Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 evilleknight Dec 22, 2010 21:36:45	So, this is a game where the first poster, me in this case, posts a wish. The next poster corrupts the wish and then adds a wish of their own, so on and so forth. Someone could take my wish below and grant the wish with a twist that makes it not so good...and my wish is... I wish I had another gaming group to play 4e D&D with.
#2 toastedamphibian Dec 22, 2010 21:49:58	[Goldy, Boraxe, and Robin_Hoodlum locked with EvilleKnight in a room with only food, D&D gear, and a TV that only gets Fox News and CNN. Nothing else. Forever.] I wish someone would bring me a bagel.
#3 The-Mage-King Dec 22, 2010 22:02:35	A bagel appears over your head and lands on you. The problem is that it weighs 5 tons. I wish... That Wizards would wise up and start selling the reali (Read: 3.5) D&D books  again, and not that MMORPG 4th edition carp.
#4 toastedamphibian Dec 22, 2010 22:07:14	A bagel appears over your head and lands on you. The problem is that it weighs 5 tons. Bah! I wished for someone to bring me a bagle, not for a bagle to appear out of thin air above me.
#5 The-Mage-King Dec 22, 2010 22:13:52	Bah! I wished for someone to bring me a bagle, not for a bagle to appear out of thin air above me. Okay then... Your worst enemy brings you a bagle. Then he shoots you.
#6 evilleknight Dec 22, 2010 23:54:01	Wizards starts selling 3.5 D&D books but they are the size of a postage stamp. I wish for an unlimited amount of Taco Bell food.
#7 Ragnar_Lodbrok Dec 23, 2010 0:05:41	Isn't that already corrupted ? I wish I had voluntary telepathy with the ability to subtly influence peoples' thoughts.
#8 evilleknight Dec 23, 2010 0:20:15	Granted, but now all you can think about is wanting Taco Bell. I wish for world peace.
#9 DarkSkrypter Dec 23, 2010 0:24:08	Granted, though now all that everyone can think about are blueberries.(yes this is for the last two wishes, I'm that powerful) I wish for pancakes to go along with blueberries.
#10 toastedamphibian Dec 23, 2010 0:34:12	Bah! I wished for someone to bring me a bagle, not for a bagle to appear out of thin air above me. Okay then... Your worst enemy brings you a bagle. Then he shoots you. ... "So your wish happens, then soeone does something bad to you" counts as courrupting a wish? So, like, every response in the thread should just be "Your wish is granted, and then your worst enemy shoots you"? Weak.
#11 pluisjen Dec 23, 2010 2:36:57	I wish for pancakes to go along with blueberries. Done, blueberries now taste like maplesyrup. I wish that the waterdamage to my bedroom be undone...
#12 horvick Dec 23, 2010 5:33:27	The water damage is gone, now you can see the termite damage. I wish I had a new car.
#13 The-Mage-King Dec 23, 2010 10:05:51	Sadly, that falls into the "Impossible" section of the spell. This is the Off Topic Tavern, after all. I wish that I could find a rewarding and highly paid job with no downsides, like being in the frozen north or something.
#14 pluisjen Dec 23, 2010 10:10:27	Granted, you now have to work for 15 minutes a day, you have the best job in the world and it's so awesome that anything you can do in your freetime is boring as hell in comparison. And there's no need for overtime. I wish people would stop being stupid.
#15 homicidal_squirrel Dec 23, 2010 10:42:20	Granted, but it doesn't have a motor. I wish TA stopped derailing this thread. Granted, TA stops derailing this thread... instead you derail it. I wish I had a a coke.
#16 EscherEnigma Dec 23, 2010 12:09:39	Granted, you have a modern can containing 1886 coca-cola, complete with cocaine. (Wait, does that count as corrupting, or making more awesome?) I wish for the wish granter to grant, with the same malicious corrupting, the wish of... oh... how 'bout  [REDACTED].
#17 adun_irving Dec 23, 2010 12:13:22	Granted, you now have to work for 15 minutes a day, you have the best job in the world and it's so awesome that anything you can do in your freetime is boring as hell in comparison. And there's no need for overtime. I wish people would stop being stupid.  Granted. Now that people have stopped being stupid, they're harder to cow and subdue, and everyone starts their own bid for world domination. Nice going, you started an endless world war. I wish I was married to the most gorgeous woman in the world, who was completely in love with and faithful to me.
#18 EscherEnigma Dec 23, 2010 12:17:48	I wish I was married to the most gorgeous woman in the world, who was completely in love with and faithful to me.  Granted.  However you also not have synesthesia such that every time you say her name, any nick-names for her, or even any pro-nouns referring to her you taste the most vile combination of sewage and rotting flesh possible. (still waiting on my wish)
#19 homicidal_squirrel Dec 23, 2010 12:37:32	Granted, you have a modern can containing 1886 coca-cola, complete with cocaine. (Wait, does that count as corrupting, or making more awesome?) I wish for the wish granter to grant, with the same malicious corrupting, the wish of... oh... how 'bout  [REDACTED]. It would certainly be more profitable. By the way, what is your wish?
#20 homicidal_squirrel Dec 23, 2010 12:37:42	(still waiting on my wish)  Granted! But 5 minutes into it, it melts away. I wish my ex would love me again. Granted, you are transformed into a woman who only speaks English, your ex-gf becomes a lesbian, falls in love with you and gets you to move to the U.S., become citizens and join the army.
