Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 homicidal_squirrel Jul 23, 2011 20:06:55	blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2011/07/... The kid needed something to drink. Yeah, a toddler up in Orange County was spotted sitting in his front lawn alone just chugging down multiple bottles of beer.
#2 grehnhewe Jul 23, 2011 20:22:26	Do you think the toddler will get drunk in public or open container?
#3 homicidal_squirrel Jul 23, 2011 20:23:42	He should get the electric chair. How dare he steal his own father's beer? For shame on him.... for shame....
#4 grehnhewe Jul 23, 2011 20:26:06	That is pretty harsh for a first offense?  You could just ask him to pour it out and wait for 20 years.
#5 homicidal_squirrel Jul 23, 2011 20:28:08	Hells to the no. He should be made an example of for all those other beer stealing toddlers.
#6 grehnhewe Jul 23, 2011 20:31:36	I guess you are right, it could reach epic proportions.  Maybe I should lock my fridge or put my beer on the top shelf.
#7 homicidal_squirrel Jul 23, 2011 20:35:12	That is always a good idea. Damn beer guzzling babies. Why can't a father just pass out drunk without having to worry about the kids drinking his beer?
#8 Cpt_Micha Jul 23, 2011 20:36:34	I am glad I have no brats around here. I can keep vodka in arms reach!
#9 homicidal_squirrel Jul 23, 2011 20:41:28	Good choice. Besides, everyone knows babies worship the devil at night when the parents are asleep.
#10 grehnhewe Jul 23, 2011 20:46:45	I don't think the best parent in the world could deal with a devil-worshipping baby drunk on vodka.
#11 draco1119 Jul 23, 2011 20:49:47	I am glad I have no brats around here. I can keep vodka in arms reach! I keep rum on top of the fridge.  That counts as "arm's reach", right?
#12 Mad_Jack Jul 23, 2011 23:33:53	I don't generally keep any alcohol around, on the off chance it might lead to babies showing up nine months later...
#13 bonesclone Jul 24, 2011 9:19:41	Well that's one way to go when you want them to go to sleep.
#14 zombie_babies Jul 25, 2011 13:27:23	Well, at least his neighbors weren't narcs.  I mean, they did tell the cops it wasn't the first time the kid was wanderin' around alone, but it was the first time they told them it wasn't the first time the kid was wanderin' around alone.  Good neighbors enable neglect, yo.
#15 zombie_babies Jul 25, 2011 13:36:08	Good call.  Get 'em both so ya don't have to fight over the leavin's.
#16 zombie_babies Jul 25, 2011 13:42:24	It was probably a set up.  They bonked the dad on the head and then gave the kid just enough beer to register and then called the cops.  Dad wakes up and has no idea what's happenin' but the trailer is soon undefended and the neighbors drink their fill.  Yeah, total set up.
#17 zombie_babies Jul 25, 2011 13:47:00	Yep.  Babies should have all the beer they want.
#18 shiningwolf88 Jul 26, 2011 10:30:46	Why not just have the government provide everyone with liquor IVs? Would that satisfy you? Wait...would you complain if the government actually gave everyone free beer?
#19 homicidal_squirrel Jul 26, 2011 13:59:47	Why not just have the government provide everyone with liquor IVs? Would that satisfy you? Wait...would you complain if the government actually gave everyone free beer? I wouldn't, but I'm sure someone would.
#20 draco1119 Jul 26, 2011 14:16:59	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost.
#21 homicidal_squirrel Jul 26, 2011 14:22:08	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life.
#22 Klirshon Jul 26, 2011 14:31:47	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life. For what it's worth, you could possibly win on such a platform anyways. Just give a tax break to any (if not all) of the macro-breweries and offer a subsidy for their products as the "free beer ration". I wouldn't doubt that the average American has poor taste in beer anyways.
#23 shiningwolf88 Jul 26, 2011 14:34:04	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life. I would totally vote for you.
#24 trappedslider Jul 26, 2011 14:35:14	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life. You'd have to offer the non drinkers something too,otherwise you wouldn't get my vote...
