In this thread, everyone gets to post a form of punishment that goes on in Gamer Hell.
As I am the thread's creator I get to pick two off the bat.
Being forced to play Cygirls for all eternity.
And being forced to watch the D&D movie for all eternity.
Post your punishments to those sinners! :D
You are an NPC in a game. Forced to stand in one place and say the same thing over and over.
You are trapped in an icy cage with only a box of matches, some (wooden) dice and two of your beloved rulebooks. Every day, someone brings you food, and every month, someone brings you another sourcebook.
Both of these are pretty terrible.
forced to play a 3rd ed fighter in an 8-player level 40 epic campaign using only core books. every other player is a wizard/cleric/druid with access to all splats.
forced to DM to a group full of Steves and Teds (not the flayer ted, the annoying human one). the game is appropriately called D&D: D-bags & D-heads.
chips, chips, everywhere but not a pop to drink...
That is all.
You are forced to play GURPS
You are forced to play F.A.T.A.L
You are forced to play GURPS
hey now... don't be bashing my baby GURPS.
GURPS is a game engine in that it gives you all you need to play. it requires a GM that actually knows what he's doing to set limits based on the overall power of the game. a well GM'ed game of GURPS is probably one of the best games i can ever wish to play.
a badly run game of GURPS though? yeah... now THAT is hell.
Ouch... that's just cruel ZB.
Well, it is hell. :D
Happy ending is implied...
-Forced to sprint across a field of salted d4's while being chased by rabid fanboys that think you're a nymph handing out free Magic cards.
-You play a fairly straightforward hack n' slash campaign...for every wound the character suffers, in like fashion, so too the player. Typically this will be implemented by judicious use of paper cuts form the character sheet in question to add that little extra metaphorical pazazz. Small dmg might be several across the hands, etc. Beware crits & your naughty bits.
-You must fabricate your own dice by gall & kidney stones and when you roll them, well...even a natural '20' is gonna' feel like a '1' every time.
Coincidentally, gamers that drink alot of caffeine get these often. Not the healthiest demographic to be sure of.
-Forced to indoctrinate & have retention of D&D mechanics to a bunch of ADHD 6 yr olds w/ bullhorns that are on a pure sucrose & LSD drip 24/7.
....mialee has got to be the UGLIEST elf i have ever seen... although im a chick and would never marry her.... just.....UGH!
Sorry, but in Gamer Hell you would marry her. She'd be the "guy" in your relationship, too. ;)
That's what I meant. I personally hate GURPS. I played a poorly run game. I refuse to even look at a book of it now. It took forever for everyone to kinda get the rules and make the characters. (5 hours!) And then it was 10, and we all had to go home! YAY!
gotcha.
poorly run GURPS is actually hell... i'm just glad our GM knew the game very well. we also took forever when making our characters, but that's normal for my group as we use the first session to flesh our characters & their motivations for adventuring or at least hanging out together.
nothing spoils the game as much as a spontaneously created party that contains: a cleric of pelor, a paladin of heironeous, a necromancer of nerull who loves hims some zombies& the chaotic-stupid-fighter-who-kills-npcs-for-no-reason-cause-it-says-CN-on-his-sheet.
the guy? NOOOOO!!
Gamer Hell is not a good place to be. :D
With no one to play with.
On the day you enter Gamer Hell, Gamer Satan will inform you of an arranged marriage that will take place in mere moments. Your betrothed? Mialee. She's Gamer Satan's daughter, you know. And he wants grandbabies. Like yesterday. ;)
Actually, that's not that bad, cuz at least you get something ;) . Can I get some votes for this in the "Most mild gamer hell ever"?
I'm sorry DM for I have sinned....I rolled a d12 instead of a d10.
Every game table has one leg an inch shorter than the rest, so it wobbles.
Every die has rounded or chipped corners, and the ink in the numbers very closely matches the color of the die.
Every glued binding on a rulebook is coming undone with pages slipping out.
Every duffle bag that game supplies get transported in is ripping out at the bottom, has a broken zipper, and is missing a carry strap.
Every pencil has a broken lead, and is missing the eraser, and every pen is out of ink.
Every pizza is cold, has anchovies and banana peppers.
Every soda flat, warm and is diet moxie.
I kinda sniffled at post #20 ;).
Every game you DM (or play in) has a power gamer, a gamer girlfriend, and a rules lawyer.
...or a gamer boyfriend... and a misogynist that passes all kinds of rules about female gamers at their table, the clothes they wear.... and on and on....
...I'm kidding.
Girls are to wear maid outfits.
But never get a thing for you. Instead they yell at you to get up off you fat ass and get it yourself. And the yelling is loud. Really loud and annoying.
shudder
Every room has a broken heater / air conditioner so it is always uncomfortably hot or cold.
Every lighting fixture has at least one burnt out light bulb.
Every stick of deodorant fails to work.
Every bathroom appears as if the last person to use it was not actually a person but a group of ADHD addled kindergarten boys that left the seat down and had no aim.
Every bathroom is also out of toilet paper, and the scented plug ins don't work.
You have access to every rulebook you want, every mini, every battle map, every dice and enough Cheetos and Mountain Dew to feed orcs for eternity. There's also a great place, music source and collection, props and everything else.
With no one to play with.
GOOD GOD!!!! you just described where I am currently residing!!
oh, but I think Mialee is hot!!!Mialee's even uglier than an anorexic skinny man riddled with acne scars.
In Gamer Hell, people shall be forced to watch the censored version of the Bloodrayne "Movie" with the only good five minutes of the movie totally deleted.
In gamer hell....
Every room has a broken heater / air conditioner so it is always uncomfortably hot or cold.
Worse - it's too hot and too cold at the same time!
didn't she like... get ambushed by the ugly squad, beaten with the ugly bat, dropped in front of an oncoming ugly train, get thrown onto an ugly tree, hit every ugly branch on the way down, get picked up by the ugly rescue van (which promptly forgot to close the back doors flinging her body down the ugly street), then get botched facial reconstruction surgery done...
or something?
i could be wrong... but not even Maury or Oprah could help that girl...
You awaken to what appears to be a normal day. It's also - bonus! - the day your group normally gathers to play some D&D! Yay! When you arrive at the host's house, though, something just isn't right. You announce yourself as you enter the door and round the corner to see your pals gathered at the gaming table. They're smiling and chatting away, getting all of their stuff ready to game. When your best pal looks towards you, though, his face immediately drops and turns ghost-white. He lets out a small whimper that draws the attention of the rest of the gathering. They all look from him to you. And then they begin to scream. Before you can even ask what's happening, they're long gone. Befuddled, you try to follow them to see what's caused all of this. It couldn't be a joke, they looked genuinely horrifed. As you walk through the hall towards the back door, you pass the bathroom. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of yourself - only it's not you. You look closer. It can't be! But, alas, it is. You are Mialee. And you are in Gamer Hell. Good luck makin' new friends now you ugly bastard. ;)
this is truly hell (and the temperature in the summer is around 120-140 degrees ) Mialee is definatly hot..the tiefling lass...now thats foul. :Dbeing wielded by a raptor on a hoverboard fighting off hordes of zombie robot ninja pirates.
now that's hot.
mialee is only hot if copious amounts of gasoline propelled through a hose onto a lit pilot light is involved.
being wielded by a raptor on a hoverboard fighting off hordes of zombie robot ninja pirates.
now that's hot.
That is just so many ways of awesome!