#21 homicidal_squirrel Dec 23, 2010 13:02:56	Meh. Not that corrupted IMO. So you have no wish, HS? Oh yeah... forgot that part. how about... I wish for a blueberry muffin. I'm kind of hungry.
#22 Robin_Hoodlum Dec 23, 2010 13:11:11	Meh. Not that corrupted IMO. So you have no wish, HS? Oh yeah... forgot that part. how about... I wish for a blueberry muffin. I'm kind of hungry. Granted! You get your blueberry muffin, served by an extremely infectious sick person with a runny nose, dirty fingernails and very, very poor personal hygiene who just got finished defecating with a bad case of the runs. Now... I wish for World PeaceTM.
#23 homicidal_squirrel Dec 23, 2010 13:14:05	Meh. Not that corrupted IMO. So you have no wish, HS? Oh yeah... forgot that part. how about... I wish for a blueberry muffin. I'm kind of hungry. Granted! You get your blueberry muffin, served by an extremely infectious sick person with a runny nose, dirty fingernails and very, very poor personal hygiene who just got finished defecating with a bad case of the runs. Now... I wish for World PeaceTM. Granted. Everyone dies. I wish I hadn't wished for a blueberry muffin.
#24 homicidal_squirrel Dec 23, 2010 13:58:23	You travel back in time and super impose your future self on your past self, killing both of yous at the same time, thus preventing you from ordering the muffin. I wish to be an all mighty god! Granted, you are an all mighty god, but you view your lack of belief as blasphemy and send yourself to h I wish I could find an online video for the GSP vs Josh Koscheck 2 fight (UFC 124... hint hint... give me a link)
#25 boraxe Dec 23, 2010 14:03:31	You travel back in time and super impose your future self on your past self, killing both of yous at the same time, thus preventing you from ordering the muffin. I wish to be an all mighty god! Granted. Sadly, Christopher Hitchens proves you don't exist and you promptly vanish into nothingness. I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish.
#26 BRJN Dec 23, 2010 22:39:21	Granted.  The fish is now alive ... you ate it, right? ... and you have an awful stomachache.  In about two days you are going to be amazed at what comes out. I wish I had readied a better Wish.
#27 evilleknight Dec 23, 2010 23:34:49	Granted, you come up with a witty wish that makes you laugh, though the wizards website goes offline and no one saw it. I wish my cold would just go away.
#28 Cpt_Micha Dec 24, 2010 1:17:11	Granted.  But they think it was some other guy that did it, and they hook up with them instead. I wish this damned install would finish already.
#29 pluisjen Dec 24, 2010 2:03:46	It's done! Now get ready for three days of patching and installing updates... I wish I could get out of bed on time.
#30 Klirshon Dec 24, 2010 7:40:03	I suppose I'll participate in this human game. Your wish is granted. Upon the appropriate time, you will roll off your bed and awake as your cranium crashes to the floor. I wish you fleshlings would bugger off.
#31 homicidal_squirrel Dec 24, 2010 8:07:06	Granted. You cast magic missle at Will. He takes Damage and being a commoner dies. I wish someone would punch Curtis's mom in the face.
#32 boraxe Dec 24, 2010 8:08:31	Granted! We do. But then we realize that we miss you so much that we just smash you to pieces, so we can keep a souvenir close to our hearts. I wish I could cast Magic Missile at will. Granted. All guys named Will now attack and kill you in self defense. I wish I could go just one day without someone on the forums getting all bent out of shape cos they misintepreted something I wrote.
#33 Cpt_Micha Dec 24, 2010 8:12:12	Granted.  Unfortunately now every time you speak to someone, they misinterpret you instead. I wish this patch would finish already. (Damn you plu!)
#34 jetshield Dec 24, 2010 8:46:39	Granted. Unfortunately, the patch was corrupted and carrying a payload of super-viruses that not only destroy your computer, but escape it to infect you as patient zero of the worst plague to ever hit mankind. I wish I didn't have to work tonight.
#35 homicidal_squirrel Dec 24, 2010 8:54:31	Granted. Unfortunately, the patch was corrupted and carrying a payload of super-viruses that not only destroy your computer, but escape it to infect you as patient zero of the worst plague to ever hit mankind. I wish I didn't have to work tonight. Granted. You get fired.
#36 adun_irving Dec 24, 2010 19:52:38	I wish the squirrel would wish for something...
#37 jetshield Dec 24, 2010 20:11:52	I wish the squirrel would wish for something... A random, very hungry squirrel comes by and wishes you were a giant acorn. I wish the founder of Microsoft, Bill Gates, would hand deliver a valid personal check made out to me in the ammount of $10,000,000, dated today, and not stop payment on it.
#38 Ragnar_Lodbrok Dec 24, 2010 20:24:24	Granted. The check bursts into flame as soon as it leaves Mr. Gates' hand. I wish most of the more annoying people (from my perspective) would spontaneously stop breathing. Permanently.
#39 adun_irving Dec 24, 2010 23:19:11	Granted. They are now annoying ZOMBIES!!! I wish I could remove people from existence with a thought.
#40 Mad_Jack Dec 24, 2010 23:25:06	Granted. However, not having been more specific, the first time you use that ability all people everywhere cease to exist. Including yourself. I wish I had started painting earlier.
#41 jetshield Dec 25, 2010 0:05:14	Granted. You started painting sea turtle eggs and baby fur seals with lead based paint 6 years ago. Now the EPA would like to have a chat. I wish all these presents would wrap themselves.
