Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 Svempa Oct 02, 2013 16:00:07	I should warn you that this post contains some adult language.   I've never been a real geek or nerd. Maybe I have one foot in both camps -- if there are camps, that is. Once a guy who thinks he is really cool told me he thought I am 'a bit nerdy'. I don't know if I take that as a compliment or an insult, since he is one of the dumbest people I have ever called a friend.   But -- I've noticed that there are people who seem to self identify as geeks and nerds, and take on certain mannerisms etc.   What I'm talking about now is this type of male nerd/geek. Women do a lot of stupid **** too, but not in this department. Well, most of the time, that is...   First thing. In every, I mean every group I've DMed for, there has been at least one person of this 'type' who seems unable to handle the introduction of pretty female NPCs. Almost at once, this NPC becomes the object of sexual innuendo that is at best very embarassing, and at worst offensive in the worst ways imaginable. They seem unable to treat female NPCs as anything else than sex objects. A couple of times this has gone way, way too far. I've noticed that players like that are often unable to hande the presence of female players, and they tend to drive women away from the group. I believe its happened to me twice.   I have only been to one so called 'con' in my entire life. Now I know some of these girls who engage in so-called cosplay really like the attention they get from the males, but the behavior of some people, staring with open mouths, almost drooling, and then not even having the courtesy of talking to or complementing the girl in question... Just take a couple of photos from a 'safe' distance, and then leave. Treating them like wax dolls, objects -- not people. If someone treated me like that I would have been very offended.   Has anyone else noticed this type of behavior? I thought intelligent men knew that its good to treat women as equals, and with respect.
#2 mykrox Oct 02, 2013 19:10:48	Well said. You could use a strong female NPC to challenge that type of player. And during breaks have an OOC conversation with him. Let him know it's real and     his actions in-game are all fantasy, but not a healthy attitiude in real life. Maybe he just needs a guy- who's- been- there perspective from someone a little more     seasoned ( we've all experienced the face slap-yes?)     I think the behavior is a lot of bluff and swagger. Maybe your player thinks this is what his male contemporaries expect. As far as the -cons, never been to one so     I've never seen the embarrassing display you described. I'm married and have a little girl. I remember being young and juvenile. But older guys set me straight     about women. There's what I imagined about women and then there was reality. Maybe your player needs a dose of that.        They're young and inexperienced with women and that unknown scares them. So, they put up this hyper-macho front with all the bad stereotypes that it entails     and do what they think they are supposed to do. I think it's about confidence. Maybe if he goes somewhere with you all. The group takes it on the road to a store or     something and his task is to obtain the flask of sweet elixir(read soda) from yon merchant maid ( see, I didn't say wench ) and engage in conversation with said     same. Maybe in character this will give him an up close encounter with a woman and he will see her as a person. Humanize not objectify. And being there will     give him moral support. Some guys need to be shown their behavior is wrong. We have an obligation to correct them when we can. And help as we are able so     long as they are willing.  Sincerely,M
#3 Dragonette Oct 03, 2013 10:38:55	Hello,   I have removed some content which is inappropriate for our forums. Please remember that the Code of Conduct applies to all of our forums, including the Off Topic Tavern. Please avoid content which could be considered explicit, offensive, or otherwise could disrupt our community.   Thanks!   Monica
#4 mellored Oct 03, 2013 11:10:52	This isn't specific to "nerds".  Go to a car show and you'll see the same thing.    Sure, "nerds" may be a bit more shy.  Gawking, taking a picture at a safe distace.  But it can be worse at other places where guy's will expect the girl to come home with them.  There's a reason there are more body guards in those kind of events.
#5 LFK Oct 07, 2013 9:53:20	Svempa wrote:
(Reply to #4) Svempa	That is very true, Mellored!