Me, my bro, and my sis are sick of my mom's ********. SHe's so materialistic and goes on about how she "wasted" money putting them (my bro and sis) in private school because they aren't rich and successful. SHe goes on about every bad thing that we ever did, but she has spent tons of time in jail for shoplifting, she only likes to talk about negative stuff, she interferes in everyone's lives (after meeting my bro's new girl the SECOND TIME she began suggesting that they have kids) she never listens to what we say, she does whatever the hell she wants, our opinion is meaningless. She throws tantrums when she doesn't think that she is getting the attention she deserves, and I always have to listen to it when she starts *****ing, otherwise she'll get super stressed and land herself in jail again.
My bro and sis are sick of this ****, naturally, and go after her. Which pisses her off. And then I hear about it. And it stresses me out. And it ****s my life over. Again. And again. And again. I hate my family. She's been trying to spark up a sibling war by using me as a "look he's so much better than his siblings" example when she talks crap about my bro and sis, when I talk to her on the phone, she tries to talk about how such and such is so bad, and when I change the conversation, she gets grumpy and tries to sneak it back in.
WHAT DO I DO?!
She seems to being acting very sophomoric.
IF I DO THAT, she'll go out and shoplift and land herself in jail again, then my dad will try to bail her out *again* and we don't have that much money!
Does your dad bail her out because of guilt?
Her shoplifting because she's acting like a child should be non of your concern. It's her problem that she needs to deal with. If she want attention then she needs to learn to behave before she should get it.
I don't know why he does it! He may not do it this time, they hate each other at the moment, but he may decide to anyways! He did it two years ago, he might again! If I ignore her, I get all kinds of messages on my phone that start out as anxious, and end eith her having a crying fit to guilt trip me into putting up with her!
It seems like she may be playing on sympathy to manipulate you. I can't tell for sure because I don't know her so this is something you will have to decide upon. You should see what others have to say so you can get different opinions.
If not, get one. It gives you a reason to be out of the house, and after you save up for a while, you can move out. The best you can do in a situation like that is try not to let it get to you, and get out at a time it makes sense to do so.
Now, I'm not encouraging you to run away or anything. I'm taking the long view here. Get a job, save up some money, finish school, and get out. At most, you have a few more years of this to deal with, and then decades more to yourself.
Stryke, I live two hours from the nearest city. It would be a huge drain on money, since I'd have to drive both ways every day, and any money I make won't make up for the costs.
Follow the link. You'll see how rural I am.
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=366568212&albumId=1117337
Anything my dad says she automatically disagrees with, since she's hated him as far back as I can remember!
I've had to deal with this a lot in the last four years, and it's really starting to affect me. I can't get to sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning, and I don't get out of bed until at least noon! I'm easily angered, easily depressed, and I feel like I'm worthless because I can't fix this!
None of us can do anything! We all had a family talk with her, we were blunt and everything, trying to make our point, and she almost had a seizure, she was so angry! She REFUSES to see things from another person's point of view, she is convinced that she's always right, and won't back down!
Anything my dad says she automatically disagrees with, since she's hated him as far back as I can remember!
I've had to deal with this a lot in the last four years, and it's really starting to affect me. I can't get to sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning, and I don't get out of bed until at least noon! I'm easily angered, easily depressed, and I feel like I'm worthless because I can't fix this!
You're not worthless. Your mom is obviously extremely pigheaded and self-centered, and that's not your fault. It's not your fault if you can't change it because some people are just too closed-minded. I can understand your frustration and the stress of her dumping her problems on your shoulders, but don't put yourself down about it. You are obviously a reasoning being, even if she isn't.