#42 wuzzifizit Dec 25, 2010 0:35:36	Granted. You started painting sea turtle eggs and baby fur seals with lead based paint 6 years ago. Now the EPA would like to have a chat. I wish all these presents would wrap themselves. Granted.  They wrap themselves.  In your skin. I wish for a million wishes.
#43 Mad_Jack Dec 25, 2010 1:23:17	Granted. 333,333 Rings of Three Wishes rain down on top of you, forcing you to run for your life. Just when you think it's safe, you trip over a used 3.5 Ed. Luckblade +1 and cut your toe. Gangrene sets in. On the positive side, however, you now have a magical sword with which to fight off the crowd of people who come rushing over to try to steal your giant pile of rings. I wish they made a live-action Smurfs movie, cast Pamela Anderson as Smurfette, and accidentally permanently died her blue.
#44 Cpt_Micha Dec 25, 2010 8:12:12	Granted... unfortunately it's X rated and we all got to see what a worn out barbie doll looks like..... I wish the snow keeps falling for christmas day.
#45 Astromath Dec 25, 2010 9:08:33	Granted... unfortunately it's X rated and we all got to see what a worn out barbie doll looks like..... I wish the snow keeps falling for christmas day. Granted.  But, unfortunately the diety in charge declared that christmas day will never end and eventually the Earth will be crushed into a black hole by the weight of the accumulated snow. I wish that the only food in the world is cheese pizza with extra parmasean cheese, oregano, and crushed red pepper and that everybody loved it.
#46 wuzzifizit Dec 25, 2010 14:10:53	I wish that the only food in the world is cheese pizza with extra parmasean cheese, oregano, and crushed red pepper and that everybody loved it. Granted.  Unfortunately, there is only one cheese pizza with extra parmesan cheese, oregano, and crushed red pepper.  Additionally, everyone loves it in the romantic sense. I wish for this thread to continue.
#47 Cpt_Micha Dec 25, 2010 17:08:00	Granted. Unfortunately once this thread dies it will be come a ghoul and make you it's first victim. I wish that I had a Ferarri.
#48 Ragnar_Lodbrok Dec 25, 2010 17:42:25	Granted. A ferrari falls from the sky at its terminal velocity and kills you instantly. I wish a sudden shockwave would flatten Los Angeles while neither I nor anyone I actually like is there (only Los Angeles and all landmass in a 50-mile radius of the center of the city) immediately and without warning.
#49 Cpt_Micha Dec 25, 2010 18:26:37	Granted. But the air pollutants from such destruction carry on the winds, and suffocate you and your loved ones. I wish, I had a sled.
#50 wuzzifizit Dec 25, 2010 22:16:11	Granted. But the air pollutants from such destruction carry on the winds, and suffocate you and your loved ones. I wish, I had a sled. Granted. When you were a child, you had a sled and going down hills on it was your fondest memory.  Shortly thereafter, you were adopted by a rich industry tycoon and never saw your family again.  While you were quite successful at building a media empire, you alienated all those who loved you.  In your waning years, you thought back to those beautiful times when you were an innocent child.  You'd trade all that you've built just to recapture those times.  But you can't.  And you die a lonely, old man. I wish people would stop bitching about Essentials.
#51 toastedamphibian Dec 27, 2010 19:17:13	I wish people would stop bitching about Essentials.  Granted! Gygax died in a car accident as a child and D&D never existed. I wish you all would stop being half-assed Jerkass Genies and be literal Genies instead. It is more creative and amusing.
#52 homicidal_squirrel Dec 27, 2010 21:06:06	Granted! I am now a liberal Genie! I wish 4e was never made. Granted. Instead of 4E there is 3.9E. It has the same rules as 4E. I wish Goldo would post a pic of his ex-gf so we can all make crude and lascivious comments.
#53 death_isthe_begining Dec 27, 2010 21:26:46	Granted then she gets married to the next president of the united states and uses her newfound position to slowly torture to death everyone who ever slighted her in any way in secret. I wish they created 4e but kept 3.5e
#54 toastedamphibian Dec 27, 2010 22:19:53	Granted then she gets married to the next president of the united states and uses her newfound position to slowly torture to death everyone who ever slighted her in any way in secret. I wish they created 4e but kept 3.5e Granted! Nothing changed... . I wish for twenty dollars.
#55 toastedamphibian Dec 27, 2010 22:44:08	Granted! I am now a liberal Genie! No,no! Not a liberal Genie, silly goose. A literal genie. Like this: I wish my ex would love me again. Granted! She loves you again but still cannot forgive what you are. She cries herself to sleep every night from the wound in her heart she cannot fix and cannot forget. See, now thats a corrupted wish. You got exactly what you wished for, but not what you wanted, and you hurt others in the proccess.
#56 homicidal_squirrel Dec 27, 2010 23:00:13	Granted then she gets married to the next president of the united states and uses her newfound position to slowly torture to death everyone who ever slighted her in any way in secret. I wish they created 4e but kept 3.5e Granted! Nothing changed... . I wish for twenty dollars. granted. You have $20... in pennies. I wish I had a new car.
#57 pluisjen Dec 28, 2010 3:28:01	I wish I had a new car. You have a new car. It appears right next to you, in the middle of your living room. It's a rather big SUV, too. I wish the people building the project I'm working on would make their deadlines for a change.
#58 homicidal_squirrel Dec 28, 2010 7:20:20	Granted, the people you are working with make their deadlines. You fail to make any of your deadlines and get fired. I wish my new suv appeared outside, in my parking spot, instead of in my living room.
