blood must be paid, and there be much debt.
The evil one is here, he is hiding in plain sight, and his servants make good seem to be evil and evil seem to be good.
Beware those who seek to make all equal, for they will only succeed by killing all.
Beware peace, for it comes after death.
Beware those who claim they tell the truth, for they lie.
Beware those who dispute uniqueness, for they dispute meaning and all things.
God didn't create the universe per se. The Universe is only a transiant state in the creation of four buddies to play role-playing games, the breadth of which our mortal minds can fathome, with. In a few years, everything will collapse into the great DM entity, because God is tired of taking care of everything and wants to be a player.
Oh wait, that's actually happening.
~Fuel prices were purposefully hiked up in the U.S. to either a.) reduce emissions because it was speeding up a bad climate change b.)Let oil companies have a few more good years where they buy the oil for the same price they got it for two years ago yeat mark it up 400% before they implement hydrogen cars to pay them back for all the campaign contributions. c.)help force our recession
~The state of the economy is a forced condition that is a result of several factors (media lies/false oil commodities demand and pricing/forced lending) thats aim is force companies to make jobs int he U.S. as the dollar is worth the least. Meanwhile all the bigwigs with cash can buy up all of this "toxic" debt are ridiculously low prices, then once the media lets up and people start spending they will make out like bandits with stocks rising back to normal and reduced work force/shipping costs because they relocated their productiont he good ol' USA.
love,
conspirate malkav
President Bush is calling up Reserve units for potential "peacekeeping" in urban areas following the announcement of the election results.
Oh wait, that's actually happening.
Umm. After reading that, the only "proof" I saw was some guy's speculation. Remember, it's hurricane season. And Bush was skewered (unfairly - and there's plenty of other stuff to skewer the guy for) after Katrina. If something like that were to happen again, close to the election, it would likely harm the Rep campaign, no? The rest of it discussed training of troops. Which, last I checked, was a good thing. ;)
If, for some reason, this were to be used to bring the military hammer down upon the heads of protesting civilians, Bush is not the man to fear here. Sure, he may authorize it, but I know I'll at least be able to fight back. If the Dems had their way, we'd have no weapons with which to fight. Sounds like an idictment of both "sides" here. If this is a real cause to fear for our freedom, the Second Amendment becomes even more significant, no?
If this was an actual example of a conspiracy theory, my bad. :D Reading that article certainly gives that impression. One guy makes a couple of guesses based solely upon his own opinion and absolutely without evidence. Consipracy theory? Hell yes! ;)
If this was an actual example of a conspiracy theory, my bad. :D Reading that article certainly gives that impression. One guy makes a couple of guesses based solely upon his own opinion and absolutely without evidence. Consipracy theory? Hell yes! ;)
The original article was in the Army Times, though it appears to have been taken down (the link I had from before no longer works). It's been covered on CNN as well.
Army units are being called up and attached to Homeland Security in preparation for the upcoming elections. Reports from the people involved differ as to whether they're being tasked with anti-terror assignments or to potentially quell civil unrest regarding the election.
American troops on a "peace-keeping" mission in the US. To quote Jack Cafferty, "if that doesn't scare the hell out of you I don't know what will."
Remember when the Ol' Miss flooded several years back and then bam there were troops in black helicopters with sand bags making dams? That was the first widespread deployment of Black water in the US.
Would't surprise me if these peace keeping troops ar enot regular army. money knows knwo alegiance, but army folsk might be loathe to put down thier friends and neighbors.
love,
malkav
This has been your daily dose of conspiracy against the government and your dose of Daily Delusional Optimism.
GTFO off my lawn hippi~!
edit:@bat
Yes but how many of those troops are uniformed armay and how many are mercs?
Remember when the Ol' Miss flooded several years back and then bam there were troops in black helicopters with sand bags making dams? That was the first widespread deployment of Black water in the US.
Would't surprise me if these peace keeping troops ar enot regular army. money knows knwo alegiance, but army folsk might be loathe to put down thier friends and neighbors.
My impression from the article (which, I'd link to if it was still up) is that these are all uniformed American military. They're from a few specific units, mostly those with training and experience handling insurgents.
If I thought they were stationing Blackwater troops, I wouldn't be surfing the internet right now. I'd either be driving to Washington to protest or locating me some of those illegal firearms that are apparently so easy to come by in this city.
GTFO off my lawn hippi~!
edit:@bat
Are you sure it's still your lawn anymore? Looks like Uncle Sam might be taking it back. ;)
The original article was in the Army Times, though it appears to have been taken down (the link I had from before no longer works). It's been covered on CNN as well.
Army units are being called up and attached to Homeland Security in preparation for the upcoming elections. Reports from the people involved differ as to whether they're being tasked with anti-terror assignments or to potentially quell civil unrest regarding the election.
American troops on a "peace-keeping" mission in the US. To quote Jack Cafferty, "if that doesn't scare the hell out of you I don't know what will."
There was nothing in the article given beyond one man's interpretation of what he was given to read. And he read pretty damned deep into it. Nothing in the quoted orders even mentioned the election. This sounds like fearmongering to me and not much more. The elections are coming. So why not try to make Reps look worse? ;)
I could believe it a little easier if the word "elections" appeared outside of the commentary. I'd even be more apt to consider it if the training required to handle civil unrest didn't also apply to more things than protesting - such as the rampant panic after a terrorist attack or the rampant looting after a hurricane. Hurricanes are something Bush took a hit on. Why not hedge your bets with more internal support when the election happens in the middle of hurricane season? Terrorism and hurricanes were, by the way, mentioned in that article.