You sir have won the internet
man i love a slow workweek.
.I dont even have a poster of mialee to hang on the wall I had to change my avatar to show my support to the sexiest elf in fantasy :D
That's all sorts of f-ed up, man.
Every rulebook is a first run print with no errata provided. Wherever a sentence references a page number, instead it says XX, because the editors hadn't bothered fixing those pesky page numbers before they went to print.
Every floor has had soda spilled on it so it is tacky, sticky, and smells bad.
Every table is a different size so when you pull them together they don't match, and lips exist between tables for dice to go tumbling to the floor through.
Every chair has been sat in by somebody that grossly exceeds the posted weight limit and has consequently developed a forward lean.
Every room is only slightly larger than the table in it where people are playing so every time one person has to get up to go to the bathroom, everyone between them and the door has to get up and move.
There's no booze in gamer hell.
All games must be played with the new d100 dice pool system. Average pool size is 100 dice.
For the guys: In Gamer Hell, your member is actually a mini Mialee. You get to see/hear her every time you need to use it. For anything.
For the gals: Every child you bear from your union with Mialee will be Mialee.
For everyone: Every man and woman in Gamer Hell has Mialee's face. You are still somehow the most hideous being in Gamer Hell.
EDIT: My "for the gals" really could apply to everyone so I changed it to reflect that and added a new "for the gals".
There's no smoking in gamer hell. (I quit myself, but I can't imagine D&D without smokes.)
There's no booze in gamer hell.
All games must be played with the new d100 dice pool system. Average pool size is 100 dice.
For the guys: In Gamer Hell, your member is actually a mini Mialee. You get to see/hear her every time you need to use it. For anything.
For the gals: Every man and woman in Gamer Hell has Mialee's face. You are still somehow the most hideous being in Gamer Hell.
OH MY DEAR GOD NO.
I can't imagine D&D without smokes either, and if my "member" was Mialee....well, as I said before, OH MY DEAR GOD NO!!!
I may be compelled to start a pro Mialee thread...seriously whats not to like...long legs...long ears..mmmm :P the elfy sexiness is just overwhelming :D
I dunno. I guess most of us just aren't physically attracted to your garden variety cricket. :P
Every game store is out of core rule books and only has supplements.
Everyone starts a conversation about their favorite anime series the first time they see you again after any amount of time away that exceeds two minutes.
No pizza places deliver.
Every game uses gender based attribute bonuses based on a home brew system.
mialee? hot?
didn't she like... get ambushed by the ugly squad, beaten with the ugly bat, dropped in front of an oncoming ugly train, get thrown onto an ugly tree, hit every ugly branch on the way down, get picked up by the ugly rescue van (which promptly forgot to close the back doors flinging her body down the ugly street), then get botched facial reconstruction surgery done...
or something?
i could be wrong... but not even Maury or Oprah could help that girl...
Wrong. She was used to make the ugly tree ugly.
@ Vebrandsson: Edition bashing ain't cool.
@ Vebrandsson: Edition bashing ain't cool.
......when it's done in hell. ;)
......when it's done in hell. ;)
I'm thinking a lot of people owe a lot of other people a lot of things. Speaking of, where are those cheerleaders from highschool...
To contribute.... You're set up with a group. They all seem normal. Until you notice that they all play:
Chaotic good...
Drow...
Rangers...
With scimitars.
That's what I meant. I personally hate GURPS. I played a poorly run game. I refuse to even look at a book of it now. It took forever for everyone to kinda get the rules and make the characters. (5 hours!) And then it was 10, and we all had to go home! YAY!
I play Traveller, both T20 and Mongoose's new edition, and the GURPS Traveller books make for great sourcebooks, especially for ship blueprints/maps. My group's still arguing about whether to buy a used Hero-class Free Trader or a used Beowulf-class one.
Every player, in every group, you play with is a bunch of immature douches that always play chaotic evil characters.
I fail to see how this is different than my F.A.T.A.L. hell, sans LARPing.
In Gamer Hell, you are forced to watch Batman & Robin.
@ Aardwolf: you have.....an odd taste in women.
@ Vebrandsson: Edition bashing ain't cool.
I will point out that you just acknowledged that she is in fact a woman :D
but it isn't a woman!
I don't know. I think that Mialee actually being a woman and still looking the way she does is far more disconcerting than if she were really an it. A Beholder, for example, is ugly as hell. But it's supposed to be. Elves, otoh, are generally supposed to have at least some sort of humanoid look to them. Mialee, in missing that, is far uglier because of it. She wasn't supposed to be a hideous train-wreck of an elf, but she is anyway. That's why her case is so shocking.
to Mialee. Everyone remember. Say no to Mialee kids!
Don't do Mialee!
but it isn't a woman!
She's a man, baby! Yeah!
Either that (Bill) or a crack about "The Crying Game" seems apt about now.
It puts the lotion on its skin...
Either that (Bill) or a crack about "The Crying Game" seems apt about now.
Goddammit. Good stuff, ghost. Good stuff.She's a man, baby! Yeah!
In gamer hell. Mialee is your stalker.
Precious? Precious?! ;)
Thanks. I take it you saw Jay's homage to Bill in "Clerks 2"? Holy sh-t. You know, less is more...
Coincidentally, given drow racial predilections, how would they regard lady 'M' and her, uh, asthetic deficiency, to put it politely?
You know there's a drider 'baitin' in the Underdark going, "Yeah, I'd hit it."
In gamer hell. Mialee is your stalker.
I'm fine with that. The butt ass ugly ones are always the best in bed. With how ugly Mialee is I don't think she'll ever say no to anything. :D
There is always an ugly and socially inept guy at the table that ogles you all night, and touches you inappropriately, against your will, after each session.
And this is regardless of your sex or lifestyle choices, correct?
And this is regardless of your sex or lifestyle choices, correct?
Yep. :D
Gamer Hell is 24/7 F.A.T.A.L.. LARPing.
I was stuck in a particularly hellish project at work a few months ago. A friend called me to see how it was going and my reply was. "I'd rather be LARPing F.A.T.A.L.!"
I was stuck in a particularly hellish project at work a few months ago. A friend called me to see how it was going and my reply was. "I'd rather be LARPing F.A.T.A.L.!"
With the combination of its focus on... well things that shouldn't be mentioned in polite company... and its fanbase (assuredly no women)... the thought of a LARP of F.A.T.A.L. seems as though it would be a frightening prospect...
You have access to every rulebook you want, every mini, every battle map, every dice and enough Cheetos and Mountain Dew to feed orcs for eternity. There's also a great place, music source and collection, props and everything else.
With no one to play with.
I don't know that anyone can top that.
I don't know that anyone can top that.
It could be worse I suppose. Picture that exact same scenario, except the only other person in the room is Jack Chick... weilding a sledgehammer (and/or flamethrower). You are forced to watch helplessly (and listen to his rants) until everything in the room is destroyed, at which point it resets and starts all over again.
@Aardwolf: There's no DnD gamers near you?? In Japan??? That is so not l337!! :$
I am currently stuck in Bahrain...I havent figured out that whole changing location thing yet.
No one has any extra character sheets.
The dice never stop on the table and always fall on the floor.
All dice are the same color as the color of the floor.
Nobody shuts off their cell phones before the game.
You are constantly hit on by all of the other players at the table, without regard for your interest, orientation, relationship status or age.
You are constantly hit on by all of the other players at the table, without regard for your interest, orientation, relationship status or age.
