I love D&D, where else will you find a legitimate opportunity to say “Ninjas don’t smoke crack”
– Said Mike to Christa in last night's game.
Situation 1: City guards are alerted and eventually some mages make it into the fray. Wife(W) dives off the rooftop and into an alley behind a bar.
W - I'm going to use these pickles to make a disguise. Do they see me?
Me - Yes, they see you wearing pickles on your face.
Situation 2: Party is at the bottom of a pit trap. CW is only one left at the top. keep in mind CW is playing a tiny little gnome with only average strength
W - I have rope. I will pull you guys up.
Mike - is the rope secure?
W - Yes
Mike - okay(starts to jump up on rope)
Rope starts to get slack and all of a sudden a little gnome comes falling down the hole and lands squarely on Mike's character with the rope tied around her waist.
Situation 3: Beginning of Ptolus campaign as neutral characters. We come upon a young woman being accosted by 2 men in an alley.
Mike - The woman is screaming as she is being terrorized by the 2 pale dogs before they kill her. What do you do?
W - I move silently up behind the one with his back to me.
Mike - ok, then what.
W - I pull out my dragon pistol and shoot him in the back of the head.
Situation 4: CW is a Vampire that recently made her first spawn. He gets injured in his first battle as undead.
W - Here take this(hands over Cure Moderate Wounds)
Spawn - okay(Chug - Fall - Dead)
Sigh, there are so many great moments.....may they continue to make us laugh.
Oh yeah, those wives can be so amusing! I'm so glad we let the little women out of the kitchen to play our games with us!
Well, you know, we game at the kitchen table just so she doesn't have to stop cooking. :P
We are considerate like that.
Well, you know, we game at the kitchen table just so she doesn't have to stop cooking. :P
We are considerate like that.
Wow, that is considerate! Do you turn up the heat so her bare feet don't get cold?
Well, you know, down here in the South its not so much of a problem with the cold. If it gets too bad I just get some of the slaves to throw some more wood in the fireplace though.
Well, you know, down here in the South its not so much of a problem with the cold. If it gets too bad I just get some of the slaves to throw some more wood in the fireplace though.
Here I was hoping you were going to say you get your slaves to throw some more slaves in the fire. :P
Oh yeah, those wives can be so amusing! I'm so glad we let the little women out of the kitchen to play our games with us!
Who's doing that? He's so out of the club. I'll expect whoever it is to turn his dong in immediately.
Well, you know, down here in the South its not so much of a problem with the cold. If it gets too bad I just get some of the slaves to throw some more wood in the fireplace though.
*nods* Of course! How considerate of you!
Who's doing that? He's so out of the club. I'll expect whoever it is to turn his dong in immediately.
Indeed, let them sit at the table and next thing you know they want the right to vote.
Who's doing that? He's so out of the club. I'll expect whoever it is to turn his dong in immediately.
Aw, but it obviously results in some hilarious stories ... I mean, isn't amusement worth it? Besides, they're so cute when they're rolling their little dice and trying to do math in their heads!
Aw, but it obviously results in some hilarious stories ... I mean, isn't amusement worth it? Besides, they're so cute when they're rolling their little dice and trying to do math in their heads!
ITS A WITCH! BURN HER!
Oh yeah, those wives can be so amusing! I'm so glad we let the little women out of the kitchen to play our games with us!
Haha, yeah.
But seriously, though, shouldn't you be cleaning or something?
Indeed, let them sit at the table and next thing you know they want the right to vote.
Damn skippy. Got to keep 'em knocked up. If you don't, this is the kind of crap you can expect. This guy must be a dope head. And I bet he doesn't go to church, neither!
Aw, but it obviously results in some hilarious stories ... I mean, isn't amusement worth it? Besides, they're so cute when they're rolling their little dice and trying to do math in their heads!
Women ain't s'posed to be cute, darlin'. They're supposed to be pretty and quiet. Very damned quiet. Lettin' 'em sit at the table with the menfolk'll put all sorts of ideas in their pretty little heads. That leads to confusion. No poor, confused woman can be properly obedient.
