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| #1KlirshonMar 16, 2010 7:08:41 | Link
What a great geezer he seems to be... socking kids in the back of the head with his keys between the knuckles. Wonder if he'll get away with it due to his mental instability... |
| #2Cpt_MichaMar 16, 2010 7:51:31 | Wow. I wonder if he only did this to kids that had their mothers with them too. So that he wouldn't get the living **** beat out of him by father's protecting their kids. |
| #3KlirshonMar 16, 2010 9:17:32 | The old coot is a crackpot; who knows what was going on in his decaying, fleshy brain...
I'm surprised he was able to do it as long as he said he has (though being as off the rocker he is, he could be fibbing). Had he lived in southern Ohio and did this to one of my fleshbag family members, he would probably need a body bag. They don't play nice... |
| #4zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 9:34:31 | This is disgusting. Teaching a 6 year old kid that it's ok to tattle. Outrageous. |
| #5KlirshonMar 16, 2010 10:22:23 | It's a damn shame, right? Whatever happened to "nobody likes a tattle-tale"? Everyone seems to be namby-pambies anymore... |
| #6zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 10:28:42 | I know. It's like adults shouldn't be able to get away with whatever they want where kids are concerned. We're adults, we're in charge. Lettin' this kid get away with tattlin' is gonna upset the balance. |
| #7lhockeeMar 16, 2010 10:34:52 | This is disgusting. Teaching a 6 year old kid that it's ok to tattle. Outrageous.
As always, you are a Master of the Insightful, Z_B.  |
| #8chanter_houndMar 16, 2010 10:43:57 | I'm cheering on the old man personally.
we need some sort of urban legend to stop making all of the youth today such little whiney emo gothic wannabes.
Eat your vegetables or we are going to walmart and old man winters will punch you in the back of the head. |
| #9Cpt_MichaMar 16, 2010 10:51:16 | chanter: we like to call other proventative measures Chores and Yardwork. Anything that involves menial, heavy labor? Get your kid to do it with you. (of course parents are lazy fat and stupid themselves now so they don't want to do it or even part of it either anymore)
Shovel that snow off the drive, dig those holes to plant trees bushes. Rake the yard, mow the lawn. Teach your child the value of Work, and the value of being a responsible adult. |
| #10chanter_houndMar 16, 2010 10:57:52 | Well, I don't have any children myself. (Thank god as many people would say)
And even if I did.. We live in an apartment.
Besides, one thing I do know is if you are going to have chores for your kids to do, so they can earn allowance.. freeking follow through with it. Was very annoying as a kid, to work my ass off and get an IOU, instead of cash. Then have my parents take away what cash I did have.
Though I guess they where just teaching me about the wonderful goverment, and how it works. |
| #11Cpt_MichaMar 16, 2010 11:00:42 | I agree with that sentiment. If it's going to be chores for allowance then you are obligated to follow through.
However, if they are chores just to help out around the house you shouldn't be expected to pay up.
(I don't have children either and likely never will if everything goes to my plan) |
| #12zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 11:39:11 | When I was a kid and an old man took the time out of his day to punch me in the back of the head with keys, I thanked him for it and told him what a nice, stout set of keys he had. Kids today just don't know how to respect their elders. It's a damned shame. |
| #13zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 11:41:44 | I agree with that sentiment. If it's going to be chores for allowance then you are obligated to follow through.
However, if they are chores just to help out around the house you shouldn't be expected to pay up.
(I don't have children either and likely never will if everything goes to my plan)
Umm, that's just wrong. Chores just to help out around the house (no allowance) are chores you're paid to do - with the roof over your head, the clothes on your back and the food in your tummy. Wait until you need to house, clothe and feed someone. Then you'll, like, totally get it. An' junk. |
| #14lhockeeMar 16, 2010 11:45:35 | {snicker}
Maybe Z_B should start his own Reality TV show? The Real Super Nanny. Teach kids some damned respect, and bring back the whip & spoon. Sometimes at the same time! Hell yeah, I'd watch that. Be better then Survivor anyway. |
| #15zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 12:08:00 | {snicker}
Maybe Z_B should start his own Reality TV show? The Real Super Nanny. Teach kids some damned respect, and bring back the whip & spoon. Sometimes at the same time! Hell yeah, I'd watch that. Be better then Survivor anyway.