It looks like the only way to solve the problem is to ignore her. It will probably be unpleasant, especially since she is your mother, even if she is lacking in good judgement and empathy. It seems like the best you can hope for is that she doesn't go out shoplifting, but if she does, then you should try to talk to your dad about how it will hurt the rest of the family if he bails her out. He may want to bail her out because he felt something for her at one time, even if it has been wiped out by her antics. But if your family can't afford it, it can have serious repercussions if he bails her out anyway. And I hate to say it, but spending a little time in jail may give your mom some perspective. It sounds to me like she is basically spoiled and thinks that there are no consequences. A few days in jail might show her the consequences. I hate to advise something that's kind of heartless, but it sounds like it is the only thing that can be done.
My dad isn't giving a specific answer, he says he won't because of her monetary situation, but if he had money, he's unsure of what he would do.
You are right, me, my brother, and my sister all agree that she thinks that there are no consequences to her actions, but when she gets the negative backlash from her actions, she doesn't think "Oh, I did something wrong, I need to stop" she thinks "Well, this is so and so's fault"
She refuses to get help from a professional to deal with her issues (she's had a bunch since childhood) because she doesn't want to spend the money. What she doesn't realize is if she got help, we'd all be happier, and several of her expensive escapades would not have happened. When the court orders her to get help, she only does it for the minimum time required. She refuses to see a psych if my dad has to be there at the same time. SHe thinks it's too much to pay 15 bucks a session (we found a really cool person that gave her that great deal)
Seek therapy. There are plenty of social services available for people who do not have a lot of money. Seek them out (try contacting a social work for some leads on this). Try to get your mother to go with you, but if she does not, try to get your brother and sis to go with you. If they do not go, then go yourself!
My mom refuses to go. My bro and sis have already gone, and they live too far away for me to go to therapy with them. I'm already looking into this for myself, though.
Your mother sounds like a piece of work (excuse my forward assumptions), but some real jail time and real consequences to her actions may be just the ticket. If even that doesn't work, she's either a lost cause or needs some serious mental health issues. Have her arrested and carted off if need be, nobody should have to put up with that kind of abuse.
Hang in there youngin'.
And then after that, we may turn the music up real loud, get some friends over, and start a mosh pit.....
Yeah, I'm gonna be watching the 2 hour video of the concert I went to last month, my bro wants to see it, and it'll give me a chance to 'relive' an awesome night.
So let's see. Here's my to-do list.
Death Trap.
Genocide.
Senseless violence and destruction.
Awesome.
Genocide (HALO)
Senseless violence and Destruction (The Mosh)
:P
I thought that you only get an ulcer by drinking too much. I don't.
Nah drinking apparently has almost nothing to do with ulcers. They are mostly caused by bacterial infections, but there is some evidence that stress either causes or increases the likely hood of getting an ulcer. So if you aren't careful, you might get an ulcer! Feel stressed about that possibility.:P
They are mostly caused by bacterial infections, but there is some evidence that stress either causes or increases the likely hood of getting an ulcer. So if you aren't careful, you might get an ulcer! Feel stressed about that possibility.:P
Pretty much what I meant when I said it. I just didn't want to stress him further by going into to much detail. :P
SEE!? NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!?
What? It isn't like every single person on the planet who gets stressed gets ulcers. I'm sure baneofelves won't get an ulcer even with the added stress caused by fearing ulcers......although he might get affected by some of the other side effects of stress. However this was for bettering himself by helping expand his understanding of the world. To try to make bane feel slightly better, only about 20% of gastric ulcers potentially are not directly caused by bacteria(from what I read), so there aren't very good odds of it happening.
Yeah, I'm listening to death metal and music similar to it to relax me. The agressive music that should **** me off even more actually mellows me out. Wierd, huh?
Or, you know, keep assosciating with her so that she can continue to do everything possible to make you miserable. Because, you know, at this point, you probably need that. God knows she needs to do it.
Get a job if you don't have one, save money, wait till you're old enough and move out. Your mother is grown and can't be raised again. The best thing you can do is find your independance and appreciate and love your mother without relying on her to support you. We all know that advice is easy to give when you're not involved, and depending on your situation this may seem impossible to do, but I urge you to try.