One of my personal favorites:
In one of my old groups for some unexplanned reason we all made our characters 15 or 16 years old. For role-playing, we adopted a teenagers sense of humor. So we're gaming and come to a wizards tower and the doors are huge. My character turns to everyone and says, " Oh we should like put poop in a bag and light it on fire and put it on the step ahahaha". Everyones like OH YEAH ! So our barbarian Gorlach takes a raging **** in a bag and lights it on fire. So we all run and make hide checks and roll terribly. The doors open and a huge iron golem cames out and stands there staring at the flaming bag. He lifts his giant leg and stomps out the flames. Then he lifts up his leg and stares at his foot. In a robotic voice he says, " It's poop.. again". DM makes us role Will saves, we all fail and die laughing.
We were fighting chokers. One of the chokers abilities is using a grabbed opponent as a bodyshield vs AC/reflex melee and ranged attacks.
So the two wizards decide to use scorching burst, an area attack. Things are going well until the paladin moves into a position thats imppossible to keep out of the AoE of the scorching bursts. The wizards decide to keep bursting anyways.
In the first round after this the eladrin wizard misses the choker and hits the pally
In the second round after the eladrin wizard rolls to hit the pally first and crits
. To make things worse the eladrin has a staff of fiery might, which adds an extra 1d8 to the attack. The pally suffers 15 points of damage and is knocked to -5 hp and of course drops. A very embarrassing moment for the eladrin.the group is in a set of tunnels at the base of a volcano that had a planar connection to one of the hells.
they all come to a an intersection with a HUGE cathedral-like hallway, and they can hear a faint chanting echoing through it.
so of course, curious, they check it out and as they get closer they hear the muffled voices of tens of thousands of creatures.
the hallway turns and there is a series of large windows with a red fiery light shining though them. the chanting stops for a moment and they hear a single voice like a leader or a commander speaking... so the sorceror decides to sneak a peek through the window to see whats going on.
he looks in at an entire legion of devils at the bottom of a coliseum and the speaker stops talking and it gets deathly quiet. slowly every single head turns around to look at the sorceror up in this window.
he pules his head back and the group asks "So what did you see???"
"Guys i think we need to get out of here!!!!"
In my first D&D group, we're all gaming in my friend Bills basement. We hear the door at the top of the stairs open and Bills mom comes down and sets down some freshly cooked cookies. She gives us all this bewildered look and goes back upstairs. Later Bill goes upstairs and then comes back laughing to himself. He tells us he over heard his mom talking on the phone. " yeah I went downstairs to give Billy's friends some cookies and their all sitting there in the dark at a table listening to this elaborate story, I hope their not worshipping the devil !"
1. The group is carrying an evil artifact stolen from main badguy, and is chased by a champion of evil to a ledge. As the evil one approaches, the paladin turns around and starts his speech - something along the lines of:
"Dear friends. Long have we been traveling together, and won many hard battles. I am afraid that today we face a warrior of legend, a foe we cannot hope to win against. Yet, in the name of all that is good and true in this world, we must not give up. We must fight till the bitter end, for only then shall we truly live up to the roles Fate has given us. However, even so, we must not let this artifact fall into enemy hands, lest all the beauty of the world shall be utterly destroyed. Therefore, with heavy heart I must advise that I take the artifact and fly away to the heaven we were looking for. I promise resurrection once I..." at which point the rest of us start laughing and cut him off.
2. The same group indebted the kingdom by showing up and giving assistance in the hour of need. They are brought before the king, who wishes to express his gratitude. The paladin (by now a self-styled leader of the party) introduces the group:
"I am (forgot the name), a paladin from the eastern Hawkwing Mountains, who faced the champion of the enemy army and triumphed. The man on my left is (yet another name forgotten), Cleric of Kryll, who alone defended the gate from the enemy onslaught when all seemed lost. This Fey here is (another name), a wizard of great power, who triumphed against the enemy mage, turning a certain defeat into victory. The other Fey is (name), who was once lost to us but has returned from the darkness, prophetising the change of Fortune. And this is (the last character, who played a rogue), our comical relief sidekick".
3. Somewhere near the end of the same campaign, all hell broke lose, evil god got released from his earthly prison and almost regained his powers, PCs failed to convince the leaders of the human kingdoms of the existence of the threat and were forced to join a rag-tag band of rebels who fought the kingdom the evil god took over from the inside.
And we come to the scene of high epic, where the rebels are defending the city against the enemy army. The PCs, as among the most powerful of the rebels give speeches to raise morale. NPC who the rebels see as their leader joins in, despite his heavy wounds from last engagement and announces he will fight. The huge battle commences. Soldiers are dying, the PCs are running around, helping the rebels stop the onslaught where needed.
All of a sudden, a deamon appears, landing on the city wall, and faces the NPC leader. After a fight the PCs witness, the NPC leader triumphs, killing the deamon and throwing him over the wall with a mighty blow, but the effort was too much on him and he kneels from the pain of his open wounds. Just as he falls down, another deamon of fire and darkness jumps on the wall above him.
Fear not! Our heroic Hawkman Paladin flies in between the two, brandishes his holy sword and commands something along the lines of "Begone, spawn of evil! We are here to put an end to you and your master in the name of Powers! Your time has passed! If you stand against us, you will only speed up your fall."
The deamon's flames intensify, he looms over the paladin, and then responds "NO (character's name), YOU ARE MISTAKEN. MY TIME HAS JUST BEGUN, AND IT IS YOU THAT SHALL PERISH TODAY, FOR, LOOK OVER THERE".
The paladin looks to the side where the deamon pointed, and then the deamon punches him while he's looking away.
Good times.