Are you trying to get me arrested? Cuz if I did that show, I'd totally be put in prison.  |
| #16lhockeeMar 16, 2010 12:10:47 | It would be worth it though, right? Until Bubba or someone found out you made a career out of whipping and spooning little kids. Then you might be in real trouble... |
| #17zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 12:12:05 | They'd never take me alive. Cuz I'd kill them all afore they got to me. |
| #18lhockeeMar 16, 2010 12:13:28 | True. They'd probably would hear about how you like to handle a spoon and be frightened off by the thought of you getting a hold of a eating utensil. |
| #19zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 12:35:46 | Eatign utensil? Spoons are strictly instruments of punishment. |
| #20lhockeeMar 16, 2010 15:07:07 | You know, the way you think Z_B makes me nervous sometimes...  |
| #21zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 15:18:04 | You should feel what I feel when my brain part gets workin'. |
| #22lhockeeMar 16, 2010 15:19:55 | The slow grinding squeak of rusty gears? |
| #23zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 15:25:47 | Nah. More like a total loss of control. |
| #24lhockeeMar 16, 2010 15:28:35 | That's even scarier. {shudder} |
| #25zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 15:32:07 | Actually, it's kind of a freeing experience in its own way. |
| #26lhockeeMar 16, 2010 15:33:31 | Well, the scary part is that I didn't even know they had revoked that whole No Thinking On Z_B's Part clause. Makes you wonder what the world is coming to, damned 2012! |
| #27zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 15:37:39 | The world, much like us, is inevitably coming to its end. We were all born to die. |
| #28lhockeeMar 16, 2010 15:40:01 | Oh, you're one of them realists eh? I was warned about your type! Cooties and everything... |
| #29zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 15:42:55 | Not much to worry about, really. We're all already dead. |
| #30lhockeeMar 16, 2010 15:44:23 | Even the Cooties? Poor lil guys... |
| #31zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 15:48:26 | They're not dead. As they're an intangible invention of man, they never really existed. Kinda like thought. |
| #32PinnacleMar 16, 2010 15:57:23 | Oh, you're one of them realists eh? I was warned about your type! Cooties and everything...
No no, you're thinking of girls. Ew.
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| #33zombie_babiesMar 16, 2010 16:03:14 | I like girls. Well, parts of 'em anyway. |
| #34lhockeeMar 16, 2010 17:57:20 | Nah, girls ain't the ones with Cooties, I've examined plenty of them. Women are 100% cootie-free. |
| #35EscherEnigmaMar 16, 2010 19:55:03 | Nah, girls ain't the ones with Cooties, I've examined plenty of them. Women are 100% cootie-free.
I don't know about that... most guys seem to show an alergic reaction to girls. So girls giving off cooties sounds like a real possibility... and based off the evidence I've seen, some girls have more of them then others, and more guys are allergic to them as a result.
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| #36toastedamphibianMar 16, 2010 20:56:28 | Increased heartrate, trouble breathing, redding of the skin: sounds rather like an allergic reaction. |
| #37EscherEnigmaMar 16, 2010 22:03:19 | Increased heartrate, trouble breathing, redding of the skin: sounds rather like an allergic reaction.
I think you forgot localized swelling.
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| #38KlirshonMar 17, 2010 7:34:44 | Only for certain individuals...
So should we key-punch those with cooties in the back of their heads, or stick with the children for now? |
| #39zombie_babiesMar 17, 2010 8:41:27 | I say we key punch 'em all. Apparently it's a great stress reliever and tons of fun. Problem is, you gotta stop when they catch you. So it's best we key as many as possible until we're all imprisoned. We'll go on a key spree, a mass keying and we'll do it with style. |
| #40lhockeeMar 17, 2010 9:39:48 | {snicker} |
| #41KlirshonMar 17, 2010 9:40:25 | We'll have to make a holiday to commemorate this great event afterwards. |
| #42zombie_babiesMar 17, 2010 9:43:49 | Yes. And we'll have to name it somethng key related. Either that or corn related. |
| #43lhockeeMar 17, 2010 10:03:06 | The Keycorn Festivis! |
| #44zombie_babiesMar 17, 2010 11:52:30 | Hmm. I was leaning toward The KeyCorn CornKeying. Can't rightly say why ... |
| #45lhockeeMar 17, 2010 11:58:20 | Sounds pretty messed up, about on par for you, Z_B! |
| #46zombie_babiesMar 17, 2010 12:05:20 | I ... I don't know what you mean by that. |
| #47lhockeeMar 17, 2010 12:06:29 | Oh yes you do, you sly lil devil! |
| #48zombie_babiesMar 17, 2010 12:17:07 | If you say so. I liked things better when it was just a simple matter of keyin' kids an' eatin' corn. |
| #49lhockeeMar 17, 2010 13:52:56 | Maybe if you throw in some booze we can call it a date eh? |
| #50zombie_babiesMar 17, 2010 14:05:23 | Grain alcohol, maybe? |
| #51lhockeeMar 17, 2010 14:07:53 | If the boat floats, then why the hell not?! |
| #52EscherEnigmaMar 17, 2010 14:09:20 | ... you lot are weird. |
| #53lhockeeMar 17, 2010 14:10:28 | ... you lot are weird.