#25 Klirshon Jul 26, 2011 14:54:45	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life. You'd have to offer the non {alcohol} drinkers something too,otherwise you wouldn't get my vote... Your statement has been adjusted to be more accurate. The probability of you being a human that doesn't consume liquid sustenance is astronomically low. Addition: Before any of you humans mentions it, I indeed understand that the phrase "astronomically low" is in fact an oxymoron.
#26 zombie_babies Jul 26, 2011 15:11:05	Non drinkers get free lrn2drink classes.
#27 homicidal_squirrel Jul 26, 2011 15:39:04	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life. I would totally vote for you. My campaign ad: Putting your tax dollars to excellent use. Have one on the government. Paid for by your squirrel masters.
#28 homicidal_squirrel Jul 26, 2011 15:42:37	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life. You'd have to offer the non drinkers something too,otherwise you wouldn't get my vote... How does a free fork in your eye sound?
#29 Klirshon Jul 26, 2011 15:47:52	It's already better than your competition.
#30 Cpt_Micha Jul 26, 2011 15:52:44	His competition helped me get the last bit of the cash for my Firebird and the parts I needed to make it california road trip worthy. :-p Free booze just doesn't stack up.
#31 Klirshon Jul 26, 2011 16:01:51	You actually prefer their advertisement campaigns?
#32 trappedslider Jul 26, 2011 16:17:01	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life. You'd have to offer the non drinkers something too,otherwise you wouldn't get my vote... How does a free fork in your eye sound? I was thinking something like this  or
#33 homicidal_squirrel Jul 26, 2011 16:40:05	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life. You'd have to offer the non drinkers something too,otherwise you wouldn't get my vote... How does a free fork in your eye sound? I was thinking something like this  or You're one of those lazy Socialist aren't you? I offer you a free fork... FREE... and you still want more.
#34 homicidal_squirrel Jul 26, 2011 16:44:16	His competition helped me get the last bit of the cash for my Firebird and the parts I needed to make it california road trip worthy. :-p Free booze just doesn't stack up.
#35 Cpt_Micha Jul 26, 2011 16:49:08	Now you're speaking my language. Oh and appoint me as a Judge you won't regret it!
#36 trappedslider Jul 26, 2011 16:55:32	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life. You'd have to offer the non drinkers something too,otherwise you wouldn't get my vote... How does a free fork in your eye sound? I was thinking something like this  or You're one of those lazy Socialist aren't you? I offer you a free fork... FREE... and you still want more.  well if you hadn't threatened to put it in my eye...
#37 homicidal_squirrel Jul 26, 2011 17:01:14	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life. You'd have to offer the non drinkers something too,otherwise you wouldn't get my vote... How does a free fork in your eye sound? I was thinking something like this  or You're one of those lazy Socialist aren't you? I offer you a free fork... FREE... and you still want more.  well if you hadn't threatened to put it in my eye... What are you talking about? Isn't that where you humans keep your forks?
#38 trappedslider Jul 26, 2011 17:02:50	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life. You'd have to offer the non drinkers something too,otherwise you wouldn't get my vote... How does a free fork in your eye sound? I was thinking something like this  or You're one of those lazy Socialist aren't you? I offer you a free fork... FREE... and you still want more.  well if you hadn't threatened to put it in my eye... What are you talking about? Isn't that were you humans keep your forks? no it isn't where we humans keep our forks..and has htis become a thing to see how many quotes we can cram into one post? lol
#39 homicidal_squirrel Jul 26, 2011 17:05:26	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life. You'd have to offer the non drinkers something too,otherwise you wouldn't get my vote... How does a free fork in your eye sound? I was thinking something like this  or You're one of those lazy Socialist aren't you? I offer you a free fork... FREE... and you still want more.  well if you hadn't threatened to put it in my eye... What are you talking about? Isn't that were you humans keep your forks? no it isn't where we humans keep our forks..and has htis become a thing to see how many quotes we can cram into one post? lol Are you sure humans don't keep forks in their eyes? We squirrels always keep our forks in human eyes.  As to the quotes. You could always delete all the extra text when you quote.