Bush is a jackass that's capable of a lot of things. In this case, there's just not enough evidence to support anything beyond a guess. And, a guess here qualifies as a conspiracy theory. Hell, there's actual conspiracy theories with more evidence than this. Not to say that I won't be keeping my eye on this now. It certainly has the potential to be bad. But, from what we've been looking at, it is by no means more than a guess. If someone without Bush's pedigry of moronic behavior would have done the same, would this even be a discussion? Some of it, no doubt. But the certainty this is being seen with does owe something to Bush. That can mean two things. One, it's right to assume he's got something terrible planned. And two, it's as innocent as it can be and it's being judged more harshly than it should be because Bush's name is attached to it. Since we can't know for sure, it's just a conspiracy theory. Hopefully. :D
There was nothing in the article given beyond one man's interpretation of what he was given to read. And he read pretty damned deep into it. Nothing in the quoted orders even mentioned the election. This sounds like fearmongering to me and not much more. The elections are coming. So why not try to make Reps look worse? ;)
That entry was just the first thing that came up on a quick google search. In no way am I basing my statements here on that individual's take on the situation. He simply had excerpts from the text, and I was using that to prove that I wasn't just pulling this out of nowhere.
I could believe it a little easier if the word "elections" appeared outside of the commentary. I'd even be more apt to consider it if the training required to handle civil unrest didn't also apply to more things than protesting - such as the rampant panic after a terrorist attack or the rampant looting after a hurricane. Hurricanes are something Bush took a hit on. Why not hedge your bets with more internal support when the election happens in the middle of hurricane season? Terrorism and hurricanes were, by the way, mentioned in that article.
The Army Times article (and the subsequent coverage on CNN) specifically mentioned the extra troops as being related to the elections.
Bush is a jackass that's capable of a lot of things. In this case, there's just not enough evidence to support anything beyond a guess. And, a guess here qualifies as a conspiracy theory. Hell, there's actual conspiracy theories with more evidence than this. Not to say that I won't be keeping my eye on this now. It certainly has the potential to be bad. But, from what we've been looking at, it is by no means more than a guess. If someone without Bush's pedigry of moronic behavior would have done the same, would this even be a discussion? Some of it, no doubt. But the certainty this is being seen with does owe something to Bush. That can mean two things. One, it's right to assume he's got something terrible planned. And two, it's as innocent as it can be and it's being judged more harshly than it should be because Bush's name is attached to it. Since we can't know for sure, it's just a conspiracy theory. Hopefully. :D
I just saw it yesterday (before the article was taken off the net, I don't subscribe to the publication myself) and thought it was worth bringing up. You don't call up anti-insurgent military forces unless you're expecting an "insurgency" on some level. This isn't a situation where the Reserves are being called up to fill sandbags or help with evacuations; this is a concious move to allow for the use of military force.
I'm definitely going to be keeping my eye on it. It's something that's happening below the radar with the elections, and it's military action on American soil. That sends up all sorts of flags for me.
The Hardon Collider is a malevolent piece of equipment the government is working on. Why would they need to recreate the big bang? This is not to learn, this is to threaten. They want a weapon that could destroy the whole world, maybe even the whole universe if we don't heed their word as law and worship them as though they were a god..
The Hadrian Particle Reactor did indeed create a black hole in the core of the Earth. Earth has less than four years of existence. The Illuminati then began to unravel the world's economy in order to a) distract people from the terrible truth, and b) afford all the material and components (sold dirt cheap from collapsing world-powers) necessary to build a spaceship for the Illuminati to find a sustainable planet. Again.
Hadron. Large Hadron Collider.
Hardon... sounds like something that shouldn't be discussed on these forums and Hadrian was a Roman Emperor who built a wall in England. :P
Back to the topic at hand:
HIV was introduced to Africa by the US government in polio vaccines. Or it was introduced to the US by the republican government to get rid of homosexuals and drug users.
Drug companies have medicines that will cure all cancer but won't release them because they won't make as much money on a single does drug as they do on extended treatment drugs.
That entry was just the first thing that came up on a quick google search. In no way am I basing my statements here on that individual's take on the situation. He simply had excerpts from the text, and I was using that to prove that I wasn't just pulling this out of nowhere.
The thing is, those excerpts do not mention the election at all. Look, I trust what you have to say - even though you're a Dem lover. :D I'm just trying to keep all of this in perspective. The proof we've been given is an article that voices one man's unfounded extrapolations and word of a mystery article that has disappeared. Not that I doubt it, but it is kinda like sayin' ya' saw a man on the grassy knoll. ;)
The Army Times article (and the subsequent coverage on CNN) specifically mentioned the extra troops as being related to the elections.
I just saw it yesterday (before the article was taken off the net, I don't subscribe to the publication myself) and thought it was worth bringing up. You don't call up anti-insurgent military forces unless you're expecting an "insurgency" on some level. This isn't a situation where the Reserves are being called up to fill sandbags or help with evacuations; this is a concious move to allow for the use of military force.
I did a ton of searching and was unable to find anything. Still, this is something good to be aware of.
I'm definitely going to be keeping my eye on it. It's something that's happening below the radar with the elections, and it's military action on American soil. That sends up all sorts of flags for me.
Yeah, it's something we should look at. I still doubt it's as insidious as it sounds, but with that moron in office who knows?
The thing is, those excerpts do not mention the election at all. Look, I trust what you have to say - even though you're a Dem lover. :D I'm just trying to keep all of this in perspective. The proof we've been given is an article that voices one man's unfounded extrapolations and word of a mystery article that has disappeared. Not that I doubt it, but it is kinda like sayin' ya' saw a man on the grassy knoll. ;)
I read the Army Times article while the link was still good. It didn't mention using the units being trained in domestic peace-keeping during the election* process. It did however, mention using them as a back-up for police forces if they become overwhelmed during civil unrest.