Odd, that's what my psychiatrist keeps telling me...
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| #54EscherEnigmaMar 17, 2010 14:13:00 | Odd, that's what my psychiatrist keeps telling me...
So you've been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder then?
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| #55lhockeeMar 17, 2010 14:14:34 | Amoung other things... |
| #56zombie_babiesMar 17, 2010 14:15:02 | Odd, that's what my psychiatrist keeps telling me...
So you've been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder then?
Grain alcohol'll do that to a body. |
| #57lhockeeMar 17, 2010 14:17:55 | Odd, that's what my psychiatrist keeps telling me...
So you've been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder then?
Grain alcohol'll do that to a body.
Well, that and the safety glue from school.
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| #58zombie_babiesMar 17, 2010 14:18:56 | How, exactly, did we get here? Jeebus, this'n's a stretch even for us. |
| #59lhockeeMar 17, 2010 14:20:04 | I ain't sure exactly, but I blame the grasshoppers. |
| #60scypioMar 17, 2010 14:20:42 | Yeah, you guys better get back on-topic and talk about punching stupid kids in the head with keys for amusement! |
| #61PinnacleMar 17, 2010 14:27:32 | Are the keys really a necessary element? |
| #62zombie_babiesMar 17, 2010 14:28:08 | That's always a good topic. Stupid kids and their stupid heads. |
| #63lhockeeMar 17, 2010 14:29:19 | Yes. They jingle when you hit skulls. It's musical. |
| #64zombie_babiesMar 17, 2010 14:30:45 | Plus they can cause injury and that's always a ... plus. |
| #65lhockeeMar 17, 2010 14:33:06 | A bonus, really. Pluses are just so mundane and simple. |
| #66EscherEnigmaMar 17, 2010 14:36:44 | Pluses? Bonuses? What, is their scoring? Do you get points? |
| #67lhockeeMar 17, 2010 14:38:44 | Oh. Oh! I like that idea. {plots} |
| #68PinnacleMar 17, 2010 14:38:47 | Plus they can cause injury and that's always a ... plus.
Punching does that anyway. 
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| #69zombie_babiesMar 17, 2010 14:38:54 | Pluses? Bonuses? What, is their scoring? Do you get points?
Only if you hospitalize them. |
| #70lhockeeMar 17, 2010 14:39:38 | {snicker} |
| #71zombie_babiesMar 17, 2010 14:40:25 | Punching does that anyway.
Yeah, but not with style. |
| #72lhockeeMar 17, 2010 14:42:02 | Oh, how about Style Points? |
| #73scypioMar 17, 2010 14:42:50 | If you catch them just right with the keys, maybe you could engrave your car logo into their heads. |
| #74lhockeeMar 17, 2010 14:46:20 | Oh, I just use a vehicle if I want to do that. Run the little suckers over. |
| #75zombie_babiesMar 17, 2010 14:47:13 | If you catch them just right with the keys, maybe you could engrave your car logo into their heads.
Even better, you may be able to start 'em up. |
| #76lhockeeMar 17, 2010 14:48:35 | {Yuck} |
| #77toastedamphibianMar 17, 2010 17:52:20 | Reading these replies, it has dawned on me that some of you are doing it wrong. You should not have the LOGO part on the outside, the keys should not be dangling in front of your hand. Wasted potential. No. You grip the key chain firmly in your hand, with the head part, the part you turn, firmly resting in your palm, and the actual key, the long pointy part, sticking out between your fingers just below your knucles. I a raggedy, jabby, improvised set of spiked brass knuckles.