Did somebody have a bad experience? :P
In gamer hell, while you're at the table you are forever hungry and thirsty no matter how much you eat and drink.
Did somebody have a bad experience? :P
...experienced some, and seen many other people experience the same.
In Gamer Hell....
French fries are soggy and over salted and there is no ketchup in the refrigerator.
The rules lawyers failed their bar exams.
The min/maxers can't add.
There is always grounds in your coffee.
The bathroom is always out of TP.
In gamer hell, everyone must play and put up with dirtyfrank's rancid smell.
It could be worse I suppose. Picture that exact same scenario, except the only other person in the room is Jack Chick... weilding a sledgehammer (and/or flamethrower). You are forced to watch helplessly (and listen to his rants) until everything in the room is destroyed, at which point it resets and starts all over again.
Nah, seeing the whack-job do the whack job could be kinda fun. It's not like DnD manuals are my Tora or Quran and he wouldn't smash Bible anyway. ;P
Besides, he would have more problems with my church and music than game.
In Gamer Hell the only available setting is Soviet Russia. That's a setting that plays you!
Long detailed character back stories are required, and never used or referenced.
A girl would get arrested for beating the
out of anyone who gropes her at the table.A girl would get arrested for beating the
Good, because the women in gamer hell have been abusing nerdy men for too long in gamer hell. It's about time that socially inept nerds got protected by Asmodeus' laws. :P
In gamer hell, every game is a LARP and everything is fully acted out. No skipping over detail, and no fading to black during the mushy romantic scenes.
In gamer hell everyone is nude.
Doesn't sound too bad to me, I know on some hot humid summer days our group has been darn near.
And all the guys are fat 'n ugly.
When coupled with the first one that would stink, but it could still be fun. ;)
Doesn't sound too bad to me, I know on some hot humid summer days our group has been darn near.
When coupled with the first one that would stink, but it could still be fun. ;)
Fun, as in you can make fun of all the fat, ugly and insecure guys? Gees Minja, you have a cold heart. :P
Ummm...define "fun."
Eating ice cream sandwiches?
Oh yeah....
In Gamer Hell....
There is no ice cream. Anywhere. Ever.
Hell? Or heaven? :P
If it was heaven then we gamer guys would be serviced. :D
Are you saying that you would rather pick on me rather than be kind to me?
What are we picking off of you? :D
Are you saying that you would rather pick on me rather than be kind to me?
Nope.
Nope.
Then what are ye say'n?
I can take the picking. If all you boys want to pick on little ole defenseless me, go ahead.
Defenseless ol' you my ass. You box for fun. :P
Defenseless ol' you my ass. You box for fun. :P
Yeah, you are right, I am not really all that defenseless.
In Gamer Hell...
The Steelers win the Superbowl every year.
The Steelers win the Superbowl every year.
NNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
But theres a silver lining. Your playing an Awesome DND game of your favorite edition with Gary Gygax as DM and all your closest DND playing friends as PC's..........................
But unfortunately you cant here a single thing thats going on and everyone else is blissfully unaware of this fact.
In gamer hell you have an Ipod super-glued into your ears. Its on a constant loop of Gwen Stefani,Hillary Duff and Lindsay Lohan. (Note: The Ipod has been given a never-ending battery to prolong the torture) Any attempt to remove the headphones, change the song or tamper with the Ipod will result in removal or Nails,Teeth, Toes and so on in that order.
But theres a silver lining. Your playing an Awesome DND game of your favorite edition with Gary Gygax as DM and all your closest DND playing friends as PC's..........................
But unfortunately you cant here a single thing thats going on and everyone else is blissfully unaware of this fact.
This situation is what sign language is for.
Yeah, you are right, I am not really all that defenseless.
In Gamer Hell...
The Steelers win the Superbowl every year.
But it wouldn't be as bad as the Patriots Winning The Superbowl Every year. That is what happens, truly in Gamer Hell.
Bonus hell.
Detroit Lions winning the Super Bowl Every Year.
In Gamer Hell, every computer runs Windows ME.
In Gamer Hell, whenever you try to look up a rule in a sourcebook the rule is smudged to the point of being unreadable, even if it is a digital copy.
In Gamer Hell, every character is limited to the commoner class except for the DMPC.
Detroit Lions winning the Super Bowl Every Year.
I thought we were talking about Gamer Hell, not the Twilight Zone.
I thought we were talking about Gamer Hell, not the Twilight Zone.
It's a bad thing because it violates all forms of probability and reason.
And thus interferes with your die rolls.
I figured with the 0-16 season and no gaming group this is the perfect definition of gamer hell....and I have such shiny new 4ed goodness.
I appear to be batting 0 here, not only do I think Mialee is hot, but I have been a Detroit Lions fan since I was old enough to watch football.
I figured with the 0-16 season and no gaming group this is the perfect definition of gamer hell....and I have such shiny new 4ed goodness.
Are you human?
Are you human?
It is apparently debateable :D
I think he suffers from a form of imprinting where he falls in love with the first thing he sees, those two things must have been Mialee and then a Lions game.
aardwolf doesn't know better he's an android...
I think he suffers from a form of imprinting where he falls in love with the first thing he sees, those two things must have been Mialee and then a Lions game.
That poor sick bastard. He is already in hell but he doesn't know it.
Edit: Does that make it not-hell?
So in a way he's constantly deprived of the two things he loves most. Or he's forever doomed to see one of those things consistently Fail At Life.
That poor sick bastard. He is already in hell but he doesn't know it.
Edit: Does that make it not-hell?
but she is so sexy. I mean that physique is tight! and there have been some damn good Lions teams over the decades...Barry Sanders was awesome!
But yeah, no gaming sucks!!!
but she is so sexy. I mean that physique is tight! and there have been some damn good Lions teams over the decades...Barry Sanders was awesome!
But yeah, no gaming sucks!!!
Good by Lions standards, not good by NFL standards :P
I keep thinking at one point the Lions played against a College Football Team and lost at one point? (it was an exhibition game?)
but she is so sexy. I mean that physique is tight! and there have been some damn good Lions teams over the decades...Barry Sanders was awesome!
But yeah, no gaming sucks!!!
Well with Barry Sanders (who really is a good player...) they did manage to get to the playoffs a good bit... but they still never really went anywhere in them.
Anyway, in Gamer Hell.
The only game in town is an overly angsty emo "storydriven" game of Vampire: The Masquerade homebrewed into the setting of Twilight.
(on a note, I do like WoD... just not the of the "OMG DARK WE ARE AWESOME" style games)
Almost.
In Gamer Hell, you are forced to play Ninety Nine Knights.
In gamer hell you have an Ipod super-glued into your ears. Its on a constant loop of Gwen Stefani,Hillary Duff and Lindsay Lohan. (Note: The Ipod has been given a never-ending battery to prolong the torture) Any attempt to remove the headphones, change the song or tamper with the Ipod will result in removal or Nails,Teeth, Toes and so on in that order.
Umm.. I like Gwen Stefani, and some Hillary Duff, and one Lindsay Lohan song. That really wouldn't be all that much hell to me, at least any more than listening to looped songs from any artist.
@ Touchfuzzy.... I also like playing Vampire, and have played in a very angsty group, in small doses it was actually pretty fun. Some of the LARP groups I've been to, well it can be like entering the Twilight.... Zone. :P
In Gamer Hell....
