Getting down to it, i'm doing research for my cultural studies essay, I've decided to combine two issues close to my heart and explore the views and opinions surrounding my hobby and my sexuality.
Ok so what I’m looking for is stories, anecdotes, opinions and views about gay people and D&D. The normal kind of discussions you get in the Parlour, but with a different subject.
Things I’m looking for:
Does sex and sexuality have a place in D&D?
Are you gay? Do you exclusively play gay characters?
Are you straight and have you ever played a gay character?
Do your characters conform to stereotypes?
Anything else interesting along these lines!
As an example, I played a Halfling Arcane Trickster, sexuality didn’t really come into the character build as he tended to use his ‘child-like’ appearance to run a lot of his schemes, but the PC’s cohort a female pixie ended up in a relationship with the PC of one of my friends. We discussed the implications of a straight guy’s character having a relationship with a gay guy’s character. We concluded that there were non beyond the usual role-playing complexities. It didn’t matter to him if I was gay or straight, nor whether I was male or female, what mattered was the fun of the game, and the circumstances that brought the characters together.
Another example, as a DM one of my players created an all singing, all dancing, camp as a row of tents elven bard. I knew the player well enough not to be insulted by this, but we did discuss why he felt his character had to utilize every stereotype in the gay handbook. In the end it was purely for comic value, which is as good a reason as any to play a character if your comfortable playing the jester role. It certain gave me a ton of adventure hooks and created a memorable campaign that ran more like a ‘carry on’ farce.
I know when writing a thesis you shouldn’t pre-conclude, but what I’m hoping to find, or at least make a concrete argument for, is that D&D players are generally not homophobic. I believe that the ability to play different characters and put yourself into someone else’s mind frame allows you to be more accepting of other people lifestyles.
I’ve waffled on and may not be making as much sense as I’d like, so I’m gonna stop here. I’ll just set a few rules, I would like the whole spectrum of feelings and opinions, but please respect other peoples right to live their lives as they choose. If you truly have very strong anti-homosexual opinion that must be expressed in an angry insulting way, I invite you to do so by sending me a personal message and not posting in this thread.
I come from a small welsh mountain town and have been raised with two very macho rugby playing brothers, (for the Brits out there I’m literally ‘the only gay in the village’) so I’ve learnt not to take things seriously and am not easily offended. Thanks for reading!
But this brought up questions of the nature of d&d. Is it conducive to stereotyping? If one race looks down on another, is that the same as being prejudice in rl? And even though it's a matter of the group and how they want to play, isn't there something inherently racist about d&d with some races being inherently evil, weak, etc? This may be getting a bit off topic, but it was one of the only times something like this came up where rl attitudes and feelings were affected by the game.
Eventually the player left the group for unrelated reasons and we continued the trend of dwarf / elf rivalry. I don't consider myself biased against any group of people, but does acting this way through a character reveal something about myself, or is it just a game?
Anyway, I am bi and yes, my favourite PC was too, but this is by no means a trend; it was simply how I saw her. Other characters have been straight, etc. To be honest I don't think too much about my sexuality in real life, so I don't in D&D, either.
Also I absolutely hate stereotypes; I think if someone straight is going to play a gay character, it shouldn't be obvious, or indeed noticable at all until the PC's go to a tavern and...well, you know.
well not exactly. I myself am straight and do disagree with the style of life that gay people have chosen to live, in part because of religious affiliation, but mostly because I just view it as morally wrong to engage in sexual behavior with other members of the same sex. That being said in my campaign world I choose not to make and issue out of sexual orientation, all npcs who exist in it are assumed to be straight and all of my players play straight characters because they are all straight in real life and know the rest of us would give them a hard time about it. If a gay player joined my group I would probably just politly ask him to play a straight character just to simplify things and if he/she wouldn't go along with it I would try and make sexual orientation completely unimportant so that I wouldn't have to deal with it.