The implications of using the US Army in a peace-keeping role within the United States was certainly enough to cause the Army to take the article down. The bulk of the article was about a unit being stood down from it's operations in Iraq and being transferred to the US for retraining in a domestic policing role. The story was about the stand-down, not the retraining.
The self-censorship on the part of Army Times was probably due to the possible backlash within the community in regard to the possible abuses of authority that it would hint at. The fact that it alarmed so many in the short time that it was posted is proof they were probably right in their actions.
* If I recall correctly, the unit just demobilized and won't be trained in it's new auxiliary role until late in the next year. I'm working from memory, but if I recall correctly, after leave, required maintenance of equipment, reinforcement to get the unit up to it's full muster and redeployment to it's training facility, it will be up to par in it's secondary role in 8-12 months.
Interesting. Thanks for the info.
My question is why would the army be willing to reverse almost 90 years of staying out of this role all of the sudden. Since the incidents in Washington with the veterans from WW I the army has been quite adamant that this is the role of the National Guard and the Army's only use is in the fighting of wars on foreign soil and defending the US from outside invasion. I have to wonder if this isn't a foreshadowing of something far worse.
My question is why would the army be willing to reverse almost 90 years of staying out of this role all of the sudden. Since the incidents in Washington with the veterans from WW I the army has been quite adamant that this is the role of the National Guard and the Army's only use is in the fighting of wars on foreign soil and defending the US from outside invasion. I have to wonder if this isn't a foreshadowing of something far worse.
Hmm. Good point. The military is fiercely competitive in it's roles. Each branch has a job and likes to keep it that way. Sometimes, though, they attempt to take more roles from other branches. The Air Force vs Navy during nuke policy dev springs to mind immediately. I honestly doubt that the Army would be after the Coasties' role, though. Certainly something to watch closely. I'll be joining you and Batshido in your vigil. :D
I honestly doubt that the Army would be after the Coasties' role, though. Certainly something to watch closely. I'll be joining you and Batshido in your vigil. :D
Not the Coasties, the weekend warriors.
And even the National Guard defers to the governor and the local police in their role during national disaster and civil unrest. This would be the army taking a proactive role and taking control of the situation away from the local government. To say that it needs to be watched closely is an understatement.
Not the Coasties, the weekend warriors.
And even the National Guard defers to the governor and the local police in their role during national disaster and civil unrest. This would be the army taking a proactive role and taking control of the situation away from the local government. To say that it needs to be watched closely is an understatement.
True. I'll be watching. And keeping my (very small) arsenal in good repair. ;)
(Though I actually think it's true)
All seven of the inhabitants were dead when the Air Force arrived at the scene.
By order of the Illuminatus Society, secret shadow government of the world, the bodies and the remains of the craft were taken to the then secret Air Force base at Groom Lake. There to be concealed from the general public, indefinitely.
Roughly 14 years later...
JFK, newly elected president, meets Marilyn Monroe at a a social gala.
They hit it off, and soon afterwards she becomes his primary Mistress.
Things between them soon become serious.
As a show of good faith, JFK revealed a number of state secrets to Marilyn.
Among these was the existence of the aliens at area 51.
In or about March of 1962, Marilyn was secretly with JFK while he was on a business trip, and as a treat, he took her to see the remains at the base.
This, in the opinion of the Illuminati, was an unforgivable breach of security.
They ordered JFK and his brother Robert to Kill her.
JFK refused, under the belief that he could protect her.
The Illuminati forced Robert Kennedy to kill Marilyn.
Then, they arranged the assassination of JFK, as punishment for defying them.
Later, after John's death, Robert began to have second thoughts, and was preparing to reveal things to the world.
Thus, the Illuminati arranged his death too.
What if haven´t it been a accident, but a covered killing?
In 1947, an alien spacecraft crashed in Roswell, New Mexico.
All seven of the inhabitants were dead when the Air Force arrived at the scene.
By order of the Illuminatus Society, secret shadow government of the world, the bodies and the remains of the craft were taken to the then secret Air Force base at Groom Lake. There to be concealed from the general public, indefinitely.
Roughly 14 years later...
JFK, newly elected president, meets Marilyn Monroe at a a social gala.
They hit it off, and soon afterwards she becomes his primary Mistress.
Things between them soon become serious.
As a show of good faith, JFK revealed a number of state secrets to Marilyn.
Among these was the existence of the aliens at area 51.
In or about March of 1962, Marilyn was secretly with JFK while he was on a business trip, and as a treat, he took her to see the remains at the base.
This, in the opinion of the Illuminati, was an unforgivable breach of security.
They ordered JFK and his brother Robert to Kill her.
JFK refused, under the belief that he could protect her.
The Illuminati forced Robert Kennedy to kill Marilyn.
Then, they arranged the assassination of JFK, as punishment for defying them.
Later, after John's death, Robert began to have second thoughts, and was preparing to reveal things to the world.
Thus, the Illuminati arranged his death too.
With conspiracy theories like this one there's a question that always springs to my mind:
If they're so secret, great and they rule the world, how come you know about this? ;)
With conspiracy theories like this one there's a question that always springs to my mind:
If they're so secret, great and they rule the world, how come you know about this? ;)
My father, being a Republican AND having government security clearance, receives their weekly news letter. This was in the Christmas card last year.
Okay, Another theory about the JFK assassination.
In October of 1962, America faced a crisis. Sites, apparently for Nuclear missile launch facilities, were being cleared and constructed in Cuba, with aid from Soviet military agents.