Walk.... description.... fight.... get treasure..... heal..... walk.... repeat....
All of cinema would be low quality high budget remakes of foreign films...
oh wait, we are there.Umm.. I like Gwen Stefani, and some Hillary Duff, and one Lindsay Lohan song. That really wouldn't be all that much hell to me, at least any more than listening to looped songs from any artist.
@ Touchfuzzy.... I also like playing Vampire, and have played in a very angsty group, in small doses it was actually pretty fun. Some of the LARP groups I've been to, well it can be like entering the Twilight.... Zone. :P
Are you in Gamer Hell already or are you just preparing?
Are you in Gamer Hell already or are you just preparing?
I don't think so, I like my gamer... ness.
In Gamer Hell....
There is no soap, there is no deodorant, there is only black trench coats.
...there are no girls...
...at all!
In Gamer Hell...
...there are no girls...
...at all!
So in gamer hell women become men?
There's no girls. AT ALL.
How is that any different from any college of engineering?
Edit: Also how is that any different from most gaming groups?
@ Touchfuzzy.... I also like playing Vampire, and have played in a very angsty group, in small doses it was actually pretty fun. Some of the LARP groups I've been to, well it can be like entering the Twilight.... Zone. :P
Oh, god... Vampire Larps... AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Sorry, the players in the ones in Athens just ARE all the bad stereotypes you would think of.
One a note, the song Fly by Hillary Duff is actually pretty good... Of course, that has to do with the fact that they have good songwriters working on the songs, and not so much to do with her own talent (though she is a decent singer)
In Gamer Hell, you must take (and pass) the SAT everytime you wish to roll a die. EVERY time.
Other than being tedious that really doesn't sound too bad(ignoring the fact that there is no "passing" the SAT). Make it the MCAT or LSAT(whichever one you are least prepared to take) and maybe it would be unpleasent.
Other than being tedious that really doesn't sound too bad(ignoring the fact that there is no "passing" the SAT).
What? I'm German, so I'm not used to taking that test on a regular basis, but during my year in the US, I actually had to take it once. Wow. Just wow. That was the closest thing to Hell I've ever experienced (besides watching RoboCop 3). To this day, I still wonder whether they were trying to test my intelligence or rather my endurance.
Then again, insanity checks Will saves, so it's not like endurance would help, is it
?What? I'm German, so I'm not used to taking that test on a regular basis, but during my year in the US, I actually had to take it once. Wow. Just wow. That was the closest thing to Hell I've ever experienced (besides watching RoboCop 3). To this day, I still wonder whether they were trying to test my intelligence or rather my endurance.
Then again, insanity checks Will saves, so it's not like endurance would help, is it
Back when I was in high school, the practice SAT days were the days when I could turn off my brain. I would pretty much finish up each section with half the time remaining so I pretty much just "napped" the or half of the time(real SAT was about the same).
Now the LSAT was roughly the same for me, but I would dred ever having to take the MCAT. Now if you really want to make it painful, require taking a bar exam from a random state in the US before every roll. Even lawyers would dread having to do that.
its gotta be the long pointy ears that does it..they shoulda used her as the model for both the D&D movies! those rocked!:DI've only watched Wrath of the Dragon God, and I must say he is right. In no way epic, but as a cute little D&D movie, it was very entertaining.
Especially when the girl starts to explain "There are two kinds of magic..." That really cracked me up.
In Gamer Hell...
...there are no girls...
...at all!
Yes! I am going to Gamer Heaven, that's right, un huh......
And what. . . . . .be greeted by 72 virgin gamers? ;)
No Minja...you are going to grow "parts" and gain a lot of wait.
No you go to Gamer Purgatory. And in Gamer Purgatory, there are no games or much of anything else to do. So all you'll so is sit there and stare at all the nerds there while praying that none of them deicde to stare back at you.
Aard, you are disturbing me. You find Mialee attractive? I think she looks like a cricket.
I cant see the cricket thing, but her nice smooth legs are good :D
No you go to Gamer Purgatory. And in Gamer Purgatory, there are no games or much of anything else to do. So all you'll so is sit there and stare at all the nerds there while praying that none of them deicde to stare back at you.
This sounds a lot like where I am right now. Hey do we hang out at the same game store
?No Minja...you are going to grow "parts" and gain a lot of wait.
...gain a lot of "wait?"
In gamer hell, all players demonstrate the same level of linguistic capability as the typical internet forum poster.
;)
...gain a lot of "wait?"
In gamer hell, all players demonstrate the same level of linguistic capability as the typical internet forum poster.
;)
Maybe he was referring to Minja being like us gamer guys who have to wait to get things rather than use our assets. Of course it could just be that pigknight isn't that literate. *shrug*
Maybe he was referring to Minja being like us gamer guys who have to wait to get things rather than use our assets. Of course it could just be that pigknight isn't that literate. *shrug*
Weight. Weight damnit. I half alt-tabbed out of WoW.
Sometimes I like to alt-tab out while tanking EVER THINK OF THAT?
(I love just being able to drop Death and Decay and Unholy Blight then /afk.)
In gamer hell, you have to listen to Dirtyfrank make crude sexual comments for all eternity. And Pigknight, too.
Mostly me.
If you ever join the guild I'm in, in WoW, ask about Hammy the smexy hamster.
In gamer hell, you have to listen to Dirtyfrank make crude sexual comments for all eternity. And Pigknight, too.
Some people like these comments. They would think that such behavior would be putting them in heaven.
This sounds a lot like where I am right now. Hey do we hang out at the same game store
That would really suprise me, mostly because I only go to my FLGS for comics. I get all my gaming books from Amazon.:P
Incidently, in Gamer Hell you have to pay full price for all books you buy. And those are the copies that have random cheese stains on the pages for no reason.
Random sticky pages. Get it right.
Why are all your random sticky pages the ones with Mialee on it? :P
Why are all your random sticky pages the ones with Mialee on it? :P
Because my book doesn't want to show me her face. Duh. :D It's trying to keep you from seeing the horror of her face.
Because my book doesn't want to show me her face. Duh. :D It's trying to keep you from seeing the horror of her face.
Right, I believe you. Don't worry, I'll keep your dirty little secret. ;)...Ember the monk is real and angry with you.
...all spells bloat females for no reason.
...the edition is called D&D4Chan.
way to much hate for the lovely ladies of 3ed...Mialee and Ember,...what gives guys?! startin to scare me here :D
Depending on the pic, Mialee doesn't look half bad, provided you cover her face with something.
Ember just looks scary. You wouldn't want a woman that kills dragons with bare hands or a stick angry with you.
Depending on the pic, Mialee doesn't look half bad, provided you cover her face with something.
Ember just looks scary. You wouldn't want a woman that kills dragons with bare hands or a stick angry with you.
they are the strong independent types :D
Ember just looks scary. You wouldn't want a woman that kills dragons with bare hands or a stick angry with you.
If you can keep a woman like Ember happy then you don't have to worry about things like dragons.
If you can keep a woman like Ember happy then you don't have to worry about things like dragons.
And if you can't, you don't either, because you will have a Hell of other troubles.
And if you can't, you don't either, because you will have a Hell of other troubles.
I dunno, I see Ember as the kind of gal that you'd need to cast remove disease on yourself after rolling in the hey with her.
Heaven only knows what kinds of things she's taken against their will.
In Gamer Hell...
You actually have to act out boasts like this.
all the story lines would be written by emo neo-goths and the narration would be spoken as if it were emo goth poetry.