EDIT: Wow. This is surprisingly irritating to write. I guess that's a good thing. I also wanted to add a sort of disclaimer lest some poor new member show up and see me acting this way. He might get the right ... err, wrong ... idea about me. :P
Though the awesome thread derailment gets a big :heehee
*stirs stewpot*
*stirs stewpot*
Hey woman, what time is it?
(They still put clocks on stoves, right? :P)
Ninja'd by a girl. How shameful...
Almost dinner time, sugar. :P
Almost? Almost?! I been home for 10 minutes! Maybe if you'd spend less time puttin' curlers in your hair an' talkin' to them trampy friends of yours while you're sittin' on yer ass eatin' bon bons an' watchin' soaps you'd a' been ready. Unbelievable.
Ninja'd by a girl. How shameful...
You suck.
You suck.
You blow.
You blow.
Sounds like we'd make a great team, kiddo. I like your style. ;)
Almost? Almost?! I been home for 10 minutes! Maybe if you'd spend less time puttin' curlers in your hair an' talkin' to them trampy friends of yours while you're sittin' on yer ass eatin' bon bons an' watchin' soaps you'd a' been ready. Unbelievable.
Sorry, honey! Thought you liked my hair curly! *cries*
Sorry, honey! Thought you liked my hair curly! *cries*
That's what you get for thinking, I guess.
Also: what hair? :P
Sorry, honey! Thought you liked my hair curly! *cries*
What did I tell you about makin' changes without permision? Huh? I'm still payin' the damn hospital bills for that one. Wanna fall down the steps again? Do ya?
I didn't think so. Now get over here an' give me some sugar. You know, I spoil ya', hun.
That's what you get for thinking, I guess.
Ha!
What did I tell you about makin' changes without permision? Huh? I'm still payin' the damn hospital bills for that one. Wanna fall down the steps again? Do ya?
I didn't think so. Now get over here an' give me some sugar. You know, I spoil ya', hun.
You know zombies, you do that well. A little too well....
What did I tell you about makin' changes without permision? Huh? I'm still payin' the damn hospital bills for that one. Wanna fall down the steps again? Do ya?
I didn't think so. Now get over here an' give me some sugar. You know, I spoil ya', hun.
Oh, you do. I love you too, big daddy. *smooches*
EDIT: Did I just do a comedy skit about domestic violence?
You know zombies, you do that well. A little too well....
I have an odd sense of humor. I guess it's not translating. ;)
I have an odd sense of humor. I guess it's not translating. ;)
Is that it? Or is it because you're from the south?
Oh, you do. I love you too, big daddy. *smooches*
What the ... are you wearin' lipstick? Paintin' yer face all up like some hussy! And you're gettin' it all over my work shirt, too. Well, if it's laundry you like doin' so much, how 'bout some more! *proceeds to throw food all over her*
(Anyone else gettin' a bit uncomfortable? :P)
*cue 80's sitcom theme*
What the ... are you wearin' lipstick? Paintin' yer face all up like some hussy! And you're gettin' it all over my work shirt, too. Well, if it's laundry you like doin' so much, how 'bout some more! *proceeds to throw food all over her*
(Anyone else gettin' a bit uncomfortable? :P)
LOL. ... yeah.
"End Scene" :P
You gotta learn when to fade out. On the kissing couple would have been the most funny.
Is that it? Or is it because you're from the south?
I been a Yank all my life. I hate that term, though, as I'm from Cleveland originally. It's my sworn duty as a Tribe fan to hate anything in black and white pinstripes.
I been a Yank all my life. I hate that term, though, as I'm from Cleveland originally. It's my sworn duty as a Tribe fan to hate anything in black and white pinstripes.
Even zebras?
That's our ZombieBabies!
*cue 80's sitcom theme*
Man, you're on a roll today. Who are you and what have you done with our normally not that funny Rake? :P :D
LOL. ... yeah.
"End Scene" :P
You gotta learn when to fade out. On the kissing couple would have been the most funny.
Thank the gods. That was fun and all. It was just a little ... *shudder*. ;)
Even zebras?
How dare you utter that word in my presence?!