That is how you key punch damnit.
Submit and learn, bask in the glory of the heat lamp. |
| #78PinnacleMar 17, 2010 21:31:45 | I know that. What makes you think anybody doesn't know that? |
| #79toastedamphibianMar 17, 2010 21:36:03 | I know that. What makes you think anybody doesn't know that?
Comments of logos and gingling. |
| #80Cpt_MichaMar 17, 2010 21:37:43 | Logos make it so interesting though! |
| #81PinnacleMar 17, 2010 21:46:12 | Comments of logos and jingling.
Oh, I read the "engrave your logo" thing as scratching it in. I see it now.
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| #82zombie_babiesMar 18, 2010 9:07:33 | My keys have a small chain connecting the car keys (on a clasp so you can start the car and keep your keyless remote) to the mass of other keys. It makes a sort of mini, spikey nunchuck thing. It's awesome. |
| #83scypioMar 18, 2010 10:11:07 | Dude, I'm strong enough to hurt little kids without some sort of spikey brass knucks. I engrave the logo for added style.
If you go down to a hospital, the kids that were put there by some sucker all looks the same. The kids I hospitize have a nice Mazda logo on their head. |
| #84zombie_babiesMar 18, 2010 10:18:24 | See? That's the kind of stuff all of us kid keyers need to be doing. |
| #85toastedamphibianMar 18, 2010 17:49:34 | My keys have a small chain connecting the car keys (on a clasp so you can start the car and keep your keyless remote) to the mass of other keys. It makes a sort of mini, spikey nunchuck thing. It's awesome.
Same, and it is awesome, but that is not punching. |
| #86toastedamphibianMar 18, 2010 17:51:13 | Dude, I'm strong enough to hurt little kids without some sort of spikey brass knucks. I engrave the logo for added style.
If you go down to a hospital, the kids that were put there by some sucker all looks the same. The kids I hospitize have a nice Mazda logo on their head.
Cool. But that is not key punching. Stealing the name is a disservice to both key punching and whatever it is your doing. |
| #87scypioMar 19, 2010 7:46:21 | Its kid keying, which is much superior to this key punching (when applied to kids). |
| #88KlirshonMar 19, 2010 8:30:30 | I disagree.
With kid keying you only scratch their surface. When key punching kids you can unlock their potential. Some have more potential than others... |
| #89scypioMar 19, 2010 8:35:48 | Eh, it depends on your goals. I care more about vanity (leaving my mark) than helping kids. |
| #90zombie_babiesMar 19, 2010 8:38:19 | Same, and it is awesome, but that is not punching.
Yeah, not punching. It also doesn't preclude you from using your keys in the conventional, spikey brass knuckle configuration. It's just an added option. And one hell of a fun one. 
Eh, it depends on your goals. I care more about vanity (leaving my mark) than helping kids.
I think what he meant by 'unlock their potential' was 'brains'. ;) |
| #91KlirshonMar 19, 2010 8:40:56 | I'm sure they won't need that potential later on anyways. Might as well let someone else put it to use, like zombies... |
| #92scypioMar 19, 2010 8:43:06 | Let them zombies do their own work. I'm there for the fun of abusing children and the vanity of having my mark visible. |
| #93KlirshonMar 19, 2010 9:01:54 | Some zombies would trade an arm and a leg for some brains though... |
| #94zombie_babiesMar 19, 2010 9:12:15 | You can make your mark visible and unlock their potential. You don't have to choose. That's the beautiful thing about keyin' kiddies. |
| #95KlirshonMar 19, 2010 9:27:21 | True, no reason to choose when you can do both at the same time. |
| #96zombie_babiesMar 19, 2010 9:55:28 | Exactly! Hell, the best thing to do is try an' come up with new stuff to do! |
| #97lhockeeMar 19, 2010 11:11:31 | How about Clown Burning? It's both an excellent way to vent all those pent up feels of anger, and hilarious to watch at the same time! |
| #98toastedamphibianMar 21, 2010 21:31:55 | How about Clown Burning? It's both an excellent way to vent all those pent up feels of anger, and hilarious to watch at the same time!
Clowns attract zombies.
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| #99ADHadhMar 22, 2010 4:34:02 |
Clowns attract zombies.
Exploding Clowns - end zombie apocalypse today!
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