#40 trappedslider Jul 26, 2011 17:07:13	A lot of people would.  If the gov't gave out pisswater beer, some people (like me) would complain that it's not good enough.  If they gave out quality beer, some people would complain about how it's not "their" brand, while others would complain about the cost. You suck! I was planning on running for President and you've ruined my platform. I hope you get cruddy beer for the rest of your life. You'd have to offer the non drinkers something too,otherwise you wouldn't get my vote... How does a free fork in your eye sound? I was thinking something like this  or You're one of those lazy Socialist aren't you? I offer you a free fork... FREE... and you still want more.  well if you hadn't threatened to put it in my eye... What are you talking about? Isn't that were you humans keep your forks? no it isn't where we humans keep our forks..and has htis become a thing to see how many quotes we can cram into one post? lol Are you sure humans don't keep forks in their eyes? We squirrels always keep our forks in human eyes.  As to the quotes. You could always delete all the extra text when you quote. yes,i'm sure about the fact that humans don't keep forks in our eyes, and about the quotes, I'm enjoying this to xsee how many can go
#41 trappedslider Jul 26, 2011 18:45:10	You would. considering that this topic has drafted from underage drinking to the government should give out free beer to homicidal_squirrel wanting to running for president on that permise,to being threatened with a fork to the eye, I really don't see how bad of a topic derailment it is to see how many quotes you put into one post
#42 homicidal_squirrel Jul 26, 2011 18:47:11	You would. considering that this topic has drafted from underage drinking to the government should give out free beer to homicidal_squirrel wanting to running for president on that permise,to being threatened with a fork to the eye, I really don't see how bad of a topic derailment it is to see how many quotes you put into one post It wasn't a threat. I thought that is where you humans kept your forks.
#43 trappedslider Jul 26, 2011 18:49:15	You would. considering that this topic has drafted from underage drinking to the government should give out free beer to homicidal_squirrel wanting to running for president on that permise,to being threatened with a fork to the eye, I really don't see how bad of a topic derailment it is to see how many quotes you put into one post It wasn't a threat. I thought that is where you humans kept your forks.  okay to a misunderstanding of where humans keep forks
#44 grehnhewe Jul 26, 2011 19:08:47	I might vote for you H_S, who else is on the ticket? (Oh and I'll need a braille ballot- I've got this dang fork in my eye)
#45 homicidal_squirrel Jul 27, 2011 10:59:29	I might vote for you H_S, who else is on the ticket? (Oh and I'll need a braille ballot- I've got this dang fork in my eye) Hmmm... not sure yet. I was thinking about Iron Man. That guy knows how to party. Although I think he went to rehad. Never mind. No quitters allowed on this ticket.
#46 trappedslider Jul 27, 2011 17:20:01	I might vote for you H_S, who else is on the ticket? (Oh and I'll need a braille ballot- I've got this dang fork in my eye) Hmmm... not sure yet. I was thinking about Iron Man. That guy knows how to party. Although I think he went to rehad. Never mind. No quitters allowed on this ticket. If you understand where humans put forks,i may vote for you
#47 grehnhewe Jul 27, 2011 19:36:25	I might vote for you H_S, who else is on the ticket? (Oh and I'll need a braille ballot- I've got this dang fork in my eye) Hmmm... not sure yet. I was thinking about Iron Man. That guy knows how to party. Although I think he went to rehad. Never mind. No quitters allowed on this ticket. Robert Downey Jr. went to rehab, Ironman has a stripper pole in his lear jet.
#48 homicidal_squirrel Jul 27, 2011 20:07:19	I might vote for you H_S, who else is on the ticket? (Oh and I'll need a braille ballot- I've got this dang fork in my eye) Hmmm... not sure yet. I was thinking about Iron Man. That guy knows how to party. Although I think he went to rehad. Never mind. No quitters allowed on this ticket. Robert Downey Jr. went to rehab, Ironman has a stripper pole in his lear jet. I believe Tony Stark also had a drinking problem back in the day. He is clean and sober now. Useless. I need someone that can get the party started. I'm thinking of recruiting for the VP slot. Anyone want to toss their name in?
#49 grehnhewe Jul 27, 2011 20:14:34	It sound like a great job.  If you are elected, I might wield all sorts of power if you get run over.  If you do not get elected, I can bank it on books, spoken tours and maybe even a reality show.  Win Win.