:P
Man, you're on a roll today. Who are you and what have you done with our normally not that funny Rake? :P :D
Ha..ha. Wh..at? I don't know what you-GLEEMAX, GLEEMAX, GLEEMAX!
ZEBRA ZEBRA ZEBRA!!
That's it, woman! :P
Ha..ha. Wh..at? I don't know what you-GLEEMAX, GLEEMAX, GLEEMAX!
And ......... he's back.
I been a Yank all my life. I hate that term, though, as I'm from Cleveland originally. It's my sworn duty as a Tribe fan to hate anything in black and white pinstripes.
I thought it was everyone's duty who wasn't from NY to hate anything in black and white pinstripes.
And ......... he's back.
You know, I give, and I give, and it's just never enough for you f_cking people.
I thought it was everyone's duty who wasn't from NY to hate anything in black and white pinstripes.
That works, too. :D
Off Topic:
It's been said that the two happiest days in the life of a boat owner are the day he buys it and the day he sells the thing. Does that apply to marriage? Are the happiest days of a marriage the day you get married and the day you sell your spouse on the black market?
You know, I give, and I give, and it's just never enough for you f_cking people.
Well, you do try. *pats head*
That works, too. :D
Off Topic:
It's been said that the two happiest days in the life of a boat owner are the day he buys it and the day he sells the thing. Does that apply to marriage? Are the happiest days of a marriage the day you get married and the day you sell your spouse on the black market?
It's been said that the two happiest days in the life of a boat owner are the day he buys it and the day he sells the thing. Does that apply to marriage? Are the happiest days of a marriage the day you get married and the day you sell your spouse on the black market?
I'll let you know after my buyer gets back to me. ;)
I'll let you know after my buyer gets back to me. ;)
Fantastic.
Hey, nice conversation. WHy don't you take it to your own thread.
Hey, nice.. um.. post, or.. whatever, and stuff. Why don't you take it to your own thread?
Hey, nice conversation. WHy don't you take it to your own thread.
It is a sometimes unfortunate reality that all threads "belong" to the community. Once it gets past the OP, no claim of ownership can be made. Things evolve. They devolve, too. Such is the nature of teh interwebz. So sayeth .... somebody.
It is a sometimes unfortunate reality that all threads "belong" to the community. Once it gets past the OP, no claim of ownership can be made. Things evolve. They devolve, too. Such is the nature of teh interwebz. So sayeth .... somebody.
Also, this is the OTT
Derailments are our specialty.
It is a sometimes unfortunate reality that all threads "belong" to the community. Once it gets past the OP, no claim of ownership can be made. Things evolve. They devolve, too. Such is the nature of teh interwebz. So sayeth .... somebody.
lolol u pwned him
he can't even spell phantom. more like soulphandumb! right? right? right guys? haha
It is a sometimes unfortunate reality that all threads "belong" to the community. Once it gets past the OP, no claim of ownership can be made. Things evolve. They devolve, too. Such is the nature of teh interwebz. So sayeth .... somebody.
My original response:
"Because it's the OTT and our conversation is more entertaining and less condescending than your OP. :P"
But yours is nicer ... which is weird. You're usually meaner than I am.
What bizarro world is this?!? Who are you?
What bizarro world is this?!? Who are you?
It's a robot. The real ZombieBabies was never this funny.
Question is, do we kill it, or do we kill the original? On the one hand, the robot is almost certianly evil. On the other hand, the robot is actually funny. Hm...
My original response:
"Because it's the OTT and our conversation is more entertaining and less condescending than your OP."
But yours is nicer ... which is weird. You're usually meaner than I am.
What bizarro world is this?!? Who are you?
Seems the Tavern is corrupting you nicely. :D
Let's just say that sometimes I'm a bit more Freddy than Mel. Today I'm in a Mel kind of mood. Well, that's just not true now, is it? Ok, it's more like at that one random moment in our shared time I was more Mel than Freddy. ;)
It's a robot. The real ZombieBabies was never this funny.
Question is, do we kill it, or do we kill the original? On the one hand, the robot is almost certianly evil. On the other hand, the robot is actually funny. Hm...
I say we kill the ****er.