JFK's cabinet and advisers pushed for air strikes against these provocative locations, to prevent the USSR from having nuclear missiles in the USA's backyard, so to speak.
Kennedy refused, and resolved the situation in a peaceful yet firm manner, and avoided starting a war.
And this was what got him killed.
The leaders of the Democratic party WANTED to start a war. They could see the economy slipping, and new that shifting the country to a war economy and war production would stimulate flagging industries. They were so convinced, and so invested in the concept of starting a war, that when JFK adamantly refused to knowingly start a war, they decided to remove him.
They gave him a chance with Cuba, and he stood fast.
So, a little over a year later, a group of CIA assassins, in the employee of Lindon B. Johnson and the heads of the Democratic Party, set up fall guy Lee Harvey Oswald in the Book depository, while they stationed themselves in a dozen buildings, and on the grassy knoll.
The CIA, acting on orders from Kennedy's own VP and Cabinet, Killed him.
Aliens are among us, and want to control our minds.
They built a giant Mind control satellite, but it's poorly tuned.
So, at the moment they are trying to control us with misinformation.
They place lies into the media, so they become 'common knowledge'.
In truth, wrapping your head in foil is like putting foil on your TV antenna. It doesn't block the signal, it improves reception.
If you wear a foil hat, the aliens can control your mind.
I know, because I can hear the transmissions on my mercury based fillings.
My father, being a Republican AND having government security clearance, receives their weekly news letter. This was in the Christmas card last year.
Okay, Another theory about the JFK assassination.
In October of 1962, America faced a crisis. Sites, apparently for Nuclear missile launch facilities, were being cleared and constructed in Cuba, with aid from Soviet military agents.
JFK's cabinet and advisers pushed for air strikes against these provocative locations, to prevent the USSR from having nuclear missiles in the USA's backyard, so to speak.
Kennedy refused, and resolved the situation in a peaceful yet firm manner, and avoided starting a war.
And this was what got him killed.
The leaders of the Democratic party WANTED to start a war. They could see the economy slipping, and new that shifting the country to a war economy and war production would stimulate flagging industries. They were so convinced, and so invested in the concept of starting a war, that when JFK adamantly refused to knowingly start a war, they decided to remove him.
They gave him a chance with Cuba, and he stood fast.
So, a little over a year later, a group of CIA assassins, in the employee of Lindon B. Johnson and the heads of the Democratic Party, set up fall guy Lee Harvey Oswald in the Book depository, while they stationed themselves in a dozen buildings, and on the grassy knoll.
The CIA, acting on orders from Kennedy's own VP and Cabinet, Killed him.
In the same newsletter? It will be Jewish Pope next.
This was part of a Black Ops program involved in playing off Commonwealth States World Wide for US interests - breaking up a World Spanning Commonwealth.
My father, being a Republican AND having government security clearance, receives their weekly news letter. This was in the Christmas card last year.
Now this breaks my heart! My husband and I are both Republicans, and he has some decent government security clearance. We don't get a newsletter OR a Christmas card! Now I have to arrange something diabolical and sneaky...
Now this breaks my heart! My husband and I are both Republicans, and he has some decent government security clearance. We don't get a newsletter OR a Christmas card! Now I have to arrange something diabolical and sneaky...
Sometimes it is best to maintain plausible deniability...
Now this breaks my heart! My husband and I are both Republicans, and he has some decent government security clearance. We don't get a newsletter OR a Christmas card! Now I have to arrange something diabolical and sneaky...
Ah, but which government? :P
HIV was introduced to Africa by the US government in polio vaccines. Or it was introduced to the US by the republican government to get rid of homosexuals and drug users.
My favorite conspiracy theory, not because it is or isn't likely, just would make a good sci fi novel.
If you wear a foil hat, the aliens can control your mind.
No, no, no. You put the foil in your underpants, it grounds out the signal in your genitalia and causes them to receive really screwy return signals.
Through a combination of Drugs and Brainwashing, they forced him to help them create a functional Time Machine.
Hitler and his men then traveled to the year 3000, to steal super advanced weapons technology in order to conquer the world and realize their goal of world domination.
However, after they moved forward, they discovered that traveling BACKWARDS in time was impossible, except on a sub-quantum scale.
They are now stuck in the future, where, when they reappear, they will be instantly arrested by the forces of the United Israeli Empire.
I don't suppose it would have been difficult to kidnap Einstein in '63 - considering he died in '55. Just get a shovel and start diggin'. :D
It would be difficult for Hitler to do a kidnapping in '63 seeing as he died in '45.
It would be difficult for Hitler to do a kidnapping in '63 seeing as he died in '45.
True. :D I chose my angle of attack because there's far less controversy surrounding the death of Einstein. Last I checked, there were no sketchy Stalin-era Soviets pickin' through a devastated bunker in search of skull fragments in a shallow grave containing a badly burnt corpse in his case. ;)
True. :D I chose my angle of attack because there's far less controversy surrounding the death of Einstein. Last I checked, there were no sketchy Stalin-era Soviets pickin' through a devastated bunker in search of skull fragments in a shallow grave containing a badly burnt corpse in his case. ;)
If Soviets wanted someone dead, they'd have to be pope to survive.
until the US could not identify him on the radar and he did not respond on radio and they sploded him.
The Wallstreet crashed...
It was not the Bailout package!
I don't suppose it would have been difficult to kidnap Einstein in '63 - considering he died in '55. Just get a shovel and start diggin'. :D
1963, what 1963? I don't know what you're talking about.
You must be crazy.
I certainly didn't change my post either.