In Gamer Hell There is no Minja to save you from Ember's wanton clutches.
... or dirtyfrank's wanton ramblings
. ..... :D ..... 
In Gamer Hell There is no Minja to save you from Ember's wanton clutches.
Luckily we also learned that Minja is in fact in Gamer Purgatory not Gamer Hell, because women are not allowed in Gamer Hell. So in order for me to keep you safe you have to work your way up the chain and get to Gamer Purgatory.
And despite my efforts, which have been considerable, I seem to have failed keeping people safe from dirtyfrank's wanton ramblings.
In Gamer Hell....
Whenever you drop into your local game store someone decides to try their new pick up line on you. (no they aren't magically enhanced, and just because I decided to help some new kid getting into the game with their character concept by sitting down with them for half an hour and doing a character sketch, does not mean that I actually want to spend the next half hour looking at your elf vampire rogue paladin, and no I didn't bring my magic decks with me
)Women are now allowed to enter Gamer Hell. However, upon entering gamer hell, all women grow male genitalia.
(Shows up at local gaming store and tries my new pick up line on Minja.)
Rule change in Gamer Hell:
Women are now allowed to enter Gamer Hell. However, upon entering gamer hell, all women grow male genitalia.
(Shows up at local gaming store and tries my new pick up line on Minja.)
(goes to walk into Gamer Hell to comment on the most recent posts, reads the rule change on the door, decides not to enter Gamer Hell in order to avoid the...changes... turns around and walks off....)
{With the way the rules were written, I don't think you would loose your female parts. You would just gain the male parts and thus be twice as fun.}
Well, no one will ever claim that you don't live up to your name there, franky.
In Gamer Hell, you are forced to use Windows ME.
I already said that one.In Gamer Hell, You are Forced to be stuck behind old people driving Buicks that can't drive.
Lost some points there at the end. Shoulda pressed the blue button.
(walks up, sips coffee, sees rule is still in effect, walks away)
You hate guys that much? :P
In gamer hell, Not Even Pun Pun can survive your ass hat dm's campaign.
In Gamer Hell, all d20s have nineteen '1's and one '2'.
http://nodwick.humor.gamespy.com/ffn/index.php?date=2005-08-10 I'm ready for that eventuality.
In gamer hell, Dirtyfrank can't be Dirtyfrank, for if he is than Dirtyfrank gets nabbed by WotC RAW Ninja teams, gagged, tied up, and shipped to an underground sweatshop where he is forced to make d20's with only 1's and 2's upon them.
And if he tries to get a break for the potty or to blink away the stinging sweat from his eyes, a cage drops down from the ceiling, dangling in front of him, with a Cthulhu plushie being slowly shredded by wicked Forum Ants.
No Minja on Jodi action?
Jodi as in Joe-dee. It is the name of a friend of her's.
No Minja on Jodi action, truly the seventh of the nine circles of gamer hell.
In gamer hell, Dirtyfrank can't be Dirtyfrank, for if he is than Dirtyfrank gets nabbed by WotC RAW Ninja teams, gagged, tied up, and shipped to an underground sweatshop where he is forced to make d20's with only 1's and 2's upon them.
And if he tries to get a break for the potty or to blink away the stinging sweat from his eyes, a cage drops down from the ceiling, dangling in front of him, with a Cthulhu plushie being slowly shredded by wicked Forum Ants.
As long as they know the safety word.
Illithid
They know how to mind hump.
In Gamer Hell, the only cars that exist are bland mid size sedans that look just like all of the others....
That actually isn't too bad. As long as it can get me from point a to point b in a timely fashion, the looks don't matter.
That actually isn't too bad. As long as it can get me from point a to point b in a timely fashion, the looks don't matter.
There is so much wrong with this statement.
If you are paying 30,000 dollars for a car, wouldn't you expect it to at least look nice?
I'm sorry I shouldn't have to look for badges on a car just to tell who makes it.
There was once a time when -style- and aesthetics were actually somewhat important to a car to distinguish it from the others on the market.
they don't make cars that look this good anymore.In Gamer Hell every car looks at least as good as this one, but you always fail your driving test at the same exact point.
That is an ugly car. Plus the aerodynamics on it look horrendous. I can't imagine you get good gas mileage on it either. That has to be one of the worst cars ever made.
Ps, if the car was modernized you could expect around 30mpgs pretty easily. (something most imports with half the cylinders brag about)
While being capable of going 200 mph and roasting a quarter mile in under 12 seconds.
(Here's a hint most cars can't do it in less than 16 and can't even hit 130)
Gimme a Stingray over the abominations known as Camry clones any day. Ps the Stingray has a .34 drag coefficient which is very very efficient aerodynamically.
Simple and clean lines don't mean you have to have an inanely bland car for that matter..33 drag coefficient
I think you are suffering from an aardwolf syndrome.
Ps, if the car was modernized you could expect around 30mpgs pretty easily. (something most imports with half the cylinders brag about)
While being capable of going 200 mph and roasting a quarter mile in under 12 seconds.
(Here's a hint most cars can't do it in less than 16 and can't even hit 130)
Gimme a Stingray over the abominations known as Camry clones any day. Ps the Stingray has a .34 drag coefficient which is very very efficient aerodynamically.
Simple and clean lines don't mean you have to have an inanely bland car for that matter..33 drag coefficient
why else do you think i stored up so many canned goods that don't need water? also, ready with weapon and several escape routes.
crazy prepared means always worrying now about never having to worry later
There is so much wrong with this statement.
If you are paying 30,000 dollars for a car, wouldn't you expect it to at least look nice?
I'm sorry I shouldn't have to look for badges on a car just to tell who makes it.
There was once a time when -style- and aesthetics were actually somewhat important to a car to distinguish it from the others on the market.
That your new car, Jeff? :P
@ DF: That is evil. I think you win the thread.
Upon interring Gamer Hell, everyone receives a gerbil and a tube, and yes you must use them and then role-play.
Either my mind is too dirty or not dirty enough...
Gimme a Stingray over the abominations known as Camry clones any day. Ps the Stingray has a .34 drag coefficient which is very very efficient aerodynamically.
In gamer hell all the boys talk about fast cars... when all the girls like trucks. :D
Upon interring Gamer Hell, everyone receives a gerbil and a tube, and yes you must use them and then role-play.
Great! I toss the gerbil at a demon to distract it and gain combat advantage, then hit it with the tube!
Of course, this being Gamer Hell, I'd roll a 1 to hit anyways.
Why would I want to talk about fast cars?
To forget about the gerbil.
I already get around 30 mpg(I actually want to say 37, but it has been a while since I last calculated it out so I'm not going to say that for sure).
And while that max mph may sound very impressive, that is really just overcompensating because you know very well that you are never going to utilize that. Maybe when we are hit with a zombie apocolypse then it will matter, but until then it serves no real purpose. :P
And I am quite content with my camry thank you very much.:P
Also do you live in a hilly area? I've never gotten more than 32 out of a Camry where I live. The car's just not got enough balls to get up a hill efficiently.
30 is what the EPA would rate it. Not what I'd get out of it. :D
I got around 36 with my Camaro. (And I liked accelerating up to the speed limit quickly too :D)
Also, if I take the car onto the track there's a chance I'll get to use it's 150+ mph capability. And definitely with the zombie apocalypse.