#59 pluisjen Dec 28, 2010 9:23:32	Granted! It'll take you years before you're able to touch a person again without ripping them apart, or being able to hold a tool or do any of the things you've always taken for granted, like walking without going through nearby walls. I wish I had an easier time coming up with wishes for this thread.
#60 homicidal_squirrel Dec 28, 2010 9:55:10	Granted! It'll take you years before you're able to touch a person again without ripping them apart, or being able to hold a tool or do any of the things you've always taken for granted, like walking without going through nearby walls. I wish I had an easier time coming up with wishes for this thread.     Granted. You have an easier time coming up with wishes for this thread... everyone else has an easier time corrupting your wishes also. Granted! It appears in your parking lot, where you entire family was at the time. The result ain't pretty. I wish I had Superman's powers. Granted. You have superman's powers until one day you meet your nemesis... a horse. You fall off and end up a quadriplegic. I'm going to hell for that one aren't I? I wish I wasn't going to hell for that one.
#61 homicidal_squirrel Dec 28, 2010 10:06:54	Granted. You are now Jesus Sanchez. You are a Mexican immigrant living illegally in Arizona and the cops have just pulled you over for driving too fast. I wish I could speak every known language fluently.
#62 homicidal_squirrel Dec 28, 2010 10:16:17	Granted. You were born in the U.S. You never learned French or even visited Canada. You joined the military and became best friends with RH and now you live next door to him. I wish I had a cup cake.
#63 homicidal_squirrel Dec 28, 2010 10:24:23	Granted. There really is no need to corrupt that wish. I wish Goldo would eat the cup cake I wished for earlier, including the killer finger.
#64 toastedamphibian Dec 28, 2010 15:30:41	Granted. There really is no need to corrupt that wish. I wish Goldo would eat the cup cake I wished for earlier, including the killer finger.  Granted! He liked it too. I wish I had a disembodied finger friend!
#65 pluisjen Dec 28, 2010 15:33:09	Granted! You obtain a disembodied finger friend, at least until the men in white robes come to take you away for talking to a rotting piece of a corpse. I wish... for something interesting.
#66 homicidal_squirrel Dec 28, 2010 15:58:43	Granted. You something interesting appears. Unfortunately you weren't paying attention and it gets stolen. I wish aliens would visit earth.
#67 death_isthe_begining Dec 28, 2010 16:00:47	Granted unfortunately for you that something interesting a disease that turns you into a zombie and anyone who who comes into any contact with your bodily fluids retroactively. Granted except they then kill everyone and then Klirshon robot army raises up to begin a war with the aliens which finally culminates in the destruction of space-time.   I wish there was some enjoyable challenge to corrupting these wishes.
#68 toastedamphibian Dec 28, 2010 16:49:49	Granted unfortunately for you that something interesting a disease that turns you into a zombie and anyone who who comes into any contact with your bodily fluids retroactively. Granted except they then kill everyone and then Klirshon robot army raises up to begin a war with the aliens which finally culminates in the destruction of space-time.   I wish there was some enjoyable challenge to corrupting these wishes. Granted! You recieve the opportunity to accept the challenge of being a literal genie and resisting the temptation of the low hanging fruit known as pulling bad results from outside the wish! I wish it was time to go home.
#69 homicidal_squirrel Dec 28, 2010 17:39:47	Granted. It is now 2 inches. I wish Diet Dr. Peper really tasted like regular Dr. Peper.
#70 toastedamphibian Dec 28, 2010 17:56:36	Granted. It is now 2 inches. I wish Diet Dr. Peper really tasted like regular Dr. Peper.  Granted! Dr. Pepper and Diet Dr. Pepper are now exactly the same. I wish someone would kill me softley with his song.
#71 adun_irving Dec 28, 2010 19:46:43	Granted! He sneaks into your room while you sleep, and smothers you with the sheet music for his song. I wish we'd get some good new material for the Swordmage.
#72 toastedamphibian Dec 28, 2010 20:45:43	Granted! All other men are thrown 6 inches into the air, simultaneously. [Get it? Your the only man "on" earth for, like, .03 seconds and as such are the richest man on earth. Untill the others land. Har har.] I wish my boots where new.
#73 homicidal_squirrel Dec 28, 2010 21:30:40	Granted. Your boots are new. They are also pink with sparkles.  I wish these boards would stop having epileptic seizures and work properly.
#74 toastedamphibian Dec 28, 2010 21:42:58	Granted. Your boots are new. They are also pink with sparkles.  I wish these boards would stop having epileptic seizures and work properly.   Granted! The boards are now closed to all but wizard employees for company business. The massively decreased volume allows for greater efficency and fewer problems. I wish my pink sparkly boots where made of metal.
#75 homicidal_squirrel Dec 28, 2010 22:54:56	Granted. Your pink, sparkly boots are made of metal... 500 lbs of metal... each. I wish for 2 pennies.
#76 homicidal_squirrel Dec 28, 2010 23:02:33	Granted! They are now made of lead. I wish all the man on Earth, except me, would die and I was left will all the women. Granted. They are all man-hating and the reason all other men died off. Eventually they find you nd finish the extermination of men. I wish for 2 turn tables and a microphone.
#77 homicidal_squirrel Dec 28, 2010 23:20:58	Granted... wait... no... never mind. These forums can't work properly.  I wish I had not dropped my sunglasses causing them to get scratched.
#78 homicidal_squirrel Dec 28, 2010 23:57:58	Granted. You walk around smelling like  I wish I hadn't eaten my sunglasses.