You crazy.
It would be difficult for Hitler to do a kidnapping in '63 seeing as he died in '45.
Allegedly!
Hitler, allegedly died in 1945.
However, we know, in a NOT CRAZY CONSPIRACY way that Hitler had a number of body doubles.
We also know that Hitler was a Vegan (though they weren't distinguished from vegetarians at that point).
His body doubles generally weren't.
The bones of strict vegetarians and vegans have a distinct color difference from the bones of people who eat a diet high in meat.
The bones of the "Hitler" recovered from the bunker were not consistent with the bones of a Vegan.
Ergo, the Hitler recovered from the bunker was NOT the real Adolf Hitler.
He escaped several weeks before hand, flying out in the cover of night, and with the help of Odessa and his gestapo and SS agents, escaped to Argentina, where they established a new secret headquarters.
And then, in 1955, Kidnapped Einstein and faked his death.
QED
And then, in 1955, Kidnapped Einstein and faked his death.
So they could kidnap him again in '63?
And then, in 1955, Kidnapped Einstein and faked his death.
Bollocks.
We all know Einstein is still held in a secret section of Guantanamo because of his politicals views. The FBI kidnapped him from the Princeton hospital where he allegeadly finished his life.
He is now maintained artificially alive and conscious to finish is ultimate weapon: a Higgs annihilator.
There is only one question: who's brain where we studying for more then fifty years?
1963, what 1963? I don't know what you're talking about.
You must be crazy.
I certainly didn't change my post either.
You crazy.
New conspiracy theory: Tiwaz changes his posts to adjust his arguments to seem more plausible. The bastard.
And now for some real news ...
Hitler may have been vegan, but he was also a coke-head. Prescription coke. And he injected it. Or did he? ;) It's widely known that the "cocaine" injections Hitler was given did not actually contain coke, but nano-tech AI robots that eventually lead to his complete collapse. These were provided by one of the many spirits he consulted with during his occult research. The medium was contacted by the spirit after a session and told how to construct these mini-bots and where Hitler's doctor generally had coffee in the morning while reading his Narcotics Weekly Digest. The spirit instructed the medium to begin a homosexual relationship with this doctor. And to take pictures. With this evidence of "depravity" on film, the doctor was forced to comply with the medium's wishes that he inject Hitler with the hot-dose of nano-bots. Once done, it was only a short matter of time before Hitler completely lost his mind. Sounds incredible, I know, but it's a fact.
Only very recently did this story come to light. During one of Tom Cruise's deluded speeches, he accidentally let this slip out. And, more importantly, he revealed who this benevolent spirit was - L. Ron Hubbard. That's right, the spirit was none other than the founder of the only true religion, Scientology. Or was it? ;) After leaking this information, the Church had Tom Cruise castrated as punushment. How could L. Ron's spirit save the world in the '40s when he was actually alive during that time? It couldn't! So, that means that the esteemed Mr Hubbard wasn't actually the founder of Scientology! He was merely a conduit for this benevolent spirit that saved the world in the '40s. Why? He was inhabited to save the world again. Too many false religions were constructed by the aliens to distract us from their true goal - to make us suffer. So, this benevolent spirit inhabited Hubbard, created the only true religion and taught it's most devout the secret to dealing with these alien punks. That's right, nano-tech. And that, friends, is why Scientology is the only true religion. It uses nano-tech to remove the aliens from us to free us completely from suffering! For the right price. ;)
Once Mr Cruise let this slip, it weakened the base of Scientology. People that thought L. Ron was their savior found that this was not the case. More research was done into who this spirit - the real founder of Scientology (the one true religion) - could be. As you may have guessed by now, the research lead these people of floundering belief to the true identity of the spirit. That's right, none other than John Wilkes Booth (you can see the problem this revalation caused, no?). Or was it? ;)
I'd tell you more, but I have said too much already. I think I hear someone sneaking around my mansion as we speak. I had better get out of here. They've already castrated me and we all know what's next! Farewell, friends. I hope your life is easier than mine and hope that you truly understand what I have done for you and humanity as a whole. I am truly a great man. Well, I was a man. Now I'm a great Eunuch, I guess. No matter. Keep up the fight for truth! Tom Cruise ... out!
That's right, nano-tech. And that, friends, is why Scientology is the only true religion. It uses nano-tech to remove the aliens from us to free us completely from suffering! For the right price. ;)
I wonder what do aliens need our money for. I know Mars Needs Women, but money, especially now?
Hilter got syphilis from a Jewish prostitute and the Holocaust was a combination of him going crazy from the arsenic, mercury and lead used to treat it and his desire for revenge on Jewish prostitutes.
He should have know to use protection.
They each have absolute power.
They each are completely unaware of the other two.
Show
There are no conspiracies.
The Ultimate Conspiracy theory?ShowThere are no conspiracies.
@ Paul_Proffesion_Baker: So how long till you and your allies conquer all of us?
@ Zombie Babies: No, you're a figment of your own imagination.
@ Zombie Babies: No, you're a figment of your own imagination.
Ha! I scoff in your general (and quite imaginary) direction! *scoffs*
Ha! I scoff in your general (and quite imaginary) direction! *scoffs*
All matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration and we are all one consciousness adhering itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death. Life is but a dream, and we are the imaginations of ourselves. Now here's Tom with weather...
Thanks, Bob, now , as you can see from the chart we have alien activity coming in from the north which should produce a few showers of mind altering substances, while over in the west there's a hobo in a lean to who is actually running the world through the vatican and OPEC at the same time. Back to you, Bob.
Read the truth and fear your doom!
The Truth
Show
Where is Sarah Connor
Read the truth and fear your doom!