My first PC (bearing in mind that I am only on my fourth. I have only been playing for just over a year) was of a race who could shapechange into their totem animal. My totem animal was a wolf. I was also a ranger. My animal companion was also a wolf. We had hot animal sex all the time =) I am not speciest, although I feel that I should make it known that I think having sex with animals is wrong (in real life). :P
I would imagine nerds and other social retards (not an insult!) play D&D more frequently than people who were the most popular in school. As such we are used to being teased and insulted despite being good people. Having this experience probably means that we (in general) have a greater capability to see others for who they are rather than what label others call them. Not that you would know it by looking at some of the **** that is flung in these forums, but facelessness does strange things to people's tolerance.
It has occurred to me that in our group I am the only one who had ever played a different gender aside from one of the gay guys who played a female for a couple of months and an asexual warforged before that.
-Shinydice
My first PC (bearing in mind that I am only on my fourth. I have only been playing for just over a year) was of a race who could shapechange into their totem animal. My totem animal was a wolf. I was also a ranger. My animal companion was also a wolf. We had hot animal sex all the time =) I am not speciest, although I feel that I should make it known that I think having sex with animals is wrong (in real life). :P
man what
I'll go out on a limb and assume the thread survives, and respond to the questions posted in the OP.
Does sex and sexuality have a place in D&D?
Not in every game, but in some. On the conservative end, think of how many adventure plots in heroic fantasy are driven by these in some regard--the most quaint example these days would probably be rescuing the princess from the dragon. On the less so, simply put, sex, romance, marriage, family, etc. are common motivations and dreams of, well, people, and this can be true of fictional people played in a game, especially one in which roleplaying is important. Not every character is an island; some might have significant others or spouses whose lives may affect or be affected by a character's heroic (or villainous) career. (Example: Villains imperiling a hero's significant other.) There are other examples, but suffice it to say, a game can deal with sex/sexuality/romance/etc. maturely without hitting Book of Erotic Fantasy territory.
Are you gay? Do you exclusively play gay characters?
Yes and yes, actually.
Do your characters conform to stereotypes?
Some of them seem to at a glance, but they tend to subvert expectations in one way or another. For instance, some of my characters could be called butch, but most don't conform to the (massive and often untrue) stereotyping generally applied to the label.
It got awkward for one of my friends(who wasn't gay) when our DM told him that he was attracted to him and informed him of his being gay. Despite me not being gay, I was kind of jealous. Its sort of the same feeling you get when you find out that a girl you know, that you may not be interested in, has the hots for your friend.
Does sex and sexuality have a place in D&D?
It does if I'm getting some. Otherwise it doesn't. If I'm the only one not getting laid in a game people die in their sleep. That's just the way it is. Don't hate the player, hate the game!
Are you gay? Do you exclusively play gay characters?
No, and no. That would just make everybody uncomfortable and frankly I don't find anything enticing about roleplaying a gay man. Though I might consider the prospect of a gay in-game relationship with a convincing tranny like Bridget..
Are you straight and have you ever played a gay character?
Yes. And no, I havn't. But wouldn't rule out the possibility, just very-very unlikely..
Do your characters conform to stereotypes?
No. But then they always tend to be chaotic neutral to chaotic evil. Depends really on if I'm getting laid or not..
Anything else interesting along these lines
Invest in poison. Lots and lots of poison. Mages never bother to use detect poison, and all it takes it one good blow-dart to kill one of them mages. Maybe that'll teach'em to reject you in favor of the angsty goth boy..
I'm more open to the idea of a homosexual relationship in game then my friends because I read yaoi. Despite my chaotic evil nature to ****, purge, and compulsively lie my way out of situations. I not-so secretly just want a cutesy lovey-dovey relationship like the ones in yaoi douhinshii where there's alot of passion, blushing, and selflessness..
And sense I never get that, and my comrades are *******s, I tend to revert back to the raping, the purging, and compulsively lying. Frankenstein only want friend..
On an unrelated note, lots of gay men are hot for me. Why I don't know. Specially the younger ones. Maybe it's the whole chaotic evil but really just want to be loved thing and it makes them cream. Course my friends aren't really tolerant enough to let them game with us. Like when Fernando and Joe got into it.
Kind of funny thinking about it how I can be friends with a very openly gay man, and a Nazi skinhead.