KEEP IT WAVING!
This is not a thread for politics, haters, or whiners. You can all shove off.
To my fellow Americans: Happy Birthday, Us!
I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding
generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be
commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of
devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with
pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells,
bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent
to the other, from this time forward forevermore.
-- John Adams, 1776
PS: birthday=cash=about 20 steps closer to http://www.amazon.com/Dungeons-Dragons-Core-Rulebook-Gift/dp/0786950633/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1215184268&sr=8-2
(Amazon.com is pretty cheap.)
Happy Birthday, America!
Now, it is time to go start up the grill for the 4th of July Barbecue!
The joys of having a close-knit gaming group, they are the friends invited for the barbecue and then a marathon 3-day weekend adventure of Keep on the Shadowfell.
Where else but America, huh?
:P
OK, we were British then, not Canadian, but close enough for rock & roll.
Gotta keep Manifest Destiny in check.
Isn't it also Canada day, or around that time?
Aww, thanks for the belated!
Happy Birthday to all our neighbours to the south there.
Also that sentence illustrates the differences between our fine countries. We like to add a 'u' to a few words.
Yup, I think that's about it!
cheers!
July 1st is too close to July 4th to remember; they don't even remember we burned down the White House.
Yes, we do. We just don't care.
We just don't care.
America in a nutshell.
America in a nutshell.
Like I said, no hating in this thread. Not even tongue-in-cheek.
There there, Canada. You can't expect the Americans to remember your birthday. Don't worry, all of us up North still love you. <3
:P
I remembered it. Was July 1, wasn't it?
Like I said, no hating in this thread. Not even tongue-in-cheek.
Wasn't the "we just don't care" comment yours? Sounds like hating to me.
Pot & Kettle time.
Just say 'No" to thread emperors.
Now I'm done.
To the citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise." You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra'; you may elect to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you find you simply can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up "vocabulary"). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."
3. You will relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called "Come-Uppance Day."
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
8. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling "gasoline") -roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with mayonnaise but with vinegar.
10. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." American brands will be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
13. You will cease playing American "football." There is only one kind of proper football; you call it "soccer." Those of you brave enough will, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the "World Series" for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.
14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due backdated to 1776.
Thank you for your co-operation.
John Cleese
Wasn't the "we just don't care" comment yours? Sounds like hating to me.
Pot & Kettle time.
Just say 'No" to thread emperors.
Now I'm done.
No, my statement was an honest assessment of how little impact the burning of the WH had on our history. This thread is about American exceptionalism, greatness, and history.
Cartoonists with acid-tipped pens portray some of the reminders of our heritage and our destiny as old-fashioned. They say that we are trying to retreat into a past that actually never existed. Looking to the past in an effort to keep our country from repeating the errors of history is termed by them as “taking the country back to McKinley.” Of course I never found that was so bad -- under McKinley we freed Cuba. On the span of history, we are still thought of as a young upstart country celebrating soon only our second century as a nation, and yet we are the oldest continuing republic in the world.
I thought that tonight, rather than talking on the subjects you are discussing, or trying to find something new to say, it might be appropriate to reflect a bit on our heritage.
You can call it mysticism if you want to, but I have always believed that there was some divine plan that placed this great continent between two oceans to be sought out by those who were possessed of an abiding love of freedom and a special kind of courage.
--SNIP--
Fifty-six men, a little band so unique -- we have never seen their like since -- pledged their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor. Sixteen gave their lives, most gave their fortunes and all of them preserved their sacred honor. What manner of men were they? Certainly they were not an unwashed, revolutionary rebel, nor were then adventurers in a heroic mood. Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists, 11 were merchants and tradesmen, nine were farmers. They were men who would achieve security but valued freedom more.
And what price did they pay? John Hart was driven from the side of his desperately ill wife. After more than a year of living almost as an animal in the forest and in caves, he returned to find his wife had died and his children had vanished. He never saw them again, his property was destroyed and he died of a broken heart -- but with no regret, only pride in the part he had played that day in Independence Hall. Carter Braxton of Virginia lost all his ships -- they were sold to pay his debts. He died in rags. So it was with Ellery, Clymer, Hall, Walton, Gwinnett, Rutledge, Morris, Livingston, and Middleton. Nelson, learning that Cornwallis was using his home for a headquarters, personally begged Washington to fire on him and destroy his home--he died bankrupt. It has never been reported that any of these men ever expressed bitterness or renounced their action as not worth the price. Fifty-six rank-and-file, ordinary citizens had founded a nation that grew from sea to shining sea, five million farms, quiet villages, cities that never sleep -- all done without an area re-development plan, urban renewal or a rural legal assistance program.
President Whitmore's speech from Independence Day
And now, a word from my childhood hero, Ronald Millhouse Reagan:
"Ok guys. I say NO politics on this thread... except for me."
Quoting Reagan is about as subtle as if some lefty asked people not to talk politics then went on to say "And to quote one of my favorite social theorists, Karl Marx..."
It's provocation, and trying to get people into political talk in response so that you can then turn around all offended-like and complain that people are crapping over your thread, with plausible deniability as to your intentions.
May Freedom Ring!
As an Englishman, I would like to bring your attention to the following letter by John Cleese:
As an Englishman, you should know that wasn't penned by John Cleese. It's still pretty funny though.
|
| True that
"Ok guys. I say NO politics on this thread... except for me."
Quoting Reagan is about as subtle as if some lefty asked people not to talk politics then went on to say "And to quote one of my favorite social theorists, Karl Marx..."
It's provocation, and trying to get people into political talk in response so that you can then turn around all offended-like and complain that people are crapping over your thread, with plausible deniability as to your intentions.
Oh, you're free to quote Marx, if he ever said anything to reinforce ideas of American greatness and exceptionalism.
If the nationalistic tone of this thread doesn't demonstrate that the politics ban was blatantly one-sided, nothing does.