The Truth
Anyone who claims to know the truth, doesn't.
@ Ocarina Guy: I knew you weren't human! You were too. . .different. TELL ME WHERE YOUR ALLIES ARE NOW, AND I'LL KILL YOU! (oops. I meant 'or' I'll kill you. Yes just believe that :D )
I'm not allowed to make suicidal decisions. Not since they left me alone with nothing to entertain myself but a fork, a toaster, a gnome, and a large quantity of napalm. And that's why there are no more gnomes.
@ Paul_Proffesion_Baker: So how long till you and your allies conquer all of us?
We will never conquer you. But the ecosystem from the couch is much more belligerent then us. You should maybe eradicate it to protect yourselfs? We are much more wiser then them. We know our ecosystem depends on two inputs: 1) the warmth provided by the electricity in the keyboard and 2) the skin cells and other biological matter from our beloved jerk. We would never bite the hand that feeds us.
If our intel is right, the couch ecosystem is much more belligerent because you periodically steal the metallic discs it loves so much. Beware the couch ecosystem.
The real threat are the dryer gnomes. They steal your socks, and eat the shinies.
We are belligerent because we have spent our entire existence waging war against the dryer gnomes. Wouldn't you be irritable if your entire existence was wasted on war?
I am so glad I started this thread.
Wait. You actually believe you started this thread? Ha! ;)
Wait. You actually believe you started this thread? Ha! ;)
Wait, you mean the aliens were controlling me and made me start this?! NO! DAMMIT! I knew I should have worn my tinfoil underwear to screw up their signals...
Wait, you mean the aliens were controlling me and made me start this?! NO! DAMMIT! I knew I should have worn my tinfoil underwear to screw up their signals...
It's hard to be sure. Between the aliens, the keyboard thingies and the couch whatevers, there are many possible mind controllers. But, since everything is just in my head anyway, I guess it's my fault. Sorry. I'll try not to make you do this again.
It's your imaginary dryer gnomes.. it's them! I swear it!
It's certainly possible. Those buggers are crafty. Hell, I never even knew I was imagining something like that until the voices in my head started posting in this thread. Thank the Alien Overlord for small favors, no?
Gods....NO! I failed my sanity check!
No. No you didn't. You're still perfectly sane. Honest. And you will remain so until I decide otherwise.
It's certainly possible. Those buggers are crafty. Hell, I never even knew I was imagining something like that until the voices in my head started posting in this thread. Thank the Alien Overlord for small favors, no?
No. No you didn't. You're still perfectly sane. Honest. And you will remain so until I decide otherwise.
They are so crafty they can escape the confines of your imagination. Be watchful O' Zombie Babies the next time a sock goes missing it is probably them unfurling the next stage of their plan!
No. No you didn't. You're still perfectly sane. Honest. And you will remain so until I decide otherwise.
Then why am I running around my house naked, covered in green jell-o, juggling knives, and listening to Metallica's new music? That doesn't seem like a sane person to me. Who, in their right mind would listen to Metallica's new crap? The jello and knives might be explainable, but not the last part. All of you drove me insane. I figured this would happen when I started the thread though.
We the couch whatevers apologize.
They are so crafty they can escape the confines of your imagination. Be watchful O' Zombie Babies the next time a sock goes missing it is probably them unfurling the next stage of their plan!
You (I mean "I" when I say that, right?) really think that's possible? I (we?) better watch out then, I (you?) guess. Though most of my (my?) socks are imaginary - as are most things, really - so it may not be too much of an issue. If unimaginary sock gnomes steal imaginary socks, what's the real harm? ;)
Then why am I running around my house naked, covered in green jell-o, juggling knives, and listening to Metallica's new music? That doesn't seem like a sane person to me. Who, in their right mind would listen to Metallica's new crap? The jello and knives might be explainable, but not the last part. All of you drove me insane. I figured this would happen when I started the thread though.
Hmm. You may actually be more than an imagined voice. I doubt I'd ever let something as abysmally awful as a new Metallica song anywhere near my beloved mind kingdom. Unless those damned crafty gnomes escaped my mind into reality, went to the 12th layer of Hell, bought a new Metallica CD from the gigantic $hit demon (who else would have one?) and then smuggled it - and themselves - back into my imagination to force you to listen to it, of course. Hmm. Which is it? Going by Occam's Razor, I must conclude it is the latter. It is a far, far simpler answer than someone else actually existing outside of the reality I've created for all of my pets inside of my squishy, squishy brain. At least I know what those damned gnomes are up to now ...
It's the internet's fault!
This confirms it. I imagined the internet. And then I imagined Al Gore invented it. But, even as I was imagining that, I knew better. And then I imagined something else. I think.
This confirms it. I imagined the internet. And then I imagined Al Gore invented it. But, even as I was imagining that, I knew better. And then I imagined something else. I think.
Wait...that means you imagined Metallica, and how they would suck....IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU ARE THE REASON THAT METALLICA BLOWS!
Just so we're all clear, I didn't buy it. I was on pandora.com and was listening to some music, and it suddenly puts metallica's new music on. I listened to the whole song, foolishly hoping it would get better. It didn't. However, I now know just how bad they truly suck. It's the internet's fault!
Some part of your innocence (imaginary or no) has died this day... we will slaughter many gnomes to avenge your loss.
Damn.. bane beat me to the metallica being Zb's fault... damn you ninjas! *falls over holding guts inside*
Some part of your innocence (imaginary or no) has died this day... we will slaughter many gnomes to avenge your loss.