But they're both evil ... so ... I say we put 'em in a cage and let 'em fight it out.
TO THE DEATH!!
Two Zombie_Babies enter, one Zombie_Babies leaves.
Well, I always vote for the evil one. :D
But they're both evil ... so ... I say we put 'em in a cage and let 'em fight it out.
TO THE DEATH!!
I'm with you on this. I'll set up betting. WE CAN MAKE A KILLING.
My original response:
"Because it's the OTT and our conversation is more entertaining and less condescending than your OP. :P"
But yours is nicer ... which is weird. You're usually meaner than I am.
What bizarro world is this?!? Who are you?
Condescending??
I am stating how great it is to play with my wife and I wouldn't want to play in one without her anymore. How is that condescending?
What's condescending is self-righteous forum trolls that flame everyone because they think that their opinions are better than everyone elses.
Condescending??
I am stating how great it is to play with my wife and I wouldn't want to play in one without her anymore. How is that condescending?
What's condescending is self-righteous forum trolls that flame everyone because they think that their opinions are better than everyone elses.
Uh-oh
(you might want to watch the troll calling, it's against CoC)
Condescending??
I am stating how great it is to play with my wife and I wouldn't want to play in one without her anymore. How is that condescending?
What's condescending is self-righteous forum trolls that flame everyone because they think that their opinions are better than everyone elses.
Its a derailment. I will be honest. If you can't deal with a massive derailing of your thread, then the OTT is probably not the place you want to be posting. Its not for everyone. Consult your doctor before trying the OTT.
Do not take OTT if you have heart disease or are or may be pregnant.
Condescending??
I am stating how great it is to play with my wife and I wouldn't want to play in one without her anymore. How is that condescending?
What's condescending is self-righteous forum trolls that flame everyone because they think that their opinions are better than everyone elses.
Whatever, bro, we're way less self-righteous than you.
Show
Psst! Viewers at home: we've secretly replaced the forums' usual self-righteousness with irony! Let's see if our peers can tell the difference!
Oh wait, you were serious. *cough* Sorry, is this the point where I'm supposed to get defensive? OK, I'll try ...
... nope. Can't do it.
Well, I always vote for the evil one. :D
But they're both evil ... so ... I say we put 'em in a cage and let 'em fight it out.
TO THE DEATH!!
Two Zombie_Babies enter, one Zombie_Babies leaves.
I'm down. Care if I go Greco with myself?
What's condescending is self-righteous forum trolls that flame everyone because they think that their opinions are better than everyone elses.
I can honestly say that none of the people posting in this thread are the type of person you claim. You came across a certain way and were responded to the way you were for two reasons. One, it's how you struck people. Two, it's how the OTT is. We joke. We kid. We destroy threads within the span of three posts. We beat jokes into the ground. It's what we do. So it appears that it was a sad coincidence, really.
Whatever, bro, we're way less self-righteous than you.ShowPsst! Viewers at home: we've secretly replaced the forums' usual self-righteousness with irony! Let's see if our peers can tell the difference!
The derailment isn't even what really bothers me. It's other people thinking that they have any right to judge me or my relationship to my wife. I was simply reminiscing with one of my friends and my wife, laughing and joking. So I figured it would be funny to share with everyone else.
I didn't see any judging myself. I saw a reaction to a post that was a joke and then more jokes fired off in response to it. Nothing more.
I'm down. Care if I go Greco with myself?
Lemme set up the cameras first.
I can honestly say that none of the people posting in this thread are the type of person you claim. You came across a certain way and were responded to the way you were for two reasons. One, it's how you struck people. Two, it's how the OTT is. We joke. We kid. We destroy threads within the span of three posts. We beat jokes into the ground. It's what we do. So it appears that it was a sad coincidence, really.
YOU ARE A ROBOT!! (But what he said. :P)
The derailment isn't even what really bothers me. It's other people thinking that they have any right to judge me or my relationship to my wife. I was simply reminiscing with one of my friends and my wife, laughing and joking. So I figured it would be funny to share with everyone else.
Hookay, so. It appears that you have interpreted 'derailing' as though it had something to do with 'judging'.