#79 Mad_Jack Dec 29, 2010 0:13:09	Granted. You accidentally ate an identical pair belonging to a very large, very angry steroid abuser. I wish I hadn't made a wish.
#80 homicidal_squirrel Dec 29, 2010 0:15:22	Granted. You didn't make a wish... you made sweet sweet love to Goldo. I G.R.R. Martin would finish the next book in the song of fire and ice series.
#81 jetshield Dec 29, 2010 5:03:42	Granted. He wrote 4 pages. It was never published. I wish I had a dollar for every view this thread gets.
#82 horvick Dec 29, 2010 6:16:45	Granted. A large sack of dollar coins falls from the sky, hitting you in the head. You are now in a vegetative state and will never be able to spend the money. I wish they would stop making stupid reality TV shows.
#83 pluisjen Dec 29, 2010 6:16:52	Granted. They're on your bank account, and deducted from your regular income. I wish I would have some comfy, fitting jeans without having to actually go shopping for them.
#84 toastedamphibian Dec 29, 2010 6:43:50	Granted. They are on the dead hobo outside your building. I wish I knew how many licks to the center of a totsie pop.
#85 Klirshon Dec 29, 2010 7:02:45	Your wish is granted. You are now disappointed with the longevity of a Tootsie Pop®. I wish to interface with a functioning generator that has enough power to revitalise my capacitors without overloading them and damaging other necessary components.
#86 pluisjen Dec 29, 2010 7:50:50	Granted! I've put the prototypes on your table, you just have to take them to the lab. I wish my work would do itself.
#87 zombie_babies Dec 29, 2010 7:59:20	Granted!  Your work is now Goldo (get it?  he does himself a lot ) I wish for some stuff with some things to go with it.
#88 pluisjen Dec 29, 2010 8:38:03	Granted! You have the libido, but not the stamina to go with it, and you'll be sexually frustrated for the rest of your life. I wish for more inspiration for my current project.
#89 jetshield Dec 29, 2010 12:58:03	Granted. You mutate into a creature with incredible stamina. Your new form is handless and so repulsive and rank smelling that no other creature will come within 20 feet of you. I wish to be omnipotent.
#90 evilleknight Dec 29, 2010 13:41:56	Granted, your stamina is so great that you lose interest before you actually climax and are now sexually frustrated. I wish that there was a new unreal tournament out for PC.
#91 zombie_babies Dec 29, 2010 14:06:49	Granted.  A new Unreal Tournament is released catering to the politically correct. I wish, oh how I wish that people could corrupt the proper wishes instead of just clicking the reply button after whatever wish they just read and would, instead, read the entire thread and respond to the latest wish in order to maitain the game's continuity.
#92 Ragnar_Lodbrok Dec 29, 2010 14:12:40	Granted. All of the following corrupted wishes are unoriginally corrupted and followed by too-easy wishes. I wish I had a fish. Salmon, to be precise.
#93 toastedamphibian Dec 29, 2010 15:40:30	Granted. All of the following corrupted wishes are unoriginally corrupted and followed by too-easy wishes. I wish I had a fish. Salmon, to be precise. Granted. Here, have this salmon minnow I've been carrying in my pocket for the last couple days. I wish I could get the stench of Ragnars tiny fish out of my pocket.
#94 DarkSkrypter Dec 29, 2010 17:48:35	Granted. Here, have this salmon minnow I've been carrying in my pocket for the last couple days. I wish I could get the stench of Ragnars tiny fish out of my pocket. Granted, your pocket now smells like tree bark, unfortunately there are now barkbeetles lining up outside your window. I wish I hadn't lost my marbles somewhere.
#95 Mad_Jack Dec 29, 2010 18:04:56	Granted. They were never lost since you saw them fall to the ground, but still slipped on them when they rolled underfoot anyway... I wish I hadn't posted this.
#96 Robin_Hoodlum Dec 29, 2010 18:18:25	Granted. They were never lost since you saw them fall to the ground, but still slipped on them when they rolled underfoot anyway... I wish I hadn't posted this. Granted. You didn't post that, but instead you have posted a poorly thought out, ridiculous statement with sexual innuendo, looking for attention... or you posted a stupid "joke" that nobody thinks is funny. I wish weed was legal.
#97 justisaur Dec 29, 2010 18:44:16	I wish weed was legal. Granted, but it now costs $100,000 a pack due to taxes, and you can't afford any. I wish to be perfectly healthy for the rest of my natural life.
#98 jetshield Dec 29, 2010 18:52:39	Granted. Your natural life ends the next time you get even the tiniest bit sick. The next 10,000 years will be your unnatural life, in which you are continually sick, weak, and in pain. I still wish to be omnipotent. ;)
#99 homicidal_squirrel Dec 30, 2010 0:14:48	Granted. Your natural life ends the next time you get even the tiniest bit sick. The next 10,000 years will be your unnatural life, in which you are continually sick, weak, and in pain. I still wish to be omnipotent. ;) Granted. You are omnipotent but as dumb as a box of rocks. You challenge yourself to prove your power by killing the most powerful being and kill yourself.  I wish for some ore cookies.
#100 pluisjen Dec 30, 2010 6:36:35	I wish weed was legal. You are teleported into Amsterdam, and are surrounded by hippies, socialists and legal weed?  I wish for some ore cookies. I'm not sure how to not corrupt this... you obtain some cookies made of Iron Ore? Uhm.. I wish I'd get tomorrow off?