Damn.. bane beat me to the metallica being Zb's fault... damn you ninjas! *falls over holding guts inside*
My innocence died a long time ago. When I was 12, part of it died. Then I found Stickdeath. And South Park. My innocence is long dead, and I am glad for that. No longer will people refer to me as a little kid! No longer will I be the butt of jokes I don't understand! DEATH TO INNOCENCE! And Metallica killed part of my sanity, not my innocence.
You have taken your first step into the world of Forbidden Lore with this Metallica Cd.
Wait...that means you imagined Metallica, and how they would suck....IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU ARE THE REASON THAT METALLICA BLOWS!
Meh, not all of my creations can be gold. And what kind of world would I have created for myself if everything was good? Something has to suck to let the good shine, no? Luckily, Metallica was down for this job since about '91. ;)
I was about to suggest .5 cent to suck worse than he does...
I thought that was impossible. But 50 cent could reach a new low. It's not impossible.
I thought that was impossible. But 50 cent could reach a new low. It's not impossible.
After all nothing is truly impossible... just varying degrees of possible.
Why couldn't it be something else that could suck even worse, like 2pac or Celly Cel? Or Andre Nickatina? If you make Static-X start to suck, or In Flames, or Children of Bodom, or any other awesome group, my zombie-vampire-pirate-ninjas will come to kill you.
Correction. My zombie-vampire-pirate-ninjas. You have them at my leisure. I really need to remember to make you remember that you are figment of my imagination - like everything else. Except for sock gnomes - occasionally. I guess.
Correction. My zombie-vampire-pirate-ninjas. You have them at my leisure. I really need to remember to make you remember that you are figment of my imagination - like everything else. Except for sock gnomes - occasionally. I guess.
No. We are all figments of our OWN imaginations. So you imagine yourself, just like I imagine myself. When people die, that's when they realize that they don't really exist.
No. We are all figments of our OWN imaginations. So you imagine yourself, just like I imagine myself. When people die, that's when they realize that they don't really exist.
I'm not too certain about that. I'll have one of my imaginary people look into it and get back to you, though. As a sign of good faith to one of my creations, of course. :P
I'm not too certain about that. I'll have one of my imaginary people look into it and get back to you, though. As a sign of good faith to one of my creations, of course. :P
your people are not trustworthy sources. And I am NOTyour creation.
Being that you are one of my people, it seems you have some self-esteem issues. I'll imagine someone over for you in a bit.
And I am NOTyour creation.
And delusional. Hmm. You may be too far gone to salvage now. I may just have to stop imagining you ...
Don't you see? Your creation is rebelling! Aw ****. I just admitted I was your creation. Ah well. I give up.
Funny, this conversation is going just as I imagined it would. Imagine that. ;)
If Obama wins, they have two defensible positions:
a) in case of economic recovery, Republicans claim victory by trumpeting their proposal, initiated by Republican President Bush, was responsible, thus setting the tone for the 2012 elections: "We had the plan, the Democrats had no plan"
b) in case of further economic hardship, Republicans claim the Democrats stole $700 billion needlessly from the American electorate with the bail-out that the majority of Republicans voted against as fiscal conservatives, thus setting the tone for the 2012 election: "We voted against it, it's not OUR fault."
c) in either case, the Republicans paint the Democrats as 'tax and spend liberals' for the likely tax increases the next President will have to implement in order to offset the billions of dollars being spent now.
"Ingenious."
It's certainly possible. Those buggers are crafty. Hell, I never even knew I was imagining something like that until the voices in my head started posting in this thread. Thank the Alien Overlord for small favors, no?
You're very welcome.
You're very welcome.
There you are! Good to see you again. How's the Overlordin' been going?
Legally.
The US government planned 9/11.
And the vis-versa, the government propagates that it did plan it (they didn't) to make people believe that the government was all powerful and the people should just be submissive to it.
I prefer the latter....wait, did I think that? Hmmm whos in my mind with me???? ah its those damn illithids "YOU GET OUT....
Heh heh...heh. *Hides crowbar and other supplies from view*
Hmm, I never saw this one in there...
The US government planned 9/11.
Yeah, too easy and too many people believe it for that one. That's like saying "the CIA killed Kenedy". When the percentage of people that believe it rises past 10% it's no fun as a conspiracy theory.
Now back to your regularly scheduled thread. Mind your foil, it's gonna get probed pretty hard tonight.....
Obama is a chosen of Tzeench. It's pretty obvious when you think about it. Hope and Change? Clearly the markings of a Tzeenchian.
Alternatively Obama is one of Nyarlathoteps's masks.
McCain is chosen by Nurgle.
-Joni
Then who is Khorne and Slannesh?
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Thank you, Question
Morticians and gravediggers trap them in wooden boxes or incinerate them to ensure that their experience and wisdom isn't passed down to following generations.
After a while the undead get bored and start to entertain themselves with thought exercises. In doing so they eventually convince themselves that undeath isn't real and they don't exist. In only a decade an undead will convince itself it isn't real and without frail bodily functions to prove its own existence to it, ceases to exist.
That's right, Morticians and gravediggers are killing your ancestors souls to ensure that you're still struggling with the problems they had already figured out how to solve.
How about the "magic bullet" theory. I've seen a recreation of the JFK assassination on the Discovery Channel quite a while back. They spent most of the time on the special running through the details needed to recreate the shooting and physically redid the shot. The target point was missed by an inch or so and all but one of the wounds where replaced with one bullet. In the end the bullet bounced off the analog for the leg instead of embedding it in, but the bullet lost energy by cracking two of the rib analogs instead of one like in the original shooting.
Yeah, once again, this one is just a bit too widespread to even bother with. Now unless you're suggesting that space aliens were controlling the shooters...