It's either that or I'm going to break out my old beat up pick up truck, or my full size conversion van. (The thing's like a tank. See Minja? I love trucks too!)
In gamer hell, everyone is given a hamster wheel for entertainment.
To forget about the gerbil.
First I would have to start caring about cars, but I guess you kind of, sort of, have a point.
Also, if I take the car onto the track there's a chance I'll get to use it's 150+ mph capability. And definitely with the zombie apocalypse.
Oh right, sorry I forgot that you were a NASCAR driver, Jeff.
In Gamer Hell everyone thinks you are a celebrity that you despise and remotely look like and you get none of the perks of being a celebrity.:P
Though I might despise him if more people mistake me for him.
In Gamer Hell, you are forced to play FATAL and your wife/girlfriend/significant other always has a "head ache".
(Probably caused by you playing FATAL)
In Gamer Hell, you never gain experience points.
I never said I despised him. :P Just despise the "racing" sanctioning body where he works.
Though I might despise him if more people mistake me for him.
In Gamer Hell, you are forced to play FATAL and your wife/girlfriend/significant other always has a "head ache".
(Probably caused by you playing FATAL)
In Gamer Hell, you never gain experience points.
Hey Jeff, good to see you again! In gamer hell, everyone calls you Jeff.
In Gamer Hell, there is no Minja to give help.
That is because someone won't let women into Gamer Hell.
That is because someone won't let women into Gamer Hell.
I don't make the rules, Gamer Devil does. I guess I'll have to bring things up with him.
In gamer hell it snows everyday and their is no 4 wheel drive.
What are you talkin about?
That's my idea of a fun Saturday night. :D
Camaro in the snow ftw.
Good tires is also more important than Four Wheel Drive in the snow or other bad weather :P
In Gamer Hell, you are glued to your seat which is bolted to the floor with your dice just out of reach.
In Gamer Hell, women are now allowed into Gamer Hell and can remain women without getting any male parts, but they must be dating dirtyfrank or someone equally as weird.
In Gamer Hell, everyone get's their very own dirtyfrank to follow them around for eternity.
Except for dirtyfrank, he get's 5 of his very own dirtyfranks to follow him around and each of them think that the real dirtyfrank is Minja.
In Gamer Hell, he who smelt it, delt it and will deal it again and again for the rest of eternity except each time the smell gets worse.
Except for dirtyfrank, he get's 5 of his very own dirtyfranks to follow him around and each of them think that the real dirtyfrank is Minja.
All this means is that dirtyfrank will be having a lot of awesome sex orgies.
Also, all dirtyfranks think that they are the real dirtyfrank.
particles coming from the of the guy sitting next to you.OOOOOOOOOO, I'm telling because girls aren't allowed to swear in Gamer Hell.
I didn't swear... I
! 
particles are ok? C'mon!! C'mon!! :DIn Gamer Hell, Mialee is the most attractive creature around.
Your hell....My heaven :D
In Gamer Hell, Mialee is the most attractive creature around.
How does she taste?
her.Just the thought of her is yuck.
outta that fine piece!!!:DCould I help?
thou ar truly the dirtyfrank...no, but maybe watch the video :D
We be there....
I call the seat nearest the DM!
In Gamer Hell , every keyboard and every mouse is wireless and requires Double A and Triple A batteries.
Like one of those giant cop flashlights.....
In Gamer Hell, everyone must read Tolkein.
NO!!!!!
NO!!!!!
You don't like Tolkein? You must be a Gamer Hell Demon.
Demons are in the abyss, dumbass.
Not accourding to my religion dumass. If you don't want to be a demon in the Gamer Abyss then you can be a Devil in Gamer Hell.
I'd be a devil. And Tolkien sucks. He writes a frikkin chapter about the way Frodo walks. C'mon, that's totally lame. Why use a chapter when a paragraph will do? Detail is nice, but when you go too far, it gets tedious. And pointless. I had to force myself to read all three, it was that boring.
Obviously they way that Frodo walked was very important or else it would have never been written.
You have to DM for a group filled with gamers just like you. :P
I'm too lazy to reread this thread, but this is my favorite punishment, so forgive me if I've repeated it:
You have to DM for a group filled with gamers just like you. :P
This is a dream come true for I can both roleplay and rollplay to my full potential without worry.
This is a dream come true for I can both roleplay and rollplay to my full potential without worry.
Yeah, but as a punishment for people who deserve to be in Gamer Hell, it's very sucky - mostly because those players have no idea how deserving of it they are until they're the ones on the receiving end of it.
Though I bet even you would get annoyed at yourself. ;)
Yeah, but as a punishment for people who deserve to be in Gamer Hell, it's very sucky - mostly because those players have no idea how deserving of it they are until they're the ones on the receiving end of it.
Though I bet even you would get annoyed at yourself. ;)
Not anymore than I do with other people. It would likely be quite entertaining with many of me at the table.
In Gamer Hell, the table side conversation never stops and the more you try and stop it the louder it gets.
In Gamer Hell, you are forced to DM for an entire group of lesbianstripperninjas. And I don't mean all the PCs are lesbianstripperninjas, the actual gamers are lesbianstripperninjas.
I.E. You can never find your gamers (they're ninjas, duh).
When they do show up, they are naked, they kill you, and then they fade back into the shadows.
In Gamer Hell, you are forced to participate in an unending thread about:
Dragonboobs
Cleavage Windows
Androgynous Art
Feminism in the gaming industry
and
Who is cooler: Captain Jean-Luc Picard or Darth Vader?
In Gamer Hell, every novel available is a sex novel written for women. By women.
In Gamer Hell, everyone thinks SW is better than ST. The fools ...
In Gamer Hell, Dice Roll You!!
In Gamer Hell, you are forced to DM for an entire group of lesbianstripperninjas. And I don't mean all the PCs are lesbianstripperninjas, the actual gamers are lesbianstripperninjas.
I.E. You can never find your gamers (they're ninjas, duh).
When they do show up, they are naked, they kill you, and then they fade back into the shadows.
In Gamer Hell, you are forced to participate in an unending thread about:
Dragonboobs
Cleavage Windows
Androgynous Art
Feminism in the gaming industry
and
Who is cooler: Captain Jean-Luc Picard or Darth Vader?
Picard wins hands down. Vader is an emo, and remember kids it isn't cool to be emo.
Although I must say that these punishments are becoming a whole lot tamer. I mean the first one in this post actually sounds semi-pleasent for a few moments. The second one sounds like daily life.
At least he's not a whiny cowardly ***** like Picard.
In Gamer Hell, Captain Kirk would be played by Orlando Bloom.
In Gamer Hell, Han Solo is played by Keeanu (sp?) Reeves.
Speaking of this.
Keanu is supposed to be playing Spike in a live-action Cowboy Bebop movie. Gah.
In Gamer Hell, you are forced to act in a D&D Movie sequel and then watch yourself look like an ass in it every evening. The rest of Gamer Hell appears - to you - to be D&D fans that hate you for participating in that awful crap and further damaging the popular opinion of the game they love.
In Gamer Hell, Uwe Boll has good taste and you do not.
In Gamer Hell, AOL is your ISP.
That was one damned expensive repair. Ugh.
Hp's the worst though.. by far.
It serves its purpose well enough. Now that it works again.
Would this purpose happen to be the looking up of hell porn?
Would this purpose happen to be the looking up hell porn?
That's one of its missions, yes. And there ain't nothin' wrong with that.