I won't ask how you arrived at this conclusion, because that's inviting a debate nobody here intends to have with you! Just understand that the conclusion is false, laugh off the fate of the poor, hijacked thread, and have a chuckle at domestic abuse with us.
Lemme set up the cameras first.
If that's how it's gonna be .... I'll help. :P
YOU ARE A ROBOT!! (But what he said. :P)
Does not compute.
Apparently, we're in some crazy rift in the space-time continuum where everybody keeps getting switched around!
Yeah. It's kinda groovy, ain't it. It's all ... purple and .... sweet.
Apparently, we're in some crazy rift in the space-time continuum where everybody keeps getting switched around!
Oh! Me next!
ZOMG look at me I have lawn-mowered hair and I think I'm still feminine! Isn't it adorable!
Ok who am I!? : D
Is it wrong that I wanted to make a 'hello boys' comment after the 'you suck' 'you blow' exchange?
Bwahahahaha. No, it's awesome. :D
Oh! Me next!
ZOMG look at me I have lawn-mowered hair and I think I'm still feminine! Isn't it adorable!
Ok who am I!? : D
pigknight?
Is it wrong that I wanted to make a 'hello boys' comment after the 'you suck' 'you blow' exchange?
The only thing wrong about it is that you didn't. ;)
Man, this place does seem to bring something out of people, don't it. :D
I can see so many future posts prefaced with "I wasn't always like this ...". Hell, we may need a support group eventually. Hi, my name is Zombie_Babies and I'm an OTTer ...
Is it wrong that I wanted to make a 'hello boys' comment after the 'you suck' 'you blow' exchange?
That had to be a page ago. Have you been holding that back this whole time? : P
"I wasn't always like this ..."
That should be the title of a thread.
That had to be a page ago. Have you been holding that back this whole time? : P
I think he might have been reviewing the thread, not here when it actually happened.
I can see so many future posts prefaced with "I wasn't always like this ...". Hell, we may need a support group eventually. Hi, my name is Zombie_Babies and I'm an OTTer ...
Shouldn't that be "Hi, my name is Zombie_Babies, and I've been OTTed..." ?
That had to be a page ago. Have you been holding that back this whole time? : P
That's why I didn't post it. I was avoiding the thread 'cause I figured it couldn't end well, but eventually my curiosity won out and I found it was funny instead of serious. But it was too late to get in on it...
That had to be a page ago. Have you been holding that back this whole time? : P
Well, you know, it can just be so short if you don't hold back... I mean, sometimes a quicky is OK... but its not ideal :P
That should be the title of a thread.
Make it so.
Shouldn't that be "Hi, my name is Zombie_Babies, and I've been OTTed..." ?
Hmm. I was kind of here when all of the insanity started. I was a frequent poster in the political threads before we were sanitized. I stuck around after and feel that I helped make the place what it is today. So I think I may have helped OTT some people, but I've not been OTTd myself. Not that it's something I'm terribly opposed to, just not how I feel it all went down, ya' know? I could be wrong, though. Maybe I was OTTd. Who knows? The guy that OTTd me, that's who.
Now you have been. :P
*OTTs Zombie_Babies*
Now you have been. :P
Woot! I don't think that's how EE meant it typically happens, but I know I prefer this method. ;)
My way doesn't sound nearly as dirty. :P
You say dirty like its a bad thing.
You put some tone in my post. His way does sound more dirty than mine. Getting sweaty makes you dirty.
Well, you know, tone over the internet. :D
But you know, after getting sweaty with someone its always a good time to get clean with them.
Oh yeah, those wives can be so amusing! I'm so glad we let the little women out of the kitchen to play our games with us!
says the housewife.
It's only dirty when it's done right.
Woody Allen?!
Woody Allen?!
/shrug
I think I got it from a Heinlein book.
/shrug
I think I got it from a Heinlein book.
It is a Woody Allen quote. You know how quotes are... they propagate and eventually no one really knows who said them.
It is a Woody Allen quote. You know how quotes are... they propagate and eventually no one really knows who said them.
Glad to hear it!
Normally I'm good at remembering things - but very bad at remembering where I got it from/who said it first. 