Someone invented an ultra fuel efficient engine and the oil companies bought it and buried it in the desert.
That sounds highly plausible. It has probably happened on a number of occasions.
Then who is Khorne and Slannesh?
Khorne: This one is easy, Dick Cheney. He venerates cold-blooded warfare of long-range mass murder, a facet of Khorne’s love of blood that more… human followers couldn't grasp.
Slaanesh: Slaanesh has multiple Champions; Bill Clinton, Larry Craig, Ted Haggard (Do I need to explain this one?), L. Ron Hubbard, Mark Foley.
-Joni
Khorne: This one is easy, Dick Cheney. He venerates cold-blooded warfare of long-range mass murder, a facet of Khorne’s love of blood that more… human followers couldn't grasp.
Slaanesh: Slaanesh has multiple Champions; Bill Clinton, Larry Craig, Ted Haggard (Do I need to explain this one?), L. Ron Hubbard, Mark Foley.
-Joni
So...who are Gork, Mork, the Laughing God, and the Immortal Emperor of Mankind?
So...who are Gork, Mork, the Laughing God, and the Immortal Emperor of Mankind?
Gork and Mork: Bill O'Reilly and Keith Olbermann
The Laughing God: Either Conan O'Brien or Stephen Colbert. Possibly both at once.
The God Emperor of Mankind: Had they put Pope John Paul II on life support... But apart from him we have His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Papa Ratz (A pope who looks like Darth Sidious [also an emperor] and used to lead the inquisition? Grimdark.). Obama is also a candidate for being the God Emperor of Mankind.
-Joni
The Nightbringer: Dick Cheney again. If we go further back in time any genocidal dictator will do.
The Deceiver: Fox News
Malal: Richard Dawkins.
Squats: I don
-Joni
The God Emperor of Mankind: Also includes Urho Kaleva Kekkonen as potential candidate.
The Deceiver: Replace Fox News with Rupert Murdoch.
-Joni
That sounds highly plausible. It has probably happened on a number of occasions.
Huh, they would be better off destroying it, not burying it.
I would have made them get into a bidding war with auto makers.
Or released the patent.
On another related one.
Remember a attempt at electric cars from a little while back. Auto companies leased them out, then prevented people from actually buying them, and destroyed them in a desert facility. Then discontinued the line because they said they wouldn't sell.
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This one is actually true. OX=
*with how much they love Obama, its hard to deny.
Oh, and here's the motherload.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_conspiracy_theories
Khorne: This one is easy, Dick Cheney. He venerates cold-blooded warfare of long-range mass murder, a facet of Khorne’s love of blood that more… human followers couldn't grasp.
Slaanesh: Slaanesh has multiple Champions; Bill Clinton, Larry Craig, Ted Haggard (Do I need to explain this one?), L. Ron Hubbard, Mark Foley.
-Joni
Even Khorne's daemon followers consist of KILL!!MAIM!!BURN!!
Yeah, once again, this one is just a bit too widespread to even bother with. Now unless you're suggesting that space aliens were controlling the shooters...
CIA conspiracy thoeries have a limited lifespan due to the declassification of documents.
The CIA gave LSD to unsuspecting victims and later to college students. That was a great, unlikely conspiracy theory, except that now we know it's true.
You can look up declassified documents on the CIA website (cia.com) or, if you're US citizens, in your local public library (I think).
here are some pretty wild true stories out there and they beat the conspiracy theories by a mile for weirdness and unpleasantness.
here are some pretty wild true stories out there and they beat the conspiracy theories by a mile for weirdness and unpleasantness.
Yeah, take a look at Operations Mongoose and Northwoods. You'll get a giggle or a you'll be scared out of your wits. It's a bit of a Wag the Dog issue...
There's another conspiracy theory that goes about the same for cancer.
Someone invented an ultra fuel efficient engine and the oil companies bought it and buried it in the desert.
I once sat next to a guy on a plane who claimed to be the inventor of one such thing. He said he received a threatening letter telling him to stop the research sent by a variety of oil companies.
Telling them to get stuffed, they stole his engine and told him not to build another if he wanted his family to remain alive.
Pretty cool story actually, at least if it's untrue, if it's true, then y'know, oil companies suck.
I once sat next to a guy on a plane who claimed to be the inventor of one such thing. He said he received a threatening letter telling him to stop the research sent by a variety of oil companies.
Telling them to get stuffed, they stole his engine and told him not to build another if he wanted his family to remain alive.
Pretty cool story actually, at least if it's untrue, if it's true, then y'know, oil companies suck.
What you need is get as many believers of this theory as possible and storm those companies to find out.
Hey, maybe Obama was hiding such engine, so now he will show what kind of "change" he was thinking about...
The Bermuda Triangle holds a portal to an alien planet, from which their boats and airplanes also disappear into our planet, which are the source of UFO sightings and encounters of the third (fourth AND fifth) kind.
I actually used a campaign world as the destination. There were these USAF guys just hanging out with the dwarves. The party also travelled to the US to track down an evil cleric who'd set himself up as a TV evangelist.
Church's Chicken makes black people sterile.
being are paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you...
it just means you always get the wrong 'they'.
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I am not as think you drunk I am.
The LHC, when it gets up to speed, will shift the poles of the earth.
They already shifted. They're just trying to use the LHC to shift them back before anyone notices. (And if anyone notices, they'll just blame it on the media)
It is not a trap
It is a trap
It is a trap
All matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration and we are all one consciousness adhering itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death. Life is but a dream, and we are the imaginations of ourselves. Now here's Tom with weather...
Bill Hicks is the greatest comedian of all time, period.