There are no Starbucks to make those really really yummy java chip frappuccinos. If only they still did the chantico.... mmmm...
In Gamer Hell there are no coffee related products.
But Jeff that is a good thing. :PIn Gamer Hell movies like Repo never get made and in their place is yet more Scary Movie Spam.
In Gamer Hell the only type of car available is the AMC Pacer.
My dad also had a late 60's convertible Stingray. He let his first wife drive it (they were both pretty young) and she totaled it. He decided to get a GTO after that, but since the wreck was on his insurance he couldn't afford to. I missed out on two classics. Know what my first car was? A friggin' '92 Ford Tempo. In teal. And I paid for it.
It didn't stay underpowered for too long. After I put the performance exhaust system on it it really woke up the power of the car. Still wouldn't accelerate to 60 worth a damn but past it. I think I hit 130 and was still accelerating before I let off of it. Wound up wrecking the car thanks to sleep deprivation. Was working two jobs full time and juggling a social life. I miss that car too.
I've got a red 1986 Chevrolet Camaro Z28 (That means it has a good V8 in it), with parts of the first car put into it. (the rear end for the limited slip differential and the hood, and front bumper)
My "coolest" ride was a '97 Dakota 4x4 with a manual trans and a 5.2 liter v8. It was black and red with tinted windows, nerf bars, a push bar and 31x11.5" tires. It was unstickable. I also had a 1240 watt stereo system in it that cost me over $200 in multiple noise ordinance violations. Too bad it was also the costliest vehicle I ever drove. Everything broke on the sucker. I swear, it was awful.
You're right, though. They do make glass tables for a reason, you know. And eventually those kind of people stop using the table ...
In Gamer Hell, there is only Pathfinder.
In Gamer Hell, the only game is Settlers of Catan and when you trade wood for sheep you actually have to ... you know ... trade wood for sheep.
in gamer hell the dm crits at will and skurrids steal your nuts
In Gamer Hell, you are Rihanna and the devil is Chris Brown.
In Gamer Hell, George W. Bush is the DM.
In Gamer Hell, all superheros must be referred to as "The [insert superhero here]". Superheros that already have a 'the' get an extra one:
The Wolverine
The Dr. Doom
The The Batman
The The Hulk
In Gamer Hell, you get to watch every new movie that comes out, but the last 20 minutes is replaced by 2 George Bushs, one Cup (you don't even want to know)
In Gamer Hell, George W. Bush is the DM.
This actually sounds like it would be one hell of a great game to be at.
You know that he will stumble over some of the stuff he says, he'll make up new words that are funny as hell, and his tactics will be either crappy or batshit crazy or both. The great thing about it is that he would be trying to give it his all, and the harder he tries the funnier it will get.
This actually sounds like it would be one hell of a great game to be at.
You know that he will stumble over some of the stuff he says, he'll make up new words that are funny as hell, and his tactics will be either crappy or batshit crazy or both. The great thing about it is that he would be trying to give it his all, and the harder he tries the funnier it will get.
Yeah, the first game would be hilarious but it would get old real fast.
The never ending quest to find Troll-sama Bin Laden, in MiddleEastistan isn't as fun as it sounds.
In gamer hell, the DM is inspired for every adventure by an episode of the series Lost.
In Gamer Hell you have to LARP episodes of Lost with a live polar bear.
In Gamer Hell you are forced to LARP romance scenes with your DM.
Not too bad if your DM is female, and attractive. I think this is too nice to be in gamer hell. (at least my version of it)
In Gamer Hell you are forced to LARP romance scenes with your DM.
I'm the DM in my group and there are 3 slightly heavy chicks in it that all have a crush on me. I think that they would turn there kick-ass take no
from anybody female characters into a bunch of romance seeking gals. There would probably be one love scene after another. I'm not sure if this would be a bad thing pigknight.I know one of the guys in the group would get extremely uncomfortable with the whole thing. He would probably leave and never come back to the group.
that one has already been done. try again
Awww but the thread has been degrading over the past few pages. It is several times worse to partipate now then it was whenever that was originally posted. :P
(I found out when I was 18 that I had developed a milk allergy. I can no longer eat the vast majoirty of the foods that used to be my favorites. No cereal, no Mac n Cheese, no pizza, no milk in the coffee.....sigh. I am living in my own gamer hell)
In Gamer Hell you are forced to game with those gamers. Yeah the ones that don't bathe. And it's been so long since they've bathed there's crusty stuff on their fingers.
IN gamer hell these gamers wear black trench coats even in the heart of the summer, when the sweat so much they are covered in white crusted layers of salt at the end of the day.
In Gamer Hell, everyone is easily offended and always want to "throw down" when they are offended.
That is offensive.... come get some....
...NOT THAT KIND!*
In gamer hell...
I can't think of anything. I can't get that picture out of head.So if it's not a fight with fists and swords then what kind of fight is it?
FOOD FIGHT!!!!!!!
That's just nastay!!!
In gamer hell...
:D
thanks Idolis. you just made me laugh my ass off. I needed that.So if it's not a fight with fists and swords then what kind of fight is it?
Fists are good....
Fists are good....
Are there any rules to our fight?
Fists are good....
I never pegged you as kinky Minja.
oooooooooooo, Minja pick me. Pick me. Awwww come on pick me. oooooo oooooo ooooooo.
In Gamer Hell I have no family jewels and my wife is always very pleased.
Fix'd
(I think I just grossed myself out...)
In Gamer Hell, the pools are always gucky and grimy.
In gamer hell the hokie pokie is cool.
I kind of like the hokie pokie, and the chicken dance.
In gamer hell, you can't have fun dancing.
I kind of like the hokie pokie, and the chicken dance.
I only see those dances at weddings.
In Gamer Hell, when you go to a wedding you must pay for your own food. You must pay for every dish and everything you toss on your plate. That's right, in gamer hell there are no buffets. Not even at weddings or at Hometown Buffet.
I only see those dances at weddings.
They are always played for laughs around here, I don't go to too many weddings.
In gamer hell, at every buffet the cold food is warm, the hot food is cold, the sneeze guards are dripping with snot, the plates all have dried crusty rice on them, people lick their fingers after dripping sauce on them before putting the serving utensils down, and people linger in line... for...ever...taking...their... time... trying... to.... decide... which.... entree... they.... want.... to.... put... on.... their.... over.... full.... plate.... and.... trying... to.... strategically... figure... out.... how.... to.... place... it.... so... the.... sauces... don't... mix....
JUST GO BACK AND GET ANOTHER PLATE!!!
They are always played for laughs around here, I don't go to too many weddings.
Where would here be?........ Gamer Hell, maybe?
You are an NPC in a game. Forced to stand in one place and say the same thing over and over.
"Welcome to Corneria."
"I like swords."
As to the original OP:
The only video games available are all made by Derek Smart.
Oh wait. I must be there.
In Gamer Hell you have to watch the events of Twilight unfold from the perspective of every single character in the series, and then you have to watch every single Twilight fanfic unfold from the perspective of every single character in them.
I think I just died a little inside.
In Gamer Hell, the internet connection always cuts off/host leaves/game ends just after you connect to a server.
I hate PSN sometimes.
In Gamer Hell everyone tells you about how they did in their various third person shooter last night, and how everyone lol'ed at this one great move they did before they died.
Oh wait. I must be there.
Do you have someone you want to complain about?
In Gamer Hell, you must listen to everyone complain about their problems no matter how dumb and unimportant the complaint is.