#101 Robin_Hoodlum Dec 30, 2010 7:24:20	I wish weed was legal. You are teleported into Amsterdam, and are surrounded by hippies, socialists and legal weed?  Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (LOL)
#102 zombie_babies Dec 30, 2010 8:48:53	Uhm.. I wish I'd get tomorrow off?  Granted.  You will have tomorrow off but today will never end. I wish for a backup set of lungs and a replacement liver so I can enjoy all the things god intended me to without killing myself. (Aside: Isn't weed technically illegal in Amsterdam?  I'm under the impression that it's more of an understanding between officials and the people that it's illegal but ok to buy, sell, use and grow so long as you do so in approved places.  Like, you can buy it in a bar but not smoke it on the street or something.  Closed door sort of thing.  I may be wrong, though.)
#103 pluisjen Dec 30, 2010 8:58:02	I'm not sure really. I don't smoke it, so I don't really care. There might be some understanding between people and police about what is and isn't allowed, but if you can buy it in shops and smoke it without getting busted, I call it legal. I mean alcohol is legal, but you're not exactly allowed to just drink anywhere or go around town roaring drunk either, so I'm not sure where to draw the line.  Also, granted. An extra pair of lungs and a replacement liver can be found on your nightstand. I wish someone else would come up with a wish for me.
#104 zombie_babies Dec 30, 2010 9:01:07	Yeah, I'd call it defacto legal for sure.  I just saw a show about some lady that smoked weed for a month (the BBC version of 30 Days or vice-versa, whatever) to see what it would do to her and they mentioned that the 'legal weed' thing was technically a myth though pretty damned true. Umm ... Granted!  I wish I was dead.  (answer and wish)
#105 Robin_Hoodlum Dec 30, 2010 9:03:57	Granted! You are dead. Unfortunately, you were not good enough to make it "upstairs" and now you have to spend eternity "downstairs". I wish I could assassinate Usama bin Laden
#106 pluisjen Dec 30, 2010 9:42:43	Granted! You just killed some poor innocent dude because you couldn't spell the name of the guy you really want dead properly. (You make them really easy,  you know?) I wish... the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster would become a major religion?
#107 homicidal_squirrel Dec 30, 2010 10:11:50	Granted! You just killed some poor innocent dude because you couldn't spell the name of the guy you really want dead properly. (You make them really easy,  you know?) I wish... the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster would become a major religion?  Granted. Pasta becomes a holy symbol and people become enraged and kill anyone who dares to it pasta. I wish I had typed "Oreo" instead of "ore" in my previous post.
#108 Idolis Dec 30, 2010 17:26:15	I wish I had typed "Oreo" instead of "ore" in my previous post.  Granted. Unfortunately, the oreo was licked clean and chewed up before you recieved it. I wish Gary Gygax and George Carlin had a love child before they died.
#109 death_isthe_begining Jan 01, 2011 4:50:26	I wish Gary Gygax and George Carlin had a love child before they died. First awesome wish. Granted Frylock from Aqua Team Hunger Force was their mutated love child. I wish I had a collection of souls with which to barter.
#110 toastedamphibian Jan 01, 2011 6:18:55	I wish Gary Gygax and George Carlin had a love child before they died. First awesome wish. Granted Frylock from Aqua Team Hunger Force was their mutated love child. I wish I had a collection of souls with which to barter. Granted, but having no way to store them, they escape. I wish for Azura's star.
#111 Astromath Jan 01, 2011 7:41:58	I had to look that one up. Granted, but all you can find to trap are rats and insects. I wish that I can attend GenCon this year.
#112 Robin_Hoodlum Jan 01, 2011 8:39:18	I had to look that one up. Granted, but all you can find to trap are rats and insects. I wish that I can attend GenCon this year. Granted. You attend Gencon this year, but all there is to play is 4e... YUCK!
#113 evilleknight Jan 02, 2011 18:45:07	Your unspoken wish is granted and corrupted in such a way as it is no longer a good thing. I wish I had all the gaming books in the world
#114 horvick Jan 02, 2011 19:18:39	Granted. As you open the first book, you suddenly lose your sight. I wish I could teleport myself anywhere in the world.
#115 Klirshon Jan 02, 2011 20:09:20	Your wish is granted, however you did not imply that you would have control on where you teleported to. Thus it is possible that the first time you teleport, you may arrive partially imbedded within a wall or deep within the Earth's mantle layer. Have a nice flight, meatsack. I wish my components were repaired thoroughly.
#116 Mad_Jack Jan 02, 2011 21:41:43	Granted. All your components have been permanently welded in place, including the non-metallic ones.  I wish I hadn't dripped hot plastic on my hand while welding klirshon's components together.
#117 Klirshon Jan 03, 2011 6:16:39	(Go figure it was a non-mechanic, wish granter) Your wish is granted. That wasn't hot plastic which dripped onto your hand; it was lead solder. I wish the next wish corruptor would clean the lead solder off MJ's hand with a wire brush.
#118 Mad_Jack Jan 03, 2011 8:14:44	Granted. Being a conscientious recycler, rather than scrape it off with a wire brush I simply remelt it with the soldering iron and save it for later. I wish my brain would stop making me type crazy things when I've been awake for more than 24 hours.
#119 toastedamphibian Jan 03, 2011 14:42:53	Granted; you are afflicted with full body paralisis every time you are awake for more than 15 hours straight. I wish I had all the powers of fictional character Duncan McCloud.