Do you have someone you want to complain about?
In Gamer Hell, you must listen to everyone complain about their problems no matter how dumb and unimportant the complaint is.
Thus is the basis of my job, Tech Support.
In Gamer Hell, Tech Support never offers advice, only transfers you in circles.
In Gamer Hell, you get to be your favorite character from fiction until the end of time. Unfortunatly you are trapped in a fangirl "Mary Sue" fanfic about said character, and it never ends.
So it's like being in a Star Trek the Next Generation episode, that features Wesley Crusher?
I haven't watched too many of those, so maybe? If it is an episode where Wesley is the only one who can save the ship from being destroyed due to his sheer awesomeness and then your favorite character has to sleep with him(keep in mind you are in your favorite character's head during all of this), then yes yes very much so.
In Gamer Hell, there will be no nagging, nor any dice.
Speaking of this.
Keanu is supposed to be playing Spike in a live-action Cowboy Bebop movie. Gah.
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Remember, though, that heaven and hell are based on perspective! Heaven for a dog would surely be Hell for a squirrel!
(yes, this was an old group of mine. I'm so glad that my current group is way cooler than this)
In Gamer Hell, every computer runs on Vista, making it impossible to play many cool games. (This from personal experience.)
Hey, I use Vista and it runs perfectly fine.
Hey, I use Vista and it runs perfectly fine.
When I play NWN, it has this weird problem where I have to sit through the opening credits and cutscences each and every time, or else it boots me out of the program. The Sims 2 just freezes up like crazy all the time. It's pretty much only older games like Heroes of Might and Magic IV and Dragonriders of Pern that I can play.
Hey, I use Vista and it runs perfectly fine.
You're lucky then - my Vista encountered a fatal error soon after I got it. I ended up having to boot my Linux partition to recover the data. I haven't run Windows since.
On topic - In Gamer Hell, you have access to all of the source books ever, before they come out. But when you open them, you discover that you have forgotten how to read.
In Gamer Hell, there are only Space Marines.
I disagree, this would still be interesting.
In Gamer Hell, there are only Tau.
Now that would be boring.
At least the Tau aren't good at everything to the point they practically play themselves like the Space Retards do.
In Gamer Hell, you are forced to watch the new Friday the 13th, censored so it has no nudity.
How did you find out that I'm a Tau player?! Holy crap!
I can read your mind.... over the internet, from many miles away. ;)
Actually it is the way you type, seriously reminiscent of every Tau player I have ever chatted with.
Tau, sit back and pound your opponents into submission.... boring...
In Gamer Hell, all horror movies are censored into 5 minute infomercials about forests, dark spaces and the dangers of strangers.
Gunline Tau aren't Tau. They're guard with better armor saves. :P
Tau, in the hands of a skilled player is a fairly exciting game of cat and mouse, while you try to either trap him or her in such a way they can't avoid you, or you spend the game avoiding having your force over whelmed one segment at a time.
For the Greater Good.I also Play Necrons. In a similar fashion usually. Gunlines are for losers with no sense of tactics.
Gunship and Mobility warfare is where it's at.
Isn't that every horror movie ever made? :D
In Gamer Hell, There are only Nid MC Lists.
Do you have someone you want to complain about?
In Gamer Hell, you must listen to everyone complain about their problems no matter how dumb and unimportant the complaint is.
Kinda like holidays with relatives?
In Gamer Hell, Your sister plays the cute elf your character has a crush on. DM wants really immersive play.
I have a female player in my group that has grabbed her own sister's breast in the middle of game. It was some funny stuff. :D
I have a female player in my group that has grabbed her own sister's breast in the middle of game. It was some funny stuff. :D
So many fetishes in that.
@ DF: .....are you serious? Man, that would be.....akward. And kinda fun to watch too. :D
yeah, I can imagine. Did anyone get slapped?
No, but the sister and the other girl at the table were confused as hell. We guys were all laughing our asses off at the moment.
The most awkward situation I was in wasn't awkward for me, but it was funny. I was playing D&D at my uncle's comic shop along with my brothers and a good friend, with a shop regular DMing. We were playing an evil character campaign and we were captured to be tortured for information. Normally this guy would have gone all out in his descriptions of torturous depravities, but when my character was being tortured, he got really embarrassed when he was telling me that she had been stripped naked because my dad was about 10 feet away. Needless to say, he didn't go into great detail on the torture methods. :D
That's cool that you have family that owns a comic shop.
That's cool that you have family that owns a comic shop.
Well, owned. My uncle had to sell it almost a year ago.
I really miss working there.
I really miss working there.
You worked there? That's hawt!
In Gamer Hell, women can't be all hawt like because they aren't allowed to be all nerdy like by working at comic stores.
I didn't work for pay or anything, it was more of a favor to a family member and a fun thing to do on Saturdays. But I got good at knowing exactly where to find any comic or piece of merchandise that we had in the store. If someone came in asking where a particular comic was, I knew where it would be. It was a very satisfying job, even if I wasn't getting paid.
Speaking of which, gamer hell is going to a comic/gaming store where they have the first and third book in a series, but the second is hopelessly lost in backorderland.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
In Gamer Hell, nobody is polite enough to give thank yous or you're welcomes.
In Gamer Hell, nobody is polite enough to give thank yous or you're welcomes.
I would actually like that quite a bit. I get uncomfortable when people thank me or acknowledge my thanks to them. It's odd and solely my issue, I know, but not having to deal with it would be kind of nice. :D
I would actually like that quite a bit. I get uncomfortable when people thank me or acknowledge my thanks to them. It's odd and solely my issue, I know, but not having to deal with it would be kind of nice. :D
Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. We truly appreciate this chance to get to know you better. :P
Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. We truly appreciate this chance to get to know you better. :P
You sonofa .... :P
It's not so bad online. It's in person that it weirds me out. My brain is so borked. :D
In Gamer Hell, your camera never charges.
so this is the race that was posted in Astrids?
What gives you that impression?.....
.....maybe? :DYou have access to every rulebook you want, every mini, every battle map, every dice and enough Cheetos and Mountain Dew to feed orcs for eternity. There's also a great place, music source and collection, props and everything else.
With no one to play with.
This is where I'm actually at right now.
I WIN!!
LOL
...*shudder*
In Gamer Hell you have to play with Aristocles2 as the DM..
I know that seems horrible. It would be boring as hell to be a male Dracon.
LOL
For a while back there, it looked like DirtyFrank was hitting on Crossroads_Wanderer.
Anyways,
In Gamer Hell, you're stuck with a bunch of hot chicks, but you're not allowed to hit on them.
In Gamer Hell, you're stuck with a bunch of hot chicks, but you're not allowed to hit on them.
......Honestly that wouldn't be too bad. At least you have something nice to look at for eternity.
and they're covered up with loose clothing.
Yeah it still doesn't sound that bad. If you want to make it bad then just reverse everything.
In Gamer Hell you are stuck with a bunch of very unnatractive people(their gender determined by what would be more painful to you) in tight clothing, which they should not be wearing, and you are forced to hit on them every 2 minutes.
For a while back there, it looked like DirtyFrank was hitting on Crossroads_Wanderer.
I flirt with just about everyone on the forums. Guys and Gals because it's all entertaining.....in Gamer Hell.
Gamer Hell is the one button that is fairly useless in most games, but is necessary in your favorite game, being broken.
Haha! My electrical engineering classes will finally pay off!:D