#120 Mad_Jack Jan 03, 2011 21:23:27	Granted. You now have all the powers of fictional character Duncan McCloud, a drug-addled Scotish transvestite prostitute who is a minor character from the self-published novel Train Splatters by unknown author Aiden McFollet - a story loosely plagiarized from a suspiciously similarly-named movie, where all the characters eventually realize that all the previous events of the movie were uterly pointless and inane, fall into an existential despair and throw themselves under the titular train... I wish I hadn't wasted the past five hours doing nothing.
#121 Idolis Jan 04, 2011 0:58:13	Granted. You have instead spent the last 5 hours sleeping and dreaming about doing nothing. I wish the world was my oyster.
#122 zombie_babies Jan 04, 2011 9:49:28	Granted.  The world is now your oyster.  However, as you're much smaller than the world and inside of it, you've become the bit of sand it'll cover to end the irritation you cause. I wish mainlining mercury wasn't so damned bad for you.
#123 toastedamphibian Jan 05, 2011 8:12:50	Granted. Mainlineing mercury is no longer bad for me. I wish I had a reason to mainline mercury now that it won't harm me.
#124 Mad_Jack Jan 05, 2011 20:16:05	Granted. You now require six gallons of mercury every day to survive. Good luck with that. I wish I had six gallons of mercury so I could sell it to you for an exorbitant price.
#125 toastedamphibian Jan 05, 2011 20:20:16	Granted! You now vomit up mercury on a regular basis. As such, I kick you while you are down and chain you in my shed. I wish I had a large Shed.
#126 Idolis Jan 05, 2011 20:38:28	Granted. All your hair falls out. I wish I didn't have to get a hair cut.
#127 homicidal_squirrel Jan 05, 2011 21:00:34	Granted, you are completely and permanently bald. I wish I knew what to wish for.
#128 Mad_Jack Jan 05, 2011 21:36:12	Granted. You now know what to wish for, but wasted the opportunity to wish for it by wishing you knew what to wish for. I wish I got whatever it was that h_s was supposed to wish for.
#129 jetshield Jan 06, 2011 0:32:19	Granted. You have a new pair of those wierd shoes the squirrel likes so much. They're 2 sizes too small. I wish my feet weren't so cold.
#130 pluisjen Jan 06, 2011 3:52:03	Granted, they are now on fire. I wish my new house was ready to be lived in.
#131 toastedamphibian Jan 06, 2011 4:18:04	Granted, they are now on fire. I wish my new house was ready to be lived in. Granted, a couple of hobos have taken up residence. They think its swell. I wish for a can of nothing.
#132 Mad_Jack Jan 06, 2011 19:38:44	Granted. You now have a can of absolute nothingness in your hand. However, the laws of physics kick in and your can of nothing implodes violently, taking most of your hand with it... I wish I'd realized today was Thursday.
#133 death_isthe_begining Jan 08, 2011 23:43:57	Granted except now it is saturday and forever more you think it is 2 days past. I wish for a non-lethal end to world hunger.
#134 evilleknight Jan 09, 2011 2:54:57	Granted, but the worlds food supplies are tainted and causes food poisoning. Though not lethal, it sure as hell sucks. I wish I was back in the Army.
#135 Mad_Jack Jan 09, 2011 13:40:30	Granted. You find yourself back in the army once again, specifically Custer's 7th Cavalry on the day of the Battle of the Little Big Horn... I wish I had an explosive device implanted in my head that was set to go off in fifteen minutes.
#136 Ragnar_Lodbrok Jan 09, 2011 22:06:50	Granted. The device turns out to be a dud, and the implantation caused serious brain damage. I wish I had a machine gun.
#137 Mad_Jack Jan 11, 2011 0:08:54	Granted. You now have Alex Shelley, one half of the wrestling tag team The Motor City Machine Guns. I wish jobs grew on trees.
#138 Idolis Jan 11, 2011 0:49:13	Granted. You find a strange new fruit tree in your back yard. The fruit is delicious but has side effects such as suicidal and homicidal thoughts, a compulsive need to talk to people gathered around water coolers, and contempt for superiors. Unsurprisingly, you decide to call the fruit Job. I wish I had an army of winged monkeys.
#139 jetshield Jan 11, 2011 9:33:09	Granted. Your army of winged monkeys is completely untrained and sees you as an invader in their territory. Within seconds you are drowning in winged-monkey poo. I wish my cold symptoms would go away.
#140 zombie_babies Jan 11, 2011 9:53:16	Granted.  You are dead.  I wish I was more motivated to find more interesting wish corruptions rather than simply writing the easiest thing that I can come up with.
#141 homicidal_squirrel Jan 11, 2011 10:47:58	Granted.  You are dead.  I wish I was more motivated to find more interesting wish corruptions rather than simply writing the easiest thing that I can come up with. Granted, you are now highly motivated to find more interesting wish corruptions. So much so that anytime you anyone near you says the words "I wish" you automatically say "Granted..." and tell them how you have corrupted their wish... no matter how inappropriate the situation (just imagine it during a funeral) I wish it was February 12th 2011.
#142 toastedamphibian Jan 12, 2011 2:19:30	Granted, January now comes at the end of the calandar year. I wish for peanut butter to be happy.
#143 pluisjen Jan 12, 2011 3:14:35	Granted, peanut butter is now happy. It weeps with joy when you eat it, which is so unsettling it is banned from being sold across the country. I wish to get accepted for an internship at the school I'm visiting this afternoon.
#144 toastedamphibian Jan 12, 2011 3:17:13	Granted, peanut butter is now happy. It weeps with joy when you eat it, which is so unsettling it is banned from being sold across the country. I wish to get accepted for an internship at the school I'm visiting this afternoon.  Granted. They offer you an internship with the night custodian. I wish the night custodian didn't 'like you' like you.
#162 zombie_babies Jan 04, 2011 9:49:28	Granted.  The world is now your oyster.  However, as you're much smaller than the world and inside of it, you've become the bit of sand it'll cover to end the irritation you cause. I wish mainlining mercury wasn't so damned bad for you.
#163 toastedamphibian Jan 05, 2011 8:12:50	Granted. Mainlineing mercury is no longer bad for me. I wish I had a reason to mainline mercury now that it won't harm me.
#164 Mad_Jack Jan 05, 2011 20:16:05	Granted. You now require six gallons of mercury every day to survive. Good luck with that. I wish I had six gallons of mercury so I could sell it to you for an exorbitant price.
#165 toastedamphibian Jan 05, 2011 20:20:16	Granted! You now vomit up mercury on a regular basis. As such, I kick you while you are down and chain you in my shed. I wish I had a large Shed.
#166 Idolis Jan 05, 2011 20:38:28	Granted. All your hair falls out. I wish I didn't have to get a hair cut.
#167 homicidal_squirrel Jan 05, 2011 21:00:34	Granted, you are completely and permanently bald. I wish I knew what to wish for.
#168 Mad_Jack Jan 05, 2011 21:36:12	Granted. You now know what to wish for, but wasted the opportunity to wish for it by wishing you knew what to wish for. I wish I got whatever it was that h_s was supposed to wish for.
#169 jetshield Jan 06, 2011 0:32:19	Granted. You have a new pair of those wierd shoes the squirrel likes so much. They're 2 sizes too small. I wish my feet weren't so cold.
#170 pluisjen Jan 06, 2011 3:52:03	Granted, they are now on fire. I wish my new house was ready to be lived in.
#171 toastedamphibian Jan 06, 2011 4:18:04	Granted, they are now on fire. I wish my new house was ready to be lived in. Granted, a couple of hobos have taken up residence. They think its swell. I wish for a can of nothing.
#172 Mad_Jack Jan 06, 2011 19:38:44	Granted. You now have a can of absolute nothingness in your hand. However, the laws of physics kick in and your can of nothing implodes violently, taking most of your hand with it... I wish I'd realized today was Thursday.
#173 death_isthe_begining Jan 08, 2011 23:43:57	Granted except now it is saturday and forever more you think it is 2 days past. I wish for a non-lethal end to world hunger.
#174 evilleknight Jan 09, 2011 2:54:57	Granted, but the worlds food supplies are tainted and causes food poisoning. Though not lethal, it sure as hell sucks. I wish I was back in the Army.
#175 Mad_Jack Jan 09, 2011 13:40:30	Granted. You find yourself back in the army once again, specifically Custer's 7th Cavalry on the day of the Battle of the Little Big Horn... I wish I had an explosive device implanted in my head that was set to go off in fifteen minutes.
#176 Ragnar_Lodbrok Jan 09, 2011 22:06:50	Granted. The device turns out to be a dud, and the implantation caused serious brain damage. I wish I had a machine gun.
#177 Mad_Jack Jan 11, 2011 0:08:54	Granted. You now have Alex Shelley, one half of the wrestling tag team The Motor City Machine Guns. I wish jobs grew on trees.
#178 Idolis Jan 11, 2011 0:49:13	Granted. You find a strange new fruit tree in your back yard. The fruit is delicious but has side effects such as suicidal and homicidal thoughts, a compulsive need to talk to people gathered around water coolers, and contempt for superiors. Unsurprisingly, you decide to call the fruit Job. I wish I had an army of winged monkeys.
#179 jetshield Jan 11, 2011 9:33:09	Granted. Your army of winged monkeys is completely untrained and sees you as an invader in their territory. Within seconds you are drowning in winged-monkey poo. I wish my cold symptoms would go away.
#180 zombie_babies Jan 11, 2011 9:53:16	Granted.  You are dead.  I wish I was more motivated to find more interesting wish corruptions rather than simply writing the easiest thing that I can come up with.
#181 homicidal_squirrel Jan 11, 2011 10:47:58	Granted.  You are dead.  I wish I was more motivated to find more interesting wish corruptions rather than simply writing the easiest thing that I can come up with. Granted, you are now highly motivated to find more interesting wish corruptions. So much so that anytime you anyone near you says the words "I wish" you automatically say "Granted..." and tell them how you have corrupted their wish... no matter how inappropriate the situation (just imagine it during a funeral) I wish it was February 12th 2011.
#182 toastedamphibian Jan 12, 2011 2:19:30	Granted, January now comes at the end of the calandar year. I wish for peanut butter to be happy.
#183 pluisjen Jan 12, 2011 3:14:35	Granted, peanut butter is now happy. It weeps with joy when you eat it, which is so unsettling it is banned from being sold across the country. I wish to get accepted for an internship at the school I'm visiting this afternoon.
#184 toastedamphibian Jan 12, 2011 3:17:13	Granted, peanut butter is now happy. It weeps with joy when you eat it, which is so unsettling it is banned from being sold across the country. I wish to get accepted for an internship at the school I'm visiting this afternoon.  Granted. They offer you an internship with the night custodian. I wish the night custodian didn't 